i couldnt just make one review on the game so i made a note file and wrote out a bunch.

Filler: The Game

This game has the worst sound design/mixing of any video game ever created.

I was genuinely surprised at any time this game got even slightly good because of how rare it happens.

Fuck you.

Fuck this game.

How the fuck is this the sequel to my favorite game ever made.

I hate every single character in this game.

I refuse to believe the same person that designed FUCKING PYRA designed the XC3 characters. Monolithsoft is lying to us.

The only way I got through this game was by turning on the cheats with the DLC and making the game dirt easy.

I hope we see Rex's grave in XC3 so I can piss on it.

At some point in my life I will throw a physical copy of XC2 into a pit of fire.

No other game has made me think "Who in the everloving fuck on this dev team thought this was an acceptable decision" more than this game.

This game should be studied on how not to design a video game.

I cried when the credits rolled because I was so happy it was finally over and I never had to play it ever again.

Field skills are actually worst mechanic in any video game ever. This isn't an exaggeration. How in the actual fuck did the developers of this game put this in and think it was fine. I hope the fuckhead that thought of field skills and the bitches that refused to speak up about how shit they are all get demoted to working on Mario+Sonic at the Olympic Games.

OK SO THERE'S THIS RANDOM OBJECT THAT'S BLOCKING YOUR PATH AND YOU NEED LEVEL 4 FUCKING COCKRIDING TO PROGRESS SO EITHER SIT IN A MENU AND BOND BLADES FOR 2 HOURS UNTIL YOU FIND ONE THAT HAS A COCKRIDING SKILL OR YOU CAN FIND A BLADE THAT ALREADY HAS COCKRIDING AND LEVEL IT UP WHICH'LL TAKE FUCKING YEARS BECAUSE THEY ARE TASKS LIKE Find 20 Mechanical Parts AND YOU HAVE TO GO DO OTHER USELESS SHIT UNTIL YOU CAN EVEN PROGRESS WITH THWE STORY

This game made me hate our world a little bit more.

How do you make a combat system that is worse in nearly every way from the original.

In half of the cutscenes the music is so loud you can barely hear the dialogue.

at least the ending was good

Capcom Classics Collection Revisits #8

Trojan is a spiritual successor to Irem-developed Kung Fu Master aka Spartan X or plain ol' Kung Fu when it was ported to NES, this was made by the same designer who left Irem for Capcom because I guess the pay was better or someone at Irem was porking his wife.

In Trojan you use a sword and shield, the sword is pretty nice to have for a bit of extra length to your attack, but the inclusion of the shield here is seriously haphazard. Blocking attacks in close quarters combat is useless, the enemies don't get stunned at all from this so it's not like they're open to counterattack or anything, and often times they swarm at you meaning that taking the time to block will just leave you open to getting crowded, and having attacks thrown at you from both directions. You're better off using your blocking for projectile attacks, at least assuming you have the TAS-like reflexes at times required to block them properly, or that the knife-throwing enemies don't throw a flashing projectile that disarms you of everything if you block said projectile. Goddamn do I love games who say "fuck you" to their own mechanics.

There is no post-hit invincibility in this game, so there will be plenty of times where you'll be minding your own business thinking you're doing well only for enemies to drain your health incredibly quickly and suddenly finding yourself back at the last checkpoint. It's so outrageously easy to get hit due to the speed of everything, and it feels like enemies sneak in hits out of nowhere even from beyond your shield and enemies respawn CONSTANTLY. It's actually easier to get all the enemies behind you and constantly jump forward to make the screen scroll quicker.

I believe when I reviewed this game last year I called it "The worst game Capcom ever made" or something, but honestly that's probably an exaggeration because at least this game is a barrel of laughs. I'd much rather play this fucking clownfest of a game than Dino Crisis 3. Christ, I'd rather play fuckin' five finger fillet than touch Dino Crisis 3. I must've been on some serious haterade when I wrote that thing.

Dumb game.

It's almost been 3 years since I posted a review on Bright Memory Episode 1, or rather just titled "Bright Memory" now, onto Steam, a forum which would absolutely not consider that version of the game to be anything less than one of the most praise worthy achievements around, especially since it was only made by "One person". It's a bit of a loaded sentiment really, yes FYQD handled many aspects on their own but the credits of the game also include different composers, voice actors, and also at many points, "UE Marketplace". Regardless it absolutely is impressive that the dev manged to release a functional game period, but it seems dishonest to bookend every single bit of praise or defense with that line all the way back at Episode 1, and absolutely now at Bright Memory Infinite.

Regardless let's talk about what's here, and what's here is... surprising. I was kind of prepared both to eat the words I shat out years ago or to otherwise do a smug little "I Told You So" little song and dance, but BMI leaves me in a position where I really can not fully do either because damn, this is just a different game than episode 1. Where episode 1 is a shooter with not so polished out design choices but filled with character action aspirations, Infinite is a game where gravity is absolute, movement is limited, and the move list is scaled way back, no more multi-button/ triple button press moves. Add the removal of the style meter altogether and it becomes clear this isn't a weird stylish action game but rather a very by the numbers "Playism published Indie" imitation of your standard triple A shooter.

Bright Memory Infinite is a game with big graphic, big QTE cutscene, big forced stealth section, big janked out vehicle section, big arrow on wall that points to where to go, big ammo everywhere, big 1 dollar dlcs in order to see the main character in a bikini, big gameplay element that serves to differentiate itself from other shooters in marketing but not really(that sword is still definitely just a gun), and not so big but bigger than the game's runtime upgrade tree where 20% is more button, 80% is to make button have better numbers. Who knows who decided this turn of direction but regardless what we're left with now is a serviceable shooty bang bang game if you don't expect too much.

Hey they addressed all the enemy design issues I had in episode 1. The melee enemies have projectiles so they don't just never touch you if you backdash away from them. The hitscan gun dude enemies, even in the worst areas in regards to cover, can be defended against with the defense button, returning all fire at the cost of meter, seemed a bit lame at first but there were plenty of times the button did not bail me out.

Speaking of say good bye to the 6 different cooldowns happening all at once in Episode one, now everything that isn't a gun is tied to one singular meter that refills faster by shooting guns. It works and as said before it balances the "I simply choose to not take damage" button, and while there is some redundancy in the moves you unlock for both your Exo Arm and your sword, that's fine especially since you're not likely to actually fully upgrade by the end (Unless you repeatedly pick up a collectible upgrade statue that is near a checkpoint repeatedly after dying, with the game remembering the upgrades and upgrade points, but still spawning the statue after each death anyways, but don't tell FYQD about that). The guns still gun, and gun differently enough that they work better in different situations yadda yadda, They each have special ammo but it's a potential waste to dump them into anything but a boss, against which it's basically just free extra damage. The defense button also is also used as a timed parry button in order to "stagger" bigger melee enemies, fun fact episode 1 used to include the dark souls bonfire, just the actual dark souls bonfire, had the "Bonfire Lit" text and everything, funniest shit anyone has ever seen apparently. Finally, you still can't dash forward, they give you the COD sprint now but for some reason you still have the dash that works in every direction but forward, it's the strangest thing, I don't get it.

All this gameplay breakdown is to say, it's absolutely the best Shadow Warrior game I've ever seen.

So I've made my point right? The gameplay of this gameplay-centric shooty game is fine but nothing seen before yeah. Let's talk about real shit. Let's talk about this fucking rain . There's a storm raging throughout the game you see. You got your standard droplets crashing down hard, you got the strong winds carrying mist, blowing leaves off trees, you got the outline of droplets stuck on the camera in gameplay and during cutscenes regardless of if it makes sense or not. As the game is it's mostly just something to look at during the downtime in between shootouts, but it's legit good stuff regardless, wouldn't be surprised to see it on @Rainingames .

The story is mostly nothing but it does have fun things like there simply being a black hole in the distance the entire time, The ancient general guy who's never explained and the guy who flies the helicopter simply having the voice acting in the English dub and I would not have it any other way, said helicopter guy nearly crashing into town trying to deliver a full on spy-car-ass spy car, said spy car being equipped with a mounted rocket launcher and this guy :). Antics like these that for one reason or another you just gotta have a nice smile or laugh when it happens.

The soundtrack is also kind of neat, no bangers really but it's neat in how it mixes some distinctly Old-fashioned "Chinese" sounds into what is otherwise just generic serviceable score.

And that's Bright Memory I guess, I'm not mad that I didn't get the game that was promised all the way back when Episode 1 came out, Ultrakill did go into Early Access since then after all, but I am surprised and confused that this is what came out of it all. I could make fancy musings about whether it would be better if they kept at it with their riskier less proven design directions. I could make possible but foundation-less conspiracies about big Playism man not wanting fun in my shooter, even though Episode 1 also displayed plenty of love for Triple A-isms and how those games are designed. In the end we have what we have, and what we have is not the biggest deal one way or another. Impressive that it exists, but goes nowhere fast.

If you read through all of this judging whether or not to buy this che- wait they sold this shit for $20? Well fuck. If you got it for having episode 1 prior to release and you're bored, go ahead. Otherwise it's probably best to play a different game, one made by multiple people probably, those tend to up well.