279 Reviews liked by babyjeff


Never played but obligated to give it a 10/10 because of how much enjoyment I get from joining a new MegaTen server, making a joke about how Persona 3 was the first Persona game, turning notifications on my phone, and then shoving it up my ass

We ain’t trying to do geometry, we’re trying to play some games

Is and will always be my favorite game of all time. The gameplay, the story, the graphics, the propaganda for the military industrial complex; it’s all just perfect. The only thing that could be more fun than this game is making a dumb gimmick account as something to do when I’m bored during work and getting a surprisingly high amount of clout amongst a community I mostly chose not to engage with. Thanks for 10,000 likes.
Also, Fidel Castro is like the rawest video game character of all time and I wish he was real so fucking much.

In which a bunch of loser karate larpers do lame ass combos while elevator music plays

Shovel Knight fans disappointed to get yuri (actually good) instead of a fourth shitty platformer

Erases representation for the most oppressed minority: left handed people

In the long time I’ve spent running this account, I’ve grown both as a reviewer and as a person. And it’s become increasingly apparent that I need to apologize for a long streak of immature behavior regarding this particular series.

I’m sorry for giving Megaman games half star ratings over something as petty as not including Dr. Light x Dr. Wily yaoi.

It’s childish, it’s messing with the average review score, and above all else, it’s a really superficial way to look at art. I still do not like most of the games in this series but I promise to offer more substantial critique in the future. As a show of good faith, below is my honest review of Megaman 11:

This game fucking sucks because it doesn’t have Dr. Light x Dr. Wily yuri. Keiji Inafune should take his stupid fucking NFTs and shove them up his ass.

What the medium has always needed
A small town patriot defending his homestead from an invasion of California liberals

Rogue

1980

WHO THE FUCK IS ROGUE AND WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE THEM

This is the best damn case study for video games being art. Seriously. Most of the imperfections that people complain about are what makes it so perfect, especially with the original Gamecube release. It's not an objectively flawless game or anything, but it gives the strongest account of the uniqueness of video games as an interactive media.

The controls and camera are clunky and unfamiliar, Pikmin don't go where you want them to and have a mind of their own. While occasionaly frustrating, these flaws are what provide the sense of immersion - you've crash landed on a foreign planet and have to command an army of sentient beings, of course it's going to be disorienting and awkward. The atmosphere of the game rhymes with it's control scheme in a way that no other game, Pikmin or not, has achieved since.

Mighty Switch Force Academy was kind of a hard game for me to review, because not only did I really, REALLY not enjoy playing it, but it’s also hard to describe what exactly makes it so unfun without sounding like the unholy matrimony between an IGN reviewer and a broken record. But I really want to share my thoughts on this game, because there’s a lot for me to talk about, so much so that I created this whole account just to create this long ass review on why this obscure Mighty Switch Force spinoff is bad. So bear with me here, because I’m going to sound incredibly disjointed talking about Mighty Switch Force Academy.

For those who don’t know what this game is, it’s sort of a spinoff based on the Mighty Switch Force series, where rather than focusing on your player character, the whole level is in view, and you can see everything straight out the gate, from the girls you need to collect, to the enemies and player character. On paper, this doesn’t sound too bad, and actually kind of like a nice change of pace from the typical Mighty Switch Force gameplay. But taking a look at any of the screenshots or footage of the game can kind of tell you what problems it’s got already. So let’s get right into the biggest problem I have with this game; the character sizes.
Good god, these characters are fucking MICROSCOPIC in size. Like, it’s a bad sign when you actually have to SQUINT to even see where your player character is. Now, even though I think the microscopic size of these characters nearly ruins this whole game, I don’t actually think it’s a completely terrible idea for a game. I mean, look at Big Tower Tiny Square on Cool Math Games. What makes Big Tower Tiny Square work so well? Well, everything is a whole hell of a lot easier to look at, for one. The graphics are pretty simple to read so that you can focus more on platforming, and I mean, you literally play as a square. However, Mighty Switch Force Academy keeps most of the sprites from the base Switch Force games the same. If they simplified the sprites to have less pixels and made them more readable, it would’ve been a bit better, but since the sprites they reused are so detailed, it becomes a lot harder to even tell what’s going on most of the time. But Big Tower Tiny Square also works better as a smaller scale game just because the gameplay style is better accommodated for it. The game revolves around smooth platforming and the main challenge comes from seeing how well you can react to everything going on. The controls being fast and flowing well also accommodate for this. However, Mighty Switch Force’s base controls absolutely DO NOT work for this kind of game at all. Mighty Switch Force’s controls are generally kind of limiting, but they work well enough for a puzzle platformer. But when you’re already struggling to make out the what’s on screen AND trying to do somewhat precise platforming, even controlling the game kind of starts to become a fucking nightmare. But even with all the problems that come from having such tiny sprites, I still wanted to give the game a proper chance since I didn’t want to just leave my thoughts at, “Hurr hurr, the sprites are so tiny” Plus, the game has some good ideas under its belt, but this leads quite nicely into another one of my problems with Academy, the level design.

The game’s levels kind of fall under the same paradox that I was faced with when playing the original Mighty Switch Force. The game’s levels are well designed enough, but they aren’t engaging enough to make for a great action platformer, nor are they clever enough to make for a great puzzle platformer. So you’re kind of just left in this awkward middle where the game’s just kind of… boring and a bit frustrating. However, I still think despite that, Mighty Switch Force was still a pretty well designed game overall. But MAN, you really start to feel this hit hard when you’re an extremely tiny sprite. Like I mentioned before, since the controls aren’t fast paced like Big Tower Tiny Square, you have to slowwwwly make your way over to the next section of the level, which you do a lot because these levels are a lot less compact than that of the previous two games. The game does occasionally pull out ideas that I think are really interesting for a Mighty Switch Force game, like screen-warping and flipped gravity, but none of the levels really take advantage of these as much as I would’ve liked. They don’t really enhance the levels, they’re just kind of… there. These issues combined make a lot of these levels INCREDIBLY monotonous to go through, and fast. Plus, some of these levels are just straight up garbage. Iirc, I think it was Stage 10 with the huge blocks? I don’t know, but a special fuck you to that level in particular for having such precise jumps in a game like this. All in all, the main levels aren’t completely terrible, but they’re just incredibly tedious.

“Okay, so the main campaign isn’t great. Maybe this is meant to be more of a multiplayer experience” I said to myself, giving this game more credit than it deserves. Oh. My god. I couldn’t have been more wrong. In fact, the multiplayer just might be the worst part of this shitshow! So, I played the vs. mode with my sister, and from what I could tell, I think it works like this. So, you’re supposed to get the Space Hooligan as fast as you can, then take her to the big robot guy to get a point. You can also control the block-flipping while you have her. Repeat 3 times, one of the players wins. However, you can shoot the girl out of the other player, OR you can lose the girl while screen-warping, which is just fucking stupid. Sometimes, you can just… lose the girl, for absolutely no fucking reason. This mode is confusing as all hell, even for someone who’s finished BOTH Mighty Switch Force games before playing this! And at this point, we didn’t try the co-op, because we were both in agreement that vs. fucking sucked, but I can’t imagine that co-op could’ve been any better, because you’re playing the same frustrating game, but now you have to focus on a 2nd player! Seriously, I think the multiplayer in Mighty Switch Force Academy might actively make this game worse. It’s that damn bad.

I really wanted to give this game a fair chance, and I really did want to finish it. I’ve been trying to finish most of the games in my backlog before even starting up a backloggd account, and throughout the past year, I think I’ve been doing a decent job finishing a lot of my unfinished games. Even games I didn’t like, such as Mega Man 8 or Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi: Kaznapped, I was still able to finish those eventually. But Mighty Switch Force Academy is one of the first games in a long time where I all of a sudden just went, “You know what, fuck this. I’m not having fun, so I’d rather just spend my time playing a better game.” I haven’t experienced that feeling since I played Family Tennis SP, and that game is actual defecation on the face of the Wii U eShop. I know that some of you might be thinking I shouldn’t really have any right to review this game since I didn’t finish it, but I really don’t think I’ll be coming back to this one anytime soon. Personally, I still do recommend getting the Mighty Switch Force Collection as the Mighty Switch Force games are really good, but Academy to me just isn’t one of them. If you do happen upon the collection, skip this game. (3/10)

this game gives me light to my existential crisis

i am mentally not okay and after finishing this game i dont think i will emotionally recover from it for a while. its still surreal to me that this is a remake as this may not be my fav persona game but it still hold a special place in my heart

“not everything needs to be for some greater purpose, just caring about someone can be enough, thats all we need to give our lives meaning.” our time is limited and everyday time scares me but doing simple things like caring for someone and spending time with the ones i love can be enough for me to live my life

thank you persona 3, you are just a game but the memories i made and the journey playing as makoto with his friends will be unforgettable i laughed, i smiled, i cried, and most importantly i enjoyed every minute of experiencing this loyal remake

memento mori but remember to live

I played 350+ hours and somehow never really got around to customizing the exterior of my island. It's still just a mess of trinkets and effectively expended furniture. I think I was in it for the villager conversations, which were such a blast in Wild World, but never really reached those heights here. They drop cute lines every once in a while, but restricted to only that, being cute. I remember the various moods villagers had in Wild World being something that inspired me to think about the interactions more. They really missed that here.

When every element of the sound design is this dopamine-inducing, like it's tailored to be addictive, I start having doubts about how much I'm enjoying the game. I also kept missing the soundtrack from Wild World. The extent of fun I'm having playing a game while fondly remembering another is interesting. How long can one keep that up? Pretty darn long, turns out.

I'm conflicted on this one because on one hand, it is a greatly improved game. But making levels on the switch feels like trying to order off of those big ass screens at McDonalds. Also them getting rid of the amiibo costumes was the worst decision they could've made.