Oh my fucking god I had tears in my eyes from how hilariously racist this game is. The level of incompetence you could get out of Capcom between 2007-2015 was chefs kiss. And momma-mia this game is a spicy fuckaroni.

Great joy comes at the thought of culturally isolated Japanese people not thinking twice about having their zombie game take place in Africa and have the virus operate like Ebola. Don't worry, the main character is an out-of-place porcelain white dude dressed like Team America World Police agent soldier shooterman. The main villain is a nazi who cosplays as a netrunner from The Matrix. This concept will go really well guys trust me.

The actual fucked thing is the game doesn't do anything cool with it's African setting. Just favela-style infrastructure with melanated folks with huge bloodshot eyes. A majority of the game is just bland building structures that could be anywhere in the world. Boring.

Sheeva is a cool character that should have been the main character, but nothing is done with her other than to spout quips and be the living embodiment of "I'm not racist I have a black friend." as Chris tests Stand Your Ground laws by roundhousing a dude into a ramshackle fish market stand.

Aside from mowing down tribalists in wooden masks who chuck spears at you with a machine gun, the game's racism greatly tones down from Chapter 2 on. The game does a good job of making YOU feel racist by having the pacing fun slow way down after you stop slitting the throats of people and dogs in the street in exchange for some brain-dead puzzles and unengaging co-op platforming.

This game doesn't see color, because everything is brown as fuck. This game was peak sepia-toned nonsense. Fear not, because some sections are instead straight-up gray. You were supposed to be impressed by the HD textures and console performance instead of the color palette. Time has been unkind to that choice.

If this game didn't have good co-op for it's time I think this would have been...not as well received. It's co-op is still fun, but I played through the first couple chapters by myself and I was bored out of my mind. The game structure and setting are mind-numbingly dull compared to RE4. The trends it chased didn't pay off.

This is the perfect Steam gift for that divorced uncle who loves bringing up that Africans owned slaves too.

Wow a cool game to be bored to death by. I played the Earthbound Beginnings version, but I wouldn't mind if someone made a ROM edit that removed all unnecessary encounters from the game. It's pacing is that bad.

This a cheeky NES game from a dude who just started hitting his creative stride. Think of this game as the blueprint Earthbound became because in numerous ways Earthbound feels like a remake based on the first half of this game. Be sure to play a version with save states because you will get your butthole annihilated in the oldest of old school 1980's turn based RPG kind of ways. High encounters and low health recovery options. Damn this series loves assaulting children.

Nintendo put all this work into revitalizing this game but hasn't made it available anywhere else but the goddamn Wii U? Nobody plays the Wii U now unless you replaced the faulty NAND and hacked the software with Mocha or Tiramisu. Nintendo, put out the fucking games you made and charge money for it. Be normal.

I do not know a single person who didn't cry at the end of this game. You're a fucking bitch, I'm a fucking bitch. Let's tug on this thread of emotional repression and bawl like infants.

What is Mother 3? I genuinely don't know. A journey in processing grief and trauma? How the world and everything you know changes under malevolent force? That we are all fated to die, so make the little moments count? Cowboy ninjas are an evergreen combination? Maybe the game is trying to tell us frogs in little red cars are peak pixel art. Like I said, I don't fucking know what I was supposed to take away from the game. I am just genuinely happy I experienced it.

This game is not as good as Earthbound, but it has better combat and it's themes definitely stand on it's own. It's much darker, but it gives more pop when something silly/absurd happens.

My question is what's up with the manly fairies. Are they trans? Are they an exaggeration of drag queens? I don't know what's going on with them, but I don't know why one had to do something very, VERY fucked that caused this game to never be officially translated or ported and it NEVER WILL BE. Itoi absolutely lost his mind and did something very brave and I can't say that it landed. You know what I'm talking about. They went to a place NO OTHER GAME went to and I don't know why they used the fairies to do it. Seems subtextually and overtly disrespectful to the LGBT community. If that's what it takes to get psychic powers I'll hop in that hot spring but like are we SURE like I couldn't watch a Youtube tutorial or take a community college course?

Can you imagine Iwata or Miyamoto playing a review copy of this game because they famously didn't give a shit as it was in development for like 10 years -- and their eyeballs shooting out of their sockets at that scene? Straight up, people high up did not see that scene before it released, because after it released -- this game was put in jail. I can't say I blame them. It seems really difficult to edit that scene out to because there's a good 10-15 minute sequence that's important to the plot that if was cut out would make things fall apart.

Lucas being a crybaby bitch makes people resent him, but his tears are warranted. You have to take step back and realize what this kid has gone through and is still willing to kill turbo Donald Trump for the remaining good left in his world. He is the best of us.

It's a beautiful, messy journey that will have you caring about your own life and the impact you have in it. That's Mother 3' gift. It's other gift to you is making you cry like a motherfucker; 3-4 times at least. If you're reading this and you DIDN'T cry at all then you're a Porky ass bitch. Go to therapy.

Wherever you landed on how you feel about the game, you can agree that we don't get real shit like this all that often. I invite anyone who read all this to tell me what the game meant to you. Even if you identify with being a Porky ass bitch. This game changes people. I will always be curious by the impact highly emotional media has on others.

Like what do you say about this that a white Youtuber didn't say in 2012.

It is an odyssey of transitioning from child to adult. It is a vibe machine. The combat sucks. The combat rules. The encounter rates are too high. The police brutality scene still sends shivers up my spine from context alone. The character name music nails how odd and bizarre your journey will be. You can dump all your money into a house just for the reveal that it is literally missing two walls. Poo feels his limbs and eyes torn out of his body to experience a spiritual deprivation of senses so he becomes a little stronger. Ness' dad is a near non-existent figure in his life, only calling him to have emotionally distant conversations and petty cash deposits while he presumably is fucking bitches and generally getting buck nasty in Reno.

There are hundreds of momentary scenes in the game that will have you delighted, intrigued, confused, and mortified. Those moments are what Earthbound is to me. The life of these kids trying to make it in this fucked up world.

Like, it's Earthbound. It's hype around the player experience is real. It's glazing is overglazed but it's worth biting in even if. You got people everywhere whose hearts and souls have been sucked out of their body from being cynical on Twitter for too long saying "this game is overrated" "an annoying Youtuber I don't like LOVES this game it must be trash" THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW THIS SHIT IS GOOD. How long can something be this relevant to conversation. How long can the experience be this shitted on by contrarians -- if it wasn't worth checking out? Objectively bad things die very quickly in the consciousness of the masses for one reason or another. There are reasons people talk about this game nearly 30 years later.

Don't buy into the hate or overglazing. This is a great, flawed video game with issues that are far surpassed by what you'll get out of it. Which is having the game make you feel every human emotion in sometimes very clever ways. It's only when you do a bunch of stuff and then get a moment to look back is when you'll realize: it's all about the journey itself.

btw There are modded versions of the game that lower the encounter rate and increase xp so you're not grinding like crazy to just make it past a bullshit miniboss.

Better than the core game. It unlocks after some progression in the main quest. This expansion will kick your ass if you're minimum level. This game will challenge level 40+ characters from how much shit it throws at you. This is nice because after a certain point your V is untouchable in Night City. Not in fucking Dogtown. You are going to barely survive, which is the overall tone for this expansion.

Dogtown is a fucking SHITHOLE. It's awesome. Everything is more run down and desperate. Think Escape From New York with sprinklings of like Terminator 2 and a fuckton of political intrigue. It is fascinating. I was sucked into this setting way more than Night City. To quote future Microsoft Appointed Emperor of Neo Ohio and Chess Club Captain, God Howard: it just works.

The REAL fatal flaw was the game's success was dependent on selling cosmetics for characters whose cartoonishly exaggerated bodies and faces that look like a dog's prolapsed asshole. Yeah, let me spend 18 dollars for this disco outfit to put on my guy who looks like a PS3 rendering of what 8 generations of inbreeding looks like. This will be the entire basis of monetization. There's no way this will shut down in less than 6 months.

If you play fighting games and are good working with frames, you could generate gamer moments. The kind that will generate every slur from the even most socially conscious pacifist.

Smacking a dude against the wall, and then tackling him after he peels off the wall, and then doing a fucked up Street Fighter combo on them until they are dead is what I like to think Jeff Bezos feels every time an Amazon warehouse employee is crushed by an unsecured palette of like dog food and sex toys: pure joy.

If you time it right, you can beat on a dude for 20 seconds completely uninterrupted and they cannot do anything about their stunned state unless you miss an attack or are too slow on input. 20 seconds feels like a lifetime to get beat up on. You could have experienced all the stages of grief -- going to therapy to disseminate the anguish -- and heal from the trauma -- in the time it takes to be let go from certain combos. It is a biblical hell unlike anything I've seen. Absolutely hilarious every time.

It is the most tilting experience to get fucked on. But the dopamine from fucking over people whose character models look like they were born in Chernobyl after 1980 - is god tier. It's probably the closest thing some gamers have felt to having someone love them.

The devs say they are shopping around for another publisher. But if I was the prospective publisher, my first move would be to grab and piledrive the art director from the top of a skyscraper onto a taxi and into a shallow kiddie pool for the crime of making people look at this motherfucking game's art style.

Rip in peace Rumbleverse. Your name was really bad and you released at the start of a long market crash, but it was fun to pulverize the hearts and minds of men into dust while looking like a clay sculpture of an aborted fetus.

Goodbye for now, sweet prince.

This is the best goddamn rhythm game period. It's contemporaries like Parappa and Rhythm Heaven do not touch this game's touch on what makes rhythm games both sound good and be fun to play.

You see, you really feel like you're making music with the game when you do well. Of course, it's all an illusion. A credit to how hard the music in the game slaps. The shit is funky as hell. Whatever emotions it tries to convey to you through the music, you fucking feel it. You have to feel it or the vibe doesn't work. If you're rockin with this tutorial music then you can probably rock with the rest of the game.

The gameplay is very engaging. The first time you play a song, and you shift the stick up with the trail bar, then hitting a note and a higher octave riff plays -- it just activates pure joy in my brain. It helps that the music playing is likely an unforgettable banger; and you're in the mix fucking shit up either metaphorically or actually because this game is kind of hard sometimes.

The only thing I don't like about it is the volume is mixed too low on the voice actors in prerendered cutscenes. I think it might have to do with it being a PSP port.

Play it y'all. I don't have funnyman things to say about it. This game has a high percentage of making you feel some type of way.