Order I Played Square Games In Over The Course Of My Life
A chronicle of my thoughts on each Square game as I played them throughout the course of my life. Kind of a journal?
30 Games
Age: 6
Pokemon and Paper Mario were my introductions to JRPGs as a medium. They were the kinds of games that compelled me the most (and continue to, though those two series specifically do not totally enrapture me in the same way for obvious reasons.) Playing Super Mario RPG through the Wii virtual console for the first time felt like stepping into the world of "real" JRPGs. It felt as if I had entered a more refined area --even though, as SMRPG is the foundation for it, the first two Paper Mario games are fairly similar in many ways. There's something oddly esoteric about Super Mario RPG that still lends it an air of intrigue, even as someone who knows everything hiding in all its nooks and crannies. While I may prefer the first Paper Mario game, this game is close in my heart. It's an odd little thing to explore, and it's amazing that it exists. A perfect introduction to Square's particular style.
Pokemon and Paper Mario were my introductions to JRPGs as a medium. They were the kinds of games that compelled me the most (and continue to, though those two series specifically do not totally enrapture me in the same way for obvious reasons.) Playing Super Mario RPG through the Wii virtual console for the first time felt like stepping into the world of "real" JRPGs. It felt as if I had entered a more refined area --even though, as SMRPG is the foundation for it, the first two Paper Mario games are fairly similar in many ways. There's something oddly esoteric about Super Mario RPG that still lends it an air of intrigue, even as someone who knows everything hiding in all its nooks and crannies. While I may prefer the first Paper Mario game, this game is close in my heart. It's an odd little thing to explore, and it's amazing that it exists. A perfect introduction to Square's particular style.
Age: 8
Fiddling around with some emulators on my father's computer led me to play this game as my first foray into the world of Final Fantasy. Despite how compelling it is, and how many interesting narrative ideas it established for the medium, I bounced off of it pretty hard then. That being said, Final Fantasy IV is the quintessential ideal of Final Fantasy for me, that idea perhaps only challenged by the existence of Final Fantasy IX. But while that game's Final Fantasy-ness is often celebratory and referential, this piece only feels foundational --it feels as if almost every other Final Fantasy game is building on this one in some way. Now if only an eight year old could properly understand that context.
Fiddling around with some emulators on my father's computer led me to play this game as my first foray into the world of Final Fantasy. Despite how compelling it is, and how many interesting narrative ideas it established for the medium, I bounced off of it pretty hard then. That being said, Final Fantasy IV is the quintessential ideal of Final Fantasy for me, that idea perhaps only challenged by the existence of Final Fantasy IX. But while that game's Final Fantasy-ness is often celebratory and referential, this piece only feels foundational --it feels as if almost every other Final Fantasy game is building on this one in some way. Now if only an eight year old could properly understand that context.
Age: 8
I played Final Fantasy I shortly after Final Fantasy IV in the hopes to better familiarize myself with the series and gain my bearings, not knowing that IV is perhaps the best possible entrypoint for a newcomer to get invested in. Final Fantasy I isn't a bad game, or even all too unwieldy, but a lot of what it established was not carried over to later entries in the series. Spell charges and the non-linear structure, in addition to a set job system with a party that is fully customizable in terms of context, are not typical staples of the Final Fantasy games. With that being said, I enjoyed this game much more than IV as a kid because there was less melodrama and more number crunching. Games taking themselves or their narrative stakes seriously was an affront to my sensibilities as a child.
I played Final Fantasy I shortly after Final Fantasy IV in the hopes to better familiarize myself with the series and gain my bearings, not knowing that IV is perhaps the best possible entrypoint for a newcomer to get invested in. Final Fantasy I isn't a bad game, or even all too unwieldy, but a lot of what it established was not carried over to later entries in the series. Spell charges and the non-linear structure, in addition to a set job system with a party that is fully customizable in terms of context, are not typical staples of the Final Fantasy games. With that being said, I enjoyed this game much more than IV as a kid because there was less melodrama and more number crunching. Games taking themselves or their narrative stakes seriously was an affront to my sensibilities as a child.
Age: 8
I played this for a brief amount of time after the first Final Fantasy game as I had a Gameboy Advance emulator at my disposal and every single game ever made for it on hand. Ironically, I found it too childish for my sentiments --as if someone who thought that Mario was the zenith of artistic creation could have any say in that. Something to return to, much like the previous game in the Tactics series --though I see myself more likely to enjoy this one than that one.
I played this for a brief amount of time after the first Final Fantasy game as I had a Gameboy Advance emulator at my disposal and every single game ever made for it on hand. Ironically, I found it too childish for my sentiments --as if someone who thought that Mario was the zenith of artistic creation could have any say in that. Something to return to, much like the previous game in the Tactics series --though I see myself more likely to enjoy this one than that one.
Age: 10
My first interfacing with the dreaded Kingdom Hearts series came in the form of this game as a downloadable demo on the Nintendo 3DS eShop. I found it confusing then, mainly because it's a game in the middle of an already confusing plot even if you do have all the context necessary for entering it. I don't find it so confusing now, but I don't find it very remarkable. This is when time travel becomes a major facet of the overarching Kingdom Hearts narrative, but the implications that has are meaningless. The connection between Sora and Riku is arguably at its best written here --but I never liked either of them anyway, so I have no personal attachment to it. Kingdom Hearts has unfortunate meaning to me, and that meaning comes much later in my life than this first taste of it.
My first interfacing with the dreaded Kingdom Hearts series came in the form of this game as a downloadable demo on the Nintendo 3DS eShop. I found it confusing then, mainly because it's a game in the middle of an already confusing plot even if you do have all the context necessary for entering it. I don't find it so confusing now, but I don't find it very remarkable. This is when time travel becomes a major facet of the overarching Kingdom Hearts narrative, but the implications that has are meaningless. The connection between Sora and Riku is arguably at its best written here --but I never liked either of them anyway, so I have no personal attachment to it. Kingdom Hearts has unfortunate meaning to me, and that meaning comes much later in my life than this first taste of it.
Age: 11
Oddly enough, I played this game far before its massive surge in popularity around 2020 --as a kid, I played the initial phases of the A Realm Reborn re-release due to having been a fan of World of Warcraft growing up (one of my father's worst influences on me.) Luckily, my MMO addiction stages of my life persisted only throughout my being eleven and twelve, because every attempt I have made to play this particular Final Fantasy game since has repulsed me. I'm certain that it's better than most other MMOs, but at the end of the day, it's still an exploitative skinner box structure, one that eats your time and saps your energy away. My wife will make me play it eventually, and I love her more than life itself, so I will eventually return to re-evaluate this. For now, we are at odds.
Oddly enough, I played this game far before its massive surge in popularity around 2020 --as a kid, I played the initial phases of the A Realm Reborn re-release due to having been a fan of World of Warcraft growing up (one of my father's worst influences on me.) Luckily, my MMO addiction stages of my life persisted only throughout my being eleven and twelve, because every attempt I have made to play this particular Final Fantasy game since has repulsed me. I'm certain that it's better than most other MMOs, but at the end of the day, it's still an exploitative skinner box structure, one that eats your time and saps your energy away. My wife will make me play it eventually, and I love her more than life itself, so I will eventually return to re-evaluate this. For now, we are at odds.
Age: 12
I often frame the story of me and Final Fantasy VI as follows: I played Final Fantasy VI when I was 12 and it introduced me to the idea of finding a JRPG compelling outside of simply comedy. While I did play Final Fantasy IV years before (though I did not remember much of it), I also inadvertently played Final Fantasy III at this age due to confusing advice on which game Final Fantasy VI was. My father had said VI was his favorite, and so I resolved to play VI --but up until this point he had only ever called it III. And so I played through Final Fantasy III, unsure as to why he liked it so much due to its (at least, perceived on my end) hyper difficulty, but when I tried to speak with him about it, he would argue with me on plot details and characters. This left me very confused. Final Fantasy III is an amazing game, though I much prefer VI to it --a lot of the ideas that VII and IX would perfect on the nature of life and death first come to the fore here, and are portrayed through discourse that you don't see much on the Famicom.
I often frame the story of me and Final Fantasy VI as follows: I played Final Fantasy VI when I was 12 and it introduced me to the idea of finding a JRPG compelling outside of simply comedy. While I did play Final Fantasy IV years before (though I did not remember much of it), I also inadvertently played Final Fantasy III at this age due to confusing advice on which game Final Fantasy VI was. My father had said VI was his favorite, and so I resolved to play VI --but up until this point he had only ever called it III. And so I played through Final Fantasy III, unsure as to why he liked it so much due to its (at least, perceived on my end) hyper difficulty, but when I tried to speak with him about it, he would argue with me on plot details and characters. This left me very confused. Final Fantasy III is an amazing game, though I much prefer VI to it --a lot of the ideas that VII and IX would perfect on the nature of life and death first come to the fore here, and are portrayed through discourse that you don't see much on the Famicom.
Age: 12
I don't really remember why I resolved to play my (rancid) father's favorite Final Fantasy game in the summer between elementary school and middle school, or why I played Final Fantasy III around that time either, but I do remember that it became my favorite game of all time for years and years. One of the first times a game felt truly endless, but not in the sense I had observed with games like, say, Skyrim --rather, it felt as if the characters were living and breathing, and the urban legends surrounding the interactions you could have with them bled into reality for a child who wasn't willing to replay the game and see every eventuality. Final Fantasy VI felt like the unassailable monolith then, and even now, I view it as one of the best games of all time. It broke me free from the notion that JRPGs were inherently boring if they took themselves seriously.
I don't really remember why I resolved to play my (rancid) father's favorite Final Fantasy game in the summer between elementary school and middle school, or why I played Final Fantasy III around that time either, but I do remember that it became my favorite game of all time for years and years. One of the first times a game felt truly endless, but not in the sense I had observed with games like, say, Skyrim --rather, it felt as if the characters were living and breathing, and the urban legends surrounding the interactions you could have with them bled into reality for a child who wasn't willing to replay the game and see every eventuality. Final Fantasy VI felt like the unassailable monolith then, and even now, I view it as one of the best games of all time. It broke me free from the notion that JRPGs were inherently boring if they took themselves seriously.
Age: 12
I distinctly associate Final Fantasy V with liminality between stages of my life, a game that has come to represent major shifts in place for me. This first playthrough, done out of curiosity to see what the one SNES FF I hadn't played was like, accompanied going from childhood to adolescence. It was my second playthrough of Final Fantasy V in 2020 that accompanied both my move to a new home in the midst of the pandemic and also my radicalization into communist thought, undeveloped as it was. It was the third playthrough of Final Fantasy V that I observed, not one I played myself, from my then-boyfriend last year that accompanied the tragic end of a relationship that had lasted for two years. Final Fantasy V is a game of in-betweens, much like the interdimensional rift, it is a void that sucks up all it can in the moments you pass it and reinvent yourself anew. This also means that I hardly remember anything I like about it. Gilgamesh is interesting.
I distinctly associate Final Fantasy V with liminality between stages of my life, a game that has come to represent major shifts in place for me. This first playthrough, done out of curiosity to see what the one SNES FF I hadn't played was like, accompanied going from childhood to adolescence. It was my second playthrough of Final Fantasy V in 2020 that accompanied both my move to a new home in the midst of the pandemic and also my radicalization into communist thought, undeveloped as it was. It was the third playthrough of Final Fantasy V that I observed, not one I played myself, from my then-boyfriend last year that accompanied the tragic end of a relationship that had lasted for two years. Final Fantasy V is a game of in-betweens, much like the interdimensional rift, it is a void that sucks up all it can in the moments you pass it and reinvent yourself anew. This also means that I hardly remember anything I like about it. Gilgamesh is interesting.
Age: 12
Chrono Trigger was the next stop on the train of attempting to impress my patriarchal parentage, after all, it is his favorite game of all time, a fact to which I have spent an unfortunate amount of time writing in order to make him like me. As such, Chrono Trigger takes on a repugnant air to me as present, especially when both of its sequels are superior in almost every regard as works of art. However, when I initially played this game, I thought it was awesome. It's a perfect game for a child to play at the age I was --it's not very complex, and it hints at some very interesting ideas but never delves too far into them for it to be unwieldy. It's a good gateway game to bigger and better JRPGs, but alas for Chrono Trigger --bigger and better JRPGs exist!
Chrono Trigger was the next stop on the train of attempting to impress my patriarchal parentage, after all, it is his favorite game of all time, a fact to which I have spent an unfortunate amount of time writing in order to make him like me. As such, Chrono Trigger takes on a repugnant air to me as present, especially when both of its sequels are superior in almost every regard as works of art. However, when I initially played this game, I thought it was awesome. It's a perfect game for a child to play at the age I was --it's not very complex, and it hints at some very interesting ideas but never delves too far into them for it to be unwieldy. It's a good gateway game to bigger and better JRPGs, but alas for Chrono Trigger --bigger and better JRPGs exist!
Age: 12
After enjoying Chrono Trigger so deeply, there was one more SNES game from my father's heyday that he adored: Secret of Mana. Unlike Final Fantasy VI or Chrono Trigger, however, Secret of Mana is hard to come to grips with. It's not a matter of whether or not it "aged well" --that term has little actual usage. Rather, it's more that it attempted a form of action RPG design that had never been done before and was promptly abandoned, and so it's hard to play when you haven't engaged with anything like it before. Unlike many unconventional games I initially bounced off of, however, there isn't much of value to go through Secret of Mana for. The evocative worlds and concepts of Final Fantasy VI or even Chrono Trigger are absent, and what you're left with is a combat system that, while functional and perfectly serviceable, simultaneously feels like a rough draft of something grander. Perhaps Trials of Mana expands on it in some interesting ways.
After enjoying Chrono Trigger so deeply, there was one more SNES game from my father's heyday that he adored: Secret of Mana. Unlike Final Fantasy VI or Chrono Trigger, however, Secret of Mana is hard to come to grips with. It's not a matter of whether or not it "aged well" --that term has little actual usage. Rather, it's more that it attempted a form of action RPG design that had never been done before and was promptly abandoned, and so it's hard to play when you haven't engaged with anything like it before. Unlike many unconventional games I initially bounced off of, however, there isn't much of value to go through Secret of Mana for. The evocative worlds and concepts of Final Fantasy VI or even Chrono Trigger are absent, and what you're left with is a combat system that, while functional and perfectly serviceable, simultaneously feels like a rough draft of something grander. Perhaps Trials of Mana expands on it in some interesting ways.
Age: 12
I played Final Fantasy VII a few months after finishing VI, largely for cynical reasons. Final Fantasy VII wasn't a game I set out to enjoy; it was one I set out to deride for its shortcomings to prop up my new favorite game. And shortcomings and bad faith readings I did find in the game, and though I do still agree with some of my opinions I held then (this game's iteration of the Cid symbol is one of the worst written Final Fantasy characters yet) I have since come around in the following years (particularly on replay at the age of 17) on it as one of the best JRPGs ever written. Nothing short of a masterwork, and one that I should not have written off so soon. Cloud Strife is a trans woman.
I played Final Fantasy VII a few months after finishing VI, largely for cynical reasons. Final Fantasy VII wasn't a game I set out to enjoy; it was one I set out to deride for its shortcomings to prop up my new favorite game. And shortcomings and bad faith readings I did find in the game, and though I do still agree with some of my opinions I held then (this game's iteration of the Cid symbol is one of the worst written Final Fantasy characters yet) I have since come around in the following years (particularly on replay at the age of 17) on it as one of the best JRPGs ever written. Nothing short of a masterwork, and one that I should not have written off so soon. Cloud Strife is a trans woman.
Age: 13
I don't tend to talk much about my mother's side of the family, if only because the abuse I endured from her and her ilk was even greater than what my father has done to me. With that being said, one of the few memories of my stepfather doing something kind for me was buying me Final Fantasy XIII. As thrilled as I was to play it, my playthrough was marred by one trait: I could only play it in the living room of my home, ensuring that my mom would see the game. This led to me skipping all the cutscenes in the brief period I played before eventually giving up. If my mother had seen the exposed midriff this game had then I probably would have had furniture thrown at me. I played about five hours of Final Fantasy XIII and could not tell you what occurs at the beginning of that game. I remember enjoying it, though.
I don't tend to talk much about my mother's side of the family, if only because the abuse I endured from her and her ilk was even greater than what my father has done to me. With that being said, one of the few memories of my stepfather doing something kind for me was buying me Final Fantasy XIII. As thrilled as I was to play it, my playthrough was marred by one trait: I could only play it in the living room of my home, ensuring that my mom would see the game. This led to me skipping all the cutscenes in the brief period I played before eventually giving up. If my mother had seen the exposed midriff this game had then I probably would have had furniture thrown at me. I played about five hours of Final Fantasy XIII and could not tell you what occurs at the beginning of that game. I remember enjoying it, though.
Age: 15
Final Fantasy VI had the throne of my favorite game of all time for many years, as previously stated. It's still one of my favorites. Octopath Traveler was discussed and marketed under the pretense that it would be a worthy successor to the ideas that Final Fantasy VI explored. What released instead was possibly one of the most middling fantasy adventures ever conceived, and the disappointment I felt at its release reverberates into the present. There's not much to say about Octopath. Perhaps in another world where I wasn't expecting a competent thematic sequel to a game Octopath Traveler clearly wasn't intending to be, I would have liked it more. But I was, and it wasn't.
Final Fantasy VI had the throne of my favorite game of all time for many years, as previously stated. It's still one of my favorites. Octopath Traveler was discussed and marketed under the pretense that it would be a worthy successor to the ideas that Final Fantasy VI explored. What released instead was possibly one of the most middling fantasy adventures ever conceived, and the disappointment I felt at its release reverberates into the present. There's not much to say about Octopath. Perhaps in another world where I wasn't expecting a competent thematic sequel to a game Octopath Traveler clearly wasn't intending to be, I would have liked it more. But I was, and it wasn't.
Age: 16
Though I have played a few Dragon Quest games, they are not present here. This is because the ones I have played weren't developed by Square! Many of them were done before the company merged with Enix. This is the one that was developed by Square --I only played the demo, however, and even that was only in an attempt to 100% the (much worse!) Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, a game that I spent hundreds upon hundreds of hours playing out of nothing other than a distorted sense of obligation to it. I remember not thinking much of this, but having fun with it for an afternoon --and it's one that I certainly will return to in the future due to its importance.
Though I have played a few Dragon Quest games, they are not present here. This is because the ones I have played weren't developed by Square! Many of them were done before the company merged with Enix. This is the one that was developed by Square --I only played the demo, however, and even that was only in an attempt to 100% the (much worse!) Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, a game that I spent hundreds upon hundreds of hours playing out of nothing other than a distorted sense of obligation to it. I remember not thinking much of this, but having fun with it for an afternoon --and it's one that I certainly will return to in the future due to its importance.
Age: 17
During the initial stages of the COVID pandemic, I was in my junior year of high school. I used the newly found ample free time allotted by my teachers not knowing how to properly educate long distance (for no fault of their own) to play many of the Final Fantasy games that I had yet to. This was the first one that I played through and at the time, it came close to being my favorite of the series. My girlfriend at the time even worried that I wouldn't finish the Final Fantasy VI novelization that she had been reading piece-by-piece because of how enamored I had become with IX. Still the premier story about coming to terms with death in the realm of video games.
During the initial stages of the COVID pandemic, I was in my junior year of high school. I used the newly found ample free time allotted by my teachers not knowing how to properly educate long distance (for no fault of their own) to play many of the Final Fantasy games that I had yet to. This was the first one that I played through and at the time, it came close to being my favorite of the series. My girlfriend at the time even worried that I wouldn't finish the Final Fantasy VI novelization that she had been reading piece-by-piece because of how enamored I had become with IX. Still the premier story about coming to terms with death in the realm of video games.
Age: 17
During that period wherein I was playing through all the Final Fantasies I had missed, II was one that I dreaded playing. And on my initial playthrough of it, I despised it! Even though I found the soundtrack impeccable (as is everything Uematsu touches, frankly) I couldn't really stand the gameplay because it wasn't particularly conventional for a JRPG. That being said, after a few years and loving a man who loved this game dearly, I began to reappraise it, and now I realize that it is one of the best Final Fantasy games --certainly the best one on the Famicom. The atomsphere it creates is unlike anything else on the system, bitter, empty, rotting digital landscapes of dust upon dust.
During that period wherein I was playing through all the Final Fantasies I had missed, II was one that I dreaded playing. And on my initial playthrough of it, I despised it! Even though I found the soundtrack impeccable (as is everything Uematsu touches, frankly) I couldn't really stand the gameplay because it wasn't particularly conventional for a JRPG. That being said, after a few years and loving a man who loved this game dearly, I began to reappraise it, and now I realize that it is one of the best Final Fantasy games --certainly the best one on the Famicom. The atomsphere it creates is unlike anything else on the system, bitter, empty, rotting digital landscapes of dust upon dust.
Age: 17
As part of my Final Fantasy series soiree during the early months of the pandemic I played through this game under the pretense that it was the Good Final Fantasy spinoff. While I haven't played many Final Fantasy spinoffs (yet) so it's hard to say how this compares to the others, at the time I was underwhelmed and I remain this way today. Final Fantasy Tactics is a medieval political story, but like so many of those stories, it ends up feeling as if it's about nothing, embroiled in its own world with no concern to the real one it was written for. Perhaps another playthrough could make me think more positively of it, but for now, I see it as a much lesser version of Yasumi Matsuno's previous directorial work, Tactics Ogre.
As part of my Final Fantasy series soiree during the early months of the pandemic I played through this game under the pretense that it was the Good Final Fantasy spinoff. While I haven't played many Final Fantasy spinoffs (yet) so it's hard to say how this compares to the others, at the time I was underwhelmed and I remain this way today. Final Fantasy Tactics is a medieval political story, but like so many of those stories, it ends up feeling as if it's about nothing, embroiled in its own world with no concern to the real one it was written for. Perhaps another playthrough could make me think more positively of it, but for now, I see it as a much lesser version of Yasumi Matsuno's previous directorial work, Tactics Ogre.
Age: 18
Played it because I was enlisted as a writer on a Chrono Cross sequel fangame project. After playing through the game I promptly quit the project --I didn't realize it was a fangame and not a spiritual successor until after I had finished it. I didn't like it much the first time I played through it due to these circumstances forcing me to play the game in an odd way, but later reconnected with it. Eventually came to associate it and its soundtrack with my beloved wife. Oddly enough, a perfect companion piece to Drakengard.
Played it because I was enlisted as a writer on a Chrono Cross sequel fangame project. After playing through the game I promptly quit the project --I didn't realize it was a fangame and not a spiritual successor until after I had finished it. I didn't like it much the first time I played through it due to these circumstances forcing me to play the game in an odd way, but later reconnected with it. Eventually came to associate it and its soundtrack with my beloved wife. Oddly enough, a perfect companion piece to Drakengard.
Age: 18
It's an odd decision to play Radical Dreamers after its sequel Chrono Cross, a game that assumes you have the context of Radical Dreamers to help make its premise work. Much like Chrono Cross, I was immediately put off by it due to the fact that I was playing it at the behest of someone else (some YouTubers had convinced me to) --though unlike Chrono Cross, I found it hard to find any purpose to the act of playing Radical Dreamers. It felt aimless, the trappings of the text adventure giving me great confusion. It was a playthrough done out of spite, something that has been unfortunately common for me due to a ferocious cocktail of mental illness in my mind. That all aside, Radical Dreamers is a beautiful game, and it's a shame that it's so overlooked in favor of its lesser predecessor (something even I was guilty of.)
It's an odd decision to play Radical Dreamers after its sequel Chrono Cross, a game that assumes you have the context of Radical Dreamers to help make its premise work. Much like Chrono Cross, I was immediately put off by it due to the fact that I was playing it at the behest of someone else (some YouTubers had convinced me to) --though unlike Chrono Cross, I found it hard to find any purpose to the act of playing Radical Dreamers. It felt aimless, the trappings of the text adventure giving me great confusion. It was a playthrough done out of spite, something that has been unfortunately common for me due to a ferocious cocktail of mental illness in my mind. That all aside, Radical Dreamers is a beautiful game, and it's a shame that it's so overlooked in favor of its lesser predecessor (something even I was guilty of.)
Age: 18
An attempt to appease some friends of mine, once more. As I will detail in some later entries, Kingdom Hearts is largely a vacuous mass that I engaged with to escape from depression, despite it being representative of much of the depression I was facing. This is one of the few that feels closest to something I would enjoy elsewhere, mainly because I actively engaged with it as opposed to doing something else while playing it --but ultimately, it's still Disney. That is one of the largest caveats a game can have. It pains me deeply to have these opinions about these games, because there are so many people I have good opinions of who do love them. But I can't.
An attempt to appease some friends of mine, once more. As I will detail in some later entries, Kingdom Hearts is largely a vacuous mass that I engaged with to escape from depression, despite it being representative of much of the depression I was facing. This is one of the few that feels closest to something I would enjoy elsewhere, mainly because I actively engaged with it as opposed to doing something else while playing it --but ultimately, it's still Disney. That is one of the largest caveats a game can have. It pains me deeply to have these opinions about these games, because there are so many people I have good opinions of who do love them. But I can't.
Age: 18
The only game that has brought me to tears from frustration as an adult. Ironically one of the more interesting Kingdom Hearts games, but one that I associate with public humiliation and ridicule.
The only game that has brought me to tears from frustration as an adult. Ironically one of the more interesting Kingdom Hearts games, but one that I associate with public humiliation and ridicule.
Age: 19
Threads of Fate is a very cute game. I played through it due to a love of the archetype of the haughty rich woman, and Mint is the ultimate in that front. An entire game where you play as her was functionally meant for me --and when I played it, I felt seen! It was a very euphoric and fun experience. Cute and bubbly, with a good sense of humor. Mint is, sometimes, literally me. Other times I'm Vriska from Homestuck. Don't get it twisted.
Threads of Fate is a very cute game. I played through it due to a love of the archetype of the haughty rich woman, and Mint is the ultimate in that front. An entire game where you play as her was functionally meant for me --and when I played it, I felt seen! It was a very euphoric and fun experience. Cute and bubbly, with a good sense of humor. Mint is, sometimes, literally me. Other times I'm Vriska from Homestuck. Don't get it twisted.
Age: 19
The opening to Kingdom Hearts II is quite possibly one of the best openings to any game, and yet, it cannot save a Kingdom Hearts game from being a Kingdom Hearts game. I'm not entirely sure why this is the one that people seem to gravitate toward; next to III (aside from the opening) this is the one that passed through me the quickest narratively. It's hard to write about a series that purely existed (with regards to myself) to make me not think, to make me feel nothing as a substitute for the everything that haunted my mind. My strongest memory of this game is doing the Battle of One Thousand Heartless while a woman who was deeply infatuated with me tried to convince me to break up with my then-boyfriend (aforementioned in relation to FFV and FFII) and spirit myself off with her. That is the only moment that stands out amongst the sea of Kingdom Hearts II.
The opening to Kingdom Hearts II is quite possibly one of the best openings to any game, and yet, it cannot save a Kingdom Hearts game from being a Kingdom Hearts game. I'm not entirely sure why this is the one that people seem to gravitate toward; next to III (aside from the opening) this is the one that passed through me the quickest narratively. It's hard to write about a series that purely existed (with regards to myself) to make me not think, to make me feel nothing as a substitute for the everything that haunted my mind. My strongest memory of this game is doing the Battle of One Thousand Heartless while a woman who was deeply infatuated with me tried to convince me to break up with my then-boyfriend (aforementioned in relation to FFV and FFII) and spirit myself off with her. That is the only moment that stands out amongst the sea of Kingdom Hearts II.
Age: 19
What I remember of Birth By Sleep is mainly through how other people discuss its narrative rather than what I experienced while playing it. A melting pot of ideas that mean nothing to anyone outside of the most enthralled of Kingdom Hearts fans, a display of lore term after lore term after lore term. Not the worst Kingdom Hearts ever gets about this --the gacha game comes to mind --but this is around the time that this trend begins to start within the games.
What I remember of Birth By Sleep is mainly through how other people discuss its narrative rather than what I experienced while playing it. A melting pot of ideas that mean nothing to anyone outside of the most enthralled of Kingdom Hearts fans, a display of lore term after lore term after lore term. Not the worst Kingdom Hearts ever gets about this --the gacha game comes to mind --but this is around the time that this trend begins to start within the games.
Age: 19
The Kingdom Hearts saga of my life is an embarrassing one, but the games made for good brainless things to play to get my mind off of my own suffering. I'm certain meaning can be extrapolated from them --this one utilizes the Disney imagery in the only way that I think could be potentially compelling, though it's still held back by being fucking Disney --but ultimately they're nothing. 0.2 was just another game I played to stop myself from thinking.
The Kingdom Hearts saga of my life is an embarrassing one, but the games made for good brainless things to play to get my mind off of my own suffering. I'm certain meaning can be extrapolated from them --this one utilizes the Disney imagery in the only way that I think could be potentially compelling, though it's still held back by being fucking Disney --but ultimately they're nothing. 0.2 was just another game I played to stop myself from thinking.
Age: 19
This is when Kingdom Hearts became totally unimaginable sludge to my mind. A game of plot point conclusions and nothing else, starts of new stories that will never be meaningfully resolved in the hopes of extending out the narrative even further than it's already been outstretched. In the case of Homestuck, that kind of thing is interesting metacommentary --but here, it feels lost in itself. The MCU for JRPG fans who are afraid to play Trails and find the Xeno games to be (rightfully in some regards) repulsive.
This is when Kingdom Hearts became totally unimaginable sludge to my mind. A game of plot point conclusions and nothing else, starts of new stories that will never be meaningfully resolved in the hopes of extending out the narrative even further than it's already been outstretched. In the case of Homestuck, that kind of thing is interesting metacommentary --but here, it feels lost in itself. The MCU for JRPG fans who are afraid to play Trails and find the Xeno games to be (rightfully in some regards) repulsive.
Age: 19
Saw the Nintendo Direct announcing the remake and thought it would be a fun game to play on streams. I initially didn't have a great time with it because of this (a large reason why I don't do that anymore) because it does some very unconventional things that make it really incredible. Just can be a little frustrating when you're doing it in front of audience.
Saw the Nintendo Direct announcing the remake and thought it would be a fun game to play on streams. I initially didn't have a great time with it because of this (a large reason why I don't do that anymore) because it does some very unconventional things that make it really incredible. Just can be a little frustrating when you're doing it in front of audience.
Age: 19
Deeply annoying work that came to me at a time of great strife in my life. I'm certain there's something of value here --but between the awful aestheticism and constantly grating writing it's hard to see it. From what people have said, a lot of this game's sentiments seem to be conveyed much better through Final Fantasy IX (but this isn't even much of a statement, as that could be said about so many games.) Not a good game to play when you're in between jobs and threatened with homelessness.
Deeply annoying work that came to me at a time of great strife in my life. I'm certain there's something of value here --but between the awful aestheticism and constantly grating writing it's hard to see it. From what people have said, a lot of this game's sentiments seem to be conveyed much better through Final Fantasy IX (but this isn't even much of a statement, as that could be said about so many games.) Not a good game to play when you're in between jobs and threatened with homelessness.
Age: 20
The best Final Fantasy, as of me writing this now. I am a lesbian and I am in love with my wife. Evocative, dreamlike, surreal, melting, scraping, dissonant, perfection.
The best Final Fantasy, as of me writing this now. I am a lesbian and I am in love with my wife. Evocative, dreamlike, surreal, melting, scraping, dissonant, perfection.
6 Comments
This is kinda of amazing that you remember either the age and moment you have player these games. To me, The Square games is intrinsically in my memories and consequently in my heart; there is something in these games (principally on the final fantasy franchise) thats make me carry in my memories every piece of moment that i had in these games. This is truly a beautiful list that reminded how i love playing and how final fantasy impacts me as a person
Same first two games I played as well! Cool idea for a list.
CLOUD STRIFE IS A TRANS WOMAN. so glad other people get it and it wasn't just my specific brainworms realizing his entire arc works amazingly as a trans allegory
I was thinking the same thing about Squall during my recent playthrough!! My own terrible headcanon for 9 is that Tidus is a problematic he/him lesbian, just to round out the PS1 FFs as "sapphic media". Me and my best friend always joke as well that Locke and Celes are t4t (Locke being a trans dude and Celes being a trans woman), and honestly their whole dynamic just works so well through that lens haha
Funbil
5 months ago