The Dannest of GPTs
Ranking the Unraveled: Unleash the Power of Gaming as I Ascend from Ascendant to Appalling, with the Ultimate Catastrophe Claiming the Coveted First Place, which represents the absolute worst! (Please Note: 'Mario Kart Midnight' represents the enigmatic 'Mario Kart Black' mod, and 'Mario CTGP Rev' stands in for 'Mario Kart Wii 2.' The Placement of 'Minecraft' is Solely Informed by the Hypixel Skyblocks Experience)
Delve into the Chronicles of Gaming as I Tread the Path of Divinity, Fumbling and Soaring through Titles that Await My Verdict. 'Elden Ring,' 'Final Fantasy XIV,' 'Fire Emblem Fire and Ice,' and the Infamous 'Smarty Pants' form the Quartet Chosen to Bring Structure to the Anarchy that Is My Backlog.
Prepare to Witness the Hierarchy Unfold: From Unrivaled Grandeur to Unrelenting Misery, This List Chronicles My Odyssey through Titles that Dared to Cross My Path. So Grab Your Controllers and Brace Yourselves for the Revelation of Rankings, as I Ascend the Ladder of Digital Ascendancy!
Delve into the Chronicles of Gaming as I Tread the Path of Divinity, Fumbling and Soaring through Titles that Await My Verdict. 'Elden Ring,' 'Final Fantasy XIV,' 'Fire Emblem Fire and Ice,' and the Infamous 'Smarty Pants' form the Quartet Chosen to Bring Structure to the Anarchy that Is My Backlog.
Prepare to Witness the Hierarchy Unfold: From Unrivaled Grandeur to Unrelenting Misery, This List Chronicles My Odyssey through Titles that Dared to Cross My Path. So Grab Your Controllers and Brace Yourselves for the Revelation of Rankings, as I Ascend the Ladder of Digital Ascendancy!
221 Games
YUME NIKKI 🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃
Score: 8/10
Score: 8/10
Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links is a mobile card game that brings the iconic Yu-Gi-Oh! universe to your fingertips. With over 8.1 billion people on the planet, statistically speaking, the vast majority may find the game's nostalgic and strategic elements appealing. Despite the tragic events of 9/11, which claimed the lives of close to 3,000 people, it is reasonable to assume that a majority of people still currently living would find the game's nostalgia to be a major pro.
Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links offers a lighthearted escape into a world of strategy and dueling, where players can immerse themselves in a game that is enjoyed by the vast majority of the world's population. The game's faithful recreation of the Yu-Gi-Oh! trading card game, along with its online multiplayer mode, ensures that players can experience the thrill of dueling against others from around the world.
While some may criticize the game for its microtransactions, which can be seen as a downside, the overall enjoyment and entertainment value it provides cannot be denied. For fans of the Yu-Gi-Oh! franchise and card game enthusiasts, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links is a must-play, offering hours of fun and excitement.
Score: 9.5/10
Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links offers a lighthearted escape into a world of strategy and dueling, where players can immerse themselves in a game that is enjoyed by the vast majority of the world's population. The game's faithful recreation of the Yu-Gi-Oh! trading card game, along with its online multiplayer mode, ensures that players can experience the thrill of dueling against others from around the world.
While some may criticize the game for its microtransactions, which can be seen as a downside, the overall enjoyment and entertainment value it provides cannot be denied. For fans of the Yu-Gi-Oh! franchise and card game enthusiasts, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links is a must-play, offering hours of fun and excitement.
Score: 9.5/10
To be fair, you need a high IQ to understand "Your Turn to Die: Death Game by Majority." The game's narrative is incredibly nuanced, with subtle twists and turns that require a solid understanding of human psychology and moral dilemmas. The humor, while not overt, is deeply woven into the characters' interactions and the game's overarching themes. Fans of the game appreciate its complexity and how it delves into deep philosophical questions about life and morality. Those who dismiss it as just another game fail to grasp its true depth and meaning. As someone who appreciates the intellectual challenges posed by "Your Turn to Die," I can't help but feel sorry for those who don't understand its brilliance.
Score: 9/10
Score: 9/10
"Your Time to Shine: Island Existence is a bizarre and confusing game that seems to draw strange parallels to real-world events. The game's portrayal of a country filled with identical houses and people, invaded by alien creatures, is both absurd and intriguing. The protagonist's role as a super soldier leading a resistance adds a layer of heroism to the narrative. However, the game's narrative is so abstract and disconnected that it's hard to fully grasp its message. Despite its flaws, the game's bizarre nature makes it a memorable experience, albeit for all the wrong reasons."
Score: 5/10
Score: 5/10
Yakuza 0 is a game that knows how to have fun, even if it means spending hours playing virtual bowling and pool. While some may criticize the game for its inclusion of these seemingly mundane activities, they add a layer of charm and authenticity to the game's vibrant world. Additionally, the game's nod to the "Dame Da Ne Guy" meme may seem pandering to some, but it's done in a way that feels organic and adds to the game's quirky sense of humor. Overall, Yakuza 0 is a captivating experience that combines intense drama with lighthearted moments, creating a truly memorable gaming experience.
Score: 8/10
Score: 8/10
"POOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIRRRYYYYYAAAA" - the iconic battle cry that echoes through the bizarre world of Xenoblade Chronicles 2. The voice acting in this game is so wildly inconsistent that it transcends the boundaries of cringe and becomes a surreal masterpiece. Pyra's constant "POOIIIRRAAAAAAAAAAA" is either an intentional artistic choice or a spectacular failure, depending on how you interpret it. But hey, do you even play video games if you're not experiencing this rollercoaster of emotions? Some might say it's just porn, but it's the kind of porn that involves questionable voice acting and sword-wielding anime characters. Xenoblade Chronicles 2 earns a 9/10 for daring to be different and leaving players questioning their existence in the most entertaining way possible.
Playing WWE 2K15 led to unexpected excitement in my life. My buddy, let's call him John, noticed me playing it on PS4 and came into my room to tease me about it. I told him to leave, but then I saw he changed our nicknames in his Discord server to Cena and Punk. I asked him why he did that, but he just giggled. I challenged him to a wrestling match, and things escalated quickly. We ended up in a heated wrestling match, and amidst the adrenaline, I kissed him. We made out for like 5 minutes and then he called me a mark and chased me out of the room, shouting "You can't see me!" We're both 19 and live together in an apartment in Jersey because rent in the city is insane.
Score: 9/10
Score: 9/10
WWE '13, the epitome of virtual brawling. Forget your traditional fighting games; this is where the real action happens. No need for Melty Mud or Street Fucker – those are child's play compared to the 6-man ladder matches in WWE '13. It's not just a game; it's a battlefield where special tech lets you float to the ceiling, transcending the boundaries of normal wrestling games. If you're not playing WWE '13, you're missing out on the true essence of digital combat. 10/10 for turning wrestling into a fantastical spectacle.
Wolfenstein: The New Order is a game that Screengame turned to in a desperate attempt to escape the monotony of shovelware. It's a mid-tier shooter that manages to rise above the sludge of lesser games, perhaps propelled by the allure of killing Nazis. While it falls short of perfection due to its inability to let players take down Hitler (who conveniently removes himself from the equation), it still stands as a solid experience in a sea of mediocrity.
Score: 8/10
Score: 8/10
Wii Sports Resort offers a diverse array of mini-games set on the picturesque Wuhu Island. One standout feature is the ability to perform the "double points dance," which does not actually make you murder your opponents with a wooden stick but instead adds an element of fun and competition to the gameplay. The basketball mini-game, while not everyone's favorite, provides a unique challenge, especially with its "stay still" variant, which requires strategic positioning and timing rather than simply waggling the controller.
One criticism of the game is the lack of complicated math as an essential mechanic, which may disappointed me as a fan of more complex sports games. However, I understand this simplicity is part of Wii Sports Resort's charm.
Allow me to weigh in on an evergoing debate that the Miis on Wuhu Island should be given the death penalty, while I understand the perspective of that position, I personally disagree with that notion. Wii Sports Resort is a fun and engaging game that showcases the capabilities of the Wii MotionPlus controller and provides hours of entertainment for players.
Score: 8/10
One criticism of the game is the lack of complicated math as an essential mechanic, which may disappointed me as a fan of more complex sports games. However, I understand this simplicity is part of Wii Sports Resort's charm.
Allow me to weigh in on an evergoing debate that the Miis on Wuhu Island should be given the death penalty, while I understand the perspective of that position, I personally disagree with that notion. Wii Sports Resort is a fun and engaging game that showcases the capabilities of the Wii MotionPlus controller and provides hours of entertainment for players.
Score: 8/10
Ronaldo's SIUUU may be missing from Wii Sports, but the game itself is a true victory dance. Whether swinging a virtual tennis racket or bowling a strike, Wii Sports brings an engaging physicality to gaming. The simplicity and accessibility make it a timeless classic, bringing people of all ages together for some friendly competition. While it may lack Ronaldo's iconic celebration, Wii Sports deserves a solid 9/10 for its innovative approach and enduring appeal.
Wii Party U, where do I even begin? This game is a prime example of how a seemingly innocent party game can turn into a button-smashing nightmare. It all started with this piece of garbage, and I can't help but wonder why it was ever created in the first place.
The premise of Wii Party U might sound promising on the surface, with its collection of mini-games and activities designed for multiplayer fun. However, the reality is far from enjoyable. The controls are clunky and unresponsive, making it a frustrating experience from the get-go.
But the real kicker is the button-smashing. It seems like the only button worth smashing in this game is the power button on your console to make it stop. The mini-games are often reduced to mindless button mashing, devoid of any strategy or skill. It quickly becomes a test of who can wear out their controller the fastest, leading to sore thumbs and a sense of regret.
The lack of depth and variety in the mini-games is astonishing. It's as if the developers ran out of ideas and decided that making players repeatedly press buttons was the way to go. There's no creativity or innovation here, just a mind-numbing repetition of the same uninspired activities.
In conclusion, Wii Party U is a button-smashing nightmare that offers little in terms of genuine fun or entertainment. It's a stain on the reputation of party games and serves as a cautionary tale of what happens when creativity takes a backseat to mindless button mashing. If you value your sanity and your controllers, steer clear of this turd of a game.
Score: 1/10
The premise of Wii Party U might sound promising on the surface, with its collection of mini-games and activities designed for multiplayer fun. However, the reality is far from enjoyable. The controls are clunky and unresponsive, making it a frustrating experience from the get-go.
But the real kicker is the button-smashing. It seems like the only button worth smashing in this game is the power button on your console to make it stop. The mini-games are often reduced to mindless button mashing, devoid of any strategy or skill. It quickly becomes a test of who can wear out their controller the fastest, leading to sore thumbs and a sense of regret.
The lack of depth and variety in the mini-games is astonishing. It's as if the developers ran out of ideas and decided that making players repeatedly press buttons was the way to go. There's no creativity or innovation here, just a mind-numbing repetition of the same uninspired activities.
In conclusion, Wii Party U is a button-smashing nightmare that offers little in terms of genuine fun or entertainment. It's a stain on the reputation of party games and serves as a cautionary tale of what happens when creativity takes a backseat to mindless button mashing. If you value your sanity and your controllers, steer clear of this turd of a game.
Score: 1/10
Wheel of Fortune, the classic word-guessing game, is a staple in many game nights and gatherings. However, my experience with it was... quite unique.
Picture this: a seemingly innocent game of Wheel of Fortune with friends turns into a real-life Death Note scenario. One of the players transforms into Kira, the infamous antagonist from Death Note, right in the midst of the game. While I thought we were all here for some friendly wordplay and puzzle-solving, it turns out that someone was harboring secret ambitions to wield the power of life and death.
This unexpected twist added an entirely new layer to the game. While we were spinning the wheel, revealing letters, and solving puzzles, the underlying tension was palpable. Each move felt like a step towards unraveling the mystery of who among us had taken on the mantle of Kira.
To be honest, this dramatic turn of events made the game both more exciting and more terrifying. The usual joy of shouting out guesses and competing for puzzle solutions was overshadowed by the eerie feeling that we were playing with someone who had become unhinged, just like Kira.
As a result, my experience of Wheel of Fortune was unlike any other. While the game itself remains a classic and the mechanics are as entertaining as ever, the memory of that fateful game night with the "Kira" player lingers in my mind. It's a testament to the power of a game to create unexpected narratives and experiences.
In the end, Wheel of Fortune gets a solid 6 out of 10 from me. The game is undeniably entertaining, but who knew that it could also provide the backdrop for a real-life Death Note scenario? Just remember, next time you gather around the wheel, be prepared for the unexpected – you might just find yourself facing a Kira of your own.
Picture this: a seemingly innocent game of Wheel of Fortune with friends turns into a real-life Death Note scenario. One of the players transforms into Kira, the infamous antagonist from Death Note, right in the midst of the game. While I thought we were all here for some friendly wordplay and puzzle-solving, it turns out that someone was harboring secret ambitions to wield the power of life and death.
This unexpected twist added an entirely new layer to the game. While we were spinning the wheel, revealing letters, and solving puzzles, the underlying tension was palpable. Each move felt like a step towards unraveling the mystery of who among us had taken on the mantle of Kira.
To be honest, this dramatic turn of events made the game both more exciting and more terrifying. The usual joy of shouting out guesses and competing for puzzle solutions was overshadowed by the eerie feeling that we were playing with someone who had become unhinged, just like Kira.
As a result, my experience of Wheel of Fortune was unlike any other. While the game itself remains a classic and the mechanics are as entertaining as ever, the memory of that fateful game night with the "Kira" player lingers in my mind. It's a testament to the power of a game to create unexpected narratives and experiences.
In the end, Wheel of Fortune gets a solid 6 out of 10 from me. The game is undeniably entertaining, but who knew that it could also provide the backdrop for a real-life Death Note scenario? Just remember, next time you gather around the wheel, be prepared for the unexpected – you might just find yourself facing a Kira of your own.
WarioWare: Smooth Moves is a quirky, off-the-wall adventure that'll have you questioning reality and laughing hysterically at the same time. While some might deny its existence (seriously, who's ever heard of it?), those in the know understand its zany appeal.
This game is like stumbling into an alternate dimension where chaos reigns supreme, and Wario is your mischievous guide. With its unique microgames and unconventional controls, it's a wild ride from start to finish. Whether you're racing against the clock or trying to figure out what exactly you're supposed to be doing, each microgame offers a fresh and unexpected challenge.
Sure, it may not be as legendary as its sequel, WarioWare: Shove It Up Your Own Ass Game (seriously, who comes up with these names?), but Smooth Moves holds its own as a wacky, unforgettable experience. So, if you're ready to embrace the absurdity and dive headfirst into the chaos, give WarioWare: Smooth Moves a spin. Just don't be surprised if you find yourself questioning reality along the way.
Score: 8/10
This game is like stumbling into an alternate dimension where chaos reigns supreme, and Wario is your mischievous guide. With its unique microgames and unconventional controls, it's a wild ride from start to finish. Whether you're racing against the clock or trying to figure out what exactly you're supposed to be doing, each microgame offers a fresh and unexpected challenge.
Sure, it may not be as legendary as its sequel, WarioWare: Shove It Up Your Own Ass Game (seriously, who comes up with these names?), but Smooth Moves holds its own as a wacky, unforgettable experience. So, if you're ready to embrace the absurdity and dive headfirst into the chaos, give WarioWare: Smooth Moves a spin. Just don't be surprised if you find yourself questioning reality along the way.
Score: 8/10
WarioWare: Move It! is a game that will leave you speechless, and not in a good way. The game introduces a new feature where the female TikTok text-to-speech voice narrates some of the actions, but unfortunately, it's execution has mixed results. I find the voice super annoying, with its exaggerated emphasis on random words and an overall uncanny tone. This choice has led to a polarizing effect, leading to me outright skipping videos featuring this voice. It's a shame that such a small aspect of the game can bring such negative vibes, overshadowing an otherwise enjoyable experience.
Score: 5/10
Score: 5/10
The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners is a mess of shovelware, a reminder of a time when we weren't inundated with garbage games. The zombies move at a snail's pace, making them more of a nuisance than a threat. The inability to kill NPCs adds an unnecessary layer of frustration, but if you glitch the game enough, you can bypass this limitation, which is both amusing and indicative of the game's lack of polish. Overall, a forgettable experience that fails to live up to its potential.
Score: 4/10
Score: 4/10
Undertale, while intended to confront players' biases and norms, falls short of its ambitious goals, ultimately becoming a disappointing echo of greater works like Radiation’s Halloween Hack. The game's attempt to subvert traditional gaming tropes is hampered by players' ability to exploit loopholes, undermining its message. Although Undertale features unique mechanics and memorable characters, it fails to deliver a truly impactful experience, suffering from pacing issues and a lack of narrative depth. Toby Fox's efforts to craft a meaningful narrative are overshadowed by the game's pretentiousness and unfulfilled potential.
Score: 5/10
Score: 5/10
Emerald...Splash. Here I am, standing on the precipice of an alternate reality – one where the martial art of Stand-fighting reigns supreme. It all began when we introduced someone who knows karate into the fray, but little did we know, it was the catalyst for an epic transformation.
So, picture this – I've spent years mastering my Stand, Hierophant Green. But one day, something changed. A new contender arrived on the scene, a so-called "Gun Girl." She was packing heat, and not just any heat – it was a barrage of bullets. I watched in awe as she unleashed a relentless combination of Dash Attack -> Shoot -> Dash Attack -> Shoot -> Dash Attack -> Reload.
It was like watching a new form of Stand-fighting, where gunplay and martial arts clashed. And the world was transformed. We all began to realize that our decades of mastering karate were in vain. It wasn't about who could throw the most precise punch anymore; it was about firepower and precision, guns taking the upper hand.
Banks, once thought to be impenetrable fortresses, were now facing an entirely new threat – armed robberies on a massive scale. No more "Ora Ora Ora" – it was all "Brrrrrrrrrrrr." The world's economy plunged into uncertainty, and those who once made a living from karate dojos had to reinvent themselves as gunsmiths.
The most significant loss in this transformation? The United States. A country renowned for its karate abilities, one with the most powerful military, suddenly had to abandon its martial prowess. They tried karate nukes, but even those couldn't stand against the power of firearms. America, once a titan, was reduced to a shadow of its former self, its economy losing trillions of enkidollars.
On the other side of this alternate reality, the Japanese stood resolute, holding onto their gun culture. They remained loyal to their weapons and swiftly adapted to the new era. Even after facing numerous karate nukes from America, they persevered, transforming into the world's most powerful military.
And amid this chaos, there was a curious moment. Neco-Arc, that mischievous character from the Type-Moon universe, couldn't help but celebrate the insanity of it all with her whimsical dance, as if to say, "This is a world where anything goes."
And thus,, I witnessed the transformation of a world where karate once reigned supreme into a place where gunplay took over. An alternate reality I never thought I'd see. It's like a Stand battle where the rules have been completely rewritten. So, prepare yourself, for this is an adventure that will have you training for another 200 years if you want to make sense of it all.
Score: 9/10
![Under Night In-Birth Exe:Late[cl-r]](https://images.igdb.com/igdb/image/upload/t_cover_big/co25f8.jpg)
So, picture this – I've spent years mastering my Stand, Hierophant Green. But one day, something changed. A new contender arrived on the scene, a so-called "Gun Girl." She was packing heat, and not just any heat – it was a barrage of bullets. I watched in awe as she unleashed a relentless combination of Dash Attack -> Shoot -> Dash Attack -> Shoot -> Dash Attack -> Reload.
It was like watching a new form of Stand-fighting, where gunplay and martial arts clashed. And the world was transformed. We all began to realize that our decades of mastering karate were in vain. It wasn't about who could throw the most precise punch anymore; it was about firepower and precision, guns taking the upper hand.
Banks, once thought to be impenetrable fortresses, were now facing an entirely new threat – armed robberies on a massive scale. No more "Ora Ora Ora" – it was all "Brrrrrrrrrrrr." The world's economy plunged into uncertainty, and those who once made a living from karate dojos had to reinvent themselves as gunsmiths.
The most significant loss in this transformation? The United States. A country renowned for its karate abilities, one with the most powerful military, suddenly had to abandon its martial prowess. They tried karate nukes, but even those couldn't stand against the power of firearms. America, once a titan, was reduced to a shadow of its former self, its economy losing trillions of enkidollars.
On the other side of this alternate reality, the Japanese stood resolute, holding onto their gun culture. They remained loyal to their weapons and swiftly adapted to the new era. Even after facing numerous karate nukes from America, they persevered, transforming into the world's most powerful military.
And amid this chaos, there was a curious moment. Neco-Arc, that mischievous character from the Type-Moon universe, couldn't help but celebrate the insanity of it all with her whimsical dance, as if to say, "This is a world where anything goes."
And thus,, I witnessed the transformation of a world where karate once reigned supreme into a place where gunplay took over. An alternate reality I never thought I'd see. It's like a Stand battle where the rules have been completely rewritten. So, prepare yourself, for this is an adventure that will have you training for another 200 years if you want to make sense of it all.
Score: 9/10
Now, imagine if Ultimate Duck Hunting had an unexpected twist, a mid-game transformation that turned your serene duck hunt into a chaotic game of Among Us. Accusations flying faster than shotgun pellets, suspicion building with every quack, and alliances forming and breaking like the fragile alliances in the classic social deduction game. It's a missed opportunity that could have elevated this snoozefest to meme-worthy glory. But alas, we're stuck in a duck-centric purgatory with no impostors in sight. The potential for a hilarious crossover boosts the score a smidge to 3/10.
Ultimate Custom Night, or as I like to call it, "fnaf no way home xdxdxdxdxd," delves into the realm of impossibility, earning its nickname as the "Impossiblegame." Play this, and if a psychoanalyst watches your eye movements, they might just diagnose you as schizophrenic. But hey, it's fun to play, man! The chaotic animatronic mayhem and customizable options make it an experience worth diving into. Forget the traditional scoring; let's throw a wild 9 out of 10 for the sheer thrill and unpredictability this game brings to the table.
I LOVE Tsukihime
Tsukihime is a masterpiece in visual novel storytelling, captivating players with its dark and immersive narrative. Released in December 2000 by Type-Moon, this game takes players on a journey through the supernatural, following the protagonist Shiki Tohno as he grapples with his newfound ability to see "death lines" and the consequences of his actions.
The world of Tsukihime is richly detailed, with intricate lore and captivating characters that draw players in from the start. Each decision made by the player shapes the outcome of the story, leading to multiple branching paths and endings to explore. The game's atmospheric soundtrack sets the mood perfectly, enhancing the emotional impact of key moments throughout the narrative.
Tsukihime isn't afraid to delve into mature themes, including explicit content depicted in NSFW CGs. These scenes, while controversial, add depth to the story and character development, showcasing the game's willingness to push boundaries and challenge players' expectations.
Additionally, the inclusion of NSFW CGs are a form of revenge for spoilers, such as Shirou Emiya's death, this adds an intriguing layer to the game's mechanics. This mechanic allows players to engage with the story in a unique way, using explicit content as a means of retaliation for spoiling the game's narrative framework.
Overall, Tsukihime is a must-play visual novel for fans of the genre. Its gripping story, memorable characters, stunning artwork, and innovative gameplay mechanics make it a standout title that continues to captivate players even years after its initial release.
Score: 9.5/10
Tsukihime is a masterpiece in visual novel storytelling, captivating players with its dark and immersive narrative. Released in December 2000 by Type-Moon, this game takes players on a journey through the supernatural, following the protagonist Shiki Tohno as he grapples with his newfound ability to see "death lines" and the consequences of his actions.
The world of Tsukihime is richly detailed, with intricate lore and captivating characters that draw players in from the start. Each decision made by the player shapes the outcome of the story, leading to multiple branching paths and endings to explore. The game's atmospheric soundtrack sets the mood perfectly, enhancing the emotional impact of key moments throughout the narrative.
Tsukihime isn't afraid to delve into mature themes, including explicit content depicted in NSFW CGs. These scenes, while controversial, add depth to the story and character development, showcasing the game's willingness to push boundaries and challenge players' expectations.
Additionally, the inclusion of NSFW CGs are a form of revenge for spoilers, such as Shirou Emiya's death, this adds an intriguing layer to the game's mechanics. This mechanic allows players to engage with the story in a unique way, using explicit content as a means of retaliation for spoiling the game's narrative framework.
Overall, Tsukihime is a must-play visual novel for fans of the genre. Its gripping story, memorable characters, stunning artwork, and innovative gameplay mechanics make it a standout title that continues to captivate players even years after its initial release.
Score: 9.5/10
Toy Story Mania! is a disappointing entry in the Disney game lineup, failing to capture the essence of the beloved franchise. The lack of bass-boosted cutscenes and obnoxious voice lines is a major letdown, as these elements are often key components of the Toy Story experience. While the mini-games are somewhat enjoyable, they fail to make up for the overall lackluster presentation. In a sea of Disney games, Toy Story Mania! struggles to stand out, earning it a low score.
Score: 3/10
Score: 3/10
Heyyyyyyy Buuuuzzzzzzz! If you ever wanted to experience a game that's more confusing than Madman Mackola's M&M adventure, this is it. Toy Story 2: Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue! is like watching a movie on fast forward while riding a roller coaster through a construction site. It's a game that leaves you questioning your sanity as you attempt to control Buzz through a world that makes less sense than a WarioWare mini-game.
From the moment you start, you'll be bombarded with movie clips, but don't expect to enjoy the iconic scenes. Instead, they're blasted at you with bass that's cranked to 11, leaving you to wonder why you can't simply hear the characters speak. Every scene feels as if it's been ripped out of context, much like trying to follow Madman Mackola's logic in a review.
As Buzz, you'll attempt to rescue Woody, but the controls are so atrocious that you'll feel like you're wading through knee-deep gravy. It's a platforming nightmare that even 4-year-old you found traumatizing. This game manages to control worse than some of the shoddiest racing games out there, making you question how it expects you to do any platforming at all.
In the end, Toy Story 2: Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue! leaves you scarred, just like the cutscenes that are so bass-boosted and compressed that you can barely make out what's being said. It's a game that will have you longing for the simplicity of a McDonald's manager's decision-making process.
Score: 2/10
From the moment you start, you'll be bombarded with movie clips, but don't expect to enjoy the iconic scenes. Instead, they're blasted at you with bass that's cranked to 11, leaving you to wonder why you can't simply hear the characters speak. Every scene feels as if it's been ripped out of context, much like trying to follow Madman Mackola's logic in a review.
As Buzz, you'll attempt to rescue Woody, but the controls are so atrocious that you'll feel like you're wading through knee-deep gravy. It's a platforming nightmare that even 4-year-old you found traumatizing. This game manages to control worse than some of the shoddiest racing games out there, making you question how it expects you to do any platforming at all.
In the end, Toy Story 2: Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue! leaves you scarred, just like the cutscenes that are so bass-boosted and compressed that you can barely make out what's being said. It's a game that will have you longing for the simplicity of a McDonald's manager's decision-making process.
Score: 2/10
TowerFall Ascension, a game that defies the odds, turns out to be a decent surprise, contradicting initial expectations of falling into the abyss of nightmarish shovelware. The inclusion of homing arrows and drill arrows, while cheap, contributes to the thrill, akin to the chaos induced by TF2's notorious aimbot snipers. It's a game that caught me off guard, and in the ever-evolving landscape of gaming, TowerFall Ascension stands as a testament to the unpredictable gems one can stumble upon. Score: 8/10.
Touhou Genso Rondo: Bullet Ballet to the Rescue! is a mesmerizing whirlwind of anime girls and bullet hell chaos, where distinguishing the game's visuals, mechanics, and performance becomes a heroic quest amidst the relentless spam. Whether you pick an anime girl to main is a moot point; they all blend into a vibrant barrage of projectiles. Weebs, brace yourselves for an experience that could make even xqc twitch with a hint of envy.
Score: 5/10
Score: 5/10
The perfect game for those brave enough to navigate the mind-boggling realm of Totally Accurate Battlegrounds, a $2 budget turd that defies the conventions of sanity. It attracts a unique crowd of mentally challenged gamers who reject mainstream titles, proclaiming Fortnight as for losers while indulging in the barren wasteland of low-budget knockoffs. Xx_SEMEN_DEMON_xX, the legendary player, haunts the game, ensuring your torment doesn't end even on backloggd. Brace yourself for the chaos as you plunge into this shovelware abyss, praying that JESUS JESUS JAPANESUS intervenes to save your soul. Score: 4/10.
Tekken 7, the latest installment in the iconic fighting game series, brings together a colorful cast of characters to engage in intense battles that span both martial arts and martial styles. The game introduces us to the epic rivalry of "EEEEEHHHHH!" and Slap Bear, a feud that has captured the attention of players worldwide.
At its core, Tekken 7 delivers the thrilling gameplay the series is known for, with its fast-paced combat and diverse move sets. The roster is rich with unique fighters, each representing their own fighting style and personality. From the gravity-defying moves of "EEEEEHHHHH!" to the hard-hitting antics of Slap Bear, every character brings a distinct flavor to the battles.
The rivalry between "EEEEEHHHHH!" and Slap Bear stands out as a highlight, showcasing the clash between traditional martial arts and unconventional brawling. The amusing banter and fierce competition between these two rivals add a layer of entertainment that goes beyond the combat itself.
The addition of Neko-chan, the enigmatic E-Girl, adds an intriguing twist to the game, albeit accompanied by the inevitable online discussions surrounding her. Her unique abilities and playstyle offer a fresh perspective on the battles, appealing to players looking for something unconventional.
The inclusion of paid DLC characters like the Hot Topic Final Fantasy boy and Enkidu's daughter may raise some eyebrows, but they contribute to the game's diversity and the ever-evolving roster. While Enkidu's daughter may not have learned karate from her pops, she still brings her own style to the ring, even if it doesn't align with traditional karate techniques.
Graphically, Tekken 7 maintains the series' standard of excellence, with detailed character models and dynamic environments that enhance the immersive experience. The fighting mechanics are solid and responsive, allowing both newcomers and veterans to enjoy the gameplay and experiment with different strategies.
However, there are instances where the repetitive nature of certain moves, like "DOING THE SAME ATTACK 15 TIMES," can become a point of contention. While this can be seen as part of the game's strategy, it may also lead to frustrating encounters, particularly in competitive settings.
In conclusion, Tekken 7 offers an exciting continuation of the franchise, delivering a diverse roster, engaging battles, and memorable rivalries. The clashes between martial arts and martial styles bring a unique flavor to the game, and while the inclusion of certain DLC characters might raise some questions, they contribute to the game's variety. With its eye-catching visuals, entertaining character dynamics, and engaging combat, Tekken 7 secures its place as a strong contender in the world of fighting games.
Score: 8/10
At its core, Tekken 7 delivers the thrilling gameplay the series is known for, with its fast-paced combat and diverse move sets. The roster is rich with unique fighters, each representing their own fighting style and personality. From the gravity-defying moves of "EEEEEHHHHH!" to the hard-hitting antics of Slap Bear, every character brings a distinct flavor to the battles.
The rivalry between "EEEEEHHHHH!" and Slap Bear stands out as a highlight, showcasing the clash between traditional martial arts and unconventional brawling. The amusing banter and fierce competition between these two rivals add a layer of entertainment that goes beyond the combat itself.
The addition of Neko-chan, the enigmatic E-Girl, adds an intriguing twist to the game, albeit accompanied by the inevitable online discussions surrounding her. Her unique abilities and playstyle offer a fresh perspective on the battles, appealing to players looking for something unconventional.
The inclusion of paid DLC characters like the Hot Topic Final Fantasy boy and Enkidu's daughter may raise some eyebrows, but they contribute to the game's diversity and the ever-evolving roster. While Enkidu's daughter may not have learned karate from her pops, she still brings her own style to the ring, even if it doesn't align with traditional karate techniques.
Graphically, Tekken 7 maintains the series' standard of excellence, with detailed character models and dynamic environments that enhance the immersive experience. The fighting mechanics are solid and responsive, allowing both newcomers and veterans to enjoy the gameplay and experiment with different strategies.
However, there are instances where the repetitive nature of certain moves, like "DOING THE SAME ATTACK 15 TIMES," can become a point of contention. While this can be seen as part of the game's strategy, it may also lead to frustrating encounters, particularly in competitive settings.
In conclusion, Tekken 7 offers an exciting continuation of the franchise, delivering a diverse roster, engaging battles, and memorable rivalries. The clashes between martial arts and martial styles bring a unique flavor to the game, and while the inclusion of certain DLC characters might raise some questions, they contribute to the game's variety. With its eye-catching visuals, entertaining character dynamics, and engaging combat, Tekken 7 secures its place as a strong contender in the world of fighting games.
Score: 8/10
Tekken 2: Oh, let me tell you, Tekken 2 is the epitome of perfection. Who cares if the multiplayer didn't work? It's a solo masterpiece! Three-second matches are a blessing, showcasing the efficiency of finding the karate expert and unleashing chaos on your controller. The sheer brilliance of this game, combined with its unparalleled depth, demands an infinite score. Karate propaganda? More like karate paradise! Tekken 2 transcends numerical ratings; it's a divine experience in the realm of DAN.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-Up, or should I say "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Karate Clash," is a catastrophic cacophony of chaos that dares to trample on the delicate sensibilities of fighting game aficionados. This wretched abomination of a title commits the unforgivable sin of introducing Master Splinter, the one character who possesses the hallowed knowledge of karate. Yes, dear reader, you heard that correctly — karate! It's as if the developers never grasped the fundamental tenets of competitive combat within the realms of pixelated pugilism!
In the vast pantheon of fighting games, the cardinal rule dictates that no character should hold an unfair advantage, especially in the realm of martial arts mastery. Yet, in their profound wisdom, the creators of this calamity saw fit to bestow Master Splinter with this unholy power. Did they not comprehend that this sacrilege would render all other fighters mere mortals in the presence of a karate-kicking rodent?
It is a regrettable state of affairs when the most memorable aspect of a fighting game is the blatant disregard for the art of balanced combat. While the heroes in a half-shell may hold a cherished place in our hearts, their venture into the fighting game arena reeks of amateur design and an ignorance of the martial arts metagame.
In my humble estimation, I bestow upon this travesty a resounding 1 out of 10, for it has flouted the very essence of fair competition, leaving only a foul taste of missed potential in its wake.
In the vast pantheon of fighting games, the cardinal rule dictates that no character should hold an unfair advantage, especially in the realm of martial arts mastery. Yet, in their profound wisdom, the creators of this calamity saw fit to bestow Master Splinter with this unholy power. Did they not comprehend that this sacrilege would render all other fighters mere mortals in the presence of a karate-kicking rodent?
It is a regrettable state of affairs when the most memorable aspect of a fighting game is the blatant disregard for the art of balanced combat. While the heroes in a half-shell may hold a cherished place in our hearts, their venture into the fighting game arena reeks of amateur design and an ignorance of the martial arts metagame.
In my humble estimation, I bestow upon this travesty a resounding 1 out of 10, for it has flouted the very essence of fair competition, leaving only a foul taste of missed potential in its wake.
Team Fortress 2, a game that has garnered a dedicated following over the years, finds itself in a unique position within the gaming landscape. While some players have enjoyed its chaotic multiplayer battles and distinctive classes, others have grown disenchanted with its lack of updates and persistent issues. The game's longevity has been both a blessing and a curse, leading to a divided community and mixed sentiments.
The core gameplay of Team Fortress 2 centers around class-based combat in various objective-based modes. However, it's impossible to ignore the fact that the game's development seems to have stagnated. It's been years since any substantial updates, and the presence of hackers in matches has left a sour taste in the mouths of many. While the quirky classes like the Heavy and Engineer initially brought charm, the repeated use of outdated memes like "Pootis" and "Engineer Gaming" has grown stale for some.
Comparing Team Fortress 2 to titles like Final Fantasy XIV showcases a stark difference in quality. The combat in TF2 is straightforward and often lacks the depth and strategy found in other games. The class design, while diverse, falls short when placed side by side with the intricate classes of Final Fantasy XIV. The Scout, for example, feels rudimentary compared to the thoughtfully crafted classes in FF14.
Community dynamics also play a role in shaping the experience. Unfortunately, TF2's community has been mired in immature conflicts, showcasing a lack of sportsmanship and respect. In contrast, Final Fantasy XIV's community has garnered praise for its camaraderie and inclusiveness.
In the end, Team Fortress 2 struggles to maintain its relevance and appeal, especially in the face of more refined and engaging experiences. Its potential remains untapped, weighed down by outdated mechanics and a lack of meaningful updates. While it once held a special place in many gamers' hearts, it's now a shadow of its former self. Rating: 6.2/10
The core gameplay of Team Fortress 2 centers around class-based combat in various objective-based modes. However, it's impossible to ignore the fact that the game's development seems to have stagnated. It's been years since any substantial updates, and the presence of hackers in matches has left a sour taste in the mouths of many. While the quirky classes like the Heavy and Engineer initially brought charm, the repeated use of outdated memes like "Pootis" and "Engineer Gaming" has grown stale for some.
Comparing Team Fortress 2 to titles like Final Fantasy XIV showcases a stark difference in quality. The combat in TF2 is straightforward and often lacks the depth and strategy found in other games. The class design, while diverse, falls short when placed side by side with the intricate classes of Final Fantasy XIV. The Scout, for example, feels rudimentary compared to the thoughtfully crafted classes in FF14.
Community dynamics also play a role in shaping the experience. Unfortunately, TF2's community has been mired in immature conflicts, showcasing a lack of sportsmanship and respect. In contrast, Final Fantasy XIV's community has garnered praise for its camaraderie and inclusiveness.
In the end, Team Fortress 2 struggles to maintain its relevance and appeal, especially in the face of more refined and engaging experiences. Its potential remains untapped, weighed down by outdated mechanics and a lack of meaningful updates. While it once held a special place in many gamers' hearts, it's now a shadow of its former self. Rating: 6.2/10
Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, the ultimate gatekeeper of gaming achievements. This game's existence seems solely to check whether you've conquered the gaming realm. If you've never beaten a Pokémon game but claim to be a Smash enthusiast, you might find yourself exiled. The character roster is a parade of gaming icons, each fighter a living testament to their gaming legacy.
The reason for this game's existence? It's not just to brawl; it's to measure your gaming mettle. From Mario's exploits in Super Mario 64 DS to Sonic's adventures in Sonic Adventure 2: Battle, each character embodies gaming history. And if you haven't conquered the source games of certain characters, well, Smash Bros might not be for you. It's more than a game; it's a reckoning of your gaming conquests.
Score: 9.5/10
The reason for this game's existence? It's not just to brawl; it's to measure your gaming mettle. From Mario's exploits in Super Mario 64 DS to Sonic's adventures in Sonic Adventure 2: Battle, each character embodies gaming history. And if you haven't conquered the source games of certain characters, well, Smash Bros might not be for you. It's more than a game; it's a reckoning of your gaming conquests.
Score: 9.5/10
Super Smash Bros. Melee, oh man, it's a wild ride of wavedashing, L-canceling, and the infamous Eskimo Entanglement. If you don't know how to perform the Koopabackdashwaveslide Hoverwalkmoonland, you might want to hit up this wiki page for a crash course: https://unanything.fandom.com/wiki/Koopabackdashwaveslide_Hoverwalkmoonland. The game is like a symphony of chaotic moves, and if you're not into that, well, tough luck.
It's not just a game; it's a lifestyle. The competitive scene might seem like obnoxious man children screaming over glitches, but it's an art form, a dance of pixels and precision. If you're in for a glitchy mess and the thrill of mastering absurdly complex moves, then Super Smash Bros. Melee is the game for you.
Score: 8.5/10
It's not just a game; it's a lifestyle. The competitive scene might seem like obnoxious man children screaming over glitches, but it's an art form, a dance of pixels and precision. If you're in for a glitchy mess and the thrill of mastering absurdly complex moves, then Super Smash Bros. Melee is the game for you.
Score: 8.5/10
Super Smash Bros. for Wii U is a rollercoaster of disappointment, with Smash Tour dragging it into the depths of gaming hell. The mockery of the game declaring you a winner despite losses adds a sarcastic charm. The "Wii U" in the title should make it obvious what the quality of this game will be but don't worry, the 3DS version's Smash Run is worth a place in the hall of shame as well. While the core gameplay is there, the overall package is pretty shit. However, there's a glimmer of dark joy in trolling friends by picking Pac-Land, ensuring epic looks on their faces. The game, a chaotic mess, deserves a darkly humorous 5 out of 10 for the sheer absurdity it brings to the Smash Bros. universe.
If I were to reimagine Super Smash Bros. Brawl and make it truly epic, it would deserve a 20 out of 10! Let's dive into the idea of Fate in Smash, shall we?
Imagine this: the roster includes all your favorite video game characters, not just Nintendo's all-stars. You've got the Fate series' heroes and villains, with Saber, Archer, and Rider duking it out alongside Mario and Sonic. Each character comes with their unique Noble Phantasm or Super Smash ability, adding a whole new level of strategy and excitement to the battles.
The stages would transport you to iconic locations from the Fate series, with epic backdrops and shifting environments. Plus, there'd be an engaging story mode that combines the thrilling narratives of Fate with the chaotic multiverse of Smash. Players would embark on a quest that could rival the Subspace Emissary's charm.
In this ultimate version of Smash Brawl, the battles wouldn't be marred by awkward tripping mechanics or overly floaty jumps. They'd be intense, fast-paced, and highly competitive. The game would keep you hooked for hours on end, providing endless enjoyment for both casual players and esports enthusiasts.
While this is just a dream, it's a testament to the potential that Super Smash Bros. Brawl had. If only it had embraced some of these ideas, it could have been a truly legendary game.
For Super Smash Bros. Brawl, I would give the real game a score of 7 out of 10. While it had its share of issues, including slower gameplay and the controversial tripping mechanic, it still provided an enjoyable experience with its extensive character roster and exciting battles. The addition of new characters like Sonic and Solid Snake, as well as the Subspace Emissary adventure mode, added value to the game. It remained a popular choice for multiplayer brawls and party gaming.
Imagine this: the roster includes all your favorite video game characters, not just Nintendo's all-stars. You've got the Fate series' heroes and villains, with Saber, Archer, and Rider duking it out alongside Mario and Sonic. Each character comes with their unique Noble Phantasm or Super Smash ability, adding a whole new level of strategy and excitement to the battles.
The stages would transport you to iconic locations from the Fate series, with epic backdrops and shifting environments. Plus, there'd be an engaging story mode that combines the thrilling narratives of Fate with the chaotic multiverse of Smash. Players would embark on a quest that could rival the Subspace Emissary's charm.
In this ultimate version of Smash Brawl, the battles wouldn't be marred by awkward tripping mechanics or overly floaty jumps. They'd be intense, fast-paced, and highly competitive. The game would keep you hooked for hours on end, providing endless enjoyment for both casual players and esports enthusiasts.
While this is just a dream, it's a testament to the potential that Super Smash Bros. Brawl had. If only it had embraced some of these ideas, it could have been a truly legendary game.
For Super Smash Bros. Brawl, I would give the real game a score of 7 out of 10. While it had its share of issues, including slower gameplay and the controversial tripping mechanic, it still provided an enjoyable experience with its extensive character roster and exciting battles. The addition of new characters like Sonic and Solid Snake, as well as the Subspace Emissary adventure mode, added value to the game. It remained a popular choice for multiplayer brawls and party gaming.
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Score: 2/10
Score: 2/10
While Super Mario Maker 2 may not quite live up to the masterpieces created in other games like TF2, it still offers an impressive and creative canvas for Mario fans to express themselves.
This game is all about giving players the tools to craft their own Mario levels, and it excels in this regard. The level editor is robust and user-friendly, allowing both newcomers and experienced designers to bring their ideas to life. Whether you want to build a challenging platforming gauntlet or a whimsical, puzzle-filled adventure, Super Mario Maker 2 provides the tools to do so.
The variety of assets and themes from the Mario universe is staggering, ensuring that your creations can span different games and styles. From classic Super Mario Bros. to the modern Super Mario 3D World, there's something for everyone. Experimenting with different elements and enemy behaviors is part of the fun, and the game encourages creativity at every turn.
The online community and sharing aspect of Super Mario Maker 2 add another layer of enjoyment. Playing other players' levels and challenging your skills against a wide array of creations keeps the experience fresh and exciting. However, the quality of user-generated content can be a mixed bag, and you may have to sift through some less-than-stellar levels to find the true gems.
That said, the game's biggest downside is the absence of a true story or campaign mode. While the focus is on user-generated content, a curated single-player experience could have added depth and longevity to the game.
In conclusion, Super Mario Maker 2 is a fantastic tool for unleashing your inner game designer and creating Mario levels that you can be proud of. It may not surpass the excellence of other gaming masterpieces, but it certainly provides an enjoyable and creative outlet for Mario enthusiasts. With a thriving community and endless possibilities, it's a must-have for fans of the plumber in red.
Score: 7/10
This game is all about giving players the tools to craft their own Mario levels, and it excels in this regard. The level editor is robust and user-friendly, allowing both newcomers and experienced designers to bring their ideas to life. Whether you want to build a challenging platforming gauntlet or a whimsical, puzzle-filled adventure, Super Mario Maker 2 provides the tools to do so.
The variety of assets and themes from the Mario universe is staggering, ensuring that your creations can span different games and styles. From classic Super Mario Bros. to the modern Super Mario 3D World, there's something for everyone. Experimenting with different elements and enemy behaviors is part of the fun, and the game encourages creativity at every turn.
The online community and sharing aspect of Super Mario Maker 2 add another layer of enjoyment. Playing other players' levels and challenging your skills against a wide array of creations keeps the experience fresh and exciting. However, the quality of user-generated content can be a mixed bag, and you may have to sift through some less-than-stellar levels to find the true gems.
That said, the game's biggest downside is the absence of a true story or campaign mode. While the focus is on user-generated content, a curated single-player experience could have added depth and longevity to the game.
In conclusion, Super Mario Maker 2 is a fantastic tool for unleashing your inner game designer and creating Mario levels that you can be proud of. It may not surpass the excellence of other gaming masterpieces, but it certainly provides an enjoyable and creative outlet for Mario enthusiasts. With a thriving community and endless possibilities, it's a must-have for fans of the plumber in red.
Score: 7/10
Super Mario Bros. Wonder is the epitome of mediocrity. The franchise, which has been around for ages, still panders to a young audience with talking flowers and friendly, non-challenging gameplay. Why won't the developers give us an edgier Mario game, one where he swears and indulges in mushrooms like an unapologetic rebel? It's frustrating that the creators miss the mark when it comes to understanding what the older fans truly desire. This game could be so much more, but it feels like a missed opportunity. 2 out of 10 because it's not what the true fans crave.
And yes, it's worth mentioning that this game was developed by a 12-year-old, which is impressive given the circumstances. It's a testament to the potential of young talent in the gaming industry.
And yes, it's worth mentioning that this game was developed by a 12-year-old, which is impressive given the circumstances. It's a testament to the potential of young talent in the gaming industry.
Now, if only Nintendo would get on board with the unconventional power-up ideas. Picture this: Mario dons a Weezer-themed suit, complete with a Rivers Cuomo hat and a guitar that can defeat enemies with sonic waves. It's a missed opportunity for synergy, Nintendo. And let's not forget the Lovejoy or Demondice power-ups, each with their unique pros and cons. But if you really want to challenge yourself, switch to Tom MacDonald mode, where you're restricted to goomba-killing duty and prohibited from taking down those pesky boo's. It's a weird world, but in the end, Mario prevails. 7/10.
SuperHot VR is a mind-bending trip into the world of virtual reality, where time only moves when you do. It's like being Neo in The Matrix, except you're actually just standing in your living room waving your arms around. The game's unique mechanic adds a new layer of strategy to the FPS genre, forcing players to think and act quickly to survive. The minimalist art style and immersive gameplay make it a must-play for VR enthusiasts. Just be warned, if you're colorblind like my duck, you might have some trouble with the game's color-based puzzles. But overall, SuperHot VR is a game that's sure to get your heart racing and your adrenaline pumping.
Score: 9/10
Score: 9/10
Welcome to the sun-soaked shores of Summer Sports: Paradise Island, where sports take a vacation from rules and logic! Get ready for a sporting experience like no other, where even the absurd becomes a cherished part of the game. Whether you're a seasoned gamer or a casual player looking for some wacky fun, this game offers a quirky take on sports that's sure to entertain.
Diving headfirst into the action, you'll find yourself mastering the art of #2 Sarah on Easter Island – an icon in her own right. But beware, for the community's rallying cry for a Sanchez nerf can't be ignored. The mighty Sanchez has earned a reputation as a virtual powerhouse, and players everywhere are clamoring for a more balanced experience. Basketballs, the heart and soul of this game, have received so much love that they even make an encore appearance. Despite their popularity, their mechanics can sometimes make you reconsider your life choices. And let's not forget volleyball, a seemingly innocent alternative that quickly proves to be an equally challenging venture, taking the concept of 'playing like ass' to a new level.
In this virtual paradise, waggling is the name of the game, and rules? They're just a distant memory. But therein lies the charm of Summer Sports: Paradise Island – it's a haven where fun is the only rule that matters. Are you ready to take a leap of faith? Who needs realistic physics when you can make a game all your own? And with the unexpected patch notes, version 3.13 ushers in a new era of tweaked mechanics. Sarah's once all-powerful shots have been humbled, and the anticipation before each ball release has reached thrilling levels. Meanwhile, Sanchez's running prowess receives a fitting boost, giving players a newfound sense of speed and exhilaration. And let's not forget the rebranding of Trevor to the more mundane "Bill" – a choice that has surely rocked the very foundation of the Summer Sports world.
So, my fellow virtual islanders, step into this unconventional world of sports and let go of expectations. Summer Sports: Paradise Island embraces the chaotic beauty of gameplay, bringing joy, frustration, and lots of laughter along the way. It's not about perfect mechanics; it's about embracing the absurd and experiencing paradise, one waggling motion at a time.
Score: 6.5/10
Diving headfirst into the action, you'll find yourself mastering the art of #2 Sarah on Easter Island – an icon in her own right. But beware, for the community's rallying cry for a Sanchez nerf can't be ignored. The mighty Sanchez has earned a reputation as a virtual powerhouse, and players everywhere are clamoring for a more balanced experience. Basketballs, the heart and soul of this game, have received so much love that they even make an encore appearance. Despite their popularity, their mechanics can sometimes make you reconsider your life choices. And let's not forget volleyball, a seemingly innocent alternative that quickly proves to be an equally challenging venture, taking the concept of 'playing like ass' to a new level.
In this virtual paradise, waggling is the name of the game, and rules? They're just a distant memory. But therein lies the charm of Summer Sports: Paradise Island – it's a haven where fun is the only rule that matters. Are you ready to take a leap of faith? Who needs realistic physics when you can make a game all your own? And with the unexpected patch notes, version 3.13 ushers in a new era of tweaked mechanics. Sarah's once all-powerful shots have been humbled, and the anticipation before each ball release has reached thrilling levels. Meanwhile, Sanchez's running prowess receives a fitting boost, giving players a newfound sense of speed and exhilaration. And let's not forget the rebranding of Trevor to the more mundane "Bill" – a choice that has surely rocked the very foundation of the Summer Sports world.
So, my fellow virtual islanders, step into this unconventional world of sports and let go of expectations. Summer Sports: Paradise Island embraces the chaotic beauty of gameplay, bringing joy, frustration, and lots of laughter along the way. It's not about perfect mechanics; it's about embracing the absurd and experiencing paradise, one waggling motion at a time.
Score: 6.5/10
"I FUCKING LOVE STUMBLE GUYS!!!
context: I'm absolutely hooked on Stumble Guys! It's the kind of game that gets my heart racing and my adrenaline pumping. Whether I'm dodging obstacles or racing to the finish line, I can't get enough of the action-packed gameplay.
I SWEAR I'M NOT GAY. I JUST LOVE THIS GAME.
edit: Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but seriously, Stumble Guys is addictive. The more I play, the more I realize just how much fun it is. So, excuse me while I go back to stumbling my way to victory!"
Score: 9/10
context: I'm absolutely hooked on Stumble Guys! It's the kind of game that gets my heart racing and my adrenaline pumping. Whether I'm dodging obstacles or racing to the finish line, I can't get enough of the action-packed gameplay.
I SWEAR I'M NOT GAY. I JUST LOVE THIS GAME.
edit: Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but seriously, Stumble Guys is addictive. The more I play, the more I realize just how much fun it is. So, excuse me while I go back to stumbling my way to victory!"
Score: 9/10
First things first, let's address the elephant in the room - Street Fighter 6 has just released June 2nd 2023, and that alone might be enough to dissuade you from investing too much time or money into Street Fighter V. The promise of new characters, gameplay mechanics, and an overall improved experience is tempting.
Now, about Street Fighter V itself. This game has had its ups and downs since its initial release, with several updates and enhancements attempting to correct its course. It's important to note that, while not perfect, the game has come a long way and offers an enjoyable Street Fighter experience.
The roster is extensive, featuring a variety of characters with unique playstyles. The graphics are crisp, the animations are fluid, and the sound design is spot on. The core gameplay mechanics remain true to the series' roots, making it accessible for newcomers and still engaging for longtime fans.
However, some issues persist. The initial release was criticized for its lack of single-player content and some technical problems. While many of these issues have been addressed over time, the game's reputation was marred. Additionally, the monetization model includes various character passes and costumes, which may not sit well with all players.
The game is undoubtedly fun and can be appreciated by fans of the franchise and fighting game enthusiasts, but its somewhat rocky history and the release of Street Fighter 6 give some pause. For now, Street Fighter V deserves a respectable 7 out of 10. However, be ready to reassess your score after delving into its successor.
Now, about Street Fighter V itself. This game has had its ups and downs since its initial release, with several updates and enhancements attempting to correct its course. It's important to note that, while not perfect, the game has come a long way and offers an enjoyable Street Fighter experience.
The roster is extensive, featuring a variety of characters with unique playstyles. The graphics are crisp, the animations are fluid, and the sound design is spot on. The core gameplay mechanics remain true to the series' roots, making it accessible for newcomers and still engaging for longtime fans.
However, some issues persist. The initial release was criticized for its lack of single-player content and some technical problems. While many of these issues have been addressed over time, the game's reputation was marred. Additionally, the monetization model includes various character passes and costumes, which may not sit well with all players.
The game is undoubtedly fun and can be appreciated by fans of the franchise and fighting game enthusiasts, but its somewhat rocky history and the release of Street Fighter 6 give some pause. For now, Street Fighter V deserves a respectable 7 out of 10. However, be ready to reassess your score after delving into its successor.
StarCraft: Brood War, a game etched in my childhood, was briefly revisited, revealing its strategic brilliance and iconic Zerg rush tactics. However, the restrictive rules on playtime prevented a more in-depth exploration. I call for a change in the selection process and a commitment to playing each game for at least one hour to add a new layer to the gaming experience. Breaking free from the constraints, I declare a MOO MOO revolution! The demand for a cow level in each game echoes the sentiment for a fresh and udderly unique gaming journey. Move over, Madman Mackola – it's a MOO MOO world now! 🐮 I hereby grant StarCraft: Brood War a hopeful 7.5 out of 10, anticipating fuller exploration in the future.
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat is a game that delivers an unforgettable experience in the desolate and hauntingly beautiful landscapes of the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone. The atmosphere is incredibly immersive, drawing you into a world where danger lurks around every corner. The Bush Arc, in particular, stands out as a highlight, offering intense and thrilling gameplay that keeps you on the edge of your seat. The storytelling is also commendable, with memorable moments that stay with you long after you've finished playing. However, there are some aspects, like the visual quality, that could use improvement. Despite this, S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat is a must-play for fans of the series and anyone looking for a gripping, atmospheric adventure.
Score: 8 out of 10
Score: 8 out of 10
Sprint Vector, like many shovelware racing games, leaves a lot to be desired in the control department. It's one of those games where you feel like you're wrestling with the controls more than actually racing. But wait, there's more! If the awkward controls weren't enough, Sprint Vector has the added bonus of inducing motion sickness. Yes, you read that right. It's like a double whammy of discomfort.
The concept might sound interesting on paper – Mario Kart in VR. However, Sprint Vector falls short of capturing the charm and excitement of the iconic Mario Kart series. Instead of delivering a thrilling and enjoyable VR racing experience, it ends up feeling like a lackluster imitation. Overall, it's a game that had potential but ultimately fails to deliver on its promises, making it a disappointing addition to the world of VR racing games.
Score: 3/10
The concept might sound interesting on paper – Mario Kart in VR. However, Sprint Vector falls short of capturing the charm and excitement of the iconic Mario Kart series. Instead of delivering a thrilling and enjoyable VR racing experience, it ends up feeling like a lackluster imitation. Overall, it's a game that had potential but ultimately fails to deliver on its promises, making it a disappointing addition to the world of VR racing games.
Score: 3/10
If you've ever wondered what it's like to take the absurdity of Five Nights at Freddy's and blend it with the whimsical world of Bikini Bottom, you've found your answer in Five Nights at Spongebob's. This is precisely the sort of game I might craft myself, should I be inclined to dive headfirst into the creative madness that is game development.
Set in the quirky realm of SpongeBob SquarePants, this fan-made game brings a surreal charm to the jump-scare formula popularized by the original Five Nights at Freddy's. As you take on the role of a night guard at the Krusty Krab, you'll soon realize that the animatronic inhabitants of this fast-food joint are even more unpredictable and mischievous than their land-dwelling counterparts.
The gameplay mechanics are all too familiar for fans of the genre. You monitor security cameras to keep tabs on SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and the rest of the Bikini Bottom gang. Your goal? Survive the night. But the quirky twist is the real appeal here. Instead of being terrified, you're more likely to find yourself grinning as you fend off the relentless antics of your underwater foes.
One of the game's shining points is its undeniable humor. It's evident that the creators poured their love for SpongeBob SquarePants into this project. From amusing character animations to clever references from the show, it's clear they were out to create a lighthearted and entertaining experience, not just another horror fest.
However, like many fan-made games, Five Nights at Spongebob's has its drawbacks. The graphics and mechanics are not on par with a professionally developed title, which is forgivable given the game's origins. The real point of concern is its limited depth; there's only so much SpongeBob-themed scare you can endure before it starts to wear thin.
In the end, Five Nights at Spongebob's is a delightful creation that offers a unique take on the "Five Nights at Freddy's" concept. While it's unlikely to dethrone the original series, it provides a fun and amusing diversion for fans of both franchises. For all its creativity and humor, I'll give this underwater adventure a 6 out of 10.
Set in the quirky realm of SpongeBob SquarePants, this fan-made game brings a surreal charm to the jump-scare formula popularized by the original Five Nights at Freddy's. As you take on the role of a night guard at the Krusty Krab, you'll soon realize that the animatronic inhabitants of this fast-food joint are even more unpredictable and mischievous than their land-dwelling counterparts.
The gameplay mechanics are all too familiar for fans of the genre. You monitor security cameras to keep tabs on SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and the rest of the Bikini Bottom gang. Your goal? Survive the night. But the quirky twist is the real appeal here. Instead of being terrified, you're more likely to find yourself grinning as you fend off the relentless antics of your underwater foes.
One of the game's shining points is its undeniable humor. It's evident that the creators poured their love for SpongeBob SquarePants into this project. From amusing character animations to clever references from the show, it's clear they were out to create a lighthearted and entertaining experience, not just another horror fest.
However, like many fan-made games, Five Nights at Spongebob's has its drawbacks. The graphics and mechanics are not on par with a professionally developed title, which is forgivable given the game's origins. The real point of concern is its limited depth; there's only so much SpongeBob-themed scare you can endure before it starts to wear thin.
In the end, Five Nights at Spongebob's is a delightful creation that offers a unique take on the "Five Nights at Freddy's" concept. While it's unlikely to dethrone the original series, it provides a fun and amusing diversion for fans of both franchises. For all its creativity and humor, I'll give this underwater adventure a 6 out of 10.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Creature From the Krusty Krab presents an unexpected challenge, with difficulty levels rivaling that of Dark Souls. While marketed as a game for children, its intricate mechanics and lack of clarity on basic controls can be frustrating. The game fails to specify simple details, such as whether "right" refers to the player's right or the game's right, leading to confusion.
One major oversight is the integration of motion controls on the Xbox Series X controller, which are never explained. This omission significantly impacts gameplay, leaving players to struggle with controls that were seemingly overlooked during development.
Despite these issues, the game offers a unique and challenging experience, ranking as the second most difficult game of all time, behind Dark Souls III. However, improvements in clarity and control explanations are necessary for future installments to cater to both casual and experienced gamers.
Score: 5/10
One major oversight is the integration of motion controls on the Xbox Series X controller, which are never explained. This omission significantly impacts gameplay, leaving players to struggle with controls that were seemingly overlooked during development.
Despite these issues, the game offers a unique and challenging experience, ranking as the second most difficult game of all time, behind Dark Souls III. However, improvements in clarity and control explanations are necessary for future installments to cater to both casual and experienced gamers.
Score: 5/10
SoulCalibur VI delivers a solid fighting experience with its weapon-based combat, but it also introduces a surprising element with the inclusion of Karate moves. Despite the game primarily focusing on weapon-based combat, the addition of Karate adds a refreshing twist to the gameplay, allowing players to mix martial arts techniques with traditional weapon attacks.
The game's decision to reset the timeline and introduce new characters like Patrokalos was met with mixed reactions, particularly from fans of Siegfried, who felt overshadowed by the new protagonist. However, this change breathes new life into the series, offering a fresh narrative direction and exciting gameplay possibilities.
Overall, SoulCalibur VI is a strong entry in the series, combining solid fighting mechanics with unexpected twists that keep the gameplay engaging and exciting.
Score: 8/10
The game's decision to reset the timeline and introduce new characters like Patrokalos was met with mixed reactions, particularly from fans of Siegfried, who felt overshadowed by the new protagonist. However, this change breathes new life into the series, offering a fresh narrative direction and exciting gameplay possibilities.
Overall, SoulCalibur VI is a strong entry in the series, combining solid fighting mechanics with unexpected twists that keep the gameplay engaging and exciting.
Score: 8/10
Sonic Shuffle, a delightful and often overlooked addition to the party game genre, brings a refreshing spin to the table with its engaging minigames and charismatic Sonic-themed charm. While undoubtedly inspired by the Mario Party formula, Sonic Shuffle manages to carve out its own identity and leaves a lasting impression on those willing to give it a chance.
The minigames within Sonic Shuffle are undeniably the stars of the show. From heart-pounding challenges like the trampoline escapade with Dr. Eggman's laser antics, to rhythm-infused moments reminiscent of Sonic's adventures, the diversity and creativity of these challenges truly shine. One standout favorite involves bouncing on a trampoline while dodging Eggman's laser onslaught, simultaneously keeping an eye on a chess game unfolding on a second screen – a surreal yet oddly captivating combination. The fusion of dexterity, strategic chess moves, and rhythm synchronization may seem bewildering at first, but once embraced, it adds a layer of engaging complexity that sets Sonic Shuffle apart.
The quirky rule where the winner of a minigame corresponds to the day of the week played, and the ingenious tiebreaker mechanism based on dental records (or vowel count!) infuses the game with an unpredictable and often hilarious competitive edge. These unique mechanics, while occasionally eyebrow-raising, undeniably add an eccentric charm that's hard to find elsewhere.
Nobuaki Kanazawa, the mastermind behind Sonic Shuffle, deserves recognition for crafting a distinctive and engaging experience. The minigames, combined with the unexpected chess integration and rhythm challenges, are nothing short of a stroke of genius, offering players an exciting and unforgettable gameplay tapestry.
However, Sonic Shuffle does have its quirks. The complexity of some minigames and rule intricacies might deter casual players, making it more appealing to those who enjoy diving deep into a game's mechanics. Additionally, the amalgamation of elements might feel overwhelming at times, especially during your initial playthrough.
In conclusion, Sonic Shuffle may not have received the spotlight it deserves, but it's an undeniable masterpiece in its own right. With its captivating minigames, quirky rule mechanics, and a fusion of gameplay elements that might seem odd at first but ultimately work together harmoniously, Sonic Shuffle provides a fresh and exciting alternative to the more well-known party game titles. It's a must-play for Sonic fans and party game enthusiasts alike, offering a unique and memorable experience that's truly one of a kind.
Score: 8.5/10
The minigames within Sonic Shuffle are undeniably the stars of the show. From heart-pounding challenges like the trampoline escapade with Dr. Eggman's laser antics, to rhythm-infused moments reminiscent of Sonic's adventures, the diversity and creativity of these challenges truly shine. One standout favorite involves bouncing on a trampoline while dodging Eggman's laser onslaught, simultaneously keeping an eye on a chess game unfolding on a second screen – a surreal yet oddly captivating combination. The fusion of dexterity, strategic chess moves, and rhythm synchronization may seem bewildering at first, but once embraced, it adds a layer of engaging complexity that sets Sonic Shuffle apart.
The quirky rule where the winner of a minigame corresponds to the day of the week played, and the ingenious tiebreaker mechanism based on dental records (or vowel count!) infuses the game with an unpredictable and often hilarious competitive edge. These unique mechanics, while occasionally eyebrow-raising, undeniably add an eccentric charm that's hard to find elsewhere.
Nobuaki Kanazawa, the mastermind behind Sonic Shuffle, deserves recognition for crafting a distinctive and engaging experience. The minigames, combined with the unexpected chess integration and rhythm challenges, are nothing short of a stroke of genius, offering players an exciting and unforgettable gameplay tapestry.
However, Sonic Shuffle does have its quirks. The complexity of some minigames and rule intricacies might deter casual players, making it more appealing to those who enjoy diving deep into a game's mechanics. Additionally, the amalgamation of elements might feel overwhelming at times, especially during your initial playthrough.
In conclusion, Sonic Shuffle may not have received the spotlight it deserves, but it's an undeniable masterpiece in its own right. With its captivating minigames, quirky rule mechanics, and a fusion of gameplay elements that might seem odd at first but ultimately work together harmoniously, Sonic Shuffle provides a fresh and exciting alternative to the more well-known party game titles. It's a must-play for Sonic fans and party game enthusiasts alike, offering a unique and memorable experience that's truly one of a kind.
Score: 8.5/10
Sonic Mania proves that sometimes, to make a truly great Sonic game, you might need to leave Sega out of the equation entirely. This game is a pleasant surprise in the Sonic franchise, a series notorious for its uneven quality over the years.
The sheer joy of Sonic Mania becomes evident when you realize that you could've been watching more Sonic Mania gameplay instead of enduring subpar content. It's a game that makes you "wow" as it rediscovers the essence of what makes Sonic so beloved. And what's even more remarkable? It had nothing to do with Sega's usual meddling. The gameplay is a nostalgic throwback to the classic Sonic adventures, perfectly capturing the essence of the original titles.
In stark contrast to the disappointment of a "missing children review," Sonic Mania stands as a shining example of how to revitalize a franchise. It's anything but "dogshit" and easily ranks among the best Sonic games in existence. The level design, music, and overall presentation are all meticulously crafted, reminding players of what made Sonic a gaming icon in the first place.
When you finally get to experience the pure, unadulterated fun of Sonic Mania, you'll find yourself echoing the sentiments of Akihiko from Persona 3: "I've been waiting for this." The gameplay is smooth, the levels are expertly designed, and it's an absolute blast to play.
One can't help but wonder how Sonic Mania achieved what so many other Sonic games failed to. The answer is simple: Sonic Team had nothing to do with the development. This game dared to ask the question, "What if Sonic was actually good?" And it delivered a resounding "yes." Sonic Mania is a delightful return to form for the blue hedgehog and a must-play for fans of the franchise and newcomers alike.
Score: 9/10
The sheer joy of Sonic Mania becomes evident when you realize that you could've been watching more Sonic Mania gameplay instead of enduring subpar content. It's a game that makes you "wow" as it rediscovers the essence of what makes Sonic so beloved. And what's even more remarkable? It had nothing to do with Sega's usual meddling. The gameplay is a nostalgic throwback to the classic Sonic adventures, perfectly capturing the essence of the original titles.
In stark contrast to the disappointment of a "missing children review," Sonic Mania stands as a shining example of how to revitalize a franchise. It's anything but "dogshit" and easily ranks among the best Sonic games in existence. The level design, music, and overall presentation are all meticulously crafted, reminding players of what made Sonic a gaming icon in the first place.
When you finally get to experience the pure, unadulterated fun of Sonic Mania, you'll find yourself echoing the sentiments of Akihiko from Persona 3: "I've been waiting for this." The gameplay is smooth, the levels are expertly designed, and it's an absolute blast to play.
One can't help but wonder how Sonic Mania achieved what so many other Sonic games failed to. The answer is simple: Sonic Team had nothing to do with the development. This game dared to ask the question, "What if Sonic was actually good?" And it delivered a resounding "yes." Sonic Mania is a delightful return to form for the blue hedgehog and a must-play for fans of the franchise and newcomers alike.
Score: 9/10
Sonic Free Riders, a game that screams urgency as if it's propelling you straight to the ER! The constant barrage of "Ready?" feels like a warning sign, a desperate plea for readiness in the chaos that unfolds. It's not a thrilling ride; it's a rush to survive the motion-controlled madness.
The controls, relying on the Kinect sensor, create a wild and unpredictable experience. Maneuvering Sonic and the gang feels like trying to control a stand in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure - a feat not for the faint of heart. The relentless "Ready?" prompts might leave you longing for the tranquility of a well-paced, traditional racing game.
Score: 3/10
The controls, relying on the Kinect sensor, create a wild and unpredictable experience. Maneuvering Sonic and the gang feels like trying to control a stand in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure - a feat not for the faint of heart. The relentless "Ready?" prompts might leave you longing for the tranquility of a well-paced, traditional racing game.
Score: 3/10
Not scary, didn't shiver. Your attempt at horror is so feeble, I wish it had just flown over my head and you had given up on trying to scare me. Frankly, this is a pitiful effort at creating a sense of dread. Not a shiver, not a tremble, not even the faintest tingle down my spine. Science says fear triggers a fight-or-flight response, but I didn't even feel a flicker of adrenaline. 0/10, this horror is so weak, I can't fathom how anyone allowed you to create something remotely scary. The mental gymnastics you must have done to conjure up this horror could power a small village. Find a better story and learn how to build suspense; read a book. I'm not saying this to mock you; I genuinely mean it when I say this is a woeful attempt at horror. You've single-handedly butchered the concept of fear and every chilling tale in existence. I'm so disheartened that society has collectively failed to teach you how to induce fear. Honestly, even if I poured all my energy into trying to be scared by
Sonic CD, the game that brought us "time travel" in a blue hedgehog's world. It's like they threw a DeLorean into Green Hill Zone and called it innovation. The soundtrack is decent, but beware the ominous warning: PCM 12 and DA 25 might induce an unexpected bathroom emergency. Maybe it's Sonic's way of saying, "Gotta Go Fast" has a whole new meaning. While the time-travel gimmick adds some spice, it's still the same old Sonic formula. If you're into retro platformers with quirky sound test surprises, Sonic CD might be your thing. A casual 7/10 for being the oddball in Sonic's library.
I hate playing Sonic and the Black Knight because whenever I see the title screen, I catch a glimpse of the word "KNIGHT" in the title. But most of what my eyes focus on is "KNIGHT," which sounds like "NIGHT," and I am afraid of the dark. So, I get scared of the game and start shaking and getting anxious out of fear. Essentially, every time I try to play Sonic and the Black Knight, I get reminded of my fear of the dark and end up too anxious to play, leaving me frustrated every time. Thanks a lot, Sonic and the Black Knight.
Score: 2/10
Score: 2/10
"Welcome to Smarty Pants! Uh-oh, you're in jail! Spin the wheel! Rex in Xenoblade 2 Weezerfan, incredible! Double points dance! Dark Souls difficulty slider perfection, just amazing. That's too hard, that's too easy, Switcharoo, iconic narrator cards. Pelvic thrust dance, justice system. Sublime main theme, Spotify, Amazon Music. Smarty Pants Mascot, lightbulb, bright means smart! Neil Druckmann character design, Typical Colors 2. The double points dance, paradise, TOTALLY NEVER wrist strap, Mario Galaxy, IM LOOKING AT YOU. PERFECTLY syncs, legendary dance, Jesus himself. 2.5x points, ecstasy, EA. Smarty Pants 2 sequel, E3, savior. Welcome to Smarty Pants!"
Rating: 8.8/10 (Because, well, it's quite a unique review!)
Rating: 8.8/10 (Because, well, it's quite a unique review!)
"Slender: The Arrival is a tedious and uninspired game that offers little more than aimless wandering and paper collecting. The many comparisons that have been made between this game and Death Stranding is laughable, as Slender lacks the depth and innovation of Kojima's game. The gameplay is repetitive, and the horror elements are predictable. Overall, a forgettable experience that fails to deliver on its promises."
Score: 4/10
Score: 4/10
Whoa, dude, this is a wild ride of a game. I mean, I can't offer much in terms of emotional support, but it sounds like fans of this game have been through quite the rollercoaster. As for Slayers X: Terminal Aftermath - Vengeance of the Slayer, well, it's probably not gonna help sort out their personal issues. But hey, if you need a distraction, diving into a game might provide a temporary escape. As for a score, I'll give it a solid 5/10 because, well, why not?
Silent Hill: Ascension dives deep into the psychological horror genre, delivering an experience that transcends the typical scares associated with the Silent Hill series. The game's brilliant commentary
Score: 9/10
Score: 9/10
AHHHHHHHHHAHhhhhhhaahhhhhhh! Silent Hill 3, or as I like to call it, the "Screaming Simulator," delivers an auditory experience like no other. Forget Oscars; the in-game awards go to Heathers falls through the floor for Best Scream. The voice acting is so unique that it deserves its own category in The Game Awards. PYOOOIIIRA, MY DECISION IS FIIIOONAL, and GOAT FUCK are unforgettable lines that have etched themselves into gaming history but Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks screaming in this game takes the cake. Silent Hill 3: where the horror isn't just visual; it's auditory torture too. 10/10 for the sheer insanity of the experience.
Samba de Amigo is a frustrating experience for anyone who doesn't speak Spanish. The game's reliance on a native Spanish speaker to translate the instructions makes it inaccessible to many players. This, combined with the strange and unsettling messages within the game, creates a confusing and unpleasant gameplay experience. Overall, a game that fails to deliver on its promise of fun and entertainment.
...........Connecting to Dudss:
Samba de Amigo es un juego que habla en susurros, ocultando secretos bajo su superficie. Si bien por fuera parece ser un juego de ritmo simple, hay más de lo que parece. Presta mucha atención a las letras de las canciones, los movimientos de los bailarines y los mensajes que parpadean en la pantalla. Hay una historia oculta esperando ser descubierta, un misterio que desafiará tu percepción del juego. Sumérgete en el mundo de Samba de Amigo y descubre la verdad por ti mismo
Score: 3/10
...........Connecting to Dudss:
Samba de Amigo es un juego que habla en susurros, ocultando secretos bajo su superficie. Si bien por fuera parece ser un juego de ritmo simple, hay más de lo que parece. Presta mucha atención a las letras de las canciones, los movimientos de los bailarines y los mensajes que parpadean en la pantalla. Hay una historia oculta esperando ser descubierta, un misterio que desafiará tu percepción del juego. Sumérgete en el mundo de Samba de Amigo y descubre la verdad por ti mismo
Score: 3/10
Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin, man, it's like a perfect symphony of farming and combat. You know, it's like when Anthony Fantano says, "I'm thinking... a 10" – that's how good this game is. It's not just a game; it's an experience. The way it combines the serene art of rice cultivation with kick-ass combat is mind-blowing.
Fantano would probably give it a 10 just for the sheer creativity and uniqueness. The visuals, the storyline, the whole vibe – it's a masterpiece. Sakuna doesn't just entertain; it immerses you in a world where growing rice is as thrilling as kicking demon butt. If Anthony Fantano were reviewing Sakuna, he'd likely give it that coveted 10, he's not here to do so, so I'll have to take the wheel instead:
I'm thinking... a 10
Fantano would probably give it a 10 just for the sheer creativity and uniqueness. The visuals, the storyline, the whole vibe – it's a masterpiece. Sakuna doesn't just entertain; it immerses you in a world where growing rice is as thrilling as kicking demon butt. If Anthony Fantano were reviewing Sakuna, he'd likely give it that coveted 10, he's not here to do so, so I'll have to take the wheel instead:
I'm thinking... a 10
Rubik's Puzzle World is a mind-bending descent into the depths of puzzling insanity. As you delve deeper into its twisted puzzles, you'll question your sanity, your very existence. The puzzles taunt you, laughing at your feeble attempts to solve them. They mock you, daring you to continue, to unravel their enigmatic secrets.
But beware, for within Rubik's Puzzle World lies a darkness, a malevolent force that seeks to consume your soul. The puzzles themselves are mere vessels for this evil, luring you in with their colorful facade before trapping you in a nightmarish labyrinth of despair.
Yet, amidst the chaos and confusion, there is a strange beauty to be found in Rubik's Puzzle World. A beauty that transcends logic and reason, a beauty that can only be appreciated by those who are truly lost in its madness.
So, if you dare to enter Rubik's Puzzle World, prepare yourself for a journey unlike any other. A journey into the unknown, where the only certainty is uncertainty, and the only way out is through.
Score: ∞/10
But beware, for within Rubik's Puzzle World lies a darkness, a malevolent force that seeks to consume your soul. The puzzles themselves are mere vessels for this evil, luring you in with their colorful facade before trapping you in a nightmarish labyrinth of despair.
Yet, amidst the chaos and confusion, there is a strange beauty to be found in Rubik's Puzzle World. A beauty that transcends logic and reason, a beauty that can only be appreciated by those who are truly lost in its madness.
So, if you dare to enter Rubik's Puzzle World, prepare yourself for a journey unlike any other. A journey into the unknown, where the only certainty is uncertainty, and the only way out is through.
Score: ∞/10
(Verse 1)
In the world of spies and sentries, let me take you on a spree,
Where the snipers aim with cheats, and the spies dance gleefully.
Mann Co. stands so tall, where chaos rules it all,
A place where Pyros burn and Engineers build the call.
(Chorus)
Team Fortress 2, I've got my sight on you,
In this world of hats and bombs, there's nothing we can't do.
From Dustbowl to Badwater, we'll fight through and through,
In Team Fortress 2, my aim is true.
(Verse 2)
In 2Fort, we defend and push, where strategies take hold,
And in Upward, we'll push the cart, as the tales of battle unfold.
From capture the flag to King of the Hill, we'll take the fight uphill,
And in Payload Race, we'll race against time with the force of our will.
(Chorus)
Team Fortress 2, I've got my sight on you,
In this world of hats and bombs, there's nothing we can't do.
From Dustbowl to Badwater, we'll fight through and through,
In Team Fortress 2, my aim is true.
(Bridge)
But beware of those aimbot snipers, with shots so precise,
In this team-based chaos, they'll catch you by surprise.
With Rocket Launchers and Stickybombs, the Demomen take flight,
And as Medics heal the wounded, we'll stand and fight the fight.
(Chorus)
Team Fortress 2, I've got my sight on you,
In this world of hats and bombs, there's nothing we can't do.
From Dustbowl to Badwater, we'll fight through and through,
In Team Fortress 2, my aim is true.
(Outro)
So whether you're RED or BLU, in this world, we unite,
For in Team Fortress 2, we'll stand and fight.
In the battle for the control points, with all our might,
Team Fortress 2, we'll shine so bright.
Score: 8/10
In the world of spies and sentries, let me take you on a spree,
Where the snipers aim with cheats, and the spies dance gleefully.
Mann Co. stands so tall, where chaos rules it all,
A place where Pyros burn and Engineers build the call.
(Chorus)
Team Fortress 2, I've got my sight on you,
In this world of hats and bombs, there's nothing we can't do.
From Dustbowl to Badwater, we'll fight through and through,
In Team Fortress 2, my aim is true.
(Verse 2)
In 2Fort, we defend and push, where strategies take hold,
And in Upward, we'll push the cart, as the tales of battle unfold.
From capture the flag to King of the Hill, we'll take the fight uphill,
And in Payload Race, we'll race against time with the force of our will.
(Chorus)
Team Fortress 2, I've got my sight on you,
In this world of hats and bombs, there's nothing we can't do.
From Dustbowl to Badwater, we'll fight through and through,
In Team Fortress 2, my aim is true.
(Bridge)
But beware of those aimbot snipers, with shots so precise,
In this team-based chaos, they'll catch you by surprise.
With Rocket Launchers and Stickybombs, the Demomen take flight,
And as Medics heal the wounded, we'll stand and fight the fight.
(Chorus)
Team Fortress 2, I've got my sight on you,
In this world of hats and bombs, there's nothing we can't do.
From Dustbowl to Badwater, we'll fight through and through,
In Team Fortress 2, my aim is true.
(Outro)
So whether you're RED or BLU, in this world, we unite,
For in Team Fortress 2, we'll stand and fight.
In the battle for the control points, with all our might,
Team Fortress 2, we'll shine so bright.
Score: 8/10
The epic quest to carry on the legacy begins, for I am the second Rogue of this lineage, following the footsteps of the first Rogue. Armed with the tales of the grandeur my predecessor described, a tranquil oasis in a desert of sameness, I embarked on a mission to surpass their legacy.
But as I wandered through the castle, something felt amiss. The walls stretched endlessly, and the enemies were more generic than the love interest in a romantic comedy. It's as if I've been here for hours, but wasn't it just a brief three minutes of gameplay? These twisting corridors left me disoriented, like a mirage in a desert, and the light, blinding like a thousand suns, made me question my reality. Could it be that none of this is real? Have I lost my mind?
Rogue the first, you've been my greatest inspiration, a solid wall in these trying times. Your description of the oasis was like a promise of salvation. But my journey takes a strange turn as the walls blur, and the heat fries my brain. Is this desert real, or am I succumbing to a heatstroke-induced mirage?
Perhaps I'm delirious, but this cruel desert feels like a place of despair, not hope. I wander aimlessly, doubting my legacy. The oasis that should have been my reward is nowhere to be seen. Maybe those haters were right; perhaps I'm doomed to die in this forsaken desert.
But then, in a moment of clarity, I realize that my predecessor's legacy is more than just words. It's a guiding light, a beacon leading me to salvation. And there it is, the oasis! Rogue the first, you were the one that saved me.
As I eagerly rush towards the water's edge, I unexpectedly collide with an invisible wall. What just happened? A magical genie materializes on the other side, taunting me with three wishes. Of course, I wish for water, and can we remove that pesky wall? But the genie's response is infuriating – "Maybe."
My frustration grows, but the genie delays my wishes, using the "Gimmie a Moment!" card. I'm left stranded, waiting. Patience wears thin, but I keep singing that refrain – "You're gonna be the one that saves me!"
Alas, today is not the day the genie saves me from the blistering sun. "You're gonna have to wait; I used the 'Gimmie a Moment!' card," the genie retorts. As I sit, my oasis and my wishes remain tantalizingly out of reach. I'm left with the ever-persistent refrain echoing in my mind – "You're gonna be the one that saves me."
To Rogue Legacy 2, I say, you've succeeded in creating a bewildering and engaging world. The legacy of the first Rogue is not just a description; it's a challenging and mesmerizing experience. For this, I award you a strong 8 out of 10. Your wonder is real.
But as I wandered through the castle, something felt amiss. The walls stretched endlessly, and the enemies were more generic than the love interest in a romantic comedy. It's as if I've been here for hours, but wasn't it just a brief three minutes of gameplay? These twisting corridors left me disoriented, like a mirage in a desert, and the light, blinding like a thousand suns, made me question my reality. Could it be that none of this is real? Have I lost my mind?
Rogue the first, you've been my greatest inspiration, a solid wall in these trying times. Your description of the oasis was like a promise of salvation. But my journey takes a strange turn as the walls blur, and the heat fries my brain. Is this desert real, or am I succumbing to a heatstroke-induced mirage?
Perhaps I'm delirious, but this cruel desert feels like a place of despair, not hope. I wander aimlessly, doubting my legacy. The oasis that should have been my reward is nowhere to be seen. Maybe those haters were right; perhaps I'm doomed to die in this forsaken desert.
But then, in a moment of clarity, I realize that my predecessor's legacy is more than just words. It's a guiding light, a beacon leading me to salvation. And there it is, the oasis! Rogue the first, you were the one that saved me.
As I eagerly rush towards the water's edge, I unexpectedly collide with an invisible wall. What just happened? A magical genie materializes on the other side, taunting me with three wishes. Of course, I wish for water, and can we remove that pesky wall? But the genie's response is infuriating – "Maybe."
My frustration grows, but the genie delays my wishes, using the "Gimmie a Moment!" card. I'm left stranded, waiting. Patience wears thin, but I keep singing that refrain – "You're gonna be the one that saves me!"
Alas, today is not the day the genie saves me from the blistering sun. "You're gonna have to wait; I used the 'Gimmie a Moment!' card," the genie retorts. As I sit, my oasis and my wishes remain tantalizingly out of reach. I'm left with the ever-persistent refrain echoing in my mind – "You're gonna be the one that saves me."
To Rogue Legacy 2, I say, you've succeeded in creating a bewildering and engaging world. The legacy of the first Rogue is not just a description; it's a challenging and mesmerizing experience. For this, I award you a strong 8 out of 10. Your wonder is real.
Ninjabread Man, oh, where do I even begin? This game is a masterpiece, a hidden gem that will forever hold a special place in the hearts of gamers who appreciate the finer things in life. When I first laid eyes on Ninjabread Man, I couldn't believe my luck. A platformer with such charm and elegance is a rare find indeed.
The combat in this game is nothing short of legendary. Controlling our hero, the Ninjabread Man himself, is an experience beyond compare. His ninja skills are put to the test as he takes on the sugary forces of evil, and let me tell you, it's a sight to behold. The controls are so intuitive that you'll find yourself effortlessly slicing through your doughy adversaries in no time.
Now, let's talk aesthetics. Ninjabread Man boasts a delightful and mouthwatering world. The sugary landscapes and cookie-themed environments are a visual treat. It's as if you've stepped into a candy wonderland, and you're the star of the show. The attention to detail in the design is truly commendable.
And then there's the character action. Oh boy, the character action! Ninjabread Man doesn't just bring the heat; it sets the whole kitchen on fire. The combination of platforming and combat is executed with such finesse that it puts other character action games to shame. You'll be pulling off combos and acrobatics that will make your jaw drop.
In summary, Ninjabread Man is a game that defies all expectations. It's not just good; it's goated. This platformer delivers fun, excitement, and a sugary rush like no other. If you haven't played it yet, you're missing out on a gaming experience that will leave you craving for more.
Score: 11/10
The combat in this game is nothing short of legendary. Controlling our hero, the Ninjabread Man himself, is an experience beyond compare. His ninja skills are put to the test as he takes on the sugary forces of evil, and let me tell you, it's a sight to behold. The controls are so intuitive that you'll find yourself effortlessly slicing through your doughy adversaries in no time.
Now, let's talk aesthetics. Ninjabread Man boasts a delightful and mouthwatering world. The sugary landscapes and cookie-themed environments are a visual treat. It's as if you've stepped into a candy wonderland, and you're the star of the show. The attention to detail in the design is truly commendable.
And then there's the character action. Oh boy, the character action! Ninjabread Man doesn't just bring the heat; it sets the whole kitchen on fire. The combination of platforming and combat is executed with such finesse that it puts other character action games to shame. You'll be pulling off combos and acrobatics that will make your jaw drop.
In summary, Ninjabread Man is a game that defies all expectations. It's not just good; it's goated. This platformer delivers fun, excitement, and a sugary rush like no other. If you haven't played it yet, you're missing out on a gaming experience that will leave you craving for more.
Score: 11/10
Roblox, the virtual wonderland, outshines with Typical Colors 2's relentless updates, overshadowing even the iconic TF2. Character designs, supposedly influenced by a duck for the TC2 Demoman, inject a humorous twist. And hey, who wouldn't want to splurge $239.99 CAD on Larry the Lobster urgently? It's a steal! The community's enthusiasm and creative spirit make Roblox a vibrant hub for gamers, offering an ever-evolving landscape of entertainment. Dive into this digital realm, but watch out—Larry might be waiting with his claws wide open. Score: 9/10.
Rhythm Heaven Fever, more like Rhythm Hell's descent into madness. This dogshit rhythm game had me questioning my sanity. Where the hell are the prompts? I felt like I was banging on a drum in the dark. Forget this garbage, play Rabbids TV Party—it's got actual music, not the beeps and boops of Nintendo's failed attempt at rhythm. And don't get me started on the racist duck distracting me from avoiding baboon leg snapping. This game is a descent into auditory madness, and I'd rather have my eardrums violated by a rabbid. A generous 2/10 for the effort.
In the twisted beats of Rhythm Heaven, Light Yagami might find himself out of sync. No Death Note could orchestrate the perfect rhythm this game demands. In the world of catchy tunes and quirky characters, even the God of the New World might take a break from his dark endeavors. Rhythm Heaven would probably be too lighthearted for someone with such a grim worldview. Score: 5/10.
Rayman Raving Rabbids: TV Party is a game that defies conventional game design in a truly baffling way. It manages to make giving up the most rewarding experience while delivering an overall gameplay package that feels like a cruel joke played on the player.
The game's standout feature, if you can call it that, is its peculiar approach to rewarding players who throw in the towel halfway through a mini-game. It's almost as if the developers are encouraging players to give up on this rotting diarrhea of a game. But here's the kicker: the person who tries their hardest and comes in second place? They get nothing, absolutely nothing, in return for their effort.
One of the most painful experiences in this carnival of absurdity is the music mini-game. It forces players to listen to Rabbids attempting to sing songs like "Toxic" by Britney Spears, and it's an auditory assault that makes you question your life choices.
Speaking of Britney Spears, one can't help but feel sorry for her. This game might be a contributing factor to her mental health issues, and if that's not a damning indictment of Rayman Raving Rabbids: TV Party, I don't know what is.
This game is a testament to why you should never, under any circumstances, trust someone who genuinely enjoys this deplorable and cringe-worthy experience. The Rabbids have overstayed their welcome, and it's time to send them back to whatever bizarre dimension they crawled out of.
Score: 2/10
The game's standout feature, if you can call it that, is its peculiar approach to rewarding players who throw in the towel halfway through a mini-game. It's almost as if the developers are encouraging players to give up on this rotting diarrhea of a game. But here's the kicker: the person who tries their hardest and comes in second place? They get nothing, absolutely nothing, in return for their effort.
One of the most painful experiences in this carnival of absurdity is the music mini-game. It forces players to listen to Rabbids attempting to sing songs like "Toxic" by Britney Spears, and it's an auditory assault that makes you question your life choices.
Speaking of Britney Spears, one can't help but feel sorry for her. This game might be a contributing factor to her mental health issues, and if that's not a damning indictment of Rayman Raving Rabbids: TV Party, I don't know what is.
This game is a testament to why you should never, under any circumstances, trust someone who genuinely enjoys this deplorable and cringe-worthy experience. The Rabbids have overstayed their welcome, and it's time to send them back to whatever bizarre dimension they crawled out of.
Score: 2/10
So, I've been playing Raving Rabbids: Travel in Time for the past few months, and I'm talking about hardcore Rabbid madness. The game constantly throws ridiculous and chaotic challenges at you, making it a wild ride from start to finish. It even got to a point where I was physically laughing out loud at the sheer absurdity of the mini-games. I tried understanding the game’s mechanics, asking myself why I enjoy the Rabbids' antics so much, even taking breaks, but I keep coming back. The Rabbids have a group of other equally wacky characters, and they constantly mess with historical events, get into hilarious situations, etc. I don't know how to stop my obsession; I don't know why this game is so addictive. People have told me how this is just a phase and that I'll grow out of it, but I'm still hooked. I'm scared I'll get too wrapped up in the Rabbids' madness. I'm scared I'll start quoting the Rabbids in real life. Any advice on how I can balance this game with my daily life?
Score: 7/10
Score: 7/10
Rabbids Invasion: The Interactive TV Show seems to be in a league of its own with that delightfully idiotic EHHHYYAAA... Rabbid noise accompanying every click, which might just be its sole redeeming feature. Yet, not even this quirky quirkiness can save it from the depths of gaming oblivion. Remember the days when this was the benchmark for bad games? Ah, the nostalgia. Now, we're spoiled with a whole host of wretched titles, each boasting their own unique brand of horror, from King of Clubs to Garten of banban and beyond. One thing's for sure, none of them can quite match the unforgettable menu sound of EEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.
Score: 2/10
Score: 2/10
R4 Ridge Racer Type 4 offers a nostalgic racing experience with its classic gameplay and impressive soundtrack. While the game may have some issues, such as potential bugs or glitches, its main menu music is undeniably fantastic, ranking among some of the best in gaming. The fast-paced racing action is complemented by a soundtrack that enhances the overall experience, immersing players in the adrenaline-pumping world of Ridge Racer. Despite any shortcomings, the game's music alone makes it worth a playthrough for fans of racing games and great soundtracks.
Score: 8/10
Score: 8/10
Punch-Out!!! is a game that's strangely entertaining, with its quirky characters and humorous stereotypes. Even my duck, an avid gamer, got a kick out of it. However, Neil Druckmann, a character in the game, proved to be a tough challenge. My duck couldn't defeat him because Druckmann was always "calling HR" due to his CRUNCH-TIME habits, making the fight particularly tricky. It seems my duck's bad reputation with HR prevented him from making the call. On the bright side, Punch-Out!!! managed to distract my feathered friend from tierlist.com, at least for a little while.
Nintendo's collaboration with Naughty Dog employees to create Super Macho Man's character is intriguing. It's unusual for a game developer to bring in talent from a competitor like Naughty Dog, but it seems they did it to capture an authentic personality for the character. It's a testament to the lengths developers will go to create memorable characters in the gaming world.
In the words of a wise New Yorker, "New York is the greatest city in the world." Punch-Out!!! captures the essence of this statement, with its colorful characters and challenging boxing matches. It's a game where you'll find yourself battling not just in the ring but against some amusing stereotypes, making it a unique and enjoyable experience.
Score: 8/10
Nintendo's collaboration with Naughty Dog employees to create Super Macho Man's character is intriguing. It's unusual for a game developer to bring in talent from a competitor like Naughty Dog, but it seems they did it to capture an authentic personality for the character. It's a testament to the lengths developers will go to create memorable characters in the gaming world.
In the words of a wise New Yorker, "New York is the greatest city in the world." Punch-Out!!! captures the essence of this statement, with its colorful characters and challenging boxing matches. It's a game where you'll find yourself battling not just in the ring but against some amusing stereotypes, making it a unique and enjoyable experience.
Score: 8/10
Project M is undoubtedly a unique entry in the Super Smash Bros. universe, delivering a fresh take on the beloved franchise. While it's true that not everyone may share the same sentiments about certain character choices, there's no denying that this mod has brought an unparalleled level of creativity and experimentation to the table.
There's a lot to say about the robustness and stability of Project M. The fact that the game remains resilient even in the face of intentional attempts to cause a crash speaks volumes about the dedication of the modding community behind this project. Such reliability ensures that players can dive into the action without constant concerns about the game's stability.
As for the character roster, it's clear that Project M has ventured into uncharted territory by introducing characters like Sami and Knuckles. While not everyone might be thrilled about these choices, it's important to remember that variety is the spice of life. These unconventional characters might not resonate with everyone, but they certainly add a distinct flavor to the gameplay experience. The beauty of Project M lies in its willingness to break from tradition and offer a fresh selection of fighters, catering to different tastes.
Now, of course Bubsy is my favorite character in the game. Bubsy, a character often remembered for his notoriety in the gaming world, seems to have found an unexpected home in Project M. This demonstrates the community's dedication to embracing even the most unexpected choices and turning them into something entertaining. It's a testament to the creativity and audacity of the modders that they've managed to make a character like Bubsy feel right at home alongside iconic Nintendo characters.
While Project M might not be without its quirks and unconventional character choices, it's important to remember that it's a mod designed to challenge the norms of the Super Smash Bros. series. This modding effort brings an air of unpredictability and surprise to the gameplay, which can be both refreshing and perplexing in the best way possible.
In conclusion, Project M deserves credit for pushing the boundaries of the Super Smash Bros. experience. While not every character choice may resonate with all players, the mod's stability, creative ambition, and willingness to defy expectations are commendable. If you're open to exploring a more eclectic side of the Super Smash Bros. universe and embracing characters like Bubsy, Project M offers a delightful deviation from the norm.
Rating: 7/10
There's a lot to say about the robustness and stability of Project M. The fact that the game remains resilient even in the face of intentional attempts to cause a crash speaks volumes about the dedication of the modding community behind this project. Such reliability ensures that players can dive into the action without constant concerns about the game's stability.
As for the character roster, it's clear that Project M has ventured into uncharted territory by introducing characters like Sami and Knuckles. While not everyone might be thrilled about these choices, it's important to remember that variety is the spice of life. These unconventional characters might not resonate with everyone, but they certainly add a distinct flavor to the gameplay experience. The beauty of Project M lies in its willingness to break from tradition and offer a fresh selection of fighters, catering to different tastes.
Now, of course Bubsy is my favorite character in the game. Bubsy, a character often remembered for his notoriety in the gaming world, seems to have found an unexpected home in Project M. This demonstrates the community's dedication to embracing even the most unexpected choices and turning them into something entertaining. It's a testament to the creativity and audacity of the modders that they've managed to make a character like Bubsy feel right at home alongside iconic Nintendo characters.
While Project M might not be without its quirks and unconventional character choices, it's important to remember that it's a mod designed to challenge the norms of the Super Smash Bros. series. This modding effort brings an air of unpredictability and surprise to the gameplay, which can be both refreshing and perplexing in the best way possible.
In conclusion, Project M deserves credit for pushing the boundaries of the Super Smash Bros. experience. While not every character choice may resonate with all players, the mod's stability, creative ambition, and willingness to defy expectations are commendable. If you're open to exploring a more eclectic side of the Super Smash Bros. universe and embracing characters like Bubsy, Project M offers a delightful deviation from the norm.
Rating: 7/10
If I were to review the Pokémon Trading Card Game based solely on the fictional battles we've had so far, it would be an incredibly unique and chaotic experience. The battles have been a rollercoaster of absurdity, featuring a mix of characters from various franchises and realms. While this is far from the traditional Pokémon TCG experience, it's been an absolute blast.
The battles have been filled with unexpected twists, humorous dialogues, and strange card interactions. From an unwise version of myself wielding nerf bullets laced with ricin to Shawn Michaels and his mysterious sink scream, these battles have thrown everything at us. The addition of characters like Voodood, who speaks in incoherent sentences, and Don Muraco, the philosopher, added an extra layer of complexity and entertainment.
However, it's worth noting that these battles often deviated from the standard rules of the Pokémon TCG, and the outcomes were determined by wild and creative storytelling rather than strategic card play. This may not appeal to traditional TCG enthusiasts looking for a competitive and balanced experience.
In summary, if you're looking for a unique, offbeat, and utterly unpredictable card battle experience that defies all conventions, the Pokémon Trading Card Game, as experienced through these fictional battles, deserves a solid 8 out of 10. It may not be for everyone, but it's a wild ride you won't forget!
The battles have been filled with unexpected twists, humorous dialogues, and strange card interactions. From an unwise version of myself wielding nerf bullets laced with ricin to Shawn Michaels and his mysterious sink scream, these battles have thrown everything at us. The addition of characters like Voodood, who speaks in incoherent sentences, and Don Muraco, the philosopher, added an extra layer of complexity and entertainment.
However, it's worth noting that these battles often deviated from the standard rules of the Pokémon TCG, and the outcomes were determined by wild and creative storytelling rather than strategic card play. This may not appeal to traditional TCG enthusiasts looking for a competitive and balanced experience.
In summary, if you're looking for a unique, offbeat, and utterly unpredictable card battle experience that defies all conventions, the Pokémon Trading Card Game, as experienced through these fictional battles, deserves a solid 8 out of 10. It may not be for everyone, but it's a wild ride you won't forget!
My brother (12) only ever says stuff like “Pokéball rizz” or “are you Professor Cenat from Ohio Village?” Yesterday, I was playing Pokémon Legends: Arceus, fully immersed in the game's expansive Hisui region, and THIS LITTLE TURD SAYS “these characters are just like Baby Gronk and Livvy Dunne!” and then just sat there giggling. He's a little pest, I swear. I was trying to catch an Alpha Rapidash, and his nonsense completely ruined my focus.
Edit: People seem to be misinterpreting what I’m actually annoyed about. It’s not the constant brainrot or whatever, but the fact he said this while I was trying to enjoy Pokémon Legends: Arceus. I don’t care if he’s just being silly, but like come on, dude. I’m out here trying to complete the Pokédex and this kid’s making it impossible to concentrate.
Edit 2: Thank you to all the helpful and wholesome people who have suggested using a Silcoon to keep him quiet or throwing a Smoke Bomb to distract him. But seriously, all I want is to enjoy my adventure in Hisui without interruptions. It's hard enough to catch 'em all without someone constantly reminding me how silly the game can be!
Score: 8/10
Edit: People seem to be misinterpreting what I’m actually annoyed about. It’s not the constant brainrot or whatever, but the fact he said this while I was trying to enjoy Pokémon Legends: Arceus. I don’t care if he’s just being silly, but like come on, dude. I’m out here trying to complete the Pokédex and this kid’s making it impossible to concentrate.
Edit 2: Thank you to all the helpful and wholesome people who have suggested using a Silcoon to keep him quiet or throwing a Smoke Bomb to distract him. But seriously, all I want is to enjoy my adventure in Hisui without interruptions. It's hard enough to catch 'em all without someone constantly reminding me how silly the game can be!
Score: 8/10
Pizza Tower? More like Pizza Cower. This game is about as enjoyable as sitting through a lecture on the history of anchovies. The pixel art is nice and all, but it's like putting lipstick on a pig. The gameplay is about as satisfying as eating cardboard, and don't even get me started on the music. It's like nails on a chalkboard. Overall, Pizza Tower is a bland and forgettable experience that left me feeling as disappointed as a vegan at a pepperoni convention. A dismal 3/10 from me.
Playing this game makes me want to get cryogenically frozen for the next 1000 years. The frustration it induces is as if I'm trapped in a time capsule of misery.
Pizza Delivery Boy, or perhaps we should call it "Agony on Wheels," is an exercise in masochism. Your character's job is to deliver pizzas to impatient customers, and it's astonishing how a seemingly simple premise can lead to such excruciating gameplay. If only I could find the cryogenic pod that Fry used in Futurama, I'd happily take the plunge.
Navigating the delivery boy through the convoluted streets is akin to attempting to solve a maze blindfolded. You'll spend more time getting lost than actually making deliveries, and you'll inevitably arrive late, greeted by an irate customer. It's like a cruel joke, as if the game developers aimed to see just how frustrated they could make the player.
If the pizza delivery world were as torturous as this game portrays, there would likely be a worldwide ban on pizza. The question arises: who would subject themselves to such digital torment? It's a mystery that may never be solved, akin to a never-ending quest to decipher the secret ingredient in the game's pizza sauce.
While I've never considered cryogenics as a viable option, playing Pizza Delivery Boy has me questioning my life choices. The prospect of freezing myself until a better game emerges seems increasingly appealing. Maybe in a thousand years, they'll have developed games that don't leave players craving frostbite.
Score: 2/10 for Pizza Delivery Boy; 1000/10 for the invention of cryogenics.
Pizza Delivery Boy, or perhaps we should call it "Agony on Wheels," is an exercise in masochism. Your character's job is to deliver pizzas to impatient customers, and it's astonishing how a seemingly simple premise can lead to such excruciating gameplay. If only I could find the cryogenic pod that Fry used in Futurama, I'd happily take the plunge.
Navigating the delivery boy through the convoluted streets is akin to attempting to solve a maze blindfolded. You'll spend more time getting lost than actually making deliveries, and you'll inevitably arrive late, greeted by an irate customer. It's like a cruel joke, as if the game developers aimed to see just how frustrated they could make the player.
If the pizza delivery world were as torturous as this game portrays, there would likely be a worldwide ban on pizza. The question arises: who would subject themselves to such digital torment? It's a mystery that may never be solved, akin to a never-ending quest to decipher the secret ingredient in the game's pizza sauce.
While I've never considered cryogenics as a viable option, playing Pizza Delivery Boy has me questioning my life choices. The prospect of freezing myself until a better game emerges seems increasingly appealing. Maybe in a thousand years, they'll have developed games that don't leave players craving frostbite.
Score: 2/10 for Pizza Delivery Boy; 1000/10 for the invention of cryogenics.
Phineas and Ferb: Across the Second Dimension is a foul-smelling turd of a game that somehow manages to be the best shooter on the PS3. Despite its horribly dull and ugly graphics, the game shines in its lack of consequences for losing, sparing players from boring cutscenes and tutorials. Unlike other games that make you wait endlessly for something to happen, Phineas and Ferb: Across the Second Dimension keeps things moving, providing a more recent update experience than TF2. If you're tired of mediocre games, give this one a shot for a refreshing change of pace.
Score: 6/10
Score: 6/10
Phantasy Star Online Episode I & II is more than just a game; it's a hidden historical document revealing the untold heroism of Rivers Cuomo, the frontman of Weezer. In a secret mission during World War II, Cuomo, along with his bandmates Weezer, Smartypants, and Sorry!, were enlisted to cull local wildlife, but their funds were tragically squandered on random purchases. Unbeknownst to the public, Cuomo, having honed his combat skills in the virtual realm, single-handedly ended World War II by defeating Hitler. However, a conspiracy involving farm animals distorted the truth, blaming Hitler's demise on suicide. This revelation adds a fascinating layer to Phantasy Star Online Episode I & II, making it a 9/10 for its inadvertent historical significance and blending of gaming and secret war hero narratives.
Persona 5 Tactica offers a unique twist to the Persona series, blending shooter strategy gameplay with the beloved characters from Persona 5. The decision to eliminate a new character instead of Morgana might raise eyebrows, but the game's engaging mechanics and strategic depth help it stand out from the crowd. The absence of crossover elements like Rabbids is a welcome change, ensuring a more focused experience. While the inclusion of hats as adversaries is an interesting choice, it adds to the game's charm and creativity. Despite some criticism regarding character design, Persona 5 Tactica manages to deliver a solid gameplay experience that will appeal to both Persona fans and newcomers alike.
Score: 7/10
Score: 7/10
Persona 5 Royal, a game that aimed to enhance the beloved Persona 5 experience, falls short of its intentions and leaves fans with a sense of disappointment. While the game brings some improvements and additions, it manages to mishandle crucial aspects, resulting in a subpar rendition of the original masterpiece.
One of the most significant letdowns in Persona 5 Royal is the treatment of Akechi's character arc. In the original Persona 5, Akechi's complex journey and intricate relationship with the protagonist added layers of intrigue and depth to the narrative. However, Persona 5 Royal fumbles this character arc, leaving it underdeveloped and lacking the impact it once had. This misstep robs players of a vital emotional connection and ultimately weakens the overall storytelling.
Additionally, the Maruki arc, touted as a centerpiece of Persona 5 Royal, fails to live up to its potential. Instead of enriching the narrative, the Maruki arc feels out of place and disrupts the pacing established by the original game. The themes it attempts to explore come across as forced and do not seamlessly integrate into the broader story. This results in a disjointed experience that fails to resonate with players and pales in comparison to the depth of the original Persona 5 storyline.
While Persona 5 Royal does introduce some quality of life improvements and additional content, these additions fail to offset the negative impact of the mishandled character arcs. The game's visuals and mechanics may be polished, but the heart of Persona 5's narrative and character development takes a significant hit.
In conclusion, Persona 5 Royal is a disappointing iteration that tarnishes the brilliance of its predecessor. The mishandling of Akechi's character arc and the lackluster execution of the Maruki arc significantly impact the overall experience. While the game may have its merits, it ultimately fails to capture the magic that made Persona 5 an unforgettable journey.
Rating: 5.0/10
One of the most significant letdowns in Persona 5 Royal is the treatment of Akechi's character arc. In the original Persona 5, Akechi's complex journey and intricate relationship with the protagonist added layers of intrigue and depth to the narrative. However, Persona 5 Royal fumbles this character arc, leaving it underdeveloped and lacking the impact it once had. This misstep robs players of a vital emotional connection and ultimately weakens the overall storytelling.
Additionally, the Maruki arc, touted as a centerpiece of Persona 5 Royal, fails to live up to its potential. Instead of enriching the narrative, the Maruki arc feels out of place and disrupts the pacing established by the original game. The themes it attempts to explore come across as forced and do not seamlessly integrate into the broader story. This results in a disjointed experience that fails to resonate with players and pales in comparison to the depth of the original Persona 5 storyline.
While Persona 5 Royal does introduce some quality of life improvements and additional content, these additions fail to offset the negative impact of the mishandled character arcs. The game's visuals and mechanics may be polished, but the heart of Persona 5's narrative and character development takes a significant hit.
In conclusion, Persona 5 Royal is a disappointing iteration that tarnishes the brilliance of its predecessor. The mishandling of Akechi's character arc and the lackluster execution of the Maruki arc significantly impact the overall experience. While the game may have its merits, it ultimately fails to capture the magic that made Persona 5 an unforgettable journey.
Rating: 5.0/10
Persona 4 Arena Ultimax, or as I'd like to call it, "MANGO THEM: The Arena," offers an experience that's as polarizing as it is bewildering. The battles in this game are a rollercoaster of emotions. On one hand, you might feel the thrill of landing a single hit and watching a fifth of your opponent's health bar disappear in one fell swoop. On the other, you'll be left pondering the universe's cruel sense of balance. (1/5 of your health bar disappears in one hit) - that's just how it goes.
As for the game itself, it's a bit like the strange journey of a Passione Gang member from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 5: Golden Wind. The experience can be as chaotic as facing the whims of Bucciarati's team. This may not be the finest hour in the Persona series, but it's certainly a unique spin on the formula. Yet, despite the chaotic battles and Melty Blood Type Lumina comparisons, it still manages to captivate in its peculiar way. Persona 4 Arena Ultimax is a wild ride, and much like a Stand battle, your mileage may vary.
I would rate this whirlwind of a game a Stand-tastic 7 out of 10.
As for the game itself, it's a bit like the strange journey of a Passione Gang member from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 5: Golden Wind. The experience can be as chaotic as facing the whims of Bucciarati's team. This may not be the finest hour in the Persona series, but it's certainly a unique spin on the formula. Yet, despite the chaotic battles and Melty Blood Type Lumina comparisons, it still manages to captivate in its peculiar way. Persona 4 Arena Ultimax is a wild ride, and much like a Stand battle, your mileage may vary.
I would rate this whirlwind of a game a Stand-tastic 7 out of 10.
Persona 3 Reload is an absolute masterpiece that pushes the boundaries of storytelling and sigma male in RPGs. The game's innovative use of seafood as a gameplay chungus is both hilarious and brilliant, adding a unique twist to the typical RPG formula. The Mitsuru arc, in particular, is a standout feature, requiring players to indulge in a "crippling seafood addiction" to unlock new content. This not only adds a new lore of strategy to the game but also highlights the importance of omega-3 in brain health. The game's humor is top-notch, with clever references and jokes that will keep players entertained for hours. Persona 3 Reload is a must-play for any lightskin scare fan, offering a truly unforgettable experience that will leave you craving more.
Score: 10/10
Score: 10/10
In a world filled with shovelware and a madman hell-bent on making you endure it, Persona 3 Portable is your beacon of hope, a reminder that having a beloved game at your fingertips can be a lifesaver. But be warned, should the madman grow audacious and corner you with shovelware in those moments away from your trusty PC, the consequences can be dire. If you lack your game on a mobile device, it might be time to say your goodbyes. You'll need the solace of your cherished Persona as much as you need air to breathe.
This reimagined iteration of Persona 3 presents an intriguing blend of familiar storytelling with some notable twists and trade-offs. It's certainly not the definitive version of the game, but it carves out its unique niche in the Persona series.
The most significant alteration here is the ability to choose a female protagonist, offering a different perspective on the narrative and introducing new social links. It's a divisive change, and I'd argue that it's the weakest route in the game, altering Shinjiro's character arc in a way that is unsatisfying. This decision will likely polarize players - you might love the new perspective, or you might wish it had been left untouched.
It's worth noting that Persona 3 Portable isn't the definitive version of the game. It lacks the animated cutscenes of the original and some aspects of the game's presentation feel dated. For those hoping to see the same level of cinematic storytelling found in more recent Persona titles, it might fall short.
But it's not all shadows and no substance. The game's core mechanics, the addictive blend of life simulation and turn-based dungeon crawling, remain as engaging as ever. The Social Link system is still a standout feature, allowing you to forge bonds with your fellow students and build a richer narrative experience. It's these elements that make the Persona series so unique, and they're still at the forefront of Persona 3 Portable.
One key consideration is the modern port of the game, which has its share of issues. However, at least on PC, there are dedicated modders and fans who have taken it upon themselves to fix some of these problems and enhance the experience. You may find that with the right mods, it can become the definitive way to experience this chapter in the Persona saga.
In the end, Persona 3 Portable may not be the definitive version of the game, and it certainly shakes up some established elements. However, its unique features and the ability to take the Persona experience on the go can be a refreshing take on a beloved classic. It's not quite stirred to perfection, but it's far from a disappointment.
For Persona 3 Portable, I'll award it a 7 out of 10. It's an alternative perspective on a great story, worth trying for those willing to embrace change in the world of Persona.
This reimagined iteration of Persona 3 presents an intriguing blend of familiar storytelling with some notable twists and trade-offs. It's certainly not the definitive version of the game, but it carves out its unique niche in the Persona series.
The most significant alteration here is the ability to choose a female protagonist, offering a different perspective on the narrative and introducing new social links. It's a divisive change, and I'd argue that it's the weakest route in the game, altering Shinjiro's character arc in a way that is unsatisfying. This decision will likely polarize players - you might love the new perspective, or you might wish it had been left untouched.
It's worth noting that Persona 3 Portable isn't the definitive version of the game. It lacks the animated cutscenes of the original and some aspects of the game's presentation feel dated. For those hoping to see the same level of cinematic storytelling found in more recent Persona titles, it might fall short.
But it's not all shadows and no substance. The game's core mechanics, the addictive blend of life simulation and turn-based dungeon crawling, remain as engaging as ever. The Social Link system is still a standout feature, allowing you to forge bonds with your fellow students and build a richer narrative experience. It's these elements that make the Persona series so unique, and they're still at the forefront of Persona 3 Portable.
One key consideration is the modern port of the game, which has its share of issues. However, at least on PC, there are dedicated modders and fans who have taken it upon themselves to fix some of these problems and enhance the experience. You may find that with the right mods, it can become the definitive way to experience this chapter in the Persona saga.
In the end, Persona 3 Portable may not be the definitive version of the game, and it certainly shakes up some established elements. However, its unique features and the ability to take the Persona experience on the go can be a refreshing take on a beloved classic. It's not quite stirred to perfection, but it's far from a disappointment.
For Persona 3 Portable, I'll award it a 7 out of 10. It's an alternative perspective on a great story, worth trying for those willing to embrace change in the world of Persona.
As a top-tier player in the competitive Paunch scene, my standards for games are quite high. When I first dove into Hypnospace Outlaw, I was pleasantly surprised by its unique blend of nostalgia and puzzle-solving. The game's retro-futuristic aesthetic and clever use of early internet tropes really drew me in.
The gameplay, while not overly complex, offers a satisfying challenge, especially when trying to uncover hidden content and solve the mysteries within the game. The pacing can be a bit slow at times, but I found that it added to the overall immersion and atmosphere of the game.
One of the standout features of Hypnospace Outlaw is its soundtrack, which perfectly captures the essence of the late 90s internet era. The music really enhances the experience and helps to transport you back in time.
Overall, I would give Hypnospace Outlaw a solid 9/10. It's a game that's not afraid to take risks and try something different, and for that, it deserves praise. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a unique gaming experience.
The gameplay, while not overly complex, offers a satisfying challenge, especially when trying to uncover hidden content and solve the mysteries within the game. The pacing can be a bit slow at times, but I found that it added to the overall immersion and atmosphere of the game.
One of the standout features of Hypnospace Outlaw is its soundtrack, which perfectly captures the essence of the late 90s internet era. The music really enhances the experience and helps to transport you back in time.
Overall, I would give Hypnospace Outlaw a solid 9/10. It's a game that's not afraid to take risks and try something different, and for that, it deserves praise. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a unique gaming experience.
I know this might sound unbelievable, but it's exactly as it says. Last week, while playing Paper Mario: Color Splash, I encountered a bizarre and unforgettable moment. Just before a crucial boss battle, I felt an urgent need to use the restroom. I sensed something was off but hoped I could quickly finish the battle first. Unfortunately, I was mistaken. I had a major incident, but even after that, I still felt the urge to go. I checked the time on my phone and realized I had to get back to the game. Not wanting to miss out, especially on such an important part, I cleaned up as best as I could and resumed playing. Throughout the battle, I could hear my stomach making loud noises, and I was sweating profusely. I hoped the battle would end quickly, but the boss kept unleashing relentless attacks. Eventually, I couldn't hold it any longer and had another incident. Surprisingly, after the battle, I found a hidden area with amazing rewards in the game, including a special item that made the remaining gameplay much easier. It was a messy gaming session, but it had a surprisingly rewarding ending. I'll definitely remember this moment whenever I play Paper Mario: Color Splash in the future.
Score: 7/10
Score: 7/10
Papa's Freezeria Deluxe, an otherwise charming game about managing a frozen treat shop, descended into sheer madness during my playthrough. While the core gameplay is centered around crafting delightful ice cream sundaes for customers, my experience took an unexpected turn.
Firstly, an enraged customer, apparently unsatisfied with her order, issued a rather extreme threat. She pledged to hunt down an unfortunate employee who had the audacity to serve her an "Insta Purple Death Goo Supreme Surprise Sundae" without receiving an adequate tip. It's safe to say this customer's anger management issues are far from resolved, and her melodramatic outburst cast a dark shadow over my time in the ice cream parlor.
As if that weren't enough, things spiraled out of control when another employee, going by the name of "Rivers Cuomo," went on a bizarre rampage. Within a mere seven minutes of the shop's grand opening, this deranged worker decided to combine every ingredient in the shop into a single milkshake intended for an innocent skater woman. This act of culinary terrorism resulted in the immediate shutdown of Weezer's Freezeria, and Rivers Cuomo is now facing a potential prison sentence that rivals the lifespan of a bristlecone pine tree.
Lastly, among the chaos and confusion, a "Venom poster" made an appearance. While I can only assume this was an attempt to add some semblance of normalcy to the situation, it felt entirely out of place and did little to mitigate the mayhem unfolding in the shop.
In the end, Papa's Freezeria Deluxe left me with more questions than answers. The gameplay itself, when not overshadowed by threats and criminal antics, is quite enjoyable, but the absurdity of my experience cannot be ignored. For those seeking a peaceful ice cream parlor management simulation, I would suggest looking elsewhere. This game is a prime example of how things can quickly go awry when customers and employees alike lose their grip on reality.
Score: 3/10
Firstly, an enraged customer, apparently unsatisfied with her order, issued a rather extreme threat. She pledged to hunt down an unfortunate employee who had the audacity to serve her an "Insta Purple Death Goo Supreme Surprise Sundae" without receiving an adequate tip. It's safe to say this customer's anger management issues are far from resolved, and her melodramatic outburst cast a dark shadow over my time in the ice cream parlor.
As if that weren't enough, things spiraled out of control when another employee, going by the name of "Rivers Cuomo," went on a bizarre rampage. Within a mere seven minutes of the shop's grand opening, this deranged worker decided to combine every ingredient in the shop into a single milkshake intended for an innocent skater woman. This act of culinary terrorism resulted in the immediate shutdown of Weezer's Freezeria, and Rivers Cuomo is now facing a potential prison sentence that rivals the lifespan of a bristlecone pine tree.
Lastly, among the chaos and confusion, a "Venom poster" made an appearance. While I can only assume this was an attempt to add some semblance of normalcy to the situation, it felt entirely out of place and did little to mitigate the mayhem unfolding in the shop.
In the end, Papa's Freezeria Deluxe left me with more questions than answers. The gameplay itself, when not overshadowed by threats and criminal antics, is quite enjoyable, but the absurdity of my experience cannot be ignored. For those seeking a peaceful ice cream parlor management simulation, I would suggest looking elsewhere. This game is a prime example of how things can quickly go awry when customers and employees alike lose their grip on reality.
Score: 3/10
Pac-Man Championship Edition 2 is a wrath of Aquarius in gaming. This black metal terrorist delivers an experience beyond comparison. It's a humanitarian game, a veteran in the realm of arcade entertainment. Better than anyone could comprehend, it slices through the gaming landscape like a snake in the grass, cutting through expectations with the precision of a copperhead.
Hollow tips point at a copper head in this game of relentless action. Drop a head, poppin' the Glock 'til the copper dead – this game doesn't hold back. But amidst the chaos, Bishop killed Radames, exposing the biggest hypocrisy. Yet, I don't see nobody stopping me from enjoying this. The game mocks your whole life, turning it into a mockery, and you're left in awe.
As a militant in the gaming world, Pac-Man Championship Edition 2 has a mind on a million, making it the realest, bitch. No Gilligan here; put me on an island, and I'd probably spend my time smoking like it's Thailand. Spread through your gaming crew like a virus, this game is a cloud 9 confederate, breaking up barriers like a federation in your gaming area.
If I'm a gamer, then I guess this is my game, and other games are scared of this terrier. Woof. Run all your expectations; Pac-Man Championship Edition 2 keeps on catching the gaming caper. Dominating, it's the common denominator. Aftermath? You can just do the math later, as a gamer. In the night time, it keeps you out of sight like a poltergeist. When you play this, you're outta mind. Y'all niggas ain't U.L.T. (Ultimate).
Score: 9.2/10
Hollow tips point at a copper head in this game of relentless action. Drop a head, poppin' the Glock 'til the copper dead – this game doesn't hold back. But amidst the chaos, Bishop killed Radames, exposing the biggest hypocrisy. Yet, I don't see nobody stopping me from enjoying this. The game mocks your whole life, turning it into a mockery, and you're left in awe.
As a militant in the gaming world, Pac-Man Championship Edition 2 has a mind on a million, making it the realest, bitch. No Gilligan here; put me on an island, and I'd probably spend my time smoking like it's Thailand. Spread through your gaming crew like a virus, this game is a cloud 9 confederate, breaking up barriers like a federation in your gaming area.
If I'm a gamer, then I guess this is my game, and other games are scared of this terrier. Woof. Run all your expectations; Pac-Man Championship Edition 2 keeps on catching the gaming caper. Dominating, it's the common denominator. Aftermath? You can just do the math later, as a gamer. In the night time, it keeps you out of sight like a poltergeist. When you play this, you're outta mind. Y'all niggas ain't U.L.T. (Ultimate).
Score: 9.2/10
Opoona
Score: 10/10
Score: 10/10
Onrush, a descent into vehicular purgatory where the only escape is the repetitive loop of hitting opponents at the exact same speed. The game, akin to a prison, forces players to endure the pointlessness of endless redundancy. The futile attempts at achieving objectives only lead to perpetual failure via automobile accidents, trapping players in a never-ending cycle. The chaotic music transitions, ranging from screamo to dubstep, create an auditory nightmare that complements the visual madness of the game.
In Onrush, every collision with fake cars feels like a purposeful obstruction, crumbling the player's will to dust. Boosts, initially promising hope, reveal themselves as irrelevant in the face of constant competition. The game, with its disjointed experience and relentless repetition, becomes a psychological tormentor, exploiting moments of hope to intensify the ensuing despair. It's an exercise in nihilism, where playing Onrush feels more pointless than Kairi's contribution to the Kingdom Hearts story.
Score: 1/10
In Onrush, every collision with fake cars feels like a purposeful obstruction, crumbling the player's will to dust. Boosts, initially promising hope, reveal themselves as irrelevant in the face of constant competition. The game, with its disjointed experience and relentless repetition, becomes a psychological tormentor, exploiting moments of hope to intensify the ensuing despair. It's an exercise in nihilism, where playing Onrush feels more pointless than Kairi's contribution to the Kingdom Hearts story.
Score: 1/10
What if the beaver's pink liquid was the key to unraveling the entire universe of interconnected theories? Game Theory alert! While "George of the Jungle" might seem like a simple family film, it could hold the secrets to linking everything from Solid Snake to Pink Man. If Matthew Patterson is listening, it's time for the ultimate Game Theory: Flumpy, the divine offspring of Kanye West and The Imposter Amougus, a true Jesus allegory. Move over, Banban being Ness's dad; it's time for the real conspiracy to unfold! 10/10 for the mind-blowing potential of interconnected theories.
Nintendo Land, or as I like to call it, "Mario Chase: The Collection," is a mixed bag of mini-games that range from mildly entertaining to "please, just let me go play a real Mario game." Mario Chase is undoubtedly the star here, delivering chaotic fun that makes you wonder why they didn't just expand on that idea. Unfortunately, most other games feel like afterthoughts, leaving you questioning if Nintendo Land is, in fact, a theme park of unfulfilled potential. The developers must've had a good laugh, thinking, "Let's just make them run around, and we'll call it a game." Is Nintendo's digital park better than the real one? Well, at least in the digital park, you won't have to stand in line for hours. Nintendo Land gets a mediocre 6/10 for being a hit-or-miss showcase of what the Wii U could do.
Ninjabread Man, oh, where do I even begin? This game is a masterpiece, a hidden gem that will forever hold a special place in the hearts of gamers who appreciate the finer things in life. When I first laid eyes on Ninjabread Man, I couldn't believe my luck. A platformer with such charm and elegance is a rare find indeed.
The combat in this game is nothing short of legendary. Controlling our hero, the Ninjabread Man himself, is an experience beyond compare. His ninja skills are put to the test as he takes on the sugary forces of evil, and let me tell you, it's a sight to behold. The controls are so intuitive that you'll find yourself effortlessly slicing through your doughy adversaries in no time.
Now, let's talk aesthetics. Ninjabread Man boasts a delightful and mouthwatering world. The sugary landscapes and cookie-themed environments are a visual treat. It's as if you've stepped into a candy wonderland, and you're the star of the show. The attention to detail in the design is truly commendable.
And then there's the character action. Oh boy, the character action! Ninjabread Man doesn't just bring the heat; it sets the whole kitchen on fire. The combination of platforming and combat is executed with such finesse that it puts other character action games to shame. You'll be pulling off combos and acrobatics that will make your jaw drop.
In summary, Ninjabread Man is a game that defies all expectations. It's not just good; it's goated. This platformer delivers fun, excitement, and a sugary rush like no other. If you haven't played it yet, you're missing out on a gaming experience that will leave you craving for more.
Score: 11/10
The combat in this game is nothing short of legendary. Controlling our hero, the Ninjabread Man himself, is an experience beyond compare. His ninja skills are put to the test as he takes on the sugary forces of evil, and let me tell you, it's a sight to behold. The controls are so intuitive that you'll find yourself effortlessly slicing through your doughy adversaries in no time.
Now, let's talk aesthetics. Ninjabread Man boasts a delightful and mouthwatering world. The sugary landscapes and cookie-themed environments are a visual treat. It's as if you've stepped into a candy wonderland, and you're the star of the show. The attention to detail in the design is truly commendable.
And then there's the character action. Oh boy, the character action! Ninjabread Man doesn't just bring the heat; it sets the whole kitchen on fire. The combination of platforming and combat is executed with such finesse that it puts other character action games to shame. You'll be pulling off combos and acrobatics that will make your jaw drop.
In summary, Ninjabread Man is a game that defies all expectations. It's not just good; it's goated. This platformer delivers fun, excitement, and a sugary rush like no other. If you haven't played it yet, you're missing out on a gaming experience that will leave you craving for more.
Score: 11/10
Nidhogg 2 is a blatant cash grab that tarnishes the legacy of the original game. The developers have completely missed the mark with this sequel, opting for a shovelware approach that prioritizes pandering to the audience over delivering a quality gaming experience. The new art style is a jarring departure from the original game's minimalist aesthetic, and the gameplay changes feel forced and unnecessary. It's clear that Messhof has lost touch with what made the original Nidhogg so special, and Nidhogg 2 is a disappointing reminder of that fact.
Score: 2/10
Score: 2/10
Nidhogg is a game that takes us on a nostalgic trip down memory lane, back to a time when it was picked, and to our surprise, it was actually a lot of fun! We've come a long way since then, and Nidhogg remains a unique and enjoyable experience in the world of indie gaming. The gameplay is simple yet captivating, offering fast-paced duels that keep you on the edge of your seat. It's a true gem that stands out in the crowded gaming landscape.
As for the story of developer Nobuaki Kanazawa and his "Death Note" project, it's a fascinating tale of creativity and ambition. Death Note itself is a renowned manga and anime series, not a video game, however, Kanazawa's full talents wouldn't come to fruition until he showcased his videogame development skills with the unpredictability and quirky nature of Nidhogg.
Now, to score Nidhogg, I'd give it an 8/10. It's not a perfect game, but it's incredibly fun and has provided gamers with countless hours of enjoyment. Plus, its unexpected connections to the Death Note saga make it even more memorable. Whether you're a fan of intense dueling or just looking for a game that offers a unique experience, Nidhogg is worth checking out.
As for the story of developer Nobuaki Kanazawa and his "Death Note" project, it's a fascinating tale of creativity and ambition. Death Note itself is a renowned manga and anime series, not a video game, however, Kanazawa's full talents wouldn't come to fruition until he showcased his videogame development skills with the unpredictability and quirky nature of Nidhogg.
Now, to score Nidhogg, I'd give it an 8/10. It's not a perfect game, but it's incredibly fun and has provided gamers with countless hours of enjoyment. Plus, its unexpected connections to the Death Note saga make it even more memorable. Whether you're a fan of intense dueling or just looking for a game that offers a unique experience, Nidhogg is worth checking out.
Nintendo's game-making prowess has never been in question, but fan creations can sometimes surprise us. "New Super Mario Bros. Wii 2: The Next Levels" might not be a Nintendo masterpiece, but it's a clear example of how fan-made projects can captivate players with creativity and enthusiasm.
The first thing to note about this fan game is that it's an entirely new adventure created by a talented 12-year-old. You might expect something basic and unpolished, but "The Next Levels" is brimming with clever enemy placements and inventive level designs. It's impressive that a young fan could craft such well-thought-out challenges, even if it doesn't quite reach the level of Nintendo's masterpieces.
The game's difficulty is worth mentioning. "The Next Levels" is not for the faint of heart. It offers a real challenge, and it's clear that the young creator poured their heart into making sure each level feels both strategic and entertaining.
The fact that this fan project caught the attention of the Nintendo ninjas and reportedly led to a collaboration with the young developer for "Super Mario Bros. Wonder" is remarkable. It speaks to the potential of fan creations and the recognition they can receive from industry giants.
There's also an amusing touch of humor in the game's portrayal of characters, including a surprising appearance by Jesus Christ, which is as unexpected as it is entertaining, considering it's a crossover of Mario and Japanese manga. It's an excellent example of the creativity that can emerge from fan projects.
Overall, "New Super Mario Bros. Wii 2: The Next Levels" is an impressive creation by a young fan who showcases significant potential. While it doesn't quite match the quality of official Nintendo games, it's a testament to the power of fan creativity and the surprising places it can take us. I'll give it an 8 out of 10.
The first thing to note about this fan game is that it's an entirely new adventure created by a talented 12-year-old. You might expect something basic and unpolished, but "The Next Levels" is brimming with clever enemy placements and inventive level designs. It's impressive that a young fan could craft such well-thought-out challenges, even if it doesn't quite reach the level of Nintendo's masterpieces.
The game's difficulty is worth mentioning. "The Next Levels" is not for the faint of heart. It offers a real challenge, and it's clear that the young creator poured their heart into making sure each level feels both strategic and entertaining.
The fact that this fan project caught the attention of the Nintendo ninjas and reportedly led to a collaboration with the young developer for "Super Mario Bros. Wonder" is remarkable. It speaks to the potential of fan creations and the recognition they can receive from industry giants.
There's also an amusing touch of humor in the game's portrayal of characters, including a surprising appearance by Jesus Christ, which is as unexpected as it is entertaining, considering it's a crossover of Mario and Japanese manga. It's an excellent example of the creativity that can emerge from fan projects.
Overall, "New Super Mario Bros. Wii 2: The Next Levels" is an impressive creation by a young fan who showcases significant potential. While it doesn't quite match the quality of official Nintendo games, it's a testament to the power of fan creativity and the surprising places it can take us. I'll give it an 8 out of 10.
(＾• ω •＾) Meowdy meowsters! If you're looking for a game to collect kitties without the hassle of dealing with the cat girls in FFXIV's horny jail or Kirby's perpetual napping, Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector might catch your fancy. It embraces its quirkiness with expressive cat animations and a lighthearted approach to virtual cat collection. However, be warned, the game takes a unique turn by hilariously telling you to "F U C K O F F" after making a purchase. Bonus points for being the first self-aware piece of shovelware that actively encourages you not to play. A bizarre twist that adds an unexpected layer to the typical mobile gaming experience. Score: 7/10.
NBA 2K Playgrounds 2, at Mackolas' request, has been given a lower rating, and it's not hard to see why. This game falls flat, struggling to deliver a smooth and enjoyable experience. The gameplay is marred by various issues, including significant glitches that make it a frustrating endeavor to play. It's like trying to win a race with one leg tied behind your back.
Comparing NBA 2K Playgrounds 2 to Team Fortress 2 is like comparing apples to oranges, or perhaps more fittingly, like comparing a half-deflated basketball to a rocket launcher. The two games are in entirely different leagues, and it's safe to say that NBA 2K Playgrounds 2 doesn't hold a candle to the iconic Team Fortress 2. While opinions on games can vary greatly, it's highly unlikely that anyone, anywhere, would genuinely assert that NBA 2K Playgrounds 2 surpasses the sheer excellence of Team Fortress 2.
In light of these considerations, I'd have to rate NBA 2K Playgrounds 2 a disappointing 3/10. It's a game with potential, but it falls short of delivering the engaging and balanced gameplay that players deserve. If you're looking for a top-tier gaming experience, you'd be better off looking elsewhere.
Comparing NBA 2K Playgrounds 2 to Team Fortress 2 is like comparing apples to oranges, or perhaps more fittingly, like comparing a half-deflated basketball to a rocket launcher. The two games are in entirely different leagues, and it's safe to say that NBA 2K Playgrounds 2 doesn't hold a candle to the iconic Team Fortress 2. While opinions on games can vary greatly, it's highly unlikely that anyone, anywhere, would genuinely assert that NBA 2K Playgrounds 2 surpasses the sheer excellence of Team Fortress 2.
In light of these considerations, I'd have to rate NBA 2K Playgrounds 2 a disappointing 3/10. It's a game with potential, but it falls short of delivering the engaging and balanced gameplay that players deserve. If you're looking for a top-tier gaming experience, you'd be better off looking elsewhere.
My House isn't just a map; it's a mind-bending journey through the twisted labyrinth of Mackola's creativity. The symbolism, from the sinks to the dark world, is a testament to the chaotic nature of the Shovelware experience. The random skulls, evil dog encounters, and the greyscale journey culminating in a showdown with Shrek (standing in for Duds__) in a Shovelware graveyard create an immersive experience. This map is more than a tribute; it's a psychedelic trip into Mackola's world. Rating it is an insult; it transcends conventional scoring, deserving recognition as a unique expression of gaming art.
Score: Scale not high enough, transcends convential scoring
Score: Scale not high enough, transcends convential scoring