i am so fucking tired of every game being sekiro. please god can one acton game come out where you do something besides read animations and deflect on the right key frames. can one historical game about the tokugawa shogunate have some personality to it and not be more boring than reading a book about the actual events. can one open world game come out and have shit to do in it thats fun and beneficial for more than just clearing icons and getting bigger numbers. anyway, Like a Dragon: Ishin! is available now on digital storefronts everywhere

I think the most impressive thing about Ace Attorney is its ability to combine character design, limited animation, and writing to instantly establish the personalities of its characters. All it takes is one glance and reading one line of dialogue to instantly know who they are and to create a voice in your head for what these people sound like.

It's doubly impressive considering that this was originally a GBA game from 2001 that wasn't localized for four years! And on top of that, the localization is superb! This is one of the funniest games I have ever played; from the dialects of these absurd characters, to Phoenix's interactions with the main cast, to the subtle references to pop culture, to the not-so-subtle yet hilarious puns in all of their names that make you begrudgingly chuckle, this game is a comedy gold-mine.

The one thing that I think makes this work most of all is Phoenix himself. The aforementioned writing and limited animation do a great job in establishing his sarcastic personality, his sense of justice, the moments when he gets way in over his head during court, and the interactions that make him feel like the only normal person in this wide cast of characters. But above all, we get to hear Phoenix's internal thoughts. He has some remark or inquiry about everything, whether that be the bonkers things that come out of witness' mouths, or the important details in cases that turn the tide in his favor. Getting to hear exactly what he thinks is brilliant; it establishes his personality, makes us feel more intimate with him as the playable character, and prevents him from coming off like a jackass or an idiot by saying everything he thinks out loud like many characters in Japanese media do. Great stuff.

And what you get in the end is a fantastic visual novel with great puzzles, writing, characters, humor, stories, and especially fantastic music. I didn't talk about it at all because my words simply can't do it justice.

I highly recommend 8-bit Music Theory's and New Frame Plus' videos about Ace Attorney, as they do a great job at taking a deep dive into how exactly the music and animation (respectively) in this series works so well.

Maybe one day, you’ll remember this place…

A Link to the Past starts on a stormy night...

I actually never have beaten any 2D Zelda games until now, for reasons that are a story for another time, but I have played an tried quiet a ton of them, some until the half-way point or even a bit after that, and the one thing they all share in common is how well they sell this larger than life epic, an adventure with its silly moments, but that it still feels consistently ‘’grand’’, and the menace of evil looming over the heads of everyone in Hyrule. This isn’t a complain, not in the slightest, and that isn’t the reasons I didn’t see any of those games to the finale, is just a part of their identity, like the dungeons, vast worlds opened by upgrades, and Octorocks…

Link’s Awakening begins on the quiet coast…

…But Koholint Island felt different. It still has the many dungeons with their bosses —some being not that great to be honest, at best they end too soon and at worst they are slow or overly simple—, it still has the usual items and upgrades, it has a TON of Octorocks ; in many ways, it still has the mark of 2D Zelda…only instead of feeling like an epic , at times it feels closer to a fairy tale.

Mist forest filled with secret passages and tricker raccoons, songs of fishes and frogs that give new life to what has been gone for a really long time, and what’s perhaps one of the funniest side quests in any game that’s essentially just an item-trade hunt, but it goes on and on across the entire island and your final reward is basically getting two items and scammed, it’s amazing!

There’s a joy to be found in the island, be it the in the little chats with the weird folk or the great search for the color dungeon; even when you aren’t at one of the incredible dungeons, which from a design perspective are the most fun I’ve had with 2D Zelda ever, I never felt like I was losing time or getting side-tracked. The little things like walking a Chomp-Chomp around and playing a crane machine feel just as important as getting the fabled legendary instruments, so mundane but at the same time so mysterious, so fun, so dream-like.

The diorama comparison was also completely on purpose, the toy-like feeling the remake offers is nothing short of amazing, everything feels made out of plastic and clay in such a purposeful way I got nothing but praise for it, and playing through this world reminded me of the tales I made while playing with my tales, distant memories flourishing amidst a world full of wonder and shells.

It sucks that it comes to a price; the game’s frames tank… a LOT, sometimes in the dungeons, but mostly out in the open, and it’s pretty noticeable. I understand that running a completely ‘’open’’ island with such wonderful visuals would have its consequences on performance but I would lie if I said it sometimes felt a lit too much, and I’m left wondering if maybe a bit more time in the oven or a patch or two would have helped things, ‘cause as it is it can feel jarring and take you out of the dream.

It's honestly a bit of a weird remake at times; the fact the jump item isn’t immediately binded to a button permanently boggles my mind considering just how essential jumping is for the whole adventure, especially the scroll sections; that plus how cryptic some enemies’ weaknesses can be compared to others which are pretty much clear as day and not being able to use the D-Pad in any way despite Link snapping into the eight set directions , I’m left wondering, more-so than after playing any other remake, how the original holds-up and if maybe it can feel more consistent. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still in love with the visuals, and things like the Telephone Hint Huts and are a godsend for people like me, but I feel like I’ve missed something by not playing the original… or maybe I’m just searching excuses to return to the island.

You have no idea the mental strength I’m putting in to not talk about every single interaction and moment, ‘cause Link’s Awakening feels special, like a dream, yes, but also like a pas memory, memories of spending summers at the beach and waling along hills, memories of thinking of adventure and meeting strange yet lovable folks, scattered memories from a distant past or even a completely different Goomba-infested reality, memories of songs so far away they are beginning to echo…

I feel like I’ve been missing something incredible by not playing this sooner, yet I’m happy to have finally clicked with one of Link’s adventures, and especially this one. It’s fun, it’s carefree, it’s exciting… and beautiful in its own particular, amazing way, to be honest…

…and then, it’ll become real.

I love goats; they're such cool animals. I would say goats are the GOAT, but sheep are the actual GOAT if you ask me. But there are a lot of similarities between the two! For instance, did you know they're both part of the Caprini tribe?

This is all relevant because Corn Kidz 64 is all about goats. Well, you're playing as a goat; Seve, the single horned kid! He looks like he lives in a Hot Topic along with his friend Alexis; who also happens to be single horned. I bet they listen to Korn on the daily. I'm sure Issues would be their favourite considering it's the best Korn record.

I think the story has something to do with Seve having reoccurring dreams about nachos, and Alexis trying her best to break him free. I say "I think" because I found the story very confusing to follow. One minute you're in a playground and then fifteen minutes later you're in a hollow full of palindromes and pigs. I suppose the dream theme of the game could explain the lack of cohesion, but I had a difficult time understanding what the hell was going on besides Seve craving nachos.

The writing is incredibly on the nose to the point it may as well replace your nose, but I think it works well for what they were going for. It's dumb and edgy, but I still found myself giggling every now and again. Sometimes stupid, silly humour like this hits the spot. This game also loves its palindromes. And as a connoisseur of wordplay, I'm all for it!

The audiovisuals replicate the era of the N64, and they do a fantastic job at that. Hell, if this was on N64, it would be one of the best looking on the system! The animations utilise plenty of squash and stretch, leaving for super fluid and cartoony movements. The models themselves feature that low poly N64 charm, and the environments manage to look bleak and haunting while also popping with colour. I’m not a huge fan of the N64 soundfont, but even I dig this soundtrack. It consistently and constantly slapped my striped thigh highs off!

I've rambled this long about the vibes of the game without actually touching upon the gameplay. Dear goat, this game is so much fun. Seeing as you play as a goat, climbing and headbutting are the major mechanics of this game. And because of Seve's singular horn, he can use it as a drill of sorts. Later on, he can even burrow into the ground! The mechanics are pushed to their absofruit limits. This game demands precision platforming. This could definitely be a turn off for plenty of people, but I was all for it. The level design was incredibly challenging yet completely satisfying.

While I normally love collectathons, this game's use of a collectathon structure didn't really impress me much. I mean, I enjoyed roaming these massive playgrounds, interacting with all the NPCs, and taking in the world, but I didn't feel as satisfied collecting the... well, collectibles. It felt a bit arbitrary at times. Progression is typically locked behind doors, and the only way to open the doors is by collecting enough experience. I was never in a situation where I needed to backtrack to collect more experience, but I can imagine it being a dealbreaker for others.

I'd argue the game shined the best when the levels were simply about reaching the goal. The inside of the Hollow Tree and the Tower were my favourite parts of the game for those reasons. There were also mini challenges scattered throughout the two worlds. They reminded me of the FLUDD-less levels from Mario Sunshine, but unlike those stages, you actually had all your tools available.

In spite of how confusing I found the story, I was satisfied with the ending. The climb up the Tower was arduous in the best ways possible. And once I finally reached the top, I was greeted with a blissful credits theme while Seve was forced out of his dreams. No, he never got his nachos. But you know who did? That rat bastard, Alexis. You troglodyte, you shouldn't be eating nachos if you're wearing braces!

One more thing I should note is that Corn Kidz 64 is a very, very short game. There's only two worlds, two linear tower levels, and a handful of bonus levels here and there. But honestly, I didn't feel underwhelmed by the length. Considering how much it pushes its mechanics, I'm not sure how much further they could have gone. I would definitely love to see more of this game, but it still managed to be a short yet sweet and satisfying experience. It may just be the GOAT of goat based games I've ever played!

I’m adding this paragraph in retrospect. I finally fully completed Corn Kidz 64, and holy sweet goddamn. This might be one of the most mind blowing experiences I’ve ever had with a video game; let alone a 3D platformer. I’d have to write an entire video essay about it to truly represent my thoughts, but all I can say is that Corn Kidz manages to push itself to limits I’ve never seen any other game come close to even attempting. On top of the game itself already being a hell of a lot of fun, I think I have to raise my rating to a 4.5/5. I mean; for the love of the dog god, I’ve had dreams about this game and I can’t stop rambling about it to my partner. I never thought a cute little N64 tribute would ever become an intense fixation of mine! But hey, sometimes you just need to design some goofy goat characters, and that’s all it takes to get me attached. The point is, I hecking love this game.