hamifihekrix
2012
This review contains spoilers
reasons why i think cloud strife is a woman:
- the thing most people will think of is the cross-dressing section. this is not what makes me think that cloud is a woman. in the original game here, the section is at best played for laughs with a couple lines that hint at something deeper. this section in remake is maybe one of my favourite changes, in that it is much more complex. cloud is embarrassed by "cross-dressing", but never does cloud explicitly say that they hate it. rather, they avoid the situation entirely, being unable to look aerith in the eye, choosing to refuse to engage in conversation regarding the situation. i believe this is because they cannot admit to themselves that they maybe don't completely hate this entirely?
- the core themes of the original game especially (as this is something that pokes its head more towards the end - i'm very excited to see how this is adapted in the remake series), searching for your true identity, releasing that your assumptions about your own identity aren't true, learning to live as yourself rather than what you think you have to be, these are all things that will be extremely familiar to any trans person.
- sephiroth represents the Masculine Man (even if he's a bit of a pretty boy too) that multiple young boys in the game idolize and aspire to be like, including cloud - supposedly. i think cloud chases the idea of sephiroth so hard in their childhood, up until the nibelheim incident, because they believe they too need to be a Masculine Man.
- cloud's childhood relationship with tifa supports this also. how cloud thinks and acts towards tifa is different to how they think and interact with the boys, despite being an outsider to both. this can be interpreted as (and is likely intended to be) more about cloud having romantic feelings towards tifa, but i think it is a situation of confusing romantic attraction with dysphoric envy (though i also do think there is an attraction in there too - the cloud/aerith/tifa polycule is a delusion i love).
- it is only through the acceptance of their true identity that they are able to move forward, to be more honest, to truly connect with others unlike before. the party members act as cloud's support network. tifa would accept her immediately, maybe she even guessed that cloud's gender was more complex than meets the eye. maybe she even thinks more about her sexuality, having thought she couldn't be a lesbian because she seemingly liked a boy, even if she's never liked a "boy" other than cloud. barret hasn't met a trans person before, but he tries his best. maybe takes some time getting used to cloud's new pronouns, and maybe asks awkward questions, and maybe is just generally awkward at first. but he's always trying his best, and he'll get there in the end. cloud wishes she could have shared this moment with aerith, because she knows aerith would have had a lot of fun with it. doing each others makeup, going clothes shopping - aerith would have been the most affirming by far.
there's probably a dozen or two other more specific examples of text that support this idea that i could dig to get. but these are more the pillars that support this idea for me. i've never really been so convicted in regards to a trans headcanon before - usually it's just a fun idea to think about, how a character intended to be male exploring their gender. in the case of cloud, there is so much, narratively, that i feel supports this idea, that it actively enriches the game's narrative as a whole.
- the thing most people will think of is the cross-dressing section. this is not what makes me think that cloud is a woman. in the original game here, the section is at best played for laughs with a couple lines that hint at something deeper. this section in remake is maybe one of my favourite changes, in that it is much more complex. cloud is embarrassed by "cross-dressing", but never does cloud explicitly say that they hate it. rather, they avoid the situation entirely, being unable to look aerith in the eye, choosing to refuse to engage in conversation regarding the situation. i believe this is because they cannot admit to themselves that they maybe don't completely hate this entirely?
- the core themes of the original game especially (as this is something that pokes its head more towards the end - i'm very excited to see how this is adapted in the remake series), searching for your true identity, releasing that your assumptions about your own identity aren't true, learning to live as yourself rather than what you think you have to be, these are all things that will be extremely familiar to any trans person.
- sephiroth represents the Masculine Man (even if he's a bit of a pretty boy too) that multiple young boys in the game idolize and aspire to be like, including cloud - supposedly. i think cloud chases the idea of sephiroth so hard in their childhood, up until the nibelheim incident, because they believe they too need to be a Masculine Man.
- cloud's childhood relationship with tifa supports this also. how cloud thinks and acts towards tifa is different to how they think and interact with the boys, despite being an outsider to both. this can be interpreted as (and is likely intended to be) more about cloud having romantic feelings towards tifa, but i think it is a situation of confusing romantic attraction with dysphoric envy (though i also do think there is an attraction in there too - the cloud/aerith/tifa polycule is a delusion i love).
- it is only through the acceptance of their true identity that they are able to move forward, to be more honest, to truly connect with others unlike before. the party members act as cloud's support network. tifa would accept her immediately, maybe she even guessed that cloud's gender was more complex than meets the eye. maybe she even thinks more about her sexuality, having thought she couldn't be a lesbian because she seemingly liked a boy, even if she's never liked a "boy" other than cloud. barret hasn't met a trans person before, but he tries his best. maybe takes some time getting used to cloud's new pronouns, and maybe asks awkward questions, and maybe is just generally awkward at first. but he's always trying his best, and he'll get there in the end. cloud wishes she could have shared this moment with aerith, because she knows aerith would have had a lot of fun with it. doing each others makeup, going clothes shopping - aerith would have been the most affirming by far.
there's probably a dozen or two other more specific examples of text that support this idea that i could dig to get. but these are more the pillars that support this idea for me. i've never really been so convicted in regards to a trans headcanon before - usually it's just a fun idea to think about, how a character intended to be male exploring their gender. in the case of cloud, there is so much, narratively, that i feel supports this idea, that it actively enriches the game's narrative as a whole.
2020
it's cute!
2021
finishing the epilogue and then thinking about one of the bad ends for the first game... anyway this is fantastic for what it is! it only took me two hours to get all the endings but i loved all the characters so much, i would play ten more of these games just exploring their lives. i've never really seen trans media that portrays the vague disconnect of being around friends who are cis girls... our experiences are so similar yet so different and that subtly sits in the back of your mind always. masterful!
woah this game feels awesome to play!! it's basically a glorified tech demo but i got 21 hours out of it from getting all the trophies so its fine... and goddamn am i excited for the phantom pain! i've been keeping my expectations low for mgsv given what i've heard about it (basically, good gameplay, bad story) but ground zeroes has made me very excited regardless!!
2020
GAY SEX.
the fact that people saw the way bayonetta and jeanne talk to each other in this and then thought "yeah bayonetta should get with LUKA :)" is insane to me
replayed through on normal to get the collectables + combat trophies i didn't have, then replayed again on hard and infinite climax. counting this as only one replay because i only watched the cutscenes on the first replay.
the fact that people saw the way bayonetta and jeanne talk to each other in this and then thought "yeah bayonetta should get with LUKA :)" is insane to me
replayed through on normal to get the collectables + combat trophies i didn't have, then replayed again on hard and infinite climax. counting this as only one replay because i only watched the cutscenes on the first replay.
it's fine. very, very fine. maybe the finest video game i've played.
(i couldn't get the final mission to unlock despite seemingly filling all the requirements i've seen posted online, so i watched the final mission on youtube. oops!)
(i couldn't get the final mission to unlock despite seemingly filling all the requirements i've seen posted online, so i watched the final mission on youtube. oops!)
okay i played through hard mode to (finally!) get the platinum trophy so i decided to just watch all the cutscenes again to make it a proper replay and....... yeah this game fucking rules. i GET why some people don't click with it (especially people who really liked the og) but maaaan no game has ever made me as giddy and excited as this. the rhythm game minigame and the stuff around it alone makes this a 5 star experience (i have some THOUGHTS on cloud's gender that i will wait until i replay the original to share), but basically every character is expanded on in such interesting ways that i love how much time we spend with them. also really appreciated the gameplay more on hard difficulty surprisingly!! i did the pride and joy simulation thing before starting on hard so that definitely helped, but its very satisfying to jump around the characters doing different stuff... in my original playthrough i basically only played as tifa during combat and got really frustrated when she wasn't in the party lol. i should be finally buying a ps5 soon, and rebirth is 100% the main reason why
I'M FINALLY DONE WITH THIS PIECE OF SHIT GAME HOOOOOLY
1997
fuck this game. shitty water controls, shitty sand controls, shitty general controls, shitty powerups, shitty level design. this only took me a bit over 3 hours to beat but i did that across four sittings. i couldn't even bear to look at this piece of shit for an hour at a time. only one star because i respect the jumpscare spiders
1996
was nobody going to tell me the master hand boss fight originated in a vaguely racist miniboss in a kirby game??
anyway it was fun! very repetitive though, i feel it would have benefited from merging elements from the other modes into milky way wishes and just having that alongside gourmet race and the great cave offensive
anyway it was fun! very repetitive though, i feel it would have benefited from merging elements from the other modes into milky way wishes and just having that alongside gourmet race and the great cave offensive
2018
me beating this game for the first time: celeste is one of my favourite games of all time!
me replaying this game and actually beating farewell: i am a changed woman. i have undergone trials and tribulations harder than any historical figure and i have come out of it an evolved being.
me replaying this game and actually beating farewell: i am a changed woman. i have undergone trials and tribulations harder than any historical figure and i have come out of it an evolved being.
quite a fun challenge when you abuse save states, but i cannot imagine playing this game on the original hardware. losing all your abilities each time you die is bad enough, but your attacks being so tiny and only going in four directions makes for an annoying time
great game but they weren't kidding when they said this game is more like a movie sheesh
2007
i think its easy to overlook how much portal does - both because of its sequel that is apparently leagues above this, and because of the advancements in gaming in the last 16 years - but this game is great, man. such a satisfying learning curve and (to my knowledge) an incredibly unique narrative at the time of its release. i have my hopes high for portal 2!
i feel like the last two thirds of this game is where this game is strongest. this game took me two months to finish just because the beginning third of the game was really fucking annoying. personally i found that it picked up after the boss fight against the fear - though its hard for me to judge how much of that was the game getting better vs me being better at the game. i will replay this game at some point (maybe on the hd collection on ps3?) and i'll see how much my opinion shifts.
my only complaint outside of that is the controls. man, this is REALLY not fun to control. i am just not a fan of shooters that force you to stay locked in place while aiming, and on top of that you can't change the sensitivity while aiming, and on top of THAT there's no crosshair. i can't really blame the game for that stuff though because it is a ps2 game :')
my only complaint outside of that is the controls. man, this is REALLY not fun to control. i am just not a fan of shooters that force you to stay locked in place while aiming, and on top of that you can't change the sensitivity while aiming, and on top of THAT there's no crosshair. i can't really blame the game for that stuff though because it is a ps2 game :')