To A Decade of My 3DS

I really did get this thing a decade ago on Christmas, huh? This console sure impressed me back when I was at my most impressionable. A whole bunch of cool games with a nice form factor, wrapped up in a gimmick I still find fun, at least.

But it's all got to come to an end at some point. Not just the eShop closing down, which like, fuck Nintendo and all. It's moreso all the wear and tear. The hinge snapped pretty recently while I was cleaning stuff out. It can still turn on, but this on top of the missing Circle Pad and dysfunctional volume is certainly the breaking point where I really should stop using it.

Still, it felt topical to log my thoughts on this system at this point in time. Not going to thank the plastic clamshell or anything overly corny like that, but I wanted a great way to bring closure to such a wonderful library. And hey, look which console was kind enough to log all the games I played in a very convenient order. I excluded a couple games I remember playing more elsewhere, but beyond that, here's all the stuff I've played on my 3DS.

An overwhelmingly ordinary game to lead off with not to much to say, but I guess I sure did get it first. Coins are such a bizarre marketing gimmick but at the very least I remember Coin Rush being a decently fun score attack.
Had this for a while before, but between the timeframe and some of the extra trinkets I associate this one with the 3DS more. They packed in a lot of neat side modes here on top of one of the more serviceable main stories.

Think this one is at the top of my play time just for that one dumb shiny run I did. Funny how time can fly when you're dedicated to sheer Pokemon nonsense.

All in all, a pretty good time that kind of destined itself to relative obscurity via its timing. This game was trying to sell itself by connecting apps on a console with fancier games, you know?

Not that gen 5 is some hidden triumph of gaming that people online can make it out to be, but well, it was a great game to have around.
I figure I might as well log whatever goofy tools are on this thing too. Obviously the whole angle behind this one was to sell the 3D idea with the screen coming to life, which was moderately intriguing for 10 minutes or so. Posing all those little characters to set stuff up has its share of appeal. Certainly less weird than Face Raiders, which I don't remember ever playing.
Man, people just do not give Mario Kart 7 a break. It's sadly even too close to 8 to get an incredible wave of "thing good actually" when the kids who grew up with it make their mediocre video essay channels.

Jokes aside, it's fine, just like all the Mario Karts to be honest. Some cool new tracks, far more cool old tracks, and most importantly, Wiggler.

I used that first person mode more than I really should have.
A far more exciting "weird Nintendo gimmick" had to be StreetPass. Seeing all the people you walked around who also had those was neat, and the extra little games really incentivized giving the plaza some more attention.

Never got any paid games except when they gave the rally one for free or something, so I only remember Find Mii and the Puzzle Gallery. Neither was too complex but they both were fun things to work towards. Well, aside from when the ghosts filtered anyone with the wrong shirts. That was annoying.
I really got a kick out of the 3D effect. Something about making the worlds pop as if they were physically there really appeals to me. It's a bit of a bummer that some later 3DS's don't have that because if I get them as a replacement, I know deep down something will be missing.

You know what I won't be missing? Super Mario 3D Land, because it is boring.
Probably just a Face Raiders reskin with some Pokemon paint for marketing, but so be it. It was a vaguely fun distraction and my exposure to the eternal GOAT, Landorus-Therian.
Perhaps the manifestation of "It's portable though". Monkeys and bloons fighting until their very world collapses into broken black bars. Truly hilarious to watch in real time in the free play rounds.

Other than that, it's BTD4. The awkward middle child of adorable CoolMath fodder and giga scope online focused probably exploitative lifestyle games.
This is the first game I only played by demo. They really hyped this up for being Game Freak's not a Pokemon thing. I mostly remember the Pokemon level which isn't too great a sign. Presumably fun enough for a whole eShop game.
Now here's some solid Mario gaming. Perhaps a little carried by the concept of a Mario game with unique world ideas plural (with such a niche probably encroached by more recent Marios), but sometimes having these simpler Game Boy games is just what a 3DS library needs. Never too hefty but with enough substance and secrets to keep a playthrough going.
Had the demo for this first as well, but I did eventually buy this one. These two Rayman revivals were neat, but this one definitely ended up in the shadow of Legends (which I played on the Wii U, go figure). Actually I just remembered the entirety of Origins is in Legends. It's certainly still another solid platformer to have on the go.
I've said before that I didn't feel much of anything towards this game and that's still true. Any game where you were exploring a 3D space benefits most from the 3D, so that's another thing in its favor at least. I think the multiplayer was decent too, it's just the core gameplay never hooked me.
Dear kid me: why didn't you pick Star Fox 64 instead of this when the Club Nintendo thing gave out free games?

There were mini dungeons I remember, and making those little critters could be neat/funny. But I'm pretty sure this game is way too baby sensory. Still mad about the Star Fox thing. I could've been playing Cotton games but for furries instead of weebs \j
Compared to Mario Land 2, I feel Link's Awakening has the narrative guts to stand on its own as a great time, without any non-inventory qualifiers. Perhaps that's the Zelda difference, but a lot of the ones I've played so far haven't captured that sort of simple but powerful story. Still, this game is always there as a reminder that the Zelda series does have those absolute hits I need to check out.
It's certainly weird looking back at the sorts of doohickeys you decided to buy with actual money a decade ago. Turn your brain off and collect some coins, and I guess this is fun? I was going to say something funny but I really came up blank.
I really wish this wasn't one of those aforementioned "Zelda games that didn't capture me". Something about playing such a sprawling, and admittedly rather empty, game on this tiny handheld screen never worked for me. I think the last thing I got to was clearing the Water Temple?

Which certainly reminds me how fun this game was. Some alleged QOL stuff combined with the original's compelling 3D dungeon design makes for a game that definitely deserves its accolades. I just hope I get the chance to see it that way someday.
Honestly, it was too much money for something that can be replicated by Bulbapedia. But there were some silly quizzes to try (and even generate your own), and the appeal of seeing the Pokemon in 3D was cool for the brief moment before the thing 2 sections later. As much as I wouldn't get something like this now, I can't bring myself to call it a waste.
Garbage, in the literal sense. A piece of junk to score some disgust and be promptly walked past. I am never dedicating another earnest thought to this again.
Here's a game that I really remember being hyped for. And rather contrary to what most people would probably say, I think it paid off in the end.

While Black and White were definitely the turning point for the series' presentation, the batch of 3D games do feel distinct from it. Such as the Exp Share which has always been the dumbest thing ever, or the relentless self referential behavior.

Of course, who cares when you've got the PSS. A snappy, fun way to meet randoms and friends alike over the Internet that it almost feels like I'm imagining something of that caliber could ever come from the world of Nintendo. They certainly got back to form with Festival Plaza.

While I never did any real battles (a subtle nod to how not good I was back then), the ease of IV breeding, EV training and the like compared to past gens definitely inspired me to think about competitive more. This coalesced far more on Showdown, but I still believe the sensibilities forged by this game are valuable.

Also, I saw Miiverse right after this icon. Wild times, huh?
Another demo again, and thank goodness for that if the snowball level is anything to judge it by.

Never played the console version either, but Lost World is so weird. It seems polished but with those scuffed levels and stupid ass villains I still think it looks pretty bad.
I just now fully took in how the painting thing is meant to use a new angle for 2D Zelda, both with the camera and the gameplay. That's cool. I had a lot of trouble thinking of anything else to say because it's mostly just odd. What kind of game is just swiping the level design from Link to the Past, but then barely connects to it?
As someone with likely too much exposure to Mario RPGs, the nerd hype was definitely real here. Overall ended up being pretty solid, and there's some fun spectacle with some of the enemy attacks and especially this iteration on the giant fights.
My beef with this is probably overstated here, but I don't really see the hype. I think I remember with to the right for a bit and then stopping when I got to some timed challenge.
First games in this big franchises always end up so primordial, don't they? Sonic 1 is perhaps the true "one third good" Sonic no one cares enough to admit. I do also definitely dig how the 3D looks with the sprites here.

Also shoutouts to my shitpost review on this, definitely one of my finer works.
Hey, I downloaded this whole thing from the eShop. I remember them making a big deal out of being able to download full on games, like New Super Mario Bros 2 was the first one and all that.

A game generally batting alongside Return to Dream Land on the go is nice to have, but I really didn't like how the Hypernova bits turned out. Way too tedious for how simple of puzzles they are.
I forgot why I added this here. I just hope I can figure out how to get this working again so I can rescue my starter Empoleon.
Another game on here more for obligation of being a thing I only played on my 3DS. But uhh... I lost it? That doesn't happen a whole lot, but I think when I got it preowned with no case it just was too hard to track. Happened to Super Star Ultra too, which is a much more noticeable than this nonsense.

I think I just wanted Manaphy. Despite knowing that was once per cart.
Here's an event for the ages. Obviously got overshadowed by the Wii U one real quick, which itself is apparently now the victim of the Smash cycle.

It's like, Brawl had the little stupid website where I learned what teching was and went to practice it specifically as Yoshi. But here everything was relayed through big trailers and presentations, it's the moment where Smash embraced its destiny as the adrenaline shot for any set of commercials. I'm probably just rambling because I wasn't online for the Melee and Brawl E3 reveals but it feels like something's different.

Also, Smash Run. I know it's the best part of this game and so do you. When are we getting Smash Run back
I got this to try the ORAS demo, and then one of my friends offered a code for it and I felt like a jerk. Besides that it's cute.

No silly fairies so simply an imperfect replica of Panel de Pon but what can you do, it's still got some nice Johto scenes and remixes.

I think this game made me hate Dragonair as the requisite puzzle game boss bastard. Dragonite was always cooler than you, you dumbass noodle bitch.
Instead of making the same done to death jokes, I get to complain about past self again! Another freebie and this time I chose this over Kid Icarus Uprising! Was it really worth it to see how bad it truly was little bro?

Ehh, I guess it's not all bad. Certainly experiencing firsthand helped with letting go (as well as the boon of playing Peaknigmansion).

Probably giving it more credit than it deserves, though. What was the suggestion in my review? It could be an open world by leveraging a unique economy, with items strewn throughout as world keys? From this? Maybe I'll always be too foolish to realize Sticker Star is best avoided.
From Big "short n sweet gameboy game is nice on the 3DS" comes the hit Game & Watch Gallery 3! They added a whole bunch of personality to these games (while also having ones closer to the originals), added some jolly little tunes, and boom! Fun little time.

Thinking about this now, it's weird Nintendo never gave Game & Watch a shot in the mobile space, those punchy little games feel like a great fit. I guess they just couldn't prey on gambling addictions with bikini alts of the Wolf from Egg.
Man, how bored was I to play two Pokemon f2p games?
You wanna know my true darkest secret? The reason I always shit on these pay to win games/microtransactions is because whenever I'm tempted enough to pay in one, it's never worth it and I feel like an idiot. "I need gems for the Sinnoh zones because I like Sinnoh" no I didn't. Shut up. That money could've gone to real games.
Some more gen 6, this time in a region that I've had some choice words about in the past. That's not to imply my Pokemania had worn off yet though; I can still recall my Secret Base spot on Route 119 on the left with those Acro rails.

Exp Share definitely didn't fit this one I swept through everything. I promise I'll stop bringing it up but man. Sometimes they'll automate the game right under your nose and it sucks every time.
There was a guy I talked to in art class. Never hung out with him any other time but we chatted during class, the usual, you know.

And he liked Puzzle & Dragons. So I figured I'd put it on my phone, why not. Think I stopped caring once the gacha paywall kicked in but it didn't do me any harm.

And here's another Puzzle & Dragons, on my 3DS. A fossilized record of some long gone days that never meant too much, but I'm happy to keep it around.

It's uh, whatever. Sure is good at reminding me I'm bad at this, whether in the generic RPG flavor, or the surprisingly harder Mario flavor.
I only played the demo again, I have to know. Is this series any good? The whole ring auto battle idea seemed neat. It's just got such an unapproachable energy because it's like, Pokemon except I'm the old person this time. Do the people waxing about how misunderstood it was online just have the sort of one-in-a-lifetime nostalgia for this that I do with Platinum, or is there more there?
OOOOOOOHHHHHH
This one burned me.
You crossover two Mario RPGs and can't even bring anyone from them besides Starlow? The Mario Mandate shit is such a forced meme but come on, what was stopping them from at least make some blatant fanservice the superboss instead of fuckin, Dry Bowser? Then maybe I would have cared enough to not cheese it.

Beyond that the game is just kinda ass anyways. The most basic blob of nothing while you have the tedious task of jumping around with an extra button. Oh and then quick copy broke every fight I remember that one.

also if they had stock music for mario rpgs itd be this games soundtrack. also the papercrafts as the spectacle fights may be one of the funniest downgrades in any series. fuck this game is so bad. at least i knew sticker star would be bad going in.
Likely recognizable as a game I have very... interesting (and correct) opinions on. Finally getting to play the first one of a series so pivotal to my childhood was great. As well as reveling in the chaos of it all. I got to use arbitrary code execution to make this game a Shiny farm for bank. What's not to love?
Now this is what Triple Deluxe was building up to. The gimmick is far closer to the usual Kirby stuff while still feeling distinct, which was my main issue last time. Plus the theme is a lot more fun, and even though the story certainly could be described by that one Spongebob rollercoaster gif, I think it's pretty effective for what it is.

Triple Deluxe has better subgames though.
Apparently this guy drops in a week or something? I hope he's ok...

Probably should have given these another pass at some point, I couldn't figure them out at the time but I think they'd be more fun now. For a similar reason 6 was the definite winner of them, which is funny now with the whole Megaman & Bass thing.
I don't remember this one as much as Mario Land 2 and it definitely leaned more into the slower pace, but hey!
Wario!
So here's another attempt at a narrative focused Pokemon game after gen 6 totally dropped the ball on that, albeit maybe to the early game's detriment. The story definitely grew on me in the end, plus this game introduced a pretty solid cast of critters. I think it wasn't in 3D though, which makes me sad.
Another one. It's really easy to overblow a preference between vanilla and ultra in either direction since it mostly comes down to story vs gameplay. I find the gameplay isn't such a step up to warrant the narrative cuts. Shiny hunting was a blast here though.

The third version thing definitely felt worn out here, mostly because it's taking the aesthetic of B2W2 without revamping the story and map design. At the same time, though, given that gen 7 was the first one where the dev constraints were really obvious, it's probably for the best they cut down, and eventually stopped these third versions altogether.
The last demo here, where I could definitely tell this wasn't worth the money. That much for a minigame collection with the Switch on the horizon? Seriously? I'm not that desperate for 3D Kirby gameplay.
It's unironically pretty unsettling that a franchise marketed on being as tame as Kirby is doing pay to win stuff. It is not cute that Magalor's apples are part of his lore and his Star Allies moves. That shit has almost certainly ruined someone's life.
I'm surprised this of all games was what sold me enough on Metroid to try some of the older ones because it's not that good. The control scheme is simply not meant for mortal hands. Thanks for leading me to the version of you on the Game Boy that's better in every way, I guess.
I got to borrow all of 3DSFE from a friend, and it went pretty well for a batch of games I overall don't really like too much. Awakening has this inexplicable vibe of just being way cooler than it has any right to. Even as my first FE game I could recognize how snowbally it was, but that didn't really matter.
For the most part, this one feels like a second pass at Awakening, with all the routing and some new interesting pairup mechanics. The main place where it falters is in that "being cool" category due to being Fates. Some of those later maps like the Camilla one are quite garbage too.

I still think it's funny how the final boss won't even initiate attacks on you for a while.
It being the best of the three is such a boring take but it's not fair when it's the only remotely enjoyable one. Definitely forces you to cook early on with all the fates specific stuff, but it kinda loses me with the shitty endgame maps like the hinoka one.

Also it has annoying vibes now. You're still a Fates game, cool off buster.
I blanked out on this one. Hero Felicia, Dread Azura one rounding her mom. Recently I've seen some pushback against the meme of it being an irredeemable dumpster fire, and that's probably true, but like it's Revelation. I don't care enough to check.
Tenor memes aside, both of the Valentias are just really banal and boring. The graphics are definitely well done, which is a legitimate draw, but that's not doing enough for me.

Plus some of the other weird changes. Like I'm pretty sure what Gaiden was missing was map design, not some guy lookin through transparent bars at Mathildas chest
During the reckoning of the eShop, upon heaps of garbage, I found this gem. And yeah, Gunstar Heroes goes pretty hard. You're just shooting through everyone and that's enough for a banger time.
I remember someone telling me visual novels are best experienced on handhelds like a good book, and I'd say this was a great example of that. Ace Attorney is self evidently over the top, but has that right mix of goofy charm and genuine moments to get me caring about this little cast.
This song on my 3DS theme made waiting for this last batch of three games to install a bit more, after witnessing those marbles drop into the game box for the last time, really bittersweet somehow. This PSP take on the Scrimblo platformer generally captures that sense of childhood whimsy, but this moment now just feels like wistfully looking back on times long ago.

And that's probably how I feel about this whole console and this little catalog. The 3DS (and Vita too I assume) were realistically the last dedicated handhelds these companies would make. The Switch is the now the home of the big Nintendo hits (even if the Pokemons and Zeldas aren't good 🤭), while the Steam Deck can probably run anything 6th gen.

Gurumin feels just right on the 3DS (even if the Steam port is probably better great argument you've got here me). It's a console where the little games got to pop more than ever before, and I'll miss it.
...miss it in an official capacity, actually.
Yeah so as they all say, after a surprisingly simple (sorry kye) procedure, I got a little silly.

Starting with Wario Land 4, I have to wonder why they never did anything else with GBA games. No one would care about booting to DS mode without save states if it meant playing a game as good as this. Quick but interesting levels to play, all coated in some glorious GBA rotation artifacts and more Wario.

Editor's Note: My app on the 3ds makes the "wario land 4 on the game boy advance" noise when you pick it. Which is pretty epic
Going handheld boosts Emerald Rogue's power tenfold, what a fun game. I named a Darkrai Banban once and gambled on modern Dark Void.
Here's a game that suffers the most from my broken console because the save data is stuck on there. It started off as just some Thracia cheer, but come on. Lady who can remote heal the people she healed before by doing anything else? Who comes up with this, I need more.
Unfortunately I was never too interested in this one. Sunsoft just has a nasty habit of sticking in the worst section/boss you've ever played in your life into what would otherwise be a cute scringly game. I've failed you Yakopoo.
If roguelikes are so bad, then how come taking the Rogue out of Emerald makes it five times worse? Checkmate.

Well, I guess you can't go too wrong with another Pokemon on the go. Even when I wanted to skip Fly for a goof and realized it'd require zigzagging 4 times around the region for the hideouts.
Here's the catalyst for all those emulators from that one list. It was kinda cool to pull off and I like how it'd probably work on a DSi too.

Beyond that, it's more Ace Attorney, not too much to add. This is definitely a good one though, not sure why it ended up so divisive.
Notable not as I game I could play, but as a game I couldn't play on my 3DS. That Genesis emulator started missing a bunch of tiles or something and the waterfall effect looked pretty seizure inducing. I could also hardly get the SNES one to boot Mario RPG. Not trying to speak ill of the creators of these, since it's clearly a lot of work to try and cram 16-bit hardware into a stupid little DSi. Just a bit weird that Twilight Menu decided to bundle these in when there were so many issues.

Thusly, Panorama Cotton is the final test for any Genesis emulator. Never released in America and features tons of psuedo 3D fuckery. If your emulator runs Panorama Cotton it's gonna work for anything.
Only played this once or so, I fell off from it pretty quick. It's so weird to have a "punishing" rpg (read: shit just happens and you die) where you save before each battle. Admittedly, maybe the top 1 use of Play Coins in any 3DS game.

But well, I know lots of people like this one (along with the rest of the series) a lot. I only got to scratch the surface of a side of the library I never considered prior. Like, how many third parties did I actually play on this thing?

Well, unless I try repairing or replacing my 3DS, that's probably the last of those third parties I'll be experiencing. I'm glad there's more life for this console for many other people (fuck nintendo) but that's it for mine. It's been nice to reflect on all of these games, even despite the weird picks along the way. What a lovely little system.

1 Comment


4 months ago

The Yokai Watch series is indeed not shabby - I'm playing through the second one right now and it totally blows the first one out of the water. I've heard 3 is even better. Honestly the first game might be the worst in the series and it kind of turned me away from the series at first but I'm glad I jumped back into it.


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