MMK
1991
I like how shit just happens in this game. It's like they wrote the whole story with Mad Libs.
Mad props for being the first actually playable Final Fantasy game.
Mad props for being the first actually playable Final Fantasy game.
2015
Played this back in 2015 roughly a month after it first came out, and like most people, my first reaction was "Holy shit. This is the best game I've ever played". This seems to be some sort of mind-controlling bug carefully hidden in the code that slowly wears off over the span of several years.
Now returning to this game 8 years later.. it's just alright. It's still a really influential piece of art, no doubt about it, and the soundtrack is still incredible, but the whole thing hasn't aged the best in such a short time.
1/3 of this game is "Le epic holds of spork"-random humor, courtesy of Dr. Alphys, the worst video game character ever conceived that refuses to fucking leave you alone. I can't believe there aren't more people talking about how genuinely annoying the whole Hotlands segment is thanks to her.
I also wish the game handled its story better, because the plot is really well written, just not presented in the best way. "Here's some exposition written on a bunch of signs randomly thrown around the Waterfall area. Why? Who put them there? You're asking too many questions, pal."
Undertale is just a cute project made by a single guy, that in retrospect was probably testing the waters for Toby's actual passion project - Deltarune, which is shaping up to genuinely be one of the best games of all time (or maybe it's just that damn mind-controlling bug implanted into my brain talking again).
Now returning to this game 8 years later.. it's just alright. It's still a really influential piece of art, no doubt about it, and the soundtrack is still incredible, but the whole thing hasn't aged the best in such a short time.
1/3 of this game is "Le epic holds of spork"-random humor, courtesy of Dr. Alphys, the worst video game character ever conceived that refuses to fucking leave you alone. I can't believe there aren't more people talking about how genuinely annoying the whole Hotlands segment is thanks to her.
I also wish the game handled its story better, because the plot is really well written, just not presented in the best way. "Here's some exposition written on a bunch of signs randomly thrown around the Waterfall area. Why? Who put them there? You're asking too many questions, pal."
Undertale is just a cute project made by a single guy, that in retrospect was probably testing the waters for Toby's actual passion project - Deltarune, which is shaping up to genuinely be one of the best games of all time (or maybe it's just that damn mind-controlling bug implanted into my brain talking again).
2020
"Sigh, another quirky Earthbound-inspired RPG about depression"
Please fucking tell me what other quirky Earthbound-inspired RPGs about depression there are, because I need to play all of them.
Please fucking tell me what other quirky Earthbound-inspired RPGs about depression there are, because I need to play all of them.
2020
I think it's genuinely really cool that you're always one wrong step away from dying in a fucked Rube-Goldberg machine. Got 99 health and the best possible equipment? Guess what, bozo - bear trap that you couldn't even see! Sounds like a skill issue to me!
If that happened in any other game I would uninstall it immediately, but Spelunky secretly implants a chip in your brain that only makes you go "Ha, well played" after even the most bullshit and rage-inducing death imaginable.
If that happened in any other game I would uninstall it immediately, but Spelunky secretly implants a chip in your brain that only makes you go "Ha, well played" after even the most bullshit and rage-inducing death imaginable.
2011
This game is so cool. I wish British people were real.
More proof that the original Paper Mario formula is the best RPG formula ever conceived and that it's not just nostalgia talking.
I wish there was more of a story (also the villain sucks), but this is very good for being the studio's first game. I'm looking forward to what these guys make in the future, especially now that Nintendo's made it clear to everybody that they intend to keep Paper Mario in their death dungeon forever.
The official standing:
PM64 > Bug Fables > TTYD > SPM > TOK >>>>>> CS > SS
I wish there was more of a story (also the villain sucks), but this is very good for being the studio's first game. I'm looking forward to what these guys make in the future, especially now that Nintendo's made it clear to everybody that they intend to keep Paper Mario in their death dungeon forever.
The official standing:
PM64 > Bug Fables > TTYD > SPM > TOK >>>>>> CS > SS
2001
I just want to know how they came up with the story for this game.
"So, dude, you're like a football player that goes on a religious pilgrimage to stop his father who turned himself into a whale from destroying civilization. You're accompanied by cool characters like a racist Jamaican voiced by Bender from Futurama and blue Mufasa."
And somehow it's peak video game storytelling. You WILL cry.
"So, dude, you're like a football player that goes on a religious pilgrimage to stop his father who turned himself into a whale from destroying civilization. You're accompanied by cool characters like a racist Jamaican voiced by Bender from Futurama and blue Mufasa."
And somehow it's peak video game storytelling. You WILL cry.
2021
I get that "spOooOky meta ARG what if video games were le evil??" is Daniel Mullins' speciality, but maybe it's time to find a new shtick.
It worked in the past, but it's so ham-fisted into this game that I couldn't make myself care about the story after Act 1 (which is the best part of the game and genuinely super fun).
SPOILERS:
If you do the ARG or whatever (I don't know dude, I just watched a Youtube video after finishing the game), you'll also find out that the overarching plot is incredibly stupid. Adolf Hitler was given a set of playing cards by Satan or some shit? Gimme a break man. I just wanted to hang out in a spooky cabin with a fungus man.
It worked in the past, but it's so ham-fisted into this game that I couldn't make myself care about the story after Act 1 (which is the best part of the game and genuinely super fun).
SPOILERS:
If you do the ARG or whatever (I don't know dude, I just watched a Youtube video after finishing the game), you'll also find out that the overarching plot is incredibly stupid. Adolf Hitler was given a set of playing cards by Satan or some shit? Gimme a break man. I just wanted to hang out in a spooky cabin with a fungus man.
I ain't reading allat. Where's the goombas to stomp on?
I genuinely believe this is the worst game ever made.
Shit like "Big Rigs" is at least kind of funny and didn't completely destroy a well-respected franchise.
This game HATES you. It WILL waste your time at every given opportunity and you WILL hate every single second of it.
There is quite literally no reason to play this and you will not get anything out of it. A 30-hour long complete waste of time you could rather spend watching snails fuck.
Shit like "Big Rigs" is at least kind of funny and didn't completely destroy a well-respected franchise.
This game HATES you. It WILL waste your time at every given opportunity and you WILL hate every single second of it.
There is quite literally no reason to play this and you will not get anything out of it. A 30-hour long complete waste of time you could rather spend watching snails fuck.
2023
Doing all the P-ranks was, without exaggeration, the most fun I've ever had playing a video game.
The first two hours of this game will be you smashing into walls at Mach 3 and getting repeatedly stabbed by forks, but at an unknown point your brain will get zapped by an Ancient Egyptian hex that fuses your real-life consciousness with Peppino himself and you'll feel like the baddest motherfucker around.
The first two hours of this game will be you smashing into walls at Mach 3 and getting repeatedly stabbed by forks, but at an unknown point your brain will get zapped by an Ancient Egyptian hex that fuses your real-life consciousness with Peppino himself and you'll feel like the baddest motherfucker around.
2019
One of the most creative games of all time.
It would have been so easy to make this just a simple joke game, but the devs said "Actually, let's write some of the densest world-building in anything ever made" and I'm so glad they did.
Can't believe they made one of the most tragic characters in gaming history be an old guy that has a GIF of a skeleton riding a flaming bike on his web page.
Special shoutouts to the madman who composed an actual entire Shoegaze album for an easily missable easter egg in this game. Genuinely goes really hard. Dirthaze lives on.
It would have been so easy to make this just a simple joke game, but the devs said "Actually, let's write some of the densest world-building in anything ever made" and I'm so glad they did.
Can't believe they made one of the most tragic characters in gaming history be an old guy that has a GIF of a skeleton riding a flaming bike on his web page.
Special shoutouts to the madman who composed an actual entire Shoegaze album for an easily missable easter egg in this game. Genuinely goes really hard. Dirthaze lives on.
1992
They forgot to write a story for this one, but it's alright because the job system is so damn fun.
2022
The average round of Vampire Survivors
All the characters and stages play the exact same.
All the enemies are palette swaps.
After you unlock some of the meta upgrades you will literally never die and this game turns into a less engaging Cookie Clicker.
Only play this if you're a psychopath like me that has to look at pretty colors while listening to podcasts.
All the characters and stages play the exact same.
All the enemies are palette swaps.
After you unlock some of the meta upgrades you will literally never die and this game turns into a less engaging Cookie Clicker.
Only play this if you're a psychopath like me that has to look at pretty colors while listening to podcasts.
2019
I wish real life worked like this.
I want to drink 30 coffees and put a feather on my head, and then start flying and noclipping through New York.
I want to drink 30 coffees and put a feather on my head, and then start flying and noclipping through New York.