Me, normally: My stupid dumb ass switch is just a paper weight at this point, piece of shit underpowered console run by a shit company who makes games for toddlers.
Me when Metroid Prime Remastered comes out: Here's 40 Dollars Sir! May I Shine Your Shoes? Let Me Hang Your Coat Up Mr. Nintendo!
Me when Metroid Prime Remastered comes out: Here's 40 Dollars Sir! May I Shine Your Shoes? Let Me Hang Your Coat Up Mr. Nintendo!
1998
so many reviews of this game have people saying "oh it sucks but i love it" or "it's obviously not GOOD but it's good" which is The Coward's Copout. I have no respect for this line of hedging your bets for fans and people who hate it, especially since Sonic Adventure is good.
I am bold enough to say that Sonic Adventure IS a good game. It's creative, made with love and passion, and actually makes good on the no doubt stressful task of translating Sonic into 3D. Of course not everything is going to work, Sonic Team were just fucking nuts, and I have way more respect for a game that shoots for the sun than something that is just another product.
So enough with this "The game is bad but I like it" bullshit. I think for having no other template to work off of, the amount Sonic Team gets right here for technology of the 90s, is genuinely impressive and shouldn't be given backhanded compliments. Sonic Adventure deserves either your love or hate, not some shit in-between.
I am bold enough to say that Sonic Adventure IS a good game. It's creative, made with love and passion, and actually makes good on the no doubt stressful task of translating Sonic into 3D. Of course not everything is going to work, Sonic Team were just fucking nuts, and I have way more respect for a game that shoots for the sun than something that is just another product.
So enough with this "The game is bad but I like it" bullshit. I think for having no other template to work off of, the amount Sonic Team gets right here for technology of the 90s, is genuinely impressive and shouldn't be given backhanded compliments. Sonic Adventure deserves either your love or hate, not some shit in-between.
1998
If You Talk About How Games "Aged Badly" I'm Fucking Stealing Something Out Of Your House
2017
I'll confess that I've only played about 20 minutes of this game, so I'm not really reviewing it for myself, but for my best friend who passed away in March. We lived together so we would hang out and talk about video games almost everyday and before he passed away THIS was his favorite game, full-stop.
It's hard to describe how much I miss chatting with him about Rain World, it made him passionate about game ideas he was programming and passionate about games in general, it was exciting to see him have that spark for making art again. It's cringey, but I wish I could message the developers and let them know how much it meant to my friend that this game even EXISTED, let alone that it was this amazing to him.
The last conversation I ever had with him he was telling me about the lore for Rain World, how he beat every piece of content in it just to learn more about the story, and to my surprise, I found in one of his journals pages of him deciphering the lore and studying it on his own for fun.
It'll be a long while before I'm able to play any of his favorite games again, but I'm going to rate this a 5 on his behalf anyway, as I have no doubt in my mind it's what he would have given it. I'll never know why he chose to leave, but I at least have this game that spoke to him in a way you wish all art could, and as much as I wish he was here to tell you why it's a 5-star game, you'll just have to take my word for it. This was a perfect game to him, and he had way better taste than me!
It's hard to describe how much I miss chatting with him about Rain World, it made him passionate about game ideas he was programming and passionate about games in general, it was exciting to see him have that spark for making art again. It's cringey, but I wish I could message the developers and let them know how much it meant to my friend that this game even EXISTED, let alone that it was this amazing to him.
The last conversation I ever had with him he was telling me about the lore for Rain World, how he beat every piece of content in it just to learn more about the story, and to my surprise, I found in one of his journals pages of him deciphering the lore and studying it on his own for fun.
It'll be a long while before I'm able to play any of his favorite games again, but I'm going to rate this a 5 on his behalf anyway, as I have no doubt in my mind it's what he would have given it. I'll never know why he chose to leave, but I at least have this game that spoke to him in a way you wish all art could, and as much as I wish he was here to tell you why it's a 5-star game, you'll just have to take my word for it. This was a perfect game to him, and he had way better taste than me!
2003
A few years ago I made a very funny joke review, and while I still think it's incredibly funny I also think it's important to get my actual thoughts on DMC2 on record. Game sucks. It's a miracle this game got released at all, and for the amount of time they had to make it it's astonishing that there is a beginning, middle and end. But it all sucks to play.
What IS amusing is the amount of reviews by people who really want to be contrarians, but come face-to-face with some true, unfiltered slop. This is when domesticated dogs meet wolves and realize they aren't built for this. This review page might as well have a "TURN BACK, NO SURVIVORS" for anyone who is bold enough to try and play DMC2 and have fun. It's not built for fun, it's not even built for hate, it's built for nothing.
What IS amusing is the amount of reviews by people who really want to be contrarians, but come face-to-face with some true, unfiltered slop. This is when domesticated dogs meet wolves and realize they aren't built for this. This review page might as well have a "TURN BACK, NO SURVIVORS" for anyone who is bold enough to try and play DMC2 and have fun. It's not built for fun, it's not even built for hate, it's built for nothing.
This review contains spoilers
CW: more of me dealing with stuff. tl;dr, i hate this VN more than i ever did before.
I had already found this to be a cynical and tasteless shock-game for streamers to gawk at back when it was new, but now that i have lived the experience that is the main shock of this game, i think i hate it more than any other game ever made.
i know this is very specific to me, but turning the worst moment of my life into Sonic.Exe has some kind of nastiness to it that i can't quite put away. i had wondered if revisiting it would make me soften on it, and for the first half there is that chilling feeling of helplessness at someone dealing with something you are powerless against. but as soon as it goes into creepypasta horseshit, i remember this VN was made by total shitheads.
a haunted game isn't scary, the silence once the sirens are gone is scary, because it's now just you and the annihilation of your life as you knew it. what's scary is life after the fact, when you are forced to find a new living situation, clean out the old apartment, replay the day over and over again. i get that DDLC isn't trying to make light of suicide or depression, but the way it handles such a destructive topic under the guise of the haunted video game is so ridiculous and preposterous that i hold nothing but contempt for the game and its creators.
i still think this is a cynical ploy to get streamers to gawk at a game and go "WHAAAT? A DATING SIM THAT'S SCARY?!" but now i also think that the developer was so enamored with this idea of being shocking he forgot to say anything meaningful about anything.
I had already found this to be a cynical and tasteless shock-game for streamers to gawk at back when it was new, but now that i have lived the experience that is the main shock of this game, i think i hate it more than any other game ever made.
i know this is very specific to me, but turning the worst moment of my life into Sonic.Exe has some kind of nastiness to it that i can't quite put away. i had wondered if revisiting it would make me soften on it, and for the first half there is that chilling feeling of helplessness at someone dealing with something you are powerless against. but as soon as it goes into creepypasta horseshit, i remember this VN was made by total shitheads.
a haunted game isn't scary, the silence once the sirens are gone is scary, because it's now just you and the annihilation of your life as you knew it. what's scary is life after the fact, when you are forced to find a new living situation, clean out the old apartment, replay the day over and over again. i get that DDLC isn't trying to make light of suicide or depression, but the way it handles such a destructive topic under the guise of the haunted video game is so ridiculous and preposterous that i hold nothing but contempt for the game and its creators.
i still think this is a cynical ploy to get streamers to gawk at a game and go "WHAAAT? A DATING SIM THAT'S SCARY?!" but now i also think that the developer was so enamored with this idea of being shocking he forgot to say anything meaningful about anything.
2023
This review contains spoilers
SPOILER ALERT!! THIS SHIT GETS PERSONAL!!! I'M WORKING THROUGH SOME STUFF!!
so now that i have spent many hours with My House I feel really comfortable digging into it. i found this to be a very emotional experience, and that is mostly due to it coming out at a very specific time for me.
my friend passed away earlier this month, and this game really does capture the sorrow of losing someone so close to you in such a tangible way. the place where they were is now empty, it feels haunted, when i found him that night i spent a few days wishing our apartment would burn down and take every last memory with it, i wished it would stand where it was forever as an untouched monument to him. i would find myself mentally there again, opening his bedroom door. The collection of artifacts that relate to him, there is a burning truth to how My House presents grief and how it really is its own non-euclidean nightmare.
Places that once brought you joy now feel flooded, burnt out, grey and lifeless, your ability to keep track of time and place dissolves as you end up somewhere again and again without knowing why you got there. Things that used to not mean much to you like their favorite drink now carry a significance to them. It captures the things that you can't describe to someone else about it, it really felt therapeutic to feel understood by the game.
The fact that this is done in Doom is a testament to how expertly crafted it is, how the blown-up JPEG of a house really sells the narrative that this is just another house map made in Doom. The tragedy, to me, is that my friend would have loved this mod, this was exactly the kind of shit he went crazy for. Now it's a very personal thing to me as I try to understand why he left me.
My House is not going to be for everyone, we are basically counting down until Markiplier is shrieking over it and there are a dozen of Doom wads about scary houses, but until then this is a powerful piece of grieving that makes you walk through its halls and observe the damage it does.
Perhaps there is also something to be said for how damaging it is the deeper we dig into the meanings, the what's and why's. The distortion becomes unbearable the deeper down the rabbit hole we go. Maybe it was best to leave it as it was while we had the chance? But they left us with so few answers we feel we have to dig deeper.
If I have to complain about something that is free that I felt like I should have paid money for, parts do require you be better at Doom than you might expect. So if you aren't used to circle-strafing and dodging, this mod is actually pretty tough in spots. Other than that, I hope to God no more Doom mods illicit this kind of emotion out of me again.
so now that i have spent many hours with My House I feel really comfortable digging into it. i found this to be a very emotional experience, and that is mostly due to it coming out at a very specific time for me.
my friend passed away earlier this month, and this game really does capture the sorrow of losing someone so close to you in such a tangible way. the place where they were is now empty, it feels haunted, when i found him that night i spent a few days wishing our apartment would burn down and take every last memory with it, i wished it would stand where it was forever as an untouched monument to him. i would find myself mentally there again, opening his bedroom door. The collection of artifacts that relate to him, there is a burning truth to how My House presents grief and how it really is its own non-euclidean nightmare.
Places that once brought you joy now feel flooded, burnt out, grey and lifeless, your ability to keep track of time and place dissolves as you end up somewhere again and again without knowing why you got there. Things that used to not mean much to you like their favorite drink now carry a significance to them. It captures the things that you can't describe to someone else about it, it really felt therapeutic to feel understood by the game.
The fact that this is done in Doom is a testament to how expertly crafted it is, how the blown-up JPEG of a house really sells the narrative that this is just another house map made in Doom. The tragedy, to me, is that my friend would have loved this mod, this was exactly the kind of shit he went crazy for. Now it's a very personal thing to me as I try to understand why he left me.
My House is not going to be for everyone, we are basically counting down until Markiplier is shrieking over it and there are a dozen of Doom wads about scary houses, but until then this is a powerful piece of grieving that makes you walk through its halls and observe the damage it does.
Perhaps there is also something to be said for how damaging it is the deeper we dig into the meanings, the what's and why's. The distortion becomes unbearable the deeper down the rabbit hole we go. Maybe it was best to leave it as it was while we had the chance? But they left us with so few answers we feel we have to dig deeper.
If I have to complain about something that is free that I felt like I should have paid money for, parts do require you be better at Doom than you might expect. So if you aren't used to circle-strafing and dodging, this mod is actually pretty tough in spots. Other than that, I hope to God no more Doom mods illicit this kind of emotion out of me again.
At the time of my review I have completed Tomb Raider 1 and 2 in their entirety and am about to start on III. So far I am incredibly satisfied with this collection, as it makes my favorite game series instantly playable without having to deal with the nasty ass PS1 load times or the incredible flimsiness of the PC Ports. Unfortunately, for as long as they made me wait for this thing I'm kind of stunned at how bare bones the whole thing really is.
I want to state first and foremost that the use of A.I artwork is deplorable. I understand this game was no doubt made with a woeful budget by an overworked team, so I'm going to direct my anger more towards the publisher for not giving these games the respect they deserve to have a proper art team remastering the visuals. As it stands, the remastered visuals largely clash with the original artistic intent, don't line up properly along the grids, and generally look cheaper than the original's, as the original game was textured by artists and not a piece of shit A.I.
I am also annoyed at the OG visuals having a frame cap on them, allegedly due to animations being locked to 30 for the old visuals. Even though there are PC Ports available right now that have those same visuals at 60 FPS. There is no reason these games should be stuck at 30 FPS, unless the Switch was having too much trouble running these games, which I would believe.
I also lament the loss of save crystals, which I hypothesized could have been a fun difficulty adjuster for long-time fans of the series, as the save crystals made Tomb Raider 1 and 3 very intense games when you can't save scum through them. Tomb Raider 2 is borderline impossible without save scumming so there no change there.
I think the asking price for some fantastic games is worth it, even though I resent the business practices being used within the package. I also don't anticipate all the terrible discussion we are in for about how these games aged by guys who are obsessed with fucking Pokemon or whatever. If you enjoy these types of games there is a nice handy package here to play them, which honestly, is what I've been dying for for years.
I want to state first and foremost that the use of A.I artwork is deplorable. I understand this game was no doubt made with a woeful budget by an overworked team, so I'm going to direct my anger more towards the publisher for not giving these games the respect they deserve to have a proper art team remastering the visuals. As it stands, the remastered visuals largely clash with the original artistic intent, don't line up properly along the grids, and generally look cheaper than the original's, as the original game was textured by artists and not a piece of shit A.I.
I am also annoyed at the OG visuals having a frame cap on them, allegedly due to animations being locked to 30 for the old visuals. Even though there are PC Ports available right now that have those same visuals at 60 FPS. There is no reason these games should be stuck at 30 FPS, unless the Switch was having too much trouble running these games, which I would believe.
I also lament the loss of save crystals, which I hypothesized could have been a fun difficulty adjuster for long-time fans of the series, as the save crystals made Tomb Raider 1 and 3 very intense games when you can't save scum through them. Tomb Raider 2 is borderline impossible without save scumming so there no change there.
I think the asking price for some fantastic games is worth it, even though I resent the business practices being used within the package. I also don't anticipate all the terrible discussion we are in for about how these games aged by guys who are obsessed with fucking Pokemon or whatever. If you enjoy these types of games there is a nice handy package here to play them, which honestly, is what I've been dying for for years.
I was so bad at this and getting owned so swiftly that it was actually starting to affect my mood. I can't win at Yu-Gi-Oh. Can't even get a single win. No matter how hard I try or study or practice my opponent has drawn every card necessary to summon 3 powerful Fuck You monsters to the field in a single turn. I don't understand. The training mode doesn't even come close to preparing me for this kind of Getting Owned.
I work a shitty job, am in enormous debt, I can't afford new tires or a new battery for my car, nothing works out in my favor, and I can't win at Yu-Gi-Oh. I remember when the Cleveland Browns didn't win a single game all year. I wonder how the QB, Deshone Kizer, felt during that stretch. You practice, you study, you do everything possible and yet a single win constantly eludes you. That was on a pretty grand stage, in front of millions. My torment is just in my bedroom while I watch Colorado Rockies baseball, hoping their perpetual losing and inability to play baseball with even the slightest bit of competency will give me perspective on how small my inability to win a Children's Card Game is. But it doesn't. I look at the Colorado Rockies and all I see is a mirror, it's like looking at the devil himself, mocking me for my near-constant bumbling and giving me a microcosm of my various financial woes in the form of a Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon being summoned to the field on the second turn just to own me.
If I were younger and still had dreams and aspirations I would probably suffer through the near constant losing just to get a glimpse at what winning a game of Yu-Gi-Oh might look like, but this shit is actually bumming me out. At least when I watch the Shitty Ass Fucking Worthless Colorado Rockies, we are divided by a screen and I am not Nolan Jones letting an easy fly-ball pop out of my glove. Actually BEING that hapless loser is too much for me to bear.
Still highly recommended as it is NOT League of Legends, though.
I work a shitty job, am in enormous debt, I can't afford new tires or a new battery for my car, nothing works out in my favor, and I can't win at Yu-Gi-Oh. I remember when the Cleveland Browns didn't win a single game all year. I wonder how the QB, Deshone Kizer, felt during that stretch. You practice, you study, you do everything possible and yet a single win constantly eludes you. That was on a pretty grand stage, in front of millions. My torment is just in my bedroom while I watch Colorado Rockies baseball, hoping their perpetual losing and inability to play baseball with even the slightest bit of competency will give me perspective on how small my inability to win a Children's Card Game is. But it doesn't. I look at the Colorado Rockies and all I see is a mirror, it's like looking at the devil himself, mocking me for my near-constant bumbling and giving me a microcosm of my various financial woes in the form of a Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon being summoned to the field on the second turn just to own me.
If I were younger and still had dreams and aspirations I would probably suffer through the near constant losing just to get a glimpse at what winning a game of Yu-Gi-Oh might look like, but this shit is actually bumming me out. At least when I watch the Shitty Ass Fucking Worthless Colorado Rockies, we are divided by a screen and I am not Nolan Jones letting an easy fly-ball pop out of my glove. Actually BEING that hapless loser is too much for me to bear.
Still highly recommended as it is NOT League of Legends, though.
1997
This review contains spoilers
okay review after beating it. It turns out every 13 year old on GameFAQs with a Cloud Strife avatar was completely fucking on the money. This shit rules.
You ever play a game so good you are kicking yourself for not having played it? I for the life of me cannot understand why I avoided FF7 for so long. Out of some bizarre inclination that I just wasn't a fan of JRPGs or from the horrible impression that later depictions of Cloud and friends have given, I just assumed I wouldn't find anything to love in FF7.
Obviously I gave it 5 stars so SOMETHING in my changed.
I really can't stand the "JRPGs SUCK!!" kind of guy that is around right now, so in an effort to NOT be that, I have been playing more JRPGs. It is cool to love a game and be immune to any accusations of nostalgia goggles or whatever. This is the first time I've played through Final Fantasy. The closest I've ever gotten to the series prior was Dirge of Cerberus skipping the cutscenes, 2 hours of Kingdom Hearts, and trying out FF14 for an hour. I was so in the dark of FF7 that when I saw a black haired member of SOLDIER in Cloud's flashback I was genuinely and truly stunned.
Besides the fact that this game has maybe the most famous cutscene in video game history, but I came in with only a basic knowledge of the premise, and damn I was hooked through everything. Even the famous cutscene was emotionally affecting because of how much work was put into everything leading up to it. This is just a killer experience.
I don't think there's enough words I could write to describe how affecting the experiences of this game was. The story, characters, world, themes, it was all unlike anything I've ever experienced.
What surprised me most is how into the combat I ended up getting. I assumed I was going to be playing DESPITE the combat, but fuck me if I didn't have fun experimenting with materia, creating OP combinations, and trying new party formations. I ended up really getting into Cloud/Tifa/Yuffie and Cloud/Vincent/Tifa specifically. I want to try it again but focus more on Red XIII, Cid and Barrett. It's such a fun game to actually play!!
The story is just incredible. I have never been so invested in a game world in such a long time. It felt like I could have spent 30 more hours with Cloud and the gang, it's truly a magical game that I'm so happy I have now experienced. This is a MUST-PLAY video game, and might be one of, if not THE, best game I've ever played.
Few games attempt to hit as many homeruns as FF7 does, and even fewer just keep hitting them.
You ever play a game so good you are kicking yourself for not having played it? I for the life of me cannot understand why I avoided FF7 for so long. Out of some bizarre inclination that I just wasn't a fan of JRPGs or from the horrible impression that later depictions of Cloud and friends have given, I just assumed I wouldn't find anything to love in FF7.
Obviously I gave it 5 stars so SOMETHING in my changed.
I really can't stand the "JRPGs SUCK!!" kind of guy that is around right now, so in an effort to NOT be that, I have been playing more JRPGs. It is cool to love a game and be immune to any accusations of nostalgia goggles or whatever. This is the first time I've played through Final Fantasy. The closest I've ever gotten to the series prior was Dirge of Cerberus skipping the cutscenes, 2 hours of Kingdom Hearts, and trying out FF14 for an hour. I was so in the dark of FF7 that when I saw a black haired member of SOLDIER in Cloud's flashback I was genuinely and truly stunned.
Besides the fact that this game has maybe the most famous cutscene in video game history, but I came in with only a basic knowledge of the premise, and damn I was hooked through everything. Even the famous cutscene was emotionally affecting because of how much work was put into everything leading up to it. This is just a killer experience.
I don't think there's enough words I could write to describe how affecting the experiences of this game was. The story, characters, world, themes, it was all unlike anything I've ever experienced.
What surprised me most is how into the combat I ended up getting. I assumed I was going to be playing DESPITE the combat, but fuck me if I didn't have fun experimenting with materia, creating OP combinations, and trying new party formations. I ended up really getting into Cloud/Tifa/Yuffie and Cloud/Vincent/Tifa specifically. I want to try it again but focus more on Red XIII, Cid and Barrett. It's such a fun game to actually play!!
The story is just incredible. I have never been so invested in a game world in such a long time. It felt like I could have spent 30 more hours with Cloud and the gang, it's truly a magical game that I'm so happy I have now experienced. This is a MUST-PLAY video game, and might be one of, if not THE, best game I've ever played.
Few games attempt to hit as many homeruns as FF7 does, and even fewer just keep hitting them.
2010
My Joker Origin Story: One fateful day in September 2010, holding SIXTY US DOLLARS, for my birthday, I purchased a copy of Metroid: Other M from the local GameStop. I went home and played through this copy of Metroid: Other M that I had paid SIXTY US DOLLARS for, the very same month fucking HALO REACH came out. I played through that entire, rotten, pulsating, twisted evil game and hated it more than I had ever hated a game. I went back to that GameStop and gave them Metroid Other M and my Wii. Why even keep the Wii? What joy had it brought me recently? It was a conduit of pain for all I cared about. If your loved one was killed by the Ring videotape, would you keep the VHS player they placed the tape into?
Anyway, I had this rated 2 based on hazy memories from 12 years ago of a game that was terrible, but nowhere near as repugnant as something like Duke Nukem Forever. But now my eyes are open: this shit sucks. Bad. Samus feels floaty and like she has no heft, the control scheme is stupid as shit, her varia suit looks like total shit, this ugly puke orange thing going on. This game just has nothing for anyone.
Metroid fans want a game with exploration and cool locales, but this is basically a linear romp through a spaceship. Ninja Gaiden fans would want a challenging and meaty action game where you fight exceptional foes, but there is almost nothing here to test your mettle. Story fans would want a good story that's told well, instead of whatever the FUCK is going on here.
Hey btw I paid 60 dollars for this game in 2010. Do you know Nier and Xenoblade Chronicles came out that year too? Golly, I sure would have had fun with Xenoblade Chronicles!
I don't want to assign anything to the developers or writers, I'm SURE they aren't sexist and are doing okay at home. But it's hard to look at this rendition of Samus and not think there was some contempt for women that went into this, it's genuinely shocking how bad Samus comes across in this. It has been said time and time again, but the way the camera lingers on her body makes me go EEK!!
Basically, the way this game portrays Samus is so bad that if it came out today dipshit youtubers would buy it en-masse to Own the Liberals. But it came out in 2010 and hardly anyone bought it and everyone who did hated it because it sucks. Fuck you Other M!
I paid SIXTY DOLLARS FOR THIS!!! RED DEAD REDEMPTION CAME OUT JUST MONTHS EARLIER!!!
Anyway, I had this rated 2 based on hazy memories from 12 years ago of a game that was terrible, but nowhere near as repugnant as something like Duke Nukem Forever. But now my eyes are open: this shit sucks. Bad. Samus feels floaty and like she has no heft, the control scheme is stupid as shit, her varia suit looks like total shit, this ugly puke orange thing going on. This game just has nothing for anyone.
Metroid fans want a game with exploration and cool locales, but this is basically a linear romp through a spaceship. Ninja Gaiden fans would want a challenging and meaty action game where you fight exceptional foes, but there is almost nothing here to test your mettle. Story fans would want a good story that's told well, instead of whatever the FUCK is going on here.
Hey btw I paid 60 dollars for this game in 2010. Do you know Nier and Xenoblade Chronicles came out that year too? Golly, I sure would have had fun with Xenoblade Chronicles!
I don't want to assign anything to the developers or writers, I'm SURE they aren't sexist and are doing okay at home. But it's hard to look at this rendition of Samus and not think there was some contempt for women that went into this, it's genuinely shocking how bad Samus comes across in this. It has been said time and time again, but the way the camera lingers on her body makes me go EEK!!
Basically, the way this game portrays Samus is so bad that if it came out today dipshit youtubers would buy it en-masse to Own the Liberals. But it came out in 2010 and hardly anyone bought it and everyone who did hated it because it sucks. Fuck you Other M!
I paid SIXTY DOLLARS FOR THIS!!! RED DEAD REDEMPTION CAME OUT JUST MONTHS EARLIER!!!
2019
Very strictly a 3 in terms of whack level design, but every time you fire the double barrel shotgun it violently sinewaves to a hard 5 star game.
1999
The closest a game has come to feeling like one of those "haunted game cartridges" except it is haunted by the ghost of Lanky Kong
2008
This won best writing at the GDC Awards if you want to understand how dire video game writing and what's considered good writing has been. Emil Pagliarulo is the enemy of the written word, there is no clumsy piece of dialogue or ham-fisted theme he can't make worse beyond your wildest imagination.
The morality and gameplay have been completely gutted of previous Fallout complexity, and in its place the Bethesda formula has been injected. For what it's worth, it's not a bad formula. Exploration guarantees you finding something weird and interesting. Once you abandon the hope of finding something meaningful and thought-provoking and accept it as a series of vignettes of bizarre stuff it goes down cleaner.
It does abandon the Monty Python jokes of Fallout 2 though, which is a net improvement. Very much a mixed bag.
The morality and gameplay have been completely gutted of previous Fallout complexity, and in its place the Bethesda formula has been injected. For what it's worth, it's not a bad formula. Exploration guarantees you finding something weird and interesting. Once you abandon the hope of finding something meaningful and thought-provoking and accept it as a series of vignettes of bizarre stuff it goes down cleaner.
It does abandon the Monty Python jokes of Fallout 2 though, which is a net improvement. Very much a mixed bag.
1996
So on my Resident Evil tier list I had put this game too low, when honestly, this is such a tightly designed little masterwork of a game I'm kind of stunned how much they got right in one go at things. We need to have a serious discussion if Shinji Mikami is the best game director of all time, as his Resident Evil games are far and away the best composed, his games outside of it are hits, and he is dashingly handsome to boot. What the fuck MORE do we need from the premiere talent in game design.
The final half of this game is pretty vicious though, I never beat it when I was a kid when the hunters were introduced because they were such an intense jump in difficulty, but honestly that's something Mikami is so good at in his RE games is escalation of difficulty and making old areas feel fresh again with new threats. This is such a good fucking game, and while I think the REmake is better, I think both are still worth playing, ESPECIALLY if you have any regard at all for gaming history or the evolution of the medium. The 2 games are about 6 years apart!! That's fucking crazy.
The voice acting though is still shocking, and I hate saying it because there is nothing more grating than a youtube retrospective of Resident Evil 1 getting some easy dunks in on the voice acting, but it genuinely takes you aback when you are playing it. You'll be navigating some really punishing hazards and some of the doofiest dialogue of all time starts playing. I fucking love it.
Also shout-out to the amazing artwork by Bill Sienkiewicz, probably the greatest comic artists alive and ever in my opinion.
The final half of this game is pretty vicious though, I never beat it when I was a kid when the hunters were introduced because they were such an intense jump in difficulty, but honestly that's something Mikami is so good at in his RE games is escalation of difficulty and making old areas feel fresh again with new threats. This is such a good fucking game, and while I think the REmake is better, I think both are still worth playing, ESPECIALLY if you have any regard at all for gaming history or the evolution of the medium. The 2 games are about 6 years apart!! That's fucking crazy.
The voice acting though is still shocking, and I hate saying it because there is nothing more grating than a youtube retrospective of Resident Evil 1 getting some easy dunks in on the voice acting, but it genuinely takes you aback when you are playing it. You'll be navigating some really punishing hazards and some of the doofiest dialogue of all time starts playing. I fucking love it.
Also shout-out to the amazing artwork by Bill Sienkiewicz, probably the greatest comic artists alive and ever in my opinion.