The Magnum Dong Licensed Game List

Licensed games are like assholes; everyone's got them, but what matters is what asshole is better than the other asshole. Did that analogy make any sense, No? Too bad that's the best I can come up with.

(This list will never truly be finished since I can't play every licensed game ever made so I'm gonna be updating this game periodically as I play more or log more that I forgot to log in.)

Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
This is hands down the best of the Super Star Wars games. Its level design is the perfect blend of challenging and rewarding, its gameplay is finely tuned to a T, its superFX chip missions are the best (with the exception of the Endor speeder bikes mission that one just sucks), and oh my god; this is honestly one of the best looking SNES games I've ever seen, the fight with the Rancor looks amazing not even just for SNES standers.
Is the game still ball bustly hard- yeah a little
Does the first level still the worst level of the game- once again yeah it is.
Regardless If you were to ask me which one to get into I'd say start with this one.
SpongeBob's Atlantis Squarepantis
SpongeBob's Atlantis Squarepantis
Pretty whatever compilation of minigames, pretty mid 4 but taking 1 point off for not having David Bowie.
Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate
Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate
look son I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed that's all.
I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin' Good Dating Simulator
I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin' Good Dating Simulator
Get away from me you slave owner, your chicken sucks.
My Friend Peppa Pig
My Friend Peppa Pig
I'm sure if I was a kid and also liked Peppa Pig I'd be going crazy for this game, but I'm a 21 year old adult and I don't think this game was made for me.
Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
t takes pretty much everything from SSW1 and makes it a lot better. The overall difficulty is a lot more forgiving and hits that right kind of frustrating that can make old-school games fun, hell they even made the mission with the superFX chip more playable, and that is an achievement even OG Star Fox can't say.
But once again the first level is the worse of the game and you'll have to slog through it until you get to the good bits.
Barnyard
Barnyard
Trying to play this in 8K is one of my most cherished moments with friends, other than that it's just a whatever kids game.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project
It's the best of the NES TMNT games but my main problem is that it's still a beaten-up game on NES, most NES games have not aged very well and this one has also aged quite a bit.
SpongeBob's Truth or Square
SpongeBob's Truth or Square
A pretty nice return to form for Spongebob 3D platformers, but there's this weird feeling of aimlessness emitting from it.
Family Guy Video Game!
Family Guy Video Game!
About as fun to play as Fallout 4, IE not very fun.
Evil Dead: The Game
Evil Dead: The Game
It's an excellent replacement for Friday the 13th the game if that game ever just disappears the way the Scott Pilgrim game did.
Saw
Saw
It's Saw in it's purest form, too bad I don't like Saw.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The HyperStone Heist
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The HyperStone Heist
I really don't like the Sega Genesis so to me this is an inferior version almost every way to TMNTTIT.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
It's pretty much just like TMNTTIT but missing all of the parts TIT that I really liked.
Adventure Time: Hey Ice King! Why'd You Steal Our Garbage?!
Adventure Time: Hey Ice King! Why'd You Steal Our Garbage?!
I kinda wonder how much of the fun I had with this game came from actual enjoyment of the game itself and not because of the insane amount of nostalgia I have for this game.
The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy
The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy
Irwin truly is the strongest character in fiction.
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
It's not Ice Age 2: The Meltdown................................... yeah nope that's it.
The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
This is what VR was made for, this is the shit that I crave.
Up
Up
UP yours John Lasseter.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine Uncaged Edition
X-Men Origins: Wolverine Uncaged Edition
Raven Software were truly magicians in their prime.
Batman: Arkham VR
Batman: Arkham VR
One of the most boring VR games I've played. It has a fun novelty but it wears off very quickly.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters
It's the best of the 3 TMNT fighting games but I've never really been that big of a fan of these games so It didn't really click with me.
Jurassic Park: The Game
Jurassic Park: The Game
This feels very much like an in-between game for Telltale in terms of what they were changing the structure of their games.
Because of that it feels like this game didn't really know what it wanted to be.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time
I've always preferred this game over the original arcade game mostly for nostalgic reasons. Pretty much everything from the sprites to movement is better along with the music just HHHEEEMMMMMM it slaps. I still prefer the SNES version more since I feel the pacing in that game is much better and higher boss count makes the fanservies part of my brain happy; but realistically you can’t go wrong with either version of the game.
Terminator: Resistance
Terminator: Resistance
A pretty alright shooter with a super well-realized annotation of the iconography that the Terminator movies have.
Sneak King
Sneak King
If I saw this man on the street and snuck up to me and gave me a sandwich I'd punch in the throat out of pure instinct.
Pocket Mortys
Pocket Mortys
When I was still in school I spent a lot of money on this game. One day my grandmother asked me what I was spending all of my money and not saving it, I then thought about it and I had to ask myself "is this really worth it", I then spent around 10 more dollars on this game and it continued like this for another 5 months until I got bored with the game and moved on to something else.
I deeply hate past STRM so much.
The Simpsons Skateboarding
The Simpsons Skateboarding
Bad skateboarding games are like bad friends, everyone has one and they always leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.
Friday the 13th
Friday the 13th
My boy Jason deserves better than this.
Futurama
Futurama
As someone who champions Futurama as “better than The Simpsons” this is the most disappointing I’ve felt in a good while. Now did I expect this game to be great, no; this was a game released less then a month after the show’s first cancellation and as a game itself it feels like a rushed job with the writers not really understanding what writing a video game is like. The cutscenes are really funny and are the highlight of the game but after their done you get to play one of the strangest 3D platformers I’ve ever played, this game is really hard for me to talk about all I can really say is it’s one of those play it for yourself type shitty games; where the controls are both slippery and stiff, and the jumping is both heavy and floaty while also being generally unresponsive.
If you for some reason actually wanna play this game just watch the cutscenes online, it’ll be a more fun experience then playing through this. (at least the Zoidberg Crash Hog riding rip-off level was decent)
Predator: Hunting Grounds
Predator: Hunting Grounds
All of my friends hate this game but idk I had fun with it.
Family Guy: Back to the Multiverse
Family Guy: Back to the Multiverse
The Chicken fight was pretty good but everything else was just kinda bland.
Blacksad: Under the Skin
Blacksad: Under the Skin
While it's held down by a few too many visual bugs and the game visually looks very cheap, I can't deny the devs have a pure passion and love for this comic and the outstanding story it tells. It's not gonna win any awards but it's a game that stays true to the comics nature which is all you can really ask for with a license games.
Sam & Max: Save the World
Sam & Max: Save the World
Great first season to TellTales great run with the characters.
Samurai Jack: Battle Through Time
Samurai Jack: Battle Through Time
It's pretty fun at times but it's a bit slow hack and slash game.
The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie's Revenge
The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie's Revenge
Still better than DMC 2 in almost every way.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan
GB games come in 3 categories, ok, shit, god awful. This one just falls under ok which is amazing for most GB games.
Adventure Time: Explore the Dungeon Because I Don't Know!
Adventure Time: Explore the Dungeon Because I Don't Know!
It’s pretty amazing that even after making a game that did a really job adapting the source material along with having most of the voice cast come back to reprise their roles, you somehow made a game that feels like it has nothing to do with Adventure Time outside of having the characters and some references.
Ben 10: Power Trip
Ben 10: Power Trip
A super empty open-world game that is somehow more empty than a Ubisoft game.
Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters?
How about you go bust some bitches.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan
Platinum what the fuck I thought you were better than this.
Green Lantern: Rise of the Manhunters
Green Lantern: Rise of the Manhunters
About as stander as licensed games come.
All it really does is ape on the "God of War-like" gameplay that was popular at the time and slaps the Green Lantern name on it. I guess it was playable but other than that it was just really unmemorable and dull.
Rick and Morty: Virtual Rick-ality
Rick and Morty: Virtual Rick-ality
It's fun for the first 2 or 3 hours but it slowly stopped being funny and the puzzles start becoming really annoying.
Spongebob Squarepants: Plankton's Robotic Revenge
Spongebob Squarepants: Plankton's Robotic Revenge
It's pretty much just Ratchet and Clank but lacking everything that makes video games fun.
Evil Dead: Regeneration
Evil Dead: Regeneration
If I wasn't a huge Evil Dead fan I probably would've rated this much lower than I actually did.
Vader Immortal: Episode I
Vader Immortal: Episode I
Pretty fun lightsaber simulator with a story I really couldn't give a shit about. At least Dark Vader was cool.
Gregory Horror Show
Gregory Horror Show
Why creep and stalk people in real life when you can do it to sadistic Animale Crossing rejects instead.
Afro Samurai
Afro Samurai
Not a really good game, but its combat is so floaty and janky it wraps right around to becoming something I've never truly experienced before.
The Simpsons: Bart vs. the World
The Simpsons: Bart vs. the World
McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure
McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure
I see no reason why a short McDonald's tie in game should be as good as it is. I mean it's not perfect or even anything to right home about; besides the music being pretty alright and some genuinely good level design for it's era it's far too easy and I felt like there was a little too much going on visually at times so where I started getting a headache. I think having the novelty of playing a McDonald's video game that isn't a horrible slap dashed togather waste of time is enough for me to say it's at least worth a look but other then that it's really nothing special.
Watchmen: The End Is Nigh
Watchmen: The End Is Nigh
I mean it's still not the worst bastardization I've seen for this series, Doomsday Clock still exist.
Dungeons & Dragons: Dark Alliance
Dungeons & Dragons: Dark Alliance
I haven't played a DnD session that didn't end in pure chaos, but at least I had fun in those game. There is very little fun here outside of the basic ass AAA live services crap.
Fester's Quest
Fester's Quest
Fester’s Quest is considered to be up there as one of the worse games the NES has to offer, with it’s god awful controls to it’s amazing “Where the fuck do I go” level design, and it’s ever ending amount of enemies that will drain your heath in less then 2 hits. Now don’t get me wrong this is 100% a BAD GAME, but compared to other NES games I’ve played in the past this is far from the worst thing ever; and this game doesn't even come close to the likes of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or TMNT.
Grimace's Birthday
Grimace's Birthday
I got the Grimace's Birthday meal, My mcnuggets were hard; as if they were left out for 30 minutes before I got them, my fries were shockley soggy, and the purple shake did something to my stomach that only 20+ dollars of Taco Bell could possibly achieve.
So all and all...........a surprisingly good trip to McDonald's.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Yes it's as bad as everyone said it is.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters
It's a fighting game on NES I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't shit.
Godzilla: The Game
Godzilla: The Game
I feel like the best way to look at this is to look at it in two ways. As a game itself, its gameplay loop is really repetitive, there is very little content for the at the time 60 dollar asking price, and the Kaiju's are very sluggish and hard to use.

With all of that being said you can also look at it as a Godzilla fan. The models for the Kaijus look really good, the destruction looks fantastic, and all the sparks coming off the explosions look great; like it was ripped right out of the movies. The sound effects and music are also really good, all of it is ripped right from the movies so everything fits perfectly.

Really if you are a die-hard Godzilla fan you'll be able to look beyond the slow and clunky movement and janky combat to have a fun if a little repetitive Godzilla game.

If you've only seen a handful of Godzilla movie, and most of them being the recent Legendary Pictures movies, then stay the hell away from this because you'll probably hate it. Then again this game is stupidly hard to find so honestly; you'll probably be fine.
SpongeBob's Boating Bash
SpongeBob's Boating Bash
I know when I was a kid I loved just breaking shit so seeing kids get games like Twisted Metal is really nice to see. Just kinda wish it didn't have that smelling license stink to it.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled
Took all the charm away for the original and now we're left with a really mediocre beat him up.
Godzilla: Monster of Monsters
Godzilla: Monster of Monsters
Its an actually decent license NES game, plus it doubles as a good creepypasta too which if I'm honest is a little more impressive.
The Grinch
The Grinch
It's not as bad as people have said but it's still pretty bad.
Star Wars
Star Wars
While it's not really good I've played far worse in terms of licensed games on NES, plus there is some really good looking pixel art used in the game which is impressive given the whole "NES licensed games" conundrum.
Yo! Noid
Yo! Noid
Where's my money Dominos?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Back from the Sewers
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Back from the Sewers
It's not as good as the first GB TMNT game but idk what I expected from GB.
Ice Age: Scrat's Nutty Adventure
Ice Age: Scrat's Nutty Adventure
It's about as middle of the road as modern-day licensed games come.
Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue
Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue
This felt like one of those old PS2 games you'd play on an old dusty fat PS2 at a rundown daycare behind a supermarket. Yes that did sound super specific and no I didn't play this game growing up.
A Nightmare on Elm Street
A Nightmare on Elm Street
actually broken to the point where I couldn't finish the game.
Hellboy: Web of Wyrd
Hellboy: Web of Wyrd
As someone who is a huge Hellboy fan (Mike Mignola being a horrible person aside) you couldn’t find someone more excited for this game than me. From the amazing looking shaders Upstream were using to replicate Mignola’s heavy shadows art style to the combat looking fun from the small bits I saw from gameplay videos it look to be the first Hellboy video game that was not only a faithful adaptation from the comics; but also a good game on top of that. Unfortunately that’s not what we got, what we got is a super mediocre roguelike that is so piss easy and repetitive it fails at the most basic approach of being a roguelike.
Ben 10
Ben 10
I acually honest to god finished this game in less than 30 minutes and I wasn't even trying that much.
The Bugs Bunny Birthday Blowout
The Bugs Bunny Birthday Blowout
I spent the very little time I have left on this earth playing this game.

Idk why I did this but oh well
Spider-Man: Far From Home Virtual Reality
Spider-Man: Far From Home Virtual Reality
I mean it was free so it's not like complaining about how bare bones it is but it was still super bare bones.
Celebrity Deathmatch
Celebrity Deathmatch
RIP Jerry Springer, you were too wild for this world.
Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters
Kinda wish I could like this as much as everyone else but I just don't like the Sega Genesis that much.
Space Jam: A New Legacy - The Game
Space Jam: A New Legacy - The Game
I mean I got the game for free so I can't complain too much but it's still pretty eh.
Muppet RaceMania
Muppet RaceMania
Somehow has worse racing physics than Calvin Tucker's Redneck: Farm Animals Racing Tournament
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Radical Rescue
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Radical Rescue
From what I've played it's the best of the 3 TMNT GB games but honestly that's not saying a lot considering this is still GB.
Sam & Max: Beyond Time and Space
Sam & Max: Beyond Time and Space
The funniest of the original 2 seasons, but feels held back from the true Insanity of the series by it's cheap recycling of contact and its repetition.
Nickelodeon Kart Racers 2: Grand Prix
Nickelodeon Kart Racers 2: Grand Prix
It's a super cheap feeling racing game, if I were a kid I'd probably liked it but still I feel like kids nowadays deserve better.
Fight Club
Fight Club
This game is generally terrible but you can play as Fred Durst soooooo it's get's an extra star just for that addition.
The Sopranos: Road to Respect
The Sopranos: Road to Respect
An actual stain on the show's legacy.
Regular Show: Mordecai and Rigby in 8-Bit Land
Regular Show: Mordecai and Rigby in 8-Bit Land
How come a game based on one of my favorite TV shows has to be one of the worst games I've ever played. I mean come on man give me a break.
Cartoon Network: Punch Time Explosion
Cartoon Network: Punch Time Explosion
I admire the attempt to make a smash bros but for CN, but it just feels way too floaty for a platformer fighter like this to work.
SpongeBob HeroPants
SpongeBob HeroPants
An actual literal asset flip of a video game, like for real go fuck yourself Activision.
Hellboy: The Science of Evil
Hellboy: The Science of Evil
It has a bit of the feel the comics had, but literally everything else is pure bottom of the barrel tier smegma.
Muppet Monster Adventure
Muppet Monster Adventure
I still kinda wish this made it into a movie instead of a boring PS1 kids game.
Race With Ryan
Race With Ryan
𝕽𝖞𝖆𝖓 𝖜𝖍𝖞 𝖍𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖘𝖆𝖐𝖊𝖓 𝖚𝖘
Spider-Man
Spider-Man
YOUR RUNNING OUT OF FFFLLUUID
The Addams Family
The Addams Family
A genuinely god awful experience. filled with some of the most assholish level design I've ever seen.
Muppets Party Cruise
Muppets Party Cruise
Mario Party but boring and unfun.
Barbie Horse Adventures: Riding Camp
Barbie Horse Adventures: Riding Camp
It took everything from the last Horse Adventures game and just made it worse. Who in their right minds thought it'd be a good idea to have the game be an open world with a camera this horrible.
No wonder the Barbie Horse Adventures series is dead.
Breaking Bad: Criminal Elements
Breaking Bad: Criminal Elements
I feel betrayed, I'm Breaking Bad so hard right now, I Better Call Saul soon, otherwise I might end up like Slippin' Jimmy. :)
Skull Island: Rise of Kong
Skull Island: Rise of Kong
People who've said this is "the worst game of 2023" really need to play more games, or at least play more licensed video games, because while this is a fucking awful game; I've seen far worse come out of the AAA seen and they have even less of a reason to end up the way they do.
New Ghostbusters II
New Ghostbusters II
Out of all the Ghostbusters games on NES the bests one was the one not released in the US, yeah that seems to track in most circumstances.
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
I mean it's fine I guess, when it comes to Atari games where it's so simple I can't really say much about it other then. Eh it's just whatever
Universal Studios Theme Parks Adventure
Universal Studios Theme Parks Adventure
Somehow the ET mini-game in this is worse than the actual ET game.
The Nightmare Before Christmas: The Pumpkin King
The Nightmare Before Christmas: The Pumpkin King
This game ironically reflects modern-day Tim Burton very well, it's got style with some really nice visuals for GBA, and nothing else.
Fast & Furious: Crossroads
Fast & Furious: Crossroads
I don't give a shit about Fast and The Furious so this didn't really do a lot for me.
Star Wars: The Arcade Game
Star Wars: The Arcade Game
For an Atari version of an arcade game; it's honestly not that bad, given all of the other horrible ports made around that time.
The Itchy & Scratchy Game
The Itchy & Scratchy Game
They took the literal concept of the game and slapped it onto a SNES cartridge.
All you do is fight Scratchy with really bad hit detection while dealing with bad platforming until you hit him enough to where you fight him in a boss fight.

Honestly I would've liked it if they had gotten more creative with the concept but this was a cash-in so it's not like it mattered all that much to the devs.

3 Comments


BFBB should be higher and where is Hit and Run

2 years ago

sam and max this high is mega based
Seeing I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream one space before The Simpson's game lmao


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