oh you motherfucker heh heh heh. Okay. Alright. You think you can do this shit... You think you can do this to ME!?!? You motherfuckers would be playing BASKETBALL in PELICAN BAY!!! When I get finished with you!!! shoe program fella!!! 23 hour lockdown! I'm the man up in this piece! you'll never see the light of- who the fuck you think you're fucking with? I'm ELKMANE! I RUN SHIT HERE!! YOU JUST LIVE HERE! yeah that's right you better walk away. Go on, walk away cause Imma burn this motherfucker down. KING KONG?? AINT GOT SHHHHHHIIIIIIIIITTTTT on me. Thats right. Shit I don't give a fuck. I'm winning anyway. I'm winning. I'm winning any motherfucking way I can't lose. Shit you can shoot me....... but you can't kill me.

started off a bit slow on that first episode, but every following one got better and better. I don't give a darn about borderlands or the universe but they made the story so fun and characters so good that I just had to be interested. Best telltale games romance too. The framing device of two people telling their own side of the story works so well and playing as two characters was so seamless that I'm surprised how badly they screwed it up in walking dead new frontier, but to be fair walking dead new frontier is screwed up in every other way too. One of my fav characters in this game is handsome jack, who I now know was a character in borderlands 2 which I now have to play. Yippee. Eh maybe ill just watch a plot summary and all his cutscenes. I'd cut my balls off with a pillow before I play a bored-erlands game

I woke up one morning after a dream. A dream of a perfect zombie game. A huge map with cities to explore, construction to build your own bases, surgery mechanics like metal gear solid 3, and total freedom to survive in the apocalypse in whatever way you want. But most importantly I wanted people and characters that you could invite to your group, having to make tough decisions and have arguments with them like who gets how much food or who needs medicine the most. That very day, I was looking for a game like this and zomboid fit the bill pretty much to the letter, excepting my last wish for the NPC friends. It's a zombie survival game that's been in early access for almost 10 years. These words should be like sandpaper to my brain. But I played 12 hours of this bad boy in 2 days and I am impressed. The sheer depth of every mechanic and how it doesn't feel like you can't do what you would do in a zombie apocalypse. You can pretty much do anything you can think of. Collect rainwater, but you have to heat it up to clean it. You could use the oven but one day the lines are gonna get shut off. Same with the sink. One day canned food will run out, so you better take the time you have to learn to fish or set up a farm. A huge chunk of my playthrough felt more like stardew valley, so when I went into town for more supplies and I saw a zombie I was like oh right. So it feels like you can safely get away from zombies with proper planning. But the zombies aren't a joke. If you make a SINGLE mistake then you're pretty much dead. Saw a fancy car I wanted. Didn't check my corners and boom, zombie. I panicked and broke the glass window of the car and got in. Deep wound, glass stuck in there. I had to hotwire it, and drive away from the horde of zombies while doing hand surgery on myself in real-time. This shit was so intense I think I lost a few years off my life from stress. I'll see you guys in heaven at 77. But anyway, you don't know shit about these zombies. You don't know how they work. Sure, you can customize them in sandbox mode but you don't know if they're drawn to corpses of other zombies or if they can smell the blood on your shirt. The game won't tell you, but if you're paranoid or cautious you can get rid of zombie corpses and wash your clothes and self to get rid of the blood. It reminds me of the early days of the walking dead when they didn't know how the bites worked or if the walkers were still conscious and could come back once the whole thing blew over in a week or two. I dunno about you guys but I like not knowing things. This game is just pure awesome.

But there is a flaw. Yeah, it's early access and it's still not done. There's just one aspect I really need from this game and that's the human NPC update. If you check the developer's Twitter updates you can see they are working on it and just like everything else in the game it's insanely detailed and ambitious. But unlike an ambitious promise from a game like no man's sky, I totally trust this team that each NPC will have deep memories of relatives going back to their grandparents and can tell you about the time their stepdad fell into the lake while fishing. These guys. That's the one thing that's missing and the part of a zombie apocalypse that I think is one of the most important. Because if you have nobody with you, then you are just struggling every day to keep living so you can survive tomorrow. I'd honestly get sorta bored just not even being able to chill at all. I like that this game has books and CDs and VHSes so our character can pass the time. But I'm adding that extra half-star when this game gets the NPC update.

so great. Wasnt expecting to replay the whole game but it just happened and wow just this game is so smooth it's so good and so awesome, the first time I played it I struggled a lot and yes, I will admit even though I am ashamed I used an assist on the last level to give me one extra life. But this playthrough nope, no way Jose. None of that baby crap just pure awesomeness and the steel nerves of a gamer grizzled by the fires of combat. And guess what? I won. Hell. FUCKING. yes. I played the TMNT beatemup recently, which was decent fun, but I had a problem: there was basically no cooperation. All the co-op stuff was in these gimmicky useless moves like, dive bomb into me and I can throw you forward. It did basically nothing. But this game EVERY SINGLE THING is built around co op... like it's so easy to throw an enemy to your friend and have your friend finish it off and just doing combos even when the guy you're beating up is dead. It's really cool. #awesome #great #streetsofrage #oneofthebestgamesofalltime #GOAT

ive played a lot of this but never really went and did every campaign solo, so that's what I did today. All the campaigns back to back without stopping, took me about 7 or so hours and man valve really just makes perfect games don't they? This game had gore that would not be matched until doom eternal, and even then this game's insane animations make it look timeless. Guns still feel great, and the special infected's are cool too. Do you have any problems with the game? literally just mod it out. Or mod something in. It's ridiculous how easy it is to mod this game and how many mods there are. Valve is so far ahead of the universe that they had creation club before creation club and without taking money... you just downloaded the mod. Straight from the game. Anyways, let's talk about the real reason why this game is so awesomesaucitacular. The characters are really funny. One of my favourite aspects of zombie apocalypses with the exception of killing zombies is how a group of people who never would have met or even interacted now have to work closely and help keep each other alive for their own safety, even if they cant stand each other they gotta work together or else they all die. Its very sweet and hearing ellis and nick argue is really funny and I like it. I wonder why this game isn't included in best game of all time conversations like with half life and portal. I personally prefer this game to the portals, but hey to each their own maybe being a co op zombie game disqualifies you from art status because umm idk. Watever everyone already likes this game whats there to say

seems like a goofy doofy setup, the kind a fella would think up when he has 5 minutes until the deadline to submit his fictional universe idea, but they do it in a pretty cool way. This is also the first telltale game where I didn't feel the need to be nice: In batman, you got a city to protect. In walking dead, you got a child to raise. But in here you're an angry werewolf sheriff with nothing to lose, so feel free to be mean and kill people. At least that's how I played. Anyways this was really cool. I think I'll do tales from the borderlands and take a break from telltale for a while, OK?

I should've liked this game more, cause I love las vegas and I love tactical shooters and I love rainbow 6 siege but this game just proved to me...............................................................................................................................(I hope you guys trust me ok?? what I'm about to say may be a little controversial................. ok? you've been warned!) how terrible consoles were for video games... STICK WITH ME!!! LET ME FINISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK????? JUST LISTEN!!

Imagine you're me and you're playing this game. You're not crazy in love with it and wondering why. You walk up to a door, wanting to use the snake cam to peek ahead. But since snake cam is used when near a door and pressing spacebar, and that exact same button is used for opening the door, and that same button is used for calling your teammates to the door for breach, you don't do what you want to do and you die. You wonder... why are 3 actions put on the same button? I'm on a keyboard and there are plenty of other buttons to use. Space bar is also used to tell your teammates to move, or to vault over objects. It's all contextual but very often these things overlap. Each one of these functions could've gone on separate buttons, or if it becomes overwhelming you could've done what games figured out years ago and have a little drop-down menu where you walk up to a door, hold the standard button that every action uses, and it pops up a little menu. If you're next to a corpse in hitman blood money, this menu shows what items you can pick up. There's a gun on the floor, he dropped his keycard, and with that, you won't be fumbling around with the camera pointing it at a direct pixel so the right button prompt shows up on the screen so you can control your character. When they started developing games for consoles and PC's, they were completely different. I remember the Shrek 2 game on consoles was like a 4-player thing and the Shrek 2 game on pc was a 3d platformer. Do you know why? Same reason lego batman on DS is different from lego batman on ps3. No offense to consoles you guys are awesome I love devil may cry and zelda and halo. I've got a lot more to say about this but really I should just leave it at that so I don't get upset. For what it's worth this game was still fun, after the standard military shooter opening level that almost made me abandon it right out the box, vegas was super cool and shootouts were fun as hell with you giving commands to your teammates. When it works, it's really cool. Waiting for enemies to walk up near the door watching them on snake cam and giving your guys the command to blow down the door at the right time to take both of them out Is undeniably cool and tactical. Maybe the sequel will do better? We'll see. Chaos theory had a bunch more cool gadgets than this maybe there's gonna be more cool gadgets in 2. I just want to do fun swat shit in las vegas and this game gave me some of what i wanted.

Really happy with this. One of the fastest, coolest, and most unique shooters and I'm really glad FPS games are starting to go back into the more fast-paced direction. Each weapon is really fun to use and have really special alt fires like creating a time stop bubble. An argument could be made that a lot of it is derivative of games like ultrakill and doom eternal, and yeah I totally agree. But it has enough unique aspects in both the level design, tone, art style, and enemy variety that it feels like its own thing. I totally love the art style, by the way.. Now it's time for my problems with the game... first thing first is the deflect. Now, back in the demo when you deflected it would spin your shovel in a circle, and any bullets that hit you would return to the enemies and explode, like in ultrakill. That's cool. But the problem is that in the full version that shovel spinning animation is gone. And I thought deflects in general were gone because Q is to kick. I checked the bindings and Q was set to both kick and deflect. Huh? I was so confused, I was wondering if it was contextual like if it sensed a bullet coming at you it would play the parry animation but then I realized the kick itself was also the deflect, like it bounces off the bottom of your shoe. Why? Is it cause ultrakill deflects are punches? You know v1's hand is made of robot steel metal iron right? and postal dude's foot isn't! I don't care that it's a silly joke game that takes place inside a crazy guy's dream. It feels really off and it wasn't really a problem after the first level, because there aren't that many hitscan enemies in the game. My second problem was the humour. Postal is usually a laugh out loud hilarious franchise. But I was kinda underwhelmed by this game's humour. Most of the dialogue I heard was repeated multiple times, and it would've been ok if it was funny. Like. He says "OK Boomer" sometimes after u kill someone. that should give you an idea of what you're up against in this game. Some of them I don't even understand. You pick up a health pipe and he says "health? ha ha. pipe. ha ha." I sort of get pipe is supposed to imply Weiner but why is he laughing at health? But on the bright side, I think this will be a really fun time capsule when it gets replayed 20 years from now and seeing what it was like in the late 2010s and early 2020s having all these references. Sure it could be dated but it could also be like duke nukem 3d where you have a look back at what the popular culture was like back then. But for now, it's just lightly stale internet memes. That's not to say this game isn't funny at all, just it kinda falls short of what I expect out of a postal game's humour. Here's an example of a good joke in this game: You know siren head? the giant monster thing with a siren for a head? In this game, there's an enemy type like that but instead of a siren, he has a 5G head! I will give you 15 seconds to laugh before I move on with the review. Go on, laugh. I'm a patient guy don't worry about me. ............................................................................................................................ done laughing? alright, let's move on. As for my final complaint, I think this game's health placements were very unfair. For the last level, I went into it with low health from finishing the previous one and there was no healing station. A man can only take so much punishment, I can't handle all these crazy enemies when I'm 1 hit away from death. It's got doom eternal speed and arenas, (you can leave the arenas anytime you don't have to finish them off, so it does a cool mix of eternal style and classic style kill rooms) but it doesn't have glory kills. maybe it was just a thing on higher difficulties but I had to redo the 2nd last mission to have health for the last mission. But I guess it makes you need to be more careful and adds a layer of difficulty to it. Anyways, yeah it's postal yeah it's awesome and I think it gets better as it goes on with more enemy variety and puzzles and weapons and things and awesomeness. To me, this is to the postal series what metal gear rising is to the metal gear series. Therefore: AWESOME. https://youtu.be/5_5eTTFxFTY

there's reasons why old games can still be better than their modern equivalents despite decades of technological improvements and learning. One of those reasons and the reason why half-life one is still one of the best games ever made is the level design. Proper design is timeless and unfortunately somehow seems to be reverting in modern-day, in my experience. As demand for videogames increases and the market grows larger, developers have to be wary and design their levels in a way that allows every person regardless of videogame experience to enjoy the game and not feel like they get lost often or don't know how to progress. Half-life's solution was to make the game almost entirely linear but still have it feel like a real place. The black mesa facility is so well designed not only from a gameplay sense but from a visual sense that you can completely see how people can go to work there. By having a good balance between a cool location that seems like a real place and subtle linearity that makes it hard to get lost in what would normally be a sprawling, huge science lab that the player has no clue the floor map of, it lets the player have the benefit of feeling like they won't get lost in the area yet still have the ability to see all there is to see in the great facility. Very unique zones and amazing set pieces, which is the first undeniably improved part of black mesa over half life. So many amazing action-packed moments or fun puzzles with an amazing music score that just makes you feel so cool. The set pieces are also amazing because they link perfectly with this games most awesome aspect that hasn't been properly imitated until dark souls: You control how much you interact with the story. You are gordon and you choose how much you care about other people. You can kill every scientist or barney and leave them as bullsquid bait so you get a head start. Or you can play a hero that leads everyone to safety, which would at some points feel like trying to drain the ocean with a straw. It links into the set pieces because you can decide how you see each moment. You can think "Woohoo! I just killed those marines! I am so cool. Alright now I gotta get out of here" or, if you pay attention to the story, "Oh my goodness! The Resonance Cascade, which I inadvertently caused, is self-sustaining! And the military backup that was sent to deal with it is gone! We're on our own! Oh no, they even evacuated all of New Mexico! What a disaster!"
By not forcing the player to feel any kind of remorse or connection with the story outside of the actual player's own choosing, you never get moments like Doom Eternal where doomguy sits down in front of this old guy as he explains the deep lore to him. If I were doomguy, I would turn around and walk away. But I cant do that. Now if some scientist was telling me that "oh you need to go here and do that did you know if you carry this fluid with you to the gonarchs lair you can use it to kill them instantly why don't you try that oh oh oh I'm a scientist nerd" You can walk away because you don't care about the stupid story. I would pay money to be able to walk away from some game stories. Skipping cutscenes and dialogue can only get me so far. All this awesome stuff is why it has such a high rating, and now we come to my two negative points. One: The overall maximum ammo you can carry , your reload speed, and move speed have been lowered from the original. To fit "Modern sensibilities" of what a shooter should be. Yeah if everything were to fit modern sensibilities I wouldn't be playing this shitty medium id move on to another art form like radio dramas or flip books. Obviously this was an attempt to ground the game a little bit and encourage using different weapons, as in the original you could mostly stick to the smg or shotgun or whatever weapon you liked. I'm not totally against this change and it's more balanced because now you can sprint. Not a huge issue more of a preference thing. And the actual issue I have is xen. So for some context, in the original half life xen was godawful. Legit irredeemable terrible. But in this, it's not so bad. It's got better design both visually and gameplay wise but its sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong. So boring. Keeps going on and on and on especially interloper its cool but its just conveyor belts for 90 floors and since its 90 floors your framerate tanks cus it has to render 90 floors and 900 conveyor belts moving 90000 boxes. Jeez. Yeah, if Xen were cut in half this would be a 5 star. Half life is the best and this is just half life with mostly fixed elevators, so hell yeah.