A part of me was blown away from the expansive environments. The way the skyboxes just look otherworldly. How kinetic movement and combat feels. How engaging each exotic is and how they can drastically change your playstyle. The wonder of what the next game from the dudes that made Halo felt finally lived with this expansion. Bungie is at their best when they craft a semi-linear story experience. From the campaign, to watching the raid race, that led to this never before seen final event, like this was endgame or something was just cool as fuck.

Then another part of me remembers why I don't dedicate my entire life to this game like I thought I would when I was in 11th grade. The live service part of this. I always come back and play whatever the expansion is or at least check out every new season, but something about Destiny 2 doesn't slap as much as the first one. Even though abilities are way more impactful, and it truly feels like a RPG shooter that it was harped up to be back then. Especially with the new Prismatic class, which is what I've always wanted out of Destiny's power system since the start. I just can't truly dip all the way back in this game anymore.

There's a bigger story to tell that I decree on my soapbox for the eleventh time about MMOs and how that golden age of community will never exist again, but that's not what you're reading for. For the record, I genuinely tried to get back into Destiny 2 before Final Shape. I geared up, farmed some exotics, got some masterwork gear, got as much as I could from the thousands of legendary shards, stocked up bounties, did some raids, farmed dungeons for god rolls, joined LFGs and Sherpas on a nightly basis on anything anybody needed another body for.

I even did something taboo...put my headset on and talked with strangers on a regular basis. "You guys gotta mic?". Chilling I know...

But as I enjoyed my time playing the content and finally mastering the clusterfuck of a UI, I felt the looming elephant in the room. I just enjoyed playing with randoms, speculating on what the Final Shape raid is going to be, talking about what's going to happen with Destiny 3 or Marathon, reminiscing about doing Raids for the first time in Destiny 1 and the beta. Then I'd hear that one guy, "Bro what the hell is that roll on your Mousekatoole. Why are you even running that exotic bro what the hell that shit is D tier bro. Bro doesn't know the mechanics, oh my god"

I'm not one to usually have other people ruin my experience. This is coming from a guy that runs a War Rock deck in Yugioh. I'm just not a competitive player. Even when I do competitive things, I'll go off-meta or don't follow guides because I like discovering and theory crafting on my own. What's meta might not be my play style. I just do my own thing. So this is very off-putting for someone that's primary Destiny 1 group were the owns to sit down at the tower and talk about life, we would stop and smell the roses staring at Vex Architecture discussing what it all could mean. I was with the lore heads that loved to sit and talk about what's going on in the greater destiny mythos and how what we're doing correlated. I loved that because that's what I loved about Halo.

I was one of those kids that read the books. I sat with friends during sleepovers talking about what they'll adapt with the new Reach game while searching for out of bounds clips and secrets. Because I don't have a friend group that's down to jump into games like this, and the random match made player base won't be that way either, I'm just stuck in a limbo state. While I love collecting exotics and doing random missions, I don't like being rushed through it. Destiny 2 is a forever game, you're meant to be constantly doing something.

The treadmill is on like speed 7 with this game and as a filthy casual I can't keep up. I done broke my ankle falling off the ramp. Not to mention how obtuse the monetization has become, making it hard to get said friend group to even join to play with me through this experience, or else cough up like 90 bucks to start. I really did like Bungie ass Borderlands for what it did for real. I guess this is a more general review of Destiny as an entity, as this is the "finale" or whatever.

It sucks cause frfr if it really was just bungie ass borderlands, then this would be Destiny 3, and it would've hit like a bitch rn.

Shiren is a polished, old school roguelike with an enormous amount of stuff to do in it. I had a good time playing through the main dungeon (and a few side ones) but probably won't put the time in to play everything it has to offer.

I like the visuals, things are cute and appealing and the commitment to a Japanese rural village aesthetic is cool.
I sort of don't like how similar upgraded versions of monsters look. It is super easy to get killed by an over-leveled monster you didn't realize was there, especially since there doesn't seem to be a way to examine monsters effectively.

The UX in general is passable, but can be pretty rough. There are a lot of controls that are mapped as modifiers you just have to remember and everything just feels pretty janky to play. This is partly because of the console controls but it definitely feels like some of it could have been worked out. You get used to it but it never feels really good to control Shiren.

The story here doesn't really matter at all and is mostly providing a thin justification to go through some dungeons. There are some cute interactions and character moments though.

The dungeon and roguelike mechanics are the stars here and they work super well. There are a ton of different dungeon themes with specialized challenges and systems in play most of which are interesting and fun to try out.
This plays like a classic roguelike and almost everything can vary from run to run. There are scrolls, herbs, pots, randomized weapons and armors, equipment improvement systems, ally characters, merchants, and a bank system to carry items from run to run. Shiren is absolutely bursting with stuff to learn and interact with and I think this is the primary draw of the game and why I will probably pick it up occasionally in the future.
Things do feel a bit too random at times though, with unfamiliar monsters coming out of nowhere to end your run, traps and random scrolls that can put you in an unwinnable situation, and attack/defense rolls that are simply unlucky. I found a lot of my deaths felt cheap without being instructive or interesting.
Shiren reproduces some classic roguelike mechanics like hunger and totally random consumables without really even attempting to solve some of their design issues. It is a bit of a bummer that this stuff persists here uncritically, for the most part.

I had a good time playing through the initial challenge of Shiren and will definitely be picking it back up in the future. There is a lot here to explore and it is very fun and entertaining even with the UX and randomness issues I had. If you like old school roguelikes Shiren is worth putting some time into.

Einhander is known as one of the better shooters on the PSX, which says something as this console has many great shooters. Presenting you with charming low poly models, this works in hand with the futuristic gundam-like artstyle the game is going for.

What makes Einhander unique from other shooters is the weapon switching system. Depending on the ship you choose, you can hold up to 3 sub weapons and freely switch between them. This adds a little more strategy to the game as the difficulty is hard as hell, but if you have the right weapons for the right situations, it will help you get through this tough challenge. For example, in a section with a lot of tiny enemies that swarm you, you might want to use the spread or gatling gun sub weapons. For situations with armored enemies, you might want to use the cannon or grenade sub weapons. It's up to you, but there are multiple ways to make some of the enemies and bosses easier.

As this is a squaresoft game, you will naturally get a great soundtrack and visuals, and Einhander is no exception. It is considered not only a great shooter, but also a great experience due to Square's production. The low poly 3D used for robots and machines result in a satisfying crunchy explosion as you fly by and shoot enemies down. There are also many set pieces with that switch your camera view from a 2D to 3D plane, just so Square can flex their production and give it the epicness that their games usually have.

My only gripes with Einhander is the fact that there seems to be a little input delay on the movement which can significantly contribute to the difficulty, and also the analog controls aren't fully implemented in the sense where you can't use the analog stick for precise movement, and instead acts more like a digital D-pad. The difficulty can also be frustratingly chaotic towards the end.

I don't think we ever got another shooter like this from Square ever again (Unless you count the Gummi ship sections from Kingdom Hearts), so we like to cherish this one as a special title and experiment from the teams who were experts in delivering quality RPGs at the time.

Best known as the publisher for Trails/Kiseki before being subsumed by Marvelous, XSEED Games have a wholesome publishing philosophy: they won't localize a game unless someone in the office really, really likes it. A quick look through their output proves quite eclectic - Corpse Party, Uppers, Unchained Blades, Zwei, Way of the Samurai 4, Ys, the Senran Kagura series. The one nibble of cohesion between all these games is this: they have personality.

Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin is no exception. It's a charming game about an entitled goddess cast down to earth, forced to subsist as a humble rice farmer. Alongside her are a bunch of humans who walked a little too close to the heavens. They are her only companions on an island plagued by all creatures ungodly. Sakuna must not only clean up this unholy plague, but also take care of her newfound friends.

This is a lovely game. Sakuna does not gamify the task of rice farming; it appreciates it so that we, the players, do so too. You don't click your way through planting and harvesting while virtual numbers go up - you care for your crops. You till the field, add fertilizer, manage the water level, and harvest and hull your crop manually. All from a beautifully stylized third-person view. During your time in the paddy, you can also interact with your makeshift family, eating meals and conversing as the sun sets on your little home. Then dawn arrives, and it's time for work: clearing out demon infestations in side-scrolling combat exploration.

This latter portion makes for a servicable action platformer, marred by a few glitches and weak enemy AI. The farming, however, is the undisputed highlight. Sakuna's homey charm during your time in the rice paddy is unmatched. Yet I do not believe it would be this perfectly achieved if not for the combat sections, feeble as they are. Like garnish on a steak, they complete the package, and give Sakuna the comfortable vibe of the work-life balance we wish for in reality. Highly recommended.

I have nothing intelligent to say about Devil May Cry 3. I still suck at DMC and this is no exception, but damn, sucking at this game felt so cool. This game is difficult in the kind of spiteful, egotistical way. It is not brutal or unfair, but the game routinely puts some bullshit in your face that requires some stupid, clunky strategy to beat and goes against the fluid and expressive combat by boxing you into some repetitive flow. But then you get to the Vergil fights and everyone is happy because those are some of the most anime-ass boss fights ever. A lot of the game is just finding obtuse keys to open stupid doors, but the process of killing basically anything is so goddamn fun that I don't mind. Looking at gameplay from other people already makes me want to revisit DMC 3 already because there are moves that I had no idea were in the game. My biggest mistake was to only use the Trickster style because my combat options were severely limited by it. Devil May Cry 3 is such a sassy game too. The attitude provoked a primal anger in me that made me want to power through it, like it was directly challenging my ego. Like I said though, I have nothing smart to add: game is fun, play it.

Solid Modern Outrun like that nails the aesthetics and music (oh the music!)

When Outrun was first conceived it developed an artistic language out of technical limitation. The way the track curves on an infinite plane, cloned assets of billboards and trees decorates a road that goes nowhere forever. It's meant to imitate life and it ends up creating a unique space. A space that intrigues my imagination and I want to explore for what it is rather than what it tried to be.

As technology Improved these unique spaces, Outrun or otherwise, were often left behind. I'm very grateful for games like Slipstream who celebrate those spaces and artistic languages.

Slipstream does a near perfect job in capturing those vistas and it created a lot of tracks where I just wanted to pull over and explore these planes that goes on like a colourful mirror corridor.

The thing with the first Uncharted is that it was a remarkable game for the year 2007, but it feels a bit wooden by today's standards. There are some aspects of the game that feel dated, which is understandable given its pioneering role in the series.

The story is alright, not groundbreaking, but it sets the stage for the series by kicking off Nathan Drake's adventure. The real highlight is the characters, especially Elena and Sully, who bring charm and personality to the game. Their interactions and chemistry with Nate make the narrative engaging, even if the plot itself is relatively straightforward.
For its time, Uncharted: Drake's Fortune was visually stunning. The lush environments, detailed character models, and fluid animations were a benchmark in 2007. While it may not hold up to the graphical standards of today, it still has a certain charm and showcases the technical prowess of Naughty Dog at the time.
The gameplay is decent, combining shooting and climbing mechanics that were innovative at the time. The cover system trick is a life saver, especially on Crushing difficulty where you die immediately. The game's areas are well-designed, capturing the Indiana Jones ancient lush jungle vibes perfectly. The mix of exploration, puzzle-solving, and combat keeps the gameplay loop engaging.
However, not everything is perfect. There are some annoying sections, like the Jet Ski segment with Elena, which can be frustrating and break the flow of the game. These moments are few and far between but noticeable enough to impact the overall experience.
The soundtrack is pretty much nonexistent besides "Nate's Theme," which every game in the series has recycled. It's Naughty Dog's fault, they fail to create more than one memorable track per game, whatever that game might be. This lack of a varied and impactful soundtrack can make some parts of the game feel less immersive.

Even though this is my least favorite Uncharted, it remains a solid game that set the stage for an incredible series. While it may feel dated and wooden in some areas, it remains an important piece of gaming history. The characters, gameplay, and overall adventure capture the essence of a great action-adventure game.
However, the fact that it didn't age as gracefully as its sequels and that the later games surpassed it in almost every aspect drags the game down a bit.
But despite its flaws and the superior quality of its sequels, it's still worth playing for anyone interested in the origins of Nathan Drake's epic journey.

[Estimated read time: 3 million days]

Paradise Killer perfectly captures the vibe of occupying an abandoned digital world. The constant shuffle of the in-world radio, walls lined with sloppily designed ads for in-game products, the rapid cycle of day and night rolling light through tightly spaced social hubs, now left empty but no less ready to host a party than they ever were. Island 24 is not unlike an emptied Second Life instance, where the digital buildings and streets are preserved and timeless and the only decay is interest.

I like to hop into my old Second Life account sometimes and just throw myself into random worlds with the specific intent of drinking in that atmosphere. There's something about that experience that is faintly evocative of liminal spaces, though not quite. It's liminally-adjascent, as the function of these spaces is well understood, yet not without a fog of melancholy hanging over those worlds like the ghost of a dead friend group. Occasionally, you'll find a world that is still somewhat active, kept alive by a tight nit community that remains ever dedicated to communicating in an increasingly inconvenient way. I observe them like one would animals in a zoo, from the bushes of a bimbofication server, just... learning, listening.

The reasons for Island 24's abandonment are of course far more sinister. It's the end result of a ritualistic culling of Paradise's lower class, conducted at the behest of a syndicate of certifiable freaks to appease their alien gods. This usually doesn't happen in games like Second Life or VR Chat, though I am convinced that (like Paradise) their economies are sustained by kidnapping victims who are forced to make bullshit meshes all day.

A Second Life murder mystery is so targeted towards my specific interests that my flawless 5/5 score might be owed in part to predisposition. I think it does a great job of packing the feeling of exploring those desolate spaces into a focused and full experience. It also has an incredibly esoteric reference to Resident Evil 5's egg duplication economy, something I only ever see mentioned in conversations between myself and Larry Davis, so that might just be a clue pointing to a larger conspiracy, of which I'm the target. At least that's the truth I've divined.

And truth is exactly what the disgraced and exiled former head of the Paradise Psycho Unit, Lady Love Dies (born in The Longest Tower, Britain in AD 1000 under the sign of Kiss Me To The Moon) is here to provide. Called back into action after the murder of Paradise's ruling council, Lady and the player need to build a compelling case and arrest a culprit so the few remaining inhabitants of the island's exalted upper crust can migrate to Perfect 25. Said upper crust is almost unanimously convinced the murder was committed by Henry Division, a citizen hosting a demonic presence who was found at the scene of the crime with the council's blood in his belly, but early evidence suggests a greater conspiracy. And why not? The Syndicate's interpersonal drama has long since played a role in the rise and fall of previous island simulations, and Henry might just be yet another consequence of their scheming.

Paradise Killer repeatedly makes clear that truth is a construct informed by facts but not beholden to them, and that what objectively happened is unknowable. You'll run around the island picking up evidence, reviewing crime scenes, pulling phone records and interviewing suspects, but how you assemble the facts and what truth you ultimately craft is the real meat of the game. Go for a completionist run like I did, and you'll find that there's enough dirt to pin everyone to the wall, with the strength of your case hinging entirely on how you present it in court. You can also implicate multiple suspects in a variety of crimes, so if you really want to you could execute everyone by presenting the ultimate, unassailable case that these dudes all suck.

Well, except for Crimson Acid and Dr. Doom Jazz. I just slept with them instead.

This also means you can wrap the game up at any time, even right after starting it by accept Henry as the scapegoat, something the remaining syndicate members are all too happy to go along with as it's the truth least disruptive to their power structure. You can spend exactly as much time exploring Island 24 as you want, which for me meant playing until I stopped seeing unique dialog.

Just as Perfect 25 is not the perfect island simulation it's purported to be, Paradise Killer is not a perfect video game, even if my 5/5 might lead you to think so. Some people just aren't going to have the patience to run around apartment blocks looking at discarded pull tabs for a crumb of lore, or waste hours drinking in the sad mundanity of the enslaved working class. Like I said, I feel uniquely predisposed to liking this one, so even the elements that were more akin to a collecathon or walking sim still got something out of me. I got every Starlight skin, I solved the mystery of the holy seals, and I put together a case that for a game with no "true ending" by design still felt as conclusive as it could get. I poured over my case file multiple times, I gave it serious and deep thought. I am the Investigation Freak, and that is why this is a perfect 5. For me, specifically.

BUT IS IT A SUMMAH GAME?

IT IS TIME TO START THE TRIALS AND CROSS INTO THE ABYSS OF SUMMAH!

Considering how often characters talk about how oppressively hot Island 24 is, right down to the heat of the pavement, I'm not sure a trial is even necessary. It is a tropical paradise flanked on all sides by an endless expanse of ocean and blanketed in palm trees. The haughty statues, gold trimmed marble buildings and obsidian obelisks adorn 24 with a 90s posh that really ties it all together. It's the most overtly Summah-coded game I've played since Mario Sunshine, but to not investigate would be a dereliction of duty, negligence of the most grotesque order, and just plain lazy.


I put Paradise Killer up against the Summah Index and the results were astounding. At 141 points, it is the highest rated Summah Game yet, but because the scale cannot exceed 100, I do have to round it down to a more solid figure. Nevertheless, it is a perfect score. Paradise Killer has a lot to say about the follies of reaching for perfection, but I fucking scalded my whole entire sole off walking barefoot outside the citizen housing block, and that was before the reality folding drive sent off a radiation blast that cooked me alive.

Now I'm a ghost on a beach in a failed simulation, rattling my chains and moaning "Ooooh, I can't move on... until you have a Summah!"

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Don't forget to sally your face every morning before going to work! Otherwise... face, meet pavement, pavement, meet face. Sally Face has the tact of a podcaster and you can smell the same putrid odor through the screen. There is a marginal difference between Axe spray and whatever awaits in Sally Face, but a difference nonetheless. It's more interested in dangling a mystery in front of you than delivering a fun experience, ultimately deciding to to close up shop permanently while every worker was on active shift. I think I expertly performed every action to miss extra dialogue I could in episode 4, I've got a knack for this. Some of the things these fellas say are very surprising, so I really missed an opportunity to read gross conversations.

Sal Fischer is not like the other girls. He's a boy. Poor poor baby he went through so much 🥺 he may or may not have Hatsune Miku chilling in the family tree. Let's see how the lack of a mother figure will impact this child. On the other end, how the lack of a father figure will impact his best friend. That would be Larry not Butz. mf Larry's nose should be considered a lethal weapon, he could have stabbed all these residents in a jiffy. He's a good guy though he won't do that. I thought it would be big enough to smell ghosts though, or bullshit, or anything but that damn bologna. Aside from him, there's a fat ass cat lmao and aside from that cat, Sal has a friend group. A woman, gay people and a black dude. He's meeting the Netflix quotas to a T. Good for him.

It's a game made on Unity by one guy. With that in mind, it still doesn't fare that well. There is nothing that would have matched the game's vibe as perfectly as fighting an eldritch monster midair by playing the guitar, following a cult doing its best to enjoy the game's age rating to the fullest. Kids these days. Anything but a job 😭 All the complaints about episode 5 are pretty much true in my highly educated opinion. I feel the air leaving my lungs as the characters begin to yap the most generic sentences just to fill air. If this was done on purpose for the vibe, congratulations, if this was not done on purpose, congratulations (he believes in celebrating the work of independent creators). Actually, building a quick 3d project for 10 minutes of gameplay is pretty cool. The finale went through a few artstyles and none felt particularly out of place.

If you played this and think you ate, think carefully about what you've just eaten. Does it matter whether you knew what were the ingredients? Eh. Call it Google the way I have the Drive to choke on my plate. The episodes might almost work as standalones ngl. Don't jump in the middle obviously, although I don't think you can. I wonder what's the pipeline with Sally Face diehard fans btw but I have a feeling the fandom overlaps with Hetalia or some shit idk why. Well, lovely venture. Moral is never let an eboy in church again unless he's professionally trained for it. Nah even then. Never forget the bite of '88 it comes after 87 the previous number yep

First of all, props to Team Silent for having the guts to focus on a teenage girl protag. bowing emoji

At the same time, kinda feels like a bit of a vie for relevancy? Sorry. The original Silent Hill was very standalone and didn't need much of a continuation, it wrapped things up pretty nicely. SH2 somehow managed to be amazing by just being a completely different story set in a similar setting. Little to no connection really, but it also establishes the franchise as something that can be further expanded upon.

Now in with the amusement park and mall, etc. It may star a teenage girl but it also seems a bit geared towards teenagers as well. Euh, it's fine really, Silent Hill as a series had diminishing sales with each subsequent release, so changing the core concept of each story while polishing the gameplay was probably the best option, but it's also not super compelling. Shrug

Let's get this straight; I didn't like James Sunderland. I didn't feel sorry for him, a lot of his issues were his own damn fault tbh. SH2 is as much about the struggle of mental illness and trauma as it is the hubris of the male psyche and sexuality. He's not a very likeable MALE character when the credits roll. Heather on the other hand, is quite likeable. That's a double edged sword though, because it's ultimately a lot less compelling.

Oh well, the game is a bit more fun on the action side, if more labyrinthian.

This is the third review in a marathon of reviews for “The Legend of Zelda” series. If you haven’t yet, please read my previous review here. Please also check out Reyn, Phantasm, Steinco, Dunebot & ptcremisi who are doing this marathon with me. They will also be posting reviews for each Zelda game in the marathon, though not all of us are playing the same games. I will also be linking specific individuals who will be playing specific Zelda games alongside us, so please check them out also! Without any further delay, let’s get right into The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past!

The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past, or LTTP as I’ll be calling it for this review, might just be the most important Zelda game ever. Not only did it establish so many essential staples to the franchise such as the master sword, heart pieces, the big/boss key, puzzle themes, item progression, and basic formula of Zelda games having three dungeons in order to retrieve the Master Sword, and then a plethora of more complicated dungeons afterwards, the final dungeon, and then the final boss. It’s not just what LTTP did for Zelda though that’s important, it’s how The game did it, and how it did it successfully, especially after coming off from The Legend of Zelda II: the Adventure of Link, which was a huge departure from the series.

Link has never felt more capable or more easy to control before. Link can now easily walk in all directions, which allows for more complex level design and enemy design. Link now swings his sword in an arch instead of a stab, allowing for much less frustration on top of a generous hitbox that will stop enemies in their tracks. Link now has a new spin attack which will go on to become an essential staple in his swordplay for every entry afterward, allowing Link to protect himself in a large circle that also deals rather good damage. In LTTP however, Link holds his sword in front of him to charge before spin attacking, which also serves as a hitbox which is thoughtfully designed to ensure the player isn’t fully compromised from attacking while trying to charge up this attack. Link can now also pick up pots and bushes to throw at enemies to deal considerable damage and also gives him an essential ranged option for encounters early on, they can even be used to knock poor unsuspecting foes off from balconies to kill them instantly. This ability would also be in every Zelda game afterward, however in the 2D entries specifically, the pot-throwing feels more reliable and significant as an offensive option due to the higher accuracy and damage, whereas 3D entries don’t emphasize it as much for combat, but definitely more for puzzles. Link can also hop off ledges, pull and push levers and blocks, and even his sword bounces off harder materials, adding a sense of realism to everything. Not only are these mechanics incredibly polished and always useful throughout the game, but Link is very animated and expressive which adds further charm to these additions, like when he’s visibly struggling to lift up an object before carrying it over his head. It’s things like this that remind us Link is still young, or at least inexperienced, but still very much capable and resourceful when he needs to be, even if a single line of dialogue is never spoken, this particular incarnation of Link has a lot more personality and flair to him than any Link before.

LTTP does more than give Link better characterization though, the writing has also taken a significant leap forward. LTTP establishes a lot of lore and mechanics that later Zelda games would flesh out, such as the seven wisemen who sealed Ganon away, the “Golden Power” known as the Triforce that can grant a wish when touched, unlike Zelda 2 where it simply lifted Zelda’s eternal coma, and Princess Zelda’s inclination to magic. While not everything LTTP presents is exactly compelling, it certainly makes an attempt in both the World and narrative as each dungeon completed, and each NPC talked to provide more context and information that can add deeper appreciation to what the game is going for. The Overworld presents a lot of history and nuance as well, such as the Zoras for example. Before, the Zoras were nothing more than nuisances in Zelda 1 and LTTP, yet they still offer Link their help should he compensate them with the right amount of rupees. Small ideas like this would later snowball into the Zora becoming an entirely peaceful race that Link assists and allies with in future titles. It’s not just the Zora either, many monsters in LTTP offer services to Link in exchange for money, while Zelda 1 did have the friendly Moblins who gave Link rupees, they pushed the envelope here a lot more and allowed for more monsters to present this human-like contrast to them where they’re not all necessarily evil or working for Ganon, which I really appreciate. Other aspects I like are the ancient hieroglyphs you can find in Hyrule, you need an item called “The Book of Mudora '' to read. .While as a gameplay mechanic, it makes sense you’d need this book to translate these hieroglyphs to receive an item, but from a lore perspective it’s incredibly interesting. An ancient civilization at one point who perhaps knew now long-lost magic that Link learns and uses to access later areas in the game, as well as needing the Master Sword to even obtain them almost makes it seem like a previous Hero of Legend left this power behind for the next Hero to inherit. It’s small details like this that LTTP is able to overlap in both gameplay and lore that makes it so interesting to think about, on top of just having a satisfying progression where every item you receive feels impactful throughout most of the game.

Item progression is perhaps the best it’s ever been for Zelda in LTTP as well. Every single item, even the boomerang now has a substantial purpose that justifies having it, as well as smart design decisions that continue giving these items importance and utility throughout the entire game. Let’s go back to the boomerang for example! I conceded in my Zelda 1 review that I rarely used items like the boomerang because the game never really much reason to use it over something like the Magic Wand. In LTTP, this is entirely different now as the Boomerang can now be used to pick up items from afar, this includes enemy drops such as rupees and arrows, to much more important items like small keys. Even if the boomerang is never required to use, the utility of collecting items out of reach or inconveniently far away is now a non-issue because the Boomerang can grab it for you. This can even become useful if an enemy drops a key but is surrounded by dangerous hazards, rather than having to take damage, you can simply use the Boomerang! It’s not just the Boomerang either that has this sort of thoughtfulness to it, the bug-catching net allows you to capture bees and fairies which each have their own use, yet the bug-net is useless without its partner item, the bottle. The bottle is used to store things you catch with the net, which I really like, it allows for two items to overlap in how they’re useful to the player which gives them both value. Yet, even the bottle can be used to store potions as well, so it still has its exclusive use besides being reliant on the net, it’s this sort of design that always allows for an item to be useful. It gets even better when items need to be used in tandem in order to succeed. Even the items by themselves stay relevant after you’ve received them, such as the Hookshot. The Hookshot is a fan favorite item, and was introduced in this game, it allows you to hook onto specific objects to pull Link far distances. You can hook chests, blocks, kill enemies with it, and even pull items and specific enemies to you as well. Due to the sheer vastness of the Hookshot, it always stays useful, but the game always accounts for you having this item once you get it, and is always creating scenarios you need to use it in, such as getting to the other side of Death Mountain, or being able to enter Misery Mire at all. LTTP is incredibly smart with its items, and even innovates old items like the bombs. Originally in Zelda 1, bombs were a very finite resource that you needed to be careful about placing correctly or you’d be wasting them, much unlike LTTP. In LTTP, you can now pick up your bombs, you can throw them, they have a longer detonation time, you can even upgrade your bomb capacity up to 40 bombs, ensuring you’ll never run out. These new mechanics not only make bombs more practical in combat and puzzles, but it allows the developers to make far more convoluted puzzles involving them, while also being able to evolve the puzzles steadily so players can continue mastering the art of using bombs. Without these mechanics that require precision and fidelity, bombs would feel just as one-dimensional as Zelda 1’s, but thankfully LTTP does nothing but improve everything established before it, even Zelda 2.

In my review for Zelda 2 I mentioned how shielded enemies always annoyed me because you had to always jump-strike to land a hit, and even then it wasn’t always consistent. I’m happy to say LTTP somehow made this mechanic far better, and much less annoying! As early as the start of the game, LTTP establishes that not every enemy can just be mindlessly slashed to defeat. The corrupted Hyrule knights who fight Link are equipped with shields which protects them from Link’s attacks. This teaches the player very quickly that positioning is key to dealing with certain enemies, and for these knights, attacking them to the left of their shield, behind them, or in front of them will be able to damage them. Zelda 1 had this concept with the Darknuts, but didn’t have the technology to allow for Link to hit their exposed body their shield isn’t covering, and Zelda 2’s perspective limited it to low and high hits. LTTP hits this sweet spot of allowing the enemies to have resilience, but not a perfect defense either, it has compromises, just as Link’s defense is in every Zelda game prior and including this one. Other enemies such as hardhat beetles have unique reactions to attacking them, knocking Link back like a bumper. Other enemies such as Gibdo’s that are now far tankier than Zelda 1, now have a crippling weakness to fire. Having these specific weaknesses and attributes to enemies only serves to enrich combat, and these are just a few examples. Other enemies outright justify certain items you have, such as the red variants of Goriyah’s and Eyegore’s requiring the bow to even harm, Terrapin’s needing to be knocked over with the hammer to expose their weak stomachs, and the Freezor’s needing to be melted by the Fire rod or Bombos. It’s because of these enemy designs and behaviors that allows LTTP to elevate itself far past previous entries. Enemies that require specific strategies to defeat, requiring specific items, and having certain immunities and strengths that individualize them. It becomes much better when a variety of enemies are placed into the same room, it creates extremely dynamic gameplay of swapping out your items to deal with each one methodically like a dance. Yet the game never expects you to switch items constantly per room, and there’s plenty of enemies you can dispose of with just a simple swing of your sword, such as the Gibdo’s again, but it’s never annoying. In Zelda 1, they often bombarded you with too many enemies, and Zelda 2’s enemies were too difficult to dispose of and their placements were often unfair and frustrating. LTTP has neither flaw, at least, not to the same severity. Many of the enemy placements and combinations felt thoughtful, balanced, and most importantly, it feels fair. That’s the most important part to me, LTTP always felt fair even in the most harrowing of rooms, enemy placement never felt too overwhelming, there was never a moment where I said “wow, that’s some terrible enemy placement!” Things that I thought and said many times in the previous entries of Zelda. The game always gives you the tools to win, you just have to utilize them, and that’s one reason I love LTTP!

Let’s talk about something that’s not so great about LTTP, the minigames. Now, let me just preface that I don't find these games mechanically bad, rather their reliance on RNG is what kills me. I think the most infamous of these is the digging minigame. In the digging minigame, you pay 80 rupees to start digging around, but you only have 30 seconds. Now, to be as fair as possible here, the digging minigame usually pays out enough rupees to try again, so it’s just a matter of repetition to get the piece of heart. However, the issue is how long it can take, for this playthrough it took me about 10 attempts, which isn’t bad. I understand the idea, and it’s not even a bad minigame, but the reliance on luck rather than skill when the rest of this game is the exact opposite of that is a bit jarring for me. Same could be said for the Chest minigame in Thieves' Town which I’d argue is worse had the town itself not have 600 rupees you can grab with relative ease. You also have the racing minigame in Kakariko town which actually isn’t that bad at all and is kind of fun! The rest of the minigames don’t provide a substantial reward, but are fun enough on their own to kill time or make some extra money.

In the previous entries of Zelda, I found it rather odd that most of the items you receive don’t necessarily help with traversal. Zelda 1 had the stepladder which was useful, but didn’t really provide much help, Zelda 2 was especially bad considering a lot of those items could’ve actually been great, but instead were relegated to very specific paths that mostly just led to the next dungeon. LTTP once again just kills it with both explorative progression, but ease of travel. The Pegasus Boots being one of the most substantial, allowing Link to run super fast in one direction without being able to turn. On the plus side, he keeps his sword out in front, shoving enemies out of your way to keep the sprint going. This alone makes LTTP far less intrusive to play, especially when in the Overworld and backtracking. Not only does it serve its own purposes as an item, but it doubles as improved transportation which was really smart. The Zora Flippers allow you to swim, a first for Zelda. They once again, not only allow you to swim, but unlock so many new avenues to explore via the whirlpools which will warp you throughout the map, which is very convenient. Zora flippers also serve as a paramount item later in the game for dungeons like Swamp Palace, which gives it immense value. My absolute favorite has to be the flute though. The flute allows you to warp to 8 different points on the map, and usually puts you in a spot of interest, such as Link’s House, the Old Man’s cave house, the Witch’s hut etc. All of these areas serve a purpose, or are a significant landmark to help distinguish where you are and what you can do. And yet again, even something like the flute allows you to gain access to a new area you couldn’t otherwise, which as I’ll say again, is so smart. Not only does it make it easier for the player to explore the World and find things easier and faster, but the progression feels strong, it’s quantifiable how much more capable Link is as the game progresses, not just in strength, but in utility. I wanted to stress this point, because Zelda 2 drove me wild with having to start from the very beginning every time you died because Link doesn’t feel anymore capable or faster to get somewhere even by the end of the game. Compared to LTTP, I can save my game, warp to Link’s House, use the flute to get to death mountain and reach the final dungeon in a manner of 5 minutes. This comparison alone, along with my horrible experience with Zelda 2, made this one simple feature hold far more value for me, and I am very grateful to have it, it’s a luxury Zelda didn’t always have, but very glad it exists in LTTP!

Now, for the most important question, how cryptic is this game? Zelda 1 and Zelda 2 I dubbed as “guide games” in my reviews because I legitimately couldn’t fathom how someone could’ve realistically figured out what to do in those games due to the lack of visual tells, or the game not relaying the information you could even do certain things that it asks of you later on. So, what about LTTP? Well, I can happily say it’s a lot better! LTTP was smart with the Castle Escape sequence exposing players to very important concepts early on. Opening chests, defeating enemies to open doors, enemies dropping keys, being able to push things/interacting with the environment, the map, and the big key. All of these things plus dark rooms, torches, and levers are introduced and exposed to the player so they can understand them in a controlled, but not hand-holding environment. Interactable environments such as bombable walls now have a visual tell with cracks to represent a weak wall. The map and compass aren’t incredibly reliable, but a step-up from Zelda 1. The overworld is far less cryptic, items now give descriptions on what they do in-game so the player doesn’t need to guess their functionality anymore. Dungeons such as Eastern Palace introduce more complex dark rooms and simple block puzzles. Desert Palace forces the player to find the second part of the dungeon by leaving the dungeon, which later dungeons like Skull Woods do a lot more of. Desert palace also teaches you about torch puzzles in a manner that’s easy to understand as well. Tower of Hera introduces the idea of descending floors through holes to reach normally inaccessible areas which becomes incredibly common in later dungeons and the Overworld. Tower of Hera also introduces the red and blue blocks that rise and drop depending on the color of the switch you use. LTTP is very considerate about introducing and having the player practice new mechanics slowly while not fully spelling it out for them. It allows the player to keep their agency and sense of discovery, but also doesn’t allow them to get frustrated because the solutions themselves aren’t too difficult, and some good perception will lead them to the answer. Now granted, there are a few moments in this game that are still cryptic, I won’t deny that. However, the fortune teller pretty much removes any possibility of being stuck in this game. Essentially an in-game guide, you can pay the fortune teller to give you a hint about what to do next, or specific points of interest you might want to look into doing. You do have to pay 10 to 30 rupees for this info, but considering just how generous LTTP is with money, you won’t need to worry about spending them to progress in the game. It’s this sort of resource that allows the player to steadily progress without getting stuck for too long outside of dungeons. Considering the time this game came out, strategy guides and hotlines you could call for help with games would’ve been an easy solution that would’ve provided more revenue for Nintendo. Yet they decided to add the Fortune Teller into LTTP so players could always know what to do, where to go, and other tidbits of helpful info and insight to make the playing experience as smooth as possible. I deeply respect the decision, and I am glad they did this, it probably allowed many players over the years to enjoy the game that much more. With that said, any issue of the game being too cryptic to figure out is pretty much eliminated, a flaw the previous two games had that LTTP doesn’t, a gigantic plus for LTTP.

Dungeons this time around feel a lot more familiar to the rest of the Zelda series. Zelda 1 and Zelda 2 certainly had maze-like dungeons, though they relied a lot more on overpopulated enemy placements and cheap tricks to create difficulty. LTTP on the other hand is much more focused on puzzles and figuring out where to go by using your resources carefully. Unlike the previous entries as well, LTTP designs its dungeons in a way that prevents you from having to leave or reset the dungeon if you do something incorrectly, they’re incredibly interconnected and have a plethora of keys for the player to use so they can eventually find the right path. As I mentioned before though, LTTP is much more focused on puzzle-solving within the dungeons than combat. One example is the Ice Palace, while it’s undeniable this dungeon has a rather annoying gimmick and plenty of enemy encounters, the puzzle revolving around finding buttons to open doors, navigating the slick terrain, and the last puzzle involving you pushing a block down to the bottom floor and then going around the dungeon to get to the other side to push the correct block down when the conditions are right feel very tightly designed and clean cut. LTTP is also incredibly open-ended, allowing you to do dungeons out of order to get a specific item before tackling another dungeon which could make it much easier. Let’s use the Ice Palace again as an example, the only item you need to complete this dungeon is the fire rod. So you’ll have to go to Skull Woods before going to the Ice Palace of course. However, if you decide to do Swamp Palace to get the Hookshot, and then do the Thieves hideout, you can go to Misery Mire before Skull Woods. Doing so gets you the cane of Somaria, which allows you to use magic to create a block you can use freely, and has the same properties as a block with a few fun additional capabilities such as throwing it, or discharging it to create four projectiles to hit switches and enemies. If you go to the Ice Palace after receiving the Cane of Somaria, you can skip the last puzzle entirely by just placing a block on the button. The design of these dungeons allows for more than one solution to solve them, and LTTP allows players to mostly go about the dungeons in many different sequences which can lead to an entirely different experience each time. While it’s true the dungeons are numbered like Zelda 1 and have a recommended order of doing them, you don’t have to. I’m glad LTTP took the freedom that Zelda 1 allowed but made it much more valuable to the player by making earlier dungeons much easier. While the dungeons do get progressively harder and more complex in layout and enemies as well, it’s not too difficult that it would be inconceivable for even a newer player to accomplish this, which I appreciate and gives the game a lot of replayability in this aspect.

Last thing I have yet to go over are the Heart Pieces. Heart Pieces were introduced in LTTP as well, and I think they were a smart decision mostly. In the prior two games, you would get Heart Containers, increasing your maximum life as soon as you found one. Zelda 1 also gave you Heart Containers when you defeated a boss, which LTTP also does. The difference is that Heart Containers outside bosses were basically broken up into four pieces, finding four gives you a Heart Container. The reason I think ultimately this was a good idea is it simply makes the game more justifiable to play. In the originals, there’s certain areas and screens you can ignore entirely because there’s nothing of interest there, so it’s just a waste of time. In LTTP, due to the higher abundance of worthwhile items to find, specifically Heart Pieces, it not only makes exploring a lot more valuable, but it also allows for a lot less waste. Even the minigames in LTTP are worth doing because you can get a Heart Piece. Health is valuable in Zelda games, and for completionists it’s even better because the game is diversifying how you obtain your upgrades. Zelda 1? Find a cave, get a Heart Container every single time. Zelda 2? Find a random tile on the map and get a Heart Container. LTTP? Do this puzzle, play this minigame, find a way to this area to get the Heart Piece, use your items to get it etc. LTTP allows for itself to essentially take more risks in design because the game will always be able to grant the player a reason to do it in the first place with Heart Pieces. But also, since Heart Pieces are in this in-between of important and not so important, and are also very high in quantity, it allows players to choose what they want and don’t want to do much easier. If there’s a Heart Piece that’s frustrating to grab, the player can skip it and have solace in the fact there’s plenty more to get to increase your health. It’s not a full-encompassing positive though since the creation of Heart Pieces could feel like padding, bloated, and annoying compared to the previous 2 games that feel much more generous in hindsight because you get an instant health upgrade, even if they're optional. The issue is, Zelda 1 and 2 did nothing unique with these Heart Containers, you just find them and move on. LTTP always creates value with an item that arguably has less value than the Heart Containers. They always allow for a small puzzle to be made, a minigame to play, or an obstacle to overcome. It's engaging, it’s diverse, and it’s fun. I’m glad later Zelda games continued to keep the Heart Pieces, because from here-on, how they’re rewarded and obtained simply become better and better since their inception. Even in the first game introduced in, they’re executed very well and feel like a worthwhile addition!

Now for some smaller points I couldn’t really dedicate an entire paragraph to. I love the sprite work in this game, it’s not exactly the most expressive besides Link, but it’s top-notch. A lot of these monster designs really came to life with this game, and I think a lot of how these enemies were designed moving forward oftentimes use LTTP as a reference point. The map in this game is fantastic It's incredibly detailed and showcases points of interests and dungeons remarkably well so the player won’t get lost. It’s a far cry from Zelda 1’s terrible map, and much better than Zelda 2’s map because it has detail, it has personality, and it’s a very accurate depiction of Hyrule! I enjoy the antagonist not being Ganon for the first time in a Zelda game, well at least initially. Agahnim feels very intimidating and powerful, even though his boss fight is relatively easy, he’s certainly an imposing antagonist that was a nice change of pace in a while. I also love Ganon in this game when he’s revealed, probably my favorite design of classic Ganon, he’s also just charming because he calls Link “lad”. It’s such a tiny detail, but Ganon calling Link lad doesn’t feel like it’s from a place of disrespect, honestly it feels to me like Ganon is somewhat impressed by this young man being able to overpower him. I might be reaching a bit here, but this Ganon feels a lot more respectable despite destroying two entire worlds practically, yet he doesn’t underestimate or talk down to Link, he absolutely views him as a worthy adversary. I like the idea of the seven maidens, though I think games like Ocarina of Time do it way better, but not a bad start. I also enjoyed how Zelda appears at the start and asks Link for help through telekinesis. It’s a small detail again, but hints at Zelda’s affinity for magic that later Zelda games, like Ocarina of Time once again, delve into deeper, and especially a game like Breath Of The Wild. Unfortunately, Zelda just like Zelda 1 and 2 has barely any presence here, but I think it’s also a step in the right direction for her. Really most NPC’s in this game are charming, not exactly well-written, but definitely makes the world feel more alive. I enjoy all the treasures in this game, especially when there’s bundles of 4 or 5 chests in one given room and you get to open them one-by-one. It’s something that’s incredibly satisfying and fun that later Zelda games would also do, for LTTP it’s especially gratifying, especially with that little jingle it always plays. Sound design is superb here, it’s very unique, but there’s nothing here that feels out of place or annoying like Zelda 2, everything is balanced well and doesn’t grate on the ears. The entire OST is fantastic! I really love Kakariko Village a song that every future Kakariko in Zelda would use, I love the Hyrule field in this game as well, the SNES really made this song feel more heroic and hopeful. My favorite song in the entire game though is Majestic Castle, this song is only played in two areas in the whole game, the tutorial, and the Castle Tower after obtaining the Master Sword. This song has an air of seriousness and danger to it, it really encapsulates the tone and situation of LTTP. It’s incredibly apt especially after seeing your uncle die in the castle sewers, this game isn’t necessarily light-hearted, but not so serious that it can’t also be fun or whimsical. Majestic Castle is definitely my favorite, it also just has this great atmosphere to it with the rain you can hear in the background, it’s magical really, especially if it’s the first time you’re hearing it. Last thing I’ll mention is the magic meter which I really liked. Powerful magical items and spells now have a resource you need to manage in order to use, but the game does a great job at supplying it when you need it, and is rather generous with the drops in the first place. It’s a substantial improvement from Zelda 2 because the Magic Meter isn’t used to heal yourself, it doesn’t cost nearly as much to use most magical items. Rather it’s more for puzzle-solving and convenience like using the powerful medallions to clear an annoying room of enemies, it helps the game makes sure you’ll always have magic when you need it too, or else it’d be as bad as Zelda 2, but LTTP is just always making sure the player has what they need to do things, kind of similar to how Zelda 1 did it, but is much more attentive.

The Legend of Zelda: A Link to The Past is a masterpiece. It’s one of my favorite games ever made, and the quality still holds up to this day. I’ve played this game hundreds of times through the randomizer and vanilla playthroughs, and the charm still persists for me even now. I’ll end up playing this game for the remainder of my life solely due to all the memories attached to it, and it helped me establish a lot of important relationships in my life to get a bit personal for a second, Disregarding that though, the game is just polished extensively, it’s got a very open-ended design, tons of improvements from the last two games, implementing tons of ideas that are executed the best here even now. It corrects all the wrongs, it pushes Zelda to what it is today with the formula, the lore, the heart pieces, the magic meter, and the master sword. Introduced so many iconic songs as well like Kakariko and the Fairy Fountain theme. Without Link to The Past, Zelda would not be what it is now, and I’m forever thankful for this game for that, and will always love it. Thank you all for reading my longer LTTP review, the Zelda Marathon has a new king for now, but next up is Link’s Awakening! I played the Switch remake on release, but it didn’t grab me. I'm gonna be playing Link’s Awakening DX and hopefully it’ll pull me in this time! After Link’s Awakening DX, I’m going to take a break from the Zelda marathon for a bit to finish up some reviews, and finish playing Banjo Kazooie. As soon as I hit the 3D entries for Zelda, I’ll also be slowing down, but we’ll get there when we get there. Thank you all for reading, and I’ll see you all in the next one!

Reyn’s review - Steinco’s review - Dunebot's review

Alright, alright. I have been very generous towards the EA DLC machine in the last handful of my expansion reviews. Those were packs that I use in my everyday usage of this game, so naturally I’m going to recommend them to whoever cares. You want to know which pack I’ve literally only used once and then never again? I think you know where this is going.

Like I said, I’ve purchased all of these due to a self-imposed challenge and while this game pack does include new content for a variety of things, it’s just so circumstantial whether or not you’ll get any enjoyment out of it. Selvadorada is a new destination world meant for vacationing only, meaning that you can only visit it in the same vein as Granite Falls from the previous Outdoor Retreat expansion. What does this entail? Oh, you’re just a tourist who shows up to tomb raid in some randomly generated temple. Oops. 💀

And uh, that’s really it!! Yeah, not really getting any use out of this unless you want to play as Lara Croft, so there isn’t really much to talk about here. You can learn more about the culture here by interacting with the Sims who do live there, but just like the other tourist destinations, it quickly becomes your Sim’s entire personality. The Selvadoradian, and Batuu (When I fucking get you, Star Wars pack.) interactions just fill up your dialogue options no matter what, it’s actually kind of annoying. Leveling up the Archaeology skill means that your Sim will be bombarded with requests to authenticate random relics that you can’t turn off. So, they’ll just get their inventory filled forever with random junk. And to be honest, I really can’t attest for how well the inspired location, food, or interactions come across because I am not Latin American myself. From what I understand, it's a huge mix of several different countries confined into this one town. I do not know how accurately things like the Rumbaism dance represent what they were going for here with their first attempt at showcasing a culture outside of Europe/USA, but I’m pretty sure running amok in a foreign city where you are a visitor isn't really smiled upon like, anywhere. It's definitely created from a tourist's point of view only, which is likely disappointing for a lot of people.

As for the temple raiding itself, it’s rather boring. You can manually progress through the jungle with a few transitional windows of choice which sometimes net you random collectibles, but it’s always the same jungle no matter how many times you visit. Sometimes some paths are just blocked off for some reason, meaning you’ll have to leave and come back to get them unblocked. There is only one temple that randomly generates new traps and treasures every day. Passing through these obstacles is just a two click process of “investigating it”, then selecting whatever option has the green thumbs up and that’s basically all it amounts to. Repetition, baybee, let’s fucking goo!! I hunted for this one treasure for so long, it kind of felt like RNG was holding me hostage at gunpoint.

Completing the aspirations added from this pack will just net you better treasure rewards and better moodlets while at the damn museum, so there’s really no point in getting them at all. Skeletons can appear but they aren’t as interesting as they should be. I’d love to do crazy shit with them but it’s impossible, therefore they suck!!

It would be way nicer if you could actually live here since it is quite nice to look at compared to the rest of the game, but you can’t. It’s not that it’s broken or glitchy, it runs perfectly fine. It’s just fundamentally boring and is so segregated from everything else that you could play the game everyday completely forgetting that it’s installed in the first place. Genuinely the best thing that it added was this portable water bottle thing that instantly refills your Hygiene meter, which I use quite often because I am incredibly lazy.

At least I finally met Sans Undertale.

I want to state my purpose here up front: I want to praise Slave Zero X because I think it’s the kind of game I’d like to see more of made. It’s a genuinely impressive package, but I also think there are a lot of glaring issues with the title that will make many people hate it. So let’s do a compliment sandwich and do some constructive criticism.

Slave Zero X is, if nothing else, oozing with style. The art is full with biopunk monstrosities and sexy twinks. The music is brimming with cyberpunk arpeggios, wailing guitars, and thumping breakbeat. The spritework is beautiful and intricate, and watching this game in motion (especially a skilled player) can be a thing of beauty. You can unlock special shaders, which I think is a fun touch. If nothing else. This is a small easter egg, but I also think it’s really cool that the levels in the Episode Enyo prequel are actually based on the 3D environments you move through in this game.

I also love the boldness of its narrative. It is unabashedly gay, for one, but I also think there is a deeper subtext of sex and gender here, of being at war with ones own body and seeking to reshape it. There is also an anarchist bent to its politics, which tie into Hegelian dialectics of power and rejects all authorities it can, be it government or gods. I don’t want to make it sound like it’s super highbrow. It’s all over the place. The lore bites range from some silly notes to eerie eschatological poetry. It’s very brash and loud. There’s a vulgarity to it, both in its satire and in its visuals, that feels like this hideous, pulsating mass of raw anger.

Okay, let’s change gears. Most people who say they like hard games are kind of lying, including me. What they mean is that they want games that are hard in specific ways. They want games that challenge them in familiar ways. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people say, “I like hard games, but this is just unfun”; sometimes it’s coming from my own mouth. Games like Volgarr the Viking come to mind, unrelenting and unorthodox challenge boxes. Ugh, I’ll try to keep this short. The point is that “hardness” is a nebulous and subjective thing that is seen as something that we can mark objectively and quantitatively, even though the exact ways in which a game is hard or unfair depends on so many variables intersecting. I’m not making a novel point here, but that’s why some games get lauded for their difficulty and others are scorned.

I think that’s what Slave Zero X is. A game that is hard in ways people usually don’t want. That’s partially because of its ambition: it wants to be a fighting game and an action game in one. I think Slave Zero X wants to be Strider 2 but ends up being more like Ninja Warriors Return. And hey, that’s not a bad thing at all. What I mean is that combat in Slave Zero X, like in Ninja Warriors Return, tends to be very flat. You can launch and juggle people in the air, sure, but the majority of the game is forward movement. I really think the game could have done with a lot more verticality, but that also might have resulted in new issues. But it also ends up feeling a bit repetitive at times.

But if you run through this game mashing the light attack button, you will eventually hit a brick wall, and wonder why the game is punishing you. That’s partially because the game isn’t very good at communicating to you what’s going on. The tutorial is quite bad; it just throws a dozen pages of text explaining the mechanics at you once and then sets you loose. But it goes deeper than that, I think. For example, you have a parry that you execute by pressing a direction toward the attack, but since it has no animation and is in a very small window, it’s often not clear when or why you’re missing the mark with your timing. You get a score at the end of sections, but it's not super clear why you got a better or worse score, which should be one of the best ways to communicate to a player how they're doing. And while there’s a training room, all that really helps you with is comboing. And comboing does feel great here, it really does. But that’s also not the thing you need the most practice on in order to beat the game.

I think the key issue with Slave Zero X comes down to encounter design. One of the common action game design paradigms right now is a style that sees players progress through a series of arenas where enemies funnel in as you fight through them for some amount of time before eventually moving on. This is often paired with a combat system that produces self-sustaining feedback loops (recovering health or ammo, that is) that sort of dictates the flow of combat. As pointed out by one Campster, this kind of structure often lead to combat feeling pretty samey, as the pace of combat is entirely determined by the player and thus does not often get disrupted. But this trope has its place, and can be done well, but in order for it to be fun for long periods of time, you often need to be introducing new mechanics and enemies on a pretty frequent basis, which doesn’t really happen here.

Slave Zero X’s arenas end up feel awfully repetitive. New enemies aren’t introduced often, and you have to fight hundreds of them. The screen will often be filled with dozens of identical enemies for you to hack away through, which can be okay as fodder, I guess, but these masses can combo you, often for a long time. If you don’t have Burst up, you just have to lie back and take it for however long they juggle you. And getting combo’d is one of those classic things thats fun to do to an enemy but never for an enemy to do to you. It’s no coincidence that Slave Zero X is at it’s best when you’re fighting a small number of enemies rather than in its massive cavalcades of fodder.

A lot of the tougher enemies have attacks with insanely fast windups that lead into combos; even in a one-on-one fight I couldn’t really counter them consistently. They’re so fast that I think they may be literally impossible to parry reliably, and even if they’re not, they might as well be for most players. This is all exacerbated by the encounter design, which means that will all the enemies being thrown at you, it is often hard to tell what’s hitting you, let alone predict it and counter.

So when you’re not successfully juggling armored cops and parrying like the cyberninja you’re supposed to be, you’re often getting bodied and juggled in a way that makes you feel powerless. The result is a game that will frustrate most players. I’m not going to backseat game design and act like I know exactly how to fix it, though I definitely have ideas. But that is the reality: this is a game that’s hard in a way that many people will reject. It’s unfortunate, because I think with changes, it could be a much stronger and approachable game with a wider appeal.

But despite all these issues, I can’t say I think it’s a bad game. It’s a mess, yes, but it’s got so much style, so much ambition, and it’s combat does feel great when it works. During the right boss fight or the right set up of enemies, it feels like a dynamic flurry of blades, and you’ve somehow mastered it at the center of it all. While you’re not given a lot of opportunities for customization of your kit, your kit feels good to begin with. X-Shou feels sort of sticky and rigid in a way that is very novel, making in a distinctive feeling combat where a lot of your movement is done through attacks and dashes rather than running or walking. You juggle and bounce and parry and slash and gib fascists. It can be a blast.

Again, this is a game I want to see more games like. I want to see games that take inspiration from the arcade era, that are ambitious in their design, that go hogwild on their fiction, that inexplicably reboot forgotten titles as completely different games, that are gay and radical and flashy and deranged, that are extra in every way possible, that are like Slave Zero X is.

Does this game have a Double Jump? Yes, a triple jump even! Sadly, it is only jumping out of the water and doesn't have that same feel as most other double jumps.

Finny the Fish & the Seven Waters is a kind of a fishing adventure game, except you are the fish. You play as Finny (who has a dope ass design), who is tasked by the Kappa to collect statues of the Masters to help expel the darkness that is rising in the waters. This involves exploring areas and doing a unique task from each master.

You have a hunger meter, so you need to eat other fish along the way, and some will try to eat you. However, Finny is a special fish who has an infinite gullet and get any things twice his size. If something is harder to catch, you gotta waggle your stick to "calm it down" and them swallow it. There are scales you can collect which will increase your jaw strength because you can't just eat bigger fish out the gate. Beware though, there are very convincing lures that can catch you, and then you are on the other side of a fishing minigame in which you must break the line, or unhook yourself. Breaking the line involves making it red, then slapping it with your tail a couple times, which will reward you with a lure to look at in the menu (you can also see the fish you ate). You can unhook the lure by jumping out of the water and wriggling it out, but you will not get the lure by doing this.

The music is also just beautiful. The Title Screen with its horns and piano, my gorsh.

The game gets a little frustrating at the end because some of the prey fish that eat at you are annoying to "fight", especially the Ray, that thing will just infinite combo you basically. The final boss is also a little annoying, but you can stock up extra lives that just full heal you on death so its fine.

But yeah, overall this game is a really fucking neat PS2 game that I dont think anyone thinks about.