105 Reviews liked by GonashX


misleading title, game didn't run in 50 FPS

Thinking about this game, the discourse around it, the developers, the streamers, the players, the supporters, gives me spiritual depression

bitches be like "this is what takes nintendo and those soulless corporations down" when this game was made with the same soulless sentiment

made like a dark, twisted version of pokemon haha. Just a glimpse into my dark reality. A full stare into my open-world survival crafting slop would make most simply go insane lmao.

Not playing this because I would never hurt a woman

Fuck off, I’m not wasting 700 hours that I could have spent actually contributing something to society on the MCU for people who unironically use the word waifu

Pokémon fans have zero standards I swear to god. How could you call gen 5 “perfect” when it has the severe flaw of reminding me that Long Island exists?

It’s about making the most of your short time in life yet it’s 82 hours long? Hypocrisy much?

Gonna be Tekken a piss on this game’s disc

Since the fans this one love making up fake quotes so much, let me contribute: “My name is Ramza Beoulve and the game I’m in fucking sucks. Also, I just shit my pants.”

Never played but obligated to give it a 10/10 because of how much enjoyment I get from joining a new MegaTen server, making a joke about how Persona 3 was the first Persona game, turning notifications on my phone, and then shoving it up my ass

My 27 year old coworker told me he wanted to fuck Sandy

It's all fun and games for kieran until I hit him with my incineroar+zacian crowned lead. Welcome to the real world, kid.

''Neo Cortex the crystal fan vs. N.Brio the based gem enjoyer'' the game.

I'm happy to report that yeah, I liked this one more than the first game... but I still didn't love it as much as I hoped, which it really pains me 'cause in most areas this one hell of an upgrade from the last entry!

A story that picks up from where the last game left on and has much more presence with mini-cutscenes through the game, ditching the world map and introducing the warp rooms, an incredibly cool way of presenting levels with more variety and letting you play them in the order you prefer, much more build-up before the boss fights and a BANGER of a soundtrack are the most noticeable improvements, and all of them plus what was already good from Crash 1... but I just can't say with a good conscience that I see it as a monumental achievement and a sequel that solves all of the problems the original had, in great part because of its own nature of being... well, more Crash Bandicoot.

The levels do appear to be more interesting, with far more varied themes and the objective being not only reaching the end, but also grabbing the crystal, tho this one doesn't appear that much of added challenge or a deal-breaker, they just are on a part that tends to be half-way through the level and are anything but hidden, but hey, collecting the gems you get by breaking all the boxes and the colored secret ones was much more fun than it ever was in the first game, so that's that. And while yeah, there are much more interesting and varied level themes, they aren't particularly interesting, mainly because they tend to repeat a similar structure: all ice levels have a 2D section, all temple levels have the same obstacles, all the bee levels are my worst nightmare, and so on and so forth. I can't say that I really liked the levels when the ones that pop up in my head when I think of the game are the ones I got incredibly frustrated instead of the ones where I had a ton of fun, and that's just 'cause there aren't that many exceptional levels here (Except the Jet Board and Jet Pack levels, those are incredibly fun a total blast to beat and complete).

And while I do like the presentation and design on the bosses, once again they all are by far the easiest part of the game, and they are mostly really uninteresting, the final boss specially us surprisingly easy and simple. At the same time, the only boss that isn't painfully easy it's painfully tedious and long, so I guess it could have been worse.

The hitboxes are once again a mixed bag, tho in this case it wasn't a matter of missing jumps and the collision being clunky (tho that could be because I got used to it, as it did happen a few times), but rather the enemies and obstacles hitboxes where the problem this time around, the most noticeable being the 5 or 6 times I died to fire after it clearly disappeared.

It really makes me sad to not be able to love this as many other people do, because I do see what could make this game so special and as a sequel it does improve a lot on the original, but I just can't go past many of its problems and I can't classify it as something more than just a fun but flawed 3D platformer.

I'll say that I'm honestly quite excited to play Warped, 'cause if they keep improving I could find it to be the definitive Crash Bandicoot game, and finally say that I really love the crazy marsupial.

Also, one last thing: Fuck. Jumping. Nitro. Boxes.

That's all I'm gonna say about that.