I feel like I was robbed of this game as a child. Little [insert my name here] would have been rotating this game with like Ocarina of Time and Diddy Kong Racing on a Saturday morning if it was released in the U.S.

I blew through this game because this is a dumb game for dumb babies with little baby brains. Once you get the Vertical Gun it's essentially over for all the anime archetype hoes you have to fight.

What the N64 was capable of doing blows my mind. I think it's because most other N64 games were not focused on this kind of action. It's a shame the developers only did Custom Robo and never had a chance to develop on the idea further past the DS. Now having played and beat this, Custom Robo really never developed gameplay-wise beyond this point. They just put slightly different conceptual versions of this game out on the Gamecube and DS. The N64 version was kind of framed like a Pokemon kind of deal. The Gamecube version goes for a kind of adult Mega Man Battle Network. The DS version folds into an in-between. Everyone of them you just spam buttons until you get an unintentionally broken weapon that you mega-spam until you see credits. Kind of a shame really.

Despite it being piss easy, I had fun. The color usage for the textures and backgrounds is good. There is one character who I really think paved the way for kids of the future. A charming shit-talking hype beast who uses a female Robo despite being a dude. I might be out of the loop, but there really isn't a lot of games out there for kids where all the kids in it are shitty and annoying to each other, just like in reality. Custom Robo is for the children!

There was a GamePro magazine in early 2000's that had an April Fools Day section every April and the jokes used to bang. There was a Custom Hobo spot in the section that absolutely killed me and the other 12 year olds who could read. This information has nothing to do with anything, but if I die and this account is all that's left of my memory, let it be that I laughed at people being customized with beer bottles and shit filled sweatpants to fight each other in bloodsport -- before my mortal shell was eviscerated by Chinese laser drones in WW3 to uphold Nvidia's stock price.

I want to say something about this game because god fucking DAMN this game is good, but I don't know what to say. So I'm just going to ramble. If you hate this review, feel free to tell me to eat a dick in the comments below.

I watched no less than 12 gaming presentations this month. Twelve. All showing off games of budgets and productions both big and small. I am maybe going to buy three or four games of the hundreds I've seen. Metal Slug Tactics, Motordoom, Selaco, and maybe that new Astrobot game. There's more on my Steam wishlist but they don't have release dates or are coming out in 2025, 2026, etc. Trust me, I'm going to be all over Expedition 33 and Deep State when they eventually come out.

There's still a fuckton of games coming out before the end of this year. I'm not excited to touch any of them. It feels like a dumptruck of garbage games were dumped into my brain space and fell out of my ears on arrival. They all look like mid or ass. I been around the block a time or two. I can pick a game apart within 30 seconds of seeing gameplay. That might just be me becoming more picky with what I choose to spend my time with. It might just be that newer video games as a whole are really formulaic and boring. I find myself in a place in life where a game being just alright is becoming more and more of an egregious sin of my time and energy. I love the games industry, and want everyone to be able to eat and live; but if you ask me, the sooner the video game market crashes, the better.

Have I, at the age of 31, crashed out on gaming? Am I too old and jaded to slop down on the new gachas and live services all the people I know play? They are so BORING. I don't feel passion or love or real art. I see indistguishible jerk bait waifus and dead on arrival live services. Am I boomer now? Am I cooked, chat?

No. No I am not. Because I bought Fallen Aces and it put everything into perspective for me.

I have never, in my entire life, gotten such a good game for such a cheap price. Ten dollars USD is the introductory price for Fallen Aces. In return you get to beat the shit out of goons in the most entertaining and creative of ways. I am in love with this thing. It's old school as fuck in the right ways. Every level is packed to the brim with secrets, wise guys that need a good kick the head, and a lot of fucking sharks. It's not even THAT much of a boomer shooter, it's more aligned with an immersive sim where you are beating the shit out goons with your fists or shit you found off the ground. Guess what, beating the shit out of people feels really good.

New Blood are high-key saviors of gaming if your tastes lie outside of what's in vogue in gaming right now. The levels are really well done, the combat is really well done, the difficulty is just right, the humor is tight, the violence is good, the voice acting is pulp-y and stellar. Shoutout Gianni Matragrano.

I am back in the right headspace, baby. After playing Episode 1 of Fallen Aces, I'm more pumped and patient for other things (as sparse as they may be) to come out and enjoy. The market may be crashing, but I'm not. Fallen Aces has been really therapeutic for me in a very real and genuine way.

I want to like this game a lot more than I actually do. Just like Ubisoft's snowboarding game Steep, Rider's Republic suffers from not having enough JUICE. That SAUCE, dog. I like half of the ideas present here. An all-in-one open world extreme sports fest is cool. Like Forza for people with the world's most exorbitant health insurance premiums. The problem with Rider's Republic is nobody who works at Ubisoft has a soul. It has to be because they're French. With all this flair and no real appeal, this is game is certifiably colonizer core.

Downhill BMX, Trick Snowboarding , Divesuit racing events are the stand outs here. Everything here else is negligible. Everything else here is like accidentally dipping your penis in a high flow toilet while shitting. Everything else here is having a misdemeanor on your record for forgetting to pay a parking ticket. Everything else here is walking barefoot on hot cement. Everything else here is finding out you have a bastard son in Portugal and he trades crypto. Everything else here is Lockheed Martin sponsoring a Pride Parade. Everything else here is getting your car stolen by a 12 year old. Everything else here is getting your college essay be nitpicked for formatting despite knowing more about MLA format than the overworked part-time professor who just ran your document through a program instead of looking at it themselves and you can't get ahold of them to dispute it because they are too busy holding a gun in their mouth deciding if today is finally the day. Everything else here is just like really not great because the physics exist in this state where it doesn't commit to realism or arcade-y style physics and controls and are stuck in this awkward as fuck in between that frankly ruins the experience.

This game fucks my asshole raw.

Ok now that I have your attention, I need your help. I'm putting together a soundtrack to play the upcoming Skate 4 playtest in case the music in the game sucks. I am accepting any and all suggestions. I would prefer the songs to be able to be added to a playlist on Youtube. Comment your skate jams below.

Don't sweat me not being into what you suggest. I will only harbor resentment against you and doxx your IP address to an Indian call center in New Delhi if your suggestions disappoint me. So no pressure. Thanks for your time!

This is a fun novelty piece of free software from the incredible Lillith Walter, shitpost and programming extraordinaire. Her loves for Bloodbourne and shitposting and game making have resulted in another game that's got everyone talking.

The kart racing in this is as good as you could ask for as for a free game that isn't monetized in any way. There are some rough edges when it comes to drifting on certain tracks and the trick boost isn't as good as I want it to be. The shooting though...why does it work so well?

Like Bloodbourne PS1 demake, the graphics lend themselves to the concept pretty well. It's Bloodbourne meet Nightmare Creatures. The controller controls are crazy good (better than any kart racer on the market, in fact) The music is unbelievable. It is great. You best believe I'm ripping that shit and putting it in a folder.

It's time for Lillith to make a game I can buy.

It's pretty good. It's a lil too jank around the edges to be ULTRA REALISTIC. I think this game is the next fix for Rainbow Six Siege players who do alpha male boot camps where you have gay sex eat MRE's on private property in major metropolitan areas; and are subscribed to subreddits where shirtless, ripped men pose with AR-15's. Me? Oh man I am not cut out for the wars they are training me for in this video game. I am a simple man. I am cuck-pilled. I don't even beat my wife nor feel like it. I like her and like being around her as I feel she brings the best out of me. Fucking bitch. I could be out there with The Boys. The men. Feeling rough men in one hand, and a gas powered rifle in the other while pounding Coronas at Chipotle at 11am on a Tuesday. Where did my life go WRONG, bro?

What if you're like a top ranking shooterman in this game and your new objective as last man standing is to hide your body cam footage so it won't be used as admissible evidence in court. Step up the realism. I want to feel the last breaths of air leave a man's body as I penetrate him...with bullets...I kill him with a gun, and he's like "aaaaahhhh" and I'm like "Get cucked nerd!" and afterwards I'm high-fiving my squad bros before realizing I have tears running down my face and....I didn't even...feel them run down...Oh god, oh my god. What have I done? What is this? Who am I? How did I get here? Oh my god ohmygod! FUCK! fuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK. I killed the only man I ever loved for the sake of glory in needless bloodshed. FUCK!!! Carlos...you understood me more than anyone. I'll always remember when we met. The first day of Alpha Males For Jesus Christ bootcamp. You looked at me with those sharp, immaculately hazel eyes, with your customized chrome barrel SPAS-12 in your firm hands and said "Sabor a Mi!" with a bright smile as you cocked your shaft....and now I have no one on this earth who I'd care for more than you...

Yeah so anyway Body Cam is alright.

Gambling is becoming a massive problem due to laxed gambling laws in the United States BUT WHAT IF we were allowed to gamble on how long mid video games that hinge on the "live service" side of things are going to last? Come on it would be so much fun. I think I'd be really good at it.

Here's my bet:

Ok so you take this piece of shit. It's based off of a relatively obscure horror franchise that has a cult following. You staple a Dead by Daylight-y forumla on it. The killers in this game are clowns so you give them goofy things like a killer balloon poodle and a running animation that sounds like fast honking clown shoes. You get a decent amount of sales from your every day dude that's like "HOLY FUCK LOIS THEY MADE A KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE GAME". They play for a week or two before they exhaust the content and go back to playing Call of Duty.

After a few months, the developers panic that the player count plummets and release all the content they developed to release in a longer form. The game gets a little buzz again because you can play as a clown with a balloon dick or something but nobody sticks around again.

The publisher gets cold feet. After six months or so of being out, the game announces it is going into maintenance mode and by 2026 the servers are offline.

Ok ready? Break.

I miss this game a lot. The overall product is just alright, but The Crew 1 had a game structure that I am frankly shocked that Ubisoft didn't run into the ground, because they really had something here. Thanks to game depending on centralized servers, NOBODY CAN PLAY THIS GAME ANYMORE!!! YAAAAAAAY! Death to everything!

I cannot put into words what it feels like when you're tearing ass in the car of your choice that you built up an attachment to because of the spent time upgrading it through numerous challenges -- across the largest fucking map for any game I have ever played. There is-...there was nothing else like it. I can't get this pick up and play thrill from other games besides like Forza Horizon 4 but that game isn't nearly as good in it's game structure.

Because of objective variety and map size, The Crew had thousands of mini challenges and objectives... and due to sheer map size, there was room for way, way more. I am not a car guy, but the cars on offer for just the base version were cool. I bought some DLC cars, but I just enjoyed grinding out better parts with the starter Dodge Challenger. I'm basic, but there's just about every type of major car brand here so you get to be your own snooty little shithead in your utmost ideal commercial car if you really wanted. You didn't even necessarily have to buy any DLC to get something you would like. I know, shocking.

This game does, well, DID do car upgrades really well. You had a Bronze, Silver, Gold ranking for every race and challenge and depending on how well you did, you were given a random part for your car that was either slightly or greatly better than what you were working with. Didn't matter what car you were driving, as long as you completed the challenge with the car you wanted to upgrade the parts for, you were guaranteed an upgrade. It was fucking awesome. I hadn't seen such a fun upgrade system since Racing Lagoon on PS1. That makes two racing games that I have played in my entire life that had fun car parts systems that made you want to do every challenge like crazy. One of those games is completely unplayable now. This gaming genre doesn't fucking suck shit out of a dickhole, guys. I swear.

Ok look, it's Ubisoft game. The "story" is eye-rollingly boring and generic. It doesn't really matter to me because The Crew is 100% a game you could have just turned the volume to 0% to play your own shit and it would mesh well with the game experience. What I will shit on this game for endlessly is that driving at night is awful due to a lack of lighting outside of major metropolitan areas. The day and night cycle was really, really slow. You drive out into the country at night and you could literally be staring at pitch black for an hour.

Despite it's generic presentation, The Crew was great. Great potential to be even better that never happened because The Crew 2 had to have planes or something. I popped back into the Crew 1 a year ago because I missed it and had so much fun. The game was still populated by thousands of console users, too. Now the memory of how cool it was is relegated to people who paid for it and are mad as fuck that they can't play it anymore (me).

I personally think it's really cool that a company dominated by notable unconvicted rapists can take away a product people paid money for with an undefined life span not dictated by the EULA and throw it in the trash after it's not shiny and new anymore because...there's better products? Skull & Bones? A watered down Forza clone they called Crew 3? Hello?! These games are the new hotness. You just don't get it. These games are like super cool. Pay no attention to low sales and breakneck speed of employee overturn. Please look forward to Ghost of Tsu- I mean Assassin's Creed Nippon or whatever. Suck the $180 Ultimate Edition of my dick and balls.

Not a great sign for the industry right now that every review of things I like are turning into eulogies.

It came back worse in every way which is like super impressive.

There is room for a free to play Smash clone for sweaty losers, but the problem is being a diluted Smash clone is just not good enough when Smash feels so much better to play.

Like Nintendo hates you for liking Smash and will never bring the game to platforms beyond their own, so there's room to eat some of it's lunch on Steam. Compared to Smash, Multiversus is too slow and too floaty for it's own good and just won't cut it long-term as a competitor or a fun PLATFORM FIGHTER.

The name Multiversus sucks, the menus are a fucking nightmare, and the 2v2 emphasis isn't even really a thing anymore so it has no identity beyond it's intellectual properties.

We need a different contender in the space.

I'm a massive, straight up ignorant hater of games like Wuthering Waves. Frankly because I think gacha is pathetic. A cash cow, but pathetic. You can hit me with "This game is played by X amount of players and made whatever amount of money." Bitch, this is a slot machine with somewhat in-depth combat mechanics. Like you can see me as a bummer but let's make one thing clear: this is exclusively about warming you up to the idea to pay for pulls.

It was fun mindlessly beating up enemies with the free pulls I got but I couldn't help seeing the mediocrity of Genshin bleeding in every aspect of this game; and the 50 free pulls just seems like a desperate attempt by the devs to chip people off of games they've settled in like Genshin or any mid video games that are a front for gambling addictions.

A rapidly stale monetization approach to sketchy, rip off software will defended to the ends of the earth because people want to jerk off to anime women. Sad shit my man. Let me put you on game: you can jerk off to anime women for free. Don't up your credit card utilization rate for this. Look me in the eyes, bro. Please jerk off to anime women for free. Go get you a five star bitch irl. Start a 401k. Don't buy pulls for this game, bro. Bro.

This time in gaming sucks.

Alright let's start this off right. I have played all versions of P3 before this and I have to say, overall, this is the best version of Persona 3. It did get a bunch of nice new things, but the budget for this game seems way more reasonable and lower scale than you might expect. It really does feel like the ultimate PS2 RPG in that respect. It's about as faithful of a remake you could possibly ask for. I had so much fun with this release, I tore through it in less than two weeks.

Seriously, everything's been remade to spruce up the P3 experience that oldheads can appreciate, and at the same time make people who started the series with Persona 5 comfy. I cannot believe it struck such a balance. The dev team put a lot of thought into everything.

What I like most about Reload is the quality of life improvements on the dungeons. The dungeon crawling is no longer is sloggish nightmare in order to get what you need (XP, Money, Personas). You only need to grind if you really want to to get ahead for the next cropping of sections. It really makes a world of difference being able to spend 2-3 hours in a cropping of floors getting what you need and then optimizing the next month with social links. I used to hate doing the dungeon parts of the game and now I easily see it as one of the best parts. Persona 4 could REALLY use this kind of balancing and quality of life upgrades.

It's only flaw is being too committed to original releases. The plot is pretty slow for the first few months. The Arcana Link side stories are not nearly as interesting. The S.E.E.S. crew is not nearly as interesting as the P4 or P5 crew. I am happy to report Junpei has been fixed to be your typical bonehead idiot than really obnoxious creep. Everyone else is more or less the same. My favorite link Maya is a blast from the past. She is cringe and uses 2005 1337sp34k. She is playing the long shut down Shin Megami Tensei MMO that the game admits was destroyed by World of Warcraft. She's an alcoholic who bitches to teenagers about how much her boss sucks. Definite wife material.

If you've played a Persona game before, I suggest cranking up that difficulty because by the end of the 3rd month I was fucking busted. The only real difficulty on Regular is people not knowing how the game wants you to play, and of course figuring out a certain monster's weaknesses. Thanks to Fuuka's abilities, you can figure out any creature's weakness right away. The only real challenging fights on a Regular level are the sponge-y creatures that have no weaknesses at all and is essentially a party item/SP drain, but from how dungeons work now you'll be loaded with minor healing items to get through most things without thinking twice.

Persona 5 Royal is a better game when it comes to interactions with characters and world-immersion, but Persona 3 Reload is just a better playing RPG that cuts out all the fat and gets to the shit you really want out of the rather old school dungeon stuff. All the new abilities and quality of life features make this a must play even if you have played Persona 3 before. If you are the brainrotted type who thinks Persona 5 is only RPG on the planet worth playing then you MIGHT be looking at your second ever RPG. Congratulations!

I cannot wait for The Answer Episode Aigis in the fall. I cannot wait for the female MC route to come out even though its existence has been denied by devs, but you are fucking crazy if you believe them and think it's not happening. I am going to sell feet pics in 4K and probably going to have a good time doing it.

Play me out, Lotus Juice:

DISTURBING THE PEACE!
LOOK INTO MY EYES!
NOW TELL ME THE THINGS YOU'RE LAUGHING ABOUT BEHIND MY BACK!

This is the best poverty shooter on the market. It's playable on phones. Combat Master is like a marriage of Counter Strike and CoD in how it feels to play. This game is the kind of game you play absolutely blasted off the penjamin and blare loud music on a busted bluetooth speaker, leaving your mic to pick up on it for all your Discord call to hear.

Bro, you can run around with Wolverine from X-Men's claws and just kill people. It's a normal weapon in the game. It's fun.