208 Reviews liked by FingerCaesar


Database narrative as moe personification. Impressive atmosphere and structural sensibilities, but the game's voyeuristic treatment of Lain is deeply suspect, especially given that this has one of the cruelest endings I've seen in basically anything. Doesn't help that whoever designed the UI is a psychopath.

it's like assassins creed 2 but in Jerusalem. I had no idea what i was doing half the time. I like stabbing people.

EO fans are straight up evil bro, looking you directly in the eye and recommending some of the most boring DRPGs ever made. Made it through part of the 2nd stratum before I fell asleep. Just go play Strange Journey or Labyrinth of Touhou 2 or something instead.

"Bro check this out, I figured out how to get the screen to scroll by itself."
"YOOOOO that's fucking SICK, what if we put that in every fucking level?"

it really feels like a strand-like game

This game gets more than its fair share of hate as the marquee franchise representative during SE's dark decade between FF12 and Heavensward, and it's not fair to dump all of the Crystal Tools baggage on 13's lap. 13 has some very strong elements like Hamauzu's soundtrack, the techno-organic creature designs (Barthandelus and Orphan are some of the neatest looking things SE artists have ever devised), and the lore with Etro and Bhunivelze and all that. Once you get to Gran Pulse, the game also has a mark hunting system which might be an inferior echo of FF12's marks, but still good. The game is also still very good looking, at least with Xbox back compat.

Unfortunately, even with all that throat clearing out of the way, I can't recommend it. It's the worst cast of characters Final Fantasy has ever produced, the storytelling is a mess, the dialogue is even worse, the combat takes forever to get even decent and never feels truly good, the Crystarium is everything bad about the Sphere Grid with none of the charm, the repetitive corridors are just dire, and so forth. People get unduly mean when discussing this game, but it's still bad.

Man, this game is a mess. For every awe-inspiring moment which captures what I really love about Final Fantasy there is something in response which feels like a de-evolution of it. I hesitate to call this "bad" as many detractors would proclaim but I can't deny if I said I do understand where that frustration came from. Let me be upfront; I think there's a very solid game buried deep within here.

The story about an unlikely group, barely getting along with each other and forced to under circumstances, who become fugitives on the run from a government that hates magic(?) is a really cool idea on paper. The futuristic dystopian backdrop setting to this seems like a cool-looking world to just immerse yourself in. The problem comes with the way this is conveyed and laid throughout the game. The opening to FFXIII is the best example for this, taking obvious cues from FFVII, which does an effective job of thrusting you right into the action where the party comes together. But then it starts to lose itself once you try to wrap your head around the many questions you have about the "why?" or "what?" of what's going on. Who are the Fal'Cie? What's a L'Cie? What's the deal with Vanille? What even is the Gran Pulse anyway? Not that Final Fantasy has never had a narrative that doesn't at least leave you stumped for how much is going on. Here though, this becomes a clear issue because the game almost expects you to know all this story and world-building beforehand. There's no audience surrogate to help ground the game and familiarize ourselves with these unclear concepts to really get the bigger picture through breadcrumbs. These questions do get addressed somewhat but by the time they do it's far too late into the story. And it becomes difficult to really get fully invested or engaged when there's this level of disconnect going on in the narrative. Besides that they're mostly explained through Datalogs rather than something naturally explored through cutscenes or dialogue. I wouldn't even call this badly written per say, because if you cut right through the plot there exists a solid story there, but the way this is handled doesn't do it much justice.

Having said all that, I think it's ironic that for a game about understanding yet defying destiny it's very scripted in how it strips player agency for a majority. You're basically stuck with training wheels for the way you can barely customize and progress through the game's notorious linearity. Which amounts to running through hallways to hallways, empty corridors to empty corridors, and narrow pathways to narrow pathways with nothing to do but a rinse and repeat of fighting enemies, finding a save point, and then a cutscene plays. I get this franchise has always been very straightforwardly linear but they usually do a good job of making up for the fact you're going from point A to B. From including overworld map environments, the quirky little towns or hubs you can visit, and the NPCs populating it which breathes life into the entire experience. FFXIII is completely divorced from this purposeful set dressing which was vital in engrossing you into the respective game's vibe and setting. And considering how very unique FFXIII's world is, this design choice makes the adventuring experience more detrimental than it could be intentionally beneficial to whatever the devs had in mind. Combine this with how restrictive the combat is until Chapter 9 (out of 13) and you end up with a very monotonous gameplay experience that leaves you wanting to just be the one in proper control for once.

And yet, as the party gradually reunites back in the latter half of the game, and you finally get more freedom to play how you want, it actually becomes a very decent experience all around. What I think FFXIII does an interesting job with, something people are understandably going to be split on, is its combat and how it differs from the way the series handled turn-based before it. I still have my gripes, like your party members being AI controlled, but the Paradigm system is a fair tradeoff for how deceptively deep it actually is. This probably makes the most engaging use of the ATB system from any Final Fantasy, or even RPG, I've played so far. Although you don't have complete control over your party members, you can change the playstyles or classes of your party every turn. Making you really consider the specializations of your party, like who's the best for debuffing or who's great at being a bullet sponge tank to draw attention from the others, and try to fight as one unit rather than individually. It easily makes it one of the most demanding RPGs combat-wise for how reactive and quick you need to be. It's not perfect as there's still quite a bit of a gradual learning curve to really get the feel for it and how monotonous it can still end up being fairly often, but I don't hate the concept really. It's actually quite fitting that for how much the game feels almost like the prototypical first failed attempt at remaking FFVII for the modern gaming generation that FFVII Remake ends up lifting a lot of the gameplay here to better refine it.

What surprised me the most from my experience throughout FFXIII was how I grew to really endear myself to its main characters. A lot of people really seem to hate them, which I'll admit they're lacking in certain character to really stand out stronger, but by the end of it I couldn't help but root for this likable bunch. I wasn't entirely fond of them from the get-go, since the game was reluctant in allowing you to really understand what their deal is, but I think around Chapter 8 is when I just really vibed with them mostly. Snow is just a really cool dude trying to be the hero that these dire situations need. Hope I was indifferent towards but I really liked how much he's matured. Vanille and Fang are very fun characters all around. Sazh might actually be one of my favorite characters in the franchise for how endearingly "normal" he is in trying to be a good dad while getting caught up in typical Final Fantasy bullshit. Lightning was the weakest link for me as she's clearly supposed to fill the Cloud Strife role in the game but never gets the needed depth to rise above -- "she's kinda there I guess. kinda boring tho". I still would've liked to see them have more going on than certain character moments to feel more well rounded but I think that ties back to the poor way the narrative is told.

Just having beaten the game, it really puts this into perspective how hard it is for me to recommend this or not. Because for one, this could be seen as too much of an unsatisfying departure in the series to plunge 50 hours into for really anybody to pick up. The gameplay is very limited for 2/3rds of the playtime, the story seems promising but can feel frustratingly underwhelming in its execution, and the pacing is very gradual and not in a way that justified its length (this should've been 20+ hours tops). But on the other hand, it's still even today a visually stunning game with often beautiful environments, the character writing can invoke the genuine goodness that this franchise can excel at, and the combat can have a lot going for it mechanically. Also, this might have the coolest renditions of summons by just making them into transformers you can fight with so maybe it's actually the best Final Fantasy after all.

i got so mad at this game as a little 9 year old that i bent my ds screen backwards and broke one of the hinges off almost completely. dad tried to fix it with nail glue and somehow glued the power button as well. whole ds became unusable. it's not Gardening Mama's fault but i blame her anyways and since then this game has become the bane of my existence. every now and then i go to look at my ds games and the cartridge pops up like a reoccurring nightmare. Gardening Mama will never leave me alone.

Firstly. The quality of this port even with DSfix installed is horrendous. I've had multiple white screen crashes even AFTER implementing the fix (add a 1 to the MOV folder name). The 60FPS breaks certain platforming sections and makes normal routes that would be accessed via rolling near impossible, sometimes it even causes you to slide through the floor while sliding down a ladder. With out DSfix the port is borderline broken. AA is only on and off, Vsync causes the game to minimize to picture in picture for some reason, sound looping is broken with footsteps still echoing for up to four seconds after stopping if wearing heavy armor etc.

The game does try and make attempts to fix some of the mechanics from Demons Souls that made that game far too easy. But these fall flat.

They made an attempt to curb players just grinding for healing items by limiting you to 20 Estus at a time, but not only is 20 more than enough due to estus being upgradeable, you can still stock up on healing items by farming humanities from rats. Which shows they presented the solution, but never executed it properly.

Stones of ehpemeral eyes in demons were ultra rare items. The player really had to weigh their options using one. But here, you can just farm humanities. Taking away that element of risk.

Magic is still insanely overpowered. Crystal magic has absurd damage and tracking and melts boss hp . Pyro magic like great combustion has super fast start up and also melts most Boss health bars. There is no incentive for the player to even consider melee for any thing beyond mooks due to this.

Where the game excels in gameplay is the level design. At least for the first half of the game. The short cuts are smartly placed and feel rewarding to find, and give a sense of satisfaction when used as you'll never want to go the long way again. Though you'll want to explore every nook and cranny, as not only do you get good items, it can also make boss fights easier. Such as killing a Channeler in the depths that buffs the area boss. Or killing a giant that will throw rocks at you during a boss fight on a high tower if you leave him be.

The infamous blight town is a great casual filter that punishes players who come unprepared. The game has a spider shield that protects against toxic in the area right before blight town. But if you rush through the area you'll be assaulted by toxic dart throwers and most likely die before finding the bonfire. The swamp smartly has all of it's items on the outer rim to avoid rehashing the tedium that was Demons Souls Valley of defilement.

Where the game peaks is Anor Londo. All of the effort clearly went here given how important it is lore wise. You need to think out side the box to progress and be careful and patient. Which culminates in an excellent boss fight that punishes players who have been ignoring the RPG mechanics and just trying to brute force their way through like an action game. Unfortunately, the games saving grace vanishes in the second half.

It's clear that from soft was running out of time when you start the second half.

New Londo ruins gimmick is being dark and being ganked by hard to hit ghosts. Which you need a special item to even damage. You then open a flood gate and meander to a mediocre boss.

Valley of Giants and the Catacombs are just confusing, the valley being even worse because it's pitch black.

Dukes Archives has more effort but is far to short, with only one real puzzle that only serves to further progress with no real secrets to find. it's followed up by the embarrassingly bad crystal forest. An area that takes at most 10 minutes to get through because the game out right shows you where the gimmicky invisible floors are.

Lost Izalith is where the game really ♥♥♥♥♥ the bed. It's just a gaggle of overly large and wide areas. Plastered with early game bosses as regular enemies to make the area artificially harder. The area even has a recolor of the tutorial boss and hides an essential ring behind an out of the way side path.

Izalith ends with Bed of chaos, a horrible boss. It's so rushed and uninspired that it even has checkpoints after cutting off a branch, this section was so bad even miyazaki apologized for it. The final segment is completely luck based. In my first PT I was killed near the weak point 3 times in a row. In my second I barely beat her on my first attempt but I still somehow got hit when she died.

I've yet to mention most of the boss fights in detail yet. And that's because they are really nothing special aside from Ornstein and Smough and Artorias (and the above mentioned bed of chaos for all the wrong reasons). All of them can be 4-7 shotted with magic and the game even lets you summon NPCs for help. The Summons break the bosses AI much like the Penetrator fight in Demons souls. These bosses are not designed to be fighting more than one Player character at once. So one can simply snipe the bosses from afar while the summon melees them.

Many of the bosses eat up the entire camera if they manage to back the player to a wall. Which can lead to some lame deaths. The lock on also has a habit of targeting the bosses head and chests to keep them in view. But the player also aims at those areas. So it's means you'll constantly be unlocking near their feet if you run out of magic . Which can make getting good reads near impossible near walls.

Gameplay issues aside. The story is quite interesting and is the main reason I decided to ride this game out to completion. The world building, like Demons souls is fantastic. And it treats the players intelligence with enough respect to expect them to piece the lore together on their own while not being pretentious.

Demons Souls OST was a dark experimental orchestral sound, done by a Television composer. For this game, veteran video game composer Motoi Sakuraba was brought in and this is some of his best work. Ornstein and Smough's theme stands out as the highlight. The final boss theme is reminiscent of his work on more conventional JRPGs like Tales and Star ocean and is quite memorable. You'll be remembering this OST for years if you decide to play this.

Graphically the game looks incredible. Most of the horrible bloom from Demons Souls is gone. The lighting, while basic, is implemented in such a stellar way that it makes even the dreadful second half feel truly otherworldly. The texture work is some of the best of the 7th generation. Every weapon and enemy looks fantastic and the art direction is so striking you will never forget any of the areas or enemies.

Overall Dark souls is a memorable, but mediocre game, held back by it's broken combat and horrible second half. To it's credit there are far, far worse JRPGs you could be playing. But I'd get this on sale.

5/10.

maybe I would like if I was a teenage boy with an enormous victim complex. Also why is it ~90 hours? in the second castle I was already bored

Myst

1993

Booting up Myst 27 years later after it's release, it's still impressive how much mystique and allure it has.
It's age immediately shows, but once you get past it's early cd-rom origins, you will find yourself in its now emblematic otherwordly, alien and mysterious island.

The static nature of its gameplay, combined with the lack of living beings on the island ( besides the presence of live action clips of the previous inhabitants and their belongings and writing) and sparse ambient soundscape creates a very unique and zen like atmosphere that's hardly replicated on other games of it's genre, something that probably helped it standout so much at the time. The obtuse and illogical mechanisms, buttons and contraptions scattered across the world of Myst invite the player like a moth to fire, speaking to a inner part of human nature that wants to solve and make sense of things.

The brilliance of it's design is in how it has every solution and path available to you from the start, you just dont have the information and clues required to know that those solutions and paths are already in front of you. In a stroke of genius, the game even has the final solution in plain sight at the start of the game. Some of the puzzles are duds, and some of the puzzles are a bit too obtuse to be taken seriously. The story is barebones, and only there to serve as some form of goal. There is sometimes the sense that you are playing a tech demo for the almight CD-ROM.

But Myst is still a classic, and if you never have, you should visit it's island and see for yourself the power of human curiosity and stubborness, and how that alone is enough to create a world worth falling into.

Myst

1993

Myst is a trip.

This game is like a puzzle box. You know, those wooden toys for 11-year-olds and grandpas that have some hidden trick to opening them. (Maybe that wide age appeal is how this ended up being the only game I ever beat with my parents) Except inside that puzzle box are five more boxes. And each of those smaller puzzle boxes is connected to even more puzzle boxes that are hidden in other rooms of your house. And half of THOSE puzzle boxes are only functional if you've got the right combination of puzzle boxes unlocked in the attic. And two distant relatives are both pressuring you via Skype about which puzzle boxes you need to be focused on unlocking, and you don't know who to trust because you're not even sure how you got in the house in the first place or how you're going to get out and if you even like these puzzle boxes and WHAT WAS ATRUS THINKING

Myst

1993

Moral of the story: Don't read books