Bought it.

Tedious narrative driven wank. What little combat I've experienced is run of the mill. Questionable button mapping also- throwing a grenade is up button. (I thought it was telling me to use the X button, at first. But that would make sense.) That said, the voicework is great and I like the atmosphere. That's definitely something.

The entire demo is you getting apples.

I like this after mapping left/right punch to ZL/ZR, but I unno if it's is worth the price point. I wonder if I've basically experienced the entire game from just the demo.

hmm.. puzzley

The game uses like 15 buttons but no tutorials. I theoretically could've paused/unpaused a million times and poured over the button mappings until I figured it out, but this is "Inti Creates bootleg Mega Man with cringe anime VA #2058594" so I barely give a shit.

Eighty ways to jump. Five second delay to switch costume.

wha?

presses jump
accidentally dismisses tutorial that showed up in that very moment
this happens multiple times

"And then, out of nowhere, tonal dissonance by a completely unnecessary, on again off again narrator"

Thanks. I hate it.

Man did they make it the most bland tutorial possible. It's basically just training stages. Judging by the trailer the full game is somewhat plagued by this, but not to the same extent as the demo. So potentially the full game is decent, but unfortunately I am not likely to ever buy it.

"Let's make Armored Core but anime-ified and not good."

Wasn't expecting this, it's straight up an RTS like Command & Conquer 3 on the Xbox 360. Unfortunately it's much lower quality.

Seeing as you can buy any missing crafting item you need the very moment you're crafting, then they might as well have replaced all crafting items throughout the game with money drops, and all crafting requirements might as well be replaced with money. Checkmate.

"But first, let us regail you in great depth our convoluted battle system."

WHAT THE?? How did this even get made?? At this point why not just disband Square Enix entirely and replace it with a lobster.

Garish character designs. Framerate. Gameplay. Warriors.

Cringey furry romhack in which you can definitely not see where the heck you're going or react in time in any meaningful capacity.

I like the voicework.

I like the character I made in this. But I would never get it, because it makes you wait 30 seconds.

It's painfully obvious the game is so not optimized for handheld mode to the point where it genuinely feels like I'm playing via Remote Play rather than the game running natively. This seems to be a systemwide issue with the Switch in general. I'm almost surprised there hasn't been a lawsuit over it like there was with the Wii U's off-TV play.

What was Nintendo thinking? Has there ever been a great Warriors game? Because this doesn't seem to be it.

Every single person involved in this needs to take a design course.

You can literally get stuck on the wall in the very first area, forcing a restart. I did this twice in two different places.

The cyberpunk theme isn't really working for me, clunky and lacks charm. Also random encounters. That's really all that needed to be said..

Movement is incredibly unintuitive. Also does that thing Dissidia does where you're punished for taking extraneous turns, yet you can't get certain items unless you do thereby forcing multiple runs of each level. Also eye squinty tinyfont.

You can't play for two seconds (literally) without being hit with yet another spontaneous tutorial dialogue. I didn't even play the game long enough to find out when (or even if) they actually stop. Not that it matters since Klonoa is ass.

Putting aside the abysmal voiced dialogue (completely in rhyme.. what is this, Child of Light?) the gameplay seems actually tolerable. But it's still nothing extraordinary.

Didn't even finish. I got fed up after running off the edge of a tiny platform for the hundredth time.

God damn it, this seriously needed to come with a trigger warning. Also, the 39.99 price point is HILARIOUS. It's probably what the game cost to make. I guess all the development money went toward licensing the soundtrack.

This game has the same problem as other Mario sports games- after wading through all the tutorials there's no reason to continue playing since you've already explored all of the gameplay concepts on offer.

No tutorials or button mappings. How to jump? If you dig through the menus, it tells you how to shoot, but that isn't of much help since you're still stuck in the first room.

Monopoly as a party video game w real time gameplay. Hard to keep track of what's going on.

"Wait 50 seconds, slave."

Bought it.

Stare at stamina meters at the bottom of the screen.

Stop looking at me!

Random battle garbage.

Random battle garbage.. in 2023!! I shit you not. Lately I find that these games don't even do random battles well. Like what just happened. Was there a visible enemy I haphazardly ran into without noticing? Did I reach a checkpoint that triggered a prefixed battle event? Who knows!

Top down perspective button masher. Imagine someone actually buying this.

The menus are weird, there's a cursor you have to move around with the analog, as though the game was haphazardly ported from mobile. So I was surprised that not only is this not ported from mobile but a mobile version apparently doesn't even exist.

The very first puzzles in the game are 10x10s and 10x15s. (thatescalatedquickly.jpg) This made me realize how much I suck at Picross. xD

"These little guys are cute. Let's make a game where you, uhh.. throw them? I unno, lol." -Miyamoto probably.
"Also when it becomes night in the game the player has to stop playing so they can brush their teeth and get ready for bed. And just in case they're still not sleepy let's make 'em slog through a crapton of text. Make 'em reeeeeaad!"

oh what the hell

Dat catching system. Also the lack of wild battles. Also the controls. Also framerate.

Hodgepodge of "fighting game like elements" like assist characters that you can't even play as, and two different gameplay styles because they couldn't decide, and makes the game take longer to learn, which they must have thought is a good quality for a fighting game.

The whole two style system is in itself so profoundly broken. Why would you do that, even. It's like the game was created by machine learning after analyzing a bunch of other fighting games (because it was decided there should be one during a boardroom meeting somewhere) rather than by human beings with a coherent vision for a Pokemon brawler that they wanted to make.

seems fine on paper, just not my cup of tea. Screen scrolls by itself which by itself is oppressive, it also scrolls at variable rate depending on whatever the hamster is doing which is further jarring.

Wank, albeit Indian themed.

How do I play. What is happening.

no tutorials, no way to see button mappings

1) No english dubs. 2) No framerate. 3) It's a game in the Warriors series.

I care 0/10 about the story or puzzles. So all that's left with battles which are 'eh' at best and utilize Mario-RPG inspired QTE gimmicks.

Bought it.

Unplayable. It's so painfully not optimized for Switch let alone handheld mode.

Choice Anxiety Simulator 2020

no

Boob lady was not enough to save this.