Fighting a giant fucking dinosaur while a couple sings about their relationship being on the brink of destruction is awesome actually.

Not even a distant game, we're stuck on a whole different console.

The gameplay for Drakengard isn't good, it's engaging. What you're left with is a game that simply spills the blood of your victims, never allowing that element to be muted or sped through. It's pure in presentation, and I love it for that.

A profoundly innovative title where the mere act of describing the actions you commit in the game illustrates the ideas the game is trying to communicate more than any other video game has thus far.

So many other games try to wow you with the cool things you can do. "I cut a robot in half with a samurai sword after turning into a vampire for a 5% damage buff." In Cruelty Squad, I killed a politician and then proceeded to idle the in-game stock market for 7 hours for 2 million dollars so that I can buy a 1 million dollar house isolated from the world but I didn't have enough money for all the body modifications I wanted, so I went into a pharmaceutical business and murdered everyone and dismembered their bodies to harvest the in-tact organs to sell on the same stock market.

The horrendous visuals accomplish a more cyberpunk aesthetic that only leaves you wondering what the fuck happen to make it look like this? It's one of those expressions only a game can bring out of me. The last I played a video game that evoked this response was Bloodborne, where I stared at a woman in a wedding dress with a bloody stomach looking upwards towards the next boss, where I'm met with a baby crying and the title card, "Nightmare Slain." Chrono Trigger might be another example for others.

An additional note I would like to add regarding the attempts at dissecting this game are as follows: We are past the age of originality in video games. So many people are trying to undermine a game's artistic value in favor of lame comparison's to other existing games. I get the fact that video game's are not very old and we have all played many video games, and the generation of "the first ever gamers" are only a half-century old, but I really wish people would shut the fuck up about calling it some Deus-Ex-like-like-like-like Game-like like-like when I could floor all of you by calling this game Grand Theft Auto V Golden Eye because this game has a stock market that is influenced after certain character's in the story die and it's a first person shooter where the gun goes wavy. If the mechanic added into the game doesn't really add anything to the game itself, it's because the game sucks a buffalos ass after fucking it 7 times.

I assumed I would have indifference towards a title like this, but after about 50 hours of playtime and witnessing the brilliantly designed P-2, I just have to say it's perfect. The player's desperate drive to achieve perfection is ultimately halted by a man whose futile struggle also prevented him from ever succeeding in his own goal. I'm so excited to see what Hakita can produce in the official release.

The original video from the "I'm Not Gonna Sugarcoat It" trend is a moldy video showing Kazuya Mishima from Tekken performing his "Rage Drive" combo while the Bye Felicia "Damn!" sound effect and the Vine Boom sound effect fill the video's background noises. On July 2nd, 2022, Twitter user QuetzacoatlKing tweeted the video within a quote retweet, captioning it, "GRAAAAAAAH ONLY I CAN BULLY HIM HOP OFFFFFFFFF," and earning roughly 2,400 views and over 100 likes in two months. In the replies of their QT, they reiterated that the video was a "group effort," in that, "Like 3 other dudes’ work is in here."

"Why do you think the game called Sentinels of the Starry Skies is called Sentinels of the Starry Skies? Cause Sentinels was in the Starry Skies." -Kanye West

Resident Evil Village is deserving of its praises for being an above competent and enjoyable game. Personally, I found it to be a better experience interpreting Ethan Winter's to be a dumbass who just doesn't know what he's doing, with the writer's being completely self-aware of how dumb he is. With this perspective, he becomes such a funny and entertaining character throughout the whole experience.

2020

Hades is a roguelike I did not enjoy. The presentation of everything outside of its base art direction is poorly designed, and lacking in substance, to the point where it effects the actual art direction of the game. This is not to say I think Hades is a bad game that can't be fun to play, but rather the experience is inconsistent with each run, lacking the excessive variety other roguelikes offer to mitigate this otherwise fundamental flaw that's present within the genre itself.

2016

Whip out some Tribe Called Quest and just play through the game.

In the beginning of the game, it seems to open up with a promising and engaging thesis statement about how history never fixates on the rape, violence, or thoughtless cruelty present throughout war. While this is a topic of serious discussion, and one that should not be taken lightly, dialogue like this is actually used as a deception tactic to trick you into thinking both you and the writer's give a shit about any of it; The writing in this game is more like what a 9-5 employee thinks is good writing.

The Witcher 3 has a description for the succubus that is longer than any of the actually interesting monster designs. That really showed me where this game's priorities lied, all while showcasing shallow sex scenes, which really helped the game communicate what side it was on in the aforementioned thesis statement. Community discussion is no different-- revolving around fighting over a cardboard cutout and a silicone doll. It's also very self-contradictory to act like you care about rape when the camera will still frame a woman's breasts to be viewed as inherently sexual. I've seen tons of artwork and stories where a woman's breasts were just an extension of their body, but this game really knows how to get me going wowzers in my trousers! And if you don't see an inherent issue with that, you're a fucking idiot. Of course, this game is very immersive, using words like strumpet instead of whore, so its very mature and serious.

The gameplay pretty much entirely revolves around mashing. This is implying that the game would be better if I could go into the lab and learn dust loops.

This review contains spoilers

The way the game seamlessly masquerades its breaking of the fourth wall by framing it as Raiden being given tutorials as a means to tell the player how to play the game, only to subvert that in its climax by having Raiden be told to, "turn the game console off" was genius, if not clever.

Despite my multiple attempts at enjoying this game, there are just too many things getting in the way for me to truly enjoy it. Once I beat the base game, I felt this sense of emptiness that persisted because all of this revamping will never truly amount to any in-game reward. The Yakuza games have a similar problem, you'll reach the credits and all that tension in the streets are gone, and all you're left with is side quest music, and ambient street sounds.

2022

I feel like this game should have been similar in quality to Himiko Kikuchi's, "Flying Beagle."

Outside of some universal issues that clearly need a basic quality of life update, I loved this title and engaged with the combat system about as much as I wanted to, and the dlc where you complete 150 random stages was better than the Bloody Palace in Devil May Cry. Game also had a Final Fantasy VII high quality cutscene moment that was very well executed.

Everyday I put on my gay little voice and mimic his words:
"Tribute? You steal men's souls, and make them your slaves!"

Me point at my screen like how Squidward was pointing at Spongbob before having a fork stuck in his throat: Laura Bailey woman! Laura Bailey woman!