12 reviews liked by ScaryMonsterss_


the venn diagram of people who play vanilla ice in this game and people who have been on epstein's island is a perfect circle

yeah the PC ports suck but they got Mori Calliope to do a song for this that's way worse

first mainline pokemon game I played so I'm very biased but I don't care

My dealer: got some straight gas this strain is called “literature” you’ll be zonked out of your gourd
Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.
5 minutes later: dude I swear I saw some demons in the forest
My buddy Walter pacing: the eastern kingdom of mikado is lying to us

I was playing this at an assembly back in middle school when a cutscene started playing and the kid behind me looked over my shoulder and excitedly asked me how I was watching Dragon Ball on my DS

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⣿⣧⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿Nah, I'd Refund ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣠⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿
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⡟⢙⣻⡿⠫⢐⣒⣛⠻⣉⣽⣿⣾⠈⠓⠕⢜⢦⡈⠻⢧⡀⢹⣿⣷⡄⣹⣿⡿⣹⣭⣦⡲⠒⣴⠛⠸⠦⣠⣉⠣⣴⣈⠘⠳⠝⣦⢙⣿⣿
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This review contains spoilers

Spoiler review so I can dig into why exactly the plot is antisemitic and why you can't "just ignore" it.

The TLDR is that the game's about stopping a goblin rebellion, which we already knew from the trailers. The trailers also included a scene where the main villain goblin and dark wizard talk about kidnapping the player, calling on the antisemitic trope of blood libel.
Well we now have the full context, and it gets so much worse:

The dark wizard Rookwood (no subtleties here as that's the name of one of the Death Eaters in the original series, guess the whole families evil) cursed Anne, the companion characters sister, and framed the goblins for it. This out of context truth is most likely what people will use to say "see the games not antisemitic, the goblins were framed" but this is just backstory for one character and the rest of the game still exist.
While not completely new to the series (offhandedly mentioned like 2 times in the books) this game is the first time anyone learns what exactly "ancient magic" is. Ancient magic is apparently a substance that can be extracted from the body, and apparently extracting it is believed to be a form of "pain relief". Not dissimilar from medieval "therapies" of bloodletting and leeching. The antisemitic blood libel doesn't end with the goblins: In the game's backstory a former Hogwarts professor Isidora Morganach discovered how to tap into "ancient magic" by extracting it from her students. Isidora became addicted to "ancient magic" and made many magic repositories which you can find throughout the game. In the present the player character is someone who has "ancient magic", this is why the goblins and dark wizards want to kidnap you.
The goblins who teamed up with Rookwood are rebelling because the wizards don't give them equal rights, like wand use. As I said in my previous review this along with wizards trying to enslave goblins as "house elves" is already a part of the series' lore for their many rebellions. The game also adds little details like goblin artifacts that are eerily similar to Jewish cultural items, and past rebellions lining up perfectly with real world antisemitic genocides. And of course the final boss of the game is the "evil leader" of the goblin Ronrok who uses all the "ancient magic" to transform into a dragon, as if evil bankers wasn't enough. A better writer would maybe have Rookwood be the final boss after revealing he was just using Ronrok and the goblins plight to his own ends, to marginally make the story better (but not by much). But that wouldn't be in the spirit of the franchise now would it? And like I said in my other review, it's a prequel, they can't actually make any meaningful change to the status of the non-human sapient magical beings without breaking continuity with the original series.
Sure if only one of these were true (and the context of the books and creator didn't exist) it would most likely be an unfortunate (gross) coincidence. But that's not the case.

With Harry Potter you can argue the antisemitism is not a huge part of the books (but still a major issue) but with this game the antisemitism is at the core of its identity. The devs didn't have to quadruple down and add all this, but not surprising that the lead dev was a gamer gater before being booted.
You can't remove this game from its antisemitism and you can't remove this franchise from its creators' bigotry and political views.

Go read "Trans Wizard Harriet Porber And The Bad Boy Parasaurolophus" by Chuck Tingle

awful quest structure and padding galore combined with disappointing story and gameplay makes this one very mid

This review contains spoilers

Why Alucard couldn’t just flip his map upside down I don’t understand