Score raised by one point because being so bad it leaves me speechless is a great use of ludonarrative

Why am I supposed to feel bad for an entitled millennial whining about how it’s hard to be an adult? Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, dumbass

Disappointing installment in the Trails franchise. Doesn’t have progress the story in any meaningful way and doesn’t Rean or the cool motorcyclist guy, what the fuck

Profound commentary on imperialism and the very nature of political revolution

Woke SJW propaganda where the traditionally masculine protagonist is killed off and replaced with a girl with green hair and pronouns
#JUSTICEFORWEDGE

Retracting my previous negative review on this game because I just saw a piece of Jack x Astos yaoi

Yeah he does that

Utterly brilliant commentary on electoralism and the futility of voting
EDIT: James Stephanie Sterling owes me royalties

Definitive proof that gamers lack media literacy

Since the fans this one love making up fake quotes so much, let me contribute: “My name is Ramza Beoulve and the game I’m in fucking sucks. Also, I just shit my pants.”

I’m like Nagito Komaeda except instead of wanting to destroy despair, I want to destroy mid

Scooby Doo for terminally online losers who unironically use the term “peak fiction”

KEEP YOUR FUCKING BEATLES REFERENCES OUT OF MY FUCKING GAMES

THE DEVIL MAY CRY FRANCHISE IS A PSY-OP INTENDED TO DESTROY YAOI
BY MAKING TWO CHARACTERS NAMED DANTE AND VERGIL AND HAVING THEM BE BROTHERS, THEY HAVE OBFUSCATED THE FACT THAT THE DIVINE COMEDY VERSIONS OF DANTE AND VIRGIL (WHO AREN’T BROTHERS) HAVE THE POTENTIAL FOR THE GREATEST YAOI TO EVER EXIST
EVERY COPY OF THIS GAME BOUGHT IS LIKE TWENTY YAOI LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIAS BEING BURNED
THE DEVIL MAY CRY FRANCHISE AND EVERY SPARDACEST SHIPPER MUST BE DESTROYED

The hit rates are not worth devoting any fucking energy to, fuck you if you have any strong opinion on them