THE BINDING OF ISAAC WARP ZONE: S H A R D S O F I S A A C

This is my Shrek the Third.

Straight and to the point, this is the ONLY, and I mean ONLY time I genuinely do not have anything that is unambiguously positive to say regarding The Binding of Isaac. Rebirth is an INCREDIBLE game. Afterbirth was decent. Repentance is my FAVORITE game of ALL time. Flash was good. The Legend of Bumbo was also good (if unpolished at times). So that leaves ONE release, that flabbergasts the mind at how it costs 10 United States Dollars. That ONE stain on Isaac’s legacy that shan't be forgotten. That ONE DLC that’s more worthless than that 25 Lives bullshit in Sonic Lost World. THAT ONE DLC THAT IS...

Afterbirth+, also referred to as the worst fucking thing in existence by the overarching Isaac community, is easily the worst DLC I have ever played, and I mean that with no hyperbole, or anything of the sorts. It’s that BAD. There's almost NOTHING to be enjoyed here that couldn't be found within the previous, and infinitely more fun predecessors, and I highly recommend that literally skip over to Repentance.

EXHIBIT A: The new items are actually dogshit! There were about 70 new items in this DLC at launch, a poultry amount compared to the likes of Rebirth and Wrath of the Lamb, and almost all are terrible to boot. The most gimmicky, incompatible, Enter The Gungeon-tier bullshit you could ever imagine. The items are far too niche to be useful, and rarely synergize with the hundreds of previous items. Almost all provide little to no benefits to any run, or are just too finicky to be worth a damn. Remember the old-school D-Infinity? You know, the item that gave you a new dice each time you used it? That shit was so ass. Or Adrenaline? Which gives you more damage for each empty heart container? Or Greed’s Gullet? Or Large Zit? Or Brown Nugget? Or Shade? Sure, each DLC had it’s fair share of bad or niche items, but not to this level. And even if you got a bad item, it didn’t matter because they all SYNERGIZED. That’s the ENTIRE FUCKING POINT of The Binding of Isaac, and ensures that most of your runs are GOOD. But when your items border on no synergies, you lose a lit of your run’s overall potential. And the items themselves plainly suck, so what’s the point? Introducing too many bad items into the fray doesn’t make your DLC harder, it makes it more unfun and luck based. But difficulty doesn’t mean anything when your DLC is even EASIER than before! Not only is it as easy as previous releases, the game breaks have only gotten easier. A new item introduced, The Tarot Cloth, is a GAME WINNING item, and it’s pretty common at that. It doubles almost all consumables’ effectiveness. Ever wanted to have infinite money? Bam, Tarot Cloth + 2 of Diamonds, and you’ve broken the game. Or hell, Rune of Jera for the easiest game breaks in the world. Or get IV Bag and Restock for quite LITERALLY infinite money and items. Shit, you might as well remove the roguelike elements of Isaac at this point. And the actual content here? It is some of the most irritating bullshit you’ll ever find in roguelike history. The Void? GREEDIER MODE??? CHALLENGES?!?!?! ALL FUCKING TERRIBLE. I’ll be damned if I could find genuinely anything within the rough here, filled with rehashed and unfun content. I WISH I was joking, this DLC genuinely sucks and is a fundamental misunderstanding of the entire game’s DESIGN. Let's start off from the very top, with THE VOID!

EXHIBIT B: Look guys, it's the ultimate conclusion to Isaac’s story! For the first, erm, second... third... FOURTH, FOURTH TIME GUYS! Aren't you excited? And what's the ultimate final floor? What do you have to get in order to see the true ending of The Binding of Isaac? It's fucking random. Upon each Final boss kill, a small Void portal has a chance to appear. No items needed, nor skill involved. Off to a great start. And then you have the actual floor itself. It's a big, open floor, with 6 bosses each (one of which holds the final boss, Delirium), built off the backs of each individual floor already within the game. How fuuuuuuun… This is so fucking shameless. I'm not even fucking kidding. There's literally NO new enemies on this floor, aside from these weird ass portal things which… spew out other reused enem- 10 UNITED STATES DOLLARS EVERYBODY! It's so fucking LAZY. It just becomes so repetitive, traveling slowly between every floor, likely smiting anything in your path because of how strong you are, doubly more so if you dare to get Curse of the Lost and have no fucking map. And when you eventually, after 9 million years, find the final boss Delirium, you're in for an ass-blasting finale. Now, before I speak, let me just say that conceptually, Delirium is such a fucking cool fight on paper. AND he has a pretty banging design. Representing Isaac’s final dying delusions in a single boss is really interesting. But fuuuuck me if this fight isn’t annoying! Guess what Delirium is? Literally all of the bosses encountered in your past runs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!2!2!2! He transforms into each boss that you've encountered in prior runs, but now with a million bullets and twice as fast. Oh and get telefragged because fun and fair game design. Self admittedly, the boss isn't too bad to fight, in fact, it's kinda fun at points. But the fight itself is so creatively bankrupt and anti-climactic. When I think of the Repentance bosses, they all stick out in my mind because actually cool stuff happens leading up to them. In fact, there's borderline no storyline to this floor either. No rhyme nor reason. A Void just appears. Happens every Tuesday. And the contents within the floor barely correlate to the ending at all. Isaac dies… again? We get to see an argument between his Mom and Dad (not a new plot point but I digress), and then he dies. PLUS CAN'T EVEN INVENT NEW STORY! It's so funnily terrible at everything it does. And then Isaac walks into Purgatory? I was so confused when I got this ending. It’s not something I brought up, but almost every Isaac ending had correlated to the story, even a little bit. Even the one that was least connected to the story, the Hush ending, made sense because Blue Baby (dead Isaac) IS Hush. It’d make sense to show Isaac dead after that, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS! What does some Semen-esque Demon have to do with parents fighting? Sure, the actual floor connects with this, but not the ending! Yeah, I guess Isaac dying would be something that Delirium represents, but where the HELL did the parents’ arguments come into play at all? But in the end, does it matter? Because overall, the Void FUCKING SUCKS. It’s so ludo-narratively dissonant for its own good, and the gameplay is abysmal as the final chapter of The Binding of Isaac. Good music but 2/10. Moving on.

EXHIBIT C: Speaking of Voids, Apollyon, the new character! He starts with The Voi- It's the fucking D6. The Void absorbs items and gives you stats. Literally, in WHAT SCENARIO DO YOU NOT USE THE D6 WHEN YOU USE VOID??? Oh, it can absorb active items??? Okay??? Oh, no, that's some QUALITY 5 shit right there. Apollyon sucks and he is lame good character design tho 3/10.

EXHIBIT D: Greedier Mode. Need I say more? 0/10

Okay, but for real this time. Greedier Mode is commonly cited as one of the worst elements to Isaac as a whole. And this time, I actually agree. Hell, I even LIKED Greed Mode in the original. So what's so bad about Greedier?

First off, you have to donate 500 coins just to UNLOCK IT. That’s a big issue when it comes to game progression, as you won’t be able to even play Greedier even if you wanted to. Isaac has already let you play Hard Mode from the start, so I can’t see why Greedier had to be different here. Second of all, the mode itself fucking SUCKS. You get a poultry amount of money, barely enough to even SURVIVE, one extra wave spawns, and the timer is so sped up, oh my god, make it end please. Basic enemies also can be champions with no rewards for killing them. But hey, at least the Jam chance for the Donation Machine is decreased!!!! God. I am tired. And now the final boss has a second phase that lasts all of 2 seconds? Cool???

Exhibit E: Challenges. THIS is my breaking point. You might’ve thought Greedier was, or Delirium? No. The challenges in Rebirth and Afterbirth were fine, if a little short, and perhaps too easy. THE CHALLENGES IN AFTERBIRTH PLUS. They’re all TERRIBLE. EVERY SINGLE ONE HAS GIVEN ME FUCKING EPILEPSY. Pokey Mans and Pong are the only moderately okay ones, but the final 3 made me lose all hope for this game. April’s Fool: Everything has the wrong sprite and everything is the Bloat. We’re so funny, guys! It’s not like Spelunky, Nuclear Throne, and almost any roguelike is cooking us up on the market right now! Backasswards: Clear the game with 8-10 randomized items and do it backwards. Fun game de- LITERALLY JUST HOLD R UNTIL YOU GET A BROKEN ITEM COMBO!!! But, believe me folks. None of these compare to the worst challenge in the history of The Binding of Isaac. Do you wish to know the name? Well, here it is (barring the curse word).

ULTRA MOTHERFUCKING HARD. OH MY GOD. I have no idea what the entire developer team was on when creating this fucking challenge (or DLC in general!), but this is straight up poppycock. ALL CURSES ARE ENABLED, NO HEARTS SPAWN, AND EVERYTHING IS A CHAMPION!!! Do I even need to explain why this sucks? And guess what you get for completing ultimately one of the worst challenges in the game? A starting trinket. Uno. For Samson, which is a character you’ve probably 100%ed at this point. A SINGULAR FUCKING TRINKET. Not a cool ass item or anything for all of your troubles, like almost EVERY SINGLE ISAAC RELEASE HAS DONE AT THIS POINT, BUT NO! ONE FUCKING TRINKEY THAT SUCKS SHIT ANYWAYS. Hooray, I REALLY feel accomplished! This is a game that’s priced at $10, by the way? Could’ve fooled me!

At this point, what else is there to talk about? Victory Laps; runs that don’t even give you achievements during them? Or 100%, as unfun as the main game? Oh, guys, you gotta do everything with every character all over again. AND, as an additional fuck you, do 31 DAILY RUNS IN A FUCKING ROW. I AM NOT JOKING, AT LAUNCH, YOU HAD TO DO 31 FUCKING DAILY RUNS FOR A SINGULAR PILL. FUCK YOU! But yeah. Afterbirth Plus 100% SUCKS.

Before I close out this review, I wanted to mention the mod support, and zeusdeegoose policy. All products I review are reviewed as-is; mods are irrelevant to this discussion overall. Because if I did, basically every product I’ve review would be at least worth a 6/10; maybe higher. So that’s why I’ve neglected to mention it. But I will note that, while the mods for Afterbirth+ are cool, barring the numerous NSFW mods that have caused irreparable damage to the community (god, I hate you all), the mod scene for Afterbirth+ was limited by an incredibly shitty API. Not even Afterbirth+ could get mod support right, one of the main draws for the DLC in the FIRST PLACE! Later on, Repentance would release with these issues intact unfortunately, and modders had to REVERSE ENGINEER the entire game just to get an actually USEABLE API. What a shitshow, man...


Afterbirth+ is one of the worst expansions ever released, and I wholeheartedly stand by that. It’s unfun, recycled, unexciting content with absolutely nothing in it’s favor. Ultimately one of the worst releases I’ve seen, get it away from me, goodnight.

Or... was it? Well, announced before the release that the game would receive Booster Packs, small additions of content made by the community. What are my thoughts on these? Just as, if not more terrible than the base game. It’s just more items, and while some of these are pretty good, like Tech Zero, Mystery Gift, among others, the base game is still just as bad as before. Sure, The Forgotten is... cool, but other than that, there’s nothing. Delirium still sucks, Greedier Mode is still unfun bullshit, and overall, there’s still a major lack of content. But hey, at least they fixed the Dedication bullshit. God, what a joke. I have nothing else to add; Plus sucks, play Rebirth, Afterbirth, Antibirth, literally any other Isaac expansion instead instead, goodnight sweet prince, I’m out.

“The void inside cries / Consuming dissatisfied / Eating all alive ” - “Afterbirth Plus” by zeusdeegoose, Written on 4/22/24

A long time ago, I went ahead and played a little cute-’em-up from Konami called TwinBee, and I remember really enjoying it at the time. The game was a very basic shmup as a whole, giving a bit of a unique twist on how one goes about getting power ups and providing plenty of strange, yet enjoyable enemies to shoot down, but there wasn’t that much more to offer aside from that. Despite this, it was enough to keep me entertained back then as someone who didn’t play that many shmups, but now, it has been almost a year since I have played and reviewed that original game, and something has happened in that timespan…. I have become a shmup fanatic. I have played and reviewed many other games in the genre, and while I haven’t even scratched the surface of what the genre has offered, it is quite clear that I have more experience with them, as well as what makes a great one or a mediocre one. So, now that I have all this “experience” under my belt, I figured it was about time I returned to this series by checking out its second installment, Stinger.

I had actually been wanting to check out this game for a long time, as well as getting back to reviewing TwinBee games as a whole, but I had always put it on the backburner for quite a while. Not really sure why I did this, as I remembered having pretty good memories with the first game, and I figured I would come to enjoy the others, but I dunno, after playing games like Aero Fighters and Thunder Force IV, how exactly do you go back to something like this? Well, I figured I would find that answer out myself, playing through the game finally, and from that experience, I can certainly say that it is, indeed, another TwinBee game. It’s a good time, giving you plenty of what you loved in the original TwinBee while slightly expanding on it, but it definitely isn’t doing anything too crazy or incredible that we haven’t already seen before.

The story is fairly simple to follow and interpret, where one day at Konami HQ, aliens come out of nowhere and suddenly start to destroy the entire place, coming down and kidnapping Dr. Wily before fleeing off towards an unknown location, so it is up to TwinBee, along with his pals WinBee and GwinBee, to set out on a mission to rescue him so that he can save Konami………………… I couldn’t find the official story online, so I had to go with what was shown in the opening cutscene, and, uh, ha ha, CLEARLY it is 100% accurate, and it is the best story of all time. But anyway, the graphics are good, looking pretty much identical to that of the NES port of the original TwinBee, but it is still colorful enough with plenty of goofy enemy designs to where I don’t mind it, the music is also good, but it isn’t anything noteworthy to where I can tell you anything about any of the tracks, as it left my mind pretty quickly, and the gameplay/control is also pretty identical to that of the original game, expanded upon enough to where it does feel like a proper step-up from that original game, but nothing more.

The game is your typical NES cute-’em-up, where you take control of one of the Bees that I mentioned earlier, go through a set of seven different levels through plenty of different environments from the pyramids to the grassy plains and to the far reaches of space, shoot down whatever weird creatures come your way using either your main shots or your unlimited supply of bombs, gather plenty of different power ups from the many bells you can find that can either increase your speed or firepower, and take on plenty of bosses that are also just as weird and out-there as the enemies, but are also pretty easy if you have the right tools equipped for the job. Anyone who played the original TwinBee knows pretty much exactly what to expect from this game, and it does manage to offer several new features for the player to take on and mess around with, but it doesn’t really make the game any more fun or exciting than what had come previously.

When it comes to what has changed from the previous game, this time around, they decided to pull a Life Force and give us not only the top-down levels from the last game, but we also now have horizontally scrolling stages as well, with there not being too much difference between the two other then that one of them has you shooting and throwing bombs down at the same time, which can be helpful in some situations. These levels are pretty fun to play, but they are pretty few and far between compared to the main levels, which does kinda suck, but eh, what can ya do. Not only that, but we have new power ups to mess around with, such as a laser, which, if you know me, is something that I immediately gravitated towards and never let go of for even a fraction of a second, and as I mentioned before, we have boss fights! These aren’t anything too special, especially if you have the glorious LASER, but they can be fun to take down, and have just as goofy and ridiculous designs as the enemies in the game. Although, not gonna lie, I didn’t need the seizure that the game keeps wanting to give me before each fight, you can take that back home with you.

Other than all that though, what you see is what you get with this game, as it doesn’t do much of anything else to excite or entrance the player. It makes sense, given that this is a shooter from the 80s, but if you weren’t a fan of the original game, then you most likely aren’t gonna be a fan of this one either, because it sticks way too closely to its roots to be anything more grand or exciting. Kind of seems to be a running theme with Konami shmup sequels, since I have played so many Gradius games at this point. But hey, if you don’t mind a little simplicity here and there, then by all means, go for it, and if you have two friends nearby that have nothing better to do, have them join the game as well for some good ol’ fashioned fun.

Overall, despite the lack of any major change, Stinger is still a good shmup at the end of the day, and a natural evolution for the TwinBee series as a whole, adding just enough to where it does feel like an upgrade to the previous game, while still keeping the main gameplay and charm of the original intact. I would recommend it for those who were fans of the original TwinBee, as well as those who are fans of shmups in general, but for everyone else, there are definitely plenty of better options out there that you could choose from instead. But either way, I am just glad to finally get this game out of the way, and now that I am back, I guess I will have to check out the rest of the games at some point in the future. It’ll go right alongside Gradius as the series that I will never shut the fuck up about, despite having covered over a dozen games from it at this point… I think.

Game #571