102 reviews liked by carrie


i wish i was the mister mosquito starts drooling

I think Hideo Kojima should do a Rose/M. Bison type thing where he splits his artistic side and his misogynistic side into two completely different people

Say the line, Zhang He-jak!
"I defeated an Officer!"
Haha, I love this little guy

maybe the first instance where i've completed a game and still felt so utterly unfinished with it that i wasn't even sure i'd be fit to write a review

i think this might be one of the best games ever but hold on - give me a few weeks to parse everything that just happened and probably also replay the whole trilogy

in the meantime here's a 9 alright cool thanks

An absolutely stunning remake that renders the original obsolete

you thought halo ce aged poorly?

...then how the hell was bungie utterly outshining that game's level design a whopping 7+ years before it was even conceived?! for a game of so many firsts in first person shooters, it's unnerving how little recognition marathon gets. not to mention how many of its pioneered ideas are often wrongfully attributed to the likes of half life; health stations, friendly npcs and narrative drive, to name a few

more than anything being falsely credited however, i'm upset that this melee combat hasn't been actively replicated by literally every succeeding fps. typically when playing a shooter - especially on harder difficulties - most people start pissing their pants as soon as they fire their last clip. doom with fists only? duke with his shoe? sure, it's been done for challenge's sake, but is it ever optimal?

it is in marathon because your fists don't deal static damage - rather their power increases with speed. on total carnage, the most standard enemy can eat 6 whole pistol rounds before he croaks; that's trivialized to 3 quick meetings between fist and face if you know what you're doing. simply put, punching dudes till they explode is insanely addictive. tell me this isn't the sickest shit and i'll rightfully call you a liar

a few of the levels here would make halo's library check the fuck out (colony ship for sale and pfhoraphobia most notably) but despite the sadism, i'd call most everything here pretty well designed and memorable thanks to some solid puzzles and smartly-placed save points. weapons are fairly basic, but the alternate firing modes (another bungie-birthed fps mechanic - go figure) help vary things up a good bit. shoutouts to the fusion pistol, flamethrower and whatever the fuck that alien gun is in particular - especially the alien gun because i adore it

narratively, there's definitely stuff of interest being brewed and i'm more invested here than i ever was in the original halo's plot, but i can tell things are just getting started. so onward i go - to durandal...

in the tycoon town. straight up "jorking it". and by "it", haha, well. let's just say. My wii remote

THE DEVIL MAY CRY FRANCHISE IS A PSY-OP INTENDED TO DESTROY YAOI
BY MAKING TWO CHARACTERS NAMED DANTE AND VERGIL AND HAVING THEM BE BROTHERS, THEY HAVE OBFUSCATED THE FACT THAT THE DIVINE COMEDY VERSIONS OF DANTE AND VIRGIL (WHO AREN’T BROTHERS) HAVE THE POTENTIAL FOR THE GREATEST YAOI TO EVER EXIST
EVERY COPY OF THIS GAME BOUGHT IS LIKE TWENTY YAOI LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIAS BEING BURNED
THE DEVIL MAY CRY FRANCHISE AND EVERY SPARDACEST SHIPPER MUST BE DESTROYED

Going to be transparent and say this rating is unfair but I just can’t play musou games because they remind me of the hardest part of my day to day life: the knowledge that everyone is an idiot except for me

Fantastic Atmosphere loved tristram, was told this was gonna be very hard but felt nothing since I had played umineko before.