"IT'S AN ISLAND, NOT A FAIRY TALE!!!" exclaimed the expendable Treasure Planet extra in the intro to this dark machewr fantasy story where the not-catholic church is as affable as usual (thank G*d, I hate subverted expectations!), later followed up by the stronk rebellious gUrl archetype yelling out and echoing the same very much evident sentiment. And naturally the following cutscene in this grounded tale has a cameo from everyone's favorite Dishonored assasination target portraying a DiDney villain (your royal highness Farquaad). The point I'm making is that this "Revolutionary ARPG taking inspiration from Diablo", where you start the game proper as a hobo washed up on a beach and go around punching crabs, is clearly made by earnest and most of all humble people not unwilling to own up to what kind of work this is. That being a "fantastical story" backed up by a score from the composer of soundtracks for the likes of Command & Conquer 4, F3AR, Tomb Raider 2013, plus all those horror stingers from Dead Space You fondly remember and didNot set the volume for to zer0. Instead of the guy who merely got a Jerry Goldsmith award for his previous work, whom a certain someone claimed would be doing the muzak for all of His studio's future titles.

ThatsRight boys+gurls the day has finally arrived, Runic Games has finally brought us the long-awaited successor to Dark Souls 2 Last Epoch Hob "Us gAmers" and all my fellow Torchlight fans definitely have been waiting for years for (yes I have indeed beaten the better of those two games on "HC" my fellow ARPG enJoYers, Dont Believ Me?????). Get ready to partake early in the next step in the evolution of action role-playing games by chopping down trees for crafting materials as you hunt for fat epic l00t such as apples or swords with riveting attributes like +20% damage against LARGE enemies, or ones with an ego as big as Thomas Mahler's (EAT YOUR HEART OUT NIOH DIABLO 4), so that the upcoming session of iframing through Defanatus the Sordid Executioner's attacks will hopefully end 20% sooner and in turn allow you to move on to the next fleeting distraction being advertised to you in your youtube subscription feed that much quicker.

Just like all the buzzword laden marketing speak promovideos on yootoob and blurbs on your favorite digital storefront purport, this topdown DarkSåul clone with exploration that's as rewarding as in the game they took the stamina wheel from (YaHaHa you found coppercoin$), and itemization that makes Diablo 4 look good in comparison, is a revolutionary take on the genre of games where you clip your sword through enemies because... it just is, OKAY!!! There's all sorts of much needed innovations here like magic that requires you to hit enemies with your stick to fill up your rage meter before you can cast a single heroic strike I mean fireball, an exciting progression system for unlocking more slots in each individual inventory tab, and of course player homes (SimS fans rejoice!) where you get show off to all your justin.tv viewers how close to the entrance you placed your stash and crafting stations that you had to commit deforestation for. I could bring up all sorts of constructive criticisms but that'd be quite redundant since this is an early access game after all, so ResT assured folx, the developers will arduously spend a lot of time on working up excuses for the lack of updates or changes to the unfinished game they've already managed to sell to you without any stated estimation or even a vague guess on how long "EA" might last in the roadmap they refer to. That happens to be a pedantic requirement about semantics mandated by GabeN bytheway, justice shall be servd to teh wickd.....

Ps: SalutationS to any&all gAmers!! go away and take your reactionary 'upvotes' with you, ThanX :~D

I counted four accounts of grenade suicide by the incredible republic clone trooper AI but only one instance of them yelling out SNIPER!!! as I shoOtgun someone next to one of them (both right infront of me naturally) this time. Keeps on impressing me and more importantly making me laugh very hard to this day, but obviously not as much as when the very Gabe Newell circa 2003 proportioned man is stuck trying to crawl into the vent while a silly tune plays, which I Of Course screenshot out of delight on every replay (Dont Believ Me my fellow insincere ironists...?). that bit along with him trying to hide behind a potted cactus in vain is objectivly funnier than evrything in No One Lives Forever 1&2, I'll Have U Know... thanX for reading my latest tumblr post, full spectrum gamers!

it is indeed better than Your favorite third person fantasy action adventure released on the nintendosixtyfour, I am of course referring to Dinosaur Planet, which naturally has as many reviews here as this does. admittedly this doesnt have a soundtrack by David Wise so can it really compete...? but It is objectively better than Jedi Outcast/Academy cuz u can GIB (pls gib ur thanX quake2 engine,). it's Unavailable on all your favorite DRM platforms, And That's A Good Thing!

it's True, All of it, this beloved Games For Windows Live title invented dark fantasy settings, checkpoints, dodging, stamina management, health potion drinking tied to an animation, needing to get your wonga back after you die, so many things in all your favorite PeeCee and PS2 games, but even now we have yet to re-invent hit feedback (we lost that technology two decades ago along with SWAT 3's AI etc. when the Library of Alexandria was tragically burnt down....). sadly tho this Prepare2Iframe title is a bit too hardcoar and trial&error for my tastes, hence why I prefer casual 'bingbingwahoo' games like Captain Claw and Maximo.

You can tell that it's a proper successor to FEAR 2 and Crysis 2 and all your other favorite 7th gen tacticool shooters where the player can't lean. The game this is supposedly aping was a 'holistic creative product' down to the drab urban decay locales idiots complain about, birthed from the minds of software engineers with actual life experiences and a penchant for "kinography", while "the manchildren who liked FEAR" behind this cobbled together store bought asset extravaganza evidently have spent far more leisure time consuming internet mindpoisonS than watching good action movies. Whenever I make fun of a game looking too dark I will be referring to this from now, sry Doom 3, ur out of a job.............

alphafoxtrot 6 has arrived at teh LZ,we are Charlie Brown, hustling&shotgunning towards مدينة الرمال كركند
OORaH, tango down.....but the leader enemy boss of the GLA still lives...OHNo!!! He activated the nuclear missile bomb!!!!!!!!
downloadand play dutycalls starring Kevin McKidd from Dog Soldiers as "Soap" 4free today

ps:the spectre of pnkbstra.exe haunts my machine to this day, because of all those S&Ds I won with my MP5&C4....

almost as authentic and retrõ and FunnY as Kung Fury, definitely captures the super turbo brutal megakill buttmetal ironic&insincere "aesthetic" that Doom and its descendants have been denigrated into within the public hivemind during the past decade+. prepare2frag like no tomorrow in this aimtrainer almost as good as Titanfall 2 (but not quite....) that's so freakin insane&intense that you and your fellow kids might even be up to the task of beating the first half of Quake 3's bot match campaign on nightmare afterwards (dont be afraid to ask for help from daddy tho!...). your guns in this are literal pewpew blasters that are about as limp as the "absolute banger metal that simply slaps" OST and the dicks of the geriatrics in charge of Apogee these days, nuff said.

This toy commercial showing off nothing new nor interesting really makes you feel like a spess mehreen because the player character often has a will of their own (their loyalty is to the EmpraH after all, not the player trying to melee what's infront of them rather than whatever this ultramarineblue AngLe of Deff decides to arbitrarily lunge towards on a whim). Vindicare Assassin running on teh source engine released the same year was a much much much better WarHam game, I think all my fellow fans of overpriced miniature armymen/monsters oft painted in bright primary colors, i.e. vile fascist propaganda, will agree.

Immerself yourself into the role of a BiG Daddy by diving through dumpsters for creamcakes and candybars (turns out Subject DeltaForce is big in more ways than one) in this atlantic adventure that's about as challenging as Fable 2 or really any game when you have a trainer enabled, not like that matters when you can freight train around with a drill and get to kablam collectivist cunts with a double-barrel that actually sounds good, unlike your average modern Dööm game where the combat is about as deep (YeP, I deleted BiG sisters by metronoming between my painkiller stake gun and rokkit lawnchair while they were a helpless stationary ice statue, requires lots of skill believ it or not). Passingly preaches gay fairytale morals like self-renunciation, forgiveness, and the importance of positive parental figures, hence why most intellectuals rejected it in favor of more wh0les0me media like Bioschlock Infinite or Undertale, whose gospel they internalized and preach to this day to make the world an ever better utopia.

"IS THAT NOT THE PRETTIEST YOUNG -WHyTE- GURL IN ALL OF COLUMBIA??" said the mustache twirling tophat man in Ken Levine's vision of a "homogeneous ethnostate utopia", that regardless imports in indentured foreigners (who're keen to inform you in their expensive audio log machine that they hate those crAckAs) to do menial jobs for them despite having access to cybernetics, automatization and literal magic in general. Take to the skies in this rollercoaster of a follow-up to the underwater adventure with no swimming or underwater gameplay, which in turn is about as three-dimensional and vertical as Modern Warfare 2. The influence from Bioshock 2 is clear though given how you can use plasmids and guns at the same time, and not to mention how the living breathing city is depicted and plays out like the animatronic amusement park ride level in that game, complete with animate yet lifeless mannequins that don't say a thing as you filch their hotdogs and pennies to fuel your bloodlust to butcher yet more policemen and revolutionaries who behave like unhinged splicers. Belle from Beauty&TheBeast is for a fleeting moment holding a book called "Assassin's Creed Odyssey" when you first come face2face with her in this Call of Duty campaign, and I'm sure all my fellow astute GoodReads members here picked up on what that was meant to insinuate in this story also about "ending up on a journey that makes one end up a better person", that naturally concludes with the irredeemable Troy Baker and his progeny voluntarily ceasing to exist.

You can tell that this Thief total conversion mod is a proper immersive simulation because your fellows in the co-op multiplayer that everyone but me ignores appear as if they're a head taller than you (#relatable for some I imagine), not to mention how you're physically unable to use an assault rifle if your GunZ skill rank isn't maxed and can even research the spleens of reskinned hammerites to make your monkey wrench do 24.9% more damage to them. Nothing yells VerisimilitudE more than superfluous tabletop RPG abstractions that Underworld was well on its way to file off and were completely gone in the game that this is titularly but ultimately only incidentally the sequel to, I think my fellow wikipedia article writers and the "immersive sim intelligentzia" of bäcklöggd who've given money to NoseDive Studios will agree. SHowDaN is at the top of everyone's favorite bestest vidogam villain lists, which makes perfect sense considering that most folX never even played "System Shock One" and in this game with actual villainS she talks and acts like an impetulant jobber while emailing you skillpoints. In conclusion, any and all quote unquote gamers who suggest to turn off the muzak should be fined&jailed!!!