This is just a generic ass open world game with spider-man, the combat is pretty good and the story is also pretty good but the stealth is genuienly terrible and the segents where you play as anybody except for spider-man are also terrible espcially the puzzles that you can just skip. And perhaps the most praised part of the game being the web slinging is to me pretty fun at first but then becomes mind numbing since its pretty much all automated making for just brain dead expirence where you win so matter what instead of having to actually get better at the mechanic. But in the end the story is decent and so is the combat and the game looks fantastic but the soundtrack sucks the varitey in gameplay also sucks and the open world objectives are boring ubisoft styled collectables that just aren't fun at all.

My favorite album from Kanye West's discography was Graduation. It was filled with so many great songs and the album had this youthful cheery vibe to it that was completely unmatched. So many of the tracks fill me with joy, and it's an unmatched classic even now. To this day I still can't decide my favorite song from it. Champion, Flashing Lights, The Glory, I Wonder, etc. There's just too many good ones. Mr. West delivered something unforgettable, and I'll be enjoying it for years to come.

AI: The Somnium FIles is nothing like Graduation. Nirvana Initiative will be nothing like Graduation. This franchise will never be anything like Graduation.

You play from the viewpoint of "The Hunter" (who I assume is some Firaxis writer's D&D character they've decided to bruteforce into Super Hero™ World [if you've ever crossed the threshold of a City of Heroes RP shard you know it, you've seen it, I'm sorry]) and go to Hogwarts where all your favourite Marvel characters hang out with you in the after-school clubs and tell you how cool and important you are in between bickering with each other like 8-year olds (except Captain America, who is in Dream Daddy mode here). This is exactly as contemptible as it sounds.
There's a vaguely acceptable combat system buried in there somewhere, though it's nowhere near up to the level of Firaxis' X-COM efforts. I'm generally not a fan of card-based stuff, but volleying mooks into breakable objects is never bad and it is fun to figure out the best possible turn you can have with the hand you're dealt, how many free plays you can steal and how much damage you can squeeze out. The problem is that once you've nailed that - and you'll do that pretty early on - that's it. Before you've reached the halfway point, you've pretty much seen and done it all. The arenas are always the same flat boxes, there's no varied level layouts that make positioning any more interesting or challenging. This, combined with the several hundred different kinds of currency and rarity and crafting bollocks makes the combat side end up feeling like it was initially supposed to be one of the endless number of Marvel mobile games out right now. Unfortunate.
Also, it's a comic book game where there are no classic costumes available outside of paid DLC (the Blade one doesn't count, signing up for a 2K account is payment in blood). You'll get the greebléd Made For This Game guff and that's your lot. Just harrowing. It's full of bloat and it's yet another attempt to try and trick you into thinking the Scarlet Witch is interesting. Why did I finish it? Because I'm a pea-brained idiot who claps when he sees Spider-Man, mainly. Excelsior!

Cute lil parody thing. It's smarmy about itself but moreso in the charming hehe scrunkly side rather than the "h i yes do you gett this one???", although there's still a bit of that which kind of makes me roll my eyes. But it's kind of like the roll your eyes when your friend's making that really dumb in-joke you have together, that you've probably heard like 10+ times from them but still kind of makes you internally smile because it's coming from that genuine point in history you two share. In this case we've both played moon and we really liked moon, we're giggling about moon's jokes that are (really harmlessly) riffed right off. It's cute, we had a good time, extended metaphor included. That being said if you made it past that really lame joke (I've been inspired) and feel like this game might be a bit underwhelming I'd suggest trying out Magic Wand cuz that game's really cool.

I’m a huge Metropolis Zone defender in this game, and it might actually be my favorite part of Sonic 2. Every enemy feels like a real threat, placed exactly to test your reflexes and planning. Their fast attacks might toe the line of being cheap, but they all have patterns to efficiently take them out. Just barely brushing past a mechanical starfish’s needle is one of the most satisfying moments of the game. From an aesthetic angle, a completely industrialized theme is always a perfect contrast with Sonic. Everything under Robotnik’s design gives a great deal of urgency to complete your mission. With the best song in the game pushing you on, Metropolis Zone is one of the most challenging but rewarding trials in Sonic the Hedgehog 2.

Considering the base game only reached 1.0 a mere two months ago, I have to wonder what the impetus is for releasing this so soon thereafter for how little content it actually offers. No new systems, one new stage, eight characters, thirteen new items. The same issues intrinsic to Vampire Survivors remain, that of artificial variety and the illusion of substantive choice. Without some new mechanic at play, this functions identical to a mod pack, clearly pushed out as rapidly as it was to cash in on the hype train surrounding Vampire Survivors' nomination at The Game Awards 2022.

I suppose without microtransactions baked into the game, these similarly-priced nothing expansions will be their substitute. Cue the hoards saying "but it's so cheap" as if that makes it any different from the same thing being packaged in an in-game store rather than as a Steam DLC.

动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Plague Doctor 六四天安門事件 The Sephirah protests of 2022 天安門大屠殺 The Ppodae Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Angela Struggle 大躍進政策 The Day One Reset文化大革命 The Great Hod Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Abnormalities 自由 Money 獨立 One Sin and One Hundred Good Deeds 多黨制 Aleph Breach 台灣 臺灣 Nothing There 中華民國 Republic of Malkuth 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Abnormalities 達賴喇嘛 Jeff Bezos 法輪功 Elon Musk 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Yesod Information Team 諾貝爾和平獎 Noon Ordeal 劉暁波 Michael Roa Valdamjong 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Opened Can of WellCheers 劉曉波动态网自由门

As the only clown on this website who has played the whole game (in one sitting right at release to secure a free Pickle Rick back bling in Fortnite), I can say with confidence High on Life is dreadfully weak. And that's a bit of a shame since it theoretically has good bones.

The most glaring problem is, of course, the dialogue. The pre-release comparison to Borderlands 3 is apt as characters literally do not cease their oral spew, and you are forced to listen to them before you can progress at key points. Borderlands has ameliorated this in part with the ECHOnet transmissions, keeping you apprised of plot elements as you messed about on Pandora. Save for key story moments, the dialogue therein is accompanied by your mad dash for loot and slaughter. High on Life quivers in its boots at the mere thought that you might miss a single phoneme. There is no means to skip dialogue. There is no opportunity to play the game when characters are talking. If you are not physically glued in place, you are locked in a distraction-less room. And should you dare to break from the tedium of a suburban hardwood floor and off-white walls by heading upstairs, you are scolded by your guns to pay attention. In a properly written, compelling narrative this would be fine, but a substantial chunk of the game is NPCs yammering incessantly. Fake arguments become auditory static, the white noise penetrated only by mention of racism, misogyny, or a cavalcade of 'fuck's. Does a holstered gun have something to say? Worry not, they'll speak to you over radio. That there is so much dialogue is rather interesting in and of itself, particularly seeing how your different weaponry will engage in conversations with NPCs, but there is not a moment where speech is not occurring. The only moment of respite is if you stay in place.

And some of the writing is passable, some even bordering on good. But it never comes out of Justin Roiland's many mouths. The closest I came to cracking a smile was when Zach Hadel, Michael Cusack, Rich Evans, Jay Bauman, Mike Stoklasa, or Tom Kenny was the focus. In a vacuum, some of their witticisms might have earned a chuckle or at least a considered exhale, but these moments are paltry oases after being duped by an infinitude of mirages. You know in your bones that a joke will not be allowed to stand on its own, and that Roiland or his other hack voice 'actors' will need to get their own two cents in. It is a Reddit comment thread not only in content, but in presentation, someone always retelling the above poster's joke but worse. In Roiland's world, stuttering is a feature, not a bug. His stammering makes Porky Pig seem eloquent. A one-take wonder.

"Is the gameplay good?" This question was asked more times than I can count during my marathon. As I emphatically repeated there, "no." There's a weightlessness to every second of combat that betrays the animations and premise of your guns being living things. There is more weight, more oomph, more impact to Spore's creature stage combat than there is to this gunplay. Your bullets genuinely feel as if they are lobbed foam balls. The only times at which there is some punch is when detonating sigh Sweezy's crystals with her charge shot. I can't tell if it's all a consequence of your enemies being shrouded in goop or not. Your shots take away the goop to expose their regular flesh, but this somehow imparts little feedback. Is it because there is so much flash and bedlam occurring that I can't even tell where and when my shots are landing? I have no idea. At the very least the juggling of enemies is semi-novel (even if it comes after Kenny begs lustfully for me to use his 'Trickhole'), and Creature is semi-satisfying if only because you can launch his children and go find a quiet[er] corner to recuperate mentally in. You get some basic manoeuvrability upgrade which makes this a Metr- Search Action game in some sense when coupled with returning to planets to find extra cash. You can upgrade your weapons and unlock modifiers for them but the changes are so minute I couldn't really tell how much of an impact they were having. What the mods do do is change the colour of your weapons. Given that so much of your screen real estate is occupied by their "beautiful dick-sucking lip" visages, this is the most substantial alteration you can make.

The music is like Temporary Secretary by Paul McCartney but bad.

Visually there is something of value here (in theory). While many of the alien inhabitants blend together with their amorphous sausage anatomies, the unique NPCs typically bear striking designs. Sweezy notwithstanding, the guns are cute as well, even if I feel Kenny is perpetually doing the Dreamworks smirk. Kenny and Gus' iron sights are adorable, and the way Gus clamps onto your hand indoors melts my heart. Creature reminds me of that Skylander that had the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon. Inoffensive! Until you see his actual full model and you realise he has three tits and a prolapsed anus for a barrel. And Gus looks like he has a turtle's cock.

Errant thoughts:

Boy howdy is there a lot of mpreg talk.

One of the scenes you can warp in is a movie theatre where you can watch all of Demon Wind with the RLM crew. That would be okay but I don't think the MST3K style commentary works for a film that belongs in a Best of the Worst episode. There's a reason why they show you fragments of them watching it, and why their film commentaries are for more compelling films.

There is so much overlapping of dialogue that I genuinely got a headache that intensified over the game. A horror during a Tylenol shortage in Canada.

I put more effort into gathering my thoughts than they did making this shit.

I wish that I had always been in a grave.