I boot the game up and it's like "walk around without the ability to do anything but jump until an NPC tells you that you need to give him money to open a door and lets you do a spin attack to break the chests containing the money"

No.

Dripping with style and sporting a shockingly gripping and complex narrative, Katana ZERO is an absolute treat from beginning to end. The one stumble is how much of a gauntlet some of the later levels become, to the point where it threatens to become a slog, but overall it's a wonderfully engaging game and its dialogue system is one of the best I've ever interacted with. I look forward to more from the developers.

Decent fun with a friend, but not nearly as interesting or tightly-designed as its predecessor. Not recommended without a co-op partner.

Assault Spy is an excellent collection of combat mechanics and character designs contained within an otherwise mediocre package. Fortunately it knows enough not to outstay its welcome, unlike some of the other games I could describe in such a way, and honestly it really is an ABSURDLY good set of mechanics, so I'm inclined to be kind to it.

Just did not jive with it

Kinda ugly aesthetics imo, level design is fine but pretty basic outside of some sector over sector trickery which doesn't add much, I don't love the way the weapons feel and the enemy animations are rough.

For my money this is the peak of the series' mechanics, and the trademark parody of consumer culture is fully intact and as fun as ever. Just a good time all around.

Kirby is a racer c:

Obviously groundbreaking at the time, and still fairly enjoyable, though it's pretty janky and some of the design decisions are questionable. Not a bad little game, but doesn't benefit from comparison to more recent entries in the genre and its own franchise.

It's Tony Hawk. Tony Hawk is a good skateboarding game. This one doesn't fuck it up. Good job.

It's a Pokemon game that doesn't fuck it up

This game just feels nice to play, it has a really comfy aesthetic

While it plays smoother than its predecessor, the pacing and difficulty curve are an absolute mess and the story devolves into sheer tedium. Unfortunately this game would serve as the template for the series for years to come.

There are some interesting ideas here, the skeleton of a good game even, but unfortunately it's VERY unfinished and the level design simply doesn't fit the mechanics at all. I'd recommend checking it out because it's short and pretty interesting, but don't expect to have a fantastic time with it.

Kingdom Hearts is one few games that I would say deliver on a real time JRPG combat system in a way that feels cohesive and enjoyable, while also delivering a touching and sincere story about a boy trying desperately to find himself and reunite with his friends. Highly recommended.

One of SNK's best in terms of both animation and sheer competitive fun, Garou gets a wonderful port to modern systems featuring rollback netcode. Highly recommended.