MMK
2017
Bing bing wahoo man in his hattiest adventure yet or whatever.
This is the epitome of "You'll have the best time of your life playing this game, but after it's over, you'll barely remember anything about it". Yeah I said it. Save the turtles.
This is the epitome of "You'll have the best time of your life playing this game, but after it's over, you'll barely remember anything about it". Yeah I said it. Save the turtles.
1994
Returning to this after playing Mother 3 is like having your time machine break down in the 1400s and trying to get a child dying from the turbo-plague to help you fix it.
"You don't get it, the annoying game design is actually good game design because it's funny" - actually kind of true though, not gonna lie.
Somehow less dated than Undertale. Also the soundtrack makes me wanna SLAM
"You don't get it, the annoying game design is actually good game design because it's funny" - actually kind of true though, not gonna lie.
Somehow less dated than Undertale. Also the soundtrack makes me wanna SLAM
2006
This is the best game of all time by several magnitudes.
This review contains spoilers
Chapter 1: Go through the narrow hallway multiple times until the game asks you to go to a castle and sniff a dragon's feet.
Chapter 2: Go through the narrow hallway multiple times until the game asks you to go to a tree and play Satan's Pikmin.
Chapter 3: Fuck you, it's WWE time.
Chapter 4: Go through the narrow hallway multiple times until the game asks you to go through the same narrow hallway multiple times but you're purple now.
Chapter 5: Go through the narrow hallway multiple times until pirates attack eek
Chapter 6: This one is on a train so it gets a pass.
Chapter 7: Skip.
Chapter 8: Peach turns into a goth and I distinctly remember biting my controller as a child because I couldn't beat her.
Exaggerating for comedic effect, this game is fine, but I'll always be a PM64 kind of guy.
Chapter 2: Go through the narrow hallway multiple times until the game asks you to go to a tree and play Satan's Pikmin.
Chapter 3: Fuck you, it's WWE time.
Chapter 4: Go through the narrow hallway multiple times until the game asks you to go through the same narrow hallway multiple times but you're purple now.
Chapter 5: Go through the narrow hallway multiple times until pirates attack eek
Chapter 6: This one is on a train so it gets a pass.
Chapter 7: Skip.
Chapter 8: Peach turns into a goth and I distinctly remember biting my controller as a child because I couldn't beat her.
Exaggerating for comedic effect, this game is fine, but I'll always be a PM64 kind of guy.
1995
Red Goku.
2006
I remember playing this game before I even spoke English and just choosing different letter combinations until the funny worm chanted an ancient spell at me.
Had fun with it, but I can confirm that it's more fun when you know what you're actually doing.
Had fun with it, but I can confirm that it's more fun when you know what you're actually doing.
Somebody please make a spiritual successor of this series already. The children yearn for the worm.
2000
This is the best Paper Mario game and therefore also the best Mario game in general.
My ultimate childhood game and after playing it recently, it's aged so much better than TTYD. Just straight up comfy perfection.
My ultimate childhood game and after playing it recently, it's aged so much better than TTYD. Just straight up comfy perfection.
The only Mario game to feature breast jiggle physics.
The true meaning of "fell off + L + ratio".
This game had so much potential, but Nintendo was too busy striking down fangames to give the villagers more than 3 pieces of dialogue. Still, the first summer back when this game came out was magic.
This game had so much potential, but Nintendo was too busy striking down fangames to give the villagers more than 3 pieces of dialogue. Still, the first summer back when this game came out was magic.
1994
The highest budget Star Wars fanfic ever made.
Nobuo Uematsu looked at "Tarkus" by Emerson, Lake & Palmer and correctly assessed that it's peak final boss theme material.
Nobuo Uematsu looked at "Tarkus" by Emerson, Lake & Palmer and correctly assessed that it's peak final boss theme material.
1997
This game is about the three biggest problems plaguing humanity - global warming, aliens and gaslighting.
Cloud's a fuckin dork. couldn't be me.
Cloud's a fuckin dork. couldn't be me.
2002
If this game released today, Nintendo would have released a Google Docs apology on their Twitter about how they're sorry that it's so buggy and unfinished. Soundtrack slaps though.
2000
Steiner is literally the best fictional character of all time.
It's like every part of the game was made by a different guy. The music, presentation and writing was given to God himself, while the gameplay and battle mechanics were given to a group of New York sewer rats.
Has some of the most memorable moments of any game I've ever played, but I don't think I'll ever return to it because I'd rather watch paint dry than do those god awful sliding puzzle battles.
Has some of the most memorable moments of any game I've ever played, but I don't think I'll ever return to it because I'd rather watch paint dry than do those god awful sliding puzzle battles.