Here is a list of every single joke review I considered making:
Shellden Ring
Floodborne
Dark Shoals
Lies of Sea
Black Myth Dugong
Shellkiro: Shallows Rise Twice
Coral Shell
I couldn't pick one.
Anyway, weird how the funny-ass crab game is the best soulslike ever made that wasn't made by fromsoft. A fun art direction, a surprisingly good story, a really cool shell mechanic, and some very strong boss encounters. It's certainly lacking polish in a few areas and the music is occasionally quite bad, but I had a really REALLY good time with this game!
Shellden Ring
Floodborne
Dark Shoals
Lies of Sea
Black Myth Dugong
Shellkiro: Shallows Rise Twice
Coral Shell
I couldn't pick one.
Anyway, weird how the funny-ass crab game is the best soulslike ever made that wasn't made by fromsoft. A fun art direction, a surprisingly good story, a really cool shell mechanic, and some very strong boss encounters. It's certainly lacking polish in a few areas and the music is occasionally quite bad, but I had a really REALLY good time with this game!
It feels so odd to play a video game and have an actual reaction to the game's story like wtf?? game stories can be good???
Anyway, some parts were a liiiittle unpolished, it's missing some of the bigger advancements of metroidvanias over the past few years, and some of the combat encounters were a bit stupid in their balancing, but for a first-time team, it feels so crazy to me that this game looks and sounds this good on top of having some really fun combat and platforming sequences and a genuinely touching story. I am incredibly impressed by this game and I can't wait to see where they go from here.
Anyway, some parts were a liiiittle unpolished, it's missing some of the bigger advancements of metroidvanias over the past few years, and some of the combat encounters were a bit stupid in their balancing, but for a first-time team, it feels so crazy to me that this game looks and sounds this good on top of having some really fun combat and platforming sequences and a genuinely touching story. I am incredibly impressed by this game and I can't wait to see where they go from here.
PLEASE NOTE THIS IS THE EARLY ACCESS
So, as you can tell Ori and the Will of the Wisps is one of my favorite games of all time, so I was ECSTATIC when this game was revealed. I was so excited to play it and I finally got around to the Early Access. Unfortunately, the launch was a bit.. rougher than expected, Which I'll get into later, but beneath the Early Access crustiness lies yet another Moon Studios HIT.
In typical Moon studios fashion, this is one of the most beautiful games I've ever played, but in a very different way compared to Ori. Ori balances areas of darkness with equally high if not higher areas of serene wilderness, kind of like a Ghibli movie. Here though? This game is dark fantasy to the max, with some great gothic locations and some excellent character and boss designs. The Music also sounds great and the voice acting in the surprisingly well-animated cutscenes sound great as well.
Weirdly enough the sound editing isn't that great, with some attacks not having the weight that the animations make them out to have, and some things like the lock-on sound being a bit hard to discern but most of the rest of it turned out well. I can't comment on the story as we only have the first bit of it, but I am intrigued to see where it goes.
The combat is really heavy and slow, but very satisfying. There's a bit of weapon durability annoyance in there and the balancing of that vs the enemy density and strength is a bit lopsided, but it isn't too bad. It's a little weird how I can spec super hard into defense and yet some enemies can still kill me in one hit so that's a little silly.
Even more silly is the game's inventory management, which, as of now, just straight-up sucks. The UI is extremely crowded, with so much dicking around in these menus, compounded by the fact that there's no auto pickup making it a chore to collect resources which is how you offset the brutal durability system. And if you die too many times, you eventually reach that bloodborne loop where you have no healing items but you need stuff from enemies to get those healing items, which sends you into that familiar downward spiral. It can be a bit too punishing at times.
And that is on top of the multitude of Early Access weirdness in this game. There are a lot of basic QOL options not in the game, like key bind mapping and pausing, the frame rate was pretty bad at launch (though it has been fixed for me) and there are a bunch of minor bugs and features that just aren't here. In my mind, this is definitely an Early Access ass Early Access game.
And that's how I'd describe this game. It is a game that, in all of the areas that count, is spectacular. Great visuals, music, combat, exploration, and an interesting narrative. But the balancing on the game's systems, the QOL, and the polish in terms of bugs and performance could be better. This game is getting patched pretty frequently, so maybe by the next update or two, it can reach that level that the Ori games set out for it. But right now, I'd say to temper your expectations, since it IS early access.
So, as you can tell Ori and the Will of the Wisps is one of my favorite games of all time, so I was ECSTATIC when this game was revealed. I was so excited to play it and I finally got around to the Early Access. Unfortunately, the launch was a bit.. rougher than expected, Which I'll get into later, but beneath the Early Access crustiness lies yet another Moon Studios HIT.
In typical Moon studios fashion, this is one of the most beautiful games I've ever played, but in a very different way compared to Ori. Ori balances areas of darkness with equally high if not higher areas of serene wilderness, kind of like a Ghibli movie. Here though? This game is dark fantasy to the max, with some great gothic locations and some excellent character and boss designs. The Music also sounds great and the voice acting in the surprisingly well-animated cutscenes sound great as well.
Weirdly enough the sound editing isn't that great, with some attacks not having the weight that the animations make them out to have, and some things like the lock-on sound being a bit hard to discern but most of the rest of it turned out well. I can't comment on the story as we only have the first bit of it, but I am intrigued to see where it goes.
The combat is really heavy and slow, but very satisfying. There's a bit of weapon durability annoyance in there and the balancing of that vs the enemy density and strength is a bit lopsided, but it isn't too bad. It's a little weird how I can spec super hard into defense and yet some enemies can still kill me in one hit so that's a little silly.
Even more silly is the game's inventory management, which, as of now, just straight-up sucks. The UI is extremely crowded, with so much dicking around in these menus, compounded by the fact that there's no auto pickup making it a chore to collect resources which is how you offset the brutal durability system. And if you die too many times, you eventually reach that bloodborne loop where you have no healing items but you need stuff from enemies to get those healing items, which sends you into that familiar downward spiral. It can be a bit too punishing at times.
And that is on top of the multitude of Early Access weirdness in this game. There are a lot of basic QOL options not in the game, like key bind mapping and pausing, the frame rate was pretty bad at launch (though it has been fixed for me) and there are a bunch of minor bugs and features that just aren't here. In my mind, this is definitely an Early Access ass Early Access game.
And that's how I'd describe this game. It is a game that, in all of the areas that count, is spectacular. Great visuals, music, combat, exploration, and an interesting narrative. But the balancing on the game's systems, the QOL, and the polish in terms of bugs and performance could be better. This game is getting patched pretty frequently, so maybe by the next update or two, it can reach that level that the Ori games set out for it. But right now, I'd say to temper your expectations, since it IS early access.
2020
This review contains spoilers
20 YEARS OF GAMING PART 6 BUT I JUMPED AHEAD CUS THIS IS LONG AS SHIT
Why are you white.
Why are you white.
2024
I love momentum-based platformers. Got to be one of my favorite genders.
"Nintendo's Balan Wonderworld"
For a game so small and so simple, it feels odd having so much to say on it, but here we are. Nintendo has struggled to make Peach their own character for decades. There were a handful of games that came pretty close like the first 3 Paper Mario Games, Mario Odyssey, and, most related, Super Princess Peach. I have yet to play it, but the general consensus on that game is that it's "fine", but they were hoping Peach would get a game that would actually make use of her as her own character instead of making what can be somehow described as "2D Mario for Babies."
Well, here we are! This is that game! This is Peach's first solo game in 19 years and the first one that dares to make a unique gameplay style for her alone, similar to what they did with Luigi, Captain Toad, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, and Wario. This has all of the makings of an incredibly successful game that would spawn its own dedicated spin-off series that would get a new game every once in a while. And yet... after playing this game, It's become apparent how little this game offers. But I'm getting ahead of myself as there is actually a fair amount of stuff to appreciate.
The game as a whole looks quite good. The cutscenes are incredibly well-polished, I love the new character and costume designs, I love the animations of Peach's moves in her costumes, and I love the stageplay theming and the little details done to make it pop like how the camera moves and how the stage props show up, it sells us on the bit here. There are a couple of technical issues with this game I'll get into later, but on a purely artistic level, this game is quite strong and manages to make a unique impression. I also really admire the ambition to, like I said at the top, give Peach their own type of game that fits her as a character. There truly is no game quite like this one in the Mario series.
But that seems to be where the good things kind of end for me, so let's start with some of the more minor issues and slowly build from there. To keep on topic, yes, the game from an art direction standpoint is incredibly strong... however, it's clear that this game is struggling on this ancient ass system because not only is the resolution, even in docked mode, weirdly low but there are a couple of moments where the game chugs down to comical levels. It's most noticeable in cutscenes, costume transformations, and some of the bosses near the end of the game. So that's not great, but to round out the aesthetic gripes I have with this game, I don't think I like the game's music all that much. None of it sounds as bad as say, Yoshi's Crafted World (keep this name in mind. It will be important later), but none of it really jumps out as all that good apart from a couple of songs in the Cowboy and Mighty Peach segments.
If you're wondering how the game is narratively for some reason, don't bother. The extent of the story is that you get trapped in a theater with some purple guys who make everyone depressed and you have to make everyone not depressed (See? Just like Balan! Like I said earlier!). There is one minor story beat that happens later that had me sit up for a second, but it's quickly reversed so that's great. Looove that. Now, don't get me wrong, I was not expecting this game to have a super deep story. But some people pre-launch were hoping at least for something small and comedic similar to the modern-day Paper Mario games, but it seems to be a bit closer to Mario Wonder in this regard. Nothing special, but it doesn't need to be. However, this flaw seems to compound when I talk about the other issues this game has.
Princess Peach Showtime, weirdly enough, doesn't feel all that fun to play. Which is weird coming from.. a Nintendo-published platformer? It's like.. usually the one thing they get right. Peach's controls are sluggish, janky, and imprecise at points. The controls somewhat improve with a couple of the costumes like swordfighter, but it never feels all that fun to use. The only costumes that I actually had a genuinely fun time playing with were the Dashing Thief and Mighty Peach. All of these different costumes control very simply and just feel like the watered-down abilities of characters from other games, it doesn't make me feel like I'm "powered up" it makes me feel like I'm caught up to where I should be. (See? Just like- wait.)
Also, if you were hoping for a single costume that would have its own dedicated section in the game that wasn't already shown in the game's numerous trailers, then I'm sorry to disappoint you, but apart from one you get at the very end, every single costume you get has been shown in the trailers. I guess this is the fault of the marketing, and I'd definitely take quality over quantity, and these are all distinct enough to where I couldn't think of too many more to add, but at least hide them!
This game is also PISS easy. Not like normal Nintendo Easy where the games are still engaging, like so easy it becomes boring easy, without any way of making the game any more difficult for yourself. Now, again, I didn't expect Peach to be a "hard" game, but I at least expected it to be on the level of something like Mario Wonder or Luigi's Mansion 3, which were also easy, but they were also fun and engaging. This game takes the easy scale so far in the other direction that it just isn't that rewarding. You get 5 hit points (or up to 8, if you want), combat arenas and puzzles are incredibly simple, and bosses never pose as a threat and can sometimes be defeated after a single round. The ones that drag are the ones that are less fun and the ones that start to be kind of fun and interesting end so incredibly quickly that I feel like I'm getting edged out of fun gameplay.
The result of all of this; the lack of any challenge throughout the game, the sluggishness of the controls, the mega-basic bosses, the fact that none of the costume mechanics have any depth, and the nature of this game having only a few levels per costume but them being weirdly long, makes this possibly the single most boring Nintendo Published switch game. There are a bunch of switch games I personally think are worse, and this game does have a couple of redeeming qualities, but when you are making a video game for entertainment, then it not being entertaining means it has failed its job. I was initially going to give it a middling 5/10, but the longer I thought about it, the more the game's sleep-inducing gameplay and lack of direction kinda made me sad.
Though, it's not all that surprising. Through data mines of the game's demo, we have found that the game was developed by Good-Feel, the creators of Kirby's Epic Yarn, Wario-Land Shake It, and the two most recent Yoshi games. I didn't really like Crafted World all that much either, but at least my expectations going into it were already on the floor and it was part of a series I lost any and all interest in. This is a brand-new game. And one, based on those data mines, we can tell has been in the works for a while. Its code name "PJ037" hints it started development in between Yoshi's Crafted World "PJ033" and Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn "PJ040". Seeing as how the latter was revealed in September of 2018 and the Switch dev kits released in 2016, I think I can safely assume that this game has been in development since 2017, which would have been a whole 7 years of development. When you play the game with this assumption in mind, you can easily see the cracks of a long and tumultuous game development cycle in nearly every corner of this game. It feels like a game that was born from the idea of "Hey! let's make a peach game!" and they didn't know exactly what they wanted that game to be so they just tried to sample a bunch of small and basic minigames to see what stuck. It lacks any kind of direction or any interesting elements aside from its stageplay theme and some creative designs. It feels like it was supposed to be so much more, or at least something different. Let's hope that whatever they plan to do with this series next, whether a sequel to this or a brand new thing, they come up with a more solid direction for the game to take.
Because, frankly, Peach deserves better than this.
For a game so small and so simple, it feels odd having so much to say on it, but here we are. Nintendo has struggled to make Peach their own character for decades. There were a handful of games that came pretty close like the first 3 Paper Mario Games, Mario Odyssey, and, most related, Super Princess Peach. I have yet to play it, but the general consensus on that game is that it's "fine", but they were hoping Peach would get a game that would actually make use of her as her own character instead of making what can be somehow described as "2D Mario for Babies."
Well, here we are! This is that game! This is Peach's first solo game in 19 years and the first one that dares to make a unique gameplay style for her alone, similar to what they did with Luigi, Captain Toad, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, and Wario. This has all of the makings of an incredibly successful game that would spawn its own dedicated spin-off series that would get a new game every once in a while. And yet... after playing this game, It's become apparent how little this game offers. But I'm getting ahead of myself as there is actually a fair amount of stuff to appreciate.
The game as a whole looks quite good. The cutscenes are incredibly well-polished, I love the new character and costume designs, I love the animations of Peach's moves in her costumes, and I love the stageplay theming and the little details done to make it pop like how the camera moves and how the stage props show up, it sells us on the bit here. There are a couple of technical issues with this game I'll get into later, but on a purely artistic level, this game is quite strong and manages to make a unique impression. I also really admire the ambition to, like I said at the top, give Peach their own type of game that fits her as a character. There truly is no game quite like this one in the Mario series.
But that seems to be where the good things kind of end for me, so let's start with some of the more minor issues and slowly build from there. To keep on topic, yes, the game from an art direction standpoint is incredibly strong... however, it's clear that this game is struggling on this ancient ass system because not only is the resolution, even in docked mode, weirdly low but there are a couple of moments where the game chugs down to comical levels. It's most noticeable in cutscenes, costume transformations, and some of the bosses near the end of the game. So that's not great, but to round out the aesthetic gripes I have with this game, I don't think I like the game's music all that much. None of it sounds as bad as say, Yoshi's Crafted World (keep this name in mind. It will be important later), but none of it really jumps out as all that good apart from a couple of songs in the Cowboy and Mighty Peach segments.
If you're wondering how the game is narratively for some reason, don't bother. The extent of the story is that you get trapped in a theater with some purple guys who make everyone depressed and you have to make everyone not depressed (See? Just like Balan! Like I said earlier!). There is one minor story beat that happens later that had me sit up for a second, but it's quickly reversed so that's great. Looove that. Now, don't get me wrong, I was not expecting this game to have a super deep story. But some people pre-launch were hoping at least for something small and comedic similar to the modern-day Paper Mario games, but it seems to be a bit closer to Mario Wonder in this regard. Nothing special, but it doesn't need to be. However, this flaw seems to compound when I talk about the other issues this game has.
Princess Peach Showtime, weirdly enough, doesn't feel all that fun to play. Which is weird coming from.. a Nintendo-published platformer? It's like.. usually the one thing they get right. Peach's controls are sluggish, janky, and imprecise at points. The controls somewhat improve with a couple of the costumes like swordfighter, but it never feels all that fun to use. The only costumes that I actually had a genuinely fun time playing with were the Dashing Thief and Mighty Peach. All of these different costumes control very simply and just feel like the watered-down abilities of characters from other games, it doesn't make me feel like I'm "powered up" it makes me feel like I'm caught up to where I should be. (See? Just like- wait.)
Also, if you were hoping for a single costume that would have its own dedicated section in the game that wasn't already shown in the game's numerous trailers, then I'm sorry to disappoint you, but apart from one you get at the very end, every single costume you get has been shown in the trailers. I guess this is the fault of the marketing, and I'd definitely take quality over quantity, and these are all distinct enough to where I couldn't think of too many more to add, but at least hide them!
This game is also PISS easy. Not like normal Nintendo Easy where the games are still engaging, like so easy it becomes boring easy, without any way of making the game any more difficult for yourself. Now, again, I didn't expect Peach to be a "hard" game, but I at least expected it to be on the level of something like Mario Wonder or Luigi's Mansion 3, which were also easy, but they were also fun and engaging. This game takes the easy scale so far in the other direction that it just isn't that rewarding. You get 5 hit points (or up to 8, if you want), combat arenas and puzzles are incredibly simple, and bosses never pose as a threat and can sometimes be defeated after a single round. The ones that drag are the ones that are less fun and the ones that start to be kind of fun and interesting end so incredibly quickly that I feel like I'm getting edged out of fun gameplay.
The result of all of this; the lack of any challenge throughout the game, the sluggishness of the controls, the mega-basic bosses, the fact that none of the costume mechanics have any depth, and the nature of this game having only a few levels per costume but them being weirdly long, makes this possibly the single most boring Nintendo Published switch game. There are a bunch of switch games I personally think are worse, and this game does have a couple of redeeming qualities, but when you are making a video game for entertainment, then it not being entertaining means it has failed its job. I was initially going to give it a middling 5/10, but the longer I thought about it, the more the game's sleep-inducing gameplay and lack of direction kinda made me sad.
Though, it's not all that surprising. Through data mines of the game's demo, we have found that the game was developed by Good-Feel, the creators of Kirby's Epic Yarn, Wario-Land Shake It, and the two most recent Yoshi games. I didn't really like Crafted World all that much either, but at least my expectations going into it were already on the floor and it was part of a series I lost any and all interest in. This is a brand-new game. And one, based on those data mines, we can tell has been in the works for a while. Its code name "PJ037" hints it started development in between Yoshi's Crafted World "PJ033" and Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn "PJ040". Seeing as how the latter was revealed in September of 2018 and the Switch dev kits released in 2016, I think I can safely assume that this game has been in development since 2017, which would have been a whole 7 years of development. When you play the game with this assumption in mind, you can easily see the cracks of a long and tumultuous game development cycle in nearly every corner of this game. It feels like a game that was born from the idea of "Hey! let's make a peach game!" and they didn't know exactly what they wanted that game to be so they just tried to sample a bunch of small and basic minigames to see what stuck. It lacks any kind of direction or any interesting elements aside from its stageplay theme and some creative designs. It feels like it was supposed to be so much more, or at least something different. Let's hope that whatever they plan to do with this series next, whether a sequel to this or a brand new thing, they come up with a more solid direction for the game to take.
Because, frankly, Peach deserves better than this.
2008
20 YEARS OF GAMING PART 5
I can not think of a single game where the game's combat singularly ruins it quite like this one.
I can not think of a single game where the game's combat singularly ruins it quite like this one.
2024
"The localization is fine. Please just reconnect with soap and water for god's sake."
As someone who hopped on the VanillaWare train incredibly late, I am very happy to say that Unicorn Overlord is another really great RPG from them! It's, from what I've gathered, a lot closer to their older work than 13 Sentinels Aegis Rim. And just for starters, if you're expecting this game narratively to blow your dick off the way 13 Sentinels did, you will probably be disappointed. While the game's story isn't bad, it is fairly rote and predictable. Which isn't a bad thing and it remains entertaining due to its memorable cast of characters.
But like I said, this is maybe the one time where I can safely say that the story not being incredible isn't a deal breaker for an RPG, as the rest of the game is pretty damn great. To get the obvious out of the way, the art style and visual landscapes all look incredible. I sincerely wish to see more hand-drawn 2D RPGs in the future because this looks amazing. Additionally, the game sounds amazing too, not just with its great music but its strong sound design as well.
And of course, the strategy gameplay in this game is incredibly entertaining and borderline addicting. It seems simple and basic at first, but it opens itself up to a nice flow, while not being mindless like a bunch of the more recent FE games (insert Fates joke here). Some of the later missions especially actually required quite a bit of strategy and left me thinking for quite a bit on what path to take.
While some of its smaller gameplay systems like the Romance system could use some work (insert Fates joke he-), and I wish the UI was a lot more snappy and user-friendly with its layout, the overall flow of the gameplay is incredibly strong despite its narrative not being the most unique thing out there. Unicorn Overlord is an incredibly strong SRPG that I'd recommend to fans of the genre, even if in multiple ways, I do prefer 13 Sentinels to this game.
As someone who hopped on the VanillaWare train incredibly late, I am very happy to say that Unicorn Overlord is another really great RPG from them! It's, from what I've gathered, a lot closer to their older work than 13 Sentinels Aegis Rim. And just for starters, if you're expecting this game narratively to blow your dick off the way 13 Sentinels did, you will probably be disappointed. While the game's story isn't bad, it is fairly rote and predictable. Which isn't a bad thing and it remains entertaining due to its memorable cast of characters.
But like I said, this is maybe the one time where I can safely say that the story not being incredible isn't a deal breaker for an RPG, as the rest of the game is pretty damn great. To get the obvious out of the way, the art style and visual landscapes all look incredible. I sincerely wish to see more hand-drawn 2D RPGs in the future because this looks amazing. Additionally, the game sounds amazing too, not just with its great music but its strong sound design as well.
And of course, the strategy gameplay in this game is incredibly entertaining and borderline addicting. It seems simple and basic at first, but it opens itself up to a nice flow, while not being mindless like a bunch of the more recent FE games (insert Fates joke here). Some of the later missions especially actually required quite a bit of strategy and left me thinking for quite a bit on what path to take.
While some of its smaller gameplay systems like the Romance system could use some work (insert Fates joke he-), and I wish the UI was a lot more snappy and user-friendly with its layout, the overall flow of the gameplay is incredibly strong despite its narrative not being the most unique thing out there. Unicorn Overlord is an incredibly strong SRPG that I'd recommend to fans of the genre, even if in multiple ways, I do prefer 13 Sentinels to this game.
This review contains spoilers
"Wait, how are they supposed to call Part 3 Reunion if they already used that on the Crisis Core Remaster-"
At the core of this game, or should I say most of it, is a game that is leaps and bounds ahead of FF7 Remake in almost every way. I'll go into detail about that other stuff later but holy fuck this game is a fucking MIRACLE to play. The game looks and sounds mind-blowing with an easy Best Score and Music-winning soundtrack. Even though some of it is reused from Remake, the many MANY new tracks all sound amazing. It's also, like I said, graphically mind-blowing. Some of the shit that happens in this game is a technical achievement that 90% of other games would kill to get.
But it's not just the aesthetics, the game's combat is also noticeably improved from Remake. Instead of adding so many new major mechanics on top of Remake's system which would bloat the combat, instead it's mostly done through the new Synergy Skills, the new party members, and a bunch of little changes that fit so naturally into the combat style of Remake, that I bet that game is going to have the Breath of the Wild effect of "how did I ever play it like this" come in. Also for what it's worth I actually quite like how fun this game is compared to remake. There's a mission where you help a dog and then the song goes "Bow wow wow Bow wow wow" even while you fight enemies. It's a good year for doggies in JRPGs. And Queensblood is actually very addicting and I had to stop myself at a certain point so I could continue the narrative.
So, this game seems like the best Square Enix game since NieR Automata. So... why is it ranked LOWER than Remake for me? Well, there are two problems I have related to major parts of the game that I have some issues with. First, the open world. Yes, I love a bunch of the side quests I did do, but a lot of other aspects of this world feel very Ubisoft-y. Unlike most games with open-world elements, I just stopped exploring the world after a while. Even though they give you some incentive to explore it, it just wasn't all that fun and part of me wishes that they handled it a little differently. Because I had issues with the world design of FFXVI last year as well.
And speaking of FFXVI, one of my biggest complaints there was with how blah the story is. Well, I am pleased to report that FFVII Rebirth is actually incredibly strong in the story department. Sure they do have some pacing issues, and sure Cait Sith is one of the most annoying characters I've had the displeasure of experiencing in a while, but for the most part the cast's interactions, the narrative twists, and the emotional beats all hit leading to an incredibly satisfying narrative experience.
And then the game ends. Holy FUCK. I read early reviews criticizing the ending for going completely off the rails, and I had NO CLUE it would be this bad. It leaves an insanely bad taste in my mouth, which sucks because this is an otherwise incredible game. It's one thing if Fire Emblem Engage's ending is bad because the whole story is bad. But when you have a story and an experience as amazing as Rebirth and then hit us with Multiverse bullshit and an awkward retooling of Aerith's death, and Cloud going even more coo-coo than in the original, and I just wasn't a huge fan of it at all.
Even after over 30 hours of some of the best Final Fantasy gameplay I've ever played, this one fucking ending (along with the problems I have with the pacing) makes me look at this game a lot less fondly than Remake. When that ended, I was confused, sure, but I was overall intrigued to see where they take this. Now, I just have no clue how they're possibly going to stick the landing. It's mostly dependent on how Part 3 is done, but man this is so fucking awkward now.
However, it is still a great game because bow wow wow bow wow wow.
At the core of this game, or should I say most of it, is a game that is leaps and bounds ahead of FF7 Remake in almost every way. I'll go into detail about that other stuff later but holy fuck this game is a fucking MIRACLE to play. The game looks and sounds mind-blowing with an easy Best Score and Music-winning soundtrack. Even though some of it is reused from Remake, the many MANY new tracks all sound amazing. It's also, like I said, graphically mind-blowing. Some of the shit that happens in this game is a technical achievement that 90% of other games would kill to get.
But it's not just the aesthetics, the game's combat is also noticeably improved from Remake. Instead of adding so many new major mechanics on top of Remake's system which would bloat the combat, instead it's mostly done through the new Synergy Skills, the new party members, and a bunch of little changes that fit so naturally into the combat style of Remake, that I bet that game is going to have the Breath of the Wild effect of "how did I ever play it like this" come in. Also for what it's worth I actually quite like how fun this game is compared to remake. There's a mission where you help a dog and then the song goes "Bow wow wow Bow wow wow" even while you fight enemies. It's a good year for doggies in JRPGs. And Queensblood is actually very addicting and I had to stop myself at a certain point so I could continue the narrative.
So, this game seems like the best Square Enix game since NieR Automata. So... why is it ranked LOWER than Remake for me? Well, there are two problems I have related to major parts of the game that I have some issues with. First, the open world. Yes, I love a bunch of the side quests I did do, but a lot of other aspects of this world feel very Ubisoft-y. Unlike most games with open-world elements, I just stopped exploring the world after a while. Even though they give you some incentive to explore it, it just wasn't all that fun and part of me wishes that they handled it a little differently. Because I had issues with the world design of FFXVI last year as well.
And speaking of FFXVI, one of my biggest complaints there was with how blah the story is. Well, I am pleased to report that FFVII Rebirth is actually incredibly strong in the story department. Sure they do have some pacing issues, and sure Cait Sith is one of the most annoying characters I've had the displeasure of experiencing in a while, but for the most part the cast's interactions, the narrative twists, and the emotional beats all hit leading to an incredibly satisfying narrative experience.
And then the game ends. Holy FUCK. I read early reviews criticizing the ending for going completely off the rails, and I had NO CLUE it would be this bad. It leaves an insanely bad taste in my mouth, which sucks because this is an otherwise incredible game. It's one thing if Fire Emblem Engage's ending is bad because the whole story is bad. But when you have a story and an experience as amazing as Rebirth and then hit us with Multiverse bullshit and an awkward retooling of Aerith's death, and Cloud going even more coo-coo than in the original, and I just wasn't a huge fan of it at all.
Even after over 30 hours of some of the best Final Fantasy gameplay I've ever played, this one fucking ending (along with the problems I have with the pacing) makes me look at this game a lot less fondly than Remake. When that ended, I was confused, sure, but I was overall intrigued to see where they take this. Now, I just have no clue how they're possibly going to stick the landing. It's mostly dependent on how Part 3 is done, but man this is so fucking awkward now.
However, it is still a great game because bow wow wow bow wow wow.
A near mathematically precise 50/50 split between "We're so back" and "It's so over" is lifted up for me because it's clear that there was charm, passion, and effort that went into this game. Despite the jank and the bevy of technical problems and the fact that it never seems to take full advantage of any of its great ideas, when this game was going it was GOING and for LARGE chunks of the game, too.
So even if I can't in good conscience rate it any higher, I do not regret playing this. I just wish this could have had another 6-ish months of dev time to iron everything out.
So even if I can't in good conscience rate it any higher, I do not regret playing this. I just wish this could have had another 6-ish months of dev time to iron everything out.
Oh my god can you two fucking KISS ALREADY OH MY GOD-
Mario doesn't speak Italian gibberish in this version so it's an objectively worse version of the game I haven't played. Smh scamtendo..............
2024
This game is Quadruple Ass.
I am so glad I don't have to play this at launch. I played the open beta and an even earlier version about 6 months ago. The two versions were identical, and all accounts are saying that nothing has changed from the beta and the final game meaning I can talk about what I played.
That is, to say, a baffling regression from the 11-year-old AC: Black Flag. A game where 95% of all actions are done in your ship, only stepping out at specific ports to buy items and accept menial side quests. A game where you do all of the combat, exploration, and SURVIVAL MECHANICS in your ship. A truly baffling game that is so clearly limping out of development hell, and you can see it in every aspect of the game.
You can tell this game was going to have some sort of story at some point, but it just.. doesn't. I sometimes complain about RPGs that have a main quest that feels like a bunch of side quests duct-taped together but that's LITERALLY what this is. There is no overarching storyline, no interesting characters, NOTHING. Just awkwardly presented window dressing for you to do boring open-world quests that either ask you to find some materials kill a couple of ships or some flavor of those two.
It doesn't help that the game doesn't look that great either. There are moments where the visuals look pleasing like during a sunset, but the closer you are to the visuals the crustier and less defined they look, made all the worse when you see just how BUGGY this game is. There were so many opportunities to fix the bugs from the previous times I've played this game and we got NOTHING. Audio bugs, visual bugs, frame drops, server crashes, game crashes, the whole shebang. I have reported at least 8 of the bugs that still show up in the final product of this $70 Quadruple-A game.
The open-world and survival bullshit is not frustrating, but it is incredibly monotonous. Ship controls are generally janky and the process of mining for loot, using it to upgrade your ship, and increasing your infamy level CAN be super rewarding if it weren't for several baffling design decisions like the fact that you have to do ALL of that in your ship. But the other big one is that.. that's the extent of the game.
It's not deep enough to invest all your time into, but it takes the place of an interesting story, actual quests that mean anything, out-of-ship exploration, all of it. While it may have some nice music and there are brief moments where the stars align and the gameplay loop is decently engaging and interesting, it just doesn't make up for everything that was lost. It's just an objectively lesser version of a PART of Black Flag, stuffed with microtransactions and shoved onto stores for $70. What an embarrassing turnout from Ubisoft.
I am so glad I don't have to play this at launch. I played the open beta and an even earlier version about 6 months ago. The two versions were identical, and all accounts are saying that nothing has changed from the beta and the final game meaning I can talk about what I played.
That is, to say, a baffling regression from the 11-year-old AC: Black Flag. A game where 95% of all actions are done in your ship, only stepping out at specific ports to buy items and accept menial side quests. A game where you do all of the combat, exploration, and SURVIVAL MECHANICS in your ship. A truly baffling game that is so clearly limping out of development hell, and you can see it in every aspect of the game.
You can tell this game was going to have some sort of story at some point, but it just.. doesn't. I sometimes complain about RPGs that have a main quest that feels like a bunch of side quests duct-taped together but that's LITERALLY what this is. There is no overarching storyline, no interesting characters, NOTHING. Just awkwardly presented window dressing for you to do boring open-world quests that either ask you to find some materials kill a couple of ships or some flavor of those two.
It doesn't help that the game doesn't look that great either. There are moments where the visuals look pleasing like during a sunset, but the closer you are to the visuals the crustier and less defined they look, made all the worse when you see just how BUGGY this game is. There were so many opportunities to fix the bugs from the previous times I've played this game and we got NOTHING. Audio bugs, visual bugs, frame drops, server crashes, game crashes, the whole shebang. I have reported at least 8 of the bugs that still show up in the final product of this $70 Quadruple-A game.
The open-world and survival bullshit is not frustrating, but it is incredibly monotonous. Ship controls are generally janky and the process of mining for loot, using it to upgrade your ship, and increasing your infamy level CAN be super rewarding if it weren't for several baffling design decisions like the fact that you have to do ALL of that in your ship. But the other big one is that.. that's the extent of the game.
It's not deep enough to invest all your time into, but it takes the place of an interesting story, actual quests that mean anything, out-of-ship exploration, all of it. While it may have some nice music and there are brief moments where the stars align and the gameplay loop is decently engaging and interesting, it just doesn't make up for everything that was lost. It's just an objectively lesser version of a PART of Black Flag, stuffed with microtransactions and shoved onto stores for $70. What an embarrassing turnout from Ubisoft.
I am so glad this exists, even if there isn't that much for people who aren't in on the bit and it doesn't have a super unique identity.
2024
Every game in history should contain a realistic dog as a playable character.
Finally, after all this time, Persona 3 is a good game! Yeah this kinda fixed almost every single problem with the original Persona 3 and added so much that it basically feels like a new game. The cutscenes look amazing now, both with an improved Royal visual style and the 2D cutscenes looking absolutely incredible. The voice acting is done amazingly well, and the combat is GOOD now with multiple new features including the ability to control your other party members FINALLY. The dorm visually and sonically is fairly neutered compared to the OG, but the rest of the new songs and tartarus areas look great and... oh yeah...
See, the one thing holding this game back from the 10/10 it was so close to getting was Tartarus. It's definitely not AS boring, but i don't know, I still didn't really vibe with it. The structure just doesn't work for me and we spend enough of the game in there that it definitely detracts from it a little bit. I'd argue about the fact that The Answer and FeMC aren't here but one would be such a massive undertaking that it would nearly double the work they'd need to do, and the other is not only getting worked on as DLC apparently, but also sucks!
Regardless of these flaws, Persona 3 Reload is a near flawless remake that finally makes this game reach its full potential, giving you a fun, content-rich, visually-masterful, sonically-masterful, and incredibly deep avenue to experience what very well may be the best story ever put into a Role-Playing game, now with such an improved presentation that old scenes I experienced a while ago hit a whole lot different now. It fucking hurts man.
And the best part? This may not be the last great atlus RPG we get this year. We are so back.
Finally, after all this time, Persona 3 is a good game! Yeah this kinda fixed almost every single problem with the original Persona 3 and added so much that it basically feels like a new game. The cutscenes look amazing now, both with an improved Royal visual style and the 2D cutscenes looking absolutely incredible. The voice acting is done amazingly well, and the combat is GOOD now with multiple new features including the ability to control your other party members FINALLY. The dorm visually and sonically is fairly neutered compared to the OG, but the rest of the new songs and tartarus areas look great and... oh yeah...
See, the one thing holding this game back from the 10/10 it was so close to getting was Tartarus. It's definitely not AS boring, but i don't know, I still didn't really vibe with it. The structure just doesn't work for me and we spend enough of the game in there that it definitely detracts from it a little bit. I'd argue about the fact that The Answer and FeMC aren't here but one would be such a massive undertaking that it would nearly double the work they'd need to do, and the other is not only getting worked on as DLC apparently, but also sucks!
Regardless of these flaws, Persona 3 Reload is a near flawless remake that finally makes this game reach its full potential, giving you a fun, content-rich, visually-masterful, sonically-masterful, and incredibly deep avenue to experience what very well may be the best story ever put into a Role-Playing game, now with such an improved presentation that old scenes I experienced a while ago hit a whole lot different now. It fucking hurts man.
And the best part? This may not be the last great atlus RPG we get this year. We are so back.