Seltzy
BACKER
70 reviews liked by Seltzy
This review contains spoilers
Finally, a good JRPG.
This game blew me away, incredibly fun mechanics, great characters and a surprisingly intense story I was not expecting from a Mario game.
I only have two minor complains, the first being that the sun in Riverside Station is layered in front of the mountains for some reason, which gives the appearance that the sun is tiny and sinking into the earth. Most people didn't even notice but I noticed, it's my review and it bothers the hell out of me so I'm including it here.
Second, slightly more substantial complaint; the part right at the end where Goombella updates you on all the characters kind of weakens the story, just a little imo. Things just wrap up way too nicely and it feels kinda jarring and out of place. Vivian is back with her sisters who have "promised" to be good to her now (when they were trying to destroy the planet just a few minutes ago), Grodus survived being blasted by the Shadow Witch (we saw his head get destroyed but sure whatever) and is apparently no longer evil because ???? but most aggregious of all, TEC's death, a moment in the story that was very impactful and a perfect conclusion to the character, is just unceremoniously undone with no explanation or reason, they just undo one of the best moments in the story and retro-actively take away stakes from the plot for seemingly no reason.
These issues aren't enough for me to lower the score, but they do still irritate me. I guess just because the rest of the game is so perfect, there being one or two non-perfect things kinda sticks out.
Still, the next Paper Mario NEEDS to be like this. I want cool unique characters, an actual immersive story with stakes, and for the paper stuff to just be aesthetic, not literal. Stop trying to make Mario literal paper! He's paper because this is a storybook retelling of real in-universe events!! GOD
This game blew me away, incredibly fun mechanics, great characters and a surprisingly intense story I was not expecting from a Mario game.
I only have two minor complains, the first being that the sun in Riverside Station is layered in front of the mountains for some reason, which gives the appearance that the sun is tiny and sinking into the earth. Most people didn't even notice but I noticed, it's my review and it bothers the hell out of me so I'm including it here.
Second, slightly more substantial complaint; the part right at the end where Goombella updates you on all the characters kind of weakens the story, just a little imo. Things just wrap up way too nicely and it feels kinda jarring and out of place. Vivian is back with her sisters who have "promised" to be good to her now (when they were trying to destroy the planet just a few minutes ago), Grodus survived being blasted by the Shadow Witch (we saw his head get destroyed but sure whatever) and is apparently no longer evil because ???? but most aggregious of all, TEC's death, a moment in the story that was very impactful and a perfect conclusion to the character, is just unceremoniously undone with no explanation or reason, they just undo one of the best moments in the story and retro-actively take away stakes from the plot for seemingly no reason.
These issues aren't enough for me to lower the score, but they do still irritate me. I guess just because the rest of the game is so perfect, there being one or two non-perfect things kinda sticks out.
Still, the next Paper Mario NEEDS to be like this. I want cool unique characters, an actual immersive story with stakes, and for the paper stuff to just be aesthetic, not literal. Stop trying to make Mario literal paper! He's paper because this is a storybook retelling of real in-universe events!! GOD
Chrono Cross
1999
The idea of making a sequel to Chrono Trigger seems like a fool's errand, but surprisingly enough, the direction of Chrono Cross as a sequel is magnificent. They could have bitten off Trigger and made a budget-heavy, digestible sequel, but they didn’t. When sequels are made, creators can look back and improve upon their past mistakes. So looking at Trigger, what is there to change? There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, so how can it be improved in a sequel? This is why I respect the vision of Chrono Cross so much as a game and especially as a sequel. It doesn’t do the same thing better, but it rethinks the genre entirely.
Cross introduces so many quality-of-life gaming mechanics that have gone widely unused in the genre outside of its release period, and that is a shame. Gaming has instead leaned into battering you with where you need to be next with a marker indicating where to go, ensuring you’ll never be questioning what to do next. That’s the difference with Chrono Cross. Modern gaming is the equivalent of that one teacher in elementary school who was a little too nice and gave you the answers on your test when they shouldn’t have. Chrono Cross is instead like a well-trained tutor that gives you the tools you need to succeed but doesn’t flat-out give you the answers and makes you figure it out on your own.
One of the features added that signifies this game's new direction is the ability to run away from boss battles with a 100 percent success rate. If you’re not equipped with magic suited for the fight, used the wrong spell, were about to die, or just didn’t like the way the fight played out, you’re welcome to run away from any fight you want with no penalty. Most games will let you retry a fight after death with no repercussions now, but you’ve got to remember, this was 1999! It doesn’t want you to lose hours of progress from something you couldn’t see coming and instead gives you all the attempts you need to figure out how to beat bosses.
The gimmick of Chrono Cross's combat is equipable moves. You obtain them as an item of sorts, and you can find them in dungeons or in shops. You need to balance out buffs, consumables, attack magic, and the like in the limited slots available. Most of these moves are permanent and don't run out, but what makes them weird is that once you use one of them, you’re not able to use it again for the duration of the battle, so what you have equipped always matters. That also means that all your magic will be recharged for the next battle. I love this, to put it bluntly. There’s no anxiety about saving all your MP for a boss battle; instead, you’re just expected to have experiment and use what you have without repercussion.
It just makes Cross have this easy-going and well-balanced experience. You’re not required to constantly re-equip yourself in towns or stop at inns. You just kind of, well, play the game. I’m making the game sound like it's way too easy, but no. It has a great difficulty curve, which I’ve come to expect from Square. The way it maintains the difficulty throughout the game, though, is through its fixed leveling. After defeating bosses in the story, sometimes you’ll unlock growth levels. These basically allow you to level up your stats from completing battles up until a certain point and lock off stat gains until you get more growth levels. In other words, Chrono Cross found a plausible solution to creating a grind-free RPG, and it works great. FF8 tried to get rid of grinding too, but it was flawed in its fundamentals by implying that you draw a surplus of moves from enemies, which is a different facet of grinding. It also punished the player for grinding by having dynamic leveling that made enemies harder as you leveled up, which is quite evil for the blind player. It feels like they took into account the flaws of FF8 and reworked them to be less obtuse and more user-friendly.
One of my favorite parts of Cross is its Suikoden-esque gameplay. Cross is, I guess, in the niche sub-genre of character-collecting RPGs. There’s 45 playable characters to get in the game, and instead of heading back to the castle to swap out party members in Suikoden, you can just swap them out whenever you want on the overworld. It was surprising to find a QOL I wanted in Suikoden lying in Chrono Cross this entire time. Obviously, not all these characters are good; many get much more screen time than others. Many stick out, though, my favorite being Karsh, as I loved his character arc. My favorite part about them is all of their connecting backgrounds. Instead of our traditional band of 7 or so party members, Cross focuses on building the world on a broader scale with a large number of characters to choose from, with many being interconnected in some way or another.
Square’s golden era was during the PS1, and Chrono Cross is a finite example of that. It showcases Square’s innovation and their ability to be effectively experimental, but unfortunately, it didn’t have the impact it rightfully deserved. Much of Cross's game design went unnoticed in the grand scheme of things, as it has many features that I think could have become the norm for RPGs but just didn’t catch on as well as something like FF7. I’ll close by saying that Chrono Cross is one of the best sequels of all time and should serve as an example of what makes a great one. It takes place in a brand new setting and has completely reformed gameplay. Everything is different, almost unrecognizable at first, but the way it intertwines itself into the series is superb.
Cross introduces so many quality-of-life gaming mechanics that have gone widely unused in the genre outside of its release period, and that is a shame. Gaming has instead leaned into battering you with where you need to be next with a marker indicating where to go, ensuring you’ll never be questioning what to do next. That’s the difference with Chrono Cross. Modern gaming is the equivalent of that one teacher in elementary school who was a little too nice and gave you the answers on your test when they shouldn’t have. Chrono Cross is instead like a well-trained tutor that gives you the tools you need to succeed but doesn’t flat-out give you the answers and makes you figure it out on your own.
One of the features added that signifies this game's new direction is the ability to run away from boss battles with a 100 percent success rate. If you’re not equipped with magic suited for the fight, used the wrong spell, were about to die, or just didn’t like the way the fight played out, you’re welcome to run away from any fight you want with no penalty. Most games will let you retry a fight after death with no repercussions now, but you’ve got to remember, this was 1999! It doesn’t want you to lose hours of progress from something you couldn’t see coming and instead gives you all the attempts you need to figure out how to beat bosses.
The gimmick of Chrono Cross's combat is equipable moves. You obtain them as an item of sorts, and you can find them in dungeons or in shops. You need to balance out buffs, consumables, attack magic, and the like in the limited slots available. Most of these moves are permanent and don't run out, but what makes them weird is that once you use one of them, you’re not able to use it again for the duration of the battle, so what you have equipped always matters. That also means that all your magic will be recharged for the next battle. I love this, to put it bluntly. There’s no anxiety about saving all your MP for a boss battle; instead, you’re just expected to have experiment and use what you have without repercussion.
It just makes Cross have this easy-going and well-balanced experience. You’re not required to constantly re-equip yourself in towns or stop at inns. You just kind of, well, play the game. I’m making the game sound like it's way too easy, but no. It has a great difficulty curve, which I’ve come to expect from Square. The way it maintains the difficulty throughout the game, though, is through its fixed leveling. After defeating bosses in the story, sometimes you’ll unlock growth levels. These basically allow you to level up your stats from completing battles up until a certain point and lock off stat gains until you get more growth levels. In other words, Chrono Cross found a plausible solution to creating a grind-free RPG, and it works great. FF8 tried to get rid of grinding too, but it was flawed in its fundamentals by implying that you draw a surplus of moves from enemies, which is a different facet of grinding. It also punished the player for grinding by having dynamic leveling that made enemies harder as you leveled up, which is quite evil for the blind player. It feels like they took into account the flaws of FF8 and reworked them to be less obtuse and more user-friendly.
One of my favorite parts of Cross is its Suikoden-esque gameplay. Cross is, I guess, in the niche sub-genre of character-collecting RPGs. There’s 45 playable characters to get in the game, and instead of heading back to the castle to swap out party members in Suikoden, you can just swap them out whenever you want on the overworld. It was surprising to find a QOL I wanted in Suikoden lying in Chrono Cross this entire time. Obviously, not all these characters are good; many get much more screen time than others. Many stick out, though, my favorite being Karsh, as I loved his character arc. My favorite part about them is all of their connecting backgrounds. Instead of our traditional band of 7 or so party members, Cross focuses on building the world on a broader scale with a large number of characters to choose from, with many being interconnected in some way or another.
Square’s golden era was during the PS1, and Chrono Cross is a finite example of that. It showcases Square’s innovation and their ability to be effectively experimental, but unfortunately, it didn’t have the impact it rightfully deserved. Much of Cross's game design went unnoticed in the grand scheme of things, as it has many features that I think could have become the norm for RPGs but just didn’t catch on as well as something like FF7. I’ll close by saying that Chrono Cross is one of the best sequels of all time and should serve as an example of what makes a great one. It takes place in a brand new setting and has completely reformed gameplay. Everything is different, almost unrecognizable at first, but the way it intertwines itself into the series is superb.
Chrono Cross
1999
Shamefully never got around to this one until the Radical Dreamers re-release, but holy crap what a game! I feel like I'd always heard too much about people comparing it to Chrono Trigger, when it's really its own animal. The split-timeline structure is such an interesting swerve after the first game was more linear time travel. Much like with the Star Ocean games I don't love that you can't get all the party members in one playthrough, but considering there are 50 of them here it makes a little more sense. The sprawling cast of characters was one of the high points of the game, I loved seeing how many of them ended up joining us in different ways. The radical shifts the story takes were also pretty exhilarating, and the ending was dynamite. I wish they'd kept some of the stronger connections to Chrono Trigger that Radical Dreamers set-up, but ah well.
Combat took some getting used to, but there was a pleasantly surprising amount of strategy to the manipulation of the field colors. Once I got into the groove it was darn fun. I also liked the gimmick of being able to run away from any fight, even bosses. This game's another incredible entry for the PS1 RPG library, I just wish they'd worked out how to make more games in this series!
Combat took some getting used to, but there was a pleasantly surprising amount of strategy to the manipulation of the field colors. Once I got into the groove it was darn fun. I also liked the gimmick of being able to run away from any fight, even bosses. This game's another incredible entry for the PS1 RPG library, I just wish they'd worked out how to make more games in this series!
where do I even start with this one man. I’m tired, boss.
this was my first foret into the RPG side of the Mega Man universe, and to be totally honest…it did NOT leave a very good impression! Everything in this game is wrapped up in such a cute, charming little package but I was really struggling to find even little pockets of fun. The game is needlessly confusing in terms of direction way too frequently, with progression flags being weirdly obtuse, and this goes doubly so in the internet sections and the dungeons; everything. looks. exactly. the same. and it’s even easier to get disoriented from where you’re heading in these monstrosities because someone working on this game cranked the encounter rate up 700% by accident. I like the premise of the battle system, but they require just enough engagement that you can’t just “grind them out” which makes the jacked up encounter rate even worse. This would be slightly more tolerable if you could flee from battles but, of course, someone decided it would be a good idea to make the escape command…a chip you have to equip in your battle deck meaning it’s entirely random if and when during a battle you get to flee. It unironically saves a significant amount of time to take a few steps, save, and then reload your game when you get into an encounter; going through that nonsense is genuinely way faster than slogging through some of the game’s more tedious encounter stretches. Everything is also a weird blend of way too easy and surprisingly punishing at the same time? You’re healed after every encounter meaning you can kinda just fling yourself into things with reckless abandon (which almost always works) but then there’s the occasional enemy formation that’s either next to impossible to avoid without a little face tanking or a random enemy that just decides to hit like a truck for absolutely no reason.
The story, characters, and moment to moment writing are boring and do nothing to really keep you in the experience and make you actually want to fight through all the nonsense. I’ll be honest and say that if I wasn’t specially on a mission to play every Mega Man game, I would have dropped this and abandoned hope for future Battle Network titles as a whole. It really is a shame that I feel this way because my hopes and expectations were initially quite high.
this was my first foret into the RPG side of the Mega Man universe, and to be totally honest…it did NOT leave a very good impression! Everything in this game is wrapped up in such a cute, charming little package but I was really struggling to find even little pockets of fun. The game is needlessly confusing in terms of direction way too frequently, with progression flags being weirdly obtuse, and this goes doubly so in the internet sections and the dungeons; everything. looks. exactly. the same. and it’s even easier to get disoriented from where you’re heading in these monstrosities because someone working on this game cranked the encounter rate up 700% by accident. I like the premise of the battle system, but they require just enough engagement that you can’t just “grind them out” which makes the jacked up encounter rate even worse. This would be slightly more tolerable if you could flee from battles but, of course, someone decided it would be a good idea to make the escape command…a chip you have to equip in your battle deck meaning it’s entirely random if and when during a battle you get to flee. It unironically saves a significant amount of time to take a few steps, save, and then reload your game when you get into an encounter; going through that nonsense is genuinely way faster than slogging through some of the game’s more tedious encounter stretches. Everything is also a weird blend of way too easy and surprisingly punishing at the same time? You’re healed after every encounter meaning you can kinda just fling yourself into things with reckless abandon (which almost always works) but then there’s the occasional enemy formation that’s either next to impossible to avoid without a little face tanking or a random enemy that just decides to hit like a truck for absolutely no reason.
The story, characters, and moment to moment writing are boring and do nothing to really keep you in the experience and make you actually want to fight through all the nonsense. I’ll be honest and say that if I wasn’t specially on a mission to play every Mega Man game, I would have dropped this and abandoned hope for future Battle Network titles as a whole. It really is a shame that I feel this way because my hopes and expectations were initially quite high.
Animal Well
2024
I really wanted to like this.
The puzzles didn't exactly blow my mind, but there were so clever solutions. I found the ones that required extreme precision to be really frustrating. I just couldn't find any value in this besides it somewhat reminding me of the better games it was inspired by.
The puzzles didn't exactly blow my mind, but there were so clever solutions. I found the ones that required extreme precision to be really frustrating. I just couldn't find any value in this besides it somewhat reminding me of the better games it was inspired by.
Simple but charming game. Clearly a Good-Feel kids game but I enjoyed it. I was hoping it would have a lot of the charm that Super Princess Peach did on the DS but not really. It's a damn shame this doesn't run at 60 fps. Considering Mario Odyssey, 3D world, Wonder and Mario Kart 8, all run at 60 fps and run laps around this game graphically, it's just disappointing. You're honestly not missing much skipping this game.
Look, its not comparable to early silent hill and i think its unfair to do so. long before this rendition, the silent hill name has been desecrated as a cash cow. This is not revolutionary or even particularly deep but for the love of god can people chill tf out LOL i know its cool to be a hater and everyone is hive minded but its not THAT bad. i wasn't the target audience as a 27yo woman but i can feel myself really enjoying this when i was younger and maybe my taste wasn't so refined and things needed to be a little less obscure. You can see the shortcomings very clearly, japanese devs trying to make something for americans (westerners) translation that isnt great hence the hilariously bad "ugly!" "stupid!" "weirdo!" schizo post-its and dialogue, some truly terrible english voice acing in some parts - I thought the PC was voiced pretty well though.
Enjoy it for what it is; a 2-3 hour, FREE little practice teaser of the type of horror and aesthetics that is to come from KONAMI's hexadrive (who are new devs apart of KONAMI). It was so very obviously meant to be for younger people, mainly girls and it was littered of references to past silent hill games - even very much PT. The devs clearly love and respect silent hill IP let them find their footing and hate on KONAMI all you want but leave the lil guys out of it.
plus, again, IT IS FREE, $0.00
I love silent hill, its been apart of my identity for some time, maybe im just becoming a boomer on the internet by this point but i wish we didnt all have such hate boners for everything, just like, move on and let the teenage girls enjoy things if they want.
plus music and monster was amazing but that is not a surprise.
Enjoy it for what it is; a 2-3 hour, FREE little practice teaser of the type of horror and aesthetics that is to come from KONAMI's hexadrive (who are new devs apart of KONAMI). It was so very obviously meant to be for younger people, mainly girls and it was littered of references to past silent hill games - even very much PT. The devs clearly love and respect silent hill IP let them find their footing and hate on KONAMI all you want but leave the lil guys out of it.
plus, again, IT IS FREE, $0.00
I love silent hill, its been apart of my identity for some time, maybe im just becoming a boomer on the internet by this point but i wish we didnt all have such hate boners for everything, just like, move on and let the teenage girls enjoy things if they want.
plus music and monster was amazing but that is not a surprise.
at this point in my life i think i am looking for experiences with a few less hugs than this
Sonic Lost World
2013
This game is actually miserable to play. It's super fucking clunky. Level design is ass. The only good stages are the first 2. It's a shame because I like the idea of a slower paced Sonic game. One that focus on being a more slower paced platformer. I was excited for this game when it was being shown off. This came out after Colors and Generations which, while I'm not too keen on those games now, at the time were both fantastic! Sonic in my eyes could do no wrong! Now over 10 years later I'm finally getting to it and holy shit is this game miserable. I really really really wanted to be like "it's not that bad, people are just haters" but no this game is actually fucking dreadful.
Alan Wake
2010
I'm so sorry, I really wanted to like the game, but the gameplay is mediocre, I can't believe Resident Evil 4 is one of the most influential games in action and this game took nothing from it.
The combat is reduced to lighting the enemies and using the pistol and shotgun or rifle, Also grenades and flares, running away is not a very good option, since the enemies are very fast and it is difficult to know when they will attack you from behind, Alan does not even run, just dodge infinitely and is very vulnerable, there are no kicks or a melee weapon, if you do not have bullets or other tools you're screwed.
The game looks for excuses to stay in the same forest as always in the most ridiculous ways, for example when they possess Rose and despite having changed her personality they don't hesitate a bit and have a coffee with a sleeping pill xD
The story is the best part of the game, especially the ending, it's open to two possible endings, it's great.
I really do not know if I recommend this game, if you do not mind eating 8 hours of the same monotonous gameplay with the same old forest that stretches like a chewing gum is your game.
The combat is reduced to lighting the enemies and using the pistol and shotgun or rifle, Also grenades and flares, running away is not a very good option, since the enemies are very fast and it is difficult to know when they will attack you from behind, Alan does not even run, just dodge infinitely and is very vulnerable, there are no kicks or a melee weapon, if you do not have bullets or other tools you're screwed.
The game looks for excuses to stay in the same forest as always in the most ridiculous ways, for example when they possess Rose and despite having changed her personality they don't hesitate a bit and have a coffee with a sleeping pill xD
The story is the best part of the game, especially the ending, it's open to two possible endings, it's great.
I really do not know if I recommend this game, if you do not mind eating 8 hours of the same monotonous gameplay with the same old forest that stretches like a chewing gum is your game.