MMK
2014
Can't have shit in Detroit.
Didn't tug on my heartstrings as much as I had hoped, but still a fantastic black comedy RPG Maker game with a bunch of genuinely fucked up moments.
Best part was getting to ride a fat guy as a boat after one of the most emotional parts of the game.
Didn't tug on my heartstrings as much as I had hoped, but still a fantastic black comedy RPG Maker game with a bunch of genuinely fucked up moments.
Best part was getting to ride a fat guy as a boat after one of the most emotional parts of the game.
Much better if you imagine all the characters as having really silly voices.
None of you were lying about the homoerotic tension between Wright and Edgeworth.
None of you were lying about the homoerotic tension between Wright and Edgeworth.
2001
This was my first childhood game (the joys of growing up in Central Europe) so get ready for a lot of hyperboles.
This game is really bad, but also one of the greatest games of all time at the same time.
It's so ungodly buggy, that it actually becomes almost a sandbox game. I still don't know the "intended solutions" for some of these levels, because it's much easier (and also much more fun) to just exploit the game mechanics. Glitching through walls, jumping sixty feet into the air after landing on a scorpion, glitching onto a lion's head and then jumping onto invisible walls ... there's over 30 levels, but the speedruns are 10 minutes long!
It's got such a strange enchanting atmosphere that, even when I replay the game 15 years later, I can still remember everything about every level. "Oh! This is the cave level and there's the white punk lion! I remember playing this on a thursday afternoon, while eating an ice cream sandwich on the 17th of July 2008!". You know the term "liminal space"? Well, that's exactly how this entire game feels.
It's so sad that we might never get another game like this and that it's so obscure. The studio that made this, Suricate Software, sold their soul to the devil and now only make Bejeweled clones.
This game is one of the most creative and unique games anyone has ever created... intentionally or unintentionally.
This game is really bad, but also one of the greatest games of all time at the same time.
It's so ungodly buggy, that it actually becomes almost a sandbox game. I still don't know the "intended solutions" for some of these levels, because it's much easier (and also much more fun) to just exploit the game mechanics. Glitching through walls, jumping sixty feet into the air after landing on a scorpion, glitching onto a lion's head and then jumping onto invisible walls ... there's over 30 levels, but the speedruns are 10 minutes long!
It's got such a strange enchanting atmosphere that, even when I replay the game 15 years later, I can still remember everything about every level. "Oh! This is the cave level and there's the white punk lion! I remember playing this on a thursday afternoon, while eating an ice cream sandwich on the 17th of July 2008!". You know the term "liminal space"? Well, that's exactly how this entire game feels.
It's so sad that we might never get another game like this and that it's so obscure. The studio that made this, Suricate Software, sold their soul to the devil and now only make Bejeweled clones.
This game is one of the most creative and unique games anyone has ever created... intentionally or unintentionally.
2021
This review contains spoilers
The premise is really cool. I don't know why they decided to barely do anything with it and instead just went the "erm what if Undertale was evil?" route.
You barely get to know anything about this world or any of the characters.
The plot is so cryptic and confusing, and it feels like it's leading up to some huge final twist that never comes.
The ending basically boils down to: "We didn't want to die, but now that you killed us, it actually ain't all so bad :D also Buddha is here)
And then the big emotional sendoff doesn't feel earned at all, since this game is barely 5 hours long and only 2 of the ~30 characters have any semblance of a personality. Do you really expect me to care about the save lamp posts? The mushrooms that have one line each? The purple haired lady?
Most of this game feels like a checklist of cool ideas the devs had, but none of them are developed very well:
Musical battle system ✓
Psychedelic gnome sequence (pretty colors) ✓
What if the castle was actually alive?? ✓
Spooky maze with chasing monster ✓
Mario Kart!! ✓
Rabbit = Sun ✓
D&D sequence ✓
Walking through a desert (cool 3D effect?) ✓
The sequel's gonna have a slime girl though.
You barely get to know anything about this world or any of the characters.
The plot is so cryptic and confusing, and it feels like it's leading up to some huge final twist that never comes.
The ending basically boils down to: "We didn't want to die, but now that you killed us, it actually ain't all so bad :D also Buddha is here)
And then the big emotional sendoff doesn't feel earned at all, since this game is barely 5 hours long and only 2 of the ~30 characters have any semblance of a personality. Do you really expect me to care about the save lamp posts? The mushrooms that have one line each? The purple haired lady?
Most of this game feels like a checklist of cool ideas the devs had, but none of them are developed very well:
Musical battle system ✓
Psychedelic gnome sequence (pretty colors) ✓
What if the castle was actually alive?? ✓
Spooky maze with chasing monster ✓
Mario Kart!! ✓
Rabbit = Sun ✓
D&D sequence ✓
Walking through a desert (cool 3D effect?) ✓
The sequel's gonna have a slime girl though.
2021
The RPG aspects are about as deep as a Cocomelon video, but it satisfies the urge to make up dumb shit for the fun of it.
Why yes, my noble teammate "Lightning McQueen vomiting to death", we do in fact have to stop Dark Lord CD-i Ganon.
Why yes, my noble teammate "Lightning McQueen vomiting to death", we do in fact have to stop Dark Lord CD-i Ganon.
2019
Pig slop.
Early access game masquerading as a full release that will never get updated again, because the dev sucks apparently.
This whole game feels like it's held together by duct tape and if I breath at it wrong, it's going to bluescreen my computer.
Some of the bonuses you unlock just straight up link to broken websites.
Early access game masquerading as a full release that will never get updated again, because the dev sucks apparently.
This whole game feels like it's held together by duct tape and if I breath at it wrong, it's going to bluescreen my computer.
Some of the bonuses you unlock just straight up link to broken websites.
2007
One of the best orchestral soundtracks of all time and it even comes with an extra entire video game as well.
2016
Starting to cope with the fact that I might actually be a heartless monster, because this game did nothing for me.
Some of the meta shenanigans were pretty cool though. I've never had a game change my PC wallpaper before.
Some of the meta shenanigans were pretty cool though. I've never had a game change my PC wallpaper before.
2013
Imagine doing one of those newspaper "spot the difference" puzzles but every once in a while you get attacked by terrorists.
2010
The only video game ever made.
2018
Pretty good for an introductory chapter, but pales in comparison to Chapter 2.
I kinda feel like Toby's gonna have to return to this and tweak everything up a bit before the full game's released.
I can't really place my finger on the issues I have with it. Some stuff's just kinda off. It's like a weird pilot episode.
I kinda feel like Toby's gonna have to return to this and tweak everything up a bit before the full game's released.
I can't really place my finger on the issues I have with it. Some stuff's just kinda off. It's like a weird pilot episode.
2021
Better than Undertale.
2007
This review contains spoilers
Some of the worst 2D platforming and level design in any game period, but god damn the plot and music will keep you hooked until the end. Sucks that the guy who wrote the story for this game was "taken care of", whatever that means, by Nintendo's Lethal Injection Department.
We all remember the cool moments, because they're so cool that you forget how lame the rest of this game is:
Mario goes to hell before he dies? Remember how you had to do the boring Underwhere staircase two times, because you need to return a book? Remember the fucking Overthere apple level?
Slave labor and spooky spider woman? Remember the genius game design decision to make you run in a hamster wheel for actual 15 real life minutes with nothing interesting happening?
The final boss? Remember how he literally dies in 3 seconds so you had to pretend to struggle a bit so you could hear more of "The Ultimate Show"? (We all did this, don't lie).
Still good enough for baby me to finish this game 4 times, and I recommend people to play this game just because of how memorable the really good parts of this game are.
We all remember the cool moments, because they're so cool that you forget how lame the rest of this game is:
Mario goes to hell before he dies? Remember how you had to do the boring Underwhere staircase two times, because you need to return a book? Remember the fucking Overthere apple level?
Slave labor and spooky spider woman? Remember the genius game design decision to make you run in a hamster wheel for actual 15 real life minutes with nothing interesting happening?
The final boss? Remember how he literally dies in 3 seconds so you had to pretend to struggle a bit so you could hear more of "The Ultimate Show"? (We all did this, don't lie).
Still good enough for baby me to finish this game 4 times, and I recommend people to play this game just because of how memorable the really good parts of this game are.
This is a "Fuck this game (974 hours on record)" kind of experience.
I remember playing this game while sick with the flu and vomiting all over my bed after I beat Dry Bowser. Never touched it since.