The Magnum Dong Licensed Game List

Licensed games are like assholes; everyone's got them, but what matters is what asshole is better than the other asshole. Did that analogy make any sense, No? Too bad that's the best I can come up with.

(This list will never truly be finished since I can't play every licensed game ever made so I'm gonna be updating this game periodically as I play more or log more that I forgot to log in.)

The stupid amount of memory I have from this game is insane. Just the pure raw creativity that is oozing out is really inspiring.
This is a Certified Hood Classic
By no means is this game bad, hell even with all its faults I still think this is probably the best Lego game we've had in a long time; but with that being said I feel like it might be a little too ambitious for its own good.
The best thing to come out of the prequals.
If I had a nickle for every bad handheld that was a tie in for a former SNL star's mediocre comedy I'd have 2 nickles, which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice.
It's a generic open-world game that has faithful iconography, and a story that feels like it could've been a real Mad Max movie.
The antithesis with everything wrong with modern AAA gaming.
Went in with zero expectations and came out pleasantly surprised.
is realll good.
It alright, it not subtle or nuanced, it tasteless and lukewarm.........naa that's being a bit too mean.
The truth is I did enjoy this game quite a bit, the combat is still pretty solid, the side missions feel less like filler and more like proper missions, everything with Kraven is fantastic, and side stuff with Peter's former villains are all really great and do a better job delivering the game's overall narrative themes better than the main story to an extent. I feel like the further we get into the story the worse it gets and the more rushed it feels. I genuinely believe if you gave the symbiote arc more time to breath, made Venom less of a one note villain, and actually found something for Miles to do in the main story besides getting over his anger towards Mr. Negative you could've had something really special on your hands, and I know that for a fact since Kraven is by far the best part of the game hands down, Insomniac did their homework and then some like holy shit.
All and all a perfectly serviceable sequel that I wished tried a little bit harder
(Wake me up when Arkane's Blade comes out in 4 years)
It's the same great game but shorter and with slightly better combat, just wished its story and characters reached the same unbelievable heights as the first game.
You had so much potential and squandered all of it, I'm so disappointed in you.
You were doing great after MVC3 what the fuck happend.
I see no reason why a short McDonald's tie in game should be as good as it is. I mean it's not perfect or even anything to right home about; besides the music being pretty alright and some genuinely good level design for it's era it's far too easy and I felt like there was a little too much going on visually at times so where I started getting a headache. I think having the novelty of playing a McDonald's video game that isn't a horrible slap dashed togather waste of time is enough for me to say it's at least worth a look but other then that it's really nothing special.
The Mcdonalds of video games, IE it's bland and boring as fuck but the only reason you eat it is because of the recognizable name.
Took all the interesting bits of the first game and just watered it down and made it boring.
I got banned from thus game by using cosmetic mods lol.
An experience I would never put my worst enemy through.
As a Muppets super fan I wished this could have been better, but it still has that Muppet charm I crave.
I still kinda wish this made it into a movie instead of a boring PS1 kids game.
It's just Pinball.........................................................................................................................................................
Somehow has worse racing physics than Calvin Tucker's Redneck: Farm Animals Racing Tournament
If I were being honest I gave up within the first 45 minutes, and I don't give up so easily so that's a huge accomplishment coming from me.
Mario Party but boring and unfun.
I'm sure if I was a kid and also liked Peppa Pig I'd be going crazy for this game, but I'm a 21 year old adult and I don't think this game was made for me.
Out of all the Ghostbusters games on NES the bests one was the one not released in the US, yeah that seems to track in most circumstances.
Hey you want Smash Bros but without the polish and made from the perspective of melee fans only.
It's a super cheap feeling racing game, if I were a kid I'd probably liked it but still I feel like kids nowadays deserve better.
Still better than DMC 2 in almost every way.
This game ironically reflects modern-day Tim Burton very well, it's got style with some really nice visuals for GBA, and nothing else.
actually broken to the point where I couldn't finish the game.
Pepsi owns my soul
When I was still in school I spent a lot of money on this game. One day my grandmother asked me what I was spending all of my money and not saving it, I then thought about it and I had to ask myself "is this really worth it", I then spent around 10 more dollars on this game and it continued like this for another 5 months until I got bored with the game and moved on to something else.
I deeply hate past STRM so much.
A literal con job.
All of my friends hate this game but idk I had fun with it.
Probably one of the best comics book character adaptation in sprite.
𝕽𝖞𝖆𝖓 𝖜𝖍𝖞 𝖍𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖘𝖆𝖐𝖊𝖓 𝖚𝖘
How come a game based on one of my favorite TV shows has to be one of the worst games I've ever played. I mean come on man give me a break.
It's fun for the first 2 or 3 hours but it slowly stopped being funny and the puzzles start becoming really annoying.
As a huge Robocop fan this game was high on my list of things I really wanted to get excited for but just didn't because I've been burned before in the past and hype always leads to disappointment. So it's very fulfilling to finally get to play a Robocop game that's not only really good but also has that classic charm that I always loved from the movies.
The funniest of the original 2 seasons, but feels held back from the true Insanity of the series by it's cheap recycling of contact and its repetition.
Do not trust these people with any help you need they're fucking crazy and will find some way to kill you or make your life worse in the process.
Great first season to TellTales great run with the characters.
It's pretty fun at times but it's a bit slow hack and slash game.
I expected worse from you The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause.
You're basic Wii shovelware slock, I'm still baffled at the mere existence of this as a game.

Saw

It's Saw in it's purest form, too bad I don't like Saw.
I have a problem..............I generally love the shit out of this game.
I somehow have 3 copies of this game and for the life of me I don't know why.
It's just one of those classic play with friends arcade games where it's not about the combos or the points, it's about playing with some friends as you beat the ever-loving shit out of everyone in sight, and really isn't that what friendship is all about.
On paper, this could have been a fun game but in execution it's super janky and bad. Really the most memorable thing about this game is that one time Doug Walker played it and got shit for being bad at a bad game.
I still stand by my statement "Besides the handful of memorable titles on the system almost every NES game is either bad or woefully outdated", and this game has continued to prove me right.
Everyone will simp for Hit and run until the day when it gets a remaster but where will you be when the world is burning and The Simpsons Game will come to bring you to salvation. I know where I'll be. Do You?
I'll always find the first few hours of this game to be a fon nostalgic memory, the last few hours and pure pain.
I was really desperate to find games to play around October.
It's pretty much just Crazy Taxi but with a Simpson's skin, I don't know who asked for this in 2001 but hey they made it.
Bad skateboarding games are like bad friends, everyone has one and they always leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.
I hate Mobile games man, I really fucking hate them
Flanders is the most powerful character in fiction.
People who've said this is "the worst game of 2023" really need to play more games, or at least play more licensed video games, because while this is a fucking awful game; I've seen far worse come out of the AAA seen and they have even less of a reason to end up the way they do.
I swear if I hear the word Smurf one more god damn time I'm gonna lose my fucking mind.
If I saw this man on the street and snuck up to me and gave me a sandwich I'd punch in the throat out of pure instinct.
An actual stain on the show's legacy.
Modern-day South Park depresses the shit out of me man.
It's the closest a game has ever been when it came to putting you into the actual show itself while also just being a great game as well.
I mean I got the game for free so I can't complain too much but it's still pretty eh.
YOUR RUNNING OUT OF FFFLLUUID
Compared to other Spider-Men games this feels the most like a rushed tie-in game. Which I mean it is but other games have been able to hide it better than others.
It's a classic on the PS1, I just feel like most PS1 games have aged pretty poorly.
Pure movie game kino.
it's pretty much just the same as the first only with less interesting levels and fewer of Spidey's rogues gallery.
while over the years the movie has grown on me, this game has only gotten worse and worse with each passing year.
From the same game director who would later on being us Mass Effect Andromeda gives us the most boring of the Activision, but still not the worst.
I mean it was free so it's not like complaining about how bare bones it is but it was still super bare bones.
Besides having the novelty of playing as Spidy's rouges gallery it's a super mindless beat-em-up with very little replay value.
Less of a game and more of a tech demo.
I've always liked the multiverse Spider-Mna stuff, and seeing all the different versions of Spider-Man's rogues gallery is neat, I just wished the gameplay and level design were as good.
Look it has Venom and Moon Knight in it so it's pretty fucking kino
An actual literal asset flip of a video game, like for real go fuck yourself Activision.
Pretty whatever compilation of minigames, pretty mid 4 but taking 1 point off for not having David Bowie.
I know when I was a kid I loved just breaking shit so seeing kids get games like Twisted Metal is really nice to see. Just kinda wish it didn't have that smelling license stink to it.
It's a classic what else can I say about it.
Macrophilia Plankton Fetish.
No I will not explain.
Surprisingly not the worst party/minigame collection I've ever played. It's not gonna be the new Mario party or anything but if you were a kid back in the 2000s (like me) then I'm sure you'd would have loved it.
I don't find this nearly as good as BFBB, but it does end with me fighting the final boss on the back of a big hairy dude and I think that's kinda hot so it's getting an 8.
It's pretty much just Ratchet and Clank but lacking everything that makes video games fun.
That jellyfish fields theme has hunted my childhood, and it's still there taunting me.
A pretty nice return to form for Spongebob 3D platformers, but there's this weird feeling of aimlessness emitting from it.
I've played better shitty minigame collections.
While it's not really good I've played far worse in terms of licensed games on NES, plus there is some really good looking pixel art used in the game which is impressive given the whole "NES licensed games" conundrum.
Pretty much worse in every way compared to the American NES version, but it does have some weird Japanese jank that can make it funny at times.
A third-person/first-person shooter made for people who don't like shooters.
Yeah no thank you this fucking sucks.
I still to this day don't know how this game even works, and after 6 years I'm gonna blame the game on this one rather than my own incompetence.
It's the same stiff Dark Souls combat but with a Star Wars skin on it, and if that's you're cup of tea then have fun. Personally, eeehhh it's pretty ok.
It's just like any other Atari game released near the crash, forgettable.
I find it funny that the only unreleased Atari Star wars game is somehow the best one.
It's the ship parts of Battlefront 2 but made into a whole game, never been a fan of the ship parts so shockingly not a huge fan of this either.
For an Atari version of an arcade game; it's honestly not that bad, given all of the other horrible ports made around that time.

3 Comments


BFBB should be higher and where is Hit and Run

2 years ago

sam and max this high is mega based
Seeing I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream one space before The Simpson's game lmao


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