Maelstrom
I wish i was smart enough to play this game
2003
the bad gameplay being narrative is fine until it makes you want to gouge your eyes out
when the tears of light segments are so fucking bad you quit playing the game even after you finish them all because the game could cure your cancer and still not deserve your forgiveness
Kirby and the Forgor Land pulls me in two different directions. It's the freshest kirby has felt since superstar. Every level has its own unique character. The lack of challenge is replaced with a sense of wonder and discovery. The new and adjusted copy abilities are a joy to use in 3D. At the same time, there's a specter of mobage lurking behind everything outside of the level design. Every single collectable tricks me into thinking I'm playing a mobile game. You rescue waddle dees by finding them in the level ...... and by completing weird daily-type checklist items (I have yet not figured out how eating 3 food items in water rescues a waddle dee). Upgrading copy abilities takes a weird two-currency mixture, one of which is very plentiful, the other of which is rare. Oh, and then there's the literal gatchapon collectathon going on in the background of the entire game. It poisons an experience that should be a complete joy to play by reminding me that it is made in present day, present time (tm).
but holy shit that soundtrack is so good i want to forgive every crime this game commits
but holy shit that soundtrack is so good i want to forgive every crime this game commits
2000
I wanted to love this game but I'm not 14 anymore and can't suffer through convoluted weapon leveling and grinding for kino cutscenes
2016
I'm genuinely not sure how you make a game with a hell of a fun gameplay loop feel sterile and AAA when out of combat, but it does and I can't explain why. The first time I got a weapon upgrade point for exploring I felt a sinking feeling. And then I found out that those upgrades were just meaningless fluff that didn't actually change the mechanics of the weapons. And then there was the rune trials giving more of that beautiful meaningless fluff to make numbers go up. By the time I neared the end and the game started losing momentum like a lead brick reaching the bottom of an incline, it started to feel soulless and sterile. Go play Ultrakill or something instead.
It plays exactly like an Igavania. The mechanics work exactly like an Igavania. The music sounds like an Igavania.
But something's off.
It's so faithful to the original that it forgets to do anything of its own. But the worst part is the visual presentation. The animations just feel bad. Characters always seem like they're in a different world than the low-poly castle backgrounds. Effects feel flat and cheap. It just comes off as a highschooler checking the boxes he needs to get a B so he can go harass minorities online (do NOT look up Yamane's political views).
In the end, more of the same with a significantly worse aesthetic ended up being a forgettable metroidvania. Your time is better spent elsewhere.
But something's off.
It's so faithful to the original that it forgets to do anything of its own. But the worst part is the visual presentation. The animations just feel bad. Characters always seem like they're in a different world than the low-poly castle backgrounds. Effects feel flat and cheap. It just comes off as a highschooler checking the boxes he needs to get a B so he can go harass minorities online (do NOT look up Yamane's political views).
In the end, more of the same with a significantly worse aesthetic ended up being a forgettable metroidvania. Your time is better spent elsewhere.
2016
my adhd addled brain quite literally cannot parse how to time attacks to hit anything that attacks this fast with moves that come out this slow
im not even joking how the fuck do you parry anything ever
cool world tho
im not even joking how the fuck do you parry anything ever
cool world tho
2000
The visuals may be janky, but this still plays fantastically and is well worth playing through at least once and then replaying a few times. I guess this is the first untranslated game I've played because I couldn't get the TL patch to work but you don't need it anyway.
I'd love this if I played it while growing up. But I didn't. It's just a solid RPG with some nice combat and a lot of personality, but it doesn't have a lot of real meat to it. NPC dialogue is infuriatingly short and unchanging, there's no reason to use most of the partners, and the narrative felt skin deep most of the time. At least it never outstays its welcome.
Just because the 2nd game justifies every case in this game doesn't make them actually good. Well, case 3 is still fantastic, so that's something at least.
case 3 my beloved
2013
Yoko Taro, you've done it again. You've created a game with an interesting setting and narrative and somehow made it more excruciating to play than NieR. I have fond memories of ragequitting at the desert level reskin that forced you to stay near torches or you'd lose health and looking up TheDarkID's LP. He said that level caused him to put the game down for 3 months. It's been 6 years and I still haven't picked it back up.....
2014
MK8 most visually impressive mario kart game upon release by a large margin, and that's what originally drew me in upon release. The skill ceiling, however, is about has high as a crawlspace which kept me from ever getting invested. It just doesn't have the staying power I wish it did. Maybe it's because I'm getting older.....
2019
Do you believe aesthetic can be narrative? Manifold Garden is so obsessed with its aesthetic that it forgets to use it in any interesting way aside from just looking cool. But holy shit it looks cool. I was hoping for an antichamber-style game and got a walking sim with minor puzzle elements instead, but did I mention the visuals were fantastic? If you want a 5 hour game walking through Piranesi/Escher-style architecture stretching into infinity, this is your game. And fractals. Lots of fractals at the end.