Reviews from

in the past


Damn this game could have been so much more. Just like Ryse: Son of Rome, from a graphical standpoint, the game looks amazing, better than most games today.
The Order: 1886 is set in an alternative Victorian 1886 with retro-futuristic steampunk atmosphere and fantasy/horror elements like Werewolves, Lycans and Vampires.
The story was good, i liked the Knights of the round table stuff and i liked Sir Galahad. The gameplay was also good, i liked the shooting and the futuristic weapons. Overall, the game geels great and the story does its job, I dont have many bad things to talk about The Order but... why the hell is it so short? It takes like 6 hours to finish it and that's not enough for this kind of game with such a good potential, also they charged a lot for this one, the price was unjustified and wasn't worth it.
Maybe if there was a sequel, I would overlook the length of the game and it wouldn't be a problem anymore, but i wanted to see more of The Order. Its a shame really.
This is one of the games that had potential but it was never fulfilled. I would sacrifice franchises like idk Horizon or a new Uncharted for a new The Order but that's just me:))) i find The Order more interesting, more of 'my cup of tea'.

I'm so tired of the SLANDER.....i would sacrifice the entire Horizon franchise for a sequel. So much potential, albeit marred by the trends of gaming at the time. Order1886chads we will rise again

The villain has the most "yeah this guy is definitely gonna betray me" face of all time. Some decent ideas and relatively fun gameplay but very forgettable with an awful ending

I gave it an honest shot. When I talk down to “oscar-bait games” in my other reviews, this is the main thing I’m talking about. A mindless, overly linear, four hour long, shooting gallery campaign with bare minimum weapon and enemy variety, QTEs that you can’t even lose and so little player agency that it might as well be a rail shooter. A story so uninspired, cliché and full of itself, going so far as to rip off Blade Runner’s tears in the rain scene at one point, one that leaves none of it’s loose ends tied up by the end of it and has the audacity to bait a sequel (which is probably never going to happen). It doesn’t even really do it’s steampunk-Van Helsing premise justice, just plain old 1880s with assault rifles and the occassional werewolf QTE. It’s a functional game, sure, but it’s so joyless, risk adverse, up it’s own ass. I’d be pretty pissed off if I paid more than $5 for it.

Infamous: Second Son died for this.


ah-hooo!

what if the 1% truly were a secret race of reverse vampires who are literally feasting on the lower class? baby, the order 1886 says just maybe they are.

and it says it with a completely straight face. no shed of irony and playfulness. and i can see how, if you're coming to a piece of fiction that clearly has so much of itself steeped in an absurd genre premise, maybe you want something more like devil may cry.

but what i appreciate about the order 1886 - beyond the fact that it might the single most expensive looking game i've ever played, like it still looks better than just about any game made since - is that it's the inverse of uncharted. almost identical gameplay and camera. maybe order 1886 is a little heavier, a little more meaty and visceral. maybe it's gunplay is a whole level above anything naughty dog have managed to pull off. but instead of taking the real word and adding in quips and the supernatural, the order shoves you in to an alternate steampunk history full of werewolves (who you knife fight) and then removes all the genre personality. it winds up feeling like a story about real people in a lived-in world where things matter as opposed to just action movie archetypes parading through a pirates of the caribbean movie set. it also has two NPCs who show their dicks.

i like uncharted a lot. but gaming is full of uncharteds. it doubles down on uncharteds every day. sony in particular would spend the following years making technically impressive and visually pretty yet soft-hearted open world checklist games that go on and on (see: spidey, horizon, days gone, tsushima). where are the punchy, poe-faced linear narrative games? where are the games that have the balls to show you some dicks every few hours, interspersed between werewolf knife-fights? there is no AAA gaming equivalent to deadwood. this ain't that either. but it's sort of close, and was definitely a step in that direction. shame it's basically the black sheep of sony's ps4 first-party lineup. gaming would be marginally better today taking notes from this.

The Order me surpreendeu. Eu não dava nada pra ele já que o game nunca foi visto de forma totalmente positiva. Mas já digo que eu gostei. Gostei da proposta, dos personagens, da ambientação (eu sou cadelinha de Londres Vitoriana, tem como não) e gosto da ambição que a Ready at Dawn teve. Mas faltou ainda mais ambição e faltou a coragem de ousar.

Chega a ser bizarro pensar o quanto esse game, que é de 9 anos atrás, é mais bonito que muita coisa que tá saindo hoje pro PS5. E se os gráficos são lindos agora, imagina na época. Gosto da decisão artística de manter a gameplay em widescreen pra dar um aspecto cinematográfico. Achei que combina com o game e dá a sensação de estar jogando algo de uma geração avançada de consoles. Tudo é impecável: movimentação, animação facial, tudo. Mirar e atirar é gostoso e em vários momentos de ação me vi envolvido no que estava rolando.

Mas, como eu disse, acho que a desenvolvedora ficou com medo de ousar. A gameplay é simples demais, acho que poderia envolver em escala maior outros aspectos da gameplay como a exploração, puzzles e por aí vai. Ainda mais porque no quesito exploração você só encontra itens que pouco acrescentam a história, parecem mais um monte de quinquilharias jogadas pelo mapa. Também acho que erraram muito em limitar a gameplay. Em vários momentos a gameplay de alguns capítulos é só andar e pronto. Já corta pra outro. Eu queria mais tarefas dentro da Ordem, entender melhor o funcionamento. Alguma coisa que envolvesse tarefas que não a ação, sabe?

E acho que o maior pecado desse jogo é a campanha em si. A história não é inovadora e joga no safe, mas mesmo assim não deixa de ser boa e de entregar um Plot Twist satisfatório. O problema é: é tudo muito rápido. Essa história, os personagens, os lobisomens, os vampiros. São aspectos jogados e pouco explicados. A campanha precisava ser mais extensa pra que esses e outros pontos fossem melhor desenvolvidos. Seja em diálogos ou em missões que não de tiroteio para expandir mais a lore do jogo e o universo em que ele se passa. E embora em diversos momentos a trama assuma um tom até épico de certa forma e se encaminhe nesse tom pro seu final, ele entrega uma batalha final sem graça e um final abrupto, que não compensa a história e te dá um banho de água fria. Ainda tem uma cena pós crédito jogada que também não serve de muita coisa.

The Order: 1886 é mais um daqueles jogos com um potencial e feitos enormes. E ainda que o lado positivo dele se destaque, ele deixa aquela grande sensação de quero mais e a sensação do "e se". Quero mais justamente porque o final abrupto te deixa querendo saber mais do que aconteceu depois, o que o Galahad vai fazer agora, o que aconteceu com o vilão do Plot Twist, como a Ordem se manteve após os acontecimentos. E o campo do "e se" se atrela a isso também: e se o game tivesse sido mais desenvolvido? E se eles tivessem tido a coragem de criar algo de escopo maior que fizesse jus a todos os outros aspectos espetaculares do game?

The Order é um game que poderia ter sido grandioso, mas se manteve pequeno por causa da desenvolvedora que talvez não tenha tido coragem ou cacife pra sustentar a proposta que criou. Por causa da recepção morna uma sequência talvez nunca venha, o que é uma pena. Queria muito ver o Galahad e seus companheiros batalhando as criaturas e queria muito um tempo maior na Londres Vitoriana.

This stings a bit because there was a lot of potential found in this game. The Order 1886 starts off relatively strong despite many things going against it. The aspect ratio, motion blur, stupid film grain, and obvious game engine trickery meant to cover up glaring flaws in its systems are only the tip of the iceberg.

The Order 1886 - outside of its bog-standard gameplay loop - introduces a litany of writing-related issues that completely crumble a narrative that helmed a strong start. It only takes a few chapters of this game to really show its true colors; a derivative "cinematic" game that takes gameplay structures from Gears of War, melding it with a Victorian-era story, full of fantastical elements that weirdly clash with each other, while additionally ripping off the general plot format and even whole scene ideas from popular films.

The Order 1886 has no soul, and that's what stings about it. There's nothing that really screams passion outside of the visuals, and even then, they're presented at a major cost to technical performance and ugly post-processing effects ala Killzone 2.

The Order 1886 é, no mínimo, surpreendente: joguei ele esperando por um jogo mediano, sem muitas expectativas e a minha experiência foi bem mais incrível do que eu esperava; é um jogo excelente.

Apesar de ser um jogo relativamente curto, possui uma história interessante que mesmo com o leve deslize de começar em ritmo lento, ainda é capaz de se desenvolver muito bem no decorrer da trama. Sua ambientação na belíssima Londres, na era vitoriana com a sua arquitetura gótica, foi outro ponto fortíssimo que me encantou do início ao fim e me trouxe lembranças de Bloodborne, apesar dessa ser a única semelhança entre ambos. Sua jogabilidade também é ótima, apesar de não trazer nada fora dos padrões playstation; com a movimentação e as gunfights lembrando muito Uncharted 4.

Como ponto negativo, fica registrado o uso excessivo de QTEs e a falta de variação de boss fights e a forma como elas são encaradas: não chega a ser ruim, mas sinto que o jogo poderia ter brilhado ainda mais se tivesse desenvolvido melhor isso.

Por fim, eis a conclusão: The Order 1886 é uma gema escondida no baú de exclusivos do PS4. Dizem que ele só foi feito para mostrar o console, mas eu discordo; tinha muito potencial e era um jogo extremamente promissor. Uma pena que nunca obteve uma sequência e que pouquíssimas pessoas tem o prazer de conhecê-lo da forma como ele realmente merece.

Graphically the game looks great and all around it’s not terrible. It did some things cool(weapon and cutscenes)and the setting was fun.

There were many times the fights got redundant and many parts of the story were a bit bland. It’s not a bad game for $10 or under if you find it for around that. I do miss when Sony was dropping these one-offs that weren’t part of their big franchises though.

This one is just ok.

I feel like so much of the discourse during release was surrounding it's price and it's length. When you set those aside, the game itself is just ok. Not terrible. Just an ok cinematic third person shooter.

It's still a shame we never got a sequel.

An admittedly interesting alternative history London and some fun weapons that are criminally underutilised aren’t enough to save The Order from mediocrity. Like as far as cover-based shooting goes this is serviceable but the few times it deviates from mowing down endless hordes of the British (which isn’t very often) to quicktime-based stealth and werewolf encounters it just doesn’t work. I can appreciate the presentation and the efforts to emulate film but at the same time the story being told here doesn’t feel very cinematic, and more like an unfinished first season of a BBC television show that got canned.

This review contains spoilers

The Catholic age where Vampires And Wolfman are a big threat to the society!

This game have really fantastic graphics. Also really fun to use weapons as well. But unfortunately it's a really problematic game. Because, it doesn't let me use them...

Why? Because they made the graphics a bit too realistic so they had to shoehorn in a lot of walking and quick time event sections.

This is not the only problem unfortunately, this game have a really interesting world that you want to know more about. But story doesn't take advantage from it.

Story is just a, I do what order given to me, but whaaat? There is actually a lot of lies in that order. Let me find the truth, but must not tell this to my friends so they can be my enemy for some hell reason cliche writing. Also game ends without any conclusion... Kind of upsetting tbh, because I really really like the world. Also I feel like this story could work better as a rpg rather than tps shooter. Why? Because interacting with the world sounds awesome rather than cliche shooting everyone gameplay.

Btw game constantly tells to you that there are both sides to this story. But it just doesn't care to show it, also main character is just a angry dude that can't stop himself until becomes too late, so he keeps killing unnecessary amount of people from both sides even when he is supposed to be "stealthy" for finding the truth without hurting anyone "unnecessarily" in second half of the game, but he kills them anyway.

I feel like that takes away from the supposed grey characters that game tries to convey, rather than killing everybody, incapacitate option would make things more fit in especially for the second half of the story in my opinion. The last of us 2 had this problem as well with not giving a no kill option, but I think tlou2 did this better because it actually there to support it's own message of "hate", because it's there to show that no needless killing goes unpunished. It wasn't perfect of course and it's problem with focus and bad pacing takes away a bit from it's message, but at least it made sure to show both sides to you.

What I mean is this story doesn't take any risk and turn into a grumpy angry shooter at the end and waste any of the potential this world has.

It's just a lot of action with no substance to stand on and that's a damn shame

there's a potentially really cool story to be told here which is a shame as it doesn't look like it'll be told. average gameplay that's saved by being relatively short and doesn't feel padded out.

The Order: 1886 has all the makings of a good game, and may well have been a great one, but somewhere along the way ambitions were the downfall of opportunity. The graphics are great, the gunplay is tight and the voice acting is superb. Even the cast and setting are well done, there's really no reason it should've been treated as an insult to gamers due to it's linearity and high price tag - I'm not saying the latter was justified, but the backlash was stronger than deserved in my opinion.

The game isn't necessarily too short, it's moreso that it's story was clearly intended to continue and as such the ending is somewhat abrupt and leaves unanswered questions.

I'm not sure why this was done, especially given the circumstances of the devs and the game's release window, but I can't help but wonder if this could've followed a path similar to the likes of The Evil Within; Wherein the first game is, okay, but the sequel builds on it and improves into something more highly regarded. It's a shame this isn't something we'll get to find out.

How?
Fucking How??
How did you make a game; starring immortal Knights of the Round Table fighting Werewolves and Vampires with steampunk tesla coil gun in a fictionalized steampunk Victorian London, possibly the most boring fucking thing I've ever played.

It's not even unique in its mediocrity, it's just the worst parts of the 7th gen and the 8th gen wrapped together in a package that's game design is just Naughty Dogs leftover, and a SyFy channel tier story the game takes way too seriously for it to be funny.
I'm not even mad I spent like 5 bucks on this I'm just shocked at the level of just pure mediocrity on display; I'd be impressed if I wasn't so fucking bored.

What if a game was... like a movie? That's not what this is.

What if a game was... 6 hours of stiff, prestige television inspired by the Underworld franchise of all things (but instead of being about cool monsters, human characters are at the forefront 90% of the time) that mayyyyybe will get good in the 2nd season but the 1st season was so reserved and boring it didn't get renewed? That's it. So it's just this overwrought prologue condemned to never continue.

Also, like Underworld, it's politically rancid. Somehow it's even worse tho. Like... it's an althistory setting where an empire has advanced tech and magic and you play as the bad guys. And they aren't bad cuz they're imperialists. They're portrayed as... misguided at best? Cuz they've been infiltrated by evil, monstrous "half breed" races who are steering the empire. It's very gross (hearing "half breed" uttered over and over again was the worst). It awkwardly sidesteps a critique of empire and white supremacy by pointing the finger at fantasy monsters. It's also super uncompelling.

I only played this cuz it has werewolves and it was extremely disappointing on that front, they're barely in it lol

To all creators & creatives out there: if you're worried that whatever you've been concocting in your head might be cringe, weird, over-the-top, or stupid... then stop worrying. Let your creation be cringe. Let it be weird, let it be over-the-top, let it be stupid as hell. Let it be something, because even if something is dumb as balls... it's also sincere. It's honest. Campy stupidity is fun, valuable, and memorable... and if you try to sand off the edges, stiffen that upper lip, and try your damnedest to be 'taken seriously', that results in a boring-ass slog like The Order: 1886, a thoroughly underwhelming dud bereft of fun, value, and memorability even though it should be one of the goofiest circus-ass games known to man.

The Order: 1886 is a game about immortal Arthurian knights palling around with Jack the Ripper & Nikola Tesla while shooting werewolves and vampires to death with lightning rifles. Somehow, someway, they managed to make all of that utterly fucking boring and trite. And that's because The Order: 1886 does not want you to laugh at it. The Order: 1886 takes itself very seriously, see, and as a result, you aren't allowed to have fun. The game is borderline unplayable, and that's not because of glitches or bugs or anything, mind you-- no no no, I mean that there are large portions of the game where you are basically not playing it, and you're instead watching a QTE cutscene of someone else having the most milquetoast adventure imaginable. The tutorial is just one long QTE sequence and it doesn't even teach you how to shoot, so it's a shitty tutorial on top of being the most boring thing ever made... but don't worry, The Order: 1886 is actually a bargain-bin cover shooter with piss-easy enemies when it isn't busy being a boring movie, so it's not like you actually needed a tutorial in the first place.

The plot and its' characters can't even salvage this. Everyone's just so dry. 1886's cast of fairweather fellows are literal Arthurian Knights that have been granted immortality and yet they act like the most solemn and withdrawn white men in existence. This seemingly larger-than-life setting is held back and restrained by its banal, colorless cast in ways that feel awfully... corporate.

Galahad won't shout "TALLY HO!" while hosing down Lycans with his sick-ass lightning rifle, he'll shoot a couple prisoners in the chest and grunt out some placeholder dialogue like "objective secured" or some bullshit. Nikola Tesla doesn't beat the shit out of Thomas Edison with a sword made of tesla coils, he makes you play a tedious Fable minigame for a few seconds and then gives you a rifle for your troubles. Marquis de Lafayette doesn't mutter "oh mon dieu, sacre bleu!!!" when he sees a werewolf for the first time, he delivers the exact same Marvel-ass quippy dialogue all of his friends do but in a slightly wryer tone than most. And when Jack the Ripper is revealed to be a vampire and also a dude you met beforehand, you don't even get to fight him, instead you fight a bunch of mooks and then have a QTE with a random twist villain whose name I already forgot instead.

The Order: 1886 is both a campy farce that's too stupid to be taken seriously and a vapid, vacuous slog that's too rigid to have fun with. It literally took the goofiest gimmick it could have possibly dreamt up and gave it the texture of a saltine cracker. And it's full of fucking British people. 1/5.

This game had so much negative press, which made me so skeptical to even give it a try, but when I found it for $5 years after release I couldn't say no. And I'm glad I tried it as I thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish. The setting was great, the story strange but good, the gameplay was pretty solid, and damn did it ever look good! Yes it was short, but it was definitely one of the more enjoyable games on the PS4. Really wish the game would've been more successful as a sequel would be greatly appreciated.

it's okay, the visuals are fantastic, some of the most crisp animation, character models, texture work and lighting you will see on the console, it's an impressive technical work considering the hardware, the shooting felt great and some of the weapon and character designs are really cool, decent writing and voice-acting but that's about it.

the actual "gameplay" outside of the shooting is mediocre since there is barely of it, intrusive QTEs, inspecting objects, walking segments and full-on cutscenes with some of them lasting entire chapters brings this game down in terms of pacing and overall enjoyment, the replay-value is pretty much non-existent, there is no reason to get back and play the game one more time after completing the story.

I can definitely see the potential on it and it's an shame it never received an sequel and probably never will considering that Ready at Dawn is with Meta now working with VR technology but this was an neat attempt on an new IP and incredibly ambitious in an technical standpoint, I would say to grab this if one is looking for an easy and short platinum trophy, it goes on sale a lot and you can do it in one playthrough very easily.

If they actually made the game instead of a two hour demo I think this would have done big number. The quality teased and then ripped away from you feels like you're about to have the hottest sex of your life only for your partner to be Thanos snapped out of existence at the moment of penetration.

I'm sorry, did you actually want werewolves, tesla coil guns and blimp fights and themes of British imperialism being unjustified even in the existence of monsters? Too bad. Thanks for 60 dollars you fucking loser.

Stunning Visually but nothing under the hood of any substance, I'd totally go for a sequel though.

This game has some really cool ideas and looks gorgeous and I know they won't ever make a sequel but they totally should, dammit. There's enough cool stuff (plus a cliffhanger ending) that it deserves to be given another shot.

Short indeed, but I'm a bit sad that there won't be any sequel, it's story and universe is so interesting and original. But yeah, not worth 60€ at release.

Ready at Dawn and Santa Monica Studios teamed up to create The Order: 1886 a terrible game with little to no story but impressive visuals.

The graphics are the most impressive thing about this game. The game is also a technical achievement and the only thing saving this game from a half a star. The transition from cut scene to game is so seamless that you may not even realise that the cut scene has ended.

The problems start with the border. They have borders on the top and bottom which look alright for the cut scenes but are a problem during gameplay because the enemies can shoot and you can't see them due to the borders.

The next problem is the story. Though it is set in alternate Victorian London where werewolves and vampires live. The story is boring and not very interesting.

The gameplay is also very creative. The Third-Person shooter returns and is not very fun. To get an idea how much fun this game will be, the VERY first thing you do is a quick time event.

This is not a fun game. The game only lasts about 6 hours that you could beat in one day. If you played full price for this game when it came out you would have been mad. It's clear that they planned for this to be a bigger series but mediocre repetition caused the game to never get a sequel.


Having played this game three years after its release and getting it for free, the short length didn't bother me and I enjoyed my time with the Order. I would definitely play a sequel if it got one, which would hopefully work out the kinks and expand the world/story. I enjoyed the characterization and storytelling as well as the general setting. The werewolf knife fight was pretty badass.

Primeiro jogo que platinei na minha vida. Apesar de ser um jogo curto, me diverti bastante, com uma boa história e boa gameplay, a escolha do tamanho da tela de exibição foi curiosa, para parecer um filme, porém em minha opinião, combinou bastante com o jogo. Fico triste por até hoje não ter ganho uma continuação.

Ah, The Order 1886. I finished this once a while ago, but I came back to get the platinum trophy. I've pretty much enjoyed and loved 90% of Sony's first party output in the last 10 years, and of the other 10%, this game is perhaps the one I wanted to like the most. The setting and world of The Order is right up my alley: an interesting twist on the Knights of the Round story, set in a steampunk-ish London, with a tasteful supernatural edge to it all. But it stumbles more often than it excels.

Most of The Order's failings can be seen in its first hour. The opening is incredibly slow, and in return, it doesn't offer a meaningful reason as to why it would be this slow. You'll also see an overreliance on QTEs, using them when they don't need to be used, and when they shouldn't. This lack of engaging interactivity is also felt through the movement, as the game insists on making you walk/climb so slowly through tight corridors for most of its runtime. All of this coalesces into this feeling of sluggish, uninviting gameplay.

And then there's a bigger problem: the game lacks the gameplay variety and depth needed to keep people engaged at all times. There are neat things in the combat, like the high variety of weapons available, and the Blackwater ability, which is a pretty badass slo-mo auto-lock-on move. But the level and encounter design is just so lacking. It's like having a cool sports car to drive, but all the roads are just simple straightaways and 90-degree corners. There's a part early on where you're just blasting 30-40 enemies in a courtyard and it's so basic. You barely have to move from your original cover. It's more like a stationary shooting gallery, and there's at least one of these every hour. Then you have the non-combat sections, which are hampered by the stuff I mentioned earlier, and most of the collectibles you find are just not exciting. Sure, the graphics are pretty as heck, and the environments are quite detailed, but sightseeing will only get you so far.

The worst of all is the half-breed fights; they're so disappointing. I get so mad when I think about these fights. Either you'll have a shitty Infinity Blade clone (remember that iPhone game?), or a shootout with the dumbest creature AI in the game. Just wait in one corner, shoot the heck out of them when they pop up, and press X at the right time to dodge their attack if needed. Rinse and repeat. It never changes. God, what a waste of potential.

All of this is the textbook example of all the worst qualities of cinematic prestige gaming. When you wrest control away from the player, you're supposed to have a good reason for it. Maybe you want to showcase great facial animations by taking away the camera controls and having these cinematographed cutscenes. Or maybe you want to slow down the player's movement to properly time a cool scripted set piece. This game fails at most attempts of these. The best of the genre understands how to balance developer intent with user experience; just look at every single Naughty Dog game in the last two decades. They constantly juggle between multiple gameplay flavors fluidly, and they put so much care into the way all of these flavors connect and interact with one another. As somebody who is incredibly fond of this type of game, seeing all these flaws condensed into an experience this short makes me feel so annoyed like I've been a hater all along.

...Okay, the worst has come to pass. I have talked a lot already, let's speedrun some other things about the game before we end this.
- I enjoyed the story quite a bit. The game is at its best when it's building this world of long-living Knights. Lines like "...It's a motto that has seen me through decades" and "Two revolutions have taught me that danger are on both sides" makes me so excited to learn more about this world. I also really like the angle of the Knights living a cursed life; "Men were never meant to live this life."
- Sir Galahad is a pretty great protagonist to play as, and I particularly liked the company of Lafayette and Lakshmi.
- I mentioned a bit about the weapons before, they really cooked with some of these. The Arc Gun is seriously one of my favorite video game weapons in the last 10 years. Shoutouts also to the Dragoon Revolver, the Thermite Gun, and the Falchion Rifle.
- The Letterbox aspect ratio certainly doesn't help with the boring level design: it especially lacks verticality. It only adds to the overall claustrophobic feel of the game. Also, I wish there were motion blur and film grain slider settings.
- Having unskippable cutscenes sucks ass.

If there's any one game that deserves a sequel to right all its wrongs, it's this. The setting of The Order is just too exciting for me, and I'm still quite bummed that we'll probably never see more of this world. Except if Sony decides to make a TV show or movie about this, I guess.

I tried it out on a friend's recommendation to be polite, and got through it because of how compelled I was to be nice. Thank goodness it was short.