I’ve always liked Super Meat Boy, but never loved it until recently. Being one of the first of the many “masocore” platformers, it’s always maintained relevance since the 2008 prototype. It doesn’t have any major gimmicks, and instead focuses on the games of old. You have a simple goal.
Dr Fetus has kidnapped Bandage Girl. Save Bandage Girl! It’s as simple as it gets. Well, what about the controls? You run, jump, and that’s it. So, where’s the fun? The controls. I firmly believe that Super Meat Boy has the best controls of any platformer released to date. Meat Boy is incredibly fast, while also having a floaty jump. Normally I’d say that this is bad for most games, but Super Meat Boy makes it work. All of the levels are designed with this high speed and floatiness in mind, stretching the controls to the furthest possibility. It’s most noticeable in the much later levels, but even then, this attention to detail is present in earlier levels. It makes the game feel truly limitless, by allowing you to speed through the levels, having an extremely high skill ceiling down to the very frame. It’s a bit unwieldy, but once you master it, it feels like you can do anything. And do everything you shall, because there's a catch. It’s called SUPER for a reason. Super Meat Boy is considered among the hardest platformers, and for good reason. It’s a relentlessly difficult game, doubly so for 100%, but that’s where the beauty of the game lies within. Sure, you may retry a dozen times just to unlock the Dark World level, but by all accounts, the game pushes you to that mastery by rewarding you for overcoming challenges. It wants you to succeed. It’s difficult, but fair, and one of the most rewarding to conquer. The levels all feel distinctive from one another, and each individual one teaches the player a different lesson throughout their short runtimes. The level progression of Super Meat Boy is nothing but incredible. It introduces a gimmick in one level, and each level builds upon it. And then suddenly, another gimmick pops up. And then another, and another, and another, until you’re working with all of the mechanics before you even know it. And then the Dark World version of the level shows how much better you can get with said mechanics. No gimmick feels underutilized, nor unfun and cheap, and no level feels forgettable at all. It emphasizes how strong the whole game’s design is. And if you really want a challenge, you can always go for the Bandages! The bandages of Super Meat Boy force you to master the level to even get a shot at them. Getting them is the easier part. Surviving is harder. If you so much as graze a saw with these babies, you lose the bandage, but succeed and the game proudly announces that you got the bandage. It's a feeling like no other. I had my shit absolutely rocked throughout the entirety of Super Meat Boy 100%. Getting the bandages really made me feel like I accomplished something, both in a metaphorical and literal sense, as unlocking bandages allows you to play as brand new characters.
Akin to The Binding of Isaac, all characters cover a specific niche. Meat Boy is your main man, with all of the levels designed for him first and foremost. The others give you entirely new platforming abilities, but typically have a stipulation, like for example, Commander Video. He gets a short float, but is pretty slow compared to Meat Boy. There's about 10 characters overall, a few of which require a secret code to be inputed. The cool thing about it is that most characters come from other indie games, making Super Meat Boy feel more like a video game which proves how far indie games have come. Even more interestingly, the console and PC versions of the game has different characters within them, each accommodating the difference in the Indie scene on PC and Consoles. The Warp Zones themselves have the same characters, so Commander Video from Bit.Trip, Jill from… Mighty Jill Off, Ogmo from Jumper, the titular character, Flywrench, and The Kid from I Wanna Be The Guy are all here and accounted for. Meanwhile, Gish, Tim, Guy Spelunky, Pink Knight, and The Ninja are console exclusive, while Headcrab, Alien Hominid, Josef, Naija, RunMan, Captain Viridian, and MR. MINECRAFT, are all exclusive to PC. In the end, it doesn't really matter which version you play, but it kind of sucks that we never got some Super Meat Boy Definitive Edition with all of the characters from both versions, but in general, the balance of characters is very solid. While The Kid is among the best characters in the game for the best double jump in the game, he is a lot slower and jumps lower than Meat Boy. And also, in order to even get him, you need to complete the 3 hardest levels in the game, back to back.
This is a perfect transition into talking about the bane of my existence. GOLDEN GOD. Is actually really fun! Super Meat Boy will take you about a weekend to complete, but GOLDEN GOD could take upwards of a month to achieve. I played on-and-off ad nauseam over the course of a year, amd Golden God completely transforms Super Meat Boy as a game. In order to achieve Golden God, you need to
- Clear all 7 Light Worlds, with an A+ Rank
- Clear all 7 Dark Worlds (aka X worlds), harder versions of the Light World, but no A+ ranks are needed
- Obtain all 100 Bandages
- Unlock every Character
- Clear all Warp Zones, sets of 3 bite sized levels with 3 lives per level
- Clear all Glitch levels (technically optional but adds to 100%)
So... yeah, any completionist certainly has their work cut out for them. The Dark Worlds alone nearly broke me, but damn did I pop off when I cleared every one of them. Chapters 1, 2, 3, and 6 are pretty manageable when it comes to their challenge, but I genuinely contemplated quitting the entire operation at World 4X. I was 100%ing each World at about 1 or 2 per day, but 4X threw off my flow by a lot. It took me about 3 days to fully beat it alone, and 5X only got more and more challenging. 5X is among the most challenging worlds in the entire game. Each level was a challenging contraption made with only the most difficult platforming setpieces in the entire game. But each time I died, the music always brought me coming back for more!
Super Meat Boy’s soundtrack is legendary, no doubt about it. Some of the most Newgrounds esque shit that you can imagine, but it’s some of that good shit nonetheless. Forest Funk was stuck in my head for months once I first conquered Super Meat Boy, Beatus Blues is an incredibly catchy tune. Can O’ Salt is a Minecraft song (described by one of my IRLs), Hell feels grand and imposing, and The Rapture feels like a goddamn military tune. The End is weirdly cinematic but also really good, and CHAPTER MOTHERFUCKING 7!
Chapter 7 is where my 100% streak really died off. I completed 5 levels a DAY at this point. There are no bandages, no warp zones, nothing. Just you, your controller, and Bandage Girl. Yeah, for Chapter 7 alone, you get to play as Bandage Girl. And these levels aren’t among the most difficult in the game, they ARE the most difficult in the game. Don’t let the happy music and overabundance of pink fool you. The Cotton Alley has some of the most pseudo-pixel perfect shit that you can imagine, but once again, it’s HARD but FAIR. I never wanted to ragequit because the game wasn’t unfair. It’s one of the hardest 2D platforming levels ever made, but one of the best. Every single piece of tech that the game taught you comes back for a spectacular finale, and a spectacular finale that is. This all culminates in the HARDEST level I’ve ever beaten. “The Four Letter Word” is IMPOSSIBLE. It’s 1 minute of straight pixel perfect platforming, easily the hardest level in the game, and it was 11 PM. I was in my room alone, with only the bright visuals of the Cotton Alley keeping me awake. But I was determined. And it took over a very long time, but after an hour, I saw Meat Boy. I was at the goal. I made the final jump, and dropped my controller. I was so satisfied, but I knew that was only half the battle. So, I got a good night’s rest, knowing that the following day would be hell.
Or was it? I powered through Cotton Alleys’ Dark World like it was nothing. I was Meat Boy. I felt the heaviness on my heart each time he died, but each victory kept me coming back for more and more. I crushed half of the levels like soda cans. But the remaining few pushed me past my breaking point. And with 4 levels to go, with just me and the game, I received... Golden God??? Welp, that was fun! Yeah, not sure why the achievement unlocked early, but I decided to leave it at that. But as the final completion reward, you unlock the Meat Ninja, who always runs and can teleport through sawblades after pressing X. You can’t use the leaderboards with him, but it’s a solid reward for 100%.
Super Meat Boy is a masterclass of game design, being one of the best platformers ever made. It has over 300 handcrafted levels, all of which test the player’s skills in the best way possible. It’s one of those pick up and play games, where you can play and clear a few levels, or complete the entire game in a sitting. It’s a fun game, to put it simply, and I can’t recommend it enough, now that the XBLA store is shutting down. Rest In Peace, but long live Steam. Welp. What is there to to cover now?
MYSELF. Yeah, I know this is pretty out of scope to cover in a controversial platforming series with a silly cube of meat, but I wanted to talk about another controversial platforming series with a Witch. A dark one, perhaps. Plus, it directly related to me and the near future of zeusdeegoose as a whole, and I’ve done so in the past with my Binding of Isaac reviews. So humor me for a bit, or, if you’ve had your fill, feel free to click off, and I wish you a good day. For many people within my Discord and other related spaces, they knew that I was re-reviewing The Legend of Dark Witch series in it’s entirety; keyword, was, and I have to upsettingly say that said review series is now canceled. Many people don’t know about it, and I think that’s a good thing. It was a series that I used to play in the past, and me and a few friends have heavily criticized over the past few years. We also have a bit of bad blood within said community itself. We were talking about it again and how the developer sucked, practically beating it down as a farce of a franchise, mostly leaving the community stuff out of it as a whole. And while I still agree those remarks about the developer, one discussion got taken pretty far as I took a jab at one of the wiki’s vandals, and that spiraled into one of the members of the server leaving. Initially, I thought it was going to be a lighthearted joke, but it was pretty inappropriate of me and for those involved, I do apologize. I won’t extrapolate anything further at the behest of the people in said chat, as the server that the discussions were held within was a private venue, and I don’t wish to share any links so said server.
Secondly, after said conversation, I realized something huge. I didn’t NEED to re-review the series. I mean, what would I get out of it? Initially, the thought going in was that this would re-introduce people into zeusdeegoose’s past by re-reviewing what got the ball rolling for the long ass review format and to bury the hatchet for the final time, but here’s the thing. I already kind of did that. I had already archived my Wiki reviews on Backloggd, and notwithstanding the occasional bias, my criticisms of each game have still held up. So the newer reviews would just be... lesser. I don’t have the energy nor the time to discuss every stage in Dark Witch 2 again when that would go against the overall message of the review series; that being that The Legend of Dark Witch is a dogshit series, aside from 1 and 2, and I don’t think it’s worth potentially burning some bridges just to prove my point. Me and other friends have already long since moved on, and potentially bringing a lolicon back into the spotlight simply isn’t worth the effort that’d I’d put into it.
Thirdly, I got burnt out. Ladies and Gentlemen, I LOVE tearing apart games I hate, believe me. Super Meat Boy Forever is one of my favorite reviews that I’ve ever made. But I can only say “This game fucking sucks” so many times before getting tired, folks. And that’s just the review side. Imagine playing 8 games back to back, 99% of which are mid, and the 1% are games that I’ve burnt myself out on and already played for hundreds of hours already (not joking, btw). I didn’t hate myself for booting up The Binding of Isaac, because The Binding of Isaac is an actually GOOD video game that I like. Wow! But whenever I boot up any Dark Witch game, I just feel disappointed.
Fourthly, who cares? I could make point after point about why NAN-A and The Legend of Dark Witch suck, but it’s fruitless. The Legend of Dark Witch is far past it’s eShop era where it was actually semi-popular. Hell, I’d bet now that the games don’t even average a sale a day, with the 3DS eShop now gone. Now, only a very small, inactive fanbase remains. Ever since me and others left, it’s a complete GHOST TOWN. Nobody cares about it anymore. I’ve barely heard anyone in my online sphere talk about it, and it remains as a niche franchise, like it should be. People got their balls blown off with 1 and 2, and then almost all of us collectively fucked off afterwards because the games SUCKED and it wasn’t active anymore. Now that the dust has settled, it’d only serve to piss people off who still give a damn about the series anymore. And trust me, they WOULD get pissed. I’ve seen it firsthand. And as funny as it would be, I don't want to act as if I'm some villain or something.
So... yeah. That’s all I got to say on the matter. Sorry to anyone who was expecting the review, and sorry to anyone who was involved in the first incident. It was a flawed idea from the start, and I really don’t have anyone to blame for the reviews except myself. Now, for real this time, I’m burying the hatchet. No more of my valuable time will be spent on a video game franchise made by some jizzer. I may edit this out sooner or later, because truth be told, it’s mostly irrelevant to a game series with a funny meat man, but I just needed to get my thoughts out, off of my chest, and announce that the series is canceled, as disappointing as it may be. Finally, I still have all of my Dark Witch reviews in a Google Doc, so if you'd like to see them, whether that be out of curiosity or otherwise, come on over. ;) Shoot me a DM to @zeusdeegoose, either on Twitter or Discord. They’ll remain forever unfinished, but hey, if people wanted to know how it would've played out, they can come and see. But now, with all that being said, lets just move on to greener fields because I don’t know what else to talk about.
Sooooo... it might be too early, but it may be time to start another review series. I’ve been playing a wider variety of games than ever before. Old games, new games, and even bear games. I’ve had good games and bad games, but it’s true love that we share! So I do have quite a few on my mind that I want to do. Blaster Master Zero, Super Monkey Ball, and Devil May Cry are all on my mind. So, I hope you’re looking out for those because they’re probably coming soon. Blaster Master Zero will probably be first up, as I’ve finished all of them, and then Super Monkey Ball and DMC will follow soon after. Again, there may or may not be a bit of a drought when it comes to reviews thanks to the aforementioned cancellation, so apologies. But, zeusdeegoose always comes back stronger than it was. So please tune in, when it’s ready of course. But in the meantime, I’m going back to the Basement so I can type more reviews. If you’ve read this far, I really appreciate your support, but please go outside. It’s almost Summer now, and the sun is good for your skin and health. Don’t be like me. Or hell, play Super Meat Boy! You wont regret it.
Dr Fetus has kidnapped Bandage Girl. Save Bandage Girl! It’s as simple as it gets. Well, what about the controls? You run, jump, and that’s it. So, where’s the fun? The controls. I firmly believe that Super Meat Boy has the best controls of any platformer released to date. Meat Boy is incredibly fast, while also having a floaty jump. Normally I’d say that this is bad for most games, but Super Meat Boy makes it work. All of the levels are designed with this high speed and floatiness in mind, stretching the controls to the furthest possibility. It’s most noticeable in the much later levels, but even then, this attention to detail is present in earlier levels. It makes the game feel truly limitless, by allowing you to speed through the levels, having an extremely high skill ceiling down to the very frame. It’s a bit unwieldy, but once you master it, it feels like you can do anything. And do everything you shall, because there's a catch. It’s called SUPER for a reason. Super Meat Boy is considered among the hardest platformers, and for good reason. It’s a relentlessly difficult game, doubly so for 100%, but that’s where the beauty of the game lies within. Sure, you may retry a dozen times just to unlock the Dark World level, but by all accounts, the game pushes you to that mastery by rewarding you for overcoming challenges. It wants you to succeed. It’s difficult, but fair, and one of the most rewarding to conquer. The levels all feel distinctive from one another, and each individual one teaches the player a different lesson throughout their short runtimes. The level progression of Super Meat Boy is nothing but incredible. It introduces a gimmick in one level, and each level builds upon it. And then suddenly, another gimmick pops up. And then another, and another, and another, until you’re working with all of the mechanics before you even know it. And then the Dark World version of the level shows how much better you can get with said mechanics. No gimmick feels underutilized, nor unfun and cheap, and no level feels forgettable at all. It emphasizes how strong the whole game’s design is. And if you really want a challenge, you can always go for the Bandages! The bandages of Super Meat Boy force you to master the level to even get a shot at them. Getting them is the easier part. Surviving is harder. If you so much as graze a saw with these babies, you lose the bandage, but succeed and the game proudly announces that you got the bandage. It's a feeling like no other. I had my shit absolutely rocked throughout the entirety of Super Meat Boy 100%. Getting the bandages really made me feel like I accomplished something, both in a metaphorical and literal sense, as unlocking bandages allows you to play as brand new characters.
Akin to The Binding of Isaac, all characters cover a specific niche. Meat Boy is your main man, with all of the levels designed for him first and foremost. The others give you entirely new platforming abilities, but typically have a stipulation, like for example, Commander Video. He gets a short float, but is pretty slow compared to Meat Boy. There's about 10 characters overall, a few of which require a secret code to be inputed. The cool thing about it is that most characters come from other indie games, making Super Meat Boy feel more like a video game which proves how far indie games have come. Even more interestingly, the console and PC versions of the game has different characters within them, each accommodating the difference in the Indie scene on PC and Consoles. The Warp Zones themselves have the same characters, so Commander Video from Bit.Trip, Jill from… Mighty Jill Off, Ogmo from Jumper, the titular character, Flywrench, and The Kid from I Wanna Be The Guy are all here and accounted for. Meanwhile, Gish, Tim, Guy Spelunky, Pink Knight, and The Ninja are console exclusive, while Headcrab, Alien Hominid, Josef, Naija, RunMan, Captain Viridian, and MR. MINECRAFT, are all exclusive to PC. In the end, it doesn't really matter which version you play, but it kind of sucks that we never got some Super Meat Boy Definitive Edition with all of the characters from both versions, but in general, the balance of characters is very solid. While The Kid is among the best characters in the game for the best double jump in the game, he is a lot slower and jumps lower than Meat Boy. And also, in order to even get him, you need to complete the 3 hardest levels in the game, back to back.
This is a perfect transition into talking about the bane of my existence. GOLDEN GOD. Is actually really fun! Super Meat Boy will take you about a weekend to complete, but GOLDEN GOD could take upwards of a month to achieve. I played on-and-off ad nauseam over the course of a year, amd Golden God completely transforms Super Meat Boy as a game. In order to achieve Golden God, you need to
- Clear all 7 Light Worlds, with an A+ Rank
- Clear all 7 Dark Worlds (aka X worlds), harder versions of the Light World, but no A+ ranks are needed
- Obtain all 100 Bandages
- Unlock every Character
- Clear all Warp Zones, sets of 3 bite sized levels with 3 lives per level
- Clear all Glitch levels (technically optional but adds to 100%)
So... yeah, any completionist certainly has their work cut out for them. The Dark Worlds alone nearly broke me, but damn did I pop off when I cleared every one of them. Chapters 1, 2, 3, and 6 are pretty manageable when it comes to their challenge, but I genuinely contemplated quitting the entire operation at World 4X. I was 100%ing each World at about 1 or 2 per day, but 4X threw off my flow by a lot. It took me about 3 days to fully beat it alone, and 5X only got more and more challenging. 5X is among the most challenging worlds in the entire game. Each level was a challenging contraption made with only the most difficult platforming setpieces in the entire game. But each time I died, the music always brought me coming back for more!
Super Meat Boy’s soundtrack is legendary, no doubt about it. Some of the most Newgrounds esque shit that you can imagine, but it’s some of that good shit nonetheless. Forest Funk was stuck in my head for months once I first conquered Super Meat Boy, Beatus Blues is an incredibly catchy tune. Can O’ Salt is a Minecraft song (described by one of my IRLs), Hell feels grand and imposing, and The Rapture feels like a goddamn military tune. The End is weirdly cinematic but also really good, and CHAPTER MOTHERFUCKING 7!
Chapter 7 is where my 100% streak really died off. I completed 5 levels a DAY at this point. There are no bandages, no warp zones, nothing. Just you, your controller, and Bandage Girl. Yeah, for Chapter 7 alone, you get to play as Bandage Girl. And these levels aren’t among the most difficult in the game, they ARE the most difficult in the game. Don’t let the happy music and overabundance of pink fool you. The Cotton Alley has some of the most pseudo-pixel perfect shit that you can imagine, but once again, it’s HARD but FAIR. I never wanted to ragequit because the game wasn’t unfair. It’s one of the hardest 2D platforming levels ever made, but one of the best. Every single piece of tech that the game taught you comes back for a spectacular finale, and a spectacular finale that is. This all culminates in the HARDEST level I’ve ever beaten. “The Four Letter Word” is IMPOSSIBLE. It’s 1 minute of straight pixel perfect platforming, easily the hardest level in the game, and it was 11 PM. I was in my room alone, with only the bright visuals of the Cotton Alley keeping me awake. But I was determined. And it took over a very long time, but after an hour, I saw Meat Boy. I was at the goal. I made the final jump, and dropped my controller. I was so satisfied, but I knew that was only half the battle. So, I got a good night’s rest, knowing that the following day would be hell.
Or was it? I powered through Cotton Alleys’ Dark World like it was nothing. I was Meat Boy. I felt the heaviness on my heart each time he died, but each victory kept me coming back for more and more. I crushed half of the levels like soda cans. But the remaining few pushed me past my breaking point. And with 4 levels to go, with just me and the game, I received... Golden God??? Welp, that was fun! Yeah, not sure why the achievement unlocked early, but I decided to leave it at that. But as the final completion reward, you unlock the Meat Ninja, who always runs and can teleport through sawblades after pressing X. You can’t use the leaderboards with him, but it’s a solid reward for 100%.
Super Meat Boy is a masterclass of game design, being one of the best platformers ever made. It has over 300 handcrafted levels, all of which test the player’s skills in the best way possible. It’s one of those pick up and play games, where you can play and clear a few levels, or complete the entire game in a sitting. It’s a fun game, to put it simply, and I can’t recommend it enough, now that the XBLA store is shutting down. Rest In Peace, but long live Steam. Welp. What is there to to cover now?
MYSELF. Yeah, I know this is pretty out of scope to cover in a controversial platforming series with a silly cube of meat, but I wanted to talk about another controversial platforming series with a Witch. A dark one, perhaps. Plus, it directly related to me and the near future of zeusdeegoose as a whole, and I’ve done so in the past with my Binding of Isaac reviews. So humor me for a bit, or, if you’ve had your fill, feel free to click off, and I wish you a good day. For many people within my Discord and other related spaces, they knew that I was re-reviewing The Legend of Dark Witch series in it’s entirety; keyword, was, and I have to upsettingly say that said review series is now canceled. Many people don’t know about it, and I think that’s a good thing. It was a series that I used to play in the past, and me and a few friends have heavily criticized over the past few years. We also have a bit of bad blood within said community itself. We were talking about it again and how the developer sucked, practically beating it down as a farce of a franchise, mostly leaving the community stuff out of it as a whole. And while I still agree those remarks about the developer, one discussion got taken pretty far as I took a jab at one of the wiki’s vandals, and that spiraled into one of the members of the server leaving. Initially, I thought it was going to be a lighthearted joke, but it was pretty inappropriate of me and for those involved, I do apologize. I won’t extrapolate anything further at the behest of the people in said chat, as the server that the discussions were held within was a private venue, and I don’t wish to share any links so said server.
Secondly, after said conversation, I realized something huge. I didn’t NEED to re-review the series. I mean, what would I get out of it? Initially, the thought going in was that this would re-introduce people into zeusdeegoose’s past by re-reviewing what got the ball rolling for the long ass review format and to bury the hatchet for the final time, but here’s the thing. I already kind of did that. I had already archived my Wiki reviews on Backloggd, and notwithstanding the occasional bias, my criticisms of each game have still held up. So the newer reviews would just be... lesser. I don’t have the energy nor the time to discuss every stage in Dark Witch 2 again when that would go against the overall message of the review series; that being that The Legend of Dark Witch is a dogshit series, aside from 1 and 2, and I don’t think it’s worth potentially burning some bridges just to prove my point. Me and other friends have already long since moved on, and potentially bringing a lolicon back into the spotlight simply isn’t worth the effort that’d I’d put into it.
Thirdly, I got burnt out. Ladies and Gentlemen, I LOVE tearing apart games I hate, believe me. Super Meat Boy Forever is one of my favorite reviews that I’ve ever made. But I can only say “This game fucking sucks” so many times before getting tired, folks. And that’s just the review side. Imagine playing 8 games back to back, 99% of which are mid, and the 1% are games that I’ve burnt myself out on and already played for hundreds of hours already (not joking, btw). I didn’t hate myself for booting up The Binding of Isaac, because The Binding of Isaac is an actually GOOD video game that I like. Wow! But whenever I boot up any Dark Witch game, I just feel disappointed.
Fourthly, who cares? I could make point after point about why NAN-A and The Legend of Dark Witch suck, but it’s fruitless. The Legend of Dark Witch is far past it’s eShop era where it was actually semi-popular. Hell, I’d bet now that the games don’t even average a sale a day, with the 3DS eShop now gone. Now, only a very small, inactive fanbase remains. Ever since me and others left, it’s a complete GHOST TOWN. Nobody cares about it anymore. I’ve barely heard anyone in my online sphere talk about it, and it remains as a niche franchise, like it should be. People got their balls blown off with 1 and 2, and then almost all of us collectively fucked off afterwards because the games SUCKED and it wasn’t active anymore. Now that the dust has settled, it’d only serve to piss people off who still give a damn about the series anymore. And trust me, they WOULD get pissed. I’ve seen it firsthand. And as funny as it would be, I don't want to act as if I'm some villain or something.
So... yeah. That’s all I got to say on the matter. Sorry to anyone who was expecting the review, and sorry to anyone who was involved in the first incident. It was a flawed idea from the start, and I really don’t have anyone to blame for the reviews except myself. Now, for real this time, I’m burying the hatchet. No more of my valuable time will be spent on a video game franchise made by some jizzer. I may edit this out sooner or later, because truth be told, it’s mostly irrelevant to a game series with a funny meat man, but I just needed to get my thoughts out, off of my chest, and announce that the series is canceled, as disappointing as it may be. Finally, I still have all of my Dark Witch reviews in a Google Doc, so if you'd like to see them, whether that be out of curiosity or otherwise, come on over. ;) Shoot me a DM to @zeusdeegoose, either on Twitter or Discord. They’ll remain forever unfinished, but hey, if people wanted to know how it would've played out, they can come and see. But now, with all that being said, lets just move on to greener fields because I don’t know what else to talk about.
Sooooo... it might be too early, but it may be time to start another review series. I’ve been playing a wider variety of games than ever before. Old games, new games, and even bear games. I’ve had good games and bad games, but it’s true love that we share! So I do have quite a few on my mind that I want to do. Blaster Master Zero, Super Monkey Ball, and Devil May Cry are all on my mind. So, I hope you’re looking out for those because they’re probably coming soon. Blaster Master Zero will probably be first up, as I’ve finished all of them, and then Super Monkey Ball and DMC will follow soon after. Again, there may or may not be a bit of a drought when it comes to reviews thanks to the aforementioned cancellation, so apologies. But, zeusdeegoose always comes back stronger than it was. So please tune in, when it’s ready of course. But in the meantime, I’m going back to the Basement so I can type more reviews. If you’ve read this far, I really appreciate your support, but please go outside. It’s almost Summer now, and the sun is good for your skin and health. Don’t be like me. Or hell, play Super Meat Boy! You wont regret it.
I don't trust anyone who says this game has good controls
fuck celeste
I despise playing this so far. The worst and least responsive 2D platformer I think I've ever played.
Finished and yeah it's lame asf. Glad we have better 2D platformers like Celeste now.
Finished and yeah it's lame asf. Glad we have better 2D platformers like Celeste now.
It's interesting going back to this to see what does and doesn't hold up well about it. I'm playing it coming off the back of replaying Celeste, which is all around just a much better game, and certainly didn't help the case for Meat Boy. I think the most core problem is that the movement here feels good to go fast when it's working out, but the slipperiness and inconsistency of it becomes very frustrating in harder levels. That combined with the type of difficulty used in the later level design makes for a pretty bad time. I breezed through the first couple of worlds and felt like it was holding up pretty well to my memory, even if it does have a few too many filler levels. The later levels don't feel like they're demanding mastery over the controls and moveset though so much as making you fight against it, and introducing gimmicky mechanics that don't feel fun or consistent. Having to hold jump for just the right amount of frames coming out of a wall slide at a certain speed so you have just the right amount of momentum so that you can make it through a tiny gap between sawblades isn't fun. Now make a dozen jumps that precise on some of the later levels.
It's not just that it's difficult, as I mentioned replaying Celeste recently, that game gets more fun as it gets more difficult, because your moveset in it feels reliable and like you can replicate any movement consistently, and the levels feel designed around it and not against it. That's the part of this game that makes it feel really dated to me. There are older platformers out there that still feel good but it's a certain type of difficulty in design from around this time, mostly popularized by this game, that I just don't have much patience for these days.
For some side notes, the instant respawn and the end of level replay system are really good, and more games should have both of those. I didn't go for many of the collectibles or side content this playthrough, as I did already do all of them back in the day but they also felt like leaning even more into that style of difficulty I dislike. What little story and humor there is also feels very dated.
Overall, I dunno, this seems a little harsh. I did enjoy this when I originally played it and it did help bring pure platformers back into popularity, but now there's so many others you can and should go play before this.
It's not just that it's difficult, as I mentioned replaying Celeste recently, that game gets more fun as it gets more difficult, because your moveset in it feels reliable and like you can replicate any movement consistently, and the levels feel designed around it and not against it. That's the part of this game that makes it feel really dated to me. There are older platformers out there that still feel good but it's a certain type of difficulty in design from around this time, mostly popularized by this game, that I just don't have much patience for these days.
For some side notes, the instant respawn and the end of level replay system are really good, and more games should have both of those. I didn't go for many of the collectibles or side content this playthrough, as I did already do all of them back in the day but they also felt like leaning even more into that style of difficulty I dislike. What little story and humor there is also feels very dated.
Overall, I dunno, this seems a little harsh. I did enjoy this when I originally played it and it did help bring pure platformers back into popularity, but now there's so many others you can and should go play before this.
Completely irrelevant (but incredibly fun) fact: I watched Indie Game: The Movie, the documentary about the making of this game and FEZ, about a decade before playing SMB itself.
Does Super Meat Boy live up to the hype? I’m inclined to say no. I understand why it’s historically important – it helped ignite the indie boom of the 2010s – but playing it in 2022 I found it was often more frustrating than fun.
Meat Boy is a tad bit slippery, just like Mario, and slides across surfaces like they’re glazed with a thin layer of ice. Seeing as he’s continually drenched in own blood, Meat Boy has a defensible excuse for his slipperiness. But that leads me to wonder: What’s Mario’s deal? Extreme perspiration? Moisturizer addiction? Maybe he’s just a literal grease monkey? The world may never know.
Playing Super Meat Boy to completion reminded me how fickle opinions can be. As I struggled to pass the final levels, I could feel my provisional opinion of the game slowly creep upward. Why? Human brains hate cognitive dissonance, and mine was trying to justify why I was making such a heroic effort to beat this annoying bugger of a game! It was struggling balance deeply considered yet entirely contradictory thoughts such as “This game suckz” and “Must win the game (for great justice)”.
Finish it I did. Return for more punishment in Bandage Girl’s levels and the Dark World I will not. Play it, should you? Sure, you could play it. Or you could instead play a classic like Shovel Knight, or Mega Man X4, or one of the hundreds of other precision platformers that have come out over the last decade. If you dig hard enough, you’re sure to find dozens, if not hundreds, that are more fun and less sadistic than this one.
Does Super Meat Boy live up to the hype? I’m inclined to say no. I understand why it’s historically important – it helped ignite the indie boom of the 2010s – but playing it in 2022 I found it was often more frustrating than fun.
Meat Boy is a tad bit slippery, just like Mario, and slides across surfaces like they’re glazed with a thin layer of ice. Seeing as he’s continually drenched in own blood, Meat Boy has a defensible excuse for his slipperiness. But that leads me to wonder: What’s Mario’s deal? Extreme perspiration? Moisturizer addiction? Maybe he’s just a literal grease monkey? The world may never know.
Playing Super Meat Boy to completion reminded me how fickle opinions can be. As I struggled to pass the final levels, I could feel my provisional opinion of the game slowly creep upward. Why? Human brains hate cognitive dissonance, and mine was trying to justify why I was making such a heroic effort to beat this annoying bugger of a game! It was struggling balance deeply considered yet entirely contradictory thoughts such as “This game suckz” and “Must win the game (for great justice)”.
Finish it I did. Return for more punishment in Bandage Girl’s levels and the Dark World I will not. Play it, should you? Sure, you could play it. Or you could instead play a classic like Shovel Knight, or Mega Man X4, or one of the hundreds of other precision platformers that have come out over the last decade. If you dig hard enough, you’re sure to find dozens, if not hundreds, that are more fun and less sadistic than this one.
I keep trying to play through and finish this but unlike Ori and the Blind Forest and Celeste, there's always something that stops me from sticking all the way through. Maybe it's because so much of the game focuses on sheer speed and dodging obstacles rather than more complex movement mechanics (such as Celeste's dash or Ori's bash) and Meat Boy is both simultaneously super fast yet filled with a million things that can instantly kill you in one shot. I've referred to this as the "monkey in a cage" hypothesis where instead of varying the movement and techniques, they just throw more obstacles at you. To me, this made Super Meat Boy feel like a grindfest where I'm bashing my head against the same level over and over again rather than really enjoying executing the movement. I really respect this game and the soundtrack is phenomenal, but it's not my cup of tea anymore, and that saddens me a little. Maybe I'll just play it on and off and see how far that gets me.
I always try to limit my 5 stars to really special games, that i truly love, so I was really wondering whether Super Meat Boy deserved it. I believed that the more frustrating parts of the game (omega) held it back, but really, they make it better.
The absolute relief when you finally finish a hard level is unmatched, but at the same time, trying to finish one isn't boring in the slightest, each time you die, you want to do better on the next try, which is made better with instant respawns. But even with that, it doesn't make the game easy. There are no assist options, or encouraging words to keep you going. All there is are you, the game, and your own sheer fucking determination.
The absolute relief when you finally finish a hard level is unmatched, but at the same time, trying to finish one isn't boring in the slightest, each time you die, you want to do better on the next try, which is made better with instant respawns. But even with that, it doesn't make the game easy. There are no assist options, or encouraging words to keep you going. All there is are you, the game, and your own sheer fucking determination.
Plays just as disgustingly as it looks
The amount of red I saw.
i sat down, i played, i witnessed some of the tightest controls to ever be in a 2D platformer, i played some of the most ball breaking levels i will ever witness, beat it 100%, came buckets.
A very challenging game yet a satisfying experience. I highly recommend this one. The controls are simple, but very precise and responsive, providing super challenging gameplay with the levels themselves that won’t hold you back, and you will die plenty of times. Thankfully, it isn’t so frustrating due to the near-perfect controls once again, but the levels are also very short, which does make the sense of that “I want to try this one more time” mentality to not feel exhausted when running & jumping each level. The visuals evoke a sense of nostalgia, reminiscent of the old days spent playing on Newgrounds and playing so many fever dreams for me.
Indie Game: The Movie (2012) made me appreciate this more. It's a very unique platformer but the gameplay is just irritating to me.
An excersice in frustration.
Run and Jump game, speedy platformer. It's a bit frustrating becauese of the physics and the overall movement of the character which is very floaty and slippery.
Once you get the hang of it, it's still hard.
Run and Jump game, speedy platformer. It's a bit frustrating becauese of the physics and the overall movement of the character which is very floaty and slippery.
Once you get the hang of it, it's still hard.
Not really that difficult platformer that doesn't use the most out of its mechanics as it could and instead over time goes more on basic puzzle level design than really functioning as a solid Kaizo challenge. An alright once and done series of quick platforming puzzles that controls well but tacks on not very complementary gimmicks, and can reasonably be finished within a few hours and then tossed in a "well i guess that was ok" pile.
show this to any pro lifer to make them understand ultimate rage against fetuses
Super Meat Boy has influenced countless games, pioneered the indie movement and was once the face of indie’s alike. Originally a small flash game on Newgrounds turned into a full fledged cross platform release.
I cant say I particularly loved Super Meat Boy. At times movement and levels are fun, with tough times to beat and hidden collectables scattered about. Rewards for beating par times and bonus levels give a variety of reference gimmick characters and secret harder stages. However the sheer difficulty is a huge wall to pass and one hundred precenting the game I would consider impossible for myself.
My completion of Super Meat Boy comes with a slight caveat due to a game breaking bug. On the final level of the game I faced a bug that completely prevents me from finishing the game and defeating the final boss. It turns out that this has been a known issue on some versions of the game since 2012. (Why this still isn't fixed I do not know)
With that in mind I did enjoy some of my time playing Super Meat Boy but because of this issue and the huge skill ceiling I think it may be best left in the past.
I cant say I particularly loved Super Meat Boy. At times movement and levels are fun, with tough times to beat and hidden collectables scattered about. Rewards for beating par times and bonus levels give a variety of reference gimmick characters and secret harder stages. However the sheer difficulty is a huge wall to pass and one hundred precenting the game I would consider impossible for myself.
My completion of Super Meat Boy comes with a slight caveat due to a game breaking bug. On the final level of the game I faced a bug that completely prevents me from finishing the game and defeating the final boss. It turns out that this has been a known issue on some versions of the game since 2012. (Why this still isn't fixed I do not know)
With that in mind I did enjoy some of my time playing Super Meat Boy but because of this issue and the huge skill ceiling I think it may be best left in the past.
a game that i respect a whole hell of a lot more than i actually like. it's extremely demanding and challenging; i can't deny that it looks beautiful when you watch someone speedrun it. that said, i am dogshit at precision platformers and trying to 100% this game pushed me to my limit. i eventually caved and stopped around the fifth world. again, a very tightly designed game with a lot of love behind it, but i have no interest in ever revisiting it, mostly for the sake of my sanity.
guy 1: "bro, like, what if our protagonist was, like... a MEATBALL, dude?? like literally just MEAT"
guy 2: "bro ur FUCKING crazy ur so fuckin UNHINGED that's so random and funny lol. god i love you bro no homo but please suck me off"
guy 1: "okay okay but hear me out... also, WHAT IF... we made the game super fuckin hard, like vein-burstingly tough..."
guy 2: "okay, okay. aaand...?"
guy 1: "aaaand we made it super fuckin repetitive and also the player can only run and jump. like LITERALLY only run and jump, that's it. nothing else."
guy 2: "BRO that's fuckin BRILLIANT, literal GALAXY BRAIN right here. if we make the game super hard and super repetitive with a super limited control scheme that forces the player to complete bullshit stages in only one way or no way at all... fuuuuck, dude, we barely have to TRY. you are so fucking smart you immaculate Adonis"
guy 1: "also what if the villain was called dr. fetus and he's literally just a fetus lol CRAZY right"
guy 2: "dude that's so funny lol. we should make an adult swim show"
guy 2: "bro ur FUCKING crazy ur so fuckin UNHINGED that's so random and funny lol. god i love you bro no homo but please suck me off"
guy 1: "okay okay but hear me out... also, WHAT IF... we made the game super fuckin hard, like vein-burstingly tough..."
guy 2: "okay, okay. aaand...?"
guy 1: "aaaand we made it super fuckin repetitive and also the player can only run and jump. like LITERALLY only run and jump, that's it. nothing else."
guy 2: "BRO that's fuckin BRILLIANT, literal GALAXY BRAIN right here. if we make the game super hard and super repetitive with a super limited control scheme that forces the player to complete bullshit stages in only one way or no way at all... fuuuuck, dude, we barely have to TRY. you are so fucking smart you immaculate Adonis"
guy 1: "also what if the villain was called dr. fetus and he's literally just a fetus lol CRAZY right"
guy 2: "dude that's so funny lol. we should make an adult swim show"
when i was 14 instead of focusing on any of my classes at high school i would literally just speedrun this all day, and one time a kid bet me $8 that i couldn't finish the first 50 or so levels in under 5 minutes or something like that, which i proceeded to do easily. he paid me the money, in a big ziploc bag of eighty 10c coins. later after school i tried to knick a tiramisu out of the fridge of a nearby cafe, but got caught by the manager on the way out. he told me to pay for it. coincidentally, the tiramisu also cost $8. few things have stuck in my mind over the years than the look on that guy's face when i produced the ziploc bag. he ordered me to sit, and proceeded to count out each individual coin. i don't know what i should take away from this memory, other than the knowledge that i was a dirtbag kid back then, and also that that was the exact moment my speedrunning career ended just as it had started. anyway, good game
i'll never understand how this game got so popular
Eu tenho muito respeito à história de Super Meat Boy em relação aos jogos indies. Mas depois de ter largado ele pela metade uns anos atrás e resolver jogar até terminar dessa vez, é difícil pra mim apreciar o que ele faz nos mundos finais em relação ao desafio. Gosto dos diversos segredos e fases extras espalhados pelo jogo, mas conforme as fases vão ficando maiores e mais complexas tudo num geral parece pior, mesmo a arte nos últimos mundos é bem desinteressante. Depois de algumas centenas de mortes consegui passar o chefe final e fiquei satisfeito, mesmo tendo mais conteúdo disponível depois disso.
a well designed indie platformer that's partially responsible for the sea of shitty pixel games we see released every 5 minutes now
One of the greatest 2d platformers and indie games of all time to this day. Its tight and difficult gameplay is so addictive. Finding the way to beat the challenging levels over constant deaths never felt so satisfying. The soundtrack also keeps me pretty hype. The game is uber charming and I love the artstyle and aesthetic. The way each and every level is so intricately designed still amazes me to this day. Also the replay that shows you all your runs of the level makes me feel more satisfied that I finally beat the level. The satisfaction I get from playing this game is almost second to none. This is probably my favorite between this and Isaac but both are masterpieces in their own ways. I'll say I still probably slightly prefer Mario 3 but this comes close to best platformers ever.
Mid-2000's stoner humor packed into an artificially difficult platformer : apparently that's what the indie world wanted back in 2010 because Super Meat Boy exploded in popularity.
But that didn't mean it was any good. Honestly the characters alone are enough for this to not get a great rating. I'll give it 2 stars for briefly making tough platforming popular again.
But that didn't mean it was any good. Honestly the characters alone are enough for this to not get a great rating. I'll give it 2 stars for briefly making tough platforming popular again.
Fun, but too hard and frustrating at times.
I tried. Got to the hell world and at that point, it felt like a slog to go through and not worth it with so many better challenging games requiring mechanical skill out there. I tried and gave this game a fair shot in my opinion.
Timings sometimes are pixel perfect (i.e. no creativity), unresponsive controls due to lack of buffering or correct input handling, grating music, meh art style, and a ;_; story.
I tried completing earlier levels and gaining bandages, which just asperated my above criticism.
Timings sometimes are pixel perfect (i.e. no creativity), unresponsive controls due to lack of buffering or correct input handling, grating music, meh art style, and a ;_; story.
I tried completing earlier levels and gaining bandages, which just asperated my above criticism.
Incredible 2d indie platformer with some really hard levels and the most amazing soundtrack by Danny Baranowski. Avoid buying this game on the Switch tough as there is only the "new" soundtrack available which is unbearably terrible and does not fit at all.
Hurt my hands
I don't love it, but I respect it. It leans a bit too much in to the difficulty, but I always criticize games for being too easy so I can't complain. It's really satisfying to pull off each level, but on a moment to moment basis it's a bit repetitive. I am glad it lets you restart so instantaneously, as it would be insufferable otherwise. This is also a negative, though, as the game doesn't flow very well. It's a lot of high highs and low lows in terms of the pace. Getting stuck somewhere for minutes on end can be frustrating.