shrimblo_male2
85 Reviews liked by shrimblo_male2
Marvel's Spider-Man
2018
Slowly coming back to new games after taking a break for a few months.
What can I say? It's repetitious, trite, and thematically impoverished. But what else could one expect from a AAA game adapted from a billion dollar property designed, in the 21st century, to be a milquetoast 'everything to everyone' consumable? Not everything can be Across The Spider-verse.
What can I say? It's repetitious, trite, and thematically impoverished. But what else could one expect from a AAA game adapted from a billion dollar property designed, in the 21st century, to be a milquetoast 'everything to everyone' consumable? Not everything can be Across The Spider-verse.
Sonic the Hedgehog
2006
Crush my cock with a rock, I must. Maximum pain, I must endure.
Also everyone is wrong. The Sonic sections are by far the worst part of this game. Do not believe them.
There are some good ideas here and I miss when we had so many characters to play in these games.
Also everyone is wrong. The Sonic sections are by far the worst part of this game. Do not believe them.
There are some good ideas here and I miss when we had so many characters to play in these games.
BioShock Infinite
2013
The game that dared to ask if Slaves were as bad as their owners
This is the second greatest game ever made
This is the greatest game ever made
i bought this because i liked mario's jump animation. that animation is in the game therefore it's a good game
anyone who writes a review longer than this is a fucking nerd
anyone who writes a review longer than this is a fucking nerd
It's undeniably fun and another example of fine craftsmanship, but decades of refining the 2D Mario formula have almost boxed Nintendo in, driving them to throw stuff at the wall for the sake of novelty.
NSMB as a whole is what happens when you combine rock solid level design with a complete lack of soul
Once the credits rolled and I saw the sheer mountain of Nintendo employees credited as "level designers" everything made sense. Creative, but without a voice – or indeed, too many (and I don't mean those god-awful flowers!)
Sonic Superstars
2023
Bland, frustrating and sloppy. Poor presentation and level design sours the authentic feeling of Classic 2D Sonic movement mechanics. Bosses waste your time for minutes on end, and while I've yet to try the co-op, it seems to be completely broken. It's criminal that this is being sold for $95 AUD.
Emerald powers feel borderline useless outside of a few exceptions, and the Special Stages are just awful. They're a cool idea on paper - swinging around to build momentum towards the Emerald, but are just a chore to play.
Oh and also, the spindash doesn't work properly if your refresh rate is set to above 60FPS, so I had to turn off Vsync and change it manually in the options, only to suffer from screen-tearing. Very cool! And it's just running from an Epic Games Store version within Steam, I guess? Freaking epic.
Go buy Sonic Mania instead - it looks, sounds and plays better in every way. Even the reused levels are more original than just about anything in Superstars, except for maybe its final act. Glad I didn't buy this.
Emerald powers feel borderline useless outside of a few exceptions, and the Special Stages are just awful. They're a cool idea on paper - swinging around to build momentum towards the Emerald, but are just a chore to play.
Oh and also, the spindash doesn't work properly if your refresh rate is set to above 60FPS, so I had to turn off Vsync and change it manually in the options, only to suffer from screen-tearing. Very cool! And it's just running from an Epic Games Store version within Steam, I guess? Freaking epic.
Go buy Sonic Mania instead - it looks, sounds and plays better in every way. Even the reused levels are more original than just about anything in Superstars, except for maybe its final act. Glad I didn't buy this.
amazing final boss with one hell of a mixed bag attached to it
Resident Evil 4
2023
first, I think we should be making new games instead of remaking so much stuff.
second, if you're gonna remake something, remake something that could actually stand to be refreshed rather than a pristine action classic from a vaunted survival horror series.
third, if you're gonna remake a pristine action classic from a vaunted survival horror series, maybe try taking it in a different direction, emphasize the horror more for example, there's just no way you can compete with the OG.
wait this game is really good? what the fuck.
second, if you're gonna remake something, remake something that could actually stand to be refreshed rather than a pristine action classic from a vaunted survival horror series.
third, if you're gonna remake a pristine action classic from a vaunted survival horror series, maybe try taking it in a different direction, emphasize the horror more for example, there's just no way you can compete with the OG.
wait this game is really good? what the fuck.
Best kart racer of all time.
Half-Life 2
2004
Revolutionized videogames by locking you in a room for 10 minutes so you can be lectured at while bouncing off the walls and then letting you loose to play with Fisher-Price physics toys
Wattam
2019
i think keita takahashi has a very beautiful brain