The Magnum Dong Licensed Game List

Licensed games are like assholes; everyone's got them, but what matters is what asshole is better than the other asshole. Did that analogy make any sense, No? Too bad that's the best I can come up with.

(This list will never truly be finished since I can't play every licensed game ever made so I'm gonna be updating this game periodically as I play more or log more that I forgot to log in.)

Muppet Adventure: Chaos at the Carnival
Muppet Adventure: Chaos at the Carnival
An experience I would never put my worst enemy through.
Muppet Pinball Mayhem
Muppet Pinball Mayhem
It's just Pinball.........................................................................................................................................................
Saw
Saw
It's Saw in it's purest form, too bad I don't like Saw.
Skull Island: Rise of Kong
Skull Island: Rise of Kong
People who've said this is "the worst game of 2023" really need to play more games, or at least play more licensed video games, because while this is a fucking awful game; I've seen far worse come out of the AAA seen and they have even less of a reason to end up the way they do.
Spider-Man 3
Spider-Man 3
while over the years the movie has grown on me, this game has only gotten worse and worse with each passing year.
Spider-Man: Homecoming - Virtual Reality Experience
Spider-Man: Homecoming - Virtual Reality Experience
Less of a game and more of a tech demo.
Spongebob Squarepants: Plankton's Robotic Revenge
Spongebob Squarepants: Plankton's Robotic Revenge
It's pretty much just Ratchet and Clank but lacking everything that makes video games fun.
Star Wars: Jedi Arena
Star Wars: Jedi Arena
I still to this day don't know how this game even works, and after 6 years I'm gonna blame the game on this one rather than my own incompetence.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
This has some of the most horrid level design I think I've ever seen in a video game.
The Addams Family: Mansion Mayhem
The Addams Family: Mansion Mayhem
I donโ€™t know why I even bothered playing this but I saw a screenshot with fat fuck gomez platforming and I just had to play it for shits and giggles; I ended up getting so bored with thet I nearly fell asleep playing it, which is kinda strange because unlike movies Iโ€™m constantly using a controller so idk how the hell that happened.
The Muppets: On with the Show!
The Muppets: On with the Show!
If I were being honest I gave up within the first 45 minutes, and I don't give up so easily so that's a huge accomplishment coming from me.
The Simpsons: Bart vs. The Space Mutants
The Simpsons: Bart vs. The Space Mutants
I still stand by my statement "Besides the handful of memorable titles on the system almost every NES game is either bad or woefully outdated", and this game has continued to prove me right.
The Simpsons: Tapped Out
The Simpsons: Tapped Out
I hate Mobile games man, I really fucking hate them
The Simpsons Wrestling
The Simpsons Wrestling
Flanders is the most powerful character in fiction.
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: Season Two
A confusing mess of 3 different scrips slap dashed togather with almot no effort to make each episode connect togather in some way.
Universal Studios Theme Parks Adventure
Universal Studios Theme Parks Adventure
Somehow the ET mini-game in this is worse than the actual ET game.
Afro Samurai 2: Revenge of Kuma
Afro Samurai 2: Revenge of Kuma
My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.
An American Tail
An American Tail
The epitome of souless, greedy, thoughtless art.
Barbie Horse Adventures: Blue Ribbon Race
Barbie Horse Adventures: Blue Ribbon Race
Something about the music and the way everything looks makes this feel more like a Silent Hill game.
Barbie Horse Adventures: Riding Camp
Barbie Horse Adventures: Riding Camp
It took everything from the last Horse Adventures game and just made it worse. Who in their right minds thought it'd be a good idea to have the game be an open world with a camera this horrible.
No wonder the Barbie Horse Adventures series is dead.
Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue
Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue
This felt like one of those old PS2 games you'd play on an old dusty fat PS2 at a rundown daycare behind a supermarket. Yes that did sound super specific and no I didn't play this game growing up.
Bart Simpson's Escape from Camp Deadly
Bart Simpson's Escape from Camp Deadly
Dear Mom and Dad. I no longer fear hell, because I've finished Bart Simpson's Escape from Camp Deadly
Doctor Who: The Edge of Reality
Doctor Who: The Edge of Reality
I'll say this much it perfectly encapsulates my feelings on the current run of the show. It's boring, forgettable, and it looks like ass.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Yes it's as bad as everyone said it is.
Elf: The Movie
Elf: The Movie
There's a sense of duty towards playing every game ever made, then there's pure masochism..
Fast & Furious: Crossroads
Fast & Furious: Crossroads
I don't give a shit about Fast and The Furious so this didn't really do a lot for me.
Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters
Quite possibly the most boring game I've ever played in my entire life.
Gotham Knights
Gotham Knights
๐–๐ก๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐ž๐ฌ ๐‘๐ž๐๐ก๐จ๐จ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ž ๐š ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฒ?
Halloween
Halloween
One of my favorite and most influential to me as a wannabe filmmaker....................THANKS I HATE IT.
I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin' Good Dating Simulator
I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin' Good Dating Simulator
Get away from me you slave owner, your chicken sucks.
Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite
Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite
You were doing great after MVC3 what the fuck happend.
Popeye
Popeye
A literal con job.
Race With Ryan
Race With Ryan
๐•ฝ๐–ž๐–†๐–“ ๐–œ๐–๐–ž ๐–๐–†๐–›๐–Š ๐–ž๐–”๐–š ๐–‹๐–”๐–—๐–˜๐–†๐–๐–Š๐–“ ๐–š๐–˜
Regular Show: Mordecai and Rigby in 8-Bit Land
Regular Show: Mordecai and Rigby in 8-Bit Land
How come a game based on one of my favorite TV shows has to be one of the worst games I've ever played. I mean come on man give me a break.
Shrek the Third
Shrek the Third
I somehow have 3 copies of this game and for the life of me I don't know why.
Spider-Man
Spider-Man
YOUR RUNNING OUT OF FFFLLUUID
SpongeBob HeroPants
SpongeBob HeroPants
An actual literal asset flip of a video game, like for real go fuck yourself Activision.
The Addams Family
The Addams Family
A genuinely god awful experience. filled with some of the most assholish level design I've ever seen.
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
This game sucks my Spider-Balls.
The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance Tactics
The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance Tactics
I feel personally insulted, I feel like someone told me I was getting a gift but instead I got kicked in the balls. The World of The Dark Crystal is so massive and interesting you could make a Skyrim-level game, but instead you gave me a shitty tactic game that's not even that good.
I despise you with every fiber of my being.
The Simpsons: Bart vs. the World
The Simpsons: Bart vs. the World
The Simpsons: Night of the Living - Treehouse of Horror
The Simpsons: Night of the Living - Treehouse of Horror
I was really desperate to find games to play around October.
The Simpsons Skateboarding
The Simpsons Skateboarding
Bad skateboarding games are like bad friends, everyone has one and they always leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.
The Sopranos: Road to Respect
The Sopranos: Road to Respect
An actual stain on the show's legacy.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
the scream sound effect is honest to god one of the worst things I've ever had the displeasure to hear through my ear holes.
The Three Stooges
The Three Stooges
I'm 100% sure whenever the press asked the development team about the game's "quality" their stock answer would be "Well the Three Stooges themselves made the game".
Knowing that Activision published the game they might be right.

3 Comments


BFBB should be higher and where is Hit and Run

2 years ago

sam and max this high is mega based
Seeing I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream one space before The Simpson's game lmao


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