appstore
2017
the best burger king game for the ps2
2018
The genius of this game is not in the mechanics. Mechanically it's a pretty good starter shmup. The genius is how they handle progression, and how they grow the possibilities of what the player can do BECAUSE they failed. It's a complete inversion of coin-op arcade mechanics, where failure gives instead of takes, and in a world where shmups have struggled to find hooks outside of long term fans, this is an absolutely killer idea.
No one told me this is a franchise that has zombies, and my disappointment when it was time to deal with zombies was such that I gave my copy of this away.
2020
One of the most horrifying visions of the future ever made, like if Disney made I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream. How anyone can see these cooing eunuch death drive junkies and not feel disturbed blows my mind.
2008
If Pac-Man could make you cry it'd be Far Cry 2.
2008
Your endorsement of this game means you don't like beatemups.
The first game I waited for a midnight release for (wasn't worth it) and also the first time I feel like I missed the boat on something (didn't understand DOTA the first time I tried it, never tried it again). Important for my growth, but not a great video game.
1991
I was going to write a review about how cool it is that decades later this game has gotten an appropriate amount of love and respect for how great it is, but opening this profile has been the first time I've seen this boxart and just holy shit man what a perfect video game
1989
If beatemups were punk rock bands, this is The Ramones. Not first, but first big, and some parts are pretty cool at least.
2004
meme proposal
format: gundam shooting point of gundam over the head of man saying "wow cool robots"
adaptation details:
-gundam is king of all cosmos
-gun is him vomiting royal rainbow over head of bystander
-rainbow has text that says "human life is entirely junk and one day the universe will put an end to our ephemerous cancer cell civilization and we will not only have earned it, we will love it"
-observer says "wow cool wacky japan"
format: gundam shooting point of gundam over the head of man saying "wow cool robots"
adaptation details:
-gundam is king of all cosmos
-gun is him vomiting royal rainbow over head of bystander
-rainbow has text that says "human life is entirely junk and one day the universe will put an end to our ephemerous cancer cell civilization and we will not only have earned it, we will love it"
-observer says "wow cool wacky japan"
2000
There's a looney tunes cartoon where Sylvester is attempting to fire a musket at Tweety Bird. It misfires in some fashion and launches him into the sky, and as he's walking down the stairs back down to his target, he's getting the order right in his head. "First the powder, then the charge, then the wad." Inevitably he fails, shoots himself back into the attic, and then thinks of a different order of actions on his way back to the bird.
2011
The people who love this game would fuck a corpse and just haven't been given the right opportunity.
2022
Often as fun as stubbing your toe or remembering you forgot to get a refund.
FIVE GRAAAND.
When this game gave me horrific nightmares about car sized ants, I had no way of knowing then that it would prepare me to beat Elden Ring nearly 30 years later.