feel like it's hard to really review this as a 'game' but the design decision to have like 15 minutes of text-heavy tutorials immediately after you wake up was a strange one. this is considered enough of a 'game' to have a battle pass and multiple premium currencies, i guess. i'm sure once they figure it out it'll also beam in-game advertisements for even more Pokemon™ products directly into your in-sleep brain.

I remember only 1 thing about this game since I last played it over a decade ago. It's basically wizard animal crossing, that has a Mr. Resetti like mechanic, where if you don't save you are forced to do a task, and one of them is making you clean the bathroom. What more could you ask for?

why is Bowser so fuckable in this game. they never wrote him like this again after this point, he's genuinely a very sweet man in this one and they never reached peak Bowser after this. TTYD Bowser? yeah id fuck him but i wouldn't be super happy about it. SMRPG Bowser? Husband material, PERFECTION.

BUY VIRTUAL CURRENCY BUY COSTUMES BUY ACCESSORIES BUY POINTS TO ACCESS NEW THINGS BUY THIS BUY THAT PLAY THE GACHA GAME also there's fun little assault courses HEY HEY FUCKER HAVE YOU CONSIDERED GIVING US SOME MONEYYYYYYY. yuk!

bethesda games used to be broken and badly written in fun ways. my favourite fact about this game is that they organised the script in alphabetical order when they gave it to the voice actors, so the reason everything sounds so disjointed is that two lines in the same conversation might have been recorded hours apart from each other. thats the type of absolutely insane decision-making which went into making this game, and for that alone i have to support it.

if your game doesnt have a skeleton ape bridge puzzle then i dont fucking want it

Stuck in LR fighting that damn crab

are you kidding me? nothing gets past my bow

do not believe his LIES nor his CONFIDENT ATTITUDE, the bloons CAN and WILL get past his bow

i need every character in this game to shut the fuck up

Genuinely convinced Suda51 is a crackhead

would you make your chibi-robo serve divorce papers to your dumbass husband?

If you call this game "EarthBound Beginnings" instead of Mother Im fucking stealing something out your house!!!

no thanks! i'd rather throw the 'ol pigskin in the backyard with my five identical adult sons

I would really prefer if you'd be quiet.