volnestacks
12 reviews liked by volnestacks
I was not expecting to love this as much as I did. It's not perfect for sure, but what it did right was more than enough to push it to 5 stars for me!
The combat felt THE best I've experienced in a soulslike outside of Fromsoft, even surpassing Dark Souls 2 or Lies of P for me. Aggro Crab just gets it somehow! My only gripe with the combat is just that the game got a little bit too easy towards the end. I think this is because you can unlock so many powerups that you get to a point where you can just mow enemies down without much trouble. I fought the final boss with full upgrades and took almost no damage (I didn't use assist mode a single time except to get the gun achievement post game). I would've loved to see a NG+ mode or boss rush to address this or just better scaling at least.
The platforming and movement were an absolute joy. Rolling around in one of the many incredibly creative shells and using the grappling hook had a great sense of speed. Sure some platforming sections could be janky but it never bothered me to the point of frustration. I wasn't even expecting the platforming going in so the level of quality it's at was a pleasant surprise. It also sounds like the team is hard at work on fixing bugs as well. Speaking of bugs, most of the ones I experienced just had to do with me getting launched after using certain moves. This also didn't happen often enough to frustrate me either.
The story is the other part that was a huge surprise. I was fully expecting the story to just be goofy crab shenanigans and there's for sure a lot of crab/ocean related humor that was mostly just fine and sometimes fell flat, but the main character actually goes through a lot of meaningful growth, the story gets pretty dark and serious, and it even had me on the verge of tears a few times. It wasn't a life changing story by any means, but it felt way more epic and meaningful than I could've anticipated.
The game also has a lot of references to other games which were kind of fun to discover though it felt like there were a little too many references at times. Now and then the attempts at humor even went a bit too far imo. Still, it was a great experience.
HIGHLY recommend this game to anyone who enjoys soulslike games or is looking for a challenge/different experience. I have heard about more bugs on other platforms so it could be worth waiting a while for more bug fixes. I'm feeling pretty strongly that this'll be my GOTY this year.
The combat felt THE best I've experienced in a soulslike outside of Fromsoft, even surpassing Dark Souls 2 or Lies of P for me. Aggro Crab just gets it somehow! My only gripe with the combat is just that the game got a little bit too easy towards the end. I think this is because you can unlock so many powerups that you get to a point where you can just mow enemies down without much trouble. I fought the final boss with full upgrades and took almost no damage (I didn't use assist mode a single time except to get the gun achievement post game). I would've loved to see a NG+ mode or boss rush to address this or just better scaling at least.
The platforming and movement were an absolute joy. Rolling around in one of the many incredibly creative shells and using the grappling hook had a great sense of speed. Sure some platforming sections could be janky but it never bothered me to the point of frustration. I wasn't even expecting the platforming going in so the level of quality it's at was a pleasant surprise. It also sounds like the team is hard at work on fixing bugs as well. Speaking of bugs, most of the ones I experienced just had to do with me getting launched after using certain moves. This also didn't happen often enough to frustrate me either.
The story is the other part that was a huge surprise. I was fully expecting the story to just be goofy crab shenanigans and there's for sure a lot of crab/ocean related humor that was mostly just fine and sometimes fell flat, but the main character actually goes through a lot of meaningful growth, the story gets pretty dark and serious, and it even had me on the verge of tears a few times. It wasn't a life changing story by any means, but it felt way more epic and meaningful than I could've anticipated.
The game also has a lot of references to other games which were kind of fun to discover though it felt like there were a little too many references at times. Now and then the attempts at humor even went a bit too far imo. Still, it was a great experience.
HIGHLY recommend this game to anyone who enjoys soulslike games or is looking for a challenge/different experience. I have heard about more bugs on other platforms so it could be worth waiting a while for more bug fixes. I'm feeling pretty strongly that this'll be my GOTY this year.
Yo dawg I heard you like nine so I put nine persons in nine doors in nine hours so you can escape while you zero.
Content Warning
2024
This very much feels like a game where the idea came first and to be fair it's a fun idea, but the execution just isn't there. The mechanics are way too unclear and the progression is practically non existant as the items you can buy seem to just be for fun and don't seem to have any measurable effect on getting you more views. The film length is abysmally short and only having one camera available makes it absolutely pointless for your group to split up and explore.
Stardew Valley
2016
Lebron James reportedly accidentally tossed the 100% perfection concerned ape hat into the river :(
This review contains spoilers
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth comes hot on the heels of Remake, and is tasked with the burden of delivering on that game's promises of giving everyone everything they wanted. We pick up Rebirth knowing that the characters struggle against fate and predestination, with the tempting premise whispered in our ears that maybe, this time, we can save gaming's favourite white girl and send the plot in a tizzying new direction. Rebirth is not made by stupid people, and the game dangles that promise before you for 35-50 hours. Sizzling reveals and breaking the chains of fate? That shit is just around the corner. Just over the next hill. Just past the next town. Just after this next sidequest. Just press X three times in this cave. Just after this shooter section. Just after this flashback. Just gotta loot these bear asses. Just have to finish playing some weird chocobo obstacle course. Just after these credits. ... wait.
Rebirth is Square-Enix cowardice at its absolute peak. It's too afraid to commit to doing anything, so it does everything. For example, Cloud is more possessed and fucked up than ever before. As Sephiroth proclaims ownership over him and the two walk away into a fade to white, you dare yourself to think: are they going to take him out of the party? Will we face down a totally mindfreaked Cloud and send this off the rails? No, of course not. Gameplay resumes, and it's onto the next location. Don't think about that cutscene too much, it just looked cool. Or the many whispered moments where it looks like Aerith and Tifa are trying to reconstruct their knowledge of the game's plot. That was cool, what could it mean? Is Cloud the only sucker in a party full of loopers? Who knows, it's never touched on. Have another shot of Sephiroth purring for the camera. I could go on. There are a million instances where something cool and different is hinted at, and then thrown into the trash. I hate it. The story is a disappointment. It all ends with nothing changed, Aerith dead, and the party headed to the northern crater. Wow, so different!
Let's leave all the talk of Meta and Timelines there and conclude that you can play one of a hundred Visual Novels on Steam that probably find a cooler way to swing a good Time Fuck. This game doesn't manage it.
Rebirth shines when it is doing character moments, or having a lot of fun with blowing open much smaller segments from the original Final Fantasy VII. The Junon Parade section is an excellent example. Everything is firing on all cylinders here. Everyone is having so much damn fun. A whole battalion of hoo-ah troopers are following you around waiting for you to teach them how to dance and prance real good. Barrett looks damn good in a sailor suit. It's hilarious, stylish, and has wild surprises like Yuffie trying to assassinate Rufus Shinra and nearly succeeding. That's cool. The Gold Saucer is also excellent as a dazzling neon-lit Disneyworld whose entrance gives off big Dubai vibes, with the private helicopter landing pads and million-dollar-row hotel look. It's really inspired. Whenever Rebirth is expanding on this good stuff, or showing us more of the character to our party members, it's some good fucking gaming. I enjoyed that a lot. It's just the ghostly timeline metaplot which feels like a flavorless bowl of oatmeal, once the credits roll.
Outside of the fantastic soundtrack, the rest of the game doesn't elicit particularly strong reactions from me. It's mechanically very fun to fight things and beat people up, if a little mushy when trying to target specific body parts on large and aerial bosses. Some kind of better sub-targeting is needed, and does show up towards the very end, so maybe this was something they noticed internally. Who knows. The open world is largely forgettable and I am sick of doing quests for Chadley, so I'm not looking forward to whatever they implement in the next game. I am not particularly excited for the next game. I'll play it, it's just not something I'm excited for since the promise of The Unknown Journey from Remake turned out to be The Same Journey, Bitch.
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is a video game you can enjoy.
Rebirth is Square-Enix cowardice at its absolute peak. It's too afraid to commit to doing anything, so it does everything. For example, Cloud is more possessed and fucked up than ever before. As Sephiroth proclaims ownership over him and the two walk away into a fade to white, you dare yourself to think: are they going to take him out of the party? Will we face down a totally mindfreaked Cloud and send this off the rails? No, of course not. Gameplay resumes, and it's onto the next location. Don't think about that cutscene too much, it just looked cool. Or the many whispered moments where it looks like Aerith and Tifa are trying to reconstruct their knowledge of the game's plot. That was cool, what could it mean? Is Cloud the only sucker in a party full of loopers? Who knows, it's never touched on. Have another shot of Sephiroth purring for the camera. I could go on. There are a million instances where something cool and different is hinted at, and then thrown into the trash. I hate it. The story is a disappointment. It all ends with nothing changed, Aerith dead, and the party headed to the northern crater. Wow, so different!
Let's leave all the talk of Meta and Timelines there and conclude that you can play one of a hundred Visual Novels on Steam that probably find a cooler way to swing a good Time Fuck. This game doesn't manage it.
Rebirth shines when it is doing character moments, or having a lot of fun with blowing open much smaller segments from the original Final Fantasy VII. The Junon Parade section is an excellent example. Everything is firing on all cylinders here. Everyone is having so much damn fun. A whole battalion of hoo-ah troopers are following you around waiting for you to teach them how to dance and prance real good. Barrett looks damn good in a sailor suit. It's hilarious, stylish, and has wild surprises like Yuffie trying to assassinate Rufus Shinra and nearly succeeding. That's cool. The Gold Saucer is also excellent as a dazzling neon-lit Disneyworld whose entrance gives off big Dubai vibes, with the private helicopter landing pads and million-dollar-row hotel look. It's really inspired. Whenever Rebirth is expanding on this good stuff, or showing us more of the character to our party members, it's some good fucking gaming. I enjoyed that a lot. It's just the ghostly timeline metaplot which feels like a flavorless bowl of oatmeal, once the credits roll.
Outside of the fantastic soundtrack, the rest of the game doesn't elicit particularly strong reactions from me. It's mechanically very fun to fight things and beat people up, if a little mushy when trying to target specific body parts on large and aerial bosses. Some kind of better sub-targeting is needed, and does show up towards the very end, so maybe this was something they noticed internally. Who knows. The open world is largely forgettable and I am sick of doing quests for Chadley, so I'm not looking forward to whatever they implement in the next game. I am not particularly excited for the next game. I'll play it, it's just not something I'm excited for since the promise of The Unknown Journey from Remake turned out to be The Same Journey, Bitch.
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is a video game you can enjoy.
This review contains spoilers
the entire dyne sequence is a perfect microcosm of every single problem with the reboot versions. barrett cant have his character moment because the games more interested in a) making every single character a Righteous Epic Hero Guy (so dyne spends the entire time after the fight shooting about 100 shinra soldiers), and b) so terrified you'll get bored because something hasnt happened in the last 5 minutes that immediately after dyne dies the game makes you do a pointless sweeper fight and an on-rails shooting section. dynes arc is like one of the most important subplots in all of ff7 to barretts character arc and they rush through it as fast as possible, mostly because they already removed all the point of any of his motivations in the first game (bc It Was Shinra's Fault The Explosion Was Like That, god forbid characters have moral ambiguity) so why bother.
i think yoshinori kitase should not be in charge of this franchise
i think yoshinori kitase should not be in charge of this franchise
Fear & Hunger
2018
This is, and I swear I don't mean it pejoratively, a game for teenagers. To truly get the most of it, it asks you to 1) have the kind of patience that a large amount of free time affords you and 2) be young enough that you still find transgressive art relatively novel. These two design philosophies, repetition and transgression, work symbiotically: the cruelty of its mechanics buttresses the profoundly unpleasant aesthetic; your willingness to dive back in after repeated failure is contingent on your interest in whatever fucked up thing Haverinen can throw at you next.
For me, the game's disrespect of my time compromised the pleasures of its dark fantasy in about five hours, after I got fingerfucked to death a second time by the Harvestman. After that point, my eyes glazed over and everything started to look like mechanics to me. Every nail-biting coin flip and combat was reduced to a question of whether or not I was going to lose another twenty minutes of my precious life, and although I had previously respected the internet's insistence on playing blind, I fired up the wiki.
After another five hours of noble struggle, I realized that I was not strong enough to defeat the endgame bosses and hung it up. Maybe in the future I'll start another run, wiser and luckier, and achieve a better result. Unsatisfying? Was I filtered? Perhaps (and yes), but frankly the game is not deep enough to justify digging beyond its superficial "pleasures." It's a whole lot of lore and not much narrative ambition, an excuse to create a self-perpetuating misery engine for the player and the characters alike. The dead horse you can beat in the very first screen of the game is unfortunately more symbolic than it was meant to be.
I still admire the ferocity of its vision, its approach to the roguelike subgenre, and the unusual synthesis of its (admittedly surface-level) influences. I'll probably pick up Termina when it's on sale for $5 or so.
For me, the game's disrespect of my time compromised the pleasures of its dark fantasy in about five hours, after I got fingerfucked to death a second time by the Harvestman. After that point, my eyes glazed over and everything started to look like mechanics to me. Every nail-biting coin flip and combat was reduced to a question of whether or not I was going to lose another twenty minutes of my precious life, and although I had previously respected the internet's insistence on playing blind, I fired up the wiki.
After another five hours of noble struggle, I realized that I was not strong enough to defeat the endgame bosses and hung it up. Maybe in the future I'll start another run, wiser and luckier, and achieve a better result. Unsatisfying? Was I filtered? Perhaps (and yes), but frankly the game is not deep enough to justify digging beyond its superficial "pleasures." It's a whole lot of lore and not much narrative ambition, an excuse to create a self-perpetuating misery engine for the player and the characters alike. The dead horse you can beat in the very first screen of the game is unfortunately more symbolic than it was meant to be.
I still admire the ferocity of its vision, its approach to the roguelike subgenre, and the unusual synthesis of its (admittedly surface-level) influences. I'll probably pick up Termina when it's on sale for $5 or so.
Fear & Hunger
2018
Not my thing, it makes me feel like the "SUPER UBER HARD GAME!!!!" thing doesn't really work in RPGs where your skill is limited by the engine. The appeal of hard games to me is actually standing a chance by getting good, which I didn't feel here.
Fear & Hunger
2018
dark fantasy is just low fantasy and sexual assault to some people
Signalis
2022
Was really hoping to get spooked and blown away by this one after seeing it explode everywhere but uh... who gave all of these zombie robots kitchen knives? I guess the zombie shrieks are unsettling, the bosses have cool designs, the glitches were... uh... glitchy? and I do enjoy the pixelated vibe, but the controls were bad, (not in a way that makes the game intimidating ala RE tank controls) I was never really that scared of anything besides the horrible inventory size, and none of the puzzles ever made me feel smart.