It was probably revolutionary when it came out, but nowadays you can truly feel it was actually a step backward from what an actual beat-em up should look like. Ironically, allowing Batman to make the choice where he takes the fight next is less freeing than making the choice on your own as a player. Spamming square is so much better than choosing where to take the fight and what weapons to use! I would much rather play this game than Devil May Cry 3! (No one has ever said this in the history of the world) It's understandable that this game is as lukewarm as it is, because it attracts the type of people that say pizza is their favourite food.

Why is it that random hoodlums in a stealth mission are more unforgiving than my actual canon enemies? Why were both Bane and the Jonkler straight out of a Crash Bandicoot game? Were the creators of this game stupid?

Minor Nitpick:
This game is (current year minus 2009) years old. Why the fuck does Steam default to a Xbox controller layout for any one controller? Who the fuck looks at an X and thinks "oh yeah this is on the right side of my controller, I will now proceed with clicking that button". X is always down. You guys are PISSING me off.

Sexy, sexy Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy.

A game that has effectively taken every single system from the first and fleshed it out tremendously.

FO2 added sex.
That's fucking awesome :'D.
There's a formula to determine how good you are at sex, as follows:

(CH 50 + EN 25 + AG 13 + ST 12)
------------------------------------------------------------ + (SEX PERKS) > 9
100
I studied this formula meticulously, to craft the ultimate sex pest.

I started by fluffing the male porn stars in New Reno for most of August.

Depending on how much you fuck, you can receive various reputations regarding it. There's an option to use a condom if they're in your inventory. I ensured these devices of Moloch were never on my character. I ensured my obj_sex_rating was as high as possible at all times. Once I had sex ten times, I was delighted to find out that my sexual dialogue improved and I was given the "Gigolo" title. My addiction to Buffout and Jet was wearing me down, and the "poison" debuff in my mouth and groin did me little favors.

I eventually fucked a mob bosses daughter. I subsequently told her mom, who proceeded to tell me she was better in bed. My sex stats gave me more pillow talk options, in which I asked about her husband. I later decided it was in our best interest to kill the entire Mob Family (the daughter and my unborn child were caught in the crossfire - RIP)

I eventually bet my anal virginity to a super mutant over a game of arm wrestling. I woke up with a ball gag in my inventory. I got so mad that I decided to blow up an oil rig.

Also, I wrote like a real 6 paragraph review and then deleted it to post this one instead.

This is the good Sonic game. All the Juice went to this one. Sonic 1 and 2 Feel like beta tests for Sonic the Hedgehog 3, and also Knuckles.

There's so many weird mechanics in this it almost feels like a Kirby (& Knuckles) game. That's the highest compliment I could possibly give a 2d platformer.

I have yet to discover why so many... special people... are into this franchise. So far they are just decent platformers with very good 16 byte arcade graphics that nintencan't. I don't know when the inflation diaper crowd came in. I tremble in both anticipation, fear & Knuckles to find out.

Confidant who is hyperfocused on burning ants: Alright Joker... it's a deal then... I'll be your ant burning friend from here on out
*flashback animation*
My sexy hag prosecutor: You must have had some kind of insect combustion expert on your team.. who was it!! TALK!!!!
Me, popping a stiffy so hard I'm about to pass out: i think i hauve mental shutdown syndrome

Great game, ultimately still strictly worse than the other 2 modern Personas if you care about anything else than presentation. Concept is great - who doesn't love silly Lupin heists? The story immediately drills into the core of Planet slop at the start of the Medjed arc and doesn't recover for more than brief moments of JRPG cheese (I like the gooey cheese though). All the Social Links (that's what they're called man) are pretty good, but none are really great unless it's like the two that I missed. The soundtrack? It's great. The UI? Okay this might get assassins sent after me but to me it's very busy for a UI and I think it's a bit overrated in terms of being the be all end all of design for that reason. It is beautiful though.

I really like the additions to the combat system, despite it all feeling a bit overtuned - I died like three times in my entire playthrough and 2 of them were due to not having high enough damage and 1 of them was me nuking myself on a reflect. The baton passing, extra elements and Social Link buffs really help One More stand out as Not Just Press Turn But Worse (it still is worse, but you know, it helps, and it's fun).

Honestly after P3 the whole time management system and Social Links kinda feels tacked on to the other Persona games. Like it was meant for that game in particular and makes total sense with the theme whereas here they are just... systems that surround a JRPG. If that makes any sense. If I'm crazy you can shoot me in the head.

I stopped at the third semester. "Why"? I shouldn't have to justify that. Why didn't you? You should explain yourself. The story is over. If you continued to play for 30 hours you don't care about story do you? You don't give a shit about storytelling at all. You just care about characters and seeing them interact in little set pieces. You're a poser. You just want to play with dolls in your head because the cast functions as premade OCs for your fanfiction when you can't write your own. You're having the Phantom Thieves step in for real relationships in your life. You're pathetic. Sorry.. sorry about that. I don't know what came over me. Forgive me.

Nitpicky Rant Minor Spoiler Asshole Lightning Round:
- I think JRPG creators have realized 60% of people only play the first act and that's why a lot of modern JRPGs are frontloaded nosedive halfway in. Much research to be done here.
- Morgana has decided 30% of my nights simply can't be used for anything
- Please do not give me insanely overpowered DLC items for no reason you crazy bastards
- Why are we still pretending Persona protagonists can be self insert? Please just name him next time. He's stuck in this weird limbo where he's an unvoiced blank slate but also randomly will have lines. Give it up Atlus.
- Could not fuck Akechi Goro
- Morgana cat form? Cute. Cuddly. What a little guy. Love him. Morgana Metaverse form? I'm going to kick him over a building.
- Ban all localization from saying "kek"
- Having the optional dungeon turn mandatory in the final act is insane, it didn't affect me but for those it did I am so sorry
- The in media res flashback structure contributes absolutely nothing other than to do a "Ohhh I actually forgot crucial details" plot twist, it's basically just there to be there
- "The Councillor" Tarot? Really? Come on.
- The final dungeons(s) are basically completely disconnected from the theming of the rest of the game which makes them seem really out of nowhere and lame
- Like 3-4 instances of Japanese being spoken but no subs anywhere. "Just play in English" Haha, no, obviously. Don't be fucking stupid
- Demon negotiation is actually just SMT But Lame
- We have yet to find a good way to hide elemental weaknesses and then show them later and this is no exception

Tails is gone. Tails is back. He's gone. he's dead.
Tails only contribution to this game is to be a burden. He contributes nothing. He breathes my bubbles. He crumbles my platforms. He does nothing to deserve being at my side. He's the worst partner I could have ever asked for.

I couldn't imagine playing without him.

This game is less hell than Sonic 1. The final boss however is Moloch.

I have beaten this game 4 times in my life.
Every time I play this game, I feel dread.

I say to myself "Chapter 1-1 was good. I like the Africa setting".
I make it to chapter 1-3. "It's all downhill from here" I say to my friend.
Chapter 3-1 appears. "This is the worst chapter in the game" I say.
Chapter 5-3 appears - "This is the worst chapter in the game - I hate this chapter".
I beat the game. "This game sucks" I say to myself.

3 years pass.

"resident evil 5 is good" I proclaim.
"Aside from a few shit chapters, this game is awesome. It's shittier than 4 but it's still fun!"
I relaunch the game to play with my friend.

"this game is so clunky it's fucking awesome".
Chapter 2-1 appears. "The swamp is the last good part of the game".
I spend the next 5 chapters saying that we're at the worst part of the game.
The game ends.
"Wow I hate the entire ending sequence of this game - I never want to play this game again".

5 more years pass.

"Yeah I'll play resident evil 5 with you"

I have Stockholm syndrome. I am dying.

Why did they do this? Why did they do any of this? Where is the residence, where is the evil? What is anyone talking about?

This game starts you off in Africa. Every moment you have in this game is the theoretical peak, because it's never gonna get better. From the first 6 seconds you spend figuring out how to control your character (the answer is you do not) it's all downhill from there. 10 hours of straight downwards spiral until the survival horror game eventually is completely lost in a sea of call of duty action slop. I don't know when you leave Africa. The sequence of events that occurred in this game both imply that you are no longer in Africa, but also never implies that you left Africa. At some point you go to a fuel factory that produces fuel, puts it in canisters, then promptly incinerates them. If you looked at this story with serious analytical eyes, you might be honestly inclined to believe it's genuinely meant to be presented as a dream sequence.

After 15 years someone from Capcom came back to this game on Steam and randomly removed all the quick time events, but all the cutscenes still look like they have them. This is very funny. I don't even know how they did that. It is the videogame equivalent of watching a sitcom with the laugh track removed. I laugh and I laugh. I stop laughing soon. It's not funny.

It genuinely feels like someone read a 1 page summary of Resident Evil 4, looked at the sales numbers and said WOW! WE GOTTA DO THAT AGAIN! MAKE EL GIGANTE AGAIN!!!! Then they gave it to the developers who were so excited that they could use the PS3's 1 trillion cores to render reflections in sunglasses that they forgot to code a videogame. It's absolutely everything I didn't like in 4 turned up to 11 and the rest of the game left behind in brackish swampwater to rot and fester for eternity. It's kinda RE tradition to have the last act be dogwater but this is even more piss than usual.

My friend and co-op partner played this many times before. I asked him why. He started staring at his hands, repeating the question. Why? Why? He stared at the sky. Why did he play it? I still don't know. He won't speak to me anymore. Just keeps replaying it. He spends 6 hours a day on the boss that only dies to the RPG, but he refuses to use the RPG. I hope he gets better soon.

While placing a giant spoonful of delicious cereal in my mouth I proudly declare that this series will never go back to its roots and become good again.