So... cool funny fact! Including the ones from the extra levels, there are 100 different sun-stone collectables across all the stages, and you can in fact get all of them on your first go through each stage and before reaching the final fight, which it's exactly what I did. And after collecting the last one, it turns out the reward a keychain… of the final boss. I did know who the final enemy was before playing the game, but like… it never makes an appearance before the very last level, so those who decided to get everything before finishing the game, their reward was a spoiler, which I don’t know if I find it awful or fucking hilarious.

Taking into account hoy much I adore this pink ball of destruction and entropy, it’s surprising how I haven’t actually beaten a large number of his catalogue, and it’s doubly surprising how, despite loving Plantet Robobot and Return to Dreamland as much as I do, I didn’t even try any of the other two modern Kirby 2D platformers. Looking back, it was clearly a mistake, since many of the things that Triple Deluxe does would have impacted me way more if I played it before the absolute juggernaut that is Robobot and maybe I would be less severe with it in certain aspects, but at the same time, as good as this game can sometimes be, Triple Deluxe doesn’t nail things in the same way its predecessor did, so its problems can’t be summarized by simply saying ‘’is just a worse Planet Robobot’’, ‘cause just that eclipsis both its negative and positive aspects as well.

Triple Deluxe was very much designed for the system is on, and I don’t say that just because of its admittedly cheeky name; while the gyroscope controlled sections and the change and interactions between the background and foreground could be pulled off in any other console, it’s clear that this implementations where made with ‘’let’s showcase what this bad boy of a handheld can do’’ mindset, and yet, for things that could have ended up as mere distracting gimmicks, I don’t know man, I actually really enjoyed how these expand upon the original gameplay. The game does extremely neat things with this basis; all of the mirror sections are honestly fantastically designed and by far the best parts of the game (tho I wished there were more), the gyroscope on old stage hazards like the cannons put a really interesting spin on things and open up a ton of possibilities for puzzles and secrets, and the mere act of jumping between perspectives is always satisfying and never confusing. Plus, this might be the first game in the entirety od 3DS catalogue where I actually needed to put the 3D on, which depending on who you are may be a positive or a negative, and I’m someone that thinks the former; it’s implemented in an awesome way in boss fights and truly shows how 3D can enhance the moment to moment action, even if is just really solving a problem that itself created, it’s super satisfying to feel like there’s actual depth and dodging attacks that actually feel like they come out of the screen. Kinda funny it’s Kirby of all series that pulls this off the best, but oh well. It also holds up pretty well visually; I still defend that its successor it’s one of the best looking games in the entirety of the console’s library, but Triple Deluxe, even almost 10 years later (Jesus fucking H. Christ I’m withering alive…) has managed to stand tall as a visual spectacle; the colors, intertwined with the nature aesthetic that keeps changing across the entire game and the fantastic animations in the mini and normal bosses, make a 240p game look outright gorgeous. Oh, and before I forget, people always tend to praise Kirby’s OST, however, I’ve never seen many kind words towards TD’s soundtrack, which after playing the game kinda surprises me considering IT FUCKING SLAPS, sadly it does re-use a ton of Return to Dreamland’s songs, and I say sadly because every single level and boss theme is like silk. You’ve heard Masked Dedede theme. I don’t have to tell you how hard it goes, everyone knows it, and for good reason.

The game feels like it’s PROUD to be a part of the system its on, trying to be a kind of technical demo on steroids, and truly uses everything new it can to it fulles potential, and yeah, if Triple Deluxe is something, is sure is a fantastic showing of what the 3DS can do for 2D platformers. But that’s the thing, sometimes it feels like that’s everything it is: a game to go ‘’Wow, cool!’’ from time to time, and it seemingly forgot to try to craft the same sound and fun core that made up the games that came before and after it. Don’t get me wrong, as I said, Triple Deluxe it’s good, it’s fun, and it’s very much competent, it has a ton of interesting puzzles, the boss fights are varied and fun even if they are on the slower side this time around, and most of the new power-ups are great additions to the roster, specially Beetle and Circus (or as I call it and always will be in my heart, CLOWN), and all of that is nice yeah but… it’s what I expected from a Kirby sequel. Nothing really blew me away, it was consistently fun yeah, but not as fun, not as impressive. There’s a ton more stuff going on in the levels than ever before, but it doesn’t feel like it, even if it’s adorable to see Waddle Dee’s chopping trees in the background, the levels themselves are very ‘’by the numbers’’, and I don’t mean that it’s too simple, that’s how Kirby games are and I love them for it, but this is not that, it's not that it’s simple in its design, it’s that it’s simplistic on its layout; they follow the same beats and the same conventions that Return did while not being as fun or thrilling as that game was, and that makes Triple Deluxe feel like an overall lesser game. Hell, you could say it’s simplistic even on its story, Kirby was never strong on the moment to moment narrative, yeah, but here is basically nonexistent until the very end! And the Hypernova… oh how good could it have been… look, I’m not gonna act like the Super Abilities from Return were the best thing ever, ‘cause they weren’t, they were a small power fantasy that made one thing and one thing only, but at least: 1. They ended with unlocking a secret more challenging part of the level, 2. Their sections where still pretty interestingly designed and felt fun and organic, and 3. They were indeed optional. Hypernova throws ALL this out the window, sure, the sections when you have to use it can be fun and have great animations, specially the mini-bosses, but what ruins the re-playability it’s how you ALWAYS have to be Hypernova when you reach a certain moment of the game, the levels from that point onward are designed around the Hypernova, and they just result in the end of the level itself. As such, Hypernova doesn’t feel as much of a power-up as it is just a game saying ‘’NO! We gotta do the cool thing I want to do NOW!’’ and maybe that’s what they wanted to do, making cool sections to add variety in, but it just doesn’t translate into the levels that well, and I’m ever so glad that for the nex game, they designed the Robobot around what this type of mechanics should be, an expansion of you arsenal and a great utility instead of some glorified cutscenes and simplistic levels.

Maybe is wrong of me to be this harsh at Triple Deluxe, on their first go on this new system they laid down a ton of the basis that made what would end up coming after so incredible, and the game does manage to accomplish what it initially wanted to do, but that just doesn’t justify its shortcomings. I’ve seen this series do better, and this series would go on to even better, and so Triple Deluxe exists in this weird limbo, sandwiched between two games better than it, while still managing to be a pretty damn good snack on its own. It is fun, it is inventive, but it’s not exceptional…

… but that doesn’t matter ‘cuase the main objective of rescuing this game is rescuing DEDEDE, AND YOU CAN PLAY AS HIM IN A SIDE MODE, AND THERE’S AN ENTIRE MINIGAME DEDICATED TO HIM, WE ARE SO BACK, THIS GAME KNOWS THAT DEDEDE IS THE BEST AND I LOVE IT, I KNEEL, MY TRUE HERO OF DREAMLAND, 10 OUT OF 10, MASTERPIECE!

I'm not gonna beat around the bush here: I've cried laughing more times than I can count playing this. I already loved Quiplash 2 Internashional simply because it finally gave an opportunity to play a jackbox game with an excellent Spanish localization with my buddies, and this is just more of that plus two ''new'' games, and oh boy I adore this. Granted, the price is a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit inflated, with this three-game package being similar in price to full blown Jackbox Party Packs, tho I can excuse that a bit with how cheap it does get in sales and how excellent the translation is. Still, probably the biggest drawback of this compilation, 'cuase otherwise it's pretty excellent for what it is: a small collection of little games for a group of people to play and have a laugh at, and oh boy does it succeed.

So, I think it's fair that I talked about the games included individually, not only because they are all pretty different in their approach, but also because I really believe some are better than others, so let's make a mini review for each of them, shall we?



Quiplash 3: It’s in those little moments where you and a friend give the same answer for a prompt where you realize you all share just a single neuron….

This may sound a little silly to say considering how positive I was about all this at the start but… I think I might actually prefer Quiplash 2 to this one? In that one the final round had much more variety and could be three completely things, here, while it’s not a big departure from what you do in rounds 1 and 2, it doesn’t quite reach the levels of le funny that completing comics in Quiplash 2 did. Still… I mean… it’s still fucking Quiplash, it’s still a riot to play and I’d say that I actually prefer some of the prompts here that in the previous versions, since they tend to lean to the more absurd aspect that results in even more absurd answers, and I love that. Even if they named the presentator Schmitty instead of the actual superior name that is Gutierrez, at the end of the day, peak is still peak, I love that motherfucker.

4/5




Tee K.O.: There’s no worse feeling that losing to a shirt with your own drawing AND phrase, at that point it’s just mean…

Tee K.O. is… fine, and it’s a shame I have to say that when it can get so coo coo crazy. Making multiple drawings and phrases and then combining them to create shirts and competing against one another is an incredibly inspired and fun idea, and it is fun, but sadly, it does have a couple of drawbacks that the others just don’t have. It’s the game that suffers the most by being played in smaller groups; the other games in the pack are a blast even with the minimum amount of people, but Tee K.O was clearly designed for voice calls with a ton of people, and even then, that doesn’t change the fact hat it’s so damn long to get to the point, and that’s probably the least involved of the games. Again, not bad at all, but it’s the game I come back to the least, specially when the two other options are right there.


3/5





Murder Party 2: They did it, I don’t know how but they sure did it, they made a simpler Mario Party that’s somehow more intense.

Really now, reducing Murder Party 2 to calling it a ‘’Mario Party’’ is a gross misinterpretation, because holy hell, is this game fantastic on its own merits. Combining a trivia game with a horror setting and introducing minigames and the alive and dead mechanic makes it some of the most fun multiplayer game I’ve tried in a very long while, and also probably one of the most original. The presentation, the trivia and minigames themselves, the finale… this is my favorite Jackbox game I’ve played so far by a long shot, it perfectly nails what it wants to be and, even if it’s a departure from the other games focused on absurdism, it’s still funny as hell and the tension makes it the most interesting to go back to.

A god-like way to end the collection, an outstanding multiplayer experience in almost every way.

4.5/5

I'm not exactly what you would call a big F-Zero fan, I do enjoy the games, but I'm not a huge advocator for the series, nor I'm one of the many people that was genuinely waiting for its grand return. So, if even I felt emptiness and even a little bit of anger inside when I saw the word ''F-ZERO'' alongside the number ''99'', I can only imagine the sheer pain real F-ZERO fans must be feeling.

But look, despite the sheer disappointed and kinda mean way it was shown, I still wanted to at least give it a fair chance. After all, I do really enjoy Tetris 99 and the different takes Nintendo has done on it during all these years, and this was yet another spin I really wasn't expecting, and hey, a racing battle-royale is not the worst idea on the world, so let's ignore, for just but two paragraphs, that this is the new home console F-Zero game after 20 fucking years, let's ignore that unless it does really well, it will probably shut down after a year , let's ignore ALL of that for but a fleeting moment, and focus on the real important question: Is the game, at the very least, good?


...Meh, kinda.

I think the best thing that can be said about F-Zero 99 is that it is, in fact, F-Zero. From the original game, it was clear that behind its presentation as a high-speed racing game with minor combat elements, the series wanted to create a clear resource management based gameplay that rewarded quick thinking and skill, and it very much succeeded at that. The original game in particular made clear that it was no mere technical showcase, it was a really fun game that established a really fun foundation, and it's that foundation that F-Zero 99 embraces and upgrades. With much clear UI's (albeit with much less personality) and brand new mechanics, like the speen and the skyway, this game expands every possible aspect of the original in a... actually fun way? It's pretty fun and balanced, honestly, especially for a 99 player setting, and that coupled with fun modes like the team races and the mini and grand prix, this game is not that terrible or mind-numbing way to pass the time. There’s a ton of strategy at play, you really need to consider you position and power meter at all times, so you don’t get eliminated or destroyed. It is F-Zero, and I’ll admit, it’s fun to spin at other players and defeat the ‘’rivals’’ a mechanic I do think it’s pretty good on paper; at its core, this game does work… but it is with its problems, don’t get me wrong.

While having more racers with the introduced mechanics sounds fun, is not 98 player fun; the races feel EXTREMELY cluttered, specially at the beginning, they do try to mitigate this with an introduction before some courses, but it just devolves into absolute chaos after a moment. It’s pretty impossible to keep track of any specific player, which is kind of important considering the ‘’rivals’’, you’ll almost never actually actively defeat them, and it just seems like you beat them by mere chance of simply racing, or by other players intervention. The side modes are fun, but the fact that they are all rotating is absurd to me, specially the Prixes; like, I already need the tuckets to participate in them why do you also add the time restriction? So that I don’t blow them in one go? This is a game that you’ll play in small bursts, so that is a dumb reason if that’s the case. Also, I was gonna praise the sound, music and visuals of the game… until I realized it was all lifted from previous games or promotional material, and all new stuff clashes really hard with it and feels extremely generic.


The game IS good, it IS functional, it IS F-Zero, but it ISN’T more. It’s just a funny little idea that wasn’t really fleshed out as much as it could have been and came out at the worst time possible (see? I told you, only for two paragraphs), it doesn’t even justify its existence by being amazing, it’s just… good, and not even Tetris 99 good. I’ll probably boot it up from time to time since it does lend itself to fun moments, but the fact I say ‘’probably’’ and not ‘’surely’’ it’s a huge fault in the game’s part; I really hope it finds its audience, I’d hate to see the newest piece of F-Zero content being gone soon, but still, I would also understand if people just gave up on it after a while.

Well, at least it’s the latest apparition of Samurai Goroh, so it does have really good stuff…

There’s a point in the game where you get turned into a mouse, and to be completely honest, I wished the entire game was like that. A game about a knight mouse fighting normal monsters and humans sounds cool as few other things do.

I remember when I was young (like, primary school young), I would draw at any given opportunity, be it during recess or even in the middle of a class if I had the chance, and create stories and characters based on every series I watched and every game I played, with my weird-ass original characters throwed in from time to time. Even if my drawing and storytelling skills were equivalent to those of a dying rat and I now-a-days I’m much more comfortable with expressing my ideas in other forms like writing, I still look back at those memories with a certain fondness, days of just imagining stuff in my head and encapsulating those thoughts in a small dumb comic strip, and day dreaming about how, one day, I would create my own story, bet it comic, animated series or videogame, for everyone else to play or enjoy. I was very much not alone in this dream, even in my own class a ton of kids had similar aspirations, and tens of thousands of youngsters across the world did the exact same things as I, hell, maybe you reading this right now did; and those small moments of young creativeness are the ones which RPG Time: The Legend of Wright encapsulates perfectly, and it’s perhaps the strongest and most compelling thing about the entire experience.

The whole set-up couldn’t be more perfect: the entire thing takes place at merely at Kenta’s desk, the creator of the quote unquote ‘’game’’, and let me tell ya something, I don’t know if this kid has the skills to be a game developer, but his craftsmanship is on a whole other fucking level; every single piece and component of The Legend of Wright is made by either drawings or contraptions and handicrafts by Kenta, be it the main notebook where all the sections of the game are divided by pages, the scribbles on the desk with every single stat and hud you could imagine, and the little machines and sections made up entirely from common utensils… the charm is present not the moment you start the game or the tutorial, but the precise instance you boot up the game itself. And this is very much a fantastic thing, ‘cause this creativeness extrapolates pretty much innately to the gameplay itself; You never know what will surprise you next, what creative new craft will spice up a section and propose a puzzle, what new spin will be introduced in the next combat, or what may just happen outside the game itself and interfere with it. If The Legend of Wright does something, is not letting its concept go to waste, even if sacrifices a bit of the RPG in RPG Time… tho that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Look, I know a ton of people were kinda disappointed that this game didn’t go into the full potential of being a full-fledge RPG with such an unique aesthetic, and initially I was one of those people, but it didn’t take long enough for that perception to turn around the moment I realized what this game truly was. It is in a way a ode to the now grown-up kids that spent their time doing stuff like this on a smaller scale, yes, but it is also very much an experience intended for not gorwn-up kids; The Lengend of Wirght is an introduction, but not only to the RPG genre, but to games in genera: it has a ton of point and click elements throwed in, like slower movement and even a ‘’Where’s Waldo’’ type of minigame, that and the more linear progression, both in advancing the levels and leveling up, the combat feeling more like puzzles that actual RPG battles and the explanation of very basic gaming stuff and even some minor teachings related to science to stuff, and RPG Time turns out to be a perfect game for beginners, one that introduces a ton of concepts in a very compact game, while also not being afraid to experiment with mechanics to make no challenge equal, even if it’s never really that hard. RPG Time does what it seeks EXTREMELY well… but it’s not without its ‘’buts’’.

Even if many of these things are done in favor of being beginner friendly, the game does feel really slow and maybe a bit too stream-lined for its own sake; the first chapters drag-on a ton, making you do stuff that only feels like it’s constantly interrupting your pace, and even if it does get better as it goes on, specially at chapter 3 and 4, it only ends up making the overall experience feeling kind of uneven, and some chapters feel cluttered in comparison to others. It also doesn’t help that some changes of gameplay aren’t always winners, some are good, yes, but other minigames REAAAAAAAALLY feel like pure padding, and some combats felt a tad too simple, like the boss fight of the previously mentioned chapter 3. Healing items feel more like a collectable than actual items, some parts are more of an after thought and don’t really add to the overall experience, the plot feels a bit all over the place, and the table top game part had me 15 FREACKING MINUTES TRIYING TO GET A7 OH MY GOD I HATED THAT SO MUCH HOLY HELL…

… these little things pile up, sadly, and they begin to really hamper the overall experience… but in a weird way, it’s kinda fitting that it has this kinds of flaws. It’s a game made by a kid, with drawings and random stuff no less, and even tho I’m not defending its negatives, in a way it’s easy to put them into perspective in context.

The Legend of Wright is charming and lovely to no end, it’s in several ways a perfect starting point into the whole videogame realm, and even if it’s flawed and some parts were REALLY tiring, it’s still a game that makes me so happy at so many levels, like looking back at a fond memory, a cool adventure with many surprised that, if anything else, it’s charismatic like few others.

During the whole Dracula bit I could feel my brain rotting away as I laughed my ass off at the absurdity of it all. I don't think a game ever made me feel like that and I very much doubt that any other will manage it going forward.

The mid-two thousands and the early 2010’s could be considered the what I like to call ‘’RPG-Maker Horror-Narrative Golden Age’’; that’s not say that there haven’t been any games done with the variations of the engine since, games like Omori and even the Fear & Hunger duology quickly come to mind as two great examples of how recent RPG Maker made-in games can still bring something new to the table of the broader indie scene, but even those games are of an entirely different breed. Experimentation was the name of the game, even if there were your usual and classic RPG suspects, the most prolific games from that era are ones that broke de bounds of conventional RPG’s and explored different ways of telling a story beyond the limitations of the turned based combat structure. Sure, a ton (and I mean A TON) of low quality games spawned in this time with the hopes of jumping into the horror bandwagon, and some games are just plain tasteless and don’t really deserve being in the discussion, but even with this overabundance of low effort, the stars that explored the frontiers of narrative-focused gameplay, isometrical horror or just doing whatever they thought it was interesting: Yume Nikki (A game which also inspired an entire sub-genre of fan-games alone), Ib, OneShot, Mad Father and even more polarizing works like To the Moon are all examples of varying results of this; some noteworthy, some are a couple of the most important games of the whole millennial, and in cases like OneShot, some of my personal favorites. It’s also worth mentioning that around this time there was also the presence of ‘’comical/parody’’ games, most of these are generally products of their time and basically time capsules for memes and internet culture for all those years back. My point with this terrible info-dump is to say that it was up to each developer/s what to make, and how most of the best RPG Maker games focus on one thing at a time and thoroughly explore it, and the results mostly being phenomenal… anyway Space Funeral is a game were you kill ghosts by using old movies, the final boss questions the conditions of perfection and how that can tear minds apart, and a Djinn turns you into a fish…so yeah, it is a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit weird…

To be honest, and considering I just spat out the most boring Ted Talk possible about the RPG Maker indie scene, it’s only fair that I mentioned that Off (A game which I have yet to play) explored the base ideas of Space Funeral two years prior, that being focusing on bizarre world with and unconventional world and more involved combat compared to its contemporaries, but you see, the difference lies in that, whereas Off used its comedy and bizarreness as a more direct exploration of the fourth-wall and the relationship between protagonist and player, Space Funeral is just FUCKING BATSHIT CRAZY, to a level that I cannot make any funny remarks about it! Like, what I’m gonna say about the fact that you companion is a horse made with horse legs? It’s just a bunch of horse legs, I cannot make the absurd even more absurd! I CANNOT EVEN MAKE FUNNY PUNS WHEN THE MAKE ALREADY DOES THEM FOR ME, THIS GAME IS MY KRYPTONITE, I CANNOT STUPIDIY THE ALREADY DUMB OH GOD HELP M-

This game is, and looking at reviews from different places I’m glad that this notion is accepted, stupid, it’s an incredibly stupid game, so it might perplex you when I also say that this may be one of the most clever games I’ve played in all the year. It’s an unabashedly stupid piece of art, from the moment you open it is gross as it is beautifully dumb; a nonsensical world with no rhyme or reason, mind-boggling lay-outs and maps that have the colors of skunk vomit, characters that are as repulsive as they are comically sincere (seriously, everyone in this fucking game is so direct that reaches absurd levels, and I’m all in for it), the music ranges from pretty good sounding midis to absolute crazy tunes and possibly quite the scariest track I’ve heard in a while and sprite work that is either actually pretty cool and detailed or the most made-in-paint thing you’ll see in your life. It’s stupid… but the game perfectly knows it is. And by that I don’t mean that there’s a huge twist and it becomes super ‘’meta’’ and turns out the brain rot had a point, no, Space Funeral does tackle interesting themes and we’ll get to that, but from beginning to the very end, this game is non stop absurdity, even if it moments were it seems like there should be a more serious moment or the tone should shift, the game manages to still become a joke about itself: the fucking final boss has an incredibly interesting speech, and it decides it to end with the monument of a phrase that is ‘’Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven….. motherfuckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!’’. You know that friend that sends you stupid unfunny memes but you both now they are stupid and that’s where the ironic hilarity comes from? Now imagine if that friend did LSD and also was Socrates. That is Space Funeral. A game so content with its own foolishness that you cannot do nothing but be marveled by it, so… itself, unlike anything there could be at the time, both script wise and visually, it is one of those RPG Maker games that decided to do whatever it wanted, but it went far beyond I could had possibly imagined. There’s a reason I opened this review talking about the Dracula bit, it’s the perfect mixture of funny and uncomfortable that Space Funeral pulls off so well time and time again, and it’s what makes it so distinct and what made me so incredibly sad that I didn’t play it sooner.

It's even unconventional on how it tackles its themes; I originally thought that this game would be about maybe grief, considering the title, the main character’s sprite and the abundance of skulls and coffins, but that couldn’t have been further away from the truth, and in fact you could argue that it mocks tackling that subject at a certain point! Instead, Space Funeral seems more interested on focusing on battling a criminal lord drawn in paint using Bibles, going to the CRAP store and catching elves, you know, your usual Space Funeral stuff, but it does show snippets of a larger theme in some spare moments, and it all culminates with the ending. Remember when I said that didn’t go ‘’meta’’ at any point? Well, that was both a truth and a lie. Space Funeral seems to seek to tackle not only what ‘’perfection’’ truly means and implies, but the relationship between a creator and its work. I don’t want to get too much into spoilers, but this game does leave on a very interesting note without fully breaking the fourth wall, and even if the result seems to be made better in other games and it feels like too little to late, it was something that I really wasn’t expecting, and hey, maybe the fact it feels rushed or a bit unfocused it’s the point, you never know with this game.

The only thing I have real issues is the combat, not because it’s bad, mind you, and in fact for a game that lasts an hour, it manages to make its encounters feel nuanced and impactful: there’s a huge number of options and skills, a lot of equipment you can find for both characters and it’s very rewarding to learn fast and defeat enemies with the tools the game gives you. However, it’s still a fairly easy game, which I normally wouldn’t have much of a problem with, but that and its short duration made it so there was never a real point where I felt like I needed to use all of my tools or think that strategically, aside from the usual defense drop or heal, and it’s a shame ‘cause the combat seems like a part of the game that was made with genuine intent to be more complex and interesting, but sadly it’s probably the most mind-numbing part about the whole thing.

But, if anything, I’m still ‘’mind-melted’’, Space Funeral reminds me of why I adore exploring weird yet fascinating worlds, and how absurdity and surrealism can make a work so incredibly enjoyable, funny, and even… lovely. That is a weird adjective to use with the game, but hey, the game itself is weird…

… so it kinda fits, huh?

5 minutes with a dino game, 5 minutes well spent...

A game with very light platforming and fantastic humor and delivery, the inventory and the map changing gags specially were really inspired and I found myself with a big ol' smile while playing. While I myself don't have ADHD and that's definitively a barrier for just really knowing how good of a representation of it seems, folks seem to be pleased with how it's shown and represented, and it's a very sincere and fun representation and that. Plus, it's done with dinos. I mean... c'mon, that makes it even better.

So yeah, not much else to say , actually, it's a funny little game that comes from a sincere place while also managing to be effectively comical. It is what it is, and what it is a very sweet and interesting time.

Ah yes, this brings back memories, back when I was a dumb kid that never even got past unlocking Mario and that genuinely thought that the 64 was because there were other 63 games before it... good times.

Nintendo is no stranger to remastering and porting their games, hell, the last generation and with the Wii U to Switch transition we probably got the most amount of ports we've ever gotten; but they are far more stingy when it comes to fully remaking their previous work. When it happens it’s this unexpected event, and with the exception of maybe the Pokémon franchise, most of their series have so little full-blown re-imaginations of older titles that most can be counted with only the fingers on one hand. So yeah, it’s a big deal when it happens if only to see how it ends up turning up, so I guess it’s kinda obvious to say that when they announced a remake of Super Motherfucking Mario the 64th, for their brand new handheld at the time and as a launch title, it was indeed a pretty huge deal. Even with the original being far from a favorite for me, I’ve said in numerous occasions that Super Mario 64 is an absolute monument of a game; while saying it alone revolutionized the 3D gaming industry is a bit of an exaggeration, it was for sure the most important game for the platforming genre, one that experimented with movement like few other games had done, and to this day it holds up surprisingly well and many play it rigorously to this very day, so it’s only natural to thing that a remake of it would still be talked about to this da- you know where I’m getting at don’t you?

Everytime the SM64 or even the 3D Mario sphere is in a conversation, 64DS is almost always left aside, and results into the almost meme worthy statement that is ‘’3D Land was the first 3D Mario in a handheld (64DS doesn’t count)!’’, like, poor game needs a hug, man… But to be completely honest, for the longest time I didn’t blame anybody if it just forgot about it; just the memories of those years back when I first played it were enough to put me in a bad mood: constant falls, terrible feeling controls, almost headache inducing camera, this was not just a mere case of me sucking at games yet again, this time… this time the game was ass. And so, I really dreaded returning to it, but it was just a matter of time; it is the only remaining 3D Mario game that I had yet to beat, and with the original game behind me, it was time to, yet again, finish what I started… and right off the bat, I think by far the best compliment I give this game is that it doesn’t suck even half of what I expected.

64DS is as much a original game as it is a remake of the original Super Mario 64, and right off the bat I can say it’s a pretty faithful remake; it doesn’t have as many changes as it does additions, and so practically all the levels were completely untouched, with only some sections to accommodate new missions within the levels or simply to make platforming not such a chore as it could be in the original game, like some changes in Whomp Fortress or a ground floor being added to Tick Tock Clock, which is like encountering an oasis admist the desert. Aside from those minor alterations, all of the World Portraits and Peach’s Castle are a carbon copy of their N64 counterparts, and that translates into all the positives I said about them mostly hold up: inspired ‘’toy box’’ design, a wonderful main hub area, fantastic ambience and even pretty funny dialogue, super creative missions, and pretty simple but fun boss fights; these latter two being even greater than before thanks to the new additions made in the remake. A whooping 30 new stars were added to the game, that, plus THREE brand new characters (this game is in fact the first instance of Luigi being playable in a 3D Platformer, so it gets points on that alone), prompted the addition of new small phases and even bosses, and these new content is honestly fantastic! The new mini levels are super fun obstacle courses, and fighting King Goomba and King Boo was a really unexpected surprise, but a welcomed one that references other parts of the series I really wasn’t expecting. So yeah, this game does have a ton of stuff that is pretty good, well that’s fantastic! Maybe this was hidden gem all alon- Yeah I should stop doing this bit, but anyway, the game still blows in many, MANY areas.

First, let’s address the elephant in the room, and no, not that one; the controls. Look, 64 DS was born as a way to showcase what the DS could achieve graphically first, there’s no denying that, but saying that the team simply slapped the game into the system without consideration is also a gross misjudgment. There tried, like, REALLY tried, they made the camera far more responsive and useful than it ever was in the original, they added the whole touch screen support thing to give the 360 movement, there really was attempt, but that’s what it was, an attempt. The D-Pad and the eight directions it can provide just don’t adapt to the complex and 3-Dimensional environments of Super Mario 64, they make the once so fluid action of just moving and jumping so much complicated and unreliable, and coupled with the fact that every action and button feels so cramped considering this a fairly complex game, it results in never truly feeling like you are in total control of ANY of the characters, and even if some sections were changed or made easier to accommodate that, that’s the equivalent of shooting the game with a shotgun and putting a band aid over the wound; that’s just trying to make less painful something that it didn’t have to happen in the first place. Controls are not the only thing that is problematic tho, the squad is here to also be kinda mid! I… do not really understand why there are more characters here, like, the idea IS really cool, but considering that the original game only had Mario to begin with and how it’s implemented, it’s once again a case of solving a problem that wasn’t there on thee first place. The Power-Ups are now grouped together in the singular Flower-Power-Up, which has an different effect on each different character and that, plus the fact that stars are made exclusive to character’s specific capabilities, like Wario’s super strength or Mario’s wall jumping, it does the total opposite of stream lining, it complicates once so simple and fun missions and turns them into a slog that in some cases you have to wait to even beat! Now granted, the fact that there are the hats that let you turn into another character does prevent this from becoming a DK64 situation, but it still can be a pain to get to were the hats are before getting the start itself, and if it just so happens that the start requires Yoshi, the you gotta exit the level and change into him, and oh, what’s that, there are black bricks outside Peach’s Castle? Welp, time to change into Wario! Oh? There are bars you cannot get through? Well, you better change into Luigi to grab the invisibility power-up you scoundrel! And would you look at that, you need to wall jump in this specific area! Time to change into Mario and get over it! Oh wow! Black bricks! Time to head back and- you get the aggravating picture…

And you know, this wouldn’t be half a problem if at least playing as all the characters felt unique and fun in distinct ways, and yes, in a way they do, so you’d think tha- WELL THINK AGAIN BUCKO. Yoshi feels fine enough, the flutter jump is pretty useful but overall he’s severely limited compared to the rest of the cast; Mario is as he was in the original, only worse because of how everyone controls now, and actions before super cool are now borderline impossible; Wario is a gross parody of its own character, it makes sense for him to be the strong one that has the shortest jump, but for him to be so goddam slow and barely acrobatic make him a slog to control, especially when swimming, and just giving him a couple of bonuses instead of a moves like the shoulder-bash and the dash so to make him faster in exchange of being harder to control and making him similar to his Wario Land self is a huge missed opportunity; and then there’s Luigi who is… who is just fucking insane. His backflip makes many of the challenges completely inconsequential, that and other abilities like his run and floaty jump make him by far the best character to play as and makes the rest completely obsolete. Is this terrible balancing and turns the game into essentially Super Luigi 64 but not in a fun or charming way? Absolutely! Do I found this hilarious as hell and love that is Luigi the one that’s so broken? Absolutely!

But the worst part, even if it’s not the worst thing with the game itself, it’s how hellbent it is to just refuse to make changes to the base game. As I said, there are some very minor changes to the levels and stars turned into character specific missions, but that’s it. All the problems I has with the original game are still present here, mainly having to repeat entire sections for different missions, something that was not only left unchanged, but it even plagues the new levels as well… and in spite all of that… it’s still fun.

How. How does the plumber fucking do it. Super Mario 64 DS is by far my least favorite 3D Mario, is the one plagued with the most design flaws, and doesn’t quite reach the same highs as other games in this particular sub series… but it was still fun. It has bad stuff, but nothing I’ve said I would qualify it as terrible; there is still a fantastic game here, with flaws on top of it as well as new good stuff. As absurd as it sounds, maybe it’s a game that with a true remake it could be even greater that the game it remade in the first place, but right now it has too much stuff holding it back. Nevertheless, it’s a great time, and it’s attempt that does succeed in a bunch of things, and for that only it deserves my outmost respect.

Thank you so much for playing my game…

Now, let me tell you a story that ALSO begins with stardust...

If I had a nickel for every time a Nintendo developed game that originally was planned as a mere expansion or remix of a past game but ended up becoming a complete sequel, I'd had two nickels... which it isn't a lot, but this joke is tired and I lack originality and humor.

The discussion around Super Mario Galaxy 2 has always centered around one simple and obvious question: How does it compare to its predecessor? And I mean, it’s pretty clear why that is; never mind the fact that it’s a constant in any given series, including 3D Mario as a whole, but this is the only game to be a direct follow-up to a past game and setting, one of Super Mario Galaxy at that! Tho it’s worth saying that, even back then, a lot of people saw the more simplistic level design of Galaxy as a huge drawback for it, and the more in depth level-design of Galaxy 2 is seen as a blessing, and is the favorite of many out of the two on that reason alone. Still, there’s a great amount of people that keep seeing the first one as the superior game, and the main reason most we will give when explaining why tends to be the same, that being that Galaxy 2 lacks… THE SOUL.

The important thing I wanted to get out of this clusterfuck of ideas is that, personally, rather than asking the aforementioned question regarding Galaxy 2, I have my own question: … what even is this game? That is the query I had stuck in the back on my mind while playing, and to be honest, I don’t think I have a very fulfilling answer. You probably are thinking ‘’Deemon, you absolute mindless ameba, what are you even on about this time, this is a sequel to Galaxy, it has a two on the fucking box and it shares the same gameplay basis, you brain-dead donkey’’ and you’d be technically correct (tho it would be a really mean way to say it :( ), but… is it tho? Galaxy 2 was conceived more as an expansion than anything more, just a bunch of new levels using the pre-existing foundation established by Mario’s first space adventure, and it just so happened that it ended up getting so big that it justified turning into a full-blown game. And yes, Galaxy 2 does very much expect you to have played the previous game, a clear example is how the first boss of the game is both a call back to the first boss in Galaxy 1 and has a ton of parallel to the Bowser fights in those games, and the challenge is considerably higher in certain levels and bosses (even if the overall game is still pretty easy), but at the same time, this game very much seems like a different take on this same idea rather than a continuation. I think the story is a perfect reflection of what I mean by this: it acts as if the first voyage never really happened, the opening is leagues more light-hearted and even a little goofy, and until the very ending, the whole adventure lacks a sense of continuity, and in fact I’m pretty confident saying that this game references directly Super Mario 64 almost as much as it does for the previous game. This might seem unimportant or even petty to complain about, but I really think that is this contradiction what makes this game fail where Galaxy 1 went above and beyond; by wanting to craft an experience that any new player can pick up and enjoy without having even touched the previous adventure, but also wanting to make an experience that expands upon what said game proposed mechanically and making it more focused on gameplay for the older players, you get a pretty confused game that never seems to ever reach the same levels of wonder that it once did.

I mentioned before that some players argue that it lacks THE SOUL, but I don’t really agree with that notion. This game still has a ton of THE SOUL, it has an almost palpable personality, and each of the environments still feels distinct and full of life; the same passion on crafting a beautifully grandiose and silent and fun experience was put into this game, but it seems muffled: the soundtrack, while still fantastic, is a bit weaker and, dare I say it, more repetitive than the original, and I would have preferred it if it had more calm and quiet pieces; the main hub just doesn’t work for me, it’s interesting and pretty goofy, but you don’t get the same feeling of progression you got with the Comet Observatory, things and characters pop up without affecting the ship itself that much, and makes it so that I feel less invested on a space-ship that has the face of the main character plastered onto it; I also found hard to get really invested in some levels, especially when beginning the game, I just felt as if I was going by the motions, and the galaxies just felt like obstacle courses with random sky backgrounds rather than real places, like galaxies like Honeyhive Galaxy felt…

This things that made the original so special just aren’t like they once were anymore, there are attempts to re-capture that same magic, but most fall pretty flat; it’s clear that the game had its priorities and that plus the predicament it put itself in stopped it from re-capturing that magic this world once evoked. So… I’ve been actually surprisingly negative so far, so much in fact I have yet to say one single fully positive thing about Galaxy 2. Nothing of this of course destroys the game or anything like that, but it does move it into the realm of the more average platformer, kinda like the New series or 3D Land do… So like, what thing I have to say about this game that’s completely and utterly positive, if there even is?...







ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING FUCKING ELSE!

When I said that Galaxy 2 tumbled on what Galaxy did the best, I kinda forgot to say that sequel just kinda puts to shame its past iteration where this one kind of didn’t hit the mark; as I said, Galaxy 2 does not hit the same levels of wonder, but it does surpass every sense of fun and excitement in the moment to moment gameplay in a way Galaxy just couldn’t consistently do. Every galaxy, every star, every side challenge it’s just so well designed, so fun to play and go through, the more limited move-set of Mario (at least compared to previous 3D games) thrives in these levels and it’s just so fun to beat them both by normal methods or discovering its secrets and thing outside the box. The power-ups, OH DON’T GET ME STARTED IN THE POWER-UPS. Some, like the Fire Flower and the Bee Mushroom, return from the first game, but the new ones like the Drill, the Rock Mushroom and specially the Cloud Flower are probably the best additions Mario has ever seen to its arsenal; they all used to their fullest potential and every chance you get at using them is a treat; the drill complements the sphere shape of the planets like butter, the rock power-up adds a ton of fun destructive chaos that is highly appreciated, and cloud flower opens up the space of possibilities like never before; even if this may be the most linear out of the full-blown 3D Marios, it sure doesn’t feel like it while you play it. There’s also the side secret moons and the speedy comets, and while they are nothing that will blow your mind, the former are always a fun little distraction to discover while you discover the seemingly never ending waves of creative level-design, and the latter have seen a huge upgrade compared to their last appearance; they are now much more stream-lined and faster to complete, and I actually really wanted to beat as many of them as I could, and plus, the Comet Medals, while mostly easy to get, are a nice thing to grab and a fantastic way to incentivize 100% competition. The bosses are all just bangers; they defy the simplistic nature of the bosses from Galaxy, where they never really strayed off the simple routine of shaking the wii-mote at the right time or pointing at the right stuff, and here begin to introduce power-ups, more complex patterns and really aggressive movement; all of the Bowser Jr. fights are pure gold and a ton of fun, every time the little guy was involved in something, you can be certain a fantastic fight is coming up. Oh, I forgot, we also see Yoshi coming back to 3D and OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM. The funny dino is super fun to play around with, mastering its movement and the brand-new power-ups he can use it’s the most fun I’ve ever had controlling him, and it kinda makes me wish for a fully focused Yoshi 3D platformer, because if it were to be good as this, HOLLY FUCKING HELL.

Every single addition to the gameplay, every single new mechanic, every new idea, it all feels like it could be divided in at least another 2 sequels, but no, it’s all here, and it’s so, so fun. This is still Galaxy, and while I don’t still necessarily consider Galaxy 2 better than its pre-quel, it is a fantastic game on its own merits, ‘cause yes, this game it’s its own thing as much as it is a sequel. It’s impossible to only look it through only one of those lenses, and even tho it’s important to now where thos one faults where Galaxy shined so brightly, is equally as essential to know and remember that what this game has an objective: to be a joy to play, to be surprising, to be constantly a treat.

This is the first 3D platformer I ever played, even before the first game of the series, and even if I never finished, I had an indescribable amount of fun with it, and now, coming back to it so many years later and having experienced almost all of Mario’s 3D catalogue, the fact I felt the same fun and enthusiasm speaks volumes. It’s a tale that also begins with stardust, but the journey it’s so wonderfully different…

Pokémon White Version 2 ? More like, PEAKmon White Version 2!... Ok that one wasn't even funny I'm sorry...

White Version 2 is such an anomaly that I'm even surprised it even exists as it is; now-a-days, the concept of the ''Third Version'' of Pokémon games has completely disappeared, with the jump to 3D a ton of stuff began to change, so much so that for the sixth generation there wasn't any kind of third version, for the seventh we got the ''Ultra'' games, and now in the eighth and ninth generations, DLC has been the main focus for a way to add more content to the original games. There's a ton to be discussed about this topic, if the DLC's are worth it; if the extra editions, despite consistently being the definitive version of any given generation, were just another way to scoop more money out of mechanics and enhancements that should have already been on the base games, which were dual releases in the first place… whichever the case, one thing’s for sure: for the longest time, they have been constantly expected, and the expectations for the fifth generation were no different. I mean, c’mon, games called Black & White that also have a third dragon legendary that gas grey as the main color? It was clearer than water that sooner or later Pokémon Grey Edition was gonna appear on the shelves… except no…

…no it did not…

Well-over a year into the 3DS life-span and in an extremely surprising and different move (tho that’s kinda in brand for B&W as a whole), B2&W2 were released for the DS, and not only this was the first instance of a generation not having a having an upgraded version as we know it, but also it was the first and, so far, only instance of this franchise having a direct sequel that takes place in the same region. It’s clear that despite the initial controversies among some fans with the original games, the team at Game Freak loved the original Black and White games as much as people (such as myself) do to this day; in several interviews and even in a ‘’Iwata Asks’’, game’s director Takao Unno mentioned the desire within the team to expand further in certain characters and the regions, keep pushing forward the themes of battle of ideals the the original entry stablished, as well as to explore new mechanics within the same world and Unova’s lay-out. Even form its very conception, B2&W2 was conceptualized as anything but a simple repeat of the original, but I also think that calling a more complex remix would also be a disservice, and it’s far more than just a simple follow-up.

Two years have passed in-game and between releases, and it very much shows; while yes, the region of Unova hasn’t seen much big changes, every city is still were it once was and pretty much unchanged from two years ago, we traverse a lot of locations never before seen: from bran new places like Virbank City and its complex, the not so far-off Pokéwood, or even routes that has seen complete revamps, like route 4 turning into a small apartment complex in Black 2 or the results of an archeological excavation in White 2, which not only are some rad differences to have between versions than just some changes of gym leader, but also reflects perfectly on the ideas of duality that these games strive to make the center off. Both past and new locations feel alive and vibrant, and there’s arguably much more variety in the design of the cites and sub-areas here than there it ever was in the original game. The way you traverse the games is also much more refreshing compared to the original game: not only there are a ton more of de-tours in before known places, like seeking Team Plasma in Castelia City’s sewers, which were inaccessible before, but also, while the game is fairly linear, you jump constantly from area to area, and half way through the game you take a plane that takes you to the routes that were once just post-game content, and they are much more expanded and lead to never seen before places, both before and after the league. Some characters also sport brand new looks and teams; both Cheren and Bianca feel a ton more mature and experienced than their younger, more insecure and reckless selves from B&W, and they are a perfect showcase of how much the events of the original game and the 2 years that have gone by have affected them and the entire region; even the gym leaders, while they do leave much less of an impact and don’t have as much of a presence as they did in the original, are still by far the best in the series, sporting new teams, their proudness in showcasing the progress of the region (Like Clay and his beloved Pokémon World Tournament), some even having new looks and gyms, and some of them just retiring, leaving the mantel of gym leader to new aspiring trainers in different places. It’ all just so… natural, the passage of time is communicated incredibly well and makes traversing this brand new Unova so compelling and exciting to discover, and be soaked on its mystique.

Visually and sound-wise is still the same ten out of ten as it was once; the new music is great as ever, but much of the graphics and songs are lifted from its predecessor, and while yes, they are still fantastic, I think that’s more of a victory of the original Black & White than of these games (and believe me, I’ll also talk about those in the future). What was also a victory of the past games was the simply impeccable narrative. B&W explored what it meant to a Pokémon trainer, questioned the grounds for what the series stands for, and crafted a evil team that, while ultimately was head-speared by a disgusting megalomaniac that sought control of the region under the façade of a good ‘cause and manipulated the entire region creating basically a cult for the leader (I really need to get into Ghetsis in the future), the cause of N was and still is well-spirited, a movement that seeks to help the Pokémon and that, to this day, is brought back time and time again in the series as a talking point. B&W questioned itself, and it didn’t take the cowards way out by simply saying that all of Team Plasma was wrong; N truly had a point, and B2&W2 biggest narrative strength is the exploration of one simple question: What happens next? While it was easy to englobe all of B&W’s themes under the fight between different beliefs (or truth and ideals, as the games puts it) and how there are certain things that shouldn’t be looked at through a black or white lenses, B2&W2 are not as easy. Ironically, despite being still being called Black & White, the game does for sure lean into that grey territory; aside of the Plasma and the Rival’s storyline, many of the characters don’t have much conflict, not even the returning N; some characters like Colress bring the interesting perspective of extreme pragmatism and how that inevitably leads people to be closed off from possible positive ideals and ultimately fall into the exact violence and coldness they seem to be against (Funnily enough, is in Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon where Acromo gets a really cool ending to his character arch, so I really recommend checking it out if you like his character) and the rival does have a cool arch of leaving behind wrathful vengeance in exchange for compassion and it’s probably one of the most underrated rivals in the series; but the game as a whole doesn’t really center on those topics. Instead here’s this feeling of… resolve, of hope, and despite the past coming back more violent than ever, the people and Pokémon of Unova are more united than ever, and this inner peace and ravenous excitement for the tomorrow can be seen in the champions of the region, both old and new.

It is an interesting perfective to take in the sequels, even if ultimately it isn’t as compelling or gripping as the previous game was; it’s for sure a more celebratory and optimistic take, and it’s warranted considering the ending of the past adventure, but it doesn’t stop it from feeling less grounded, and more akin to what you would encounter in a ‘’normal’’ Pokémon game. The Team Plasma stuff is clearly the winner of the whole narrative department tho; even if at a glance it looks like they ‘’rocketized’’ the Plasma fellows, I actually adore this direction for them; the division of those who follow N and those who follow Ghetsis, with two of the old sages at the front of each, Roof and Zinzolin, it’s the true reason this game is still called Black &White. A division of those who seek atonement for their past mistakes and truly want to help Pokémon, and those who still follow their deplorable excuse for a leader, who now only want to use strength and fear to reach their end, who embrace foolishness and ignorance. It’s so, so fucking compelling, not only it’s the expected outcome since it’s clear some of the past Plasma members would realize their errors and Ghetsis is a petty piece of shit that would inevitably come back, but it’s also just so satisfying to see a brighter future for truly altruistic people, as well as to kick the asses of the Neo Team Plasma and destroy the madman’s aspirations once again. It’s a return to the more classic formula of the Evil Team, but one that works wonderfully, and makes me wish that the game had explored it even more and put the main focus into this division once again, but do not mistake my disappointment in certain regards by disgust; B2&W2 are still fantastic games, probably the ones with the most interesting content, the most interesting Pokémon variety and balancing, and even if I ultimately prefer the originals, they are still a monumental achievement for the series, and even if they back-pedal in certain aspects and I’m not really fond of certain major and minor battles compared to the originals, I don’t think there will be any other game in the main series that reaches this level of pure personality and fulfillment….


The memories I have with this game are as strong as with the originals, and I revisit this game, way, way more simply because of the fun of team building, doing stuff in it and just… taking it in, taking it slow, enjoying the music, the views and the pixelated beauty of it all. Each new change, be it aesthetic, narrative or even in the gameplay department (the Hidden Grottos and the new revamped learn-sets are two fantastic additions that come to mind) showcase just how hellbent the team was on crafting the best fifth gen experience possible, and even if I still believe that it doesn’t quite reach the same highs as its pre-quels, B2W2 is a swansong, and even if it’s up to each if the series never reached the same highs as it did here, it’s for sure that the team left the DS with on a spectacular note.


Man, fuck a possible remake of the original, give us B3&W3 or a Legends: Kyurem/Victini! Give us kino, Game Freak!

WE MAKING IT OUT THE POND WITH THIS ONE 🔥🔥🔥🔥 🗣🗣

Most of Sega's catalogue is completely alien to me, I do know of the funny Yakuza men dancing and the monkey ballin, but I've never really actually played any of their franchises, aside the games of a certain fast blue mammal, of course. So I think it's about time that I expanded my horizons, picked a rod, a hat with questionable quotes, and basked on the glory of the act of bassing. And mean, even the game told me to ''enjoy the fishing'', and it was no simple request or kind-spirited wish... it was a demand.

Sega Bass Fishing is a very special case, because in one hand it's just is what it is: a bass fishing simulator with a very ''arcadie'' style and design. And in the other hand, is a game with borderline manic energy; it injects every action this kind of irreplaceable style, and makes you excited over even getting new types of get (Worm bait my beloved). The visuals are actually extremely pleasant and good-looking and the music just goes fucking nuts; one moment you are peacefully fishing in a calmed dock, the other you are in a seemingly haunted palace with the scariest bass you'll meet in your fucking life. I may sound surprised, like I was just expecting a mediocre fishing simulator or just shovelwhare, and I really wasn't, is just that this game goes bananas over everything that it can possibly do and I love it.

The gameplay also surprised me; while not exactly my cup of tea and it does feel a bit unresponsive and repetitive, it does spice things to make the act of reeling actually pretty involved, and hey, putting to use my Big the Cat story skills was nice. Fish AND frogs fear me.

I know that having the fishing controller for this would make the best thing humanity has ever conceived and the absolute GOTY of eternity and beyond, but as of now, Sega Bass Fishing is definitively a rad game; it LOVES being what it is, either a small tourney run to be the very best fisher in the world, a small arcade adventure that ends with you catching the biggest fish possible, or just a peaceful, relaxing little distraction. It's more than just a meme, it's fucking Sega Bass Fishing, baby.

Oh, and this site has officially become the High Rank Bass Fishing Club (patent pending), so I would like to ask those who aren't rank one on the arcade mode to leave as soon as possible, thank you very much and have a nice fishing.

''Never forget...''

I technically never really grew up with Explorers of Sky but rather with the original dual release version, Explorers of Time/Darkness , tho funnily enough, I can't really recall which one of the two it was exactly; what I do recall without even an ounce of effort, is the things I felt while playing it all those years back. It was one of the first times my younger self cared to pay attention to the dialogue of a game, one of the first times I was enthralled by the music and visuals of... well, anything ever; and the excitement I felt over new story beats and at the gameplay reached absurd points. However, I couldn't explain why the game had such an effect on me, plus I never got to beat it (got stuck at one of the boss fights... still have traumas over that) so it's not like I ever got a definitive conclusion to the story, nor a resolution to the feelings I had with the game.

And so, I left behind the game, and the only thing left were the good memories of it without really being able to explain why I liked it. Many years later, I was able to get a copy of Explorers of Sky for cheap (or at least, cheap compared to what it normally goes for), and not so long ago I finally beatBlue Rescue Team and delved in how, despite being a fun Dungeon Crawler RPG and having a brand new interesting take on the franchise, it was a deeply flawed one, with hiccups in the gameplay front, but especially in the narrative department, and that affected the enjoyment the moment to moment rescuing and exploring.

Many moons have passed, experienced has been gained and my views on games and the media as a whole have matured since I picked that DS for the first time (or at least I like to think that they have, if only a little bit), so now, the most expected thing is that I’d know to pin-point what did I exactly like so much about this game, or even that my opinions on it would sour a bit after coming back to it and reaching the end…

… but this one has a Croagunk with a big-ass cauldron, so that automatically makes it the best game in the entire franchise.

’’A future worth fighting for’’

It’s almost scary how good Explorers of the Sky builds on top of what was already established while also creating its own whole identity, and it’s doubly impressive when taking into account how much it borrows from the previous installment: the dungeon-traversing gameplay has seen little to none changes; everything that can be found in Treasure Town, from the shops to the dojo, are lifted straight up from the original Rescue Team games, with the only thing changes being some of the Pokémon at the front of these stores as well as one or two new shacks for two new mechanics, the eggs and the chests; the game retains the same chapter by chapter structure of its predecessor, and practically all of the bulletin board missions types are ones brought from the past entry. This is much more than taking just base or general the idea of a past game, most of Explorers is pretty much a direct follow up of every concept that the franchise stablished in its inception, and that should mean that it should carry the problems Blue/Red Rescue Team had that I previously described, or at the very least it should feel derivative, but I think it’s pretty clear where I’m going with this.

Thanks to a lot of systems being stream-lined or more options being given, mainly the whole territory buying to get new team members being COMPLETELY removed and the introduction of the Spinda Café to make the CI leveling process a lot more easier as well as to introduce a way to recycle items, the pacing of the game is made WAYYYY faster both in and out of dungeons, while also incrementing the amount of strategizing needed; while I’ve lost way less times than in Rescue Team and I’ve even won some battles that the game doesn’t expect you to normally beat, main battles in those previous games felt extremely repetitive. You don’t really come up with new ideas on the flying or plan ahead for what’s coming next; your response to the boss encounters doesn’t really differ from one another, and you are not rewarded from exploring outside of the box using different items; you just go headfirst into danger, throw some sleeping items and prey to god it works. The boss battles in Explorers work completely different, not only there’s more variety in the Pokémon you fight and even in the way they are organized, but the amount of seeds at your disposal as well as the new move-sets make strategy building on the fly some of the most fun I’ve had in the entire series. This even applies, at least to a certain extent, to the normal floor battles; even if most of the encounters are usually pretty easy and the difficulty comes mainly from your own resource management, half-way though the game some dungeons start to REALLY ramp up in difficulty, and even some of the normal enemy Pokémon start becoming a problem. You even need to take into account the weather present in some cases and considering changing it, and while I don’t have a exact way to confirm this, I’m pretty sure that the possibility of encountering monster houses has been raised considerably, and I actually like this! It gives spheres even more reasons to be used and show that sometimes a direct confrontation doesn’t really have to be the way forward, teaching indirectly even more ways to strategize and introducing a risk reward aspect into the game, since they usually have a ton of good items in them … But no yeah Monster Houses are still dumb. The fact the ladder or even you can spawn in one of them only creates artificial difficulty, and it’s alongside the randomness of the traps and the impossibility of using spheres in boss battles the only things I REALLY don’t like about the game (tho I understand why the latter is the way it is, even if I believe it would make sense to be able all the tools at your disposal in the major battles, specially the ones with multiple enemies). I also wanted to mention how the introduction of Wigglytuff’s guild is just… so fucking good. Having a main hub area related to the main story, our characters arc and that expands the story behind certain Pokémon and the rescue teams is one fantastic thing, but also be it one that makes so much sense with the setting, simplifies a ton of the mission systems, and also introduces a whole new minigame it’s just pure gold… tho I could have gone the rest of life without knowing the shape of Nidoking’s feet, that wasn’t really necessary…

Make no mistake, if the gameplay is so good in this game, it’s only because it was good in the first place; these changes aren’t revolutionary, but they do improve and strengthen a system that was already fantastic in the first place, making it more rewarding than it ever was. Explorers is a sequel after all, one that seeks to enhance everything that could have been enhanced, and that includes a certain something that, not in a million years, could I ever had seen coming.

Not in this way. Not like this.

’’A story that had to be told’’

Explorers of Sky is a culmination. No, I’m not talking about a culmination of Time/Darkness, which it is, but that’s not what I’m referring to. Back when I beat Blue Rescue Team, I left with this deeply sour taste in my mouth, I had enjoyed what I played, yes, and there were some stellar moments, but a ton of it’s potential was squandered for the shake of telling a flashier, less intricated plot. And hey, looking back maybe I was a bit too mean, maybe that was exactly the story they wanted to tell; a story that touched on some interesting themes but ultimately was just an excuse to live a couple of fun adventures and battle some cool looking Pokémon, maybe I just had my expectations misplaced and was just too overly critical to a story that didn’t deserve even if it did affect the gameplay… or maybe I knew a glimpse of what would come next.

If I already praised Blue Rescue Team for its fantastic visuals and music, then I don’t know what I’d need to do to express how Explorers goes above all and beyond everything I thought was good about the original game; I think I’m exaggerating when I say this is probably the best original pixel-art in any DS RPG along side the one in Bowser’s Inside Story. Every single scenery on here is worth putting on a portrait, hell, singular stones have more detail than entire games in the franchise. The beautiful close-ups and scenes that happen and certain moments, like watching a myriad of bug Pokémon flying around a tower of water, or contemplating the sunset on top of a cliff with an impossible shape, plus the fantastic use of the dual screens not to enhance gameplay, but to improve certain moments and cutscenes are such fantastic details that I cannot do nothing but smile when simply thinking about it. Add on top of that an amazing minimalistic sound design and probably the best OST in the entire franchise and DS catalogue along with the fifth-generation games… and I don’t really know what more to tell you, man.

This moments, no, everything I’ve said about the game, it’s pretty good on their own right, and they are impressive by any game standard, but what makes me absolutely adore them, what makes me gush and appreciate them even more, it’s how every single occurrence, behind every single event, a story is taking place. Blue Rescue Team took the story as more of a excuse to present harder challenges than normal and introduce certain concepts, and as such a lot of the duration of the game was taken by missions that didn’t really amount to anything in the great scheme of things. Explorers has, let’s just say, a different philosophy on this. The world is no mere back-drop for cool things to happen, every single location has a place, every single event, every step we take amounts to something; the few moments things stop for a minute feel genuine and add the sensation that time needs to pass for certain characters to do their thing, but it’s never too long before everything’s back in action. The world is filled with fantastic characters and I adore them all, even the stinky ones that I’m supposed to hate, I love every single one of them. They all have their moment to shine, their own unique aspirations, even their own fears and weaknesses, and even when you expect certain plot-points to happen, there’s far more depth behind the curtain. The episodic format does nothing but wonders for this, not only because it allows to have an overarching plot while introducing sub-stories in a cohesive way, but it gives more room for every single critter to breath and have their own moment, couple that with the extra episodes in Explorers of Sky that dig deep into certain characters past and even future, and we have an experience that only gets stronger as it goes on.

I felt genuine emotion for the events that happened, specially the ones close to the end: the wrath, the sadness and the happiness are contagious because of how well everything is laid down and accompanied by the fantastic music, and whereas, in the first game, I felt like the companion or the main betraying bad guy were just a shadow of they could have been, these are it, these are what they seemed to want to be since the beginning. I understand why so many people adore Grovyle, I adore Wigglytuf’s comedic relief, I loved every single mon at the Guild (yes, even you, Chatot, you deserve a hug), and I’m fascinated by the main character’s arc, I didn’t think that I could care about my Piplup self and my Vulpix companion this much, but I do, I really do, and it saddened me struggle and made me happy to see them overcome the challenges. And these characters being put in this setting, a setting that I didn’t think could be even done this exceptionally by a Pokémon game, a story that touches on overcoming personal flaws and anxieties, and culminates on the inevitability on saying goodbyes to your loved ones, even if it hurts.. and it does fucking hurt, and I love that it does.

''I’ll never forget you’’

Explorers of Sky wasn’t made by another team wanting to make a different take on this idea, it was the same team at Chunsoft that worked in the original games, even the writers, Shin-ichiro Tomie and Emiko Tanaka, to the artist and composers, are the same for both entries; and it’s in that moment you realize that all these people cared beyond belief, cared to tell a fantastic, cohesive narrative, a beautiful story about fate and fear, darkness and time, love and courage, of despair and hope.

Like a perfect dance, everything flows magically, and the experience it’s only that even to this day it’s hard to describe. It’s not flawless, mind you, but it’s absolutely fantatic, and it’s hard to find just the right words to define such an experience, an experience that feels so right and hits all the right notes in both gameplay and narrative. An experience that truly broke the bounds of the series and changed the minds of millions on what these little silly animals could tell though a story and its themes, and that transcended and became not only a good Pokémon spin-off game, but a fantastic game by its own and a highlight of entire franchise. An experience that, like all dances, sadly ends, even if there’s more adventures to be had, and I’ll surely have, but for now, and at the risk of repeating myself, I really recommend Explorers of the Sky; I’ve tried really hard to not spoil concrete plot-beats and only talk about the themes and strengths of the game, ‘cause I believe this a game worth playing blind, a experience worth discovering… worth exploring.

’’…farewell…’’

There are some faces I will never forget, be it loved ones, some characters from audiovisual works of art that I love... or that weirdo from LCD, Please with hair growing out of their ears.

I hold the original Papers, Please in very high regards for a myriad of reasons, and its a game deserving of its own full review that I need to write sometime in the future, but for now, just know that yes, to my eyes it's fantastically designed game in both its routine based gameplay and how it makes you question to if it's worth to put your morals at the front of the actions you make in the cold walls of Arstotzka's border checkpoint even if it's at cost of your and your family's survival. It's a work that tackles a ton of really interesting themes, and many of people over here far more intelligent than I have already touched upon them, and I invite you to give the reviews on it a read.

So now the thing many of you will be wondering is a pretty understandable question:.. How the fuck to you fit all that on system that's essentially a calculator that plays Donkey Kong? Simple! You don't!

LCD, Please isn't a brand new take of a past concept made out of a desire to explore the themes of Papers, Please from a brand new perspective and limitations, it's a fun little project born as a celebration of the 10th anniversary of the original game (each day that passes I'm closer to turn into dust and crumble) , as a love letter to the LCD systems which Lucas Pope (Developer of Papers, Please ) grew up with and as a self-imposed challenged to see if he could even pull it of. This all means, of course, that LCD, Please compromises a TON, it turns the original ideas into an absurd caricature and the high score based gameplay feels... weird, in a way. It's Papers, Please at its most basic, without all the nuance that made it interesting and without the grounded setting that made its routine more impactful, and I think the best example of all of this is that Arstotzka's citizens can be an option in the pool of which immigrants can be banned from entering the state... in the Arstotzka border.

LCD, Please inevitably falls a flat when looked from a perspective akin to the one you would look at its older brother, but that's because that's just not the point of its existence. It's a dumb, almost adorable joke that feels like a genuine passion project and casual celebration of a monument of a indie game that manages to be simple fun. To be honest, the best part about it, apart from it just simply existing, was reading the log from Lucas Poper commenting on the development, you can read it right here and I can't recommend it enough, a really insightful read that made me appreciate every little design decision even more.

A toast, for another 10 years of Papers, Please, can't wait for Virtual Boy, Please in 2033!

I can't even bring myself to make a joke calling this game bad because there's no ape cube, because we've gotten something better instead... ROBO APE.

Good luck!

It’s complicated to talk about 64 3D for many different reasons; for one, it’s the remake of a beloved classic that, even if still faithful, adds and changes enough stuff to make it far more than a simple port or graphical update, and as such I have to see it both as the original on rail shooter that released for the Nintendo 64 and as a product that aspires to improve it, and doing both things is a doozy, specially for a fella such as myself. But that’s not all, ‘cause I also run the risk of repeating myself, Star Fox 64 is the culmination of a game that released 4 years prior to it and of the sequel that never released until very recently, it follows most of the game design philosophies as its original predecessor did, and that something that’s even reflected on the story, being a re-telling of that said first adventure. It didn’t revolutionize the formula, it didn’t reinvent the wheel, it just did more of the same but with more polygons and a better framerate. So, how do I talk about a game that just does more of the same without reiterating what me and so many others have said about the original game, and more importantly, does 64 really have value on its own?..


Of fucking course it does, did yo- did you really doubt it? Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!

Star Fox 64 feels like the exact game the team wanted to make from the very beginning, and it takes every idea that was pre-established in the past games, both un-released and released, and kicks them up a notch to the point every positive thing I once said about the past games is doubled in quality. Sure, there are still some things that don’t have the polish that they could have gotten: free flying is still a bit unreliable and it makes the battles against Star Wolf pretty darn frustrating, plus some power ups can feel a bit inconsequential and some attacks from certain bosses don’t feel telegraphed enough and can be pretty confusing to dodge, but the negatives I may have pale in comparison to the positives. The once otherworldly war that the first game put us on now turns in a galaxy wide conflict against the mechanical and rusty nightmares of Andross, and the sheer scale of the levels and enemies, plus some additions of this 3D version in regards to the presentation, make the feeling of racing against the clock grander than ever before; this a conflict that is corrupting and desolating very corner of the galaxy, and be it an attack on the capital, an enemy train sending bombs to the enemy line for them to use, or a star that has been corrupted by the evil scientist, is as terrifyingly destructive as it is fun, and it all bends together in making these phases the best of the series by far, as well as the most environmentally and narratively rich game in the franchise. Replayability is also the best it’s ever been, we still have s ton of possible routes to take, each different on their own way; each planet or asteroid field is its own world in every possible way, and I’ve never had the urge to explore and re-play a game so badly in a long time, I was happy even when I lost my first run, ‘cause that meant I’d see another planets and interactions, and that made losing more than worth it. Your team has also seen a huge upgrade, not so much because they are more competent, they are still their usual useless selves and having to save their asses constantly can be a bit tiring, but it’s all worth it when they all are so damn charming and have actual use beyond normal combat; Falcon’s witty and critical attitude can lead to amazing interactions with enemies and bosses, and having Slippy or not in the team will mark the difference between being able to see the boss’ health bar or not. The dialogue, the visual spectacle, the bosses, the music… This is Star Fox in a whole another level, and the 3D remaking makes it nothing but even more incredible.

If the original 64 was already praised for looking pretty good, 64 3D takes it to a whole other galaxy. It's not so much that the visual aspect is astonishing, tho it's an upgrade for sure, but that just the style and even the scale are so much grander, and it nails that Star Wars feeling in the best of ways, it’s like playing a movie or chapters of a TV space show. To my understanding, a lot of people didn’t really like the new voices and dialogue changes, but I can’t really speak for that since I played it with the brand new Spanish voices, which to my liking are fantastic, so hey, a soul for a soul I guess, specially considering is in even more languages.

Star Fox 64 3D and, for that matter, Star Fox 64 are, while still not perfect, the peak of the series, reaching bounds higher than I could have imagined and it was a ton of fun. It’s prove that you don’t always need breaking new ideas to make a fantastic sequel, you just need passion, good ideas and know where to expand and perfectionate on what was what established, a lesson that, funnily enough, this same series would end up forgetting not that long after…

Also, fun fact that nobody but me cares about, but turns out that the Spanish voice actor for Fox is the same actor that gives voice to… sigh… Sonic… It’s official, I cannot escape the blue rat. I’m too slow.

The Greek tragedy of this game is that, even in the European version with its coveted extra letter, at least one of the Wisps' colors isn't represented in the title, as a the only member of the Wisps Protection and Petting Group, this is unacceptable and the game immediately gets a 0/10 on that alone... but oh well, might as well talk about the game itself.

You might be wondering why I would play Colors as my next Sonic game after Adventure, why instead of jumping into Adventure 2 or at the very least Unleashed, the game that started the so-called the ‘’Boost’’ formula, I skipped over all of them and went directly into the funny alien game, and the reason is quite simple really; I’ve talked about my hedgehog related experiences every time I’ve reviewed one of the game in the series, but one fact I negated to mention is that Colors was the first game I ever touched that had the cocky bastard in it (aside of Smash Bros Brawl, that is).

This blue motherfucker really has some special charm, because it captivated my small dumb kid brain when I saw it for the first time in a Sonic X episode (the best first impression I could have gotten to be honest ), and after that, I knew that I NEEDED to play one of his games, and lo and behold, turs out there’s a brand-new shiny game coming out a month before Christmas! The time was right, the stars had aligned and I just had to reach for them; I asked for the game as a present for the holiday and on 25th morning it was there, I opened the box, put the disc in my Wii, watched that beautiful cinematic that sparked my imagination and to this day I feel nostalgic about, at last I started playing and…AND… I sucked ass.

So, yeah, remember back in my Sonic 2 review when I said that I sucked at Sonic games? Well, that fact became pretty much apparent to me the very first time I even touched Colors, and alas, I never got past Sweet Mountain. And so, finally returning after so many years to it and finishing feels… weird, not because I’ve gotten better or anything like that, I’m still terrible and got many Game Overs because of my own stupidity, but because coming back, even if it brought back the memories of pure excitement from all those years ago and I actually got to fully appreciate aspects of the game I couldn’t consider until now, made me realize how deeply flawed Colors is from the very get goes, and how it’s a work with both incredible ideas as well as misguided ones.

But I do want to start things positively because the high points of Colors are indeed VERY high. The title doesn’t lie, it really does have some pretty colors, and even if I admit that while I playing I had the small thought of wishing there was some kind of HD version to play, the game moves around the Wii’s limitations incredibly well while not sacrificing any aspect of the visual spectacle. Eggman’s interplanetary theme park is probably the most creative and out-there idea that the series had until that point and it goes nuts with it, it feels like these worlds were either handcrafted by the mad doctor himself or deeply twisted by him, and the result is some incredibly varied worlds that manage to convey that idea of artificiality while still looking really good. Plantet Wisp and Asteroid Coaster are two fantastic examples for different reasons, and even if I wish the artificiality aspect backed off a little in the level design itself (we’ll get to that) I can’t deny in any way that Colors has an amazing setting that it uses to its fulles potential. And also… look, I think the only universally agreed thing about the series is that the music is consistently amazing, and that’s for a reason, but the music in Colors is just on another freacking level. No matter the act, no matter the world, each and every single song in the OST is an absolute banger, be it the fantastic main theme that is Reach for the Stars, the pure magic of Planet Wisp: Act 1, or every single of the boss fight themes specially both of the final boss themes. It also worth mentioning that the sound mixing and design is spectacular, it gives to every action a ton of feedback and when the music changes because of the boost or the Wisps not only it doesn’t feel jarring at all, but it adds a whole other layer to the experience, and speaking of which…

To my knowledge, the Wisps are a point of contention while talking about this game, and a lot of people actually really dislike them, citing that not only they gatekeep abilities that Sonic once had without needing then, but they also break the pace of the levels making you constantly stop just to use them, and here’s the thing, I do agree with both of those notions to a certain extent… but I still actually really like them! Even ignoring their fantastic and lovable designs, I really like what they add from a power-up perspective, each Wisp has its own way to interact with the level, and having one or not and using it correctly may be difference that decides if you get to see certain secrets or even beat bosses faster. I love that the White Wisp serves as an in-game universe explanation of the Boost mechanic, I love how the Cian Wisp can be used as an interesting fast travel tool, I love the sheer power and speed that both Nega Wisp and Yellow Wisp give and that grant the ability to reach places otherwise inaccessible… Even the Pink and Green Wisp, both who had abilities once normal to Sonic’s move-set, like the spin dash or the light dash, are still really fun to use because they open paths that use the abilities to their fullest potential and they have unique abilities of their own, like the spikes and the hovering. To be completely honest, the other one I didn’t like was… and it pains me to say this… the c u b e. I mean, LOOK AT THEM, I LOVE THEM, WHY DOES THEIR POWER HAVE TO SUCK SO BAD. However, even if I really like the Wisp and I am willing to sacrifice momentum in the levels for the sake of them giving more variety, I’ll be the fist to admit that I do not fully understand why they had to be unlockable and making red rings (the collectables in this game) unobtainable until you get them. It’s really odd to block the possibility of 100% completion until the final levels of the game, and makes it so a lot of the Acts have to played at least twice to get everything (not that they are very long either way, but still). I honestly don’t know what would have been better, if levels should have been designed with a normal progression like any other normal platformer, or if Wisps should have been permanent upgrades that you can use and change rather than be stationary power ups, tho I guess that last one would have broken a ton of levels and would have proven to be very difficult to implement considering the Wii Mote’s restrictions. But to be completely sincere, I wish that was the only problem that Colors had related to its levels and structure, because then this song and dance wouldn’t need to be as negative as is about to get.


They really tried to reach for the stars, only to get lost floating in space; six full-blown words with 6 unique acts and a boss each (plus the final zone and boss and some extra modes and goodies) becomes a much less impressive prospect when not only so much level design is almost completely recycled from past acts and when the quality of the levels themselves is so over the place. I have to ask if the team maybe wanted to implement some kind of remix levels, backed off, and ended up using what they had as normal levels to give the base game more content, because as it stands I couldn’t scratch off the feeling of Déjà Vu when playing a lot of these levels, like I’m merely repeating actions I just did on a past Act beat by beat, and honestly I don’t know why I’m complaining because that it’s at least better than the FUCKING SPRING LEVELS GAAAAAAAAAAH- sorry, I just had a bit of PTSD there. Look, there are a ton of fantastic Acts here, the first one in every world tends to be fantastic and then there are always some others that rival it in quality on the same world, and the 3D sections are consistently tolerable, but… will you cut it out with the 2D sections man?! It’s become a meme at this point that Colors is a 2D game as much as it is a 3D one, and honestly, I personally wouldn’t have had any problem with it, but it is in those sections where the pacing truly halts to a crawl, where the game wants to turn into a slower more precise platformer when this Sonic isn’t just designed for that; jumps feels floaty and trying to control this fucking mammal while he is on the air has brought a lot of pain to my poor feeble mind, in fact is these sections that make the Blue Wisp my least favorite, the idea of the power-up is fine, it’s just that every time I use it I have to put up with controls that make me want to break my own spine. The key word, I think, is ‘’limitation’’, there are a ton of limits of what you can and can’t do, levels ask you to beat them in a particular way, and that’s a problem when that particular way is so slow, unfun and infuriating. Even when I take into account all of the deaths that happened because I suck so bad, I just can’t think of a ton of levels that feel particularly amazingly designed or are that fun, and most of them (once again, specially on the 2D sections) sharing what I can only describe like a ‘’level-editor feeling’’ doesn’t help matters either. Some sections feel solely as obstacle courses, and when those obstacle courses don’t have many different paths and clash so hard with the 3D more natural parts, it becomes so jarring and made already unfun parts even more repetitive and dreadful to go through.

It's like that, despite having really good ideas in both concept and execution, the team really didn’t care for certain sections of aspects, like they tried stuff out because they wanted to without really considering if it would be fun overall, like if some of the stuff was a joke… like the stORY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Listen, listen, I adore of a more simplistic Sonic story with Saturday morning cartoon comedy and feeling, I really do, I think it can be a fantastic idea and can be a ton of fun… to bad here is goddam atrocious. I wanted to enjoy this story so hard, but when the cinematics are so weirdly paced and animated, when the dialogue makes me want to tape the characters mouths, when some of the jokes are so close at being funny but the timing just screws up everything, when others are just so painfully unfunny, and when everything is just filled with goofy a$$ sounds that undermined key story moments, I just have to ask… did they wanted me to care? Again, if they didn’t then fine, but there are actual stakes here, and the final boss and end are too grand for a story that just doesn’t deserve it, and unlike Toodee and Topdee where something similar happened, I can’t say that the poor story is a great parallel of the poor gameplay, because I really meant, Sonic Colors as flawed as it is, it’s far from terrible, hell it isn’t even bad, but it left me really, REALLY confused.

Here we have a game that tried to pull out all of the stops while seemingly being to coward to fully embrace itself, a game that feels grand but it has a ton of re-used material, a game that stives to experiment while leaving so much of its ideas not half baked, but just broken or without consideration if they would fit with the other pieces. Colors has fantastic moments and I had my fun with it, it stressed me to hell and back and I think the word part about it is that I simply can’t left it with a nice conclusion that ties it all up. Is not as much of a mess as other games, but it is a mess in its own special way, and while I perhaps dislike it more than others would and do, the positives do look so bright and feel so right…

Also, I’m accepting signs and newcomers for the Wisps Protection and Petting Group, you can send you applications to [REDACTED] and you’ll be in petting Wisp duty in no time!... except petting the blue one. I’m only allowed to pet those. No, I will not be accepting protests.

Videogames and war have had a... problematic relationship, at least from an outside perspective, to say the least. The amount of self-nominated ''anti-war''' USA filmography saw a huge influx during the 70's and 80's, and while there's a strong argument to be had about if most films or even ANY film can truly distance itself from the celebration inherent to violence that comes with even justifying these horrors or showcasing why certain conflicts begin in general, it's still a huge departure from the shameless propagandistic nature of the war films of the beginning of the century. Few are the videogames that have strayed away from glorification, and I believe that it has only gotten worse as decades pass. There is a humongous problem when one of, if the biggest gaming franchise has had the on-going support and sponsorship of the official American Military and many of its storylines aren't ashamed of being openly pro-interventionism and defend the American and western imperialism, but if Call of Duty was the only problematic franchise of this nature existing, it would be heaven compared to what we truly have now.

If you enjoy Call of Duty or Battlefield or any series that shares any of that common DNA, I have absolutely zero problems, and I’m sure that a lot of the games can be great and a ton of fun especially considering the multiplayer aspect, I’m no crazy politician claiming that videogames are the root of all evil and shaming and pointing those that enjoy it (Tho you’d be pressed to find any depute on the parliament that criticizes these series in the same way I do), but what I do point out is a clear endemic problems that only glorifies institutional violence more and more: the army are the good guys protecting us from these evil foreign forces, those are the ones we point to, war is only taken at face value, as an act of shooting down faceless bad guys, another process of dehumanization of humanity, and that’s scarier than any parent that thinks that Pokémon is the devil could ever conceive. But what other thing do you even do? What could you do? Attempts at deconstructing these notions result in either poor player base perception or a series of missteps that in some cases make the game send the total opposite message, so is it even worth it? Is even conceivable to try and deconstruct war in any capacity? Is such thing as an Anti-war game even possible?

Mémoire 0079 is a text based game that initially feels like exploring like reading a wiki or a series of articles; reading the initial article is impossible to get excited at the idea of being transported to a futuristic Earth and the war waging against an Empire formed in the other colonies located beyond the orbit and the stars, at the front of it all the greatest hero of all, Vega Hawthorn who gave her life riding her mech, the Mark I, to get revenge at the Empire and the evil murderers of her mother. It’s a space epic that has it all, a hero, a villain, a setting, a motivation, it’s too good to be true!.. too good to be true…

It didn’t really feel cool anymore.

I was just scared


The rabbit hole only gets deeper and deeper as you read, and incessant number of forever unsewered questions, of dirty secretes that none were supposed to find open partially to you, and even with names lost to time and passages censored beyond reparation, the curtain opens and opens until it finally breaks down; what should be obvious is clear now, this is no epic, this is war. Mémoire 0079 is about war, and all that truly implies. A tragedy of the people forced to take part it ill. The deaths of countless with the only purpose to throw around the blame to a supposed terrible enemy. The perversion and the propaganda. The ones truly behind it all. It is a conflict grander beyond any imaginable limit, not in the way because it’s worth it or it defines justice or rights, but because so much it’s lost it is incomprehensible, and that only makes it easier for lies and narratives to spur out. It stops being a game, a story, and starts feeling more like a documentary, a peep behind the veil of this galaxy rotten by those in power and lies of nameless CEO’s, but also the turmoil of those that have to fight it.

I need you to be a person. I need to hear your voice

It’s gripping in all the best ways, it makes you livid in all of the best ways, it’s unlike anything I’ve read in a very long time, only moments are only made better by the fantastic music and visual accompaniment. It nails that particular feeling that it goes for and rebels in it, it isn’t about any real occurrence, yet some parts feel like I could have read them in a news outlet with some changes, and I think that says it all. I wish I could go even deeper, not only to know more about this world, but also being able to explore every possible theme, everything it has to say, which it is a lot, but me merely describing everything would be a disservice, it deserved to be read and experienced, it’s a step on a really bright direction, a wonderful story on its own merits, and one that it has so, so much to uncover.

Even if it’s not perfect and some parts do drag a bit and don’t end up really adding much, it deserved to be called and achievement, and if any of the team members get to read this, any compliment would fall short of describing what was accomplished, it was utterly fantastic, and now more than any time, it feels like a game that it needed to be made.

Mémoire 0079 alone isn’t gonna change the state of warlike gaming in the slightest, but it’s a showing of how there’s hope, that time to time we can get a work that proves the industry at large wrong, that there are stories that can and should be told.

Of the pain that must be endured.

Here we are, you and me