The Magnum Dong Licensed Game List
Licensed games are like assholes; everyone's got them, but what matters is what asshole is better than the other asshole. Did that analogy make any sense, No? Too bad that's the best I can come up with.
(This list will never truly be finished since I can't play every licensed game ever made so I'm gonna be updating this game periodically as I play more or log more that I forgot to log in.)
(This list will never truly be finished since I can't play every licensed game ever made so I'm gonna be updating this game periodically as I play more or log more that I forgot to log in.)
246 Games
Where's my money Dominos?
Raven Software were truly magicians in their prime.
I mean it's still not the worst bastardization I've seen for this series, Doomsday Clock still exist.
A pretty decent finally to the series and a super depression end to Telltale.
The best game I've seen in a long time that tried doing the Story centered Choice-based game.
A confusing mess of 3 different scrips slap dashed togather with almot no effort to make each episode connect togather in some way.
This is what VR was made for, this is the shit that I crave.
Don't really care all that much about this one, I was just really bored by it.
Not only did it really derail the story and characters they were working with, but it also shows off the depressing decline of quality Telltale was going through at the time.
Pretty fun lightsaber simulator with a story I really couldn't give a shit about. At least Dark Vader was cool.
UP yours John Lasseter.
Somehow the ET mini-game in this is worse than the actual ET game.
You can play as Venom and eat kids so of course it's better than Spider-Man 2
I find War for Cybertron really frustrating. On the one hand I think its visuals look really nice and stay pretty faithful to the G1 look while also still giving it their own unique spin on the characters on the other hand the typical 7th gen gray filter makes it hard to shoot enemies when they also blend into the background making the game more frustrating than challenging.
On one hand I think the run and gun play is fun and really refreshing when it came to other 7th gen cover based shooters that were never good like Uncharted 1 or GoW, on the other hand it still plays like a stiff 7th gen shooter and unlike other games it resembles like Vanquish it’s slow and sluggish with enemies that are just bullet spongy enough to feel annoying. Along with that the arena level layouts all just suck. They feel very much gated into one way of progression and with how easily you can die if you’re not always on your feet the gameplay gets boring really REALLY fast.
On one hand I think the story is really neat, being able to see the origins of character relationships and events unfolding that I’m assuming the G1 show had in it’s lore (I’ve never seen any piece of Transformers media I just think the robots look cool), on the other hand the game’s pacing is really shit and having the Decepticon campaign start off the game really didn’t help since the beginning of the game is really weak; it only started it get better with the Autobot campaign but by that point the game is almost over and idk if it’s just a me thing but I just wasn't grip by the story personally.
If you can’t tell, I'm not a Transformers fan and I don’t really have any attachment to these
On one hand I think the run and gun play is fun and really refreshing when it came to other 7th gen cover based shooters that were never good like Uncharted 1 or GoW, on the other hand it still plays like a stiff 7th gen shooter and unlike other games it resembles like Vanquish it’s slow and sluggish with enemies that are just bullet spongy enough to feel annoying. Along with that the arena level layouts all just suck. They feel very much gated into one way of progression and with how easily you can die if you’re not always on your feet the gameplay gets boring really REALLY fast.
On one hand I think the story is really neat, being able to see the origins of character relationships and events unfolding that I’m assuming the G1 show had in it’s lore (I’ve never seen any piece of Transformers media I just think the robots look cool), on the other hand the game’s pacing is really shit and having the Decepticon campaign start off the game really didn’t help since the beginning of the game is really weak; it only started it get better with the Autobot campaign but by that point the game is almost over and idk if it’s just a me thing but I just wasn't grip by the story personally.
If you can’t tell, I'm not a Transformers fan and I don’t really have any attachment to these
This game captured the movie in the best way possible, destroying stuff looks fun……………that’s it.
It’s shovelware in its least interesting form.
It took everything I had a problem with with War of Cybertron and just made them better and smoother.
This game quite honestly has no reason to be as good as it is. The chel shading art style is on point, everything about its combat is super solid. Really the only thing I can criticize is mostly just getting a bit to repetitive after awhile since unlike other Platinum Games combat loop, but it’s not like it really matters since the game is like 3 hours long, there's really little reason to replay the game as well other than to get a better score on the levels. I guess if you’re a dieheart Gen 1 Transformers fan you’d get a kick out of it but good luck trying to find it, it’s been delisted for all online storefront and finding a cheap steam key is even harder. Honestly I don’t even know why I own this game since I’m not even that big of a Transformers fan (I’m more of a Ninja Turtles kind of person) I just sorta had this in a PS4 library as if it magically apprised there out of thin air.
Oh well I’m not gonna complain, I may not have PT but at least I have this.
Oh well I’m not gonna complain, I may not have PT but at least I have this.
I played this game a lot as a kid, on a replay it didn't really recapture the nostalgia I had but it was still pretty ok.
I'm 100% sure whenever the press asked the development team about the game's "quality" their stock answer would be "Well the Three Stooges themselves made the game".
Knowing that Activision published the game they might be right.
Knowing that Activision published the game they might be right.
the scream sound effect is honest to god one of the worst things I've ever had the displeasure to hear through my ear holes.
It takes the best parts of what Resistance did and adds a lot more fast-paced action scenes, along with much better voiced characters. it's somewhat short; only lasting around 4 to 5 hours, but it's the best 4 to 5 hours this game has to offer.
A pretty alright shooter with a super well-realized annotation of the iconography that the Terminator movies have.
Took all the charm away for the original and now we're left with a really mediocre beat him up.
I've always preferred this game over the original arcade game mostly for nostalgic reasons. Pretty much everything from the sprites to movement is better along with the music just HHHEEEMMMMMM it slaps. I still prefer the SNES version more since I feel the pacing in that game is much better and higher boss count makes the fanservies part of my brain happy; but realistically you can’t go wrong with either version of the game.
It's the best of the 3 TMNT fighting games but I've never really been that big of a fan of these games so It didn't really click with me.
It's a fighting game on NES I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't shit.
I really don't like the Sega Genesis so to me this is an inferior version almost every way to TMNTTIT.
Take every single element of the older TMNT beat-em-up games and turns everything up to 11.
The visuals and sprite work is outstanding, it does such a good job replicating the look of the 80's show right down to the background looking like they were done with watercolor.
The OST is also amazing, knowing that Tee Lopes did the work on this makes a lot of sense since he's really good when it comes to capturing the tone and sound on specific projects he works on. (side note: never before did I think I'd hear Wu-Tang Clan in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles video game but here we are).
This is the perfect TMNT game through and through.
The visuals and sprite work is outstanding, it does such a good job replicating the look of the 80's show right down to the background looking like they were done with watercolor.
The OST is also amazing, knowing that Tee Lopes did the work on this makes a lot of sense since he's really good when it comes to capturing the tone and sound on specific projects he works on. (side note: never before did I think I'd hear Wu-Tang Clan in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles video game but here we are).
This is the perfect TMNT game through and through.
Platinum what the fuck I thought you were better than this.
Slow and boring, just the way I hate em.
(The SNES Version)
Nothing will ever top this game's OST, it has no reason to go so fucking hard but it does and it's amazing for it.
Nothing will ever top this game's OST, it has no reason to go so fucking hard but it does and it's amazing for it.
It's pretty much what you'd expect from an NES version of an arcade game.
It's the best of the NES TMNT games but my main problem is that it's still a beaten-up game on NES, most NES games have not aged very well and this one has also aged quite a bit.
From what I've played it's the best of the 3 TMNT GB games but honestly that's not saying a lot considering this is still GB.
It's not as good as the first GB TMNT game but idk what I expected from GB.
GB games come in 3 categories, ok, shit, god awful. This one just falls under ok which is amazing for most GB games.
It's pretty much just like TMNTTIT but missing all of the parts TIT that I really liked.
This has some of the most horrid level design I think I've ever seen in a video game.
t takes pretty much everything from SSW1 and makes it a lot better. The overall difficulty is a lot more forgiving and hits that right kind of frustrating that can make old-school games fun, hell they even made the mission with the superFX chip more playable, and that is an achievement even OG Star Fox can't say.
But once again the first level is the worse of the game and you'll have to slog through it until you get to the good bits.
But once again the first level is the worse of the game and you'll have to slog through it until you get to the good bits.
This is hands down the best of the Super Star Wars games. Its level design is the perfect blend of challenging and rewarding, its gameplay is finely tuned to a T, its superFX chip missions are the best (with the exception of the Endor speeder bikes mission that one just sucks), and oh my god; this is honestly one of the best looking SNES games I've ever seen, the fight with the Rancor looks amazing not even just for SNES standers.
Is the game still ball bustly hard- yeah a little
Does the first level still the worst level of the game- once again yeah it is.
Regardless If you were to ask me which one to get into I'd say start with this one.
Is the game still ball bustly hard- yeah a little
Does the first level still the worst level of the game- once again yeah it is.
Regardless If you were to ask me which one to get into I'd say start with this one.
This is very much one of those types of games where you really need to stick with it. The most infamous part of these games is how brutally hard they all are, and honestly; if you gave up on the first level I wouldn't blame you. The funny thing is the game gets a lot better after the awful first level on Tatooine, the platforming gets slightly more forgiving, the enemies stop spamming you, you get access to more characters that can make the game more manageable, and the levels that utilize superFX chip are "alright"; it really does it better after the first level. Also oh my god this game looks really fucking good, I sometimes forget how great SNES can look sometimes.
Inferior in pretty much every way, while it's still fun; I wouldn't say it's awful, but unlike the first game it gets old really fast and it's only 5 hours long so idk what the hell happened
Pretty fun if it's a little repetitive god of war clone.
It's about on par with episode 4 on NES, IE not great but has some really nice looking visuals for NES and especially for an NES licensed games.
I mean it's fine I guess, when it comes to Atari games where it's so simple I can't really say much about it other then. Eh it's just whatever
For an Atari version of an arcade game; it's honestly not that bad, given all of the other horrible ports made around that time.
It's the ship parts of Battlefront 2 but made into a whole game, never been a fan of the ship parts so shockingly not a huge fan of this either.
I find it funny that the only unreleased Atari Star wars game is somehow the best one.
It's just like any other Atari game released near the crash, forgettable.
It's the same stiff Dark Souls combat but with a Star Wars skin on it, and if that's you're cup of tea then have fun. Personally, eeehhh it's pretty ok.
I still to this day don't know how this game even works, and after 6 years I'm gonna blame the game on this one rather than my own incompetence.
Yeah no thank you this fucking sucks.
A third-person/first-person shooter made for people who don't like shooters.
Pretty much worse in every way compared to the American NES version, but it does have some weird Japanese jank that can make it funny at times.
While it's not really good I've played far worse in terms of licensed games on NES, plus there is some really good looking pixel art used in the game which is impressive given the whole "NES licensed games" conundrum.
I've played better shitty minigame collections.
A pretty nice return to form for Spongebob 3D platformers, but there's this weird feeling of aimlessness emitting from it.
That jellyfish fields theme has hunted my childhood, and it's still there taunting me.
It's pretty much just Ratchet and Clank but lacking everything that makes video games fun.
I don't find this nearly as good as BFBB, but it does end with me fighting the final boss on the back of a big hairy dude and I think that's kinda hot so it's getting an 8.
Surprisingly not the worst party/minigame collection I've ever played. It's not gonna be the new Mario party or anything but if you were a kid back in the 2000s (like me) then I'm sure you'd would have loved it.
Macrophilia Plankton Fetish.
No I will not explain.
No I will not explain.
It's a classic what else can I say about it.
I know when I was a kid I loved just breaking shit so seeing kids get games like Twisted Metal is really nice to see. Just kinda wish it didn't have that smelling license stink to it.
Pretty whatever compilation of minigames, pretty mid 4 but taking 1 point off for not having David Bowie.
An actual literal asset flip of a video game, like for real go fuck yourself Activision.
Look it has Venom and Moon Knight in it so it's pretty fucking kino
I've always liked the multiverse Spider-Mna stuff, and seeing all the different versions of Spider-Man's rogues gallery is neat, I just wished the gameplay and level design were as good.
Less of a game and more of a tech demo.
Besides having the novelty of playing as Spidy's rouges gallery it's a super mindless beat-em-up with very little replay value.
I mean it was free so it's not like complaining about how bare bones it is but it was still super bare bones.
From the same game director who would later on being us Mass Effect Andromeda gives us the most boring of the Activision, but still not the worst.
while over the years the movie has grown on me, this game has only gotten worse and worse with each passing year.
it's pretty much just the same as the first only with less interesting levels and fewer of Spidey's rogues gallery.
Pure movie game kino.
YOUR RUNNING OUT OF FFFLLUUID
Compared to other Spider-Men games this feels the most like a rushed tie-in game. Which I mean it is but other games have been able to hide it better than others.
It's a classic on the PS1, I just feel like most PS1 games have aged pretty poorly.
I mean I got the game for free so I can't complain too much but it's still pretty eh.
It's the closest a game has ever been when it came to putting you into the actual show itself while also just being a great game as well.
Modern-day South Park depresses the shit out of me man.
An actual stain on the show's legacy.
If I saw this man on the street and snuck up to me and gave me a sandwich I'd punch in the throat out of pure instinct.
I swear if I hear the word Smurf one more god damn time I'm gonna lose my fucking mind.
People who've said this is "the worst game of 2023" really need to play more games, or at least play more licensed video games, because while this is a fucking awful game; I've seen far worse come out of the AAA seen and they have even less of a reason to end up the way they do.
Flanders is the most powerful character in fiction.
I hate Mobile games man, I really fucking hate them
Bad skateboarding games are like bad friends, everyone has one and they always leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.
It's pretty much just Crazy Taxi but with a Simpson's skin, I don't know who asked for this in 2001 but hey they made it.
I was really desperate to find games to play around October.
I'll always find the first few hours of this game to be a fon nostalgic memory, the last few hours and pure pain.
Everyone will simp for Hit and run until the day when it gets a remaster but where will you be when the world is burning and The Simpsons Game will come to bring you to salvation. I know where I'll be. Do You?
I still stand by my statement "Besides the handful of memorable titles on the system almost every NES game is either bad or woefully outdated", and this game has continued to prove me right.
On paper, this could have been a fun game but in execution it's super janky and bad. Really the most memorable thing about this game is that one time Doug Walker played it and got shit for being bad at a bad game.
It's just one of those classic play with friends arcade games where it's not about the combos or the points, it's about playing with some friends as you beat the ever-loving shit out of everyone in sight, and really isn't that what friendship is all about.
I somehow have 3 copies of this game and for the life of me I don't know why.
I have a problem..............I generally love the shit out of this game.
It's Saw in it's purest form, too bad I don't like Saw.
3 Comments
sam and max this high is mega based
Seeing I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream one space before The Simpson's game lmao
NOWITSREYNTIME17
2 years ago