DeemonAndGames
2006
If this game proved anything, is that I for sure ain't got rhythm.
Considering that I basically grew up with the DS game and Megamix is one of my favorite 3DS games ever, it’s almost heresy that I haven’t even touched none of the other two games in the franchise, and the timer for Fever will arrive, but now I’m nothing but amazed at how Rhythm Tengoku, with flaws and all, manages to be an excellent starting point for the franchise… tho an admittedly pretty hard at that.
Rhythm Heaven as a whole always had really challenging sections, and Tengoku is no exception, but unlike the rest, this one has The Bon Odori and Polyrhythm, or to put it in another way, it holds pain in store. I believe those and their sequels (seriously, when I saw that there was a Polyrhythm 2 I began to hear the Godskin Apostle theme out of sheer dread ) are the most egregious cases where the game just goes batshit insane and asks of you perfection for certain segments, but they are not the only example of this. I’d say overall that this is the most imbalanced selection of rhythm minigames out of all the series, which might be a bit of a mean comparison considering this was the first one, but it still doesn’t fully excuse how some of these challenges can be extremely frustrating and sometimes weirdly dependent on the visuals (Toss boys is a great example of this), which is a issue considering how depth perception can be a bit messy on some of these and it’s a problem that none of the other later games would ever face (at least not that I know of, but I’m sure Fever will also stick the landing in that department). And yet, despite the frustration, despite the occasional uninteresting minigame, I just couldn’t stop being captivated.
The music pushes the GBA sound-font to its limits and it’s pleasant as it is a joy to listen to; there are some incredible themes here, specially on the remixes, as is as almost everything in the game itself is dancing at the music, which it’s a feeling that the game is going for, but no other GBA release that I’ve seen has been able to even come close. I may have trashed The Bon Odori a bit before, but it’s a musical stun as it is visually. Even if only the best games on here where the ones able to achieve the joy and satisfaction that I associate with the series, I can’t deny that them all are a pleasure to the eye, visually varied and incredibly imaginative: you may have a color-book style in one game, but in the next they might even use 3D. Despite everything, Tengoku made me feel the joy of getting a superb, of being one with the rhythm, of discovering what the next challenge has in; it’s still a damn good rhythm game one that since it’s inception it was made to be a challenge as well as an experience everyone can enjoy, and I think there’s something beautiful in that that sincerity was present from the very first moment.
Also I’m contractually obligated to say that Remix 6 is a banger, which it is, but I would also like to point out Remix 5’s theme, ‘cause HOLY NOW THAT’S A BANGER AND IT HAS COOL PINK MONKEYS, PEAK I TELL YOU, PEAK.
Considering that I basically grew up with the DS game and Megamix is one of my favorite 3DS games ever, it’s almost heresy that I haven’t even touched none of the other two games in the franchise, and the timer for Fever will arrive, but now I’m nothing but amazed at how Rhythm Tengoku, with flaws and all, manages to be an excellent starting point for the franchise… tho an admittedly pretty hard at that.
Rhythm Heaven as a whole always had really challenging sections, and Tengoku is no exception, but unlike the rest, this one has The Bon Odori and Polyrhythm, or to put it in another way, it holds pain in store. I believe those and their sequels (seriously, when I saw that there was a Polyrhythm 2 I began to hear the Godskin Apostle theme out of sheer dread ) are the most egregious cases where the game just goes batshit insane and asks of you perfection for certain segments, but they are not the only example of this. I’d say overall that this is the most imbalanced selection of rhythm minigames out of all the series, which might be a bit of a mean comparison considering this was the first one, but it still doesn’t fully excuse how some of these challenges can be extremely frustrating and sometimes weirdly dependent on the visuals (Toss boys is a great example of this), which is a issue considering how depth perception can be a bit messy on some of these and it’s a problem that none of the other later games would ever face (at least not that I know of, but I’m sure Fever will also stick the landing in that department). And yet, despite the frustration, despite the occasional uninteresting minigame, I just couldn’t stop being captivated.
The music pushes the GBA sound-font to its limits and it’s pleasant as it is a joy to listen to; there are some incredible themes here, specially on the remixes, as is as almost everything in the game itself is dancing at the music, which it’s a feeling that the game is going for, but no other GBA release that I’ve seen has been able to even come close. I may have trashed The Bon Odori a bit before, but it’s a musical stun as it is visually. Even if only the best games on here where the ones able to achieve the joy and satisfaction that I associate with the series, I can’t deny that them all are a pleasure to the eye, visually varied and incredibly imaginative: you may have a color-book style in one game, but in the next they might even use 3D. Despite everything, Tengoku made me feel the joy of getting a superb, of being one with the rhythm, of discovering what the next challenge has in; it’s still a damn good rhythm game one that since it’s inception it was made to be a challenge as well as an experience everyone can enjoy, and I think there’s something beautiful in that that sincerity was present from the very first moment.
Also I’m contractually obligated to say that Remix 6 is a banger, which it is, but I would also like to point out Remix 5’s theme, ‘cause HOLY NOW THAT’S A BANGER AND IT HAS COOL PINK MONKEYS, PEAK I TELL YOU, PEAK.
2020
It's finally time for Mario to face his biggest enemy yet; not Bowser, not Bowser Jr., not the camera, not even the slopes... but the legal system.
Super Mario Sunshine is weird, yeah I know, what a daring statement, but I’m not referring about its presentation and ambience, I’m talking about how it manages to be an amazing and incredibly fun platformer that I would even go as far to say that holds in store some of the best parts in any 3D Mario period… and an absolute mess of a game with glaring flaws in both pacing and design that make it at various points flat out infuriating, frustrating and tedious. I’m baffled at how they screw up in some areas, ‘cause I really cannot stress enough how much of a home run is the good stuff in here.
Delfino Island and its locales amount to what it’s perhaps the best assortment of levels out of any Mario game, at least thematically that is. Peach’s Castle in 64 was a pretty good main hub, and the rest of the series followed suite and they all have fantastic central areas that hold up very well in their own regards (except Odyssey I guess, mainly ‘cause it really doesn’t have one), but none of them hold the candle to Delfino Plaza; not only it’s a fantastic starting point full of secrets and side-quests and a playground to experiment with the mechanics and F.L.U.D.D. as well as very neat introduction to the whole concept of shines and how the isle operates, but it also feels like central area, one where, even if you still have to use paintings and pipes to get to the levels, everything feels interconnected naturally. Being able to see other places from certain levels or the Delfino Plaza itself helps a lot on this regard, but what sells it all it’s how every place works together to form a strong thematic feeling; Mario games aren’t really that into having a particular theme, the only other exception maybe being Galaxy with its space setting, but Sunshine is just on a whole another world: the playful and whimsical nature of Pinna Park, the striking sunset and seemingly endless hotel rooms of Sirena Beach, the ancient and massive looks of Noki Bay… The concept of platforming across the different places in a tropical island was already good, but Sunshine uses this idea and takes it to its fullest potential. With the exception of maybe Pianta Village which fills a tad artificial and purely focused on the platforming challenges, every single one of the main areas are real places in which the inhabitants live or the tourists go visit or have fun, and it just so happens that they are fantastic places do some platforming; of course I’m not saying that there aren’t parts that don’t feel gamified, in fact there are a lot of subareas that are completely obstacle-course focused (we will get to those later), but in the moment to moment gameplay this immersion is only matched by a few other platformers, it’s creativeness it’s only paralleled by the joy-filled sounds and soundtrack, how well these places are designed and how fun it is to traverse them… ‘cause yeah I actually adore the movement and platforming in this game AND I SHALL DIE ON THIS HILL.
It's honestly shocking how despite limiting Mario’s base movement compared to the last entry and putting a focus on vertical movement, Super Mario Sunshine lends itself to be a joy to control using all the capabilities at your disposal to the maximum and being a ton of fun… or at least 50% of the game does… again, we will get to that later. F.L.U.D.D is obviously the star of the show; it’s completely unexpected and bonkers to focus the sequel to motherfucking Super Mario 64 on water and how to use it as a movement tool, but despite only being able to do a handful of things, this water tank trumpet looking-ass is a game changer. The squirt nozzle is a great way to expand of combat and making boss fights WAYYYYYYYYYY more interesting than they ever were, but it’s with the hover nozzle that the game goes insane; hovering in itself is a super cool ability, but in this game not only is mandatory to use it for certain sections, not only it is highly convenient and a life saver in multiple instances, it is what gives you the chance to break entire missions in half, having this tool makes you think outside the box and a ton of the fun of the game comes exactly from that. The missions themselves are also mostly fun (emphasis on mostly), some offer really cool platforming challenges as I said, but a ton of the levels do actual story progression within each of them, having small narratives that advance as you complete chapters and gain shines; it’s a really compelling way both gameplay and story wise to make me just keep playing chapters aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Shadow Mario stole F.L.U.D.D. … Uh-oh.
Yeah… the fludless levels are by far the most disliked part of the game by many, and while I do think there are some fun levels of this kind here and there… yeah no more often than not they are highly frustrating. It’s really strange to me that the developers decided for this to be such an important and mandatory part of the game considering how every single part of the experience is designed around having F.L.U.D.D., which includes the moments you don’t have the goddam thing. A lot of people say that it feels like Mario’s shoes are slippery or on soap, but I think that’s not exactly the problem: again, I think Mario itself controls pretty well, it’s move set is focused on verticality yeah, but by itself there’s not much problem with it… until you can’t hover, and that’s when you realize the physics on this game are atrocious. I swear whoever designed these sub-areas must have had a terrible day, not only there are some almost mean design aspects that make them overly difficult, but if Mario as much as touches a slope, that plumber is already dead. And ignoring the almost comical aspect of Mario letting himself be stolen by Bowser Jr. MULTIPLE times, it’s terrible how some of these sub-areas connect to the main mission; some do it fine enough, but in other’s you’ll be doing a totally normal and actually fun mission to then be immediately teleported to one of these with no reason at all and suffer! Isn’t that fun?!. All of them having the exact same song and visually similar doesn’t help in the slightest, and it juts results and a bunch of stuff that you really don’t want to do… and that’s something that not only affects these obstacle-courses.
Look, Sunshine isn’t the hardest game out there, and despite me not being the most skilled player out there, I actually didn’t find parts of it as other people said they would, hell, some stuff like the sand bird or the watermelon mission I managed to do them just fine! The problem with this game isn’t that its consistently hard, more.so that is consistently annoying. Even some of the missions that I’ve been praising can be a slog, they are just not fun and repetitive, and death meaning being booted back out and having to start from the very beginning is actually evil and an huge waste of time, considering how entering a levels takes a lot more than it did in 64. It’s made even more frustrating ‘cause you’ll be presented with a very cool and original level where you have to clean a huge eel’s teeth and is super fun and challenging, only to have to do one where you have to be thrown by Piantas with 0 aiming skills or having to traverse and overly long, boring and confusing maze; there’s no middle ground, the missions are either 10 out of 10 or a torture beyond human comprehension, and a lot would be remedied if the game just was more friendly in communicating what the hell you need to do; sometimes is clear as water, others, the way to progress is at the exact opposite plaxe from where the start of the level is (fuck you too Pianta Village!).
Progression is also kinda weird; the story is weirdly fast pace, with basically no spoken dialogue or cinematics after a certain boss fight and they disappear until the ending, and the way you obtain the nozzles and Yoshi is also really weird, the nozzles are fine I guess, but it’s weird that you only really unlock them for the main hub (and I believe they would work far better as permanent upgrades) , and that they are also pretty imbalanced, the rocket is WAYYYYY more useful than the other one that I only used like two times and don’t even remember the name. Yoshi is also kinda bizarre since you need to beat a specific mission for it you unlocked, but hey, it doesn’t really matter, after all, all 7 first chapters of every single level and mandatory, so it really that big of a deal!... Wait a second WHAT.
Look, I’m fine with tying the progression with the defeats of Shadow Mario instead with the Shines themselves, that idea at a base level isn’t bad, what IS bad is that because how it is made, shines serve absolutely no purpose unless you want to get 100% completion, which actively makes the already kinda frustrating coin and blue coin MULTIPLE shines even more pointless AND this teensy-little fact is NEVER told by the game EVER. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS SUNSHINE, I WANT TO LOVE YOU SO BADLY.
Super Mario Sunshine it’s beyond flawed, and its missteps only become more and more apparent as the game goes on… but still, I have gained a huge fondness for it; at times it’s a fantastic experience, and I value it both for what it s and what it is not: it is a fantastic game with some of the best platforming in the series and incredible sense of style, and it is not just a sequel to Super Mario 64, it’s its own thing that would go on to define modern Mario and a lot of the design choices, like the pan out of the level and showing the objective and the more developed boss fights that , would go on to inspire future 3D Marios, and in that alone it has value, and plus, it’s still a damn good game. I think I’ll ponder over this one for a bit, but as of now I now clearly but even with flaws, it’s worth playing it and discover the surprises it has in store.
And now, officially, summer begins…
Super Mario Sunshine is weird, yeah I know, what a daring statement, but I’m not referring about its presentation and ambience, I’m talking about how it manages to be an amazing and incredibly fun platformer that I would even go as far to say that holds in store some of the best parts in any 3D Mario period… and an absolute mess of a game with glaring flaws in both pacing and design that make it at various points flat out infuriating, frustrating and tedious. I’m baffled at how they screw up in some areas, ‘cause I really cannot stress enough how much of a home run is the good stuff in here.
Delfino Island and its locales amount to what it’s perhaps the best assortment of levels out of any Mario game, at least thematically that is. Peach’s Castle in 64 was a pretty good main hub, and the rest of the series followed suite and they all have fantastic central areas that hold up very well in their own regards (except Odyssey I guess, mainly ‘cause it really doesn’t have one), but none of them hold the candle to Delfino Plaza; not only it’s a fantastic starting point full of secrets and side-quests and a playground to experiment with the mechanics and F.L.U.D.D. as well as very neat introduction to the whole concept of shines and how the isle operates, but it also feels like central area, one where, even if you still have to use paintings and pipes to get to the levels, everything feels interconnected naturally. Being able to see other places from certain levels or the Delfino Plaza itself helps a lot on this regard, but what sells it all it’s how every place works together to form a strong thematic feeling; Mario games aren’t really that into having a particular theme, the only other exception maybe being Galaxy with its space setting, but Sunshine is just on a whole another world: the playful and whimsical nature of Pinna Park, the striking sunset and seemingly endless hotel rooms of Sirena Beach, the ancient and massive looks of Noki Bay… The concept of platforming across the different places in a tropical island was already good, but Sunshine uses this idea and takes it to its fullest potential. With the exception of maybe Pianta Village which fills a tad artificial and purely focused on the platforming challenges, every single one of the main areas are real places in which the inhabitants live or the tourists go visit or have fun, and it just so happens that they are fantastic places do some platforming; of course I’m not saying that there aren’t parts that don’t feel gamified, in fact there are a lot of subareas that are completely obstacle-course focused (we will get to those later), but in the moment to moment gameplay this immersion is only matched by a few other platformers, it’s creativeness it’s only paralleled by the joy-filled sounds and soundtrack, how well these places are designed and how fun it is to traverse them… ‘cause yeah I actually adore the movement and platforming in this game AND I SHALL DIE ON THIS HILL.
It's honestly shocking how despite limiting Mario’s base movement compared to the last entry and putting a focus on vertical movement, Super Mario Sunshine lends itself to be a joy to control using all the capabilities at your disposal to the maximum and being a ton of fun… or at least 50% of the game does… again, we will get to that later. F.L.U.D.D is obviously the star of the show; it’s completely unexpected and bonkers to focus the sequel to motherfucking Super Mario 64 on water and how to use it as a movement tool, but despite only being able to do a handful of things, this water tank trumpet looking-ass is a game changer. The squirt nozzle is a great way to expand of combat and making boss fights WAYYYYYYYYYY more interesting than they ever were, but it’s with the hover nozzle that the game goes insane; hovering in itself is a super cool ability, but in this game not only is mandatory to use it for certain sections, not only it is highly convenient and a life saver in multiple instances, it is what gives you the chance to break entire missions in half, having this tool makes you think outside the box and a ton of the fun of the game comes exactly from that. The missions themselves are also mostly fun (emphasis on mostly), some offer really cool platforming challenges as I said, but a ton of the levels do actual story progression within each of them, having small narratives that advance as you complete chapters and gain shines; it’s a really compelling way both gameplay and story wise to make me just keep playing chapters aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Shadow Mario stole F.L.U.D.D. … Uh-oh.
Yeah… the fludless levels are by far the most disliked part of the game by many, and while I do think there are some fun levels of this kind here and there… yeah no more often than not they are highly frustrating. It’s really strange to me that the developers decided for this to be such an important and mandatory part of the game considering how every single part of the experience is designed around having F.L.U.D.D., which includes the moments you don’t have the goddam thing. A lot of people say that it feels like Mario’s shoes are slippery or on soap, but I think that’s not exactly the problem: again, I think Mario itself controls pretty well, it’s move set is focused on verticality yeah, but by itself there’s not much problem with it… until you can’t hover, and that’s when you realize the physics on this game are atrocious. I swear whoever designed these sub-areas must have had a terrible day, not only there are some almost mean design aspects that make them overly difficult, but if Mario as much as touches a slope, that plumber is already dead. And ignoring the almost comical aspect of Mario letting himself be stolen by Bowser Jr. MULTIPLE times, it’s terrible how some of these sub-areas connect to the main mission; some do it fine enough, but in other’s you’ll be doing a totally normal and actually fun mission to then be immediately teleported to one of these with no reason at all and suffer! Isn’t that fun?!. All of them having the exact same song and visually similar doesn’t help in the slightest, and it juts results and a bunch of stuff that you really don’t want to do… and that’s something that not only affects these obstacle-courses.
Look, Sunshine isn’t the hardest game out there, and despite me not being the most skilled player out there, I actually didn’t find parts of it as other people said they would, hell, some stuff like the sand bird or the watermelon mission I managed to do them just fine! The problem with this game isn’t that its consistently hard, more.so that is consistently annoying. Even some of the missions that I’ve been praising can be a slog, they are just not fun and repetitive, and death meaning being booted back out and having to start from the very beginning is actually evil and an huge waste of time, considering how entering a levels takes a lot more than it did in 64. It’s made even more frustrating ‘cause you’ll be presented with a very cool and original level where you have to clean a huge eel’s teeth and is super fun and challenging, only to have to do one where you have to be thrown by Piantas with 0 aiming skills or having to traverse and overly long, boring and confusing maze; there’s no middle ground, the missions are either 10 out of 10 or a torture beyond human comprehension, and a lot would be remedied if the game just was more friendly in communicating what the hell you need to do; sometimes is clear as water, others, the way to progress is at the exact opposite plaxe from where the start of the level is (fuck you too Pianta Village!).
Progression is also kinda weird; the story is weirdly fast pace, with basically no spoken dialogue or cinematics after a certain boss fight and they disappear until the ending, and the way you obtain the nozzles and Yoshi is also really weird, the nozzles are fine I guess, but it’s weird that you only really unlock them for the main hub (and I believe they would work far better as permanent upgrades) , and that they are also pretty imbalanced, the rocket is WAYYYYY more useful than the other one that I only used like two times and don’t even remember the name. Yoshi is also kinda bizarre since you need to beat a specific mission for it you unlocked, but hey, it doesn’t really matter, after all, all 7 first chapters of every single level and mandatory, so it really that big of a deal!... Wait a second WHAT.
Look, I’m fine with tying the progression with the defeats of Shadow Mario instead with the Shines themselves, that idea at a base level isn’t bad, what IS bad is that because how it is made, shines serve absolutely no purpose unless you want to get 100% completion, which actively makes the already kinda frustrating coin and blue coin MULTIPLE shines even more pointless AND this teensy-little fact is NEVER told by the game EVER. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS SUNSHINE, I WANT TO LOVE YOU SO BADLY.
Super Mario Sunshine it’s beyond flawed, and its missteps only become more and more apparent as the game goes on… but still, I have gained a huge fondness for it; at times it’s a fantastic experience, and I value it both for what it s and what it is not: it is a fantastic game with some of the best platforming in the series and incredible sense of style, and it is not just a sequel to Super Mario 64, it’s its own thing that would go on to define modern Mario and a lot of the design choices, like the pan out of the level and showing the objective and the more developed boss fights that , would go on to inspire future 3D Marios, and in that alone it has value, and plus, it’s still a damn good game. I think I’ll ponder over this one for a bit, but as of now I now clearly but even with flaws, it’s worth playing it and discover the surprises it has in store.
And now, officially, summer begins…
2023
I played this with a friend watching me and the moment the chairs started fliying and spinning across the room we lost our fucking minds; that, plus the vine booms and Jumbo Josh, fucking sent us.
I’m not gonna dedicate more time to this review than the developers took on making the game: Garten of Banban only holds value in the fever dream-like experience it produces while playing, and it's absolutely shocking how this game fails in almost every department, be it visually, level design-wise or the general concept.
At first, back when I heard of it, I just thought it was a normal bad game that had the misfortune of turning into the poster child of everything that's wrong with modern broader horror, but after seeing more of it and know playing it, I now know better, oh do I understand now.
This is like if someone with zero artistic qualities tried to do a macaroni art version of the Mona Lisa, except that in this case the Mona Lisa isn't even that good. Uninspired, visually overly simplistic and ugly, puzzle logic that seems to be designed by some kind of rat man that has lived in the sewers for 20 years that purely consists on going around on cycles finding stuff and telling a drone to bump into buttons and finding electric pads under FUCKING DESKS, non-existent horror elements, aspirations of being a cash-grab by following a episodic format and having a god-forsaken merch-store, horrible setting that doesn't make any kind of sense at a logical level (the games it follows beat by beat even manage to make their settings at least believable), putrid art-style, poorly designed, vile, unappetizing, disgusting excuse for a videogame it has ever been my displeasure to have entered within the range of my visual field!... and yet, I... I fucking adore it.
This game activates all of the dumbest neurons in my brain, reaching high levels of awfulness while not being absolutely infuriating or boring. It’s a like seeing a clown car crash, it’s horrible and you can’t stop looking at it, but it’s funny in a very twisted way. It all is just bonkers enough to be endearing, with character designs that are stupid as they are the best things in the universe; Jumbo Josh is an absolute unit and a king and I shall not take any negatives for an answer. And the best part of all of this is that I’m not alone, my friend was also losing his shit at this game, as so did what it seemed like the entire internet, and is a fascinating case almost deserving of study how this preposterous product such at thus could have this effect, but it’s precisely that twisted fun what gives it’s only thing of value.
It’s Garten of Banban the worst thing ever? No, as much as I have trashed on it, it’s at least functional, it at least has a semblance of design, it at least it has kinda neat ideas in theory, at least it’s funny… which may be the bare minimum to ask but hey, at least it does something. I know that it’s its short duration what prevents it from being and absolute shitshow, and I don’t have any kind of doubts that the other chapters wouldn’t be deserving of an extra half-star, but hey, at least I can say of this one that there was an attempt kinda not really.
It's bad, it’s borderline atrocious, but it’s kinda amazing how a game can give me so much joy in a way it didn’t intend at all. This is the definition of a guilty pleasure, except it’s not really a pleasure… ‘’guilty novelty’’, yeah, I think that’s the better way to put it.
This is, indeed, the BOTY.
I’m not gonna dedicate more time to this review than the developers took on making the game: Garten of Banban only holds value in the fever dream-like experience it produces while playing, and it's absolutely shocking how this game fails in almost every department, be it visually, level design-wise or the general concept.
At first, back when I heard of it, I just thought it was a normal bad game that had the misfortune of turning into the poster child of everything that's wrong with modern broader horror, but after seeing more of it and know playing it, I now know better, oh do I understand now.
This is like if someone with zero artistic qualities tried to do a macaroni art version of the Mona Lisa, except that in this case the Mona Lisa isn't even that good. Uninspired, visually overly simplistic and ugly, puzzle logic that seems to be designed by some kind of rat man that has lived in the sewers for 20 years that purely consists on going around on cycles finding stuff and telling a drone to bump into buttons and finding electric pads under FUCKING DESKS, non-existent horror elements, aspirations of being a cash-grab by following a episodic format and having a god-forsaken merch-store, horrible setting that doesn't make any kind of sense at a logical level (the games it follows beat by beat even manage to make their settings at least believable), putrid art-style, poorly designed, vile, unappetizing, disgusting excuse for a videogame it has ever been my displeasure to have entered within the range of my visual field!... and yet, I... I fucking adore it.
This game activates all of the dumbest neurons in my brain, reaching high levels of awfulness while not being absolutely infuriating or boring. It’s a like seeing a clown car crash, it’s horrible and you can’t stop looking at it, but it’s funny in a very twisted way. It all is just bonkers enough to be endearing, with character designs that are stupid as they are the best things in the universe; Jumbo Josh is an absolute unit and a king and I shall not take any negatives for an answer. And the best part of all of this is that I’m not alone, my friend was also losing his shit at this game, as so did what it seemed like the entire internet, and is a fascinating case almost deserving of study how this preposterous product such at thus could have this effect, but it’s precisely that twisted fun what gives it’s only thing of value.
It’s Garten of Banban the worst thing ever? No, as much as I have trashed on it, it’s at least functional, it at least has a semblance of design, it at least it has kinda neat ideas in theory, at least it’s funny… which may be the bare minimum to ask but hey, at least it does something. I know that it’s its short duration what prevents it from being and absolute shitshow, and I don’t have any kind of doubts that the other chapters wouldn’t be deserving of an extra half-star, but hey, at least I can say of this one that there was an attempt kinda not really.
It's bad, it’s borderline atrocious, but it’s kinda amazing how a game can give me so much joy in a way it didn’t intend at all. This is the definition of a guilty pleasure, except it’s not really a pleasure… ‘’guilty novelty’’, yeah, I think that’s the better way to put it.
This is, indeed, the BOTY.
More like Metal Slog X am I right or am I right fellas (I'm not right in the slightest this game kinda slaps)!
The Metal Slug series blew my mind since the very first time I discovered it, back when I was a stupid and young and stupid kid that barely knew how to use the DS, 'cause holy hell these games look INCREDIBLE. As such, I've tried playing them multiple times, but my poor stupid and young and, you guessed it, stupid mind weren't really that accustomed to Arcade experiences, and so every time I attempted any game I ended up feeling frustrated and didn't finish it; but today that changed, I finally was the Metal Slug... I still ended up feeling frustrated tho.
In a technical aspect, this game is fucking surreal; the pixel-art is crisp and beautiful, as it is the art-style. It's clear that very single sprite was originally a 2D hand-drawn images, and that makes it not only have spectacular looks, but insane animations as well. The backgrounds are also amazing, and they also showcase what makes this game (and the series for that matter) be as unique as it is, it being the personality that oozes from every pixel: the smallest details like a baby just walking around a battlefield, the definitely not German inspired soldiers screaming in sheer terror when you respawn, the hair-driers that the aliens have for guns; all of these little things go from really fun and hilarious add-ons to fantastic visual clues and animations that inject the whole running and gunning with so much absurd life… which something that the soUNDTRACK ALSO DOES OH MY FUCKING GOD DOES THIS OST SLAP!. It all feels to good to be true, which is a sentiment that the game itself seems to feel ‘cause hooooooooooooooooooo boi is it full of slow-downs. It’s absolutely expectable considering that this originally released back in 1999, even before if you considered that X is an upgrade of Metal Slug 2, and also a great one that adds even more details and better balancing and even some music changes, but still, this doesn’t change the fact that it affects GREATLY the experience, and this one being a re-release, it makes it even more disappointing they just emulated without trying to fix any of these issues.
But hey, this game has Eri and that weird muscular man with a machine gun, I imagine it takes a lot to process all of that, especially the latter.
The level design also surprised me greatly, I already knew it wasn’t bad at all, but my god are these layouts fun; the way platforming and gunplay is combine gives for a fantastic feeling in the moment to moment combat, and that combined with the sheer variety of enemies, weapons and even vehicles (you can ride a plane for crying out loud, A PLANE), makes for some incredible set pieces (the boss of Mission 2 specially, that one is pure gold) and a mostly fun game… except Mission 5, I have no idea what happened there. Mission 6, the final one, even with its problems, it has really cool moments and original challenges, but Mission 5… I mean if a level had to be bad, I’m glad it wasn’t the first or the last one, but I’d rather not have a straight line full of what feels like hundreds of enemies and repetitive encounters in which the slowdown makes it impossible to distinguish what it’s happening, y’know? And it’s not like that’s the only bad thing with design wise; Metal Slug X is an arcade game, and that comes with certain design decision, for better and for worse. For better, is a quick, fast paced experience that pushes its advanced hardware to its limit (sometimes too much), and for worse it can turn into an endless and incredibly drawn-out showdown against hordes of enemies that doesn’t feel fun or fair and boss fights that feel to spongy and long that otherwise would be really fun. I get it what it’s like this, you gotta take away those pennies some way or another, and maybe if I played it in an Arcade I would value it more, but even as it stands, there are moments that just feels like they filled the screen with enemies with no consideration if it would be fun or not.
Also there are some depictions of people from certain countries that… haven’t aged all that well honestly. I’m not holding it against the game since it doesn’t really affect anything and there doesn’t seem to be any kind of ill-intent, but I know that there are some people that understandably don’t like that type of stuff, so if you are one of those people, keep it in mind if you plan to play it, ‘cause… yeah, with flaws and all, I actually recommend Metal Slug X.
Most of its problems are just results of the hardware it was released on, both in terms in how it was designed and the technical problems it has, and that, plus it being a revision of another game, it actually adds it a ton of value. What’s here is just absolutely fantastic, an achievement, and I can’t stop looking at it in awe as well as having A TON of fun in its best moments. I don’t know id this particular release is really worth checking out compared to other re-releases, but I do know that the game itself is wild and has some moments that are just the best.
…and also, I would like to take this last paragraph to say one last thing... THE HELICOPTERS FUCKING SUCK AND I HOPE THEY GUY OR GAL THAT DESIGNED THEIR ATTACKS STUBS THEIR TOE- ok maybe that’s a bit too far, nobody deserves that… the same way nobody deservES FIGHTING AGAINST THREE HELICOPETS WHILE SOLDIERS ARE SHOOTING AT YOU FROM BOTH SIDES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
The Metal Slug series blew my mind since the very first time I discovered it, back when I was a stupid and young and stupid kid that barely knew how to use the DS, 'cause holy hell these games look INCREDIBLE. As such, I've tried playing them multiple times, but my poor stupid and young and, you guessed it, stupid mind weren't really that accustomed to Arcade experiences, and so every time I attempted any game I ended up feeling frustrated and didn't finish it; but today that changed, I finally was the Metal Slug... I still ended up feeling frustrated tho.
In a technical aspect, this game is fucking surreal; the pixel-art is crisp and beautiful, as it is the art-style. It's clear that very single sprite was originally a 2D hand-drawn images, and that makes it not only have spectacular looks, but insane animations as well. The backgrounds are also amazing, and they also showcase what makes this game (and the series for that matter) be as unique as it is, it being the personality that oozes from every pixel: the smallest details like a baby just walking around a battlefield, the definitely not German inspired soldiers screaming in sheer terror when you respawn, the hair-driers that the aliens have for guns; all of these little things go from really fun and hilarious add-ons to fantastic visual clues and animations that inject the whole running and gunning with so much absurd life… which something that the soUNDTRACK ALSO DOES OH MY FUCKING GOD DOES THIS OST SLAP!. It all feels to good to be true, which is a sentiment that the game itself seems to feel ‘cause hooooooooooooooooooo boi is it full of slow-downs. It’s absolutely expectable considering that this originally released back in 1999, even before if you considered that X is an upgrade of Metal Slug 2, and also a great one that adds even more details and better balancing and even some music changes, but still, this doesn’t change the fact that it affects GREATLY the experience, and this one being a re-release, it makes it even more disappointing they just emulated without trying to fix any of these issues.
But hey, this game has Eri and that weird muscular man with a machine gun, I imagine it takes a lot to process all of that, especially the latter.
The level design also surprised me greatly, I already knew it wasn’t bad at all, but my god are these layouts fun; the way platforming and gunplay is combine gives for a fantastic feeling in the moment to moment combat, and that combined with the sheer variety of enemies, weapons and even vehicles (you can ride a plane for crying out loud, A PLANE), makes for some incredible set pieces (the boss of Mission 2 specially, that one is pure gold) and a mostly fun game… except Mission 5, I have no idea what happened there. Mission 6, the final one, even with its problems, it has really cool moments and original challenges, but Mission 5… I mean if a level had to be bad, I’m glad it wasn’t the first or the last one, but I’d rather not have a straight line full of what feels like hundreds of enemies and repetitive encounters in which the slowdown makes it impossible to distinguish what it’s happening, y’know? And it’s not like that’s the only bad thing with design wise; Metal Slug X is an arcade game, and that comes with certain design decision, for better and for worse. For better, is a quick, fast paced experience that pushes its advanced hardware to its limit (sometimes too much), and for worse it can turn into an endless and incredibly drawn-out showdown against hordes of enemies that doesn’t feel fun or fair and boss fights that feel to spongy and long that otherwise would be really fun. I get it what it’s like this, you gotta take away those pennies some way or another, and maybe if I played it in an Arcade I would value it more, but even as it stands, there are moments that just feels like they filled the screen with enemies with no consideration if it would be fun or not.
Also there are some depictions of people from certain countries that… haven’t aged all that well honestly. I’m not holding it against the game since it doesn’t really affect anything and there doesn’t seem to be any kind of ill-intent, but I know that there are some people that understandably don’t like that type of stuff, so if you are one of those people, keep it in mind if you plan to play it, ‘cause… yeah, with flaws and all, I actually recommend Metal Slug X.
Most of its problems are just results of the hardware it was released on, both in terms in how it was designed and the technical problems it has, and that, plus it being a revision of another game, it actually adds it a ton of value. What’s here is just absolutely fantastic, an achievement, and I can’t stop looking at it in awe as well as having A TON of fun in its best moments. I don’t know id this particular release is really worth checking out compared to other re-releases, but I do know that the game itself is wild and has some moments that are just the best.
…and also, I would like to take this last paragraph to say one last thing... THE HELICOPTERS FUCKING SUCK AND I HOPE THEY GUY OR GAL THAT DESIGNED THEIR ATTACKS STUBS THEIR TOE- ok maybe that’s a bit too far, nobody deserves that… the same way nobody deservES FIGHTING AGAINST THREE HELICOPETS WHILE SOLDIERS ARE SHOOTING AT YOU FROM BOTH SIDES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
2009
Finally, after stealing, labor exploitation, underpaying and very likely tax evading, Wario had only one thing left to tackle... Child labour!
Similarly to Twisted I originally intended to skip D.I.Y, I'd play it in the future for sure, but I didn't have plans to play it right now right after the other WarioWare games and before Gold, the main reason being not that I didn't thought it would be good, far from it, but rather that it looked extremely different compared to the rest, putting the micro-game creating aspect in the spotlight and the actual frenetic moment to moment gameplay and stages more as a side-mode; I imagined it would be more than a tool than a game... and I have never been so wrong yet so right in my entire life.
D.I.Y lets you, well, do it yourself; at its most basic, is a tool almost entirely dedicated about the level editor, an incredibly robust one at that, and the now sadly defunct sharing with other players experience, and only with a few side modes that depart from the idea of you being the one that pumps out games for the greedy mustachioed. That alone is an interesting concept, but, and I know this may sound incredibly dumb, the thing that takes all of this to the next level is how much WarioWare everything feel, and you may be thinking ‘’… well, fucking duh’’ but hold on for a second, ‘cause when I say that I absolutely mean it; every aspect, every mechanic, every part and sound of the process, everything here, it all oozes that identity that makes this series unique, and that it’s what takes this editor and WHOLE concept of the game to next level.
When I said the micro-game creating process is robust, I mean that it’s absurdly deep. This isn’t your baby’s first level editor, this is no ‘’select from a couple of options’’ kinda game; of course everything you make has to be simple and short just like any other micro-game would be, but within that limit, you can do absolutely anything; you are left free to draw, program and compose and record your own sound effects and music, and all at first is kind of shocking at a bit intimidating, but the game has you covered. The fantastic visuals and sounds that have characterized the series are now taken to a completely new context, one that asks taking things more slowly, more calmly, and that don’t put pressure on the player, and they exceed on that task by miles. Everything is so pleasing, so fun to navigate, immediately clear and well communicated, it makes creating games a game within itself, and a really enjoyable one. Even the tutorial, that all things considered can drag on a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit, are made lighter by the character interactions ,I really didn’t expect to have a blast reading the conversations of Penny and Wario in a freacking tutorial, but I sure did. Even outside of said tutorials, everything feels as if it’s designed to teach you slowly on the fly, like letting you experiment with music, completing the micro-games that Wario left half-finished, and even the character stages that aren’t really character stages!
Yeah, this time around we really don’t have the usual story mode, and instead we have 5 stages that don’t really have an ending, which kinda makes sense, this time they aren’t the focus and they do serve as a pretty cool showcase of the crazy stuff you yourself can pull out and do and it’s pretty inspiring, specially 9-Volt’s stages… but, and even if there are some really cool ones here and there, overall the minigames are extremely simplistic and visually samey, which, once again, makes sense since they really aren’t the main attraction… except they kinda are in a way. Unless you have a DS full of other people’s micro-games, these are the only non-tutorial single player level in the entire game, which, aside from being its own showcase how the passing of time inevitably has impact in some games, it also shows how this game only has value depending on how much effort you are willing to put in.
I can’t stress it enough how fun and fleshed out the editor is, but that itself doesn’t really do much if you aren’t that interested in making games, which granted, is the point of the game, but you aren’t going to make games for all of eternity, is nice to play others, and while I’m sure that my perception would be more positive if I played this first when it came out and when I could have shared games with my buddies, that doesn’t share the fact that D.I.Y is probably the game in the series until that point that would leave the most amount of people feeling indifferent, at least in the long run.
It's by all accounts still a fantastic package, and I’m really glad I experience and I may even come back to it to do some dumb stuff in the future, but as it is, I don’t really feel compelled to keep creating; this time your schemes won’t trap me, Mr.Wario!...
…wait…wa-wait, wait a minute… Schemes? Exploitation? Stealing ideas from others and presenting them as his own? Abusive and unprofessional language? Having all his money on a tax haven? Child labour?....... Oh… Oh no… Dear God no. No. NO. NO NO NO NO OH FUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
Similarly to Twisted I originally intended to skip D.I.Y, I'd play it in the future for sure, but I didn't have plans to play it right now right after the other WarioWare games and before Gold, the main reason being not that I didn't thought it would be good, far from it, but rather that it looked extremely different compared to the rest, putting the micro-game creating aspect in the spotlight and the actual frenetic moment to moment gameplay and stages more as a side-mode; I imagined it would be more than a tool than a game... and I have never been so wrong yet so right in my entire life.
D.I.Y lets you, well, do it yourself; at its most basic, is a tool almost entirely dedicated about the level editor, an incredibly robust one at that, and the now sadly defunct sharing with other players experience, and only with a few side modes that depart from the idea of you being the one that pumps out games for the greedy mustachioed. That alone is an interesting concept, but, and I know this may sound incredibly dumb, the thing that takes all of this to the next level is how much WarioWare everything feel, and you may be thinking ‘’… well, fucking duh’’ but hold on for a second, ‘cause when I say that I absolutely mean it; every aspect, every mechanic, every part and sound of the process, everything here, it all oozes that identity that makes this series unique, and that it’s what takes this editor and WHOLE concept of the game to next level.
When I said the micro-game creating process is robust, I mean that it’s absurdly deep. This isn’t your baby’s first level editor, this is no ‘’select from a couple of options’’ kinda game; of course everything you make has to be simple and short just like any other micro-game would be, but within that limit, you can do absolutely anything; you are left free to draw, program and compose and record your own sound effects and music, and all at first is kind of shocking at a bit intimidating, but the game has you covered. The fantastic visuals and sounds that have characterized the series are now taken to a completely new context, one that asks taking things more slowly, more calmly, and that don’t put pressure on the player, and they exceed on that task by miles. Everything is so pleasing, so fun to navigate, immediately clear and well communicated, it makes creating games a game within itself, and a really enjoyable one. Even the tutorial, that all things considered can drag on a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit, are made lighter by the character interactions ,I really didn’t expect to have a blast reading the conversations of Penny and Wario in a freacking tutorial, but I sure did. Even outside of said tutorials, everything feels as if it’s designed to teach you slowly on the fly, like letting you experiment with music, completing the micro-games that Wario left half-finished, and even the character stages that aren’t really character stages!
Yeah, this time around we really don’t have the usual story mode, and instead we have 5 stages that don’t really have an ending, which kinda makes sense, this time they aren’t the focus and they do serve as a pretty cool showcase of the crazy stuff you yourself can pull out and do and it’s pretty inspiring, specially 9-Volt’s stages… but, and even if there are some really cool ones here and there, overall the minigames are extremely simplistic and visually samey, which, once again, makes sense since they really aren’t the main attraction… except they kinda are in a way. Unless you have a DS full of other people’s micro-games, these are the only non-tutorial single player level in the entire game, which, aside from being its own showcase how the passing of time inevitably has impact in some games, it also shows how this game only has value depending on how much effort you are willing to put in.
I can’t stress it enough how fun and fleshed out the editor is, but that itself doesn’t really do much if you aren’t that interested in making games, which granted, is the point of the game, but you aren’t going to make games for all of eternity, is nice to play others, and while I’m sure that my perception would be more positive if I played this first when it came out and when I could have shared games with my buddies, that doesn’t share the fact that D.I.Y is probably the game in the series until that point that would leave the most amount of people feeling indifferent, at least in the long run.
It's by all accounts still a fantastic package, and I’m really glad I experience and I may even come back to it to do some dumb stuff in the future, but as it is, I don’t really feel compelled to keep creating; this time your schemes won’t trap me, Mr.Wario!...
…wait…wa-wait, wait a minute… Schemes? Exploitation? Stealing ideas from others and presenting them as his own? Abusive and unprofessional language? Having all his money on a tax haven? Child labour?....... Oh… Oh no… Dear God no. No. NO. NO NO NO NO OH FUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
This game made me take my Wii from the darkest depths of my closet, and that alone makes it my worst enemy for making me face the horrors of cables, connectors and configuration, and as the savior, for finally giving me an excuse to complete Super Mario Galaxy 2 and Resident Evil 4 in the near future.
After the absolute joy that was Twisted I went into Smooth Moves with a very optimistic view; I had seen some things and read some reviews that looked like it would follow some of the same missteps that Touched! did, but wanted to believe, how could I not trust the Wii iteration of a series of a man that steals and that barely pays his employees?
Well, to my absolute joy, I did have reasons to trust him, because Smooth Moves rocks! Not as hard as the first one or Twisted, but this is fucks, not gonna lie.
The micro-game collection this time around is very interesting: it has higher highs than usual, as it has the lowest lows of the series. They are either absolutely delightful or pretty barren and simple, hardly any in between, tho luckily there are by far more quality ones. However, all of them are similar to the ones in Touched!, in the sense that ALL are either dependent on you shaking the Wii-mote or using the pointer, nothing else. And you may be asking ''wait, if it kind of does the same thing the DS game did, just using a new control scheme that feels reiterative, what makes it good?'' and let me tell ya my dear reader, the answer is very simple... PRESENTATION!.
WarioWare has always been absolute bonkers since its inception, but this time around they just went into full bat-shit insanity mode. Do not be mistaken, a lot of the micro-games are fun on their own, but it's the way everything is shown that just sells it. The Arts, as the game calls them, are nothing more than an excuse to put the Wii Mote in funny ways, but they are a VERY good excuse; this is by far the game in the series that made me laugh the hardest, even when it gets intense: it's dumb in the best way, and invites you to be dumb, to act stupid, to do crazy shit, and the results is giving the minigames much more feedback and depth they would have had otherwise. And the arts aren't the only thing that inject rhythm into the game.
Not only both the visuals and music are crisp as hell once again, the overall game is just more irreverent, more shameless in the best way possible. Whereas past games were just Wario and his friends making games because he found a way to make money... here he founds an ancient artifact and he just takes it... WONDERFUL. The rest of the stories are once again presented in a more episodic format, and they are delightful as always, and once again a bit more crazy than usual. The side content is also pretty neat, as it is the brand-new post-game! Orbulon and Crygor are stages that appear after the final boss, and they are fantastic send offs for the character based stages.
Smooth Moves is, by far, the game in the series that asks the most out of you, but if you are willing to give it, it's one hell of a time, still flawed, nothing that was already present in previous entries and could be considered ''bad'' is gone, but it's still a very nice time, one to which I wasn't scared of being completely submerged in its stupidity. It has Jimmy P. for crying out loud, this game knows damn well what it is.
Oh, and also, one final warning, those who tell you that the Wii had not Star Fox games are not to be trusted. They are both liars and deceivers, and want you to be left unaware of the truth that Wario holds… plus, it’s also better than Star Fox Zero, which is just funny at this point.
After the absolute joy that was Twisted I went into Smooth Moves with a very optimistic view; I had seen some things and read some reviews that looked like it would follow some of the same missteps that Touched! did, but wanted to believe, how could I not trust the Wii iteration of a series of a man that steals and that barely pays his employees?
Well, to my absolute joy, I did have reasons to trust him, because Smooth Moves rocks! Not as hard as the first one or Twisted, but this is fucks, not gonna lie.
The micro-game collection this time around is very interesting: it has higher highs than usual, as it has the lowest lows of the series. They are either absolutely delightful or pretty barren and simple, hardly any in between, tho luckily there are by far more quality ones. However, all of them are similar to the ones in Touched!, in the sense that ALL are either dependent on you shaking the Wii-mote or using the pointer, nothing else. And you may be asking ''wait, if it kind of does the same thing the DS game did, just using a new control scheme that feels reiterative, what makes it good?'' and let me tell ya my dear reader, the answer is very simple... PRESENTATION!.
WarioWare has always been absolute bonkers since its inception, but this time around they just went into full bat-shit insanity mode. Do not be mistaken, a lot of the micro-games are fun on their own, but it's the way everything is shown that just sells it. The Arts, as the game calls them, are nothing more than an excuse to put the Wii Mote in funny ways, but they are a VERY good excuse; this is by far the game in the series that made me laugh the hardest, even when it gets intense: it's dumb in the best way, and invites you to be dumb, to act stupid, to do crazy shit, and the results is giving the minigames much more feedback and depth they would have had otherwise. And the arts aren't the only thing that inject rhythm into the game.
Not only both the visuals and music are crisp as hell once again, the overall game is just more irreverent, more shameless in the best way possible. Whereas past games were just Wario and his friends making games because he found a way to make money... here he founds an ancient artifact and he just takes it... WONDERFUL. The rest of the stories are once again presented in a more episodic format, and they are delightful as always, and once again a bit more crazy than usual. The side content is also pretty neat, as it is the brand-new post-game! Orbulon and Crygor are stages that appear after the final boss, and they are fantastic send offs for the character based stages.
Smooth Moves is, by far, the game in the series that asks the most out of you, but if you are willing to give it, it's one hell of a time, still flawed, nothing that was already present in previous entries and could be considered ''bad'' is gone, but it's still a very nice time, one to which I wasn't scared of being completely submerged in its stupidity. It has Jimmy P. for crying out loud, this game knows damn well what it is.
Oh, and also, one final warning, those who tell you that the Wii had not Star Fox games are not to be trusted. They are both liars and deceivers, and want you to be left unaware of the truth that Wario holds… plus, it’s also better than Star Fox Zero, which is just funny at this point.
2013
What's better than a western? Quite simple really, a western with animals!... But Rango is a movie, not a videogame, so a western with robots will do....
I believe that games that base their gameplay around a routine or repeating a certain action over and over again without being tiresome are deserving of praising only because they manage to pull off something like that, and SteamWorld Dig is one of those games: is an experience about mining and very little else, and as much as I'm gonna dig into its problems (I need to be stopped) the fact that at no point I goy annoyed at the idea of just going down and down is a huge accomplishment of its own.
It fully plays with the routine of being a robot miner: going down, mining a bit, exploring caves, getting abilities, going up, selling materials, buying more upgrades, going down and repeat. That's basically what the entire game is all about, and I'll give it to them, it sure does it well. There were a ton of instances in which I really didn't want to get out, just so I could mine a little bit more and maybe discover new minerals or a undiscovered cave, and the gratification once I sold all I had on was spectacular.
The whole thing is about, quite literally, forging your own path; the three main zones do pull some strings to make you go to certain areas, but overall, you and only you is the one that decides what rock will you put you pickaxe to use. Some have said that the game has a ''Metroidvania'' aspect, and I'd actually have to disagree; yes, you get upgrades that make you do new stuff and in some cases that new stuff is needed to get something you left behind, but those cases are entirely optional, so when you do get a new flashy thing, is always for overcoming obstacles that come right after you got them, so while it lacks that oomf that makes ''Metroidvanias'' feel just right, it does have an extremely well-paced feeling of constant progression... shame that the pacing in the story went to fuckville while all this was happening.
It's apparent SteamWorld Dig wanted to be more grand than it appeared at first, and while there's nothing wrong with wanting to tell a story full of lore and that ends with the murder of a God, I feel that the pursuit for this bigger narrative that doesn't end up being that interesting or well told really damages the potential that was already there. There aren't really character interactions, nor between them, not even with Rusty, the main character (aside the ones with Dorothy at the beginning). The main town doesn't feel alive, everyone is just kinda there, waiting for you to either sell or buy: it all revolves around you, which might work at first since it’s the point, the fact that you are the one that brought life back to the town, but it ends up making the whole thing feeling binary. It's the golden rush, more so Rusty's golden rush, everything depends on your moola a nothing else, which it's a bigger shame considering the first time characters interact is actually really funny and nice and you want more of it... except that it's at the END OF THE GAME.
The world feeling artificial is also something that affects the rest of the areas: enemies have contracted the Goomba syndrome, only moving and very little else, and that makes it so encounters are repetitive and samey, and it's not like the combat it's interesting enough to compensate. The main caves offer some interesting level design, but most of the optional ones are just bland and the challenge they propose it's mediocre at best and very boring at worst.
Oh, and also, the game ends with a backtracking section, but honestly, it's not infuriating enough to get mad at, nor is it interesting enough to be compelling. It just... happens, I don't know why, but it sure does.
I think that's the biggest flaw: this world may be cool and have pretty looks and awesome music, but it never does enough to make you immerse yourself in it. The biggest example that I think shows all of this, is how across the entire game and at the very end, they keep telling Rusty how he has changed, how he's has left behind his old self and almost become something new, and yeah, the upgrades I've gotten do pose a difference... it never feels like they changed Rusty in any way, in great part because none of the changes are shown visually (which would be expected considering the point the game is trying to make) and also we never see the impact these upgrades have in Rusty as a robot, in fact, I barely know who Rusty even is! His quiet demeanor makes it impossible, and makes the ending, and experience for that matter, have much, much less of an impact.
At the end, SteamWorld Dig does one thing well, it may do it very well, but ultimately, it feels lesser than it could have been... how lucky SteamWorld Dig 2 exists, huh?
Yeah, I actually played the sequel before the original, I may do a full review for it in the future, but it makes me happy to know that even if the series had this kind of rocky beginning, the next entry managed to be one hell of an improvement in every aspect, which actually makes this one more worth it to play, if only to appreciate better what comes next.
It’s a fun enough adventure, with charming southern robots and about finding diamonds, and even if the game itself isn’t one, it sure has value… also the Shiners kinda look like goblins and that’s rad as hell. Goblins are fucking awesome
I believe that games that base their gameplay around a routine or repeating a certain action over and over again without being tiresome are deserving of praising only because they manage to pull off something like that, and SteamWorld Dig is one of those games: is an experience about mining and very little else, and as much as I'm gonna dig into its problems (I need to be stopped) the fact that at no point I goy annoyed at the idea of just going down and down is a huge accomplishment of its own.
It fully plays with the routine of being a robot miner: going down, mining a bit, exploring caves, getting abilities, going up, selling materials, buying more upgrades, going down and repeat. That's basically what the entire game is all about, and I'll give it to them, it sure does it well. There were a ton of instances in which I really didn't want to get out, just so I could mine a little bit more and maybe discover new minerals or a undiscovered cave, and the gratification once I sold all I had on was spectacular.
The whole thing is about, quite literally, forging your own path; the three main zones do pull some strings to make you go to certain areas, but overall, you and only you is the one that decides what rock will you put you pickaxe to use. Some have said that the game has a ''Metroidvania'' aspect, and I'd actually have to disagree; yes, you get upgrades that make you do new stuff and in some cases that new stuff is needed to get something you left behind, but those cases are entirely optional, so when you do get a new flashy thing, is always for overcoming obstacles that come right after you got them, so while it lacks that oomf that makes ''Metroidvanias'' feel just right, it does have an extremely well-paced feeling of constant progression... shame that the pacing in the story went to fuckville while all this was happening.
It's apparent SteamWorld Dig wanted to be more grand than it appeared at first, and while there's nothing wrong with wanting to tell a story full of lore and that ends with the murder of a God, I feel that the pursuit for this bigger narrative that doesn't end up being that interesting or well told really damages the potential that was already there. There aren't really character interactions, nor between them, not even with Rusty, the main character (aside the ones with Dorothy at the beginning). The main town doesn't feel alive, everyone is just kinda there, waiting for you to either sell or buy: it all revolves around you, which might work at first since it’s the point, the fact that you are the one that brought life back to the town, but it ends up making the whole thing feeling binary. It's the golden rush, more so Rusty's golden rush, everything depends on your moola a nothing else, which it's a bigger shame considering the first time characters interact is actually really funny and nice and you want more of it... except that it's at the END OF THE GAME.
The world feeling artificial is also something that affects the rest of the areas: enemies have contracted the Goomba syndrome, only moving and very little else, and that makes it so encounters are repetitive and samey, and it's not like the combat it's interesting enough to compensate. The main caves offer some interesting level design, but most of the optional ones are just bland and the challenge they propose it's mediocre at best and very boring at worst.
Oh, and also, the game ends with a backtracking section, but honestly, it's not infuriating enough to get mad at, nor is it interesting enough to be compelling. It just... happens, I don't know why, but it sure does.
I think that's the biggest flaw: this world may be cool and have pretty looks and awesome music, but it never does enough to make you immerse yourself in it. The biggest example that I think shows all of this, is how across the entire game and at the very end, they keep telling Rusty how he has changed, how he's has left behind his old self and almost become something new, and yeah, the upgrades I've gotten do pose a difference... it never feels like they changed Rusty in any way, in great part because none of the changes are shown visually (which would be expected considering the point the game is trying to make) and also we never see the impact these upgrades have in Rusty as a robot, in fact, I barely know who Rusty even is! His quiet demeanor makes it impossible, and makes the ending, and experience for that matter, have much, much less of an impact.
At the end, SteamWorld Dig does one thing well, it may do it very well, but ultimately, it feels lesser than it could have been... how lucky SteamWorld Dig 2 exists, huh?
Yeah, I actually played the sequel before the original, I may do a full review for it in the future, but it makes me happy to know that even if the series had this kind of rocky beginning, the next entry managed to be one hell of an improvement in every aspect, which actually makes this one more worth it to play, if only to appreciate better what comes next.
It’s a fun enough adventure, with charming southern robots and about finding diamonds, and even if the game itself isn’t one, it sure has value… also the Shiners kinda look like goblins and that’s rad as hell. Goblins are fucking awesome
2023
Watch me lose the little credibility I had by saying that a fucking Grimace game that runs on a Game Boy Color is better than Crash Bandicoot.
I should preface by being completely honest and say that my connection with McDonald's mascots has been absolutely minimal over the years, the only one I've ever seen on TV being this absolute monstrosity. I've barely had any contact with the Hamburglar, the Touhou funny clown, the one that shall not be named and, of course, the good ol' purple nub is no exception, and the biggest achievement this game accomplished was making me feel nostalgic for characters I was exposed to only because of the internet. I say this but I also must be one of the four motherfuckers that knows that Grimace has canonically mentioned his grandma; I really don't know why I know this information when I didn't even know who Birdie was until now.
The fact this can be played in a GBC is already really cool, but playing it in web browser was also extremely charming. It SCREAMS of 90’s product in the best way possible, and yes, I mean product; it goes for the most ad-game vibe possible and it rocks at it: the product placement, the way everything looks (including the web-site), the characters talking in internet slang, to even Grimace fucking skating; it’s an amalgamation of the 90’s and internet era advertising and it’s so apologetic and obvious it oozes charm. They embraced the absurdity, while it still serves as a kind of advertising, and it’s the first time in my life a game of this sort doesn’t even annoy me once.
The gameplay also screams od 90’s tie-in game!... And by that I mean it’s bad!
Well that’s a bit of a exaggeration, it’s just that the skating controls are sometimes infuriatingly loose and imprecise, especially in hard (WARNING: DO NOT PLAY GRIMACE’S BIRTHDAY ON THE HARD CONTROLS SETTING, WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE), and the rest of the platforming stages are nothing especial at all… which kinda adds to the vibe of it all.
The game is what it is: a really short game that doesn’t shine in anything, just as most games of its genre, and the fact that this time is by all means intentional adds a lot of value in a weird, twisted way. It really perplexed me that something like this was requested by the company itself and not done by fans out of parody and love, ‘cause that what it feels like; it isn’t anything too bombastic or great, it’s just lovely.
Take it away, Lee Greenwood
I should preface by being completely honest and say that my connection with McDonald's mascots has been absolutely minimal over the years, the only one I've ever seen on TV being this absolute monstrosity. I've barely had any contact with the Hamburglar, the Touhou funny clown, the one that shall not be named and, of course, the good ol' purple nub is no exception, and the biggest achievement this game accomplished was making me feel nostalgic for characters I was exposed to only because of the internet. I say this but I also must be one of the four motherfuckers that knows that Grimace has canonically mentioned his grandma; I really don't know why I know this information when I didn't even know who Birdie was until now.
The fact this can be played in a GBC is already really cool, but playing it in web browser was also extremely charming. It SCREAMS of 90’s product in the best way possible, and yes, I mean product; it goes for the most ad-game vibe possible and it rocks at it: the product placement, the way everything looks (including the web-site), the characters talking in internet slang, to even Grimace fucking skating; it’s an amalgamation of the 90’s and internet era advertising and it’s so apologetic and obvious it oozes charm. They embraced the absurdity, while it still serves as a kind of advertising, and it’s the first time in my life a game of this sort doesn’t even annoy me once.
The gameplay also screams od 90’s tie-in game!... And by that I mean it’s bad!
Well that’s a bit of a exaggeration, it’s just that the skating controls are sometimes infuriatingly loose and imprecise, especially in hard (WARNING: DO NOT PLAY GRIMACE’S BIRTHDAY ON THE HARD CONTROLS SETTING, WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE), and the rest of the platforming stages are nothing especial at all… which kinda adds to the vibe of it all.
The game is what it is: a really short game that doesn’t shine in anything, just as most games of its genre, and the fact that this time is by all means intentional adds a lot of value in a weird, twisted way. It really perplexed me that something like this was requested by the company itself and not done by fans out of parody and love, ‘cause that what it feels like; it isn’t anything too bombastic or great, it’s just lovely.
Take it away, Lee Greenwood
2004
Sooooooooooo I played this via some methods that Mr. Miyamoto and the Nintendo lawyers would consider ''problematic'', but guess what, the game never released here on Europe, so it's not illegal if I didn't have any way to play it!... That's how it works, right?
I initially intended to skip over this one, one of the main reasons being because after playing WarioWare: Touched!, I really wasn’t all that keen on playing another portable title focused on another control gimmick, but I remembered some of its minigames appear in WarioWare: Gold and seeing how some people actually have some really fond memories of this one, I decided to give it a chance, it’s not like it would take much of my time to beat anyway. However, my biggest concern of this having similar problems to Touched! was still very much present, and after playing it, it does have a ton of similarities with the title that would come after… while also being even more fun than the first title and so far the best game in the series I’ve played… HOW?!!!!
How in the flying fu-Paratroopa does a game focused solely on gyro control as a gimmick, one that could be even more limiting than touch screen controls, manages to be just such a fantastic time that knows how to use its mechanics to its fullest potential and having a 10 out of 10 minigame selection ALL THE WHILE it keeps the insanity of the series completely intact and the humor is on point? Who the paratro-fuck designed this game????
Luckily, I think I have the answer to all these questions: yes, the whole game is simply controlled by twisting the system and, after Kat & Ana’s stage, pressing the button A when needed, but at no point you feel like you are repeating the same actions; you are definitely performing them, but the minigames are so incredibly varied and throw ideas non-stop that it really doesn’t feel like that, which was precisely the biggest flaw that Touched! did. There are some minigames that share some DNA, but Twisted! is a master at differentiating them enough so you don’t even think about it, almost every single one of them is a hit, and the boss micro-games are both unexpected and fun (9-Volt’s final game specially, holy hell what a fantastic send-off to that stage). It also really helps that the visuals and sound design are on point, and that, coupled with the fact that the actions you are perming require your constant movement and reflexes and how the games are perfectly designed around the idea that you always know what’s happening at every moment, gives in return a fantastic sensation of feedback: you feel as if you are directly performing these actions, and despite their brevity, it leaves a huge impact. Add in that from a certain point you also need to press A to perform certain actions, and we have an absolute bat-shit and chaotic mix that’s just so, so fun and addicting. It really feels like each stage explores a new way to use the gyroscope, the Orbulon and Dr.Crygor’s stages being fantastic examples of variations that really mark a difference, and then there are the spins that the game has inside itself, like the WarioWatch stage, which is such a perfect idea and fit for this series I’m almost mad it wasn’t here since the beginning. This are only examples tho, every character’s stage here is fantastic, and also surpringly challenging of all the games of the series I’ve played, this is the one I’ve lost the most by a long shot, which seems appropriate since otherwise it would be the briefest out of all the games.
In everything regarding both presentation and pacing, is exactly it was in the original WarioWare but perfected: it’s crazy and unexpected, fast yet comprehensible, it’s fucking Wario, babyyyyyyyyyyyy! My notion of this being a quick spinoff within the series was quickly shattered as I began playing, they went hard on every single aspect possible and the game never slows down. Themes are once again a banger and while I overall prefer the first game’s soundtrack, this one still works really well and there are some that give you the feeling for each character even better. And the humor… we truly have achieved the funny over here. The absurdity levels are unprecedented, and it came to a point where I didn’t even try to wonder what would happen next.
It’s clear that the next entry picked up a ton from this one, or maybe both where designed in tandem considering how close they released within each other, but whatever the case, one thing is clear: Twisted absolutely knew what it was doing, while Touched got lost along the way. I see this one as a true sequel with all the letters of the word, it both expanded and changed the basis of WarioWare and turned into something different, but something that worked, and even if the base game is still pretty short and some of the secondary content is just fun for a minute or so, this is the most fun I’ve had with the series and there’s no possible contest. I’m so glad I decided to play it, and it taught me once again to not judge a game by its gimmick, and this time I’ll try to not forget the lesson…
… I’ll say however that this game introduced 18-Volts’s terryfiying gums and it gave the name ‘’Dinosaur Pizza’’ to an evil pizza company. That slander alone should take off at the very least 8 stars, but I’ll let it slide this time since JIMMY T. IS BACK WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
I initially intended to skip over this one, one of the main reasons being because after playing WarioWare: Touched!, I really wasn’t all that keen on playing another portable title focused on another control gimmick, but I remembered some of its minigames appear in WarioWare: Gold and seeing how some people actually have some really fond memories of this one, I decided to give it a chance, it’s not like it would take much of my time to beat anyway. However, my biggest concern of this having similar problems to Touched! was still very much present, and after playing it, it does have a ton of similarities with the title that would come after… while also being even more fun than the first title and so far the best game in the series I’ve played… HOW?!!!!
How in the flying fu-Paratroopa does a game focused solely on gyro control as a gimmick, one that could be even more limiting than touch screen controls, manages to be just such a fantastic time that knows how to use its mechanics to its fullest potential and having a 10 out of 10 minigame selection ALL THE WHILE it keeps the insanity of the series completely intact and the humor is on point? Who the paratro-fuck designed this game????
Luckily, I think I have the answer to all these questions: yes, the whole game is simply controlled by twisting the system and, after Kat & Ana’s stage, pressing the button A when needed, but at no point you feel like you are repeating the same actions; you are definitely performing them, but the minigames are so incredibly varied and throw ideas non-stop that it really doesn’t feel like that, which was precisely the biggest flaw that Touched! did. There are some minigames that share some DNA, but Twisted! is a master at differentiating them enough so you don’t even think about it, almost every single one of them is a hit, and the boss micro-games are both unexpected and fun (9-Volt’s final game specially, holy hell what a fantastic send-off to that stage). It also really helps that the visuals and sound design are on point, and that, coupled with the fact that the actions you are perming require your constant movement and reflexes and how the games are perfectly designed around the idea that you always know what’s happening at every moment, gives in return a fantastic sensation of feedback: you feel as if you are directly performing these actions, and despite their brevity, it leaves a huge impact. Add in that from a certain point you also need to press A to perform certain actions, and we have an absolute bat-shit and chaotic mix that’s just so, so fun and addicting. It really feels like each stage explores a new way to use the gyroscope, the Orbulon and Dr.Crygor’s stages being fantastic examples of variations that really mark a difference, and then there are the spins that the game has inside itself, like the WarioWatch stage, which is such a perfect idea and fit for this series I’m almost mad it wasn’t here since the beginning. This are only examples tho, every character’s stage here is fantastic, and also surpringly challenging of all the games of the series I’ve played, this is the one I’ve lost the most by a long shot, which seems appropriate since otherwise it would be the briefest out of all the games.
In everything regarding both presentation and pacing, is exactly it was in the original WarioWare but perfected: it’s crazy and unexpected, fast yet comprehensible, it’s fucking Wario, babyyyyyyyyyyyy! My notion of this being a quick spinoff within the series was quickly shattered as I began playing, they went hard on every single aspect possible and the game never slows down. Themes are once again a banger and while I overall prefer the first game’s soundtrack, this one still works really well and there are some that give you the feeling for each character even better. And the humor… we truly have achieved the funny over here. The absurdity levels are unprecedented, and it came to a point where I didn’t even try to wonder what would happen next.
It’s clear that the next entry picked up a ton from this one, or maybe both where designed in tandem considering how close they released within each other, but whatever the case, one thing is clear: Twisted absolutely knew what it was doing, while Touched got lost along the way. I see this one as a true sequel with all the letters of the word, it both expanded and changed the basis of WarioWare and turned into something different, but something that worked, and even if the base game is still pretty short and some of the secondary content is just fun for a minute or so, this is the most fun I’ve had with the series and there’s no possible contest. I’m so glad I decided to play it, and it taught me once again to not judge a game by its gimmick, and this time I’ll try to not forget the lesson…
… I’ll say however that this game introduced 18-Volts’s terryfiying gums and it gave the name ‘’Dinosaur Pizza’’ to an evil pizza company. That slander alone should take off at the very least 8 stars, but I’ll let it slide this time since JIMMY T. IS BACK WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
2004
At one point they say the line ''Gamers, rejoice!'' and I have no idea if they even intended for it to be funny, but it's fucking hysterical and hardest the game made me laugh... that and everything related to Jimmy T., but I digress.
It’s pretty safe to say that Nintendo was... cautions regarding the DS possible success, to say the least. They never treated it the Game Boy Advanced successor it would eventually become, fearful that both ''hardcores'' and ''causals'' would see it as a lame and stupid product with dumb gimmicks. And so, the marketing races began, and as such we got wonderful and unforgettable lines as ''touching is good''... yeah that's going to be a no for me, dawg.
But you can't sell a console only with questionable marketing lines, you also need DA GAMES, and the DS was an especially daring offer, so it REALLY needed DA GAMES that showcases its capabilities if it wanted to convince anybody, and DA GAMES it sure had, and WarioWare Touched was the one that would show the world that touching was, in fact, good… kinda.
WarioWare:Touched feels more like a kind of re-take instead of a full on sequel, it doesn’t really expand on the ideas the first game presented, but rather puts on a spin on the mechanical basis of the game, now being purely touch screen focused, while keeping the general ideas and structure, but the end result of this experimentation is… a game that kinda feels like a way to present the concepts of the DS and very little else, ‘cause not only the minigames have seen a fall in quality, but also the general presentation just feels… off.
But it would be mean of me to say that the game doesn’t have any qualities, especially when it does have a few. For one, and for what it is, it’s still damn enjoyable and creative, at its most basic level it’s still the same old fun and imaginative series, still presenting bat-shit ideas and concepts for both its micro-games and characters, of which we get an absurd brand-new quantity of the former and some new faces of the latter. It already new how to use the dual screens not so much for gameplay’s sake, but more so for comedic purposes, and it’s honestly pretty effective and some moments got a chuckle out of me. We also get to see more of Jimmy T.’s family and his brothers act as the Mini-boss remixes this time around, which adds like 100 points… which I’m gonna immediately deduct since Orbulon doesn’t get his own stage, that’s just unforgivable.
They absolutely knew that there were things that needed a bit of tweaking as well as many others that were perfectly fine as they were, so it perplexes me even more when in a way, the game feels like a shell of its former entry and does a lot of dumb mistakes the original never even came close to doing. The presentation is still acceptable, but I can’t scratch off the feeling that something was lost along the way, maybe it’s the way everything is paced (we will get to that in a moment) or that both looks and music have seen a downgrade and there was clearly much less attention to detail this time around, but whatever it is, even if it isn’t apparent, it can be felt across the experience. The pace is all over the place, when once there was a clear sense of speed and timing in every part of the game, now everything takes longer to even begin and lacks the same punch it previously had. Some story cinematics are way longer that they were previously ever were and some others are way short, and while inconsistency was part of what made WarioWare interesting in the first place, this time around it’s done in a way it feels… of, like what once was a game that went 1000 miles per hour, now alternes between 1500 and 200mph in a jarring way. It also affects the way the games are incorporated into the small chapters: before they took place during the action, and you winning them served meant the character would also overcome the problem presented to them, be it delivering a passenger to its destination or defeating a lord of death and darkness. Here tho? A problem will be presented in the initial cinematic… and resolved in the initial cinematic; THEN you play the minigames, and after that a final cinematic plays to make one last joke. There are some outliers, like Kat & Anya and Ashley’s stages that feel more like the original entry, but there are also even worse case, like Dr Crygor, where the games just… happen for no reason, and an even more insulting case is Mona, where it seems like the micro-games actually take place during the conflict, but it turns out that no! It didn’t affect shit and the problem is resolved immediately after by an completely random action, and that combined with the rest of the stages just felt like Wario himself wanted to do a bit of trolling, and you know what Mr.Wario? Maybe if you weren’t so occupied with the funny the micro games would have been way better!... Oh yeah, the micro games, I should talk about those, shouldn’t I?...
They are… fine? A few of them are actually pretty inspired and visually interesting, but overall they are just… well, they are just what you would expect to be able to do with a touch screen. Even if the context varies and the fast paced craziness is still present in a way in them, they sometimes feel like I’m repeating the same action over and over. Each if the stages present new games that revolve a specific action in a attempt to keep things varied, but not only they end up feeling too similar either way, all the games of the same type are just the exact same action but with different visuals, even with Mike, the only stage that isn’t touch screen related, you end up doing the same thing over and over in its micro-games (not that there’s much that there could be done with the DS microphone either way, but I digress). Even the boss stages, which weren’t exactly the crème de la crème in the first game, they were at least enjoyable and FELT like perfect ways to conclude each part… here there are some that last as long as normal microgames, and some are the most boring visually wise of them all… yippie…
I really don’t know what happened behind scenes, maybe the was given very little time or mandated what this game had to be by some higher ups, or maybe nothing wrong went with it and I’m just being a over-complicating things. Sometimes a team is unable to make lightning strike twice on the same spot, and whatever the circumstances, that’s what happened this time, and it’s a huge same. It still has its moments and retains some of the absurdity of the original, but it does a lot worse and it doesn’t compare favorably to it in practically any regard, and it isn’t distinct enough to justify its short-comings.
You are out of touch AND out of time, Mr Wario…
It’s pretty safe to say that Nintendo was... cautions regarding the DS possible success, to say the least. They never treated it the Game Boy Advanced successor it would eventually become, fearful that both ''hardcores'' and ''causals'' would see it as a lame and stupid product with dumb gimmicks. And so, the marketing races began, and as such we got wonderful and unforgettable lines as ''touching is good''... yeah that's going to be a no for me, dawg.
But you can't sell a console only with questionable marketing lines, you also need DA GAMES, and the DS was an especially daring offer, so it REALLY needed DA GAMES that showcases its capabilities if it wanted to convince anybody, and DA GAMES it sure had, and WarioWare Touched was the one that would show the world that touching was, in fact, good… kinda.
WarioWare:Touched feels more like a kind of re-take instead of a full on sequel, it doesn’t really expand on the ideas the first game presented, but rather puts on a spin on the mechanical basis of the game, now being purely touch screen focused, while keeping the general ideas and structure, but the end result of this experimentation is… a game that kinda feels like a way to present the concepts of the DS and very little else, ‘cause not only the minigames have seen a fall in quality, but also the general presentation just feels… off.
But it would be mean of me to say that the game doesn’t have any qualities, especially when it does have a few. For one, and for what it is, it’s still damn enjoyable and creative, at its most basic level it’s still the same old fun and imaginative series, still presenting bat-shit ideas and concepts for both its micro-games and characters, of which we get an absurd brand-new quantity of the former and some new faces of the latter. It already new how to use the dual screens not so much for gameplay’s sake, but more so for comedic purposes, and it’s honestly pretty effective and some moments got a chuckle out of me. We also get to see more of Jimmy T.’s family and his brothers act as the Mini-boss remixes this time around, which adds like 100 points… which I’m gonna immediately deduct since Orbulon doesn’t get his own stage, that’s just unforgivable.
They absolutely knew that there were things that needed a bit of tweaking as well as many others that were perfectly fine as they were, so it perplexes me even more when in a way, the game feels like a shell of its former entry and does a lot of dumb mistakes the original never even came close to doing. The presentation is still acceptable, but I can’t scratch off the feeling that something was lost along the way, maybe it’s the way everything is paced (we will get to that in a moment) or that both looks and music have seen a downgrade and there was clearly much less attention to detail this time around, but whatever it is, even if it isn’t apparent, it can be felt across the experience. The pace is all over the place, when once there was a clear sense of speed and timing in every part of the game, now everything takes longer to even begin and lacks the same punch it previously had. Some story cinematics are way longer that they were previously ever were and some others are way short, and while inconsistency was part of what made WarioWare interesting in the first place, this time around it’s done in a way it feels… of, like what once was a game that went 1000 miles per hour, now alternes between 1500 and 200mph in a jarring way. It also affects the way the games are incorporated into the small chapters: before they took place during the action, and you winning them served meant the character would also overcome the problem presented to them, be it delivering a passenger to its destination or defeating a lord of death and darkness. Here tho? A problem will be presented in the initial cinematic… and resolved in the initial cinematic; THEN you play the minigames, and after that a final cinematic plays to make one last joke. There are some outliers, like Kat & Anya and Ashley’s stages that feel more like the original entry, but there are also even worse case, like Dr Crygor, where the games just… happen for no reason, and an even more insulting case is Mona, where it seems like the micro-games actually take place during the conflict, but it turns out that no! It didn’t affect shit and the problem is resolved immediately after by an completely random action, and that combined with the rest of the stages just felt like Wario himself wanted to do a bit of trolling, and you know what Mr.Wario? Maybe if you weren’t so occupied with the funny the micro games would have been way better!... Oh yeah, the micro games, I should talk about those, shouldn’t I?...
They are… fine? A few of them are actually pretty inspired and visually interesting, but overall they are just… well, they are just what you would expect to be able to do with a touch screen. Even if the context varies and the fast paced craziness is still present in a way in them, they sometimes feel like I’m repeating the same action over and over. Each if the stages present new games that revolve a specific action in a attempt to keep things varied, but not only they end up feeling too similar either way, all the games of the same type are just the exact same action but with different visuals, even with Mike, the only stage that isn’t touch screen related, you end up doing the same thing over and over in its micro-games (not that there’s much that there could be done with the DS microphone either way, but I digress). Even the boss stages, which weren’t exactly the crème de la crème in the first game, they were at least enjoyable and FELT like perfect ways to conclude each part… here there are some that last as long as normal microgames, and some are the most boring visually wise of them all… yippie…
I really don’t know what happened behind scenes, maybe the was given very little time or mandated what this game had to be by some higher ups, or maybe nothing wrong went with it and I’m just being a over-complicating things. Sometimes a team is unable to make lightning strike twice on the same spot, and whatever the circumstances, that’s what happened this time, and it’s a huge same. It still has its moments and retains some of the absurdity of the original, but it does a lot worse and it doesn’t compare favorably to it in practically any regard, and it isn’t distinct enough to justify its short-comings.
You are out of touch AND out of time, Mr Wario…
In this game we witness the tale of Wario, a man that enters the videogame industry just for the money, and when it realizes it takes effort to make one, he decides to do one based around short minigames and using his friends to do all the work for him, and in the game's ending he tries to steal everyone's money and says he hates everybody.... and somehow, he's still a better CEO than Bobby Kotick.
I have had my couple of WarioWare rides over the years, being able to play the games when staying at friend's houses, but when it comes to actually owning and beating them... yeah let's just say that I'm not Mr. Wario MacWario's best client.
But I decided to finally to finally give a try to the past entries of my favorite capitalist pig, and what better place to star that with the Ware that started it all? And honestly... I already knew it was going to be good or at the very least enjoyable, but I never could have expect it to actually like it so much; like, despite being the first game of the series, which propms it to have the terrible and sever First-Game Syndrome, I genuely belive this a better game than Get it Together, the last entry on the series and the only one I had beaten until now.
They clearly knew what they wanted to go for since the beginning: there's a well-defined sense of weird style and irreverence across the entire game, which in a way was to be expected. Wario games have always stived to be a kind of antithesis to the Mario formula, in both looks and sounds, but it's in WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgames! where Wario explored new horizons that its father series a never did, and the result was a perfect fit for the character.
The colors and shapes, the extravagant character design, the more episodic format of each of the bizarre character stories (never in a million years would I expect to see on a Nintendo game a character running away from police in a motorbike while a monkey throws bananas at the police cars, but it’s real and it’s beautiful), and the fantastic sound design and music, energetic and up-beat in its own weird way , and even when they re-use some Wario Land 4 music pieces, it still feels right and adds instead of taking away from the experience.
And it all goes so fast It feels like the game is at 2x speed, but it just works. The speed of everything makes it so you can barely understand or process what the hell is happening , but enough so you can appreciate it and have fun with it, and that also goes for what makes the bulk of the game: the minigames.
There are a few minigames that are overly simple, incredibly similar with each other and even those that don’t make it known too clearly what you can and can’t do despite the overall controls being pretty straightforward, which is a huge deal considering how fast paced everything is and the limited number of opportunities you have. Good thing is that most of them are actually worth more than a buck: original and entertaining, weird and unique, each and everyone having a clear visual identity that can go from crude drawings to just photos of real-life stuff; it makes inconsistency its biggest strength, and it’s that what makes you not being able to stop looking at it… and it’s also just really fucking funny and absurd, which is also a plus.
Even with a lack of varierity of the modes and Jimmy T. being re-used some times as a kind of mini-boss (which depending on who you ask that’s a positive or a negative, I consider a negative for repetition’s sake but.. it’s fucking Jimmy T., you don’t mess with Jimmy T., you don’t mess with the music ), even with its flaws, the amount of fun and even challenge in its short campaign makes it more than worth it. There’s nothing like WarioWare, at least not at the time of its release, and at least not as fun and goofy.
We did it everybody. We are Wario Gaming.
I have had my couple of WarioWare rides over the years, being able to play the games when staying at friend's houses, but when it comes to actually owning and beating them... yeah let's just say that I'm not Mr. Wario MacWario's best client.
But I decided to finally to finally give a try to the past entries of my favorite capitalist pig, and what better place to star that with the Ware that started it all? And honestly... I already knew it was going to be good or at the very least enjoyable, but I never could have expect it to actually like it so much; like, despite being the first game of the series, which propms it to have the terrible and sever First-Game Syndrome, I genuely belive this a better game than Get it Together, the last entry on the series and the only one I had beaten until now.
They clearly knew what they wanted to go for since the beginning: there's a well-defined sense of weird style and irreverence across the entire game, which in a way was to be expected. Wario games have always stived to be a kind of antithesis to the Mario formula, in both looks and sounds, but it's in WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgames! where Wario explored new horizons that its father series a never did, and the result was a perfect fit for the character.
The colors and shapes, the extravagant character design, the more episodic format of each of the bizarre character stories (never in a million years would I expect to see on a Nintendo game a character running away from police in a motorbike while a monkey throws bananas at the police cars, but it’s real and it’s beautiful), and the fantastic sound design and music, energetic and up-beat in its own weird way , and even when they re-use some Wario Land 4 music pieces, it still feels right and adds instead of taking away from the experience.
And it all goes so fast It feels like the game is at 2x speed, but it just works. The speed of everything makes it so you can barely understand or process what the hell is happening , but enough so you can appreciate it and have fun with it, and that also goes for what makes the bulk of the game: the minigames.
There are a few minigames that are overly simple, incredibly similar with each other and even those that don’t make it known too clearly what you can and can’t do despite the overall controls being pretty straightforward, which is a huge deal considering how fast paced everything is and the limited number of opportunities you have. Good thing is that most of them are actually worth more than a buck: original and entertaining, weird and unique, each and everyone having a clear visual identity that can go from crude drawings to just photos of real-life stuff; it makes inconsistency its biggest strength, and it’s that what makes you not being able to stop looking at it… and it’s also just really fucking funny and absurd, which is also a plus.
Even with a lack of varierity of the modes and Jimmy T. being re-used some times as a kind of mini-boss (which depending on who you ask that’s a positive or a negative, I consider a negative for repetition’s sake but.. it’s fucking Jimmy T., you don’t mess with Jimmy T., you don’t mess with the music ), even with its flaws, the amount of fun and even challenge in its short campaign makes it more than worth it. There’s nothing like WarioWare, at least not at the time of its release, and at least not as fun and goofy.
We did it everybody. We are Wario Gaming.
2022
I play the game.
There are a ton of robots.
This is the worst haiku ever this isn't even funny why did I even make this
Inspiration is a key part of the creative process, we are all inspired by an work of art in some way or another, be it a game, a movie, a book, a painting or whatever you can think off: if something can evoke a feeling of any kind it's very likely that someone will use it as a source for inspiration when creating its own work, which isn't a bad thing in the slightest!... or at least necessarily. As I see it, there are three common possible results when a game takes a lot of inspiration from another one: it can take the reference material as a basis and from there go above and beyond and form its own identity, it can be a sort of cute experience with clear nods to other works but still having its own ideas and spins that make it have at least a bit of value, or it can feel extremely derivative and make you wonder why are you wasting your time playing it instead of the better work it’s based on.
Somehow Haiku, the Robot is all three at the same time.
I needed to start this review like this because Haiku it’s a great example of a game with a great basis and ideas of its own can sometimes be clouded and try to replicate the same feelings other works produced, in this case being both Hollow Knight and the Metroid series, without completely understanding what made those games special and lacking their polish and attention to detail, it’s an amalgam of really good stuff and really jarring and disappointing stuff that I still don’t fully know if it’s better or worse than what I already think it is.
And the fact I’m in the middle of this conundrum in the first place it’s a huge shame, because, and I can’t stress this enough, Haiku, the Robot does have some fantastic ideas of its own! The enemy and boss design is simple yet ingenious, the healing mechanic being also tied to the money is a really cool idea that for the most part works really well, some areas like the Factory Facility and the Forgotten Ruins are pretty inspired and fun to traverse and the feeling of progression is steady and the upgrades feel like they have true impact, which is some a really important thing in Metroidvanias specially and they pull it off pretty well.
The problem here is not that Haiku doesn’t have good stuff, ‘cause it sure does, but overall, I can’t scratch this feeling of deja vú, a feeling that’s at every corner of the game; in its story, its areas, hell even the way enemies behave and characters talk, they smell too much of its inspirations, except that not only they all lack the oomf that made them especial in the first place, but there not being as much attention to detail, as much development in certain quest and areas, as much emphasis on characters or combat and as much originality in the boss fights (seriously, it’s mind-boggling how some bosses are exactly the same as some in Hollow Knight only with another appearance, and this not me being a HK nerd, like there are bosses that follow the EXACT design patterns as the ones in the funny bug game and it really broke my immersion at times).
And even with all that said, it has flaws on its own: the chip system seems cool at first, but there are some, like the fast healing one, that break the game in half, others like the one that shows secrets without really revealing there and useful, but some are just too powerful and feel like an obligatory use, and I’d go as far to say that some should had just been full-blown upgrades. And also, and maybe this is just a me thing, but in the end there’s an attempt at a plot-twist about something which… we already knew. Maybe it was just me who even without caring too much about what was happening caught onto it, but I don’t know, it feels like that information was already told in some ways, and it being the ‘’grand reveal’’ is the equivalent to a Scooby-Doo monster turning out to be a human, only not as funny.
And in the end, all that I’m left with is a profound feeling of bittersweetness, ‘cause the game is fun, is well designed and it has really cool concepts, but it isn’t fully its own thing, it isn’t as special as it should be and it’s attempts at replicating wonder and mystery result in it being lesser that it could have been. This one was a really hard one to write ‘cause It’s just me criticizing a game that in the end I kinda enjoyed and had fun with and clearly was made with a loving passion for metroidvanias and videogames; it’s unique, referencial and deravitive all at the same time, and it’s just sad that I can’t just call it only unique.
However, there’s a robot that references Wall-E, which is not only something that I approve but also made want to watch Wall-E again, and that’s a positive If I’ve ever seen one.
There are a ton of robots.
This is the worst haiku ever this isn't even funny why did I even make this
Inspiration is a key part of the creative process, we are all inspired by an work of art in some way or another, be it a game, a movie, a book, a painting or whatever you can think off: if something can evoke a feeling of any kind it's very likely that someone will use it as a source for inspiration when creating its own work, which isn't a bad thing in the slightest!... or at least necessarily. As I see it, there are three common possible results when a game takes a lot of inspiration from another one: it can take the reference material as a basis and from there go above and beyond and form its own identity, it can be a sort of cute experience with clear nods to other works but still having its own ideas and spins that make it have at least a bit of value, or it can feel extremely derivative and make you wonder why are you wasting your time playing it instead of the better work it’s based on.
Somehow Haiku, the Robot is all three at the same time.
I needed to start this review like this because Haiku it’s a great example of a game with a great basis and ideas of its own can sometimes be clouded and try to replicate the same feelings other works produced, in this case being both Hollow Knight and the Metroid series, without completely understanding what made those games special and lacking their polish and attention to detail, it’s an amalgam of really good stuff and really jarring and disappointing stuff that I still don’t fully know if it’s better or worse than what I already think it is.
And the fact I’m in the middle of this conundrum in the first place it’s a huge shame, because, and I can’t stress this enough, Haiku, the Robot does have some fantastic ideas of its own! The enemy and boss design is simple yet ingenious, the healing mechanic being also tied to the money is a really cool idea that for the most part works really well, some areas like the Factory Facility and the Forgotten Ruins are pretty inspired and fun to traverse and the feeling of progression is steady and the upgrades feel like they have true impact, which is some a really important thing in Metroidvanias specially and they pull it off pretty well.
The problem here is not that Haiku doesn’t have good stuff, ‘cause it sure does, but overall, I can’t scratch this feeling of deja vú, a feeling that’s at every corner of the game; in its story, its areas, hell even the way enemies behave and characters talk, they smell too much of its inspirations, except that not only they all lack the oomf that made them especial in the first place, but there not being as much attention to detail, as much development in certain quest and areas, as much emphasis on characters or combat and as much originality in the boss fights (seriously, it’s mind-boggling how some bosses are exactly the same as some in Hollow Knight only with another appearance, and this not me being a HK nerd, like there are bosses that follow the EXACT design patterns as the ones in the funny bug game and it really broke my immersion at times).
And even with all that said, it has flaws on its own: the chip system seems cool at first, but there are some, like the fast healing one, that break the game in half, others like the one that shows secrets without really revealing there and useful, but some are just too powerful and feel like an obligatory use, and I’d go as far to say that some should had just been full-blown upgrades. And also, and maybe this is just a me thing, but in the end there’s an attempt at a plot-twist about something which… we already knew. Maybe it was just me who even without caring too much about what was happening caught onto it, but I don’t know, it feels like that information was already told in some ways, and it being the ‘’grand reveal’’ is the equivalent to a Scooby-Doo monster turning out to be a human, only not as funny.
And in the end, all that I’m left with is a profound feeling of bittersweetness, ‘cause the game is fun, is well designed and it has really cool concepts, but it isn’t fully its own thing, it isn’t as special as it should be and it’s attempts at replicating wonder and mystery result in it being lesser that it could have been. This one was a really hard one to write ‘cause It’s just me criticizing a game that in the end I kinda enjoyed and had fun with and clearly was made with a loving passion for metroidvanias and videogames; it’s unique, referencial and deravitive all at the same time, and it’s just sad that I can’t just call it only unique.
However, there’s a robot that references Wall-E, which is not only something that I approve but also made want to watch Wall-E again, and that’s a positive If I’ve ever seen one.
2017
First a frog was piloting and now there's a chameleon too?! Everything is allowed these days, next you are going to tell me that a pig piloted as we-- OH GODDAMMIT, PIGMA!
If the original Star Fox left a mark in gaming history for what it was, Star Fox 2 did the same for what it wasn't, or rather for what it couldn't be. A lot of factors, like N64 nearing its release and the incredibly high costs, resulted in the game just... never releasing. It was stated by several developers that the game was indeed fully finished, but never saw the light of day, and was left to wither inside the cold and agonizing walls of the Nintendo archives... or so we thought!
In 2017 it was finally officially released, being included in the SNES Mini as the special 21th game, and it was treated as an HUGE event both by fans and Nintendo itself, one that would be repeated some years later when it released on the NSO, and how not to? The game that never could was finally given the chance to spread its (ar)wings and fly into glory, and after playing it, man, I really got to say that...
...it sure is Star Fox again!... kinda...
Ok, I wanna preface by saying that, taking into account this was set to release 3 years after the original, it really shows it sequel status right off the bat. The game beings with a much more impressive cinematic and in general has more spectacular sequences, the pixel art on the characters is honestly amazing, and above else, the fact it breaks free from the pre-fixated routes and now basically lets you explore the whole Lylat system, selecting the objective you please and having some possible random battles against missiles and the enemy Star Wolf gang in space is a direction I didn't know I needed, but it feels like the natural progression for the series and it has so much potential... and that’s the problem: it has potential, but lets most of it untapped.
Star Fox 2 is flashier and it has bigger ideas, yes, but, just as the progression itself, its surprisingly directionless. Most of the magic and originality the previous iteration had is not only lost and doesn’t have the same kind of impact, but it also completely set aside most of the personality and identity that made it so unique. The almost abstract feeling is scrapped in favor of the redundancy of the asteroid filled space and the boring, samey giant space ships and planetary bases; they repeat over and over, adding enemies yes, but instead of going for original and interesting designs, they just stick to normal space-craft or one similar to animals which, not gonna lie, the enemy robot scorpion is rad as hell, but still. At first, with the whole preventing Corneria from getting to damaged by enemy weapons thing, it really feels like a war is taking place in the system, but five minutes in, it loses all the impact it had and becomes routine, and not a cruel and harsh routine, just a boring one. There are efforts here and there that clearly show they wanted to sell this idea of a conflict at a bigger scale, but it get dragged down by how it all the repetition and the loss of identity of the planets (you don’t get to spend much time on the planets themselves, but in the little while you do, they have little to none identity, like, in this one Venom looks exactly like Corneria did in the original game, which…huh?), and I don’t know about you fellas, but when a game that lasts less than an hour feels repetitive, something might be wrong over here.
I belive that the biggest example of what was lost from game to game is Andross: in the first game his presence is minimal, yet is always present at the same time, he’s incredibly menacing and his fight leaves a huge impact… while in 2 he appears just as the game starts, he says the word ‘’awesome’’ and his final fight is not as impressive or spectacular, in fact is even easier and more tedious… just goes to show that the Ape cube can’t save it all…
And I mean the gameplay is… fine? Is more Star Fox, and the introduction of the combat on ground with the new ship (which I’ve called Duckwing and I believe that’s the best name I’ve come up with in my entire life), how surprisingly hectic and fun it is considering it has tank controls and being able to change the form of the ship anytime you want is a really cool mechanic that makes encounters interesting. Combine that with the better (not by much) framerate and it honestly the combat alone could carry the game!... Too bad the space battles suCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don’t know who was the madman that thought that making all space counters in first person was a good idea, but that, combined with the already mentioned repetition, even in the Star Wolf encounters, and that they make most of the bulk of the game and we are left with the recipe for a good ol’ snore. It isn’t fun, it doesn’t tell anything, it basically pads the experience and its even frustrating… and I don’t know why it had to be like this.
Taking into account its flaws and its short duration I… it’s honestly hard to believe that this game was truly finished. I couldn’t call it bad since there’s still a bunch of cool stuff, but that’s all it feels like, just cool ideas, and instead of them improving on the core idea of the first game, they just left some incredibly good stuff behind, and it honestly just feels like Star Fox because it has the name of the series and Slippy is it, and while I’m glad it exists and it’s ideas went on to inspire other entries in the series, as it stands on its own is… a cool history piece, something which already was, and could have gone beyond that, but just didn’t…
…But the worst thing about is once again tHE COMPANIONS MOTHERFUCKER I KNOW THAT X IS FOR USING THE BOOST STOP OBSTRUCTING MY VISION WITH THE TEXT BOX SHUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
If the original Star Fox left a mark in gaming history for what it was, Star Fox 2 did the same for what it wasn't, or rather for what it couldn't be. A lot of factors, like N64 nearing its release and the incredibly high costs, resulted in the game just... never releasing. It was stated by several developers that the game was indeed fully finished, but never saw the light of day, and was left to wither inside the cold and agonizing walls of the Nintendo archives... or so we thought!
In 2017 it was finally officially released, being included in the SNES Mini as the special 21th game, and it was treated as an HUGE event both by fans and Nintendo itself, one that would be repeated some years later when it released on the NSO, and how not to? The game that never could was finally given the chance to spread its (ar)wings and fly into glory, and after playing it, man, I really got to say that...
...it sure is Star Fox again!... kinda...
Ok, I wanna preface by saying that, taking into account this was set to release 3 years after the original, it really shows it sequel status right off the bat. The game beings with a much more impressive cinematic and in general has more spectacular sequences, the pixel art on the characters is honestly amazing, and above else, the fact it breaks free from the pre-fixated routes and now basically lets you explore the whole Lylat system, selecting the objective you please and having some possible random battles against missiles and the enemy Star Wolf gang in space is a direction I didn't know I needed, but it feels like the natural progression for the series and it has so much potential... and that’s the problem: it has potential, but lets most of it untapped.
Star Fox 2 is flashier and it has bigger ideas, yes, but, just as the progression itself, its surprisingly directionless. Most of the magic and originality the previous iteration had is not only lost and doesn’t have the same kind of impact, but it also completely set aside most of the personality and identity that made it so unique. The almost abstract feeling is scrapped in favor of the redundancy of the asteroid filled space and the boring, samey giant space ships and planetary bases; they repeat over and over, adding enemies yes, but instead of going for original and interesting designs, they just stick to normal space-craft or one similar to animals which, not gonna lie, the enemy robot scorpion is rad as hell, but still. At first, with the whole preventing Corneria from getting to damaged by enemy weapons thing, it really feels like a war is taking place in the system, but five minutes in, it loses all the impact it had and becomes routine, and not a cruel and harsh routine, just a boring one. There are efforts here and there that clearly show they wanted to sell this idea of a conflict at a bigger scale, but it get dragged down by how it all the repetition and the loss of identity of the planets (you don’t get to spend much time on the planets themselves, but in the little while you do, they have little to none identity, like, in this one Venom looks exactly like Corneria did in the original game, which…huh?), and I don’t know about you fellas, but when a game that lasts less than an hour feels repetitive, something might be wrong over here.
I belive that the biggest example of what was lost from game to game is Andross: in the first game his presence is minimal, yet is always present at the same time, he’s incredibly menacing and his fight leaves a huge impact… while in 2 he appears just as the game starts, he says the word ‘’awesome’’ and his final fight is not as impressive or spectacular, in fact is even easier and more tedious… just goes to show that the Ape cube can’t save it all…
And I mean the gameplay is… fine? Is more Star Fox, and the introduction of the combat on ground with the new ship (which I’ve called Duckwing and I believe that’s the best name I’ve come up with in my entire life), how surprisingly hectic and fun it is considering it has tank controls and being able to change the form of the ship anytime you want is a really cool mechanic that makes encounters interesting. Combine that with the better (not by much) framerate and it honestly the combat alone could carry the game!... Too bad the space battles suCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don’t know who was the madman that thought that making all space counters in first person was a good idea, but that, combined with the already mentioned repetition, even in the Star Wolf encounters, and that they make most of the bulk of the game and we are left with the recipe for a good ol’ snore. It isn’t fun, it doesn’t tell anything, it basically pads the experience and its even frustrating… and I don’t know why it had to be like this.
Taking into account its flaws and its short duration I… it’s honestly hard to believe that this game was truly finished. I couldn’t call it bad since there’s still a bunch of cool stuff, but that’s all it feels like, just cool ideas, and instead of them improving on the core idea of the first game, they just left some incredibly good stuff behind, and it honestly just feels like Star Fox because it has the name of the series and Slippy is it, and while I’m glad it exists and it’s ideas went on to inspire other entries in the series, as it stands on its own is… a cool history piece, something which already was, and could have gone beyond that, but just didn’t…
…But the worst thing about is once again tHE COMPANIONS MOTHERFUCKER I KNOW THAT X IS FOR USING THE BOOST STOP OBSTRUCTING MY VISION WITH THE TEXT BOX SHUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
1993
Y'know, I could complain about the extremely choppy framerate, but who needs a stable FPS when you have thE APE CUBE?
There once was a war even greater that the Lylat Wars, known only as the terrible and cruel Bit Wars; even if as a child I did succumb to the tempting and stupid brutality of the console wars, the bit wars are a time I didn't got to live, much less to see. But I do know some things about it, how its players were locked in a race against each others clocks, always raging to be the first to arrive at the stop of progress, or to put it in other words, to see who had the machine that could produce prettier shapes.
It was, by all accounts, a contest to see who had the largest wang, but it was a very good marketing strategy; being able to say in the magazines that you next game would look better than any prior product was going to catch eyes, hell, it still does today in some ways. And that's precisely where Star Fox enters, a showing of how with even 16 bits, you could have the 3D everyone so desires (kinda), an to be honest, to say that Star Fox shines only because of its graphics is both in part true and a disservice to the game.
Star Fox is impressive beyond believe, partially even to this day, to think that THIS was running (or rather walking) on a SNES is something that could only be attributes to some kind of black magic and really fancy chips. It's incredible how, even if its crude in some respects, the presentation holds up so amazingly even to this day; the never fails to communicate where the action is taking place, in big part thanks to the amazing pixelated background, but at the same time it has this kind of surreal and abstract feeling that makes it so incredibly original. The starships of Andross feel like they defy every kind of conventional design or even physic law, they all share this kind of clean and simple color palette that clashes with their complex and confusing nature, but not in a way that feels jarring, but adds to just give designs that truly feel alien to any world, all culminating in Andross' himself, there may be an ape cube under there, but man does is he weird yet imposing and I love it. Also, special mention to the BANGER soundtrack, they managed to capture such a special feeling with it and I understand why so many people like it so much.
The price to pay for the looks is, of course, the extremely choppy framerate; look, personally I don't find it as bothering as others tho, maybe because its consistently bad, but it's true that sometimes it makes it incredibly hard and confusing to distinguish anything, especially when the screen gets filled with enemies.
When this game throws you at ton of stuff at you, it can be HELL to manage it all and extremely confusing when the frames decide to be specially clunky, which is an huge shame because the gameplay and game feeling as a whole is outstanding! The way the ship controls, combined with the set pieces and possibility to change view, it's all so surprisingly fluid and works extremely well, and when you add the fact that you have multiple initial routes and you can even deviate of it... how? How did this come out in 1993?
I think that is where the true value of Star Fox lies, not in the fact that it may be a tool of war or a marketing strategy, but that the impression it causes is genuine, there was a ton of passion put into it and it shows, and despite its many unfortunate flaws, it still has very fun moments and I really enjoyed it!
Even if you end up disliking it, I really think it’s worth giving it a shot before jumping into other games of the series; it's an incredibly unique game that surprised me even 30 years later- WAIT, 30?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... That somehow feels wrong for so many reasons.
Anyway yeah, game pretty good... but I really hope that the companions are more useful in next installments, it feels like they don't do shit, THAT GOES SPECIALLY FOR YOU, FALCO... but you are pretty good in Smash so its forgiven.
There once was a war even greater that the Lylat Wars, known only as the terrible and cruel Bit Wars; even if as a child I did succumb to the tempting and stupid brutality of the console wars, the bit wars are a time I didn't got to live, much less to see. But I do know some things about it, how its players were locked in a race against each others clocks, always raging to be the first to arrive at the stop of progress, or to put it in other words, to see who had the machine that could produce prettier shapes.
It was, by all accounts, a contest to see who had the largest wang, but it was a very good marketing strategy; being able to say in the magazines that you next game would look better than any prior product was going to catch eyes, hell, it still does today in some ways. And that's precisely where Star Fox enters, a showing of how with even 16 bits, you could have the 3D everyone so desires (kinda), an to be honest, to say that Star Fox shines only because of its graphics is both in part true and a disservice to the game.
Star Fox is impressive beyond believe, partially even to this day, to think that THIS was running (or rather walking) on a SNES is something that could only be attributes to some kind of black magic and really fancy chips. It's incredible how, even if its crude in some respects, the presentation holds up so amazingly even to this day; the never fails to communicate where the action is taking place, in big part thanks to the amazing pixelated background, but at the same time it has this kind of surreal and abstract feeling that makes it so incredibly original. The starships of Andross feel like they defy every kind of conventional design or even physic law, they all share this kind of clean and simple color palette that clashes with their complex and confusing nature, but not in a way that feels jarring, but adds to just give designs that truly feel alien to any world, all culminating in Andross' himself, there may be an ape cube under there, but man does is he weird yet imposing and I love it. Also, special mention to the BANGER soundtrack, they managed to capture such a special feeling with it and I understand why so many people like it so much.
The price to pay for the looks is, of course, the extremely choppy framerate; look, personally I don't find it as bothering as others tho, maybe because its consistently bad, but it's true that sometimes it makes it incredibly hard and confusing to distinguish anything, especially when the screen gets filled with enemies.
When this game throws you at ton of stuff at you, it can be HELL to manage it all and extremely confusing when the frames decide to be specially clunky, which is an huge shame because the gameplay and game feeling as a whole is outstanding! The way the ship controls, combined with the set pieces and possibility to change view, it's all so surprisingly fluid and works extremely well, and when you add the fact that you have multiple initial routes and you can even deviate of it... how? How did this come out in 1993?
I think that is where the true value of Star Fox lies, not in the fact that it may be a tool of war or a marketing strategy, but that the impression it causes is genuine, there was a ton of passion put into it and it shows, and despite its many unfortunate flaws, it still has very fun moments and I really enjoyed it!
Even if you end up disliking it, I really think it’s worth giving it a shot before jumping into other games of the series; it's an incredibly unique game that surprised me even 30 years later- WAIT, 30?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... That somehow feels wrong for so many reasons.
Anyway yeah, game pretty good... but I really hope that the companions are more useful in next installments, it feels like they don't do shit, THAT GOES SPECIALLY FOR YOU, FALCO... but you are pretty good in Smash so its forgiven.
2016
Somewhere in a wheat field, a boy hugs his mother
I guess that one of the biggest compliments that I can give OneShot right of the bat is that it has seriously made me revaluate my opinions in other games that attempt to hit the same notes and have the same impact, so yeah, funnily enough, in a way it made me see the light.
OneShot isn't scared of showing what it is, from the moment Niko wakes up in that dark and dusty room, it lets you know in what kind of voyage you have set yourself and the child you control into, and from there it only becomes more and more magical.
While I wasn't aware of the specifics, I knew that this game would break the fourth wall in different ways, but whereas others use this narrative tool as a way to inject themselves into reality, creating a small sense of unease or even mock you as a player, this world literally calls you a god, everyone knows that you are in some king of outer plane, while only a few understanding fully the gravity of situation.
Puzzles will require you to break the bounds, both to think outside the box and to see beyond the window that encapsulates this broken land; this sadly leads to some parts of it being a little bit more confusing than they should: you may be unsure to what to do next or where to look, how to properly interact to some things or even find certain rooms and objects… but in a way that also helps the overall experience. You arrive the same way as Niko does: not knowing a fuck about this place, its people and its rules; you may have more power than anybody, but that doesn’t stop you from being confused. It’s through that confusion that you and Niko connect: you see his fears, his illusion, his confusion and his wonder, and alongside him you learn of these places, of this characters, and it’s all so… lovable. I believe that it’s genuinely impossible to hate this not cat person and the curious inhabitants of the different places you both come across, it’s impossible to not feel care towards all this poor people, trying to live their lives the best that they can, as well as to care for Niko, to feel the sadness of the fact that is he whom must bear such burden.
Grief, loss, hopelessness, defeat and inevitability are words that came throughout the little voyage and ones that I go back to define the experience as a whole; it’s an extremely sad game, and it never gives you clear answer of what might come next… but it also has this… comfort, I think it’s the best word. The interactions, locations and especially the fantastic soundtrack fill me with this feeling of nostalgia for a time I never got to live, for a place I never got to see on its prime; Niko also feels this nostalgia, and even though this pilgrimage may be scary for him at times, it also makes him smile, and it makes you smile and feel wonder too.
You both push forward, defying the improbable and answering the unanswerable.
Here, at the top of the tower, after the truth has been told and machine and author and powerless to do anything, a final decision remains.
And it’s hard, man.
Fuck FromSoftware and its games, this is the true most challenging part of any game, it will even make your eyes sweat- NO I’M NOT CRIYING YOU ARE CRIYING!
OneShot’s first run Is only comparable to the best experiences I’ve had in the entire medium, and it made me feel and care in a way I really thought it couldn’t. It’s a tale of victories and defeats, of unresolved finales and sweet conclusions, and one that will end in one way, but it’s up to you which it’ll be…
…But what if it hadn’t to be like that?
You even defy the core objective of the program, and what is left is one last pilgrimage to the tower, this time it will be different. I will be scarier. But it’s a risk worth taking. There may be hope for all. Or maybe there won’t.
I really don’t want to go into much detail about the ‘’Solstice’’ ending (nor the game as a whole) ‘cause I really think it’s worth experiencing it. I understand those how of it as redundant or that it detracted from the original experience, I myself thought it was counter-intuitive to do something like that in such a game… but once again, it surprised. It still retains what makes OneShot special, and more importantly, it expands on certain themes left in the air, themes world exploring. Themes about the living and the machine. How the line between the two is not as defined as we think… and how something ‘’fake’’ can be so, so real.
One Shot isn’t perfect, and I understand how some could see more flaws in it than I did, but… It ended being so special at so many levels I couldn’t even begin to re-tell it. It knows what is, but it’s also so much more, more than anyone could have ever thought it could ever be. It’s a bittersweet tale, one you may think is better off with a bittersweet ending, and you may be right…
But a happy ending is warranted, always…
Especially if it makes us smile.
I guess that one of the biggest compliments that I can give OneShot right of the bat is that it has seriously made me revaluate my opinions in other games that attempt to hit the same notes and have the same impact, so yeah, funnily enough, in a way it made me see the light.
OneShot isn't scared of showing what it is, from the moment Niko wakes up in that dark and dusty room, it lets you know in what kind of voyage you have set yourself and the child you control into, and from there it only becomes more and more magical.
While I wasn't aware of the specifics, I knew that this game would break the fourth wall in different ways, but whereas others use this narrative tool as a way to inject themselves into reality, creating a small sense of unease or even mock you as a player, this world literally calls you a god, everyone knows that you are in some king of outer plane, while only a few understanding fully the gravity of situation.
Puzzles will require you to break the bounds, both to think outside the box and to see beyond the window that encapsulates this broken land; this sadly leads to some parts of it being a little bit more confusing than they should: you may be unsure to what to do next or where to look, how to properly interact to some things or even find certain rooms and objects… but in a way that also helps the overall experience. You arrive the same way as Niko does: not knowing a fuck about this place, its people and its rules; you may have more power than anybody, but that doesn’t stop you from being confused. It’s through that confusion that you and Niko connect: you see his fears, his illusion, his confusion and his wonder, and alongside him you learn of these places, of this characters, and it’s all so… lovable. I believe that it’s genuinely impossible to hate this not cat person and the curious inhabitants of the different places you both come across, it’s impossible to not feel care towards all this poor people, trying to live their lives the best that they can, as well as to care for Niko, to feel the sadness of the fact that is he whom must bear such burden.
Grief, loss, hopelessness, defeat and inevitability are words that came throughout the little voyage and ones that I go back to define the experience as a whole; it’s an extremely sad game, and it never gives you clear answer of what might come next… but it also has this… comfort, I think it’s the best word. The interactions, locations and especially the fantastic soundtrack fill me with this feeling of nostalgia for a time I never got to live, for a place I never got to see on its prime; Niko also feels this nostalgia, and even though this pilgrimage may be scary for him at times, it also makes him smile, and it makes you smile and feel wonder too.
You both push forward, defying the improbable and answering the unanswerable.
Here, at the top of the tower, after the truth has been told and machine and author and powerless to do anything, a final decision remains.
And it’s hard, man.
Fuck FromSoftware and its games, this is the true most challenging part of any game, it will even make your eyes sweat- NO I’M NOT CRIYING YOU ARE CRIYING!
OneShot’s first run Is only comparable to the best experiences I’ve had in the entire medium, and it made me feel and care in a way I really thought it couldn’t. It’s a tale of victories and defeats, of unresolved finales and sweet conclusions, and one that will end in one way, but it’s up to you which it’ll be…
…But what if it hadn’t to be like that?
You even defy the core objective of the program, and what is left is one last pilgrimage to the tower, this time it will be different. I will be scarier. But it’s a risk worth taking. There may be hope for all. Or maybe there won’t.
I really don’t want to go into much detail about the ‘’Solstice’’ ending (nor the game as a whole) ‘cause I really think it’s worth experiencing it. I understand those how of it as redundant or that it detracted from the original experience, I myself thought it was counter-intuitive to do something like that in such a game… but once again, it surprised. It still retains what makes OneShot special, and more importantly, it expands on certain themes left in the air, themes world exploring. Themes about the living and the machine. How the line between the two is not as defined as we think… and how something ‘’fake’’ can be so, so real.
One Shot isn’t perfect, and I understand how some could see more flaws in it than I did, but… It ended being so special at so many levels I couldn’t even begin to re-tell it. It knows what is, but it’s also so much more, more than anyone could have ever thought it could ever be. It’s a bittersweet tale, one you may think is better off with a bittersweet ending, and you may be right…
But a happy ending is warranted, always…
Especially if it makes us smile.