10004 Reviews liked by LordDarias


"Would a mentally ill person do THIS?"
[plays all the way through Fallout: New Vegas four times in two weeks]
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"Every time you play this I feel like you're doing something completely different. I've never seen that Casino mission [Dead Money]. How much stuff is in this game?"
-Conwife

Joke's on her because I'm not doing different stuff. For 14 years I've been making Primm Slim the sheriff of Primm. Good karma, bad karma, how about a yee-haw for law and order in the fine town of ERROR: TOKEN NOT FOUND.

Obviously there's no shortage of Fallout: New Vegas glazers, but you're in luck because I truly cannot express how much I love this game. I have been pulled back into its vortex many, many times; if nobody got me, New Vegas got me. One of the most important games in my life, and one that I look forward to replaying in the future despite claiming to my loved ones that I'm done.
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"I sort of tasted human flesh once. Mmm mmm good. Tell me all your secrets."
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MESSAGE FOR PHIL SPENCER, TODD HOWARD, AND ANYONE ELSE IN CHARGE OF FALLOUT:
Why does Fallout 3 have a 4K update but not New Vegas? Both got the FPS Boost. What gives? Also if you wanted to license the Fallout IP to other studios again that would be cool. Plus who needs Spider-Man games when you have gamebryo Y-spam climbing? More Fallout! Get on it!




I don't think I'm able to rate this one, in part because I'm eternally torn between the content of the DLC as-is and the numerous statements Joshua Sawyer has made about what went wrong and how much he regrets the final product.

Honest Hearts is a strange DLC. There's simultaneously a lot to chew on and also barely anything. Compared to its immediate predecessor it feels like a brisk walk versus a marathon jog. Normally I'd take it from the top and walk you through it, but... Fuck it let's just go in dry.

HH is more of a metaphorical or ideological tale, not relying on the explicit text so much as the implicit ideas left between the gaps. Contrast Dead Money and it's actually surprising how little there is outside of the chats with Daniel and Joshua.

The core of it is simple: Facing an invasion by the militaristic White Legs tribe, the New Canaanite Mormon missionary Daniel feels that it's prudent to evacuate the Sorrows tribe for Zion National Park. Opposite him is Joshua Graham, the ex-Legate of Caesar's Legion (the Burned Man from NV's various rumours/graffito) and current acting chief of the much more combat-capable Dead Horses tribe. Graham believes that, given the violent nature of the wastes, it's a far more sensible option to have the Sorrows stand and fight - they have, after all, lived in Zion for one hundred years and should defend their home.

It's easy to read this as a white saviour narrative, and I can see why.

It is unfortunately the nature of CRPGs to make the player be the sole determinant in conflicts that arise, which in hindsight explains why so many of them are either milquetoast or involve the player by default. Naturally, to resolve the conflict in HH, you must interface with either Graham or Daniel.
The problem here is threefold: Graham and Daniel are both white men - though Daniel was intended to be an Asian man in development - which gives the setting some surface-level unpleasant implications.
Secondly, they are the only NPCs who have a voice in the story. The two actual tribes are background noise, and while you do get a follower from each they're mostly in their own bubble.
Thirdly, while the developers did take care not to draw influence from real world native cultures, the PS3's god-awful memory limits meant that each of the three tribes had to have the same skin colour, resulting in them being either pale white or very visibly Native American - something Josh Sawyer took responsibility and apologized for.

That all said, I don't necessarily think Honest Hearts is a white savior narrative. Despite accidentally falling into it a few times, I'd say it's definitely making an attempt to deconstruct the trope.

Popular fandom narrative has seen Graham painted as the unreasonable one and Daniel as the reasonable one, which is what the story seems to be doing on the surface, but I've come to disagree.
In the past, Graham paid a single visit to the Dead Horses tribe and inadvertently warped their entire culture. No longer just a tribe, they venerated him as a god and sought to follow in his warmongering ways.
Daniel ostensibly wants to prevent this, but it's also clear if you interrogate him that his actions aren't based entirely in altruism. The player has to antagonize him and finger-wag him for his pacifism, meaning 99% of people probably don't see it, but doing so causes him to flip his lid and reveals more of his motivations. In short, the Sorrows are a vessel for him to seek redemption because he feels he never did enough for the previous parties he attempted to aid.

That last bit, right there, is where I start having issues with Honest Hearts.

The writers for NV are very well-read compared to 3 or 4's, and it shows in the subject matter they bring to the forefront in NV and its DLCs. The problem here, however, is that they're still white Americans. "Write what you know" worked well for them, but with HH they decided to bring Mormonism into the picture. Now, I could go into detail about how that faith is rife with homophobia, sexism and racism, but I'd probably be preaching to the choir.
No, my actual issue is that neither Joshua nor Daniel actually seem Mormon. I don't know if some wires got crossed or what, but the way they're written comes across as distinctly Jewish? You might've seen people over the years reference Daniel's "catholic guilt", but his very specific brand of guilt stemming from his self-perceived inaction in the face of other people's suffering honestly has far more in common with Judaism than Mormonism. Sure, he and Graham talk a lot about righteousness and the Lord, but little attention is given to the idea of the two getting into heaven for their perceived goodness while the idea of cleansing themselves by doing good pops up a ton.

Branching off of that, problems begin to arise due to the tribes themselves lacking any voice in the plot. This following observation is so common that even Youtube Commenters can notice it, but the Sorrows adapt so well to militaristic life that one can't help but answer if they'd been considering it for a long time. This we will never know, because the one major Sorrows NPC is more occupied with her husband than the tribe. While they also adapt well to their new home in the event of evacuation, it's made clear that many of them regret it - but you only find this out in the ending slides.
Conversely, I don't think enough attention is given to the Dead Horses tribe. Sure, the Sorrows are important, whatever, but the narrative doesn't contrast Daniel's interference in their lives with Graham's at all. They're essentially set dressing, and arguably mean less to the plot than individual Sorrows. To even get a smidge of narrative parallel you need to track down the (admittedly excellent) Survivalist's logs

Similarly, the whole framing of the Sorrows potentially 'losing their innocence' for partaking in war has always rubbed me the wrong way. As they lack a voice in the narrative, Daniel pretty much tells you this and you're not really allowed to challenge it in any meaningful way. It comes across as deeply infantilizing, and the tribes themselves frequently using conlang and you-no-take candle speech just makes me raise an eyebrow.

Lastly, while I do so deeply admire the attempt to have a "good vs. good" conflict in a CRPG for once, it runs into a wall because it's phenomenally hard to actually get justifications from Daniel. As I said up above, he only reveals his motives if deliberately antagonized, and said antagonism also requires adopting a pacifistic stance - a ridiculous concept in a game where you kill 50% of all living creatures you see. Otherwise the player is meant to take Daniel's motivations at face value, while Graham is far more upfront about what he wants and why you should do it.

...That all said, however, I ultimately like that Honest Hearts has no unambiguously good endings. The only peace Daniel and Graham can find is if you kill them, and even seemingly 'good' paths lead to them feeling troubled and stricken with regret. My personal favourite is the path where the Sorrows are militarized and Graham is not cautioned on the merits of restraint, for he essentially turns them into another Legion, having come full circle.

I wish I had more to say about Honest Hearts, but coming back to it I'm actually surprised at how little is in it? It took longer to write this review than it did for me to get the Survivalist stuff, do the smidge of sidequests, and beat the main story.

[Wow, I use "that all said" a lot.]

Tell me… Do you ever feel a strange sadness as dusk falls?

i struggle to compose my exact feelings in a review format as they remain scattered and formless even to myself, but i'm going to try my best. a Zelda title plagued with frustrating movement, trampling its own rules, and somewhat awkward pacing, yet has established itself as a poetic tapestry, a metaphor of sacrifice and responsibility along with linearity full of intent, and has made it my personal favourite entry thus far. there were moments where my misunderstandings of a puzzle or dungeon navigation lead to my repeating entire gauntlets of rooms that had me teetering into "gripping my controller in rage" territory, yet the artistic elements of the world (atmosphere, design, score, writing) always kept my attention; most problems i discovered were my own misreadings of given contexts and poor applications of practical thinking, though directional movement when clinging to a wall was designed in a lab to be excruciating and incorrect 99% of the time.

within twiprincess we see emergent gameplay and narrative themes which set expectations for future entries, as well as easily the most inventive selection of tools available to Link across its playtime, with the spinner and its application in and outside the Arbiter's Grounds (especially during its boss encounter) absolutely captivating. to praise the tools is not to draw attention away from the focus on incredible sword techniques utilised in battle, skills which must be earnt by training below one of the coolest characters to ever appear in the franchise, each and every one seeing regular use in my encounters. Link lives and breathes his swordplay in twiprincess and in his rising to Ordon's — and by extension Hyrule's — challenges, he surfaces from the other side as a seasoned veteran of myriad dark horrors, a far cry from the kind-eyed farmboy.

Zelda entries have always seen themes of maturity, coming of age, and extinguished innocence, though twiprincess' use of an evil which directly acts to steal away children's lives, the very future itself, sets the tone for the coming events. Link is very unsubtly being teed up to become town swordsman Rusl's apprentice and eventual replacement in the village hierarchy, a fresh-faced youngster who is content to pay his dues within the bounds of the forest. it's when the idyllic reality of his farm life is shattered upon the jarring kidnapping of the children that the game truly begins in full upon the assumption of Link's wolf/twilight form. i have heard a common criticism that this prologue segment is boring or carries on too long, but i argue the simplistic normalcy and mundanity (not dissimilar to how the SoL segments of Higurashi make me feel) that twiprincess chooses to immerse the player into Link's perspective compliments his characterisation, which is some of his strongest across the franchise.

touching further on the forceful alien transformation and all the gameplay quirks which come with it, i feel the body horror aspects of both Link's and Midna's malformations goes understated or brushed aside within discussion regarding the game (as far as i can see). it's Link's direct personal interaction with the darkness which threatens Hyrule, a symbolic chain affixed to his paw which resounds with each step, which fortifies his submission to Midna's assistance with a fatalistic seed planted. Midna herself must witness the downfall of her tribe firsthand, rendered into meandering savage beasts as she is powerless to halt the advance of some power-drunk servant. our hero, tainted. a princess, defiled and robbed. yet both tread onward, so that this power must not be misused again.

thank you twiprincess for my new favourite Hyrule Castle rendition, my distaste into utter infatuation with the Oocca, and the most incredible set pieces and artistic vision to me across the entire franchise. it casts aside the past that came before it and steps into the light of the future, risking everything to become something truly unique and special. the once cultivated Kakariko has become a ravaged place, the Zora have lost their monarch, the Sheikah are all but blotted from history's weave. yet there is always time to atone, to mend. a sword wields no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage.

“...We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win, and the others, too.”

- United States President John F. Kennedy's "We choose to go to the Moon", 1962 speech.

"Magnificent Speech. Ain't it? But how is it relevant?"

“Uhh well sir. Kinda evokes a similar ideology about our mission. Ya know in Outer Wilds(OW). Plus our newest astronaut for the program has some interesting logs to see. I think you should see them.”

“Hmmm. Reports are only forwarded to me urgently for outstanding experiences. And you say he has one?”

“Without a doubt sir, I think it may shed some light on why the speech is given among other things. Though do mind his first day. The results were… not pretty on initial impressions. He also tends to label our project as a game/simulation at times while referencing relative sci-fi films… Which is odd, but not harmful.”

“Hmph, I’ll be the judge of that. He better not write anything concrete. Due to the secretive nature, it’s imperative to keep things close to the chest so to speak. If I find SPOILERS in the above mediums. I’ll expel him post-haste and zero remorse.”

Log 1 - An extremely short slow, boring beginning to a grand adventure

Initially I thought learning about space and whatnot boring. Yet decades later on I couldn't help but amusingly remember those naive days. Here I am weeks after joining the program. And I must say The Outer Wilds is odd. I signed what felt like books of NDAs, and the only thing I can definitively concerning this secretive game is that it evokes a whirlwind of cathartic emotions. Steadily rising higher despite its demure appearance. Steam succinctly describes; “open world mystery about a solar system trapped in an %^&(%^& loop.” With bolded phrases such as: “Welcome to the Space Program! Mysteries of the Solar System… A World that changes over time and lastly grab your intergalactic gear!" Statements sound interesting at a glance, but nothing to entice everyone except those with an interest going farther than our little globe in real life. Pointing at the biggest question of 'how,' 'what' & 'why' during your stay here are primary motivators to unearth the beautiful diamond. And I must whisper after trying for a small amount of occasions…

My first impressions weren’t positive. I love getting to the action real quick. So when I'm delegated to walking and reading early on. Doesn’t excite me to move on especially since I already want to progress past the atmosphere. And usually, there’s a clear prerogative of what to do. Here there’s not a hand-holding overarching narrative to follow consistently. You have to build your own goals and discover what lies in the vastness of the universe a bit. A central 'plot' does exist though, so don't worry if you think this is purely a sandbox. Moreover, upon finishing the basic tutorials on thrusters, scouters, signalscope and finally getting the launch codes. Took 30 minutes flat and I was ready to sleep. However, once I entered my ship and said goodbye to my friends. Activating thrusters and Yahoo! We're in space! Didn’t have difficulty navigating the solar system… Until I ventured to a distant foreboding sphere. Where my breath was taken away and silenced. And my previous hurdles are eradicated. Wish I could march back in a hot instant to slap my past self silly for thinking ridiculous nitpicks. Because I’m so glad to be wrong.

“If it wasn’t for the last sentence. I would’ve ordered you to flag him for disposal.”

“B-b-boss?”

“Nevermind. The 2nd record better impress. Or else…”

Log 2 - Appreciating the fear of the unknown

I’ll try to describe my emotions on the first planet. Any interstellar film or game worth its salt needs to evoke the presence of horror, hopelessness, anxiety, and tension. We can use examples from earlier works like Alien(1979) by Ridley Scott or Mass Effect(2007) series. The former needs no introduction where we see struggling survivors encountering a deadly alien threat. Managing to keep our suspense intact and the ‘surprise’ of what occurs in the future moving. Among other elements of horror such as fear. The latter presents a decent spread of hostile and friendly species to converse. Yet the traits differ. You never know what to expect despite talking to them. The element of ‘surprise,’ is inherent in the above aspects. Thus I am treated to a host of emotions I find unsettling. But not off-putting. The closest example I think is during a segment of Independence Day(1996). Where the protagonist must venture off on a final mission. Not a spoiler, most films have this action during the last act. A final hurrah. I felt a sense of uncertainty despite cautiously maneuvering my small vessel in an unknown place. Feeling lost and embracing the zero-g is a sense I felt intimately. The sentiment is further connected to a growing climb of wonder and excitement. Upon discovering something I found incredible and increased my resolve to learn further.

“Boss, you’re smiling.”

“What?! Nonono bits of food stuck in my mouth, had to move my teeth a bit.”

A cough is heard.

“A-anyway let’s move onto the 3rd report please.”

Log 3 - Fleeting wonder and magically enraptured from beginning, middle, and end

One of the main pillars is Wonder and magic is everywhere. The sensation of actually embarking on a solo declaration is fulfilling. Discovering new facets you seldom knew before is equally as powerful. Encountering and struggling against different varied biomes is a treat both planet-wise and in astral territory. Mirrors our lived life in making goals and acting upon them in a unfamiliar environment. Ya know the first moment you see snow? And you wanna build a snowman immediately? Remember those memories. The awe and jaw drops are plentiful. I’m reminded of the second when I first became enchanted by Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace(1999). Not because of the cool action sequences as a kid, but the big ol question mark on my face witness Tatooine. A harsh desert with a cornucopia of species living around. Beyond the nearly unlivable conditions, my eyes were glued to the racers speeding along the canyon highways in a deadly race. Different from NASCAR, the Olympics, horse racing and plenty vehicular competitions out there. The phenomenon never escaped as I climbed higher in age brackets. Games and films both share a wonderful quality to capture something different, and unique. We gaze and transport ourselves into a fictional world to our liking, dislike and nuances in between. Exploring, discovering, being lost, trails connecting pieces of lore. And starting anew, reborn with the knowledge gained. A gratifying cycle emerges. I can’t escape. But do I need to? Hmmm…

Capturing the immediate and prolonged interest of any individual varies. The dullness I experienced initially reversed course upon investing additional time. Helped by a strong point. Every 22 minutes a [censored] occurs. [Re%^&*ing] my character with intact launch codes. And crucial wisdom gained previously. Ready to start another venture. I wasn’t enthused on the mechanic early on. But after hours passed by unnoticed, I realized it's an innovative narrative helper. Demonstrating the consequences of our historical actions and what methods we can induce next. Not adhering to strictly player-centric design. The state of everything continues with or without our actions and causes self-reflection. The last point is significant. I’ll touch on it later as I dive into the process of elimination and frustration. On the opposite side, I calmly steered my cruiser to another location since the previous place scared me enough to not travel back there till I scrounged up extra courage. I traveled to a decently fast-moving object which I didn’t think was possible. Landed surprisingly safely. I was riding high on the accomplishment. Until I came upon an old recording. Turns out an ancient civilization left their findings! I learned a clue and after checking what I could, which isn’t a whole lot. I return to my vessel. Only to witness it’s not there! I recall what my translator deciphered revealing the cause. I facepalmed not registering the different data prior to later. I promptly yeeted myself into the sun to restart. What a horrible 2nd try. On my third attempt, I traveled to a fresh site.

You know the idiomatic expression the third time's the charm? Well let me tell you how it's true. I can’t dive into specifics of what I saw. In terms of relatability and vibes, I found it breathtaking. An animated film I still love today is called Treasure Planet(2002). A story about a young lad coming across stories of a cool wandering pirate with the ability to disappear with nary a trace. To the point he has amassed a great treasure. Enchanted by his tales, he resolves to follow in similar footsteps. I won’t discuss anymore, but if you splice the movie with Interstellar(2014)’s planetary discovery, with displayed awe in both protagonist's facial expressions. Then you can figure out what my face turned into. The sentiment is unsurpassed and instantly hooked me to delve deeper into the cosmos and what mysteries to unearth, understand, and utilize to the fullest extent. The magic of discovering other passages connecting to clues and answering my questions left me satisfied to a greater degree I would equate to circumspect. A notion I love to bits when connecting wonderful lorebuilding.

“Hmmm. I don't appreciate disclosing the exact minutes, but I'm happy he at least censored the important bits. To leave fresh greenies their own imagination.”

Gently smiling. The assistant silently passes the 4th transcript. Wondering if it was a trick of their eye, but they swear a slight smirk instantly emerged before vanishing. A blink if you miss it event.

Log 4 - For now a little step. Later, a giant leaps for lorebuilding

The fourth spot I journeyed to I would equate to a familiar segment from Interstellar(2014) except mixed with an animated film called Titan A.E(2000). Both deal in matters of heavy topics I won’t spoil. But it is deep and conjures mature themes. Enhancing OW’s careful lore building. Mirrors similar human fascination with space and what can we glean from minute information given to us using advanced technology. Using a suit and gadgets helps us to create a better picture. Although it can be hypothetical we can at least infer with evidence and prove claims. Therefore, I can’t help but smile whilst I'm reading texts of dialogue again where previously I thought was boring.

The genius of worldbuilding worth its salt is the ability to strongly capture an individual’s attention and let the user form their conclusions based on information given from religion, culture, laws, physics, and other info. There's merit in connecting. In video games, we discern this through dialogue given by NPCs and books we can read. Two elements work in tandem to enrich the player beyond the main plot. For better or worse, we identify an excess and perhaps too little in some cases. Here, a careful methodology concerning the non-handholding story and vital lore texts emerges. Maximized to the fullest effect I'm astounded to witness from a non-RPG. And I’ve played a decent amount removing the RPG element. What blows my mind further is the placement of lore exercised to the fullest limit. Knowledge is extremely instrumental in conducting further actions. Thereby the primary strengths result in the varied text. Ancients in humorous stories and hobbies full of quirks yet it doesn’t detract from their passion in their craft. Goals, missions, incentives, and purpose all become linked and shared. Far from piling an ever-stuffing pinata or treated to a plate made by a five-star restaurant. Rather familiar... a certain fella I watched growing up from Discovery channel. Dr. Michio Kaku who can break complex terms into explanations like I'm five format. With a dash of compelling interest. Then cooked to an extent I'm savoring the taste. With the power of my handy ship reports, I can connect lore automatically. Arrows lead me to my next destination based on evidence previously. And data entries compiling alternative bits to complete an informational packet. Categorized, neatly in concise portions of longer post-it notes. It is a miniature, but effective companion twisting the noggins in my brain not too hard unlike the Talos Principle. Disregard thinking it could be a chore. Quite the opposite.

Throwing out conventional design. From coding to world-building- constructing a trail that is rich, emotive helped by sound design, and purposeful. Yet it does not retain the intrinsic building blocks we usually associate with storytelling; the character ‘A,’ will detail information to us to character ‘B.’ We read text records instead. Some may see this as boring as hell as did I, early on. But stick with it, and you will see the splendor of their capabilities. The genius and creativity of the writings revolve back to the narrative, the curiosity. Then the question arises. What is the underlying incentive that moves the participant so much to continue? I’ll answer that by pointing to the sky beyond our planet and asking “What lies beyond outer space? And what else can we derive from there?” The incentives look plain, but usher in a tug-of-war gently luring me into the mystery and eating the delicious carrot. And it's funny because my philosophy teacher posited multiple questions to extrapolate from anything similar to the pursuit of education, and the limits of our current understanding of science. He used a pencil as an example. Why is it sharp? Why is the material wood? Can it be broken? What is the eraser made of? How long does it take to create a single pencil? What’s the cost? Why am I using a pencil instead of a pen? These questions can be applied coming across each concept or tangible stuff during a sweep in OW. Yet it doesn’t become a chore to look underneath every nook and cranny. Purpose and clues which lead to further clues and discoveries in a cyclical manner rewarding the patient and observer. Listening and understanding are key component blocks in understanding things greater than we initially perceive. Lean into the minimalistic design without being overbearing. There is enough to ride the fine line of not extracting over-complicated to the point of excess. And I 100% believe 99% of everything here is gold. Loan Verneau(Other designer) emphasizes the characteristics from a 2020 Noclip documentary.. “Minimalism is actually advantageous.”

“Boss, here’s some grub. You should eat ya know.”

“Yeah yeah don’t worry, I'll eat when I finish chronicle 5. Don’t worry.”

The assistant turns around, rolls his eyeballs around, and cheekily smirks as he watches his employer avidly reading more entries. He nonetheless hands him the fifth log.

Log 5 - Secrets, have secrets. And the critical usage of tools

Much in a minuscule vein of the Marvel Cinematic Universe(MCU) Avenger films, there’s always a layer behind a character or plot and usually you can apply the concept to films and videogames in reading behind the scenes or underneath the underneath. Underlying messages, themes, and possibly commentary on a variety of issues without implicitly being said. OW operates similarly. I follow breadcrumbs, I learn additional details, shifting the layers of my comprehension from literal, non-literal, lateral, etc. A delicate move that eases youngins and removes the over-complicated. Toeing the very fine edge of a black hole. Not descending entirely, but enough to make me struggle. My thinking process was in overdrive to determine various possible links. Frustration and impatience emanated from my head. Almost to the point I wanted to put this as a negative. But taking a deep breath, re-evaluating my options, the process of elimination, and a cool head kept my logical process running smoothly and not overheating such as a PC.

I hesitate to call this a 'puzzle' cause it's not. In the vein of Portal & Talos Principle. Where it is clear and linear of what you have to do. Definitely puzzle inspired. Elements through the environment in a non-intrusive manner. Designed in a way to be beginner-friendly yet as you gradually hit the end credits slowly ramp up. Not too cryptic and not too direct. Easy to connect the dots in my opinion. Forgive me for not enclosing the exact method or describing further, once again spoiler territory. But if you enjoy those ‘puzzles’ I mentioned earlier, then probably the process is favorable of how the developers implemented here. Tying to the lore and narrative. Enriching my overall experience, akin to pursuing an oasis in the desert after days of not eating or drinking. I was hungry, thirsty, and ravenous to continue. Here’s a hint, use the rumor and ship records to help you pinpoint possible solutions. It may not matter much early on but try to make it a habit to check. The results will surely surprise you.

Moreover, the tools gained are used to the fullest effect. You can attain most of them by equipping your suit. But also don’t forget about them! I can’t track the countless occasions I died forgetting to equip my gear. Don’t be a silly fool like me. Remember! It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this! A special craft, jetpack, scouter, translator, signalscope, A reliable suit equipped with an oxygen tank and fuel for the jets! You’ll need these essential tools before descending on new ground. Lest you die of lack of oxygen heh. The tools are a nice fusion mixing into the raw fun immediately. In expected and unexpected ways. I lost sight of my liner. Heh easy peasy, I use my jetpack to jettison slightly into the atmosphere where I can behold an overview of the planet I'm currently on. And it's fun wrestling with different forces of gravity. A past memory allowed me to soar freely, enjoying the freedom of zero-g. And testing the effects of denser gravity life. Is a super struggle to jump a mere foot. Such careful implementation, where physics and movement are acted upon deserves special praise. Always fun to test out various gravitational fields and actively maneuvering my ship based on my momentum is satisfying by demonstrating you can’t easily become a master with enough tools and tricks at your disposal. Revolves back to always something fresh to learn and discover and using that knowledge is priceless.

Navigation I found to my pleasant surprise isn’t tough. To me, I found the experience easy to get a sense of orientation to decide your ensuing travel destination. Helped by the fact you have your globe compass. Thankfully entire locations are not absurdly complex. Plenty of locations are developed with care. Distinct enough to stand on its own. Standing in the middle of nowhere, you undoubtedly easily find themselves lost on where to forge next! Well, my friend the signalscope is a radar, compass, and a handy sound detector. Simply following the source can lead to incredible discoveries! A reliable suit can protect you from various hazards so keep an eye on your health! It’s not just the vastness of the unknown that can be scary. I’m reminded of the warning Stephen Hawking once said regarding alien civilization. Maybe that will help or not. Who knows… Anyway! You should use the scouter. While it seems useless in the beginning to throw a pocket-size machine out in the distance rendering images such as mobile Mars rovers. Invaluable in checking out what’s in the distance. You rarely know what kind of matter you’ll come across. If safe to land, dangerous terrain to traverse, hell the additional light source emanating is vital in scouting too! In the darkest of moments, I determine solace in the illumination. Lastly, a handy translator to decipher old texts. Minus this little guy, I probably would’ve quit entirely! A tool to transcribe what was said long ago. Man. Wish we had this for our main cast back in Arrival(2016).

“Arrival is a damn fantastic film! A must watch along with the other sci-fi films touched on.”

“I agree, boss. Weird they haven’t watched Kubrick’s famous space film. Think he could’ve had substance to articulate about him.”

“True, perhaps they have not watched the film yet… Shame.

“Best of the best… Ah, here's the latest text.”

Log 6 - It's okay to make mistakes. History is full of them

I believe one of the hardest and maybe underappreciated qualities is to capture the attention of an individual for a prolonged period depending on the fun factor. Overcoming obstacles, finding new treasures, discovering secrets, winning against an opponent completing an objective, and my favorite is learning supplementary erudition that can be used retroactively to encounter alternate paths and solutions to obstacles. A slice different from metroidvanias with required items/abilities to progress. Similar, but different from how a rogue-lite conducts after failure. Operates by handing you enough necessary devices, not ability-gating, but sending them off at their own pace is an immensely enjoyable endeavor. 'If you can go there, you can reach it.'

But also exhibit a manageable learning curve. Thereby allowing astronauts and astralfarers to continue unabated without major insurmountable hurdles. A phenomenal example is akin to Mario falling into the abyss and we restart immediately is a simple and earliest example. Here the presence of failure and not giving up is palpable. Embracing mistakes can often lead to interesting outcomes. Making the most of what you can do within a limited ordeal reminded me heavily of my recent trip to Japan. Where I tried to do the most of what I could physically do while staying within ‘x’ amount of days. You have to embrace the logistics and persevere to rise above average motions to do as much as possible. Granted you don’t have to follow the ideology to a T. I love doing whatever you want at your leisure.

My experience in Japan was a proverbial light-bulb in parallel history of what I conducted. I didn’t come to this realization til dozens of attempts of failing, dying, and befuddlement. Concerning the failed attempts. I stand and try again. It is why I appreciate the [blank] loop occurring within 22 minutes clever. Sure a restart is feasible, but considering the full breadth is not player-centric. Enough distinct events occur within a small time frame. I won’t bring out anything explicit. But this core facet is a robust pillar holding up what makes OW remarkable. I’m reminded of the Apollo program to reach the moon after a world superpower equivalent entered the race by sending Yuri Gagarin as the first person to fly in past our blue home. Countless citizens of the Liberty Nation felt fear of being left behind. I was never born during that era, but the texts in history books detail the significance greatly of landing on the moon. The sensation of rivalry, anxiety, feasibility, capability, and what if’s are borne fruit within the OW project. How many adventures will my tiny craft be able to exert? Before I redo the whole start again? What untouched goals can I scrounge aside from virtually landing on my moon? Can I fulfill my mission parameters? And most importantly why am I doing this myself?

As a student and lover of world history: encompassing socio, technological, cultural, and countless others. Fascinating to grasp, but also our experiments to blast outside our atmosphere. The simulator has an alluring way of increasing my curiosity constantly. By approaching early interstellar travel through a museum. You don’t need to understand everything inside, but I find what’s displayed enchanting. Unseen creatures cute but terrifying. Text writing given in an untraditional manner. Artifacts changing senses of physical orientation and the mysterious Nomai talked in reverent tones leave me intrigued for new material. Teasing me, luring me to learn extra. It's lovely, the devs managed to send me into a similar fascination I had long ago as a young lad. I was enthused on entire interstellar matters and reliving the experience now. In a distinguishable manner by actively transforming a viewer's perspective into that of an active participant. “I read tales of cosmos history” takes on a whole new meaning when I traveled to the “moon and beyond.”

Despite my slight struggle in the beginning. The journey is bloody significant it in my honest opinion. It's up to you to decide the methodology a journey will advance. They say ignorance is bliss. And knowledge is power. Blah blah blah. Entertain the two notions and subsequently witness a slow, but gripping plot of pioneers embarking on treacherous expeditions and meritwhile voyages. Embracing the unknown like a partner steadily balancing their fear on a tightrope. To what end? Up to you! For what awaits fellow travelers mainly a wonderful trek to the stars.

Log 7 - My Mixed Feelings is Zero, as I Expected

I’ll be frank. I have zero mixed feelings. No negative nitpicks, and frustrations were due to the fact of my inability to jump the gun and Rambo my way to the credits. A shameful bad habit I still have trouble deterring myself from. Although, I’m glad I played until I finished the final act. The lesson I gently reminded is exercising a lesson in patience. Breathing deeply and re-focusing on my priorities whilst undergoing a process of elimination. Determining what I haven’t explored and what I couldn’t pass before, but with extra information gained. Surely I can do what I was unable to before. The backtracking wasn’t a sore spot. And sure the beginning can be slow, but I believe it's worth delving into to understand fully the tutorials. Gently nudging the player through the do’s and don’ts of star travel and the dangers that come in your travels. I’m at a sheer loss to add anything concrete regarding suggestions and I cannot for the life of me conjure meaningful examples. Everything is self-contained and at your disposal to succeed. Mayhap a gentle reminder that self-reflection is key and organizing your next list of priorities transitions into an easier task to undergo were vital to remember. Here’s a tip reviewing what you already accomplished might bring a different insight. Keep notes my friends!

“Kid already left huh? Damn. My is stomach hungry. But that can wait. I have naught urge to eat nor sleep right now.”

“Funny, I too experienced the same feelings after I entered the organization.”

Log 8 - Stories & mysteries. A positive appraisal

I always love heavy stories. It's the primary reason I look for within the medium. Everything else 2nd. So I'm extremely shocked to play a title where the plot is [redacted] in a way I didn’t expect. I’m no stranger to storytelling methods of unreliable narrators, ludo narrative dissonance, and connecting essential literary elements to craft a compelling plot. A climax full of importance and gawking. Supposedly with a loveable cast as well. I received none of these yet achieved an indescribable experience using a non-traditional progression. Which I find enormously challenging to describe in minute details. Within the confines of the simulator, I encountered many memories I don’t believe I'll forget. A stack I reminisce fondly. An aspect, so moving is a solid top quality. Ever seen any seven wonders on Earth? Or presumably some iconic nature-made landscape to leave you breathless? Same energy! In my struggle, all that's left are the sensations conjured during the moment and everlasting memories. Usually, players detail the conclusion as the ultimate moment. Others, the journey. And for a certain side the beginning. As I take my final steps into the end credits I can chiefly remark that everything is priceless, precious, and potent passion resonating to my very heart.

“Yes, I do agree the overarching story has incredible value striving towards. It's enormously challenging to display in a raw form. But I sincerely and wholeheartedly agree with their assessment.”

“Oh man, two left. Nights getting late… I have work in the morning... Meh I'll keep reading.”

Log 9 - Tips, hints, and a single weird outlier- A confession and the choice

Despite what I said early on with having zero mixed feelings I will confess to using a FAQ and hint guide near the very last stretch of my playthrough. I won’t say specifics. I primarily missed two things but I already knew beforehand and the execution. I simply missed the diminutive connection. This isn’t advocating to check FAQ or a guide. Merely suggesting if you need help. Or contacting a close friend. A blind playthrough is still highly recommended. However, this doesn’t deter me from gently conveying if you’re struggling to be careful of spoiling yourself on YouTube or a harmful thumbnail blatantly showing what to expect. It is extremely rare I would resort to such a tactic considering 99%, I found everything by myself and I suspect if I hadn't checked I would’ve eventually found the answer. I don't think there’s harm in searching for hints/tips since its impossible for every person to be on the same wavelength in understanding and processing logical thinking. It's why we don’t notice universal praise 100% of the time and barely to none flaws in every single product made. There’s always something to remark.

“Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’ll give their assessment a valid shake. It's honestly impossible to make a program and run to the finish line. Hitting the mark consistently. Playing blind to successfully reaching the ending every instances without help. The ultimate undertaking is still not within our capability. But by fine-tuning it we can achieve a close number to the triple digits. I believe Noclip demonstrates the history and the multiple developmental iteration stages in getting there. Seems the work was very challenging, but worth it. Cool guys. Was nice watching behind the scenes.”

“Oh. The last texts…”

Log 10 - The Final Log

I think the testament to a magnificent quality is the ability to grab anyone from any reasonable age and outside of searching for auxiliaries fully explore and in their understanding comprehend what is given. To an extent where the player deeply appreciates what is conveyed through memorable experiences, deep themes and reigniting a blazing heart of what makes videogames so moving. In neither too complex nor too simple aspects. Rather it strives to hit every range in the spectrum to capture the essence of what I feel is the zenith of pure discovery, supreme wonder, and incredible satisfaction through the act of accomplishment. At the very core, the devs toe the fine line to the point of frustration. Excelling in qualities I look for. And punches its weight limit beyond the super heavyweight class. Heck, shooting for 100% isn’t required either! You don’t need to worry on performance achievements. They're akin to extra credit points. A relief in my eyes. Thereby lodging a wonderfully thoughtful fun loop that keeps me coming back frequently until the final track is conveyed. Danny O'Dwyer, from Noclip puts it in the best way possible.

“...Outer Wilds is more than the sum of its parts. It's the type of game that leaves you with a feeling that can’t be explained. It has to be experienced.”

I echo the same sentiment. The herculean effort the developers at Mobius Digital created is truly one of a kind. Infrequently have I played a science fiction type hitting utterly the things I love and fear from the cosmos yet contained in a moving revolving door of themes tiny and grand. I found the grand finish line of my expeditions. Sure there were bumps on the road to get there. But OW travelers experiences hardship differently and manages to resolve them in a method to their satisfaction. For me. The venture was arduous yet left me with a marvelous sense of immense satisfaction. A sensation anyone knows intimately. Whether it's to defeat the most difficult boss, triumph over the hardest puzzle, climb the tallest pillar, or journey a thousand miles whilst completing many mini-challenges. The same feeling never escapes. The moment of victory, the HUZZAH always reigns supreme. A phenomenal caliber reverberates in spades beyond my imagination. Always surprised me to the nth degree yet ne'er blew my suspension of disbelief into a catastrophic supernova. Elevating by not prescribing to conventional designs. Connecting the sweet Chekov’s gun beautifully comparable to an intricate web. Whereupon I was helplessly comprehending every morsel of lore and thus achieved a peak Everest of worldbuilding. Through gaining knowledge. And harnessed to the maximum effect. Removing egregious copy paste areas. This wasn’t the largest universe I’ve explored, nor the prettiest graphically nor does it contain a tour de force soundtrack and an always gripping plot to unearth coupled with a loveable cast. Doesn’t hit the limit of fun gameplay. Outer Wilds is none of these. Yet the sum of its parts as Danny eloquently said earlier along with playing as blind as possible are the hallmarks benefiting an increased multiplier to the X degree. Tying the above to excellent points by a duct tape machine and launching my ship to uncharted territory is an unparalleled impression.

I implore any curious souls looking for an excellent sci-fi space adventure such as this as a one hell of a wake up palette cleanser to try between games, game pass, or even if they had an experience a stark contrast to mine then that’s entirely fair and valid. What matters is how your journey started, during, and ended. What you find at the closing of the day is the sincerest conclusion you reached with both hands and mind. Literally and figuratively. For better or worse. The cosmos exists, but so do we. And thus we venture forth to the stars. Undeterred, unbowed, and unflinchingly in the face of its daunting expanse, striving past our normal means. Similar in some respects to a tiny excerpt from a famous speech proposed decades ago.

.
.
.

"Oh by the way Boss. I have something to report-"

The assistant gradually opens the door to the office. There he spies his superior sleeping soundly in the chair snoring softly. Peering closer he witnesses the final log close to his chest.

He sighs softly and gathers a jacket nearby to drape over him. But in doing so, a light object falls to the ground.

A piece of paper.

“Oh for me?”

The assistant reads the confines slowly. Eyes growing wider as paragraphs fly by until...

A single final line…

10/10 - Get me their number. We need to talk.

References and additional material:
1962 - JFK Moon speech
2020 - The Making of Outer Wilds - Documentary by Noclip
Before I play: Outer Wilds - Useful tips!
Spoiler safe FAQ - literally saved my bacon. No joke
My spoiler thoughts of Outer Wilds
Special thanks to Hotpoppah, _YALP & Phantasm for recommending OW to me.

(played the Sega CD version of the game through Heart of the Alien, though it's not a listed platform for some reason.)

While Prince of Persia created the "cinematic platformer" subgenre of sidescrollers with an emphasis on realistic, weighty movement alongside some kind of grand central narrative, this is the game to define it.

In the "cinematic" half of our genre here, this game is insanely impressive. The games artstyle is wonderfully crafted, using the limited color palletes of the host consoles and computers to literally create Another World that feels well Out of this World. It feels alienating exploring large caves and hostile facilities as you try to bumble around as both the player and your main character aren't entirely sure what's exactly going on. The game doesn't feel isolating though, given the fact that you have your own partner character to help you out with your escape from the bad place you both happened to get stuck in, and there's a very real bond that gets formed between the two. The game has a very strong central narrative with each section of the game usually having some cool moment, all told with zero dialogue which makes everything all the more impressive, transcending any language or cultural barriers. Cutscenes are mostly done in-engine pretty much as you are playing with large full-screen animations only playing for things like deaths or large story beats. I know I say this a lot in older titles I review, but this definitely goes on the list of "games that probably caused a lot of people to think of games in a fundamentally different way after playing". This game is pretty much a foundational pillar for the modern AAA cinematic titles that have been dominating modern video games for like over the past 20 years in some form or another. Whether you like those types of games or not, it's certainly something to absolutely be respected, and I think this game deserves every ounce of praise it gets artistically.

When it comes to the "platformer" half of this genre though... Things aren't so great. The movement has that same level of realism and momentum that Prince of Persia had, done to mostly the same degree, though the level design is much less platforming-focused to instead lean towards gunplay combat and puzzle solving. Most of the level layouts are full to the brim with trial-and-error gotcha traps at every corner that can and will kill you on your first run until you've basically memorized the entire game, and the game doesn't make its progressing solutions very apparent which made it really easy for me to get stuck as the game never really led me to change my way of thinking and approaching different problems, but rather gave me plenty of "why the fuck do I keep dying here literally what is the game wanting me to do" moments. Definitely keep a guide on-hand for the handful of nonsense moments that lay throughout the game. The game does have infinite lives and reasonably generous checkpoints, but the sheer frequency of how often I died combined with the slow weighty movement did slowly get on my nerves the more I played. To put things into perspective the game is roughly 20-30 minutes when played effectively by someone that knows what they are doing, and it took me about 5 hours to get through it on my first go and that's even with reasonable guide usage to help me know what the fuck the game occasionally wanted from me. The gunplay also can be a bit annoying. Maybe the sega CD version has hella aggro enemies or something but I found the AI enemies to be unreasonably reflexive when it comes to firefights. You have a gun that can shoot quick pulverizing laser beams at a tap of a button with a short hold allowing you to make a shield and a longer hold allowing you to make a charge shot that can blow up shields and walls, all with limited ammo. The enemies can charge shields and power shots way faster than you can, and getting in the line of sight for most enemies usually gets you dead before you can even pull out your gun because apparently these guys all took quickshot sharpshooting lessons from Mad Dog Mcree. I found that its significantly easier to just memorize when and where the enemies will occasionally spawn and just continuously blast there so you can kill them the instant they spawn because if they live long enough to pop a shield up, your odds of winning that firefight just went down significantly.

Overall the game is really influential but also kinda frustrating to actually play all the way through. Maybe the difficulty was done in a way to pad out a short game to fill in a longer runtime, maybe the difficulty is thematic in how it emphasizes the unknown alien nature of the world by making you trial-and-error through mildly obtuse scenarios, or how the harsh firefights further the oppressive vibes of the alien civilization you are messing with, who knows. The cool thing about art is it's all interpretive at the end of the day, and this game is no exception. It's really cool how this game was able to influence and inspire so much both inside and Out of this World of gaming, but I probably won't see myself really playing it too much again (though i might check out the 3DO port sometime down the line to see the redrawn backgrounds, who knows). If you like video games, you owe it to yourself to at least give it a try and see how you feel about it!

Greetings everyone. I'm "proud" to present one of the first Konami titles released on the Game Boy, titled Clutch: The Video Game.

Castlevania: The Adventure is certainly an early Game Boy title. One that I feel like Konami didn't really optimize well, as this game is filled with plenty of slowdown. Other Castlevania games like Super Castlevania IV are also known for their slowdown, but this one is pretty egregious with it, since the game is so slow.

Controls seem stiffer than the ones in the original NES trilogy and the game's slow-ass speed doesn't help at all.
And this complements with the game's level design.

You'll be jumping through plenty of tiny-ass platforms that you'll just barely land on; battling enemies that will constantly annoy you; and in Stage 2's case, find a dead-end and have to go back. That backtracking is filled with eye-ball enemies that will explode parts of the bridge you're passing through, so be careful in not destroying the bridge too much, because if so, you won't be able to come back.
Also, I hope you didn't reach the end of that dead-end, because if you die, you will respawn at the end of it, making the backtracking pretty atrocious.

In addition, there are no sub-weapons to be found in this game, which they really could've come in handy. There are power-ups that you can get for your whip which, if maxed out, can give you a projectile.
But maintaining the fucking thing is really hard, because get hit once and you lose it immediately.

In regards to the presentation, it's okay. I've already mentioned how slow the game can be, but the graphics themselves are decent for an early Game Boy title, and the music ain't too shabby, even if I didn't find it as catchy as the NES trilogy.

In conclusion, Castlevania: The Adventure is not really the best of games, thanks to its clutch level design, slow and stiff controls and just not being fun to go through.

This is probably the first game where I had to pull up a guide to beat the "name entry" menu. Bravo! Still a less tedious game than the first one :p while yall are debating whether this game is actually a hidden gem or the worse slop known to man, know that I am taking double the amount of misinformation. Link is like Robin Hood except he's stealing little kids in caves and giving them to single mothers??? Very weird. I suppose this segues into my political stance about Link wielding magic, a crystal clear case of identity crisis. But make no mistake, the game only gets real good right when you get the fire spell. Me when unlocking the full moveset actually makes the game as good as it should always have been. It's more common than you think.

While I'm a big fan of most of the game, fuck that one room in particular in the 3rd temple where you're digging stone blocks to get to a key (Minecraft reference) because these dog heads got hands damn! The point is that they don't, so I am... shocked, as they say! Now imagine my surprise when I finish the 1st temple and find out what God it reveres: it's a moyai! You're putting something in his brain... hnnng moyai brainrot... ahah I hope I'm more than a niche internet micro-celebrity to you guys, I also am a variety gamer, and that means I vary my approach to the game: nope, I'm tackling Zelda II like it's a DMC-like. It really is high octane at times, though. All is manageable, however. Even Link's crippling rupee debt. He just does not engage with the currency. Modern problems require modern solutions.

Combat is just really funny. You get pulled into the narrow streets of Kamurocho every 10 steps in the overworld that suspiciously looks like The Legend Of Zelda on the NES, and whenever you hit somebody, I can't believe how many mfs I'm using za warudo on, but I better believe. And also, the regular attack just looks satisfying for some reason. Link is poking them. But don't poke the bear, though! Thankfully, it's just a bunch of unmemorable enemies here. That Lizalfos be looking stiff as a gyatt 🥰 but yeah that's it. I'm not sure how to convey how I really feel about all this. But, know that enemy placements is pretty fair. Atleast, that's what I said as my graduation quote. ¡ No mames !

It's funny when he does the upwards thrust... because it feels like he's offering his hand in marriage. LoL ¿quieres? The way I creaaaamed when I got the opportunity to do this attacking shit down below AND above me. Although this ties in to a mucho problemo that the OG had, where the missable content is way too important, the average joe is liable to it, and I will call the manager about it. Only then will they learn Link has actually entered people's houses without their permission, marking the grand premiere of his criminal record. The only way he has to redeem himself is by vanquishing Ganon once more, as his death was GREATLY exagerated. Yep.

Just wanna quickly say that Louie is a menace and also one of the funniest characters I’ve ever come across simply by existing; me and a friend of mine found him and the face icons he has in the battle mode the funniest shit ever, and now that I’ve finally played and beat the game, I’m happy to say he’s just as deranged as I hoped him to be. His deadpan expression in the credits as he’s left stranded will never not be hilarious.

I think there’s no better way to see and understand just how much Pikmin 2 differs from the original than by just looking at how it handles the end of a day in both games:

In the first game, we are given a peek into Olimar’s thoughts thanks to its captain log, a collection of texts he himself acknowledges deep down may go unread by other eyes if he’s to fail in his mission, somber pieces that show glimmers of hope as he gathers more parts and discovers more and more about the fauna of this strange new world.

In Pikmin 2 we get a bunch of comical e-mails, most of them focused on the Boss’ misadventures escaping the space IRS and as he becomes friends with wild animals.

And I love both approaches almost equally.

2 may still revolve around having an army of 100 little aliens following you and most of the elements that it introduces and expands upon are from systems already present in 1, but as experience on its own, Pikmin 2 clearly strives for VERY different things than that of the first entry, things that distance it from the meditative and time-management experience that it once was and instead made a… I honestly struggled to find ways to exactly describe it, but I think the better term for it would be ‘’arcadie’’.

Pikmin 2 is an inherently ‘’arcadie’’ experience, more challenge based than ever and removing the external factors like the 30 day time limit and putting all lights on the core mechanics of managing the legion of these adorable colored aliens. A lot of the tension is gone, but at the same time is substituted by the challenges the caverns and even the surface holds… not that those some of those challenges are exactly great but ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh BOI we’ll get to that when we get to that.

I’m gonna be blunt, I fucking LOVE these ideas and this direction for a Pikmin sequel; I really thing you can’t exactly pull off the same thing 1 did without it feeling lesser or making both games less special by proxy, so instead… they didn’t do 1 again, and I really like that, furthermore, I commend the BALLS to have such a banger idea like that of Pikmin and pivot into a complete different direction tonally and structurally wise.

Hell, Pikmin 2 kinda fixes every single qualm I had with the original game! The flowers that once felt underused and a huge miss potential? Now they are a godsend, the only way to obtain other colored Pikmin in dungeons PLUS being the only source of both White and Purple Pikmin, which is also nice, considering how useful they are (specially the latter) and how it acts as a neat way of balancing and keeping the numbers of that Pikmin low, they may not outright fix just how powerful Purples are and how Whites are generally more useful than the three main types, but I like it! The bridges getting destroyed? Now it actually feels impactful, since they now act more as shortcuts than ever before and sometimes they are even mandatory pathways. And the Pikmin AI? THEY FIXED IT, SWEET MOTHER OF HOCOTATE THEY FUCKING FIXED IT. They still sometimes act dumb and get distracted even when it kills them BUT I DO NOT CARE, THAT’S PRETTY FUNNY AND NOW THE FRUSTRATING PART IS GONE; I lost like, 2 Pikmin to drowning in the entire game, and that plus the returning hazards being generally more manageable (emphasis on manageable) makes it feels far more lenient in that regard and eliminates the only enraging aspect I found in the first game, WE ARE SO BACK WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

And to be completely honest, even tho as I said I do like the e-mails and what they represent, hearing about the President and Olimar’s family wouldn’t be as cool if the Piklopedia wasn’t also on here. Reading through Olimar’s (and eventually Louie’s) thoughts about the creatures and objects they come across is such a interesting and cool evolution of the captain logs, while also functioning as a sort of easy tracker for completionist and perfectly fitting with the more laid-back tone. Plus, the text themselves are really entertaining, nothing’s better than reading of Olimar and Louie being a comical duo and seign this small fellas and the ship trying to make sense of common human artifacts, it’s a super pleasant experience to go through, just like some of the changes!

Gathering and farming Pikmin feels a lot faster and rewarding, the new sprays are amazing tools that make certain sections far more tolerable, returning to areas from the first game and see just how much they changed and how each basically represents one of the four seasons and they all feel equal in scale… I like these tweaks! Pikmin 2 doesn’t seem to me interested in introducing quality of life changes, but more so to accommodate for the treasure hunting and more linear gameplay of the caverns… or at least it tries to. Sometimes it succeeds, like in everything I just said up until that point but… I think it’s time… it’s time to be a meanie.

Pikmin 2’s pitch is incredible; like picture this: you can play as two captains, the world is now full of caves which are entire more linear gauntlets that test your Pikmin management abilities to your limits, and now there are more bosses, enemies, and surprises than ever on top of the normal surface exploration! Sounds like a killer game, and it would be!... But Pikmin 2 flounders in every single one of these aspects in some way or another, in a one step forward one step back kind of way, two in the worst of cases…

Having two captains sounds nice, and it kinda is. Like I said, we have Louie which is peak, and eventually we get to play as the President which is funny, and every single character gets his own whistle AND theme variations on top of the constantly changing music, which to me is insane and an amazing detail that elevates this game’s soundtrack to even greater heights. But… I don’t know, on the one hand is kinda nice to not have to go back to base change Pikmin constantly since you can do it with one while the other captain is exploring, but… it feels clunky? In 1, everything felt like constant motion, even during downtime, and even then, you could take those moments of waiting for Pikmin to bring back something or bringing down a wall to do some other stuff. Here, while a cool new addition, I feel like is doing the same we once did with extra steps. You still have to control manually each captain, and I think having at least one option to make a captain go automatically to a certain part of the map while you control the other could have been an incredible addition, ‘cause as it is it doesn’t feel satisfying, not I feel like the game itself uses it in interesting ways.

The tutorial leads you to believe that there may be times when both captains may be separated or may need to resolve puzzles together to progress, and the caves sound like a perfect opportunity to create that kind of challenge, right?!... I think that in all the caverns I completed, only one boss required me to use both captains, and it wasn’t a particularly fun fight either; and in the surface, I can only remember one cool puzzle that asked coordination of the dynamic duo, soooo… yeah… I think I spend like 75% of the game with the Captains together, and considering the potential of this idea, that’s a huge bummer, to be honest…

It's a weird thing ‘cause I don’t know if the problem resides in the game biting more than it can chew, or simply poor execution… That’s funny, now that I think about it, that could also be said about the caves and their relationship with the surface-OH NOES.

Listen, I like the caves… I think. Considering what this game is trying to be, considering its focus is found on endurance test and hunting for items and creating a cool recollection extravaganza, the caves are a no brainer. They can be fun challenges, it feels rewarding to grab treasure and clean rooms from enemies, it’s satisfying to complete them and overcome their challenges. The caves are fun, the caves are cool… SOMETIMES.

This game… this fucking game… it’s a fucking looney, to put it lightly. The caves don’t take prisoners, THEY DEMAND BLOOD. Every single moment of frustration that could be found in the original game PALES as the mere sight of three rock bombs falling at the same time while being chased by a Bluborb on flames, or at the avalanche of spiders that steal your items or carry more rock bombs, or the barrage of enemies in tight corridors that launch every projectile imaginable while you are surrounded by some of the most punishing hazards I’ve seen in a while (LOOKING AT YOU, ELECTRCITY), or better yet, everything I just mentioned at the same time while boulders are falling out of nowhere! What could be worse than thi- OH GOD NOT THE FUCKING FROGS

This game throws at you so much unpredictable bullshit at the same time at some point I began to wonder if I was going insane or if I was just bad at the game, but after the madness of the late game caverns I think it’s safe to say they went sicko mode in the worst way possible. Plus, every single cavern floor’s layout is randomly generated every time you load and for the life of me, I have no clue why. The enemies and treasures and always the same, yeah, but when you are met with corridors that let to nowhere and entire sections FLOODED with enemies, explosions, and impossible to reach treasures unless you have the exact number of Pikmin of one type, I couldn’t stop wishing that these were just either being manually designed or that the level generator was more even. It’s not like randomness gives interesting challenges to begin with, some even repeat in separate caves! Why would they do this?!

The caves can be fun, they have the potential to be fun, but when, most of the difficulty comes in complete and utter randomness and total bullshit that turns entire levels into a fucking stressful chore, by the end of it I wasn’t even feeling rage when a rock bomb fell just as I was sending my Pikmin to attack a wall, I just felt resignation. On top of that, the dungeons also make the world feel… smaller? In some of them there isn’t much constancy visually wise and because of the artificiality of the hazards and how every single time there’s a boss at the end, they feel more like stages than actual unexplored caverns. Even the one that feels unique, the Submerged Castle, is still plagued by the same random bullshit as the rest, so it isn’t even cool!... well, maybe a bit. It’s still fun to battle the Waterwraith, and so is encountering many of the other bosses, but in many cases, I feel like they turn what they should be special encounters into something more forgettable.

The Breadbug in 1 was a funny yet incredibly unique enemy that hold one of the optional pieces. In 2, they plague one of the dungeons, and thy aren’t that fun to deal with at all…

There’s so much missed potential with he caverns is honestly depressing, like how they bleed into the surface, not factoring into the time system at all and generating grind both at the beginning and SPECIALLY end of the game, and how that just makes you realize in some cases the best way to traverse them is to… not engage with them. Just make a run for the exit until you arrive at the floor you want to, just make a run for the treasure you missed on your first go…

The caverns can and should have been a standout of the game, a wonderful collection of challenges that showcase what kind of game Pikmin 2 is… and to my knowledge, some people really like them, and I’m glad it clicked for them, but to me, Pikmin 2 is a collection of amazing ideas gone down he drain thanks to poor execution. I actually hope to see them again and improved upon, ‘cause the potential is right there man, you just got to use it!

I haven’t even talked about how messed the balancing is now (my poor blues and reds… what did they do to you…), or how now enemies respawn faster than ever and some can even revive, or how as much as I respect the different tone I don’t really think it’s saying anything substantial, but honestly, I don’t think there’s much to get to aside from everything I’ve been yapping about…

Pikmin 2 still makes me smile, it has the core I love so dearly and some fun moments, it has the Bulbmin for crying out loud! But it also makes me sad, sad that it had such an amazing concept and made so many mistakes along the way, because that’s the thing; 2’s problems don’t reside in what it wants to be, hey reside in the execution and its conflict with man aging the openness of the surface and its own identity. It was to be both a brand-new entry while also not really committing to that, and I think I had that realization the moment I noticed many of the treasures are in the exact same place that some ship parts were in one.

It was to be Pikmin 1 on top of being its something, and when you throw that on top of the mistakes it already makes, the result is a game I wish had more confidence in balancing and committing completely into its new ideas.

Having said all of that I still maintain that I adore this cast of characters, seriously, these goofballs are funny as hell, and I wished I could see even more of them. But oh well, good thing Louie won’t show up again to commit even more deranged acts, right?...right?...

Very very fun to play with solid puzzles and an extremely unique atmosphere, but I would never in a million years try to 100% this game because I know I’d be missing my hair by the time I finished it

The Complete Saga is one of the first games I can recall playing with my siblings, alongside things like Wii Sports and Rock Band. I thought about just emulating that version instead but I figured the original GameCube versions would be less intensive to stream with friends, so expect the sequel to this one soon.

You could argue it's a little insubstantial, but LEGO Star Wars for me is tons of casual, low-stakes fun. The Minikits turn it into somewhat of a collectathon and bring a bit more to the table, but not necessarily challenge. I'm more than fine with this game being easy as it is, likely being a game aimed for children and all, but I can see how it would be a detractor for some.

The only major problems are with the flying stages, which are apparently nerfed in The Complete Saga anyways. Here, while you still have infinite lives, they're noticeably more strict than the rest of the game. Gunship Cavalry is especially bad, an isometric shooter reminiscent of the really shit one from Earthworm Jim 2. The controls are both far too floaty and yet also kind of limited, in the sense that there's only one plane of movement and it isn't conveyed well visually. You'd think from the way everything is laid out that you would be able to raise or lower yourself, but such is not the case. Either way, probably the only outright crap level in the game, as the other two flying stages throughout definitely feel a bit less awkward.

While it isn't quite the same as my childhood memories with just one player, I had a lot of fun revisiting this. The Original Trilogy is up next, and as far as the movies themselves go I've always been much more fond of those. Looking forward to that.

Claire, Riley, Joan, Andrius: Fuck everyone who works here!!

Vijay: nobody knows i'm drinking on the job again B-)

I think Prey: Mooncrash might have me feeling even worse about Hades. I spent most of that review moaning about roguelike genre staples and accusing that game of either being too agonizing or too trivial based on blind luck. I was actually apprehensive about moving directly from one roguelike to another, but I'm glad I stuck with the plan, because Mooncrash addresses a lot of the issues I have with the genre and finds ways to make the repetitive nature of playing these games work within the setting of an immersive sim.

Mooncrash accomplishes this by serving up a sort of Resident Evil or Metroid-like rhythm, where subsequent runs through the moon's facilities feel better and better as the player plans around objectives and develops their own route. While the layout of the facility remains static, item locations, key cards, enemies, and different hazards and conditions (like what doors are operational or where power is being routed) provide a necessary wrinkle to keep each run engaging, while a constantly ticking corruption meter threatens to repopulate previously cleared rooms with more powerful Typhon if you aren't quick enough. Granted, you can just buy a bunch of items that reset that meter, which kind of defeats the point, so my advice to you would be to avoid picking those up.

Unlocking every character and escape route on your way towards that perfect, immaculate final run requires you to complete each character's story missions (activated by touching a giant brain) and satisfying specific sequences, like using Joan and Claire to repair and hack into a portal device respectively to permit another character to escape through it. Changes made to the environment by one character during a run will persist into the next character's escape attempt, allowing you to tee up specific rooms in advance to ease the process and formulate the most efficient escape possible.

I'm a sicko and I eat that sort of thing up. If you design your game in a way that encourages me to repeatedly play through it and develop a more efficient method of reaching the end each time, I'll probably be on that shit annually. This isn't appealing to me in the way it might be to speedrunners where every little frame becomes a point of hyper-fixation (bad and evil), so much as it's about gaining mastery over a specific sequence of objectives while reducing points of failure along the way (good, pure and made of light.)

This would be an easy 5/5 for me if it weren't for a few shortcomings that hold the whole experience back, most of which make navigating the moon's surface - essentially the game's hub area, where its three main facilities connect - a hassle, and progressively dull. Each facility is locked by a Tyhpon gate, which requires you to clear out the nearby area of any Typhon infesting it. This gets repetitious in a way that doesn't really add anything, and flying enemies have a tendency to get stuck on roofs, which too often forces you to coerce them into the open. You also have to deal with the Moon Shark, a large enemy that burrows underground and seeks you out based on vibrations against the moon's surface. In other words: the floor is lava. This is a novel idea for maybe the first couple hours, but since the Moon Shark is one of a few persistent elements, you always have to deal with it, and the gimmick inevitably drags.

Mooncrash also runs bad. The framerate is poor and load times are weirdly long, although I never had the game crash like I did with base Prey so, that's nice at least. It's just a shame a game released in 2018 has not really been optimized for the Series X, a console that should be more than capable of running it smoothly. Sure, as with most immersive sims, this is probably best enjoyed on a PC, but guess what? I didn't buy it on PC! I'm over here rolling my thumb around on the Series X's d-pad, just enjoying how clicky it is while wearing a big fuckin dunce cap. I look like an idiot!

Anyway, I've cleared the two roguelikes off my backlog. I am done! I don't have to play anything in this genre ever again!

... Until Hades II gets out of early access.

I tend to kinda hate dropping games but holy shit this game is just so boring I can't take it anymore!

It has everything in the world going for it too, aesthetically and musically it really has such a strong presentation and vibe to it. Leon himself is an interesting character with some cool movement abilities for combat and the guard MP building deal is neat as a concept. It all just ends up feeling so wasted here though.

Like one of my biggest issues with this game is just how flat and boring the level design is and how copy and paste and repetitive the whole thing feels. I dig that you can approach things in a nonlinear order BUT everything is so boring and repetitive that the game just can't support anything else. The platforming is so basic and everything becomes so boringly copy and paste that after a certain point I just didn't wanna boot the game up again, I just knew I was done and had to tap out.

At least I can see the rawest line in the entire game whenever I want elsewhere instead like why didn't the whole game have this energy guys c'mon!

Losing your mind, at the end of the world

Just getting started into this Nier/Drakengard universe left me with it's first game: Drakengard. It was hard to summarize and organize my thoughts on it once reaching ending D without looking insane and just spitting words out of my mind, just because. Well, I'd say Drakengard made me feel like that few hours after finishing it; insane.

What is Drakengard exactly? Take the best aspects of a "Warriors" game and take half of the fun of it. "Warriors" as in Dynasty Warriors, or musou as the genre is called. So the basic premise for grounded combat is to decimate the targets present at the battlefield within a large and endless hordes of enemies that will stand in your way. But unlike most musou games, as I said before it strips away the sense of power and control in the middle of chaos giving us a combat system that shits the bed as soon as we want to take it seriously; because it doesn't want to. Between engage with the combat system or to exploit what little advantages you have against the enemies is much prefered to do the latter as there isn't any incentive to play fair. And that's all you'll be getting out of it, at least when it comes to grounded combat. Just kill whoever is in your path to victory and continue to the next level, sort of like an arcade game. It blends both action and RPG elements as expected from an Square Enix game, the more you kill the more experience you have. And the word "kill" isn't used lightly in this game, I'll go deeply into it later.

Though the title is called Drakengard, or "Drag-On Dragoon" in japan which means we'll be able to ride a dragon and...basically do the same thing as we did on ground but taking action to the skies. Overall, it feels nice travelling with Angelus, which is the dragon's name from basic movement to dodge any sort of projectiles. This is were my praises for it end, as attacking is misserable; trying to land a hit on a target is a test of patience which I lost several times. On some levels both dragoon and grounded combat are combined as one, taking the best and the worse of both worlds. Caim's is slow but less prone to be attacked and Angelus has a fragile nature, but it's much more capable at taking a big amount of enemies with her breath of fire. Though, it's not as deep as it sounds since there are two valid strategies to follow: A. Waste a big amount of time at foot, not using the dragon at any time. B. Carefully managing space with Angelus this makes you travel faster but again she's more prone to be damaged and so does you. C. Kill the archers with Caim and then hop on Angelus to clean the rest of the area including the targets. So that wraps up the basics of combat in Drakengard, but you'll have to experience as words can't describe with ease how jank and badly designed it gets. Not only that, it will try to break you with an over-reliance on doing the same task of killing enemies over and over again so much so I started to become numb to everything combat-related and just go with it. Just as Caim.

Caim story starts right after being fatally wounded in battle, close to dying. But he doesn't give up, he sees a dragon nearby in similar conditions as him and negotiates a pact in order of both of them to live. The dragon refuses the offer multiple times, but Caim manages to convince her. A pact is formed at the cost of Caim's voice, his mark is located exactly in his tongue. Caim sheer power of will didn't let him die, even making a pact with a dragon; creatures that he despises with all his heart. Thus Caim tale of revenge and decay starts. It's a nice, more calm beginning to what will ultimately be a downward spiral into madness. It sets the tone, wildly different from more Square-Enix RPGs, present the characters and their motivations; specially when it comes to Caim.

The story itself feels like a deconstruction on most JRPGs stories, or rather a darker and less care-free version of them. It can also be applied to the classic tale of the hero. It asks the question: How much are you willing to sacrifice in order to fullfil your goals? Caim is the perfect protagonist, at least for this kind of twisted story: Shoot, ask questions later. In this story Angelus takes the role of being our companion, alongside a psychopath she's our voice of reason up to chapter 8. Caim is not the hero, nor is the villain as while his reason to go against the empire can be seen as noble; a feature present on most hero stories, his endless bloodlust for revenge which is what drives him forward can also be seen as feature of a villain. But on Drakengard there is no moral ground, everyone is either sick in the head or can get easily warped into different characters altogether in a matter of seconds; just as Inuart, Seere or Leonard can. Every non-playable stories are fragmented through different endings, having five in total.

If anything Drakengard made the narrative most of it's personality, carried with the most shitty gameplay imaginable. I appreciate everything Drakengard set to do back in 2003, shit's crazy, bold, confident while a bit stupid and isn't afraid to throw ideas to the mix. The gameplay indirectly made me numb to the act of "killing" itself, in which Angelus and the priest often remark that Caim might be taking things way too far. The act of killing takes the backseat most of the time, having no consequences on the story whatsoever until it happens to you, or well, Caim. Specially on Ending B.

Give it a try if curious. Words alone can't describe this game, it speaks for itself.