DannyDinkledick
2005
Part of what makes RE4 a great Shooter is that its simultaneously a great Brawler. Sure, you can just go through the game just shooting almost everything as the game gives you ample ammo, but if you want to save up plenty to blow your load at a later, more difficult section, then you're welcome to try implementing your knife into your toolkit beyond Okizeme, and you will soon realize just how well crafted the melee combat in this game is:
RE4 places major emphasis on spacing, not just in having to pay attention to your surroundings to avoid nasty backshots or accidentally cornering yourself, but in maneuvering through enemy attacks. Most enemy attacks can be shut down by just walking backwards, leaving you an opening to take the offensive. If you decide to use the knife, you have a solid chance of staggering your enemy, but there's also a chance that they'll armor right through your swings. This ends up creating a fun risk-reward playstyle with the knife depending on your preference. Keep swinging to get the stagger, and you may get hurt in the process, or back away and play it slowly and safely, giving the rest of the horde more time to gang up on you. What incentivizes you to go in more than anything, however, is your ridiculously massive and invincible roundhouse kick. Pulling this off is your entire win condition. You are inherently making yourself safe using this move, and you get rewarded with getting every enemy knocked down, allowing you to clap all of their asses at once. And when that's all done, you're probably thrown directly onto the danger zone again as more zombies approached you while your dumbass was indulging in that short term victory.
What makes Resident Evil 4 refreshing to play is that its a game where being risky isn't defined as just being up in your enemy's face. Any action you take, whether it be pulling out your knife, firing a gun, or reloading, can carry an inherent risk, both for your livelihood and your resources. Its a game that will bleed you dry into desperation and also make you feel like an absolute god, all in the same encounter. Its only a matter of time before I turn to the church of God Hand thanks to this game.
RE4 places major emphasis on spacing, not just in having to pay attention to your surroundings to avoid nasty backshots or accidentally cornering yourself, but in maneuvering through enemy attacks. Most enemy attacks can be shut down by just walking backwards, leaving you an opening to take the offensive. If you decide to use the knife, you have a solid chance of staggering your enemy, but there's also a chance that they'll armor right through your swings. This ends up creating a fun risk-reward playstyle with the knife depending on your preference. Keep swinging to get the stagger, and you may get hurt in the process, or back away and play it slowly and safely, giving the rest of the horde more time to gang up on you. What incentivizes you to go in more than anything, however, is your ridiculously massive and invincible roundhouse kick. Pulling this off is your entire win condition. You are inherently making yourself safe using this move, and you get rewarded with getting every enemy knocked down, allowing you to clap all of their asses at once. And when that's all done, you're probably thrown directly onto the danger zone again as more zombies approached you while your dumbass was indulging in that short term victory.
What makes Resident Evil 4 refreshing to play is that its a game where being risky isn't defined as just being up in your enemy's face. Any action you take, whether it be pulling out your knife, firing a gun, or reloading, can carry an inherent risk, both for your livelihood and your resources. Its a game that will bleed you dry into desperation and also make you feel like an absolute god, all in the same encounter. Its only a matter of time before I turn to the church of God Hand thanks to this game.
2001
Its common that whenever a long lasting game series changes its direction drastically for a new title, you are bound to hear "Its a good game, but its a bad [insert franchise] game". You know the drill: games like Breath of The Wild, Resident Evil 4, Final Fantasy 16, you name it. You'd think that the Devil May Cry equivalent of this would be the reboot, and while there is a degree of truth to that, I'd say you could ironically say this about the game that started it all in the first place. If you expect Devil May Cry 1 to play like 3, 4, and 5 (the most popular ones and what people think of when Devil May Cry comes up), you will be severely underwhelmed. Not only is the camera here notably worse than future titles with how it doesn't even allow you to manipulate it to your advantage, not only is Dante and the rest of the story much less interesting or wacky here, but even the series' trademark Stylish Combatβ’ is barely present here, with a style gauge that doesn't seem to mind you spamming enemies with the same moves, and yet is oddly very strict about how long you can go without attacking.
But the magic in Devil May Cry to me lies in its classic and brutal videogame-y feel. Its unapologetically dumb and cheesy in its cutscenes yet simultaneously is twisted in its visual design, like its origins as a Resident Evil game naturally molded it into. The environments here are so memorable compared to the later entries, which can look pretty at times, but overall just blend into a grey mush. Its background music in particular it what sells the setting to me, making you feel as if you're descending into insanity the closer you get to hell, only to be contrasted by a mix of techno and metal once battle begins. Its a game that I see as extremely artistic: not due to some bullshit about the game being "prestigious" or that it should be in a museum because of how beautiful it is; it rather comes from how experimental and unique it is. Even as someone who grew up way past the PS2 or Devil May Cry, there is a weird nostalgic feeling in its presentation that I can't explain.
In classic arcade fashion, the game also manages to still push you despite how seemingly simple the game is. Enemies demand your respect, as one mistake can lead to a big chunk of your health bar being gone. You are not only expected to actually study enemies rather than to just wait for a signal telling you to roll or parry to appear, but more than ever, it is crucial for you to lock in and make sure you get hit as little as possible. I love that Devil May Cry has probably the most well balanced guns in the series to complement this. I get why they were nerfed after the direct-to-video Disney sequel to this game, but guns later on just become a combo tool and aren't really that viable for actual combat encounters. Here, they are a cool alternative if you want to play safe that work perfectly fine. You aren't getting insane damage and you might sacrifice some red orbs, but the game is also heavily based around a meta of building DT. The slow methodical playstyle that this game allows is surprisingly fun and intense.
I think where the game really shines is in its DMD difficulty. Here the game asks you to sit the hell down and actually learn what the hell you're even looking at. Once you get past Normal and Hard mode, you have a solid understanding of how enemies work to the point where its relatively easy, by the time you reach hard, but here? Get used to hearing sirens when you enter a room as shadows will frequently show up to test your patience, and its also time to put away that air raid spam, because the bosses do not fuck around. A single tiny fart will wipe a third of your health bar. You have to discover a way to efficiently damage them and to counter their nifty tricks. I'll admit that I'm a hack, and a lot of the tactics I used on normal enemies came from watching speedruns or Matthewmatosis' commentary. But against bosses, I didn't have that much of a grasp on what to do. It came from discovering certain gimmicks on my own, like shooting Nelo Angelo out of the air with meteor to stop the blades, or jumping with Ifrit to easily parry Nightmare's stabs. Bosses that I didn't enjoy at first, like Nightmare or that fucking bird that I hate, ended up being pretty fun outside of the occasionally shitty camera. The peak of this was with Nelo Angelo 3, where I died over 50 times to this fucker. He was one of THOSE bosses, the one where you die so much that you virtually stop verbally whining like a little bitch. Its only a shame that the same can not be said about the game's final boss. If a poorly implemented Space Harrier homage wasn't crappy enough, then be prepared for an awful 2nd phase, where you're at the mercy of RNG to get good patterns and also auto lock to shoot the tiny orbs you actually want to shoot. Fuck Mundus.
While Devil May Cry has plenty of aspects you can criticize about it, I think that the game deserves more credit than to be thought of as the equivalent of Street Fighter 1. It still dogs on most attempts to make a "cool" action game nowadays, expecting the player to be able to overcome challenged, to experiment and learn with their own resources rather than to feed them answers and victories. This all just sounds standard nowadays, and its undeniable that we're far past from this PS2 classic being the absolute peak of depth or adrenaline in combat. But tell me, how common is an entire foundation done in so much style and grace?
EDIT: Right after writing this, I went and beat Mundus. I used literally every item I had, but I'll gladly take the D and move on from him
But the magic in Devil May Cry to me lies in its classic and brutal videogame-y feel. Its unapologetically dumb and cheesy in its cutscenes yet simultaneously is twisted in its visual design, like its origins as a Resident Evil game naturally molded it into. The environments here are so memorable compared to the later entries, which can look pretty at times, but overall just blend into a grey mush. Its background music in particular it what sells the setting to me, making you feel as if you're descending into insanity the closer you get to hell, only to be contrasted by a mix of techno and metal once battle begins. Its a game that I see as extremely artistic: not due to some bullshit about the game being "prestigious" or that it should be in a museum because of how beautiful it is; it rather comes from how experimental and unique it is. Even as someone who grew up way past the PS2 or Devil May Cry, there is a weird nostalgic feeling in its presentation that I can't explain.
In classic arcade fashion, the game also manages to still push you despite how seemingly simple the game is. Enemies demand your respect, as one mistake can lead to a big chunk of your health bar being gone. You are not only expected to actually study enemies rather than to just wait for a signal telling you to roll or parry to appear, but more than ever, it is crucial for you to lock in and make sure you get hit as little as possible. I love that Devil May Cry has probably the most well balanced guns in the series to complement this. I get why they were nerfed after the direct-to-video Disney sequel to this game, but guns later on just become a combo tool and aren't really that viable for actual combat encounters. Here, they are a cool alternative if you want to play safe that work perfectly fine. You aren't getting insane damage and you might sacrifice some red orbs, but the game is also heavily based around a meta of building DT. The slow methodical playstyle that this game allows is surprisingly fun and intense.
I think where the game really shines is in its DMD difficulty. Here the game asks you to sit the hell down and actually learn what the hell you're even looking at. Once you get past Normal and Hard mode, you have a solid understanding of how enemies work to the point where its relatively easy, by the time you reach hard, but here? Get used to hearing sirens when you enter a room as shadows will frequently show up to test your patience, and its also time to put away that air raid spam, because the bosses do not fuck around. A single tiny fart will wipe a third of your health bar. You have to discover a way to efficiently damage them and to counter their nifty tricks. I'll admit that I'm a hack, and a lot of the tactics I used on normal enemies came from watching speedruns or Matthewmatosis' commentary. But against bosses, I didn't have that much of a grasp on what to do. It came from discovering certain gimmicks on my own, like shooting Nelo Angelo out of the air with meteor to stop the blades, or jumping with Ifrit to easily parry Nightmare's stabs. Bosses that I didn't enjoy at first, like Nightmare or that fucking bird that I hate, ended up being pretty fun outside of the occasionally shitty camera. The peak of this was with Nelo Angelo 3, where I died over 50 times to this fucker. He was one of THOSE bosses, the one where you die so much that you virtually stop verbally whining like a little bitch. Its only a shame that the same can not be said about the game's final boss. If a poorly implemented Space Harrier homage wasn't crappy enough, then be prepared for an awful 2nd phase, where you're at the mercy of RNG to get good patterns and also auto lock to shoot the tiny orbs you actually want to shoot. Fuck Mundus.
While Devil May Cry has plenty of aspects you can criticize about it, I think that the game deserves more credit than to be thought of as the equivalent of Street Fighter 1. It still dogs on most attempts to make a "cool" action game nowadays, expecting the player to be able to overcome challenged, to experiment and learn with their own resources rather than to feed them answers and victories. This all just sounds standard nowadays, and its undeniable that we're far past from this PS2 classic being the absolute peak of depth or adrenaline in combat. But tell me, how common is an entire foundation done in so much style and grace?
EDIT: Right after writing this, I went and beat Mundus. I used literally every item I had, but I'll gladly take the D and move on from him
2022
Elden Ring Apology Form
To: Hidetaka Myazaki
Reasons for behavior:
β The annoying fanboys convinced me it was overhyped
β I only played the game using shitty builds and spirit summons
β I was jealous of Hidetaka Miyazaki
π I didn't play the actual game
π I don't know Soulsborne
π Mercury was in retrograde
β I will hereby respect Elden Ring and I will NOT talk down on the future first-ballot Hall of Famer
To: Hidetaka Myazaki
Reasons for behavior:
β The annoying fanboys convinced me it was overhyped
β I only played the game using shitty builds and spirit summons
β I was jealous of Hidetaka Miyazaki
π I didn't play the actual game
π I don't know Soulsborne
π Mercury was in retrograde
β I will hereby respect Elden Ring and I will NOT talk down on the future first-ballot Hall of Famer
2019
Persona 5 is what would happen if Drake was manifested into a videogame. Persona 5 is the type of game where a main character would confront a main villain and say "this isn't like you." Persona 5 is the type of game where a character slaps his friend and says "that's for almost almost getting us killed!" Persona 5 is the type of game where the characters are looking at the news and say "you might wanna check this out". Persona 5 is the type of game that has really weird and gross behavior with hot 16 year olds. Persona 5 is the type of game to have the main characters split up at the end of the second act only to rejoin at the final fight with the main villain and say "you didn't really think we'd let you die, did you?" Persona 5 is the type of game to have an animated dance party sequence at the ending. It would do all of that without a hint of irony and believing itself to not be unintentionally hilarious.
2018
Inside of you are two wolves
+One of them enjoys a game at face value and tries to find things to appreciate about a product
-The other is a wanna-be critic who thinks he's smart for knowing what ludonarrative dissonance means, while also being a massive hater just because liking less things makes you seem more professional
I can't deny that I enjoyed this game. A lot of the things I'm about to pick on are pretty minor in theory, but they make up something about this game that I kind of hate
+A story that in all honesty is pretty compelling and entertaining. Its not the deepest thing you'll ever see, but I'd be lying if I said that I never felt anything in my playtime
+Has incredible acting performances and every important cutscene has the characters moving dynamically adding even more of a "real" feeling to these characters
+Why is this game actually pretty funny, I thought this would be filled with millenial-esque Josh Whedon humor
+Beautiful Art Direction
+Holy shit the fight cutscenes are so wacky I love them
-At the same time, this is one of the most obvious cases of videogame oscar bait I've seen (Can videogame writers please develop a new original idea beyond Dad-Son videogames)
-A rushed and tacked on conflict between Kratos and Boy near the 3rd act like this is some mid 2000s animated kids movie
+Combat is actually pretty satisfying. Every hit feels so crunchy and the animations are brutal
+Give me a Challenge difficulty felt pretty good for the most part
+Its no DMC, but I think that there's enough tools at your disposal to be able to pull off some pretty cool shit if you want to
-Obnoxious lite-RPG mechanics and a convoluted upgrade system
-The game wants to be the Last of Us so bad that it even uses an over the shoulder camera that does not work for a game like this
-A dodge roll that gives so many i-frames and costs no resources so that you can mash dodge and get away with it 99% of the time
-Every boss in the main game is extremely gimmicky and forgettable
- Every boss in the main game is extremely gimmicky and forgettable (Yes I know I wrote this statement twice, much like how the game also loves to reuse its bosses)
-Spartan rage is one of the lamest installs (in game, not in cutscenes)
-Weapon specific enemies
-Like a third of the game is going through boring walking segments where nothing goes on for the sake of "le cinematic feeling"
-Hold forward and occasionally press B to climb. We're going to make sure that you'll do this every 3 seconds
-My entire perspective of this game changed even more once I learned that they designed the game with people like DSP in mind
God of War to me is far from hollow corporate slop. There was clearly a lot of passion from individual devs and writers to make this game and there is a somewhat compotent vision that I respect. At the same time, its so obscured by the way that it tries to homogenize itself into the grey blob of AAA action games. Who knows, maybe when Ragnarok comes to PC, I might play it and see things differently. But for now, I think I'll forget I ever played this game and possibly forget I even wrote this review as well.
+One of them enjoys a game at face value and tries to find things to appreciate about a product
-The other is a wanna-be critic who thinks he's smart for knowing what ludonarrative dissonance means, while also being a massive hater just because liking less things makes you seem more professional
I can't deny that I enjoyed this game. A lot of the things I'm about to pick on are pretty minor in theory, but they make up something about this game that I kind of hate
+A story that in all honesty is pretty compelling and entertaining. Its not the deepest thing you'll ever see, but I'd be lying if I said that I never felt anything in my playtime
+Has incredible acting performances and every important cutscene has the characters moving dynamically adding even more of a "real" feeling to these characters
+Why is this game actually pretty funny, I thought this would be filled with millenial-esque Josh Whedon humor
+Beautiful Art Direction
+Holy shit the fight cutscenes are so wacky I love them
-At the same time, this is one of the most obvious cases of videogame oscar bait I've seen (Can videogame writers please develop a new original idea beyond Dad-Son videogames)
-A rushed and tacked on conflict between Kratos and Boy near the 3rd act like this is some mid 2000s animated kids movie
+Combat is actually pretty satisfying. Every hit feels so crunchy and the animations are brutal
+Give me a Challenge difficulty felt pretty good for the most part
+Its no DMC, but I think that there's enough tools at your disposal to be able to pull off some pretty cool shit if you want to
-Obnoxious lite-RPG mechanics and a convoluted upgrade system
-The game wants to be the Last of Us so bad that it even uses an over the shoulder camera that does not work for a game like this
-A dodge roll that gives so many i-frames and costs no resources so that you can mash dodge and get away with it 99% of the time
-Every boss in the main game is extremely gimmicky and forgettable
- Every boss in the main game is extremely gimmicky and forgettable (Yes I know I wrote this statement twice, much like how the game also loves to reuse its bosses)
-Spartan rage is one of the lamest installs (in game, not in cutscenes)
-Weapon specific enemies
-Like a third of the game is going through boring walking segments where nothing goes on for the sake of "le cinematic feeling"
-Hold forward and occasionally press B to climb. We're going to make sure that you'll do this every 3 seconds
-My entire perspective of this game changed even more once I learned that they designed the game with people like DSP in mind
God of War to me is far from hollow corporate slop. There was clearly a lot of passion from individual devs and writers to make this game and there is a somewhat compotent vision that I respect. At the same time, its so obscured by the way that it tries to homogenize itself into the grey blob of AAA action games. Who knows, maybe when Ragnarok comes to PC, I might play it and see things differently. But for now, I think I'll forget I ever played this game and possibly forget I even wrote this review as well.
2001
I got a twelve pack of that gorilla. That shit you can only find walking along the hashish transport paths in Azerbaijan. I'm smoking on Butanese garden grown dark evil pack. They watered this with the blood of 36 dragons.
2010
After putting multiple long ass RPGs on my backlog, I felt that there was no better way to start than by ignoring them all and instead replaying New Vegas again. I thought it was pretty great the first time around, but there was something magical missing. I couldn't pinpoint what exactly, but replaying it again, I realize that this game does have some pretty monotonous shit.
This game is a prime example of why graphics actually DO matter in videogames. I don't mean this in the sense that every game needs to do the Rockstar approach where you put hundreds of artists in a meat grinder and force them to program horse testicles and horse shitting animations. What I mean is that a game does need to look visually engaging. New Vegas doesn't just look worse than some games that came out a generation prior to it, it also just looks so god damn dull. I get that this is a post-apocalyptic shit hole, but my god, every thing just blends into this forgettable and disgusting mush that you look at for dozens of hours.
But you know what's even more boring than ugly mutated colors that give a very poor sense of atmosphere? The traversal. I'm not asking for the game to give me a whole ass car to ride around in (which would probably be worse narrative wise), I just want something more interesting than walking very slowly across a massive map. Give me a sprint, or some mutated horse to ride around in, literally anything please.
And of course, because this technically a Bethesda game, you are gonna need some tough ass luck running this on PC without mods. When I first played the game, I couldn't even do the DLC because it would always crash, and I couldn't install any mods since I was using Gamepass. But even after getting the game on Steam and following a guide to fix a lot of bugs, I ended up encountering EVEN MORE BUGS. Now doors will randomly not work properly some times and will literally not let me through even if I open them. I've also encountered several occasions where bodies will ragdoll like its Gary's Mod, but at least this one is kinda funny when it happens.
That's pretty much all of my negatives, because I actually enjoyed the game even more this time. What makes the story of this game so compelling isn't just that its a really cool piece of speculative fiction, but rather that the game plops you down into the world and lets you pick up the pieces and solve issues in your own way. Its not trying to dictate morality itself and make sure you understand like a good boy. Rather, it uses game design to let the player choose for themselves, and it dares to challenge the morals of the player. There is no good ending in Fallout, nor a bad ending or a true ending. The ending is just that, the results of your action. Its shocking how a game is able to make even a blatantly evil group of facist larpers interesting, because if it was any other game made around this time, the question would've been "Wow, isnt killing, enslaving, crucifying, torturing, and enslaving people bad?" New Vegas knows that there's not even a question here. They instead use it to create a stupidly excessive yet oddly understandable critique of Democracy, also helped by the fact that Caesar is funny as shit. The 3 other factions, despite being much better, are still pretty questionable and shit, but the game doesn't say it in a way that feels like an insufferable self entitled centrist saying "yeah, all sides suck and are kinda bad if you think about it".
Beyond story, New Vegas also has great gameplay despite the jankiness. New Vegas quite possibly has the best open world I've seen in a game. Every corner of the map has something that will catch your attention and lead you on a 10 minute tangent. Its not only so easy to find something new, but never does anything feel like padding. Even in games as acclaimed as Elden Ring or Zelda, at least half of your exploration will be finding near identical structures. In Fallout, every location, even something as small as a shack, can tell a unique tale. And unlike Red Dead Redemption or GTA, what you discover and invest in feels essential to your progression. The game isn't really difficult on standard mode, but you still do have to work to become really powerful. Deathclaws in this game do not fuck around. Even with power armor and level 30 (though with 4 Endurance), they will maul you faster than a pitbull will a toddler. You have an actual reason to go fuck around in the world, and your stats contribute even further importance. One of my favorite weapons in the game is a plasma rifle that has a bonus crit chance, and you find it in the random corner of a room that you need to have a high Science skill to access. And man, even if the shooting does kinda suck, you have so many wacky ass weapons and perks and builds that are so fun to use. New Vegas' world is quantity, quality, and liberating all at the same time.
I shouldn't be giving New Vegas such a high score. It has so many issues that feel frustrating, but it gives an experience that no other open world game has ever given to me. Its just a joy to play, and made me realize that RPGs might be the ultimate genre of videogames, one that is both high entertainment and profound at the same time. It also has Yes Man, who's probably one of the best characters in fiction and automatically makes up for all the whack shit in this game. I give this game a big iron/5.
This game is a prime example of why graphics actually DO matter in videogames. I don't mean this in the sense that every game needs to do the Rockstar approach where you put hundreds of artists in a meat grinder and force them to program horse testicles and horse shitting animations. What I mean is that a game does need to look visually engaging. New Vegas doesn't just look worse than some games that came out a generation prior to it, it also just looks so god damn dull. I get that this is a post-apocalyptic shit hole, but my god, every thing just blends into this forgettable and disgusting mush that you look at for dozens of hours.
But you know what's even more boring than ugly mutated colors that give a very poor sense of atmosphere? The traversal. I'm not asking for the game to give me a whole ass car to ride around in (which would probably be worse narrative wise), I just want something more interesting than walking very slowly across a massive map. Give me a sprint, or some mutated horse to ride around in, literally anything please.
And of course, because this technically a Bethesda game, you are gonna need some tough ass luck running this on PC without mods. When I first played the game, I couldn't even do the DLC because it would always crash, and I couldn't install any mods since I was using Gamepass. But even after getting the game on Steam and following a guide to fix a lot of bugs, I ended up encountering EVEN MORE BUGS. Now doors will randomly not work properly some times and will literally not let me through even if I open them. I've also encountered several occasions where bodies will ragdoll like its Gary's Mod, but at least this one is kinda funny when it happens.
That's pretty much all of my negatives, because I actually enjoyed the game even more this time. What makes the story of this game so compelling isn't just that its a really cool piece of speculative fiction, but rather that the game plops you down into the world and lets you pick up the pieces and solve issues in your own way. Its not trying to dictate morality itself and make sure you understand like a good boy. Rather, it uses game design to let the player choose for themselves, and it dares to challenge the morals of the player. There is no good ending in Fallout, nor a bad ending or a true ending. The ending is just that, the results of your action. Its shocking how a game is able to make even a blatantly evil group of facist larpers interesting, because if it was any other game made around this time, the question would've been "Wow, isnt killing, enslaving, crucifying, torturing, and enslaving people bad?" New Vegas knows that there's not even a question here. They instead use it to create a stupidly excessive yet oddly understandable critique of Democracy, also helped by the fact that Caesar is funny as shit. The 3 other factions, despite being much better, are still pretty questionable and shit, but the game doesn't say it in a way that feels like an insufferable self entitled centrist saying "yeah, all sides suck and are kinda bad if you think about it".
Beyond story, New Vegas also has great gameplay despite the jankiness. New Vegas quite possibly has the best open world I've seen in a game. Every corner of the map has something that will catch your attention and lead you on a 10 minute tangent. Its not only so easy to find something new, but never does anything feel like padding. Even in games as acclaimed as Elden Ring or Zelda, at least half of your exploration will be finding near identical structures. In Fallout, every location, even something as small as a shack, can tell a unique tale. And unlike Red Dead Redemption or GTA, what you discover and invest in feels essential to your progression. The game isn't really difficult on standard mode, but you still do have to work to become really powerful. Deathclaws in this game do not fuck around. Even with power armor and level 30 (though with 4 Endurance), they will maul you faster than a pitbull will a toddler. You have an actual reason to go fuck around in the world, and your stats contribute even further importance. One of my favorite weapons in the game is a plasma rifle that has a bonus crit chance, and you find it in the random corner of a room that you need to have a high Science skill to access. And man, even if the shooting does kinda suck, you have so many wacky ass weapons and perks and builds that are so fun to use. New Vegas' world is quantity, quality, and liberating all at the same time.
I shouldn't be giving New Vegas such a high score. It has so many issues that feel frustrating, but it gives an experience that no other open world game has ever given to me. Its just a joy to play, and made me realize that RPGs might be the ultimate genre of videogames, one that is both high entertainment and profound at the same time. It also has Yes Man, who's probably one of the best characters in fiction and automatically makes up for all the whack shit in this game. I give this game a big iron/5.
I don't mind that the story is stupid as hell and pulls out random lore out of its ass that makes no sense, because at the very least I found it enjoyable.
But what it does highlight is just how boring Fallout is without a strong open world and RPG mechanics. You walk in a straight line and shoot anything you see, and the game gives you so much loot that you don't even have to account for your resources at all. The only time I ever felt really challenged was a part in which you had to take down two Deathclaws right next to each other, and it was just a matter of remembering that I was carrying a nuke up my ass. I'll probably only play this DLC again to get all achievements and forget this ever existed.
But what it does highlight is just how boring Fallout is without a strong open world and RPG mechanics. You walk in a straight line and shoot anything you see, and the game gives you so much loot that you don't even have to account for your resources at all. The only time I ever felt really challenged was a part in which you had to take down two Deathclaws right next to each other, and it was just a matter of remembering that I was carrying a nuke up my ass. I'll probably only play this DLC again to get all achievements and forget this ever existed.
2000
I remember playing this game at my friends house in 1500 A.D during the Ming Dynasty. It boggles my mind how a game from 100 years ago was able to predict that COVID was staged by world governments, how redpilled! It also dares to make the statement that cyborg cops would be badass, which is awesome!
1998
You shitters gotta stop calling any videogame older than 15 minutes outdated
2003
The idea of a new F-Zero seems really cool on the surface, but we all know damn well from modern Mario spinoffs that it wouldn't even have a fraction of the charm and pure testosterone of this game. On top of the amazing sci-fi and arcade-y aesthetics, it also has such a stupid and cheesy story mode that knows its just that, which I absolutely love. The difficulty here makes any Fromsoft game look like preschool. It is blatant horse shit a lot of times, but its also so fun at the same time. I know this game wasn't developed by Nintendo, but god damn, they will never be able to top the presentation and speed of this game.
2018
Maybe I'm being too pretentious towards this game but its aight. Its a hard game to hate, but its also a game I struggle to give too much of a shit about, since a lot of its great elements feel watered down.
The swinging feels fantastic, but it feels more like a bonus than anything, since its mostly just a way to get from point A to B. There's a solid combat system that gives you enough free flow, but a lot of times it feels more like you're playing army/navy with how dodging works. The open world especially feels generic and barren to the point where its comparable to your average Ubislop game.
I kind of already forgot most of the events that happened in the plot. If I had to summarize it shortly, it feels like a pretty bland version of most Spiderman stories already told. I don't go into action games expecting the best story, but holy fuck this game seems to really want you to care about it with all the forced MJ and Miles missions. Miles especially pisses me off in this game. Going from how fantastic he was in the Spider-Verse movies to now, where he's the most braindead character in a videogame behind Ashley from RE4 hurts me.
I assume most people love Spiderman way more than I do, and they'll probably love this game a lot, and that's pretty great. Despite how I just shit on this game, I really wanted to like it. The opening mission was fantastic, it set up this much more playful and casual tone with the intro, with a pretty fantastic set piece and a perfect testing ground for the combat. Sadly for me, the game lost that momentum, and it turned into another pretty safe modern Sony title that blends in with every other AAA game nowadays.
The swinging feels fantastic, but it feels more like a bonus than anything, since its mostly just a way to get from point A to B. There's a solid combat system that gives you enough free flow, but a lot of times it feels more like you're playing army/navy with how dodging works. The open world especially feels generic and barren to the point where its comparable to your average Ubislop game.
I kind of already forgot most of the events that happened in the plot. If I had to summarize it shortly, it feels like a pretty bland version of most Spiderman stories already told. I don't go into action games expecting the best story, but holy fuck this game seems to really want you to care about it with all the forced MJ and Miles missions. Miles especially pisses me off in this game. Going from how fantastic he was in the Spider-Verse movies to now, where he's the most braindead character in a videogame behind Ashley from RE4 hurts me.
I assume most people love Spiderman way more than I do, and they'll probably love this game a lot, and that's pretty great. Despite how I just shit on this game, I really wanted to like it. The opening mission was fantastic, it set up this much more playful and casual tone with the intro, with a pretty fantastic set piece and a perfect testing ground for the combat. Sadly for me, the game lost that momentum, and it turned into another pretty safe modern Sony title that blends in with every other AAA game nowadays.
2007
This game sort of feels like a parasite stuck in my body that irks me every once in a while. I am legitimately unhealthily bothered by this game in a way that's absolutely weird, especially for a game I dropped halfway through and I just decided to watch the rest of on YouTube (But hey, that's how most Persona fans experience the games anyways). Its a game that I've tried to review multiple times, but every time I tried, it feels either really generic or forcefully unfunny, and this one will likely feel the same after a while.
Anyways, Persona 3's story consists of meaningful and complex themes being dumbed down into safe and easily digestible "anime cringe", where the story wants to actually be about a factory produced, self-insert twink being overpowered and beating blatantly evil bad guys, with side characters who only exist to suck the main character's dick (both figuratively and literally) and with half-assed, uninspired development and backstories that were slapped on top for the sake of some sappy melodrama. The story feels more like if you told Chat GPT to write a shonen anime (including the horrible fanservice and blatant pedophilia) with elements of philosophy and less like it came from someone who had a unique vision and insight of grief and death that they wanted to tell.
The weird part is that its the same exact issues that made Persona 4 and 5's stories so atrocious. But Persona 3 seems to get a pass instead, and I feel like its less so based on this game's own merit, but rather as a reaction to the popularity of those games, or idk, it might just be the Persona effect, where their stories are amazing as long as you don't bother thinking critically about them at all.
That isn't to mention as well that nearly every other aspect of the game is mediocre at best; with mind numbing dungeon crawling; mediocre combat; a long and drawn out calendar system; menus that feel more like PowerPoint slideshows; the repetitive and uninspired tracks that drown out the good ones with how you only seem to listen to the same 5 songs on repeat; and whatever the fuck happened to the beautiful art direction between SMT 3/DDS and Persona 3.
I'm ok with a game being relatively weak on the core gameplay if it at least has one great redeeming quality, but Persona 3 almost has fucking nothing. You'd genuinely believe the storytelling of this shit would be on the level of Scorsese or Orwell based on how people almost completely disregard the gameplay and praise the game almost entirely due to the story and atmosphere, but no, you basically get some im14andthisisdeep shit (although its fitting considering the target demographic). Probably tied for the most drastically overrated thing I've ever experienced with Revenge of the Sith.
Anyways, Persona 3's story consists of meaningful and complex themes being dumbed down into safe and easily digestible "anime cringe", where the story wants to actually be about a factory produced, self-insert twink being overpowered and beating blatantly evil bad guys, with side characters who only exist to suck the main character's dick (both figuratively and literally) and with half-assed, uninspired development and backstories that were slapped on top for the sake of some sappy melodrama. The story feels more like if you told Chat GPT to write a shonen anime (including the horrible fanservice and blatant pedophilia) with elements of philosophy and less like it came from someone who had a unique vision and insight of grief and death that they wanted to tell.
The weird part is that its the same exact issues that made Persona 4 and 5's stories so atrocious. But Persona 3 seems to get a pass instead, and I feel like its less so based on this game's own merit, but rather as a reaction to the popularity of those games, or idk, it might just be the Persona effect, where their stories are amazing as long as you don't bother thinking critically about them at all.
That isn't to mention as well that nearly every other aspect of the game is mediocre at best; with mind numbing dungeon crawling; mediocre combat; a long and drawn out calendar system; menus that feel more like PowerPoint slideshows; the repetitive and uninspired tracks that drown out the good ones with how you only seem to listen to the same 5 songs on repeat; and whatever the fuck happened to the beautiful art direction between SMT 3/DDS and Persona 3.
I'm ok with a game being relatively weak on the core gameplay if it at least has one great redeeming quality, but Persona 3 almost has fucking nothing. You'd genuinely believe the storytelling of this shit would be on the level of Scorsese or Orwell based on how people almost completely disregard the gameplay and praise the game almost entirely due to the story and atmosphere, but no, you basically get some im14andthisisdeep shit (although its fitting considering the target demographic). Probably tied for the most drastically overrated thing I've ever experienced with Revenge of the Sith.
2007
The composers will make a song for some level that's titled some Teletubbies ass shit like "Long Glorbo Galaxy" only for it to be absolute kino
2007
TF2's biggest achievement is the fact that its a class based team shooter that I can actively play without getting a migraine. I hate doing comparisons to other shooters since TF2 fans always compare themselves to other games as a form of circlejerking and validation-seeking, but whereas games like Overwatch or Rainbow 6 feel incredibly restrictive and rely on unrealistic amounts of teamwork, TF2's more individualistic style makes you feel like you're in a lot more control than the previous games. I also love the choice to keep the game limited to only 9 classes. Its simple and doesn't fuck with the balance with the game too much, but it also makes up for its smaller size with how deep and customizable the characters are. It also helps that the game can barely take itself seriously and has a style that's creative and funny rather than feeling like a board of executives trying to pander to the most broad audience of discord users (cough Valorant cough)
But despite the more individual feeling of TF2, it still can't escape the problem that plagues nearly every other team based shooter: steam rolls. While winning doesn't really matter in TF2, it still feels extremely frustrating or boring when 90% of matches feel like one team absolutely shitting on the other with one of them having no chance of even getting out of spawn. While I don't think a casual mode should have matchmaking as strict as a competitive game, in no world is having a match where one team has multiple >500 hour veterans (which is low balling by this game's standard) and the other is filled with f2p spies even remotely fun. While I did say that TF2 was more individualistic, you still can't beat an entire team at once on your own, especially with how many unplayable matchups there are in the game. For example, good luck even being able to breathe as Scout if your friendly neighborhood Demoman can't do shit about the level 3 sentry blocking half the map.
Well its a shame that besides a few recent updates this game doesn't get anything from big daddy Valve anymore and none of my issues will likely ever be fixed. I overall like it, but just because its been around forever and has memes in every corner of the internet doesn't mean I think its amazing. Also it would be very appreciated if a notable sum of this game's fans online were to spontaneously combust one day.
But despite the more individual feeling of TF2, it still can't escape the problem that plagues nearly every other team based shooter: steam rolls. While winning doesn't really matter in TF2, it still feels extremely frustrating or boring when 90% of matches feel like one team absolutely shitting on the other with one of them having no chance of even getting out of spawn. While I don't think a casual mode should have matchmaking as strict as a competitive game, in no world is having a match where one team has multiple >500 hour veterans (which is low balling by this game's standard) and the other is filled with f2p spies even remotely fun. While I did say that TF2 was more individualistic, you still can't beat an entire team at once on your own, especially with how many unplayable matchups there are in the game. For example, good luck even being able to breathe as Scout if your friendly neighborhood Demoman can't do shit about the level 3 sentry blocking half the map.
Well its a shame that besides a few recent updates this game doesn't get anything from big daddy Valve anymore and none of my issues will likely ever be fixed. I overall like it, but just because its been around forever and has memes in every corner of the internet doesn't mean I think its amazing. Also it would be very appreciated if a notable sum of this game's fans online were to spontaneously combust one day.