The Magnum Dong Licensed Game List
Licensed games are like assholes; everyone's got them, but what matters is what asshole is better than the other asshole. Did that analogy make any sense, No? Too bad that's the best I can come up with.
(This list will never truly be finished since I can't play every licensed game ever made so I'm gonna be updating this game periodically as I play more or log more that I forgot to log in.)
(This list will never truly be finished since I can't play every licensed game ever made so I'm gonna be updating this game periodically as I play more or log more that I forgot to log in.)
246 Games
My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.
The epitome of souless, greedy, thoughtless art.
Something about the music and the way everything looks makes this feel more like a Silent Hill game.
It took everything from the last Horse Adventures game and just made it worse. Who in their right minds thought it'd be a good idea to have the game be an open world with a camera this horrible.
No wonder the Barbie Horse Adventures series is dead.
No wonder the Barbie Horse Adventures series is dead.
This felt like one of those old PS2 games you'd play on an old dusty fat PS2 at a rundown daycare behind a supermarket. Yes that did sound super specific and no I didn't play this game growing up.
Dear Mom and Dad. I no longer fear hell, because I've finished Bart Simpson's Escape from Camp Deadly
I'll say this much it perfectly encapsulates my feelings on the current run of the show. It's boring, forgettable, and it looks like ass.
Yes it's as bad as everyone said it is.
There's a sense of duty towards playing every game ever made, then there's pure masochism..
I don't give a shit about Fast and The Furious so this didn't really do a lot for me.
Quite possibly the most boring game I've ever played in my entire life.
๐๐ก๐ฒ ๐๐จ๐๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐ก๐จ๐จ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฒ?
One of my favorite and most influential to me as a wannabe filmmaker....................THANKS I HATE IT.
Get away from me you slave owner, your chicken sucks.
You were doing great after MVC3 what the fuck happend.
A literal con job.
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How come a game based on one of my favorite TV shows has to be one of the worst games I've ever played. I mean come on man give me a break.
I somehow have 3 copies of this game and for the life of me I don't know why.
YOUR RUNNING OUT OF FFFLLUUID
An actual literal asset flip of a video game, like for real go fuck yourself Activision.
A genuinely god awful experience. filled with some of the most assholish level design I've ever seen.
This game sucks my Spider-Balls.
I feel personally insulted, I feel like someone told me I was getting a gift but instead I got kicked in the balls. The World of The Dark Crystal is so massive and interesting you could make a Skyrim-level game, but instead you gave me a shitty tactic game that's not even that good.
I despise you with every fiber of my being.
I despise you with every fiber of my being.
I was really desperate to find games to play around October.
Bad skateboarding games are like bad friends, everyone has one and they always leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.
An actual stain on the show's legacy.
the scream sound effect is honest to god one of the worst things I've ever had the displeasure to hear through my ear holes.
I'm 100% sure whenever the press asked the development team about the game's "quality" their stock answer would be "Well the Three Stooges themselves made the game".
Knowing that Activision published the game they might be right.
Knowing that Activision published the game they might be right.
actually broken to the point where I couldn't finish the game.
It's a pretty mediocre GB platformer. Barbies hitbox is way too big and the game is too floaty.
look son I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed that's all.
I acually honest to god finished this game in less than 30 minutes and I wasn't even trying that much.
RIP Jerry Springer, you were too wild for this world.
I don't give a shit about this show so I don't even know why I played it, but needles to say it was still really bad.
This is a declaration of war to all Pepsi drinkers, the Coke Army thinks weโre weak but we will not take this atrocity lying down. I will take it upon myself to do the most righteous and forthcoming plan Iโve ever conceived. Breaking into people's houses at night and replacing all of their Coke with Pepsi by opening each individual can and bottle; dump it all out and replace it with Pepsi and then factory reseal them with Pepsi; that way they can finally realize the taste of pepsi and coke are so different that the label doesn't matter and theyโll go right into out pepsi loving arms. This normally will take a night (or two) but with the help of volunteers we can push back the influence of the Red Menace and make the world a peace loving Pepsi Utopia.
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As a piece of Doctor Who media and the first ever Doctor Who video game, it has literally nothing to do with the show outside of the show's theme at the beginning and the Tardis showing up in 2 levels. It really does feel like the BBC just threw money at a slapped-together mess just to get people interested in the show again; so I guess it's a great meta-commentary on the state of the show in the early to mid-80s.
I haven't played a DnD session that didn't end in pure chaos, but at least I had fun in those game. There is very little fun here outside of the basic ass AAA live services crap.
About as fun to play as Fallout 4, IE not very fun.
This game is generally terrible but you can play as Fred Durst soooooo it's get's an extra star just for that addition.
My boy Jason deserves better than this.
Ghostbusters?
How about you go bust some bitches.
How about you go bust some bitches.
So now you've taken this 2D fighter/platformer and you've turned it into a top-down military strategy RPG with a slot machine instead of normal attacks, and it's really confusing and convoluted. Like I tracked the manual for this game down, and I still didn't understand how to play this game.
It has a bit of the feel the comics had, but literally everything else is pure bottom of the barrel tier smegma.
I don't think I've ever understood the point of hooters so I was kinda hoping this game would enlighten me on only men in their late 30s and early 40s seem to flock there in droves while objectifying the waitresses in the process.
I learned nothing and I'm still perplexed.
I learned nothing and I'm still perplexed.
I don't even understand how this could have even turn out so awful. Like this is the Endgame of Anime games this should have been the best of the best how did this be so shitty.
If I had a nickle for every bad handheld that was a tie in for a former SNL star's mediocre comedy I'd have 2 nickles, which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice.
The antithesis with everything wrong with modern AAA gaming.
You had so much potential and squandered all of it, I'm so disappointed in you.
An experience I would never put my worst enemy through.
It's just Pinball.........................................................................................................................................................
It's Saw in it's purest form, too bad I don't like Saw.
People who've said this is "the worst game of 2023" really need to play more games, or at least play more licensed video games, because while this is a fucking awful game; I've seen far worse come out of the AAA seen and they have even less of a reason to end up the way they do.
while over the years the movie has grown on me, this game has only gotten worse and worse with each passing year.
Less of a game and more of a tech demo.
It's pretty much just Ratchet and Clank but lacking everything that makes video games fun.
I still to this day don't know how this game even works, and after 6 years I'm gonna blame the game on this one rather than my own incompetence.
This has some of the most horrid level design I think I've ever seen in a video game.
I donโt know why I even bothered playing this but I saw a screenshot with fat fuck gomez platforming and I just had to play it for shits and giggles; I ended up getting so bored with thet I nearly fell asleep playing it, which is kinda strange because unlike movies Iโm constantly using a controller so idk how the hell that happened.
If I were being honest I gave up within the first 45 minutes, and I don't give up so easily so that's a huge accomplishment coming from me.
I still stand by my statement "Besides the handful of memorable titles on the system almost every NES game is either bad or woefully outdated", and this game has continued to prove me right.
I hate Mobile games man, I really fucking hate them
Flanders is the most powerful character in fiction.
A confusing mess of 3 different scrips slap dashed togather with almot no effort to make each episode connect togather in some way.
Somehow the ET mini-game in this is worse than the actual ET game.
Itโs pretty amazing that even after making a game that did a really job adapting the source material along with having most of the voice cast come back to reprise their roles, you somehow made a game that feels like it has nothing to do with Adventure Time outside of having the characters and some references.
I wanna find the weirdo at Rockstar who thought it would be a good idea to make a whole GBC game that's just a simulated Austin Powers desktop. Mostly so I can give them like a billion dollars and let their imagination run wild.
It's literally the same game as the Austin Power one but instead of it being Austin Power themed it's Dr. Evil themed, which makes it 10 times better by default.
The game that popularized the character and simultaneously ruined him at the same time. On top of that it's also repetitive as shit and super unfunny. Thanks I hate it.
A pretty basic text-based adventure game with little bits of Doctor Who charm sprinkled in.
Honestly the game is so basic I can't even come up with a witty joke for it.
Honestly the game is so basic I can't even come up with a witty joke for it.
Festerโs Quest is considered to be up there as one of the worse games the NES has to offer, with itโs god awful controls to itโs amazing โWhere the fuck do I goโ level design, and itโs ever ending amount of enemies that will drain your heath in less then 2 hits. Now donโt get me wrong this is 100% a BAD GAME, but compared to other NES games Iโve played in the past this is far from the worst thing ever; and this game doesn't even come close to the likes of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or TMNT.
As someone who champions Futurama as โbetter than The Simpsonsโ this is the most disappointing Iโve felt in a good while. Now did I expect this game to be great, no; this was a game released less then a month after the showโs first cancellation and as a game itself it feels like a rushed job with the writers not really understanding what writing a video game is like. The cutscenes are really funny and are the highlight of the game but after their done you get to play one of the strangest 3D platformers Iโve ever played, this game is really hard for me to talk about all I can really say is itโs one of those play it for yourself type shitty games; where the controls are both slippery and stiff, and the jumping is both heavy and floaty while also being generally unresponsive.
If you for some reason actually wanna play this game just watch the cutscenes online, itโll be a more fun experience then playing through this. (at least the Zoidberg Crash Hog riding rip-off level was decent)
If you for some reason actually wanna play this game just watch the cutscenes online, itโll be a more fun experience then playing through this. (at least the Zoidberg Crash Hog riding rip-off level was decent)
idk about you but I think license games on NES just suck.
I remember playing this on my old iPod Touch when I was in middle during my huge Gorillaz phase. The copium I was taking just justified me even playing it was so strong; in retrospect I feel really sorry for 14 year old STRM.
Itโs literally every single AAA open world โRPGโ but this time it has an expensive license video games sheen.
From the same studio that made GTA 5, Bully, and RDR2. No I'm not joking look it up.
I think the idea is super cool, the only downside is that it's on the Xbox Kinect. You know, the thing that barely even worked most of the time.
Took all the interesting bits of the first game and just watered it down and made it boring.
I'm sure if I was a kid and also liked Peppa Pig I'd be going crazy for this game, but I'm a 21 year old adult and I don't think this game was made for me.
It's a super cheap feeling racing game, if I were a kid I'd probably liked it but still I feel like kids nowadays deserve better.
If I saw this man on the street and snuck up to me and gave me a sandwich I'd punch in the throat out of pure instinct.
From the same game director who would later on being us Mass Effect Andromeda gives us the most boring of the Activision, but still not the worst.
Pretty whatever compilation of minigames, pretty mid 4 but taking 1 point off for not having David Bowie.
That jellyfish fields theme has hunted my childhood, and it's still there taunting me.
I've played better shitty minigame collections.
Pretty much worse in every way compared to the American NES version, but it does have some weird Japanese jank that can make it funny at times.
Yeah no thank you this fucking sucks.
Platinum what the fuck I thought you were better than this.
It's a fighting game on NES I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't shit.
Slightly better than the movie but not by much.
It's not as bad as people have said but it's still pretty bad.
They took the literal concept of the game and slapped it onto a SNES cartridge.
All you do is fight Scratchy with really bad hit detection while dealing with bad platforming until you hit him enough to where you fight him in a boss fight.
Honestly I would've liked it if they had gotten more creative with the concept but this was a cash-in so it's not like it mattered all that much to the devs.
All you do is fight Scratchy with really bad hit detection while dealing with bad platforming until you hit him enough to where you fight him in a boss fight.
Honestly I would've liked it if they had gotten more creative with the concept but this was a cash-in so it's not like it mattered all that much to the devs.
I expected worse from you The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause.
On paper, this could have been a fun game but in execution it's super janky and bad. Really the most memorable thing about this game is that one time Doug Walker played it and got shit for being bad at a bad game.
Not only did it really derail the story and characters they were working with, but it also shows off the depressing decline of quality Telltale was going through at the time.
I mean it's still not the worst bastardization I've seen for this series, Doomsday Clock still exist.
As the ending to the Arkham series it's kinda shit. As a new game in the Arkham series, it's pretty ok.
No Clayface 7/10
No Clayface 7/10
One of the most boring VR games I've played. It has a fun novelty but it wears off very quickly.
A super empty open-world game that is somehow more empty than a Ubisoft game.
3 Comments
sam and max this high is mega based
Seeing I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream one space before The Simpson's game lmao
NOWITSREYNTIME17
2 years ago