I’m sorry but if you don’t think Mario Party 8 is one of the best ones I don’t respect your opinion. Yes the sheer number of motion control games is absolutely absurd. Yes, it’s got some crunchy graphics. But the economy and items of this game are really fun, it has three fantastic boards, two good boards, and one that’s fun once in a while. The mini game collection isn’t always the best (5 battle minigames seems pretty stingy at this point in the series)

But the minigames, roster, and board selection are all some of the best in the series and absolutely worth any of the minor headaches. Not quite as good as 4 and DS though.

absolutely love when a racing game interrupts the race with text boxes explaining how to race. very intuitive design. also love when the first thing a game bombards me with is "LOOK AT ALL OF THIS DLC YOU CAN BUY"

for what it is, it's fine. it feels like what you would want a hot wheels game to feel like, minus the fact that the tracks are absolutely boring. they only get exciting in very short instances, and they mostly feel bland and too open. did these guys never play Stunt Track Driver??

whatever. 10 year old me would have adored this. glad i played it for free.

This game represents the first time a little 6 year old Cameron played a video game, and, even with practically zero standards for what made the medium quality, would come away from it thinking "Damn, this shit sucks". In some sense, I suppose I owe thanks to The Simpsons Skateboarding for being the first piece of media to throw me headfirst into the crushing sensations known as disappointment, despair and agony.

Seriously though, you'd be hard pressed to find many games that feature level design so at odds with what the game itself is trying to do, combined with being a genuinely garbage game to both play and look at.

"Ecco, if we breathe air, why do we live beneath the waves?"

Before you read on, I'd like you to listen to the music I linked to in that quote. There's a chance it might not hook you, but that track in particular used to mesmerize me when I was little. It kind of perplexes me how beautiful it is, especially coming off something like the GEMS driver, which is often derided for sounding like well....flatulence. Nevertheless, to this day I still think it's one of nicest pieces of music I've heard out of the 16-bit generation. The entire opening sequence still captivates me, from watching Ecco and his pod swim through their home to the close up of Ecco himself at the title screen, it always entices me to watch the entire thing and stay there for a while before I begin the game proper.

Like many I too also enjoyed the start of the game where I just swam around with my pod and got to talk to my fellow dolphins. Not many people like the controls, but I think they're okay. Maybe I'm just in denial and have grown accustomed to them throughout the years, but Ecco's ability to torpedo through the water never ceases to put a smile on my face. It definitely kept me entertained as a kid for the longest time despite never actually progressing from that starting area for a while. I was just enjoying my time as a dolphin, doing tricks and chatting with my pod! Hanging out with my friend Ecco, what more could I ask for? Of course, at some point though...I jumped too high.

WHAM!!

The biggest jumpscare that absolutely shattered me when I was little. Make no mistake, that entire sequence shellshocked me for a very very long time. Not just the sudden disturbance and loud noises, but also the fact that I was now all alone in the unforgiving ocean. No friends here, not even the passerby fish for me to munch on. It was just me...alone...

What awaited me beyond these waters? Regardless, this is when I talk about something else that always astonished me about Ecco's game, which was...just how mean it was. As a young one, I stood absolutely no chance against this beast. Ecco's game...did not want me to beat it. The puzzle solutions made no sense, and checkpoints did not exist. Oh, you died? I guess that's too bad, you'll need to start the sequence over again. Super R-Type back on the SNES trained me on the ways of never messing up, but that game was a walk in the park compared to Ecco, it was straight-forward at the very least. By the way, do you by chance like auto-scrollers?

Welcome to the machine, welcome to hell. Stay a while, I hope you're comfortable...

Suffice to say, even as an adult Ecco's game is nothing but a stone wall of tedium and frustration. In a way it perfectly represents the ocean itself. It's beautiful in every way you can imagine, the ocean's serenity is captured perfectly and the screen even darkens as you descend lower to the depths of the bay, where it then displays the sheer terror and danger of the abyss itself with it's outrageous difficulty, of which I'm sure it would be just as hard to survive there as it is to survive in this game. I marvel at this game every single time I boot it up, as it is a true work of art, a hard to play work of art, but a work of art nonetheless.

Why do I bother playing this game then if it so terrible? To see my friend Ecco, that is why. I still enjoy spending time with him and his pod in the starting screen, jumping for joy in the bay until the game decides to jumpscare me and begin the adventure. An adventure of hardship and dread. Will I ever beat it legitimately? Who's to say? Maybe one day I'll finally get through it, but for now...

Goodbye Ecco, see you my friend....until next time......