63 reviews liked by TheMightySpork


Seeing zoomers being old enough to do half hour long essays on how "atcshually Sonic 06 is not that bad" because they grew up with this garbage is perhaps the most piss poor attempt at revisionism by pretentious kids who think their opinions matter because they can do some wacky effects on Adobe Premiere Pro

i like some of the yakuza games, what the fuck do they know about side-scrolling, 2d beat-em-ups?

Fans of powerscaling randoms with omnipotent isekai dogshit self-insert powers who can beat Goku are not ready for when Terraria fans finally join the discussion.

This review contains spoilers

I went into this game expecting it to be a less good version of Persona 4. It's worth noting I played with the party control mod on normal difficulty. I think this is better than Persona 4. You'll see why.

The first half of the game is the weaker point. The story does take a while to get going but when it starts around June-time in-game, it picks up a lot. Even in the first half of the game there is a lot of character interaction and mysteries laid out so that you can keep invested in the game.

Tartarus, the main grinding spot of the game, is not as bad as some make it out to be. I don't see much difference between it and Persona 4's dungeons in terms of structure. Overall, I thought it was a good 'dungeon' (being the only one).

The second half I would really split into two parts. The first part from June-time to October-time is when the story starts really building. Strega is introduced, who wish to stop the team from destroying the Dark Hour. You get the death of Shinji, which was a very sad moment that I'm sure everyone at least teared up at. he was my glorious GOAT, and it gives you a reason to really dislike Strega.

From November to the end of the game, the game is just a complete fucking masterpiece. The buildup before the arrival of Ryoji is perfect, and while his character may be a bit underdeveloped, by the time it comes to decide whether to kill him or to let him live its a seriously 'butterflies in your stomach' experience. After that event, during January, all of the music themes change to be more sombre. All of these songs are amazing.

Speaking of the soundtrack, its fantastic. battle theme highlights are master of shadow, mass destruction, Nyx's battle theme and Strega's battle theme. The sombre songs that play later on in the game ('memories of 'x'') are fantastic, especially memories of the city.

The characters are all amazing (bar like Ken or Ikutsuki) and they all develop with the story, unlike in Persona 4 where all of the characters develop in their social links and then don't develop any further through the main story. Highlights include Junpei (his arc with Chidori was absolutely fucking fantastic), Aigis (which I will get to why...), Fuuka (wholesome and well written), and Shinji (dark and mysterious character but actually good and interesting). The characters and character interactions are fucking amazing and they blow Persona 4 out of the water in terms of development.

But as for the final fight, its a really unique final boss and I very much enjoyed fighting it, especially with the kick-ass music holy fuck. The boss is quite long but the mechanics of the fight including Nyx changing arcanas make it much more engaging and makes the boss feel a lot less like a 'damage sponge'.

As for the ending, bro I seriously cannot get over the ending in this game it is so unbelievably sad and amazing at the same time. I finished the game and then it hit me that the move you use at the end of the game is you sacrificing yourself to seal Nyx away.

... Made me sad enough.

I then later realised during the credits that you were implied to die after being with Aigis as you had promised to spend time with your friends again after it was all over.

...Made me cry.

Then I learned after reading the English lyrics for the credits that the song in the credits was from Aigis' point of view reminiscing about you.

...That really did it for me. I can't even listen to that credits theme now without tearing up. It's that significant.

Fantastic game overall. After Aigis is introduced, I think this might be my favourite story in a game of all time. It's not about the gameplay or the tactics for me, the story that was told was so beautifully done. My favourite game.

"You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"

Majora's Mask is a game which I consider to be a genuine masterpiece, one last hurrah for the N64-era of Zelda games.
It is a game where the mechanics tell the bulk of its story and themes, accompanied with a haunting soundtrack that has never left my frontal temporal lobe ever since I first played this game in the year 2000.
It's jam-packed with interesting story ideas bringing forth a vibe that is like nothing I've ever experienced before or probably will ever experience again. It's evidently a depressing game with a profound tinge of melancholy and deep, almost neverending sadness. And I'm still debating myself whether all of this was intentional or just the result of a string of random circumstances.

So let me unpack all of this just to get a sense of what I'm talking about.

BE WARNED THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS.

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask is the direct sequel to The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, widely considered to be one of the best games of all time, if not the best game of all time. It is a seminal piece of work, one of the biggest adventure games in 3D-gaming at the time. It set the standard of what an adventure game should be and how things like exploration and combat should work in a 3D-space. It inspired a lot of games for decades to come and it's still revered to this day.

So Nintendo had big shoes to fill for the eventual sequel. And what they came up with was lightning in a bottle, a sequel that retained a lot of elements from Ocarina but deviated rather drastically in terms of structure, scale and atmosphere.

In the beginning of the game Link gets ambushed by a creature known as Skull Kid wearing the eponymous Majora's Mask. They are accompanied by two fairies, Tatl and Tael. They steal Epona, the horse we rode on and our precious ocarina of time. As Link gives chase, he falls into a hole. Skull Kid is waiting for Link and he changes him into a Deku Scrub. Skull Kid flees, Tael follows them but Tatl gets left behind with Link.

Together they venture forth and they come across an odd tree-like figure with a face.

It looks like the lifeless corpse of a Deku Scrub. The creature looks sad, almost as if it's been through a great deal of pain and agony. As a sidenote, this becomes really important later. It also sets the tone right away and the game doesn't shy away from injecting a lot of heavy themes and messages into the story.

After a while they come across The Happy Masked Salesman, an individual who will be familiar if you've played Ocarina of Time and this is where he will utter the game's most recognized quote:

"You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"

He's now a central character to the plot of this game and acts drastically different than in Ocarina of Time.
Now he's a tad unhinged and a bit menacing. He begs Link to retrieve Majora's Mask, the mask that Skull Kid is wearing. Skull Kid stole the mask from him and he warns Link that the mask is incredibly dangerous and is capable of inflicting a lot of damage to the world and its people. He can also help Link get rid of his transformation if he retrieves his ocarina. But Link only has three days time. After that, the moon crashes into the world killing everything and everyone. The game ends.

And thus Link sets foot in Clock Town, the largest city in Termina and the game finally begins.

Link can't use his sword, people are kinda racist against him and he cannot leave town because the guards view him as a defenseless child.

You as the player know that that's not true, you've proven yourself in the previous game to be more than capable of defending yourself. But the people only look at the mask. Not what's behind it.

Eventually Link retrieves the ocarina of time just before the moon crashes. You reset the timeline and everything goes back to the way it was, right before you enter Clock Town. The Happy Mask Salesman teaches Link the Song of Healing and he turns back to his human self. You obtain the Deku Mask and you can turn back into a Deku Scrub whenever you want. From there you're tasked to travel to the four corners of the earth to find the Gods to help you put a stop to Skull Kid. Or more fittingly, put a stop to Majora's Mask.

That's the basic plot of the story. But everything gets much deeper than that.

From what I remember when this game came out, I get the feeling that it was liked by some but hated by others. For some it deviated too far from the established formula and forced players to play by pretty stringent rules. There is a three day time limit and everything in the game unfolds by a strict schedule. Things happen or don't happen depending on your actions. People move and according to set schedule and you can interact with NPC's in certain ways to influence their actions thus changing the flow of time. When three days have passed according to the in-game clock, your time is up and you have to "reset the timeline", bringing you back to square one. Everything you did will be undone. It is like you were never there to begin with. Everything and everyone lives on borrowed time in this world.

Saving the game is now a rather elaborate affair. What was once a quick and painless push of a button to save your game is now a game mechanic. You can only, truly, save your game when you play "The Song of Time" and resetting the timeline, basically undoing all your progress. You can, however, save at certain Owl Statues but be warned that this is only a temporary quicksave. If you quit after you've saved at said owl statue, the game starts right after your last time reset.

There are also only four real mainline dungeons, probably the fewest in any Zelda game although I'd argue there are a few mini-dungeons sprinkled in. Some people also took issue with the fact that you're playing as Kid Link and not his adult counterpart.

In some sense, you can view these rules and restrictions as a detriment to the game. Every problem you fixed gets undone.

In truth, they are the game's biggest strength. Every action you take or don't take has its varying degrees of consequences. Almost every character has a name, a story to tell and have relations to other characters in the game. With this the game can differentiate its numerous NPC's and give them real purpose. You really start to feel for these people. The focus of the game isn't to save the princess like the game's predecessors. It is to save the world and its people. This is also where the masks come into focus.

A new set of collectable items in this game are the masks. There were masks in Ocarina of Time but they were only there for a short sidequest. There are three (technically four but I'm not opening the can of worms called "Fierce Deity Mask") that allow you to turn into other characters. There's the aforementioned "Deku Mask" but we also have the "Zora Mask" and "Goron Mask".

As alluded to before, these masks contain the spirits of people who lived and died in the land of Termina. Darmani was a Goron who lived in Snowhead, revered as a hero but died prematurely when he tried to save his people from a calamity. Mikau was a Zora, a guitarist for a music group who died while trying to rescue the eggs of the group's singer Lulu. You play the "Healing Song" to ease their burden and heal their sorrow.

But their work is not done. It is sad to say but they failed in their mission. And now it is your turn to carry on their legacy. The people from their respective habitats look at you as if you are Mikau or Darmani. But you're not. You're just masquerading as them.

Who's the Deku Scrub you might ask? Well we never learn his name. But later in the game there are clues to his identity if you're willing to commit to one of the many sidequests the game has to offer.

To me, this Majora's Mask bread and butter. The ability to tie its story into the gameplay. We can find various themes in this game like identity, dealing with mortality, existentialism. What would you do when faced with the end of the world? Would you help other people? Would you run? Cower? Every character deals with this in a certain way. And it's all tied to their distinct personalities.

These aforementioned masks are not the only ones you can collect. There are a plethora of other masks, each with their varying functionality. There's the returning "Bunny Hood" that lets you run faster, there's the "Bomb Mask" which detonates basically used as a standard bomb and thus blowing yourself up. Some masks are just used once just to collect a Heart Piece. With the exception of the transformation masks, the other masks are a bit underutilized. In some instances you have to do a lot of sidequesting to obtain them and after that, most of them only have a one time use, in most cases to collect a Heart Piece.

So I've extensively written about the story and what makes it so good, what about the gameplay?

It's about the same as Ocarina of Time, you travel the land, collect a key item at the end of the dungeon that you will need to complete the game. It's that typical satisfying Zelda formula of collecting items in order to progress to the next area or unlock upgrades from previously visited areas. To be honest, there is not a lot to talk about here.

The game has some interesting dungeons, most of them will rack your brain more than in Ocarina of Time. Take the second dungeon for example, Snowhead. You have to progress vertically via several rooms all situated around a giant ice pillar. You have to increase or decrease the size of the pillar to progress. The bosses are mostly fought with the masks you use to transform yourself into the other species. It's a unique deviation of the Zelda formula where you would normally fight a boss with the item you obtained in the dungeon.

There are four unique areas ranging from a swamp, a snowy mountain, an oceanside and an area that's filled with ghosts, mummies and zombies. It's all very intriguing and unique.

Let us not forget about the music. The music sets the tone for every location and situation perfectly. Take for example, Clock Town's theme. On the first day, the music encapsulates the mood of a large bustling town with a lot of things to do. People are getting ready for a festival, it's upbeat and lively. As the days go by however, the music gets more frantic, there's a sense of foreboding, the atmosphere gets more dark and gloomy as the moon inches closer and closer to the world. The Song of Healing is maybe one of the most haunting melodies ever composed, an achievement considering it's such a simple melody. The Deku Palace theme is also one of my favorites, perfectly encapsulating the mood of a kingdom in disarray.

If you get the sense that I'm gushing more about this game than critiqueing it then I guess your right. I love this game. Are there flaws? Yes plenty. Most of which are a product of their time, wonky camera-controls, low framerate. But I can't help myself. I just love this game so much.

If you want to play Majora's Mask, you can't fail with the original of course, playable on the Switch NSO. You can play the remake on 3DS, but it changes a lot about the game and I would personally not recommend to play the remake as your first playthrough. I would recommend that excellent Recompilation. It runs at 60FPS, looks incredible, there's widescreen support and there is a fully functioning 3D-camera. It's an incredible achievement.

Before Final Fantasy VI, I don't think I ever thought of video games as anything more than a fun pastime. I'm sure many gamers tend to have that one "Eureka!" moment when they play a game that transcends all prior preconceptions they may have had about the medium, and for me it just happened to be this one. It was the first game to make me feel deeper emotions other than simple joy or mere frustration; emotions such as pity, grief, indignation, and love. It was the first game to make me cry. It was the first game to make me realize the worth that this medium has as an art form; an observation I made moreso in retrospect as I got older. Regardless, it was obvious to me in those days that this was a special game and that I would never forget it.

I feel like writing an in-depth review for this game is pointless. Never mind the countless video essays and online discourse that exists on it, but there are some things I hold too near and dear for me to scrutinize for it to not feel like a trite obligation. All I can really add to the endless discussion is that this game definitely solidified my life-long love for JRPGs. I came to love these characters and view them as family. I became enthralled in their struggles and the rage I felt towards Kefka was very much real. Hell, this clown may still hold the spot for most puncheable video game villain of all time for me. It's a title that could very well translate to greatest video game villain of all time, as well.

Please, if you haven't played this game, I strongly urge you to. I may never be able to fully express just how much this game means to me, but after putting off a review for so long, I'm just glad to have at least tried.

Moments I remember crying to (iykyk):

- The Train scene
- The Opera scene
- The Greatest Video Game Track Ever Composed

There are games you finish and don't know what to say because they are so unremarkable, and then there are games like 1000x resist where I sit at my computer inmediately after thinking how exactly I could do the game justice without just playing it again whilst taking notes.

I'll try to be brief, but what 1000x resist's sci fi narrative adventure game brings to the table is that its not only dense as hell plot and theme wise, feeling almost like an adaptation of some acclaimed novel, whilst also having stylistic flourishes that are both impressive and also feel purposeful in a way that a higher budget game probably wouldn't. They made a game this visually striking with what feels like cardboard sets and a few unity shaders. The starkness of the environment design and the various shifts of perspective from over the shoulder to first person to top down to side scroller in a way that feels elegant rather than whiplash to the extreme.

The credits have the usual indie game thing where one guy was Modeler, Texturer, Writer, Designer, Costum Designer, Chef, Lawyer and Defender of the Innocent. The game is so impressive as someone who does 3D modelling myself, I have taken a bunch of screenshots of the game simply because I love how they look. One small ass team somehow puts most AAA games I've played to shame in the visual department.

Thats not to say the game's budget or lack thereof doesn't become apparent with the lack of facial animation. Of course the game understands this to some extent, hence the choice of making the sisters require masks to breathe and be clones of each other (hence, only like 5 or so models had to be rigged up) but thats what taking advantage of your limitations is all about.

Story wise, its again hard for me to really comment because its dense but in a way that all great narratives are, like say, Moby Dick or The Truman show, which are enjoyable both at surface level and on a deeper read of the symbolism. Not everything worked for me, and the resolutions of the endings could have perhaps been more elegant, as well as all the Hong Kong stuff carrying the stench of liberalism about it (Incidentally the cops of the provisional government being called the Red Guard was really on the nose) but the game is otherwise so engaging that I don't mind. Strong personal contender for GOTY, it and Extreme Evolution : Drive to Divinity are the front-runners for me.

I didn't get racism until it happened to robots

He's a freak out the sheeeets and the other guy gets his own cinematic with dramatic lighting just to spout "Moshi moshi?" to the fairer sex. It's time to get acquainted with- wait, what? Oh, it's a common entry point for the series. I'll try not to bring up content from the other games. That said, most of the major players from Yakuza 3 to 5 were still not brought back. I'm satisfied with the substory cameos, though. People were fucking crazy in the late 90s. They had more money and adult entertainment than they knew what to do with. They do know, actually, but I don't think I'm strong enough to give the deets.

After Yakuza 3... this is a strong contender for best story, so far. 3 had tourists, kids and pets roaming the streets of Japan and it's kinda weird they stopped existing afterwards, but now stray cats and dogs can be found again. Fittingly, Majima doesn't sport the role of the straight man that Kiryu has wink wink, actively splashing fuel to the fire. Though when push comes to shove, this Kiryu can be less straight...the man.... less man straight well it's Yakuza bruv when you kill a man he dies and when you give him backshots your name is Mr. Shakedown.

I played Kiwami, but I was glad to see the combat again here. We are eating! But is it good? This is more confirmation that the moveset never was the problem. We were warned, this is what happens when you give a chimpanzee a machine gun. The random super armor on enemies was especially egregious this time around. Is this how disco forged our men? I have that crazy theory that Kiryu can only sprint in this game because he's... under 30 years old! Supposedly. But then he kinda rember in future entries. Never tell him to take a hike, because chances are, he's in Beast style and will actually grab a hike and maul you with it.

It's weird thinking of this Majima as one people may have gotten to know first. But they are very unlucky!! That is the peak of his career. His styles also have nada to do with the true dawg of Shimano. A bat and dance moves? Can't I use a knife and ninjutsu? What's the point in showing the watermelon flashback if not to instill in the player's head that he must be an expert knife user that can fruit ninja irl. Riddle me this. Why is Kiryu's real estate better than Majima's real dump of a club? Because an eye for business has less worth than two forced to commit yubitsume that's enough yakuzing cya next entry or my name isn't goror majimer, the Apex Predator named Princess.