The Magnum Dong Licensed Game List
Licensed games are like assholes; everyone's got them, but what matters is what asshole is better than the other asshole. Did that analogy make any sense, No? Too bad that's the best I can come up with.
(This list will never truly be finished since I can't play every licensed game ever made so I'm gonna be updating this game periodically as I play more or log more that I forgot to log in.)
(This list will never truly be finished since I can't play every licensed game ever made so I'm gonna be updating this game periodically as I play more or log more that I forgot to log in.)
246 Games
Marines Campaign: It's reminiscent of almost every other dark grimy FPS of its era, at most it's just boring.
Xenomorph Campaign: Underwhelming Arkham stealth system mixed together with a character who moves too fast, and can climb on almost all surfaces, making it more of a challenge of not throwing up rather than a challenge on the game's part. It's the worst campaign of the 3.
Predator Campaign: The most fun I've had during the whole game. If they made the hand-to-hand combat better and the AI more responsive it would've been perfect.
Xenomorph Campaign: Underwhelming Arkham stealth system mixed together with a character who moves too fast, and can climb on almost all surfaces, making it more of a challenge of not throwing up rather than a challenge on the game's part. It's the worst campaign of the 3.
Predator Campaign: The most fun I've had during the whole game. If they made the hand-to-hand combat better and the AI more responsive it would've been perfect.
Trying to play this in 8K is one of my most cherished moments with friends, other than that it's just a whatever kids game.
The most tedious and by the numbers Arkham game to date, at least the setting is pretty great.
No Clayface 4/10
No Clayface 4/10
I admire the attempt to make a smash bros but for CN, but it just feels way too floaty for a platformer fighter like this to work.
How many of you motherfucker even knew this was a licensed game, maybe if you did you wouldn't have your expectations so unrealistically high.
The Pirates world was pretty cool but other than that this feels pretty bare bones compared to what Skylanders was doing.
Kinda wish I could like this as much as everyone else but I just don't like the Sega Genesis that much.
About as stander as licensed games come.
All it really does is ape on the "God of War-like" gameplay that was popular at the time and slaps the Green Lantern name on it. I guess it was playable but other than that it was just really unmemorable and dull.
All it really does is ape on the "God of War-like" gameplay that was popular at the time and slaps the Green Lantern name on it. I guess it was playable but other than that it was just really unmemorable and dull.
It's about as middle of the road as modern-day licensed games come.
It alright, it not subtle or nuanced, it tasteless and lukewarm.........naa that's being a bit too mean.
The truth is I did enjoy this game quite a bit, the combat is still pretty solid, the side missions feel less like filler and more like proper missions, everything with Kraven is fantastic, and side stuff with Peter's former villains are all really great and do a better job delivering the game's overall narrative themes better than the main story to an extent. I feel like the further we get into the story the worse it gets and the more rushed it feels. I genuinely believe if you gave the symbiote arc more time to breath, made Venom less of a one note villain, and actually found something for Miles to do in the main story besides getting over his anger towards Mr. Negative you could've had something really special on your hands, and I know that for a fact since Kraven is by far the best part of the game hands down, Insomniac did their homework and then some like holy shit.
All and all a perfectly serviceable sequel that I wished tried a little bit harder
(Wake me up when Arkane's Blade comes out in 4 years)
The truth is I did enjoy this game quite a bit, the combat is still pretty solid, the side missions feel less like filler and more like proper missions, everything with Kraven is fantastic, and side stuff with Peter's former villains are all really great and do a better job delivering the game's overall narrative themes better than the main story to an extent. I feel like the further we get into the story the worse it gets and the more rushed it feels. I genuinely believe if you gave the symbiote arc more time to breath, made Venom less of a one note villain, and actually found something for Miles to do in the main story besides getting over his anger towards Mr. Negative you could've had something really special on your hands, and I know that for a fact since Kraven is by far the best part of the game hands down, Insomniac did their homework and then some like holy shit.
All and all a perfectly serviceable sequel that I wished tried a little bit harder
(Wake me up when Arkane's Blade comes out in 4 years)
The Mcdonalds of video games, IE it's bland and boring as fuck but the only reason you eat it is because of the recognizable name.
Somehow has worse racing physics than Calvin Tucker's Redneck: Farm Animals Racing Tournament
I mean I got the game for free so I can't complain too much but it's still pretty eh.
Compared to other Spider-Men games this feels the most like a rushed tie-in game. Which I mean it is but other games have been able to hide it better than others.
it's pretty much just the same as the first only with less interesting levels and fewer of Spidey's rogues gallery.
While it's not really good I've played far worse in terms of licensed games on NES, plus there is some really good looking pixel art used in the game which is impressive given the whole "NES licensed games" conundrum.
It's the ship parts of Battlefront 2 but made into a whole game, never been a fan of the ship parts so shockingly not a huge fan of this either.
It's about on par with episode 4 on NES, IE not great but has some really nice looking visuals for NES and especially for an NES licensed games.
Inferior in pretty much every way, while it's still fun; I wouldn't say it's awful, but unlike the first game it gets old really fast and it's only 5 hours long so idk what the hell happened
This game ironically reflects modern-day Tim Burton very well, it's got style with some really nice visuals for GBA, and nothing else.
Don't really care all that much about this one, I was just really bored by it.
I find War for Cybertron really frustrating. On the one hand I think its visuals look really nice and stay pretty faithful to the G1 look while also still giving it their own unique spin on the characters on the other hand the typical 7th gen gray filter makes it hard to shoot enemies when they also blend into the background making the game more frustrating than challenging.
On one hand I think the run and gun play is fun and really refreshing when it came to other 7th gen cover based shooters that were never good like Uncharted 1 or GoW, on the other hand it still plays like a stiff 7th gen shooter and unlike other games it resembles like Vanquish itβs slow and sluggish with enemies that are just bullet spongy enough to feel annoying. Along with that the arena level layouts all just suck. They feel very much gated into one way of progression and with how easily you can die if youβre not always on your feet the gameplay gets boring really REALLY fast.
On one hand I think the story is really neat, being able to see the origins of character relationships and events unfolding that Iβm assuming the G1 show had in itβs lore (Iβve never seen any piece of Transformers media I just think the robots look cool), on the other hand the gameβs pacing is really shit and having the Decepticon campaign start off the game really didnβt help since the beginning of the game is really weak; it only started it get better with the Autobot campaign but by that point the game is almost over and idk if itβs just a me thing but I just wasn't grip by the story personally.
If you canβt tell, I'm not a Transformers fan and I donβt really have any attachment to these
On one hand I think the run and gun play is fun and really refreshing when it came to other 7th gen cover based shooters that were never good like Uncharted 1 or GoW, on the other hand it still plays like a stiff 7th gen shooter and unlike other games it resembles like Vanquish itβs slow and sluggish with enemies that are just bullet spongy enough to feel annoying. Along with that the arena level layouts all just suck. They feel very much gated into one way of progression and with how easily you can die if youβre not always on your feet the gameplay gets boring really REALLY fast.
On one hand I think the story is really neat, being able to see the origins of character relationships and events unfolding that Iβm assuming the G1 show had in itβs lore (Iβve never seen any piece of Transformers media I just think the robots look cool), on the other hand the gameβs pacing is really shit and having the Decepticon campaign start off the game really didnβt help since the beginning of the game is really weak; it only started it get better with the Autobot campaign but by that point the game is almost over and idk if itβs just a me thing but I just wasn't grip by the story personally.
If you canβt tell, I'm not a Transformers fan and I donβt really have any attachment to these
As the ending to the Arkham series it's kinda shit. As a new game in the Arkham series, it's pretty ok.
No Clayface 7/10
No Clayface 7/10
One of the most boring VR games I've played. It has a fun novelty but it wears off very quickly.
A super empty open-world game that is somehow more empty than a Ubisoft game.
Pretty whatever short kid game, it looked pretty nice for a cheap digital game but that's about all I can really say about it.
A downgrade in almost every way. Its world and story feels less ambitious, its gameplay is more simplistic, the writing is dull, the AI for Oswald is awful almost making it mandatory to play with someone, and worst of all; it's just boring.
The Chicken fight was pretty good but everything else was just kinda bland.
I got the Grimace's Birthday meal, My mcnuggets were hard; as if they were left out for 30 minutes before I got them, my fries were shockley soggy, and the purple shake did something to my stomach that only 20+ dollars of Taco Bell could possibly achieve.
So all and all...........a surprisingly good trip to McDonald's.
So all and all...........a surprisingly good trip to McDonald's.
As someone who is a huge Hellboy fan (Mike Mignola being a horrible person aside) you couldnβt find someone more excited for this game than me. From the amazing looking shaders Upstream were using to replicate Mignolaβs heavy shadows art style to the combat looking fun from the small bits I saw from gameplay videos it look to be the first Hellboy video game that was not only a faithful adaptation from the comics; but also a good game on top of that. Unfortunately thatβs not what we got, what we got is a super mediocre roguelike that is so piss easy and repetitive it fails at the most basic approach of being a roguelike.
Cooking Mama if you have a degradation fetish.
Anime was a mistake.
Look it has Sonic in it so I'm not gonna complain.
Mario Party but boring and unfun.
When I was still in school I spent a lot of money on this game. One day my grandmother asked me what I was spending all of my money and not saving it, I then thought about it and I had to ask myself "is this really worth it", I then spent around 10 more dollars on this game and it continued like this for another 5 months until I got bored with the game and moved on to something else.
I deeply hate past STRM so much.
I deeply hate past STRM so much.
You're basic Wii shovelware slock, I'm still baffled at the mere existence of this as a game.
Modern-day South Park depresses the shit out of me man.
I mean it was free so it's not like complaining about how bare bones it is but it was still super bare bones.
Besides having the novelty of playing as Spidy's rouges gallery it's a super mindless beat-em-up with very little replay value.
A third-person/first-person shooter made for people who don't like shooters.
It's pretty much what you'd expect from an NES version of an arcade game.
Slow and boring, just the way I hate em.
Took all the charm away for the original and now we're left with a really mediocre beat him up.
I spent the very little time I have left on this earth playing this game.
Idk why I did this but oh well
Idk why I did this but oh well
Itβs shovelware in its least interesting form.
This game captured the movie in the best way possible, destroying stuff looks funβ¦β¦β¦β¦β¦thatβs it.
UP yours John Lasseter.
Where's my money Dominos?
Itβs pretty amazing that even after making a game that did a really job adapting the source material along with having most of the voice cast come back to reprise their roles, you somehow made a game that feels like it has nothing to do with Adventure Time outside of having the characters and some references.
I wanna find the weirdo at Rockstar who thought it would be a good idea to make a whole GBC game that's just a simulated Austin Powers desktop. Mostly so I can give them like a billion dollars and let their imagination run wild.
It's literally the same game as the Austin Power one but instead of it being Austin Power themed it's Dr. Evil themed, which makes it 10 times better by default.
The game that popularized the character and simultaneously ruined him at the same time. On top of that it's also repetitive as shit and super unfunny. Thanks I hate it.
A pretty basic text-based adventure game with little bits of Doctor Who charm sprinkled in.
Honestly the game is so basic I can't even come up with a witty joke for it.
Honestly the game is so basic I can't even come up with a witty joke for it.
Festerβs Quest is considered to be up there as one of the worse games the NES has to offer, with itβs god awful controls to itβs amazing βWhere the fuck do I goβ level design, and itβs ever ending amount of enemies that will drain your heath in less then 2 hits. Now donβt get me wrong this is 100% a BAD GAME, but compared to other NES games Iβve played in the past this is far from the worst thing ever; and this game doesn't even come close to the likes of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or TMNT.
As someone who champions Futurama as βbetter than The Simpsonsβ this is the most disappointing Iβve felt in a good while. Now did I expect this game to be great, no; this was a game released less then a month after the showβs first cancellation and as a game itself it feels like a rushed job with the writers not really understanding what writing a video game is like. The cutscenes are really funny and are the highlight of the game but after their done you get to play one of the strangest 3D platformers Iβve ever played, this game is really hard for me to talk about all I can really say is itβs one of those play it for yourself type shitty games; where the controls are both slippery and stiff, and the jumping is both heavy and floaty while also being generally unresponsive.
If you for some reason actually wanna play this game just watch the cutscenes online, itβll be a more fun experience then playing through this. (at least the Zoidberg Crash Hog riding rip-off level was decent)
If you for some reason actually wanna play this game just watch the cutscenes online, itβll be a more fun experience then playing through this. (at least the Zoidberg Crash Hog riding rip-off level was decent)
idk about you but I think license games on NES just suck.
I remember playing this on my old iPod Touch when I was in middle during my huge Gorillaz phase. The copium I was taking just justified me even playing it was so strong; in retrospect I feel really sorry for 14 year old STRM.
Itβs literally every single AAA open world βRPGβ but this time it has an expensive license video games sheen.
From the same studio that made GTA 5, Bully, and RDR2. No I'm not joking look it up.
I think the idea is super cool, the only downside is that it's on the Xbox Kinect. You know, the thing that barely even worked most of the time.
Took all the interesting bits of the first game and just watered it down and made it boring.
I'm sure if I was a kid and also liked Peppa Pig I'd be going crazy for this game, but I'm a 21 year old adult and I don't think this game was made for me.
It's a super cheap feeling racing game, if I were a kid I'd probably liked it but still I feel like kids nowadays deserve better.
If I saw this man on the street and snuck up to me and gave me a sandwich I'd punch in the throat out of pure instinct.
From the same game director who would later on being us Mass Effect Andromeda gives us the most boring of the Activision, but still not the worst.
Pretty whatever compilation of minigames, pretty mid 4 but taking 1 point off for not having David Bowie.
That jellyfish fields theme has hunted my childhood, and it's still there taunting me.
I've played better shitty minigame collections.
Pretty much worse in every way compared to the American NES version, but it does have some weird Japanese jank that can make it funny at times.
Yeah no thank you this fucking sucks.
Platinum what the fuck I thought you were better than this.
It's a fighting game on NES I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't shit.
Slightly better than the movie but not by much.
It's not as bad as people have said but it's still pretty bad.
They took the literal concept of the game and slapped it onto a SNES cartridge.
All you do is fight Scratchy with really bad hit detection while dealing with bad platforming until you hit him enough to where you fight him in a boss fight.
Honestly I would've liked it if they had gotten more creative with the concept but this was a cash-in so it's not like it mattered all that much to the devs.
All you do is fight Scratchy with really bad hit detection while dealing with bad platforming until you hit him enough to where you fight him in a boss fight.
Honestly I would've liked it if they had gotten more creative with the concept but this was a cash-in so it's not like it mattered all that much to the devs.
I expected worse from you The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause.
On paper, this could have been a fun game but in execution it's super janky and bad. Really the most memorable thing about this game is that one time Doug Walker played it and got shit for being bad at a bad game.
Not only did it really derail the story and characters they were working with, but it also shows off the depressing decline of quality Telltale was going through at the time.
I mean it's still not the worst bastardization I've seen for this series, Doomsday Clock still exist.
actually broken to the point where I couldn't finish the game.
It's a pretty mediocre GB platformer. Barbies hitbox is way too big and the game is too floaty.
look son I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed that's all.
I acually honest to god finished this game in less than 30 minutes and I wasn't even trying that much.
RIP Jerry Springer, you were too wild for this world.
I don't give a shit about this show so I don't even know why I played it, but needles to say it was still really bad.
This is a declaration of war to all Pepsi drinkers, the Coke Army thinks weβre weak but we will not take this atrocity lying down. I will take it upon myself to do the most righteous and forthcoming plan Iβve ever conceived. Breaking into people's houses at night and replacing all of their Coke with Pepsi by opening each individual can and bottle; dump it all out and replace it with Pepsi and then factory reseal them with Pepsi; that way they can finally realize the taste of pepsi and coke are so different that the label doesn't matter and theyβll go right into out pepsi loving arms. This normally will take a night (or two) but with the help of volunteers we can push back the influence of the Red Menace and make the world a peace loving Pepsi Utopia.
ππππ πππππ
ππππ πππππ
ππππ πππππ πππ πππ πππππ ππππππππππππ ππ πππ πππππ ππππ πππππ
ππππ πππππ
ππππ πππππ
ππππ πππππ πππ πππ πππππ ππππππππππππ ππ πππ πππππ ππππ πππππ
As a piece of Doctor Who media and the first ever Doctor Who video game, it has literally nothing to do with the show outside of the show's theme at the beginning and the Tardis showing up in 2 levels. It really does feel like the BBC just threw money at a slapped-together mess just to get people interested in the show again; so I guess it's a great meta-commentary on the state of the show in the early to mid-80s.
I haven't played a DnD session that didn't end in pure chaos, but at least I had fun in those game. There is very little fun here outside of the basic ass AAA live services crap.
About as fun to play as Fallout 4, IE not very fun.
This game is generally terrible but you can play as Fred Durst soooooo it's get's an extra star just for that addition.
My boy Jason deserves better than this.
Ghostbusters?
How about you go bust some bitches.
How about you go bust some bitches.
So now you've taken this 2D fighter/platformer and you've turned it into a top-down military strategy RPG with a slot machine instead of normal attacks, and it's really confusing and convoluted. Like I tracked the manual for this game down, and I still didn't understand how to play this game.
It has a bit of the feel the comics had, but literally everything else is pure bottom of the barrel tier smegma.
I don't think I've ever understood the point of hooters so I was kinda hoping this game would enlighten me on only men in their late 30s and early 40s seem to flock there in droves while objectifying the waitresses in the process.
I learned nothing and I'm still perplexed.
I learned nothing and I'm still perplexed.
I don't even understand how this could have even turn out so awful. Like this is the Endgame of Anime games this should have been the best of the best how did this be so shitty.
If I had a nickle for every bad handheld that was a tie in for a former SNL star's mediocre comedy I'd have 2 nickles, which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice.
The antithesis with everything wrong with modern AAA gaming.
You had so much potential and squandered all of it, I'm so disappointed in you.
3 Comments
sam and max this high is mega based
Seeing I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream one space before The Simpson's game lmao
NOWITSREYNTIME17
2 years ago