shatterball
2024
A quirky mix of Mega Man, Metroid, and Super Smash Bros., hampered by floaty and slippery movement that makes many segments much more frustrating than they need to be.
Wherein a Nazi gets turned into a member of the Fighting Polygon Team before exploding.
2010
"Hell. Can't believe we got suckered by some road jockey."
A game so packed full of interesting and deeply compelling ideas that it crashes if you look at it funny. No wonder Bethesda holds it at a weird distance; it's actually about something other than just kinda aimlessly walkin' around.
A game so packed full of interesting and deeply compelling ideas that it crashes if you look at it funny. No wonder Bethesda holds it at a weird distance; it's actually about something other than just kinda aimlessly walkin' around.
They tried so hard to undo all the goodwill I had built up for this game with the jetpack levels right at the end, but they managed to stick the landing somehow.
1996
Naughty Dog now being the very self-serious developer of violent story-driven games is really funny when you go back and remember that their big break was making The Most 1996 Game Ever Created.
2023
Not to sound like a Pretentious Gamer Man, but I really love how deliberately obtuse this is, especially in comparison to how the later Shock games would streamline both level design and game systems. Not to mention the fact that it's just gorgeous to look at while sitting at a total of 8 gigs(!), which just goes to show how lucky we are to have such a high-gloss remake of a game like this. Firmly believe that if Baldur's Gate III hadn't come out and (deservedly) taken over the world last year, you'd have a lot more people coming out of the woodwork to talk about this one.
"I will await you, and if you do not return, then I shall wait until my life ends, then we shall meet again, in the places where the Force does not touch."
Too weird to live, too rare to die.
Too weird to live, too rare to die.
Nothing in this game goes harder than analyzing the oral history of a deeply misunderstood tribe of nomads with a murder robot. Somebody at BioWare must have been an anthropology major or something.
2000
Forget carpal tunnel from clicking all the time, my pinky was killing me from holding down Ctrl to run everywhere.
1996
Chasing down those succubi to hit them with my giant cartoon axe made me feel like I was playing a Tom & Jerry episode.
Sloppier and more sluggish to play than the first Jedi Knight, but with a more coherent story, which I appreciate. Perhaps the shift from boomer-shooter era speed to the more measured, post-Halo pace of play wore down this franchise more than I expected.
(I really don't appreciate how Jan gets shortchanged just to give Kyle motivation, but I also have grown fond of her despite the fact that she doesn't really get much of a character in these games anyway. Maybe I should read an EU comic or novel or something to be satisfied, but by that point, we've already tacitly acknowledged the game has failed in this regard.)
(I really don't appreciate how Jan gets shortchanged just to give Kyle motivation, but I also have grown fond of her despite the fact that she doesn't really get much of a character in these games anyway. Maybe I should read an EU comic or novel or something to be satisfied, but by that point, we've already tacitly acknowledged the game has failed in this regard.)
Cheap, ugly, confusing, uninspired - but hey, Mara Jade's got a pretty cool jacket on the box art.
Takes the relatively tasteful LucasArts design of the first game and throws it headfirst into schlock garbage that also manages to capture that brief window of time between Quake and Half-Life where 3D FPS design was basically the Wild West.
Occasionally dips into where-the-fuck-do-I-go territory, but certainly a charming reminder of days gone by, when Star Wars was just three movies and a bunch of stupid novels. How little we knew of the horrors that would await.
1999
Perhaps the greatest soda-themed runner game ever made. Now that's a genre with tough competition.