Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix is an absolute banger of a game! I'm NOT DestroyerOfMid, but I sure know a great RPG when I see one. This gem doesn't just get a score; it gets a standing ovation. The combination of Disney and Square Enix characters alone is a treat, but what really makes it shine is the heart-wrenching story. The gameplay? A perfect mix of real-time combat and the epic Keyblade transformations. You'll be battling Heartless and Nobodies, experiencing an emotional rollercoaster, and collecting keychains like they're the coolest trinkets ever. And the cherry on top? The Final Mix version brings even more content, including extra boss fights, abilities, and the Cavern of Remembrance. If I were DestroyerOfMid, I'd say this game is a solid 10 out of 10. But I'm NOT, so I'll just give it a 10 out of 10 instead.

Elden Ring, oh, the Elden Ring, a chaotic maelstrom of torment and despair! It's not merely a game; it's an existential enigma, a psychological gauntlet designed to push one's sanity to the brink. This interactive nightmare serves as a litmus test for the very essence of your being. Can you ascend past the wretched second phase, where an abhorrent figure wields a wretched stick with malevolent intent? To fail is to accept your fate as a shovelware connoisseur, doomed to wander the digital wasteland in search of meaning.

But let us not forget the truth, my dear inmates of this digital asylum. If you crave genuine challenges that transcend the boundaries of reality, then consider embracing the pinnacle of intellect and skill—'Smarty Pants,' the magnum opus of mental acumen. Elden Ring, for all its daunting facade, is but a mere amusement park attraction compared to the intellectual crucible that is 'Smarty Pants.'

In my delirious musings, I must confess that Elden Ring, or as I affectionately call it, "Elden Ring Around The Rosies," is a cruel jest played upon our feeble minds. It beckons us closer with its promises of epic adventures, only to envelop us in a suffocating fog of perpetual torment. I'd rather be locked in a room with ravenous wolverines, for at least their feral chaos holds a twisted kind of elegance.

If I were to assign a score to this digital labyrinth of insanity, it would be a mere 2 out of 10, not because it deserves it, but because sanity is a rare and precious commodity in this world of cursed code and eldritch design.

Persona 3 Reload is an absolute masterpiece that pushes the boundaries of storytelling and sigma male in RPGs. The game's innovative use of seafood as a gameplay chungus is both hilarious and brilliant, adding a unique twist to the typical RPG formula. The Mitsuru arc, in particular, is a standout feature, requiring players to indulge in a "crippling seafood addiction" to unlock new content. This not only adds a new lore of strategy to the game but also highlights the importance of omega-3 in brain health. The game's humor is top-notch, with clever references and jokes that will keep players entertained for hours. Persona 3 Reload is a must-play for any lightskin scare fan, offering a truly unforgettable experience that will leave you craving more.

Score: 10/10

Persona 5 Royal, a game that aimed to enhance the beloved Persona 5 experience, falls short of its intentions and leaves fans with a sense of disappointment. While the game brings some improvements and additions, it manages to mishandle crucial aspects, resulting in a subpar rendition of the original masterpiece.
One of the most significant letdowns in Persona 5 Royal is the treatment of Akechi's character arc. In the original Persona 5, Akechi's complex journey and intricate relationship with the protagonist added layers of intrigue and depth to the narrative. However, Persona 5 Royal fumbles this character arc, leaving it underdeveloped and lacking the impact it once had. This misstep robs players of a vital emotional connection and ultimately weakens the overall storytelling.
Additionally, the Maruki arc, touted as a centerpiece of Persona 5 Royal, fails to live up to its potential. Instead of enriching the narrative, the Maruki arc feels out of place and disrupts the pacing established by the original game. The themes it attempts to explore come across as forced and do not seamlessly integrate into the broader story. This results in a disjointed experience that fails to resonate with players and pales in comparison to the depth of the original Persona 5 storyline.
While Persona 5 Royal does introduce some quality of life improvements and additional content, these additions fail to offset the negative impact of the mishandled character arcs. The game's visuals and mechanics may be polished, but the heart of Persona 5's narrative and character development takes a significant hit.
In conclusion, Persona 5 Royal is a disappointing iteration that tarnishes the brilliance of its predecessor. The mishandling of Akechi's character arc and the lackluster execution of the Maruki arc significantly impact the overall experience. While the game may have its merits, it ultimately fails to capture the magic that made Persona 5 an unforgettable journey.

Rating: 5.0/10

Yakuza 0 is a game that knows how to have fun, even if it means spending hours playing virtual bowling and pool. While some may criticize the game for its inclusion of these seemingly mundane activities, they add a layer of charm and authenticity to the game's vibrant world. Additionally, the game's nod to the "Dame Da Ne Guy" meme may seem pandering to some, but it's done in a way that feels organic and adds to the game's quirky sense of humor. Overall, Yakuza 0 is a captivating experience that combines intense drama with lighthearted moments, creating a truly memorable gaming experience.

Score: 8/10

StarCraft: Brood War, a game etched in my childhood, was briefly revisited, revealing its strategic brilliance and iconic Zerg rush tactics. However, the restrictive rules on playtime prevented a more in-depth exploration. I call for a change in the selection process and a commitment to playing each game for at least one hour to add a new layer to the gaming experience. Breaking free from the constraints, I declare a MOO MOO revolution! The demand for a cow level in each game echoes the sentiment for a fresh and udderly unique gaming journey. Move over, Madman Mackola – it's a MOO MOO world now! 🐮 I hereby grant StarCraft: Brood War a hopeful 7.5 out of 10, anticipating fuller exploration in the future.

Rhythm Heaven Fever, more like Rhythm Hell's descent into madness. This dogshit rhythm game had me questioning my sanity. Where the hell are the prompts? I felt like I was banging on a drum in the dark. Forget this garbage, play Rabbids TV Party—it's got actual music, not the beeps and boops of Nintendo's failed attempt at rhythm. And don't get me started on the racist duck distracting me from avoiding baboon leg snapping. This game is a descent into auditory madness, and I'd rather have my eardrums violated by a rabbid. A generous 2/10 for the effort.

Mario Kart Wii 2 takes the exhilarating kart racing formula of its predecessor and cranks it up a notch, leaving players in awe of the unexpected twists and turns it introduces. The initial skepticism about another installment quickly dissipates as players are met with a surprising array of new tracks. Peach Circuit and Star Road, though not the most anticipated additions, manage to inject a fresh vibe into the Mario Kart experience, proving that innovation can sometimes come from unexpected quarters.

The modding community's audacity to go beyond the ordinary and bring forth tracks like Adv_shovelware_v1 and Jb_Freddy210hell_v12 showcases the creativity and humor that sets this mod apart. The courage to deviate from the expected norms is commendable, adding an element of surprise and unpredictability to the familiar Mario Kart formula. However, the inclusion of tracks that cater to a more niche audience might leave some players yearning for more universally beloved additions.

Mario Kart Wii 2 successfully navigates the tricky terrain of modding by balancing the introduction of novel elements with a nod to the desires of its player base. While it might not be the sequel everyone expected, it manages to carve a unique identity in the vibrant world of Mario Kart mods. Score: 8/10.

Well, having played Hades extensively, I must say it's quite the experience. The fast-paced combat, engaging story, and beautifully designed characters really set it apart in the rogue-like genre. It's like a breath of fresh air, a game that keeps you hooked for hours on end.

Now, let's address some interesting points about the game. For starters, there's a chibi cat doing Gangnam Style when picking up an Amougus. While that's an amusing mental image, it's rare to encounter in your average playthrough, hence why many other reviews on the site do not mention this forbidden piece of knowledge. Maybe they missed out on this secret Easter egg?

There's also an intriguing comparison to be made with the song "Wonderwall" by Oasis and Kanye West. It's a bit like comparing apples and oranges, but it got me thinking about the game's soundtrack. I must say, Hades boasts an epic and diverse soundtrack that perfectly complements the intense battles and emotional moments.

And to address comparisons of this game to the likes "real roguelikes" like Rogue Legacy 2, I'd say that both games have their unique charms. Hades offers a more narrative-driven experience, whereas Rogue Legacy 2 focuses on challenging gameplay and exploration. It really depends on your preferences.

In conclusion, I'd still give Hades a solid 9 out of 10. It's a must-play for fans of rogue-likes and anyone who appreciates a well-crafted story in their games. Whether you're jamming to "Wonderwall" or not, Hades is an unforgettable journey through the underworld.

Wow, Dark Souls III looked great. 185 hours of gameplay, wow, that's exactly how much time I’ve sunk into this game, haha. I bet I'd be better tho, haha. I saw in the forums you beat the game with a +2 Raw Broadsword; I literally was so close to doing that but switched to a Greatsword instead, haha. I do hate the catacombs tho because of those damn skeletons. If you were there tho, you could've parried them away. You're always online on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays; I guess I'll see you again on Saturday. Bye.

Score: 9/10

Final Fantasy VII is a masterpiece that defies even the most peculiar tangents of the human mind. Who's KanyeWest? A girl, a boy, or perhaps an entity beyond gender? LoveJoy's quest for identity, accompanied by that iconic "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" from Privately Owned Spiral Galaxy, only adds to the surreal brilliance of this game. The acknowledgement of an unused open-mouth texture, an unsung hero of gaming's annals, makes replaying this legendary title all the more fascinating.

Score: 9/10

Undertale, while intended to confront players' biases and norms, falls short of its ambitious goals, ultimately becoming a disappointing echo of greater works like Radiation’s Halloween Hack. The game's attempt to subvert traditional gaming tropes is hampered by players' ability to exploit loopholes, undermining its message. Although Undertale features unique mechanics and memorable characters, it fails to deliver a truly impactful experience, suffering from pacing issues and a lack of narrative depth. Toby Fox's efforts to craft a meaningful narrative are overshadowed by the game's pretentiousness and unfulfilled potential.

Score: 5/10

Pizza Tower? More like Pizza Cower. This game is about as enjoyable as sitting through a lecture on the history of anchovies. The pixel art is nice and all, but it's like putting lipstick on a pig. The gameplay is about as satisfying as eating cardboard, and don't even get me started on the music. It's like nails on a chalkboard. Overall, Pizza Tower is a bland and forgettable experience that left me feeling as disappointed as a vegan at a pepperoni convention. A dismal 3/10 from me.

Project M is undoubtedly a unique entry in the Super Smash Bros. universe, delivering a fresh take on the beloved franchise. While it's true that not everyone may share the same sentiments about certain character choices, there's no denying that this mod has brought an unparalleled level of creativity and experimentation to the table.
There's a lot to say about the robustness and stability of Project M. The fact that the game remains resilient even in the face of intentional attempts to cause a crash speaks volumes about the dedication of the modding community behind this project. Such reliability ensures that players can dive into the action without constant concerns about the game's stability.
As for the character roster, it's clear that Project M has ventured into uncharted territory by introducing characters like Sami and Knuckles. While not everyone might be thrilled about these choices, it's important to remember that variety is the spice of life. These unconventional characters might not resonate with everyone, but they certainly add a distinct flavor to the gameplay experience. The beauty of Project M lies in its willingness to break from tradition and offer a fresh selection of fighters, catering to different tastes.
Now, of course Bubsy is my favorite character in the game. Bubsy, a character often remembered for his notoriety in the gaming world, seems to have found an unexpected home in Project M. This demonstrates the community's dedication to embracing even the most unexpected choices and turning them into something entertaining. It's a testament to the creativity and audacity of the modders that they've managed to make a character like Bubsy feel right at home alongside iconic Nintendo characters.
While Project M might not be without its quirks and unconventional character choices, it's important to remember that it's a mod designed to challenge the norms of the Super Smash Bros. series. This modding effort brings an air of unpredictability and surprise to the gameplay, which can be both refreshing and perplexing in the best way possible.
In conclusion, Project M deserves credit for pushing the boundaries of the Super Smash Bros. experience. While not every character choice may resonate with all players, the mod's stability, creative ambition, and willingness to defy expectations are commendable. If you're open to exploring a more eclectic side of the Super Smash Bros. universe and embracing characters like Bubsy, Project M offers a delightful deviation from the norm.
Rating: 7/10

Five Nights Among Us is a wild mashup that throws you into a nightmare realm where the line between impostors and survival horror blurs. Forget about dreams; this game is a surreal concoction of the Five Nights at Freddy's and Among Us universes. But wait, the impostor isn't always black? Well, it's time to break free from those expectations and embrace the unexpected.

The game weaves a tale of suspense, betrayal, and survival, shaking up the conventions of both franchises. It's a daring experiment that pays off, offering a gripping experience that messes with your head in the best possible way. If you're up for a wild ride through the realms of horror and deception, Five Nights Among Us is the game to play.

Score: 9/10

AHHHHHHHHHAHhhhhhhaahhhhhhh! Silent Hill 3, or as I like to call it, the "Screaming Simulator," delivers an auditory experience like no other. Forget Oscars; the in-game awards go to Heathers falls through the floor for Best Scream. The voice acting is so unique that it deserves its own category in The Game Awards. PYOOOIIIRA, MY DECISION IS FIIIOONAL, and GOAT FUCK are unforgettable lines that have etched themselves into gaming history but Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks screaming in this game takes the cake. Silent Hill 3: where the horror isn't just visual; it's auditory torture too. 10/10 for the sheer insanity of the experience.

Super Mario Bros. Wonder is the epitome of mediocrity. The franchise, which has been around for ages, still panders to a young audience with talking flowers and friendly, non-challenging gameplay. Why won't the developers give us an edgier Mario game, one where he swears and indulges in mushrooms like an unapologetic rebel? It's frustrating that the creators miss the mark when it comes to understanding what the older fans truly desire. This game could be so much more, but it feels like a missed opportunity. 2 out of 10 because it's not what the true fans crave.

And yes, it's worth mentioning that this game was developed by a 12-year-old, which is impressive given the circumstances. It's a testament to the potential of young talent in the gaming industry.

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze? More like Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Snooze. This game couldn't even hold The Miz's attention, let alone mine. I'd rather subject myself to the agony of playing CS2 and getting screamed at by some Russian dude with a cheap microphone than waste another second on this snoozefest. Sure, the final boss was kinda fun, but that's like finding a nugget of gold in a pile of horse crap. Don't believe the hype, folks. This game is as exciting as watching paint dry. A lackluster 4/10 for me.

Cruelty Squad offers a unique and engaging experience for players who enjoy collecting Chunkopops. While the $11 price tag may initially seem steep, the game's community and the connections you can make with fellow Chunkopop enthusiasts make it a worthwhile investment. The game's world and characters are rich and diverse, providing a memorable experience that you won't find elsewhere. Whether you're a seasoned collector or just starting out, Cruelty Squad offers something special for all Chunkopop enthusiasts.

Score: 9/10

Phantasy Star Online Episode I & II is more than just a game; it's a hidden historical document revealing the untold heroism of Rivers Cuomo, the frontman of Weezer. In a secret mission during World War II, Cuomo, along with his bandmates Weezer, Smartypants, and Sorry!, were enlisted to cull local wildlife, but their funds were tragically squandered on random purchases. Unbeknownst to the public, Cuomo, having honed his combat skills in the virtual realm, single-handedly ended World War II by defeating Hitler. However, a conspiracy involving farm animals distorted the truth, blaming Hitler's demise on suicide. This revelation adds a fascinating layer to Phantasy Star Online Episode I & II, making it a 9/10 for its inadvertent historical significance and blending of gaming and secret war hero narratives.

To be fair, you need a high IQ to understand "Your Turn to Die: Death Game by Majority." The game's narrative is incredibly nuanced, with subtle twists and turns that require a solid understanding of human psychology and moral dilemmas. The humor, while not overt, is deeply woven into the characters' interactions and the game's overarching themes. Fans of the game appreciate its complexity and how it delves into deep philosophical questions about life and morality. Those who dismiss it as just another game fail to grasp its true depth and meaning. As someone who appreciates the intellectual challenges posed by "Your Turn to Die," I can't help but feel sorry for those who don't understand its brilliance.

Score: 9/10

Papa's Freezeria Deluxe, an otherwise charming game about managing a frozen treat shop, descended into sheer madness during my playthrough. While the core gameplay is centered around crafting delightful ice cream sundaes for customers, my experience took an unexpected turn.

Firstly, an enraged customer, apparently unsatisfied with her order, issued a rather extreme threat. She pledged to hunt down an unfortunate employee who had the audacity to serve her an "Insta Purple Death Goo Supreme Surprise Sundae" without receiving an adequate tip. It's safe to say this customer's anger management issues are far from resolved, and her melodramatic outburst cast a dark shadow over my time in the ice cream parlor.

As if that weren't enough, things spiraled out of control when another employee, going by the name of "Rivers Cuomo," went on a bizarre rampage. Within a mere seven minutes of the shop's grand opening, this deranged worker decided to combine every ingredient in the shop into a single milkshake intended for an innocent skater woman. This act of culinary terrorism resulted in the immediate shutdown of Weezer's Freezeria, and Rivers Cuomo is now facing a potential prison sentence that rivals the lifespan of a bristlecone pine tree.

Lastly, among the chaos and confusion, a "Venom poster" made an appearance. While I can only assume this was an attempt to add some semblance of normalcy to the situation, it felt entirely out of place and did little to mitigate the mayhem unfolding in the shop.

In the end, Papa's Freezeria Deluxe left me with more questions than answers. The gameplay itself, when not overshadowed by threats and criminal antics, is quite enjoyable, but the absurdity of my experience cannot be ignored. For those seeking a peaceful ice cream parlor management simulation, I would suggest looking elsewhere. This game is a prime example of how things can quickly go awry when customers and employees alike lose their grip on reality.

Score: 3/10

Seriously, what's with your obsession with messing with people's fun in Hypnospace Outlaw? You're like the ultimate troll, lurking in the digital shadows with nothing better to do than ruin someone's good time. And your choice of character? It's like you're trying to be the epitome of cringe. Can't you take a hint from Cakey and me? We may not always see eye to eye, but at least we're not trying to be the embodiment of every negative stereotype out there. Seriously, rethink your life choices, buddy.

Score: 8/10

Punch-Out!!! is a game that's strangely entertaining, with its quirky characters and humorous stereotypes. Even my duck, an avid gamer, got a kick out of it. However, Neil Druckmann, a character in the game, proved to be a tough challenge. My duck couldn't defeat him because Druckmann was always "calling HR" due to his CRUNCH-TIME habits, making the fight particularly tricky. It seems my duck's bad reputation with HR prevented him from making the call. On the bright side, Punch-Out!!! managed to distract my feathered friend from tierlist.com, at least for a little while.

Nintendo's collaboration with Naughty Dog employees to create Super Macho Man's character is intriguing. It's unusual for a game developer to bring in talent from a competitor like Naughty Dog, but it seems they did it to capture an authentic personality for the character. It's a testament to the lengths developers will go to create memorable characters in the gaming world.

In the words of a wise New Yorker, "New York is the greatest city in the world." Punch-Out!!! captures the essence of this statement, with its colorful characters and challenging boxing matches. It's a game where you'll find yourself battling not just in the ring but against some amusing stereotypes, making it a unique and enjoyable experience.

Score: 8/10

Cuphead, a refreshing break from the daily onslaught of shovelware, emerged as a beacon of genuine creativity. Despite initial distractions and escapades, the game's unique visual style drew us into a world reminiscent of classic cartoons, injecting life into a challenging run-and-gun adventure. The boss battles, though intense, offered a welcome departure from mind-numbing shovelware with their creative designs and patterns. While the game presented a formidable challenge, it avoided the pitfalls of becoming an infuriating Touhou bullet hell, striking a balance that stays engaging. Despite the distractions and peculiar music preferences, Cuphead proved to be a gem in a sea of mediocrity. Score: 8/10.

What's in a name? Apparently, everything when it comes to Final Fantasy VII Remake, or at least according to some die-hard fans who believe the names have been mysteriously muddled. But is there more to this reboot than meets the eye? Let's dive into this unexpected adventure that blends nostalgia with fresh perspectives.

Now, it's true; some names have changed. Weezer, that iconic figure in the original game, has suddenly become Cloud. Perhaps Square Enix was on some sort of 'cloud nine' themselves when they made this call, but it's not just the names that have shifted.

Kanye West has transformed into, wait for it, Tifa. Yes, we've lost the musical genius, but we've gained a sense of simplicity. She might not be saying racist things anymore, but at least she still kicks some major bad guy butt.

The controversial twist arrives with DEMONDICE, now affectionately known as Barret. Forget the memorable "EY YO, COVER YOUR EARS AND SHIELD YOUR EYES!" That's gone in this modern incarnation. Perhaps it's for the better; your eardrums might be grateful.

And the biggest shock of all, one that's hit harder than a meteor: LoveJoy is now the elegant Aerith. LoveJoy, your trusty source of British humor, has been replaced by something different. Perhaps it's not quite a deal-breaker, but it's still a surprising alteration.

On the bright side, there's more to Final Fantasy VII Remake than the nomenclature. The gameplay is a vibrant, thrilling blend of turn-based and real-time combat. It adds a fresh layer of excitement to the nostalgia you've cherished for years. The lush and visually stunning world of Midgar truly comes to life.

However, the question remains: is this truly a remake? Or is it an adventurous reimagination? For fans who wanted a note-for-note replica of the original, it may not tick all the boxes. The inclusion of new and unexpected twists challenges preconceptions.

So, is it perfect? Well, far from it. It's a reimagining of a classic, one that might alter your perceptions of what a remake can be. The revamped combat, the captivating characters, and the jaw-dropping visuals all contribute to an experience worth exploring. But the mystifying name changes and plot twists may leave some fans scratching their heads.

For Final Fantasy VII Remake, I'll award it a 6 out of 10. In the end, it's not what you expected, but it might be precisely what the series needs to evolve and captivate a new generation. It's an odd journey for Cloud, Tifa, Barret, and Aerith, but it's one worth experiencing.

In the twisted beats of Rhythm Heaven, Light Yagami might find himself out of sync. No Death Note could orchestrate the perfect rhythm this game demands. In the world of catchy tunes and quirky characters, even the God of the New World might take a break from his dark endeavors. Rhythm Heaven would probably be too lighthearted for someone with such a grim worldview. Score: 5/10.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, the ultimate gatekeeper of gaming achievements. This game's existence seems solely to check whether you've conquered the gaming realm. If you've never beaten a Pokémon game but claim to be a Smash enthusiast, you might find yourself exiled. The character roster is a parade of gaming icons, each fighter a living testament to their gaming legacy.

The reason for this game's existence? It's not just to brawl; it's to measure your gaming mettle. From Mario's exploits in Super Mario 64 DS to Sonic's adventures in Sonic Adventure 2: Battle, each character embodies gaming history. And if you haven't conquered the source games of certain characters, well, Smash Bros might not be for you. It's more than a game; it's a reckoning of your gaming conquests.

Score: 9.5/10

YUME NIKKI 🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃

Score: 8/10

SuperHot VR is a mind-bending trip into the world of virtual reality, where time only moves when you do. It's like being Neo in The Matrix, except you're actually just standing in your living room waving your arms around. The game's unique mechanic adds a new layer of strategy to the FPS genre, forcing players to think and act quickly to survive. The minimalist art style and immersive gameplay make it a must-play for VR enthusiasts. Just be warned, if you're colorblind like my duck, you might have some trouble with the game's color-based puzzles. But overall, SuperHot VR is a game that's sure to get your heart racing and your adrenaline pumping.

Score: 9/10

Super Smash Bros. Melee, oh man, it's a wild ride of wavedashing, L-canceling, and the infamous Eskimo Entanglement. If you don't know how to perform the Koopabackdashwaveslide Hoverwalkmoonland, you might want to hit up this wiki page for a crash course: https://unanything.fandom.com/wiki/Koopabackdashwaveslide_Hoverwalkmoonland. The game is like a symphony of chaotic moves, and if you're not into that, well, tough luck.

It's not just a game; it's a lifestyle. The competitive scene might seem like obnoxious man children screaming over glitches, but it's an art form, a dance of pixels and precision. If you're in for a glitchy mess and the thrill of mastering absurdly complex moves, then Super Smash Bros. Melee is the game for you.

Score: 8.5/10

Absolutely infuriating! How could these inept developers omit Ike's legendary breakdancing prowess? It's akin to serving a pizza without cheese or playing a game without a controller! Unbelievable! The absence of Ike's iconic breakdancing moves in Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn is an unforgivable oversight, leaving me with a profound sense of disappointment and frustration.

It's as though the developers invited you to a grand feast but then forgot to serve the main course. Ike's breakdancing moves were a defining aspect of his character, and their absence in this game is a grievous error. Nintendo must urgently enlist the help of Red Math to rectify this colossal mistake and restore the essence of Fire Emblem to its former glory.

Without Ike's signature breakdancing, Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn feels like a half-hearted attempt, leaving fans yearning for the true essence of the series. I can only hope that future installments will not repeat this egregious blunder. The score for this game is a mere 2 out of 10, as it fails to capture the essence of the Fire Emblem experience without Ike's iconic moves.

Dive into the intricate world of Fate/stay night, where philosophical dilemmas and fantasy intertwine to create a unique narrative experience. This visual novel weaves a tale of heroic spirits, complex characters, and a multitude of branching paths, giving players a chance to explore a multitude of scenarios and endings. Embark on an adventure that questions morality, ideals, and the very essence of one's beliefs.

At first glance, the humorous observation that "Shirou rhymes with goat" might seem playful, but there's a deeper truth to it. Our protagonist, Shirou Emiya, carries the weight of his ideals with unwavering determination, just like the greatest of heroes. The quote "If you walk down the path that you believe is right, you cannot be wrong," attributed to Shirou, encapsulates the core theme of the story – the unwavering pursuit of one's beliefs despite the odds.

While some aspects of the series may have left a sour taste in some mouths, it's important to acknowledge that Fate/stay night explores profound themes through its characters' struggles and triumphs. Shirou's journey to save others, driven by his survivors' guilt, is a central plot element that drives his character arc. The contrast between his ideals and the grim reality of his situation adds depth to his development, even if some moments may have caused frustration for viewers.

The relationships between characters, while occasionally resembling harem dynamics, also provide insight into the complexity of human emotions and connections. Saber, Archer, Rin, and other key figures contribute to the rich tapestry of the story, each bringing their own perspectives and struggles to the forefront. It's worth noting that the character arcs can take unexpected turns, making it a fascinating ride for players invested in their stories.

It's true that some of the choices and outcomes might seem paradoxical or counterintuitive. However, the game's narrative structure is designed to challenge players' preconceived notions and expectations. While Shirou's choices may appear puzzling at times, they align with his ideals, creating a thought-provoking narrative that pushes players to contemplate their own beliefs and perspectives.

Overall, Fate/stay night offers a complex and intricate storyline that delves into philosophical concepts while maintaining a fantasy adventure setting. Its multidimensional characters and thought-provoking scenarios make it a must-play for fans of intricate storytelling. While it may not cater to everyone's tastes, it succeeds in creating a memorable experience that invites players to explore the blurred lines between right and wrong.

So, fellow adventurers, prepare to step into the world of Fate/stay night and discover the complexities of fate, beliefs, and the power of choice.

Score: 7/10

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat is a game that delivers an unforgettable experience in the desolate and hauntingly beautiful landscapes of the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone. The atmosphere is incredibly immersive, drawing you into a world where danger lurks around every corner. The Bush Arc, in particular, stands out as a highlight, offering intense and thrilling gameplay that keeps you on the edge of your seat. The storytelling is also commendable, with memorable moments that stay with you long after you've finished playing. However, there are some aspects, like the visual quality, that could use improvement. Despite this, S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat is a must-play for fans of the series and anyone looking for a gripping, atmospheric adventure.

Score: 8 out of 10

My House isn't just a map; it's a mind-bending journey through the twisted labyrinth of Mackola's creativity. The symbolism, from the sinks to the dark world, is a testament to the chaotic nature of the Shovelware experience. The random skulls, evil dog encounters, and the greyscale journey culminating in a showdown with Shrek (standing in for Duds__) in a Shovelware graveyard create an immersive experience. This map is more than a tribute; it's a psychedelic trip into Mackola's world. Rating it is an insult; it transcends conventional scoring, deserving recognition as a unique expression of gaming art.

Score: Scale not high enough, transcends convential scoring

Sonic Mania proves that sometimes, to make a truly great Sonic game, you might need to leave Sega out of the equation entirely. This game is a pleasant surprise in the Sonic franchise, a series notorious for its uneven quality over the years.

The sheer joy of Sonic Mania becomes evident when you realize that you could've been watching more Sonic Mania gameplay instead of enduring subpar content. It's a game that makes you "wow" as it rediscovers the essence of what makes Sonic so beloved. And what's even more remarkable? It had nothing to do with Sega's usual meddling. The gameplay is a nostalgic throwback to the classic Sonic adventures, perfectly capturing the essence of the original titles.

In stark contrast to the disappointment of a "missing children review," Sonic Mania stands as a shining example of how to revitalize a franchise. It's anything but "dogshit" and easily ranks among the best Sonic games in existence. The level design, music, and overall presentation are all meticulously crafted, reminding players of what made Sonic a gaming icon in the first place.

When you finally get to experience the pure, unadulterated fun of Sonic Mania, you'll find yourself echoing the sentiments of Akihiko from Persona 3: "I've been waiting for this." The gameplay is smooth, the levels are expertly designed, and it's an absolute blast to play.

One can't help but wonder how Sonic Mania achieved what so many other Sonic games failed to. The answer is simple: Sonic Team had nothing to do with the development. This game dared to ask the question, "What if Sonic was actually good?" And it delivered a resounding "yes." Sonic Mania is a delightful return to form for the blue hedgehog and a must-play for fans of the franchise and newcomers alike.

Score: 9/10

Wii Sports Resort offers a diverse array of mini-games set on the picturesque Wuhu Island. One standout feature is the ability to perform the "double points dance," which does not actually make you murder your opponents with a wooden stick but instead adds an element of fun and competition to the gameplay. The basketball mini-game, while not everyone's favorite, provides a unique challenge, especially with its "stay still" variant, which requires strategic positioning and timing rather than simply waggling the controller.

One criticism of the game is the lack of complicated math as an essential mechanic, which may disappointed me as a fan of more complex sports games. However, I understand this simplicity is part of Wii Sports Resort's charm.

Allow me to weigh in on an evergoing debate that the Miis on Wuhu Island should be given the death penalty, while I understand the perspective of that position, I personally disagree with that notion. Wii Sports Resort is a fun and engaging game that showcases the capabilities of the Wii MotionPlus controller and provides hours of entertainment for players.

Score: 8/10

Mario Kart: Double Dash!! is a bit of a polarizing experience. On one hand, it's hailed as the greatest Mario Kart game by some, with intense competition and a reliance on picking top-tier characters. But, on the other hand, it can be incredibly frustrating. Luck seems to play a big role, and when things go awry, it's easy to blame Rabbid rules and certain less-than-stellar tracks like Daisy Cruise and Yoshi Circuit. In some cases, this game feels like a rollercoaster ride – either a masterpiece or a complete disaster. With all its quirks and polarized opinions, I'd say it deserves a 7/10.

By the way, when it comes to picking Wario – it feels like it takes a lifetime! What the hell, Nintendo!?

R4 Ridge Racer Type 4 offers a nostalgic racing experience with its classic gameplay and impressive soundtrack. While the game may have some issues, such as potential bugs or glitches, its main menu music is undeniably fantastic, ranking among some of the best in gaming. The fast-paced racing action is complemented by a soundtrack that enhances the overall experience, immersing players in the adrenaline-pumping world of Ridge Racer. Despite any shortcomings, the game's music alone makes it worth a playthrough for fans of racing games and great soundtracks.

Score: 8/10

Fear & Hunger, oh boy, this game is not for the faint of heart. If you struggle at this game, it WILL call you a pathetic casual, but hey, that's all part of the charm, am I right? Yoko Taro was reportedly proud of this game's dark and twisted narrative, and if Reggie Fils-Amie added, "If it's not fun, why bother?"

This game isn't about relaxation; it's about pushing your limits, embracing the fear, and battling through the darkness. Sure, it's not everyone's cup of tea, but for those seeking a challenge that goes beyond the norm, Fear & Hunger delivers. Just don't expect a walk in the park – this game is more like a sprint through a haunted forest.

Score: 8/10

Emerald...Splash. Here I am, standing on the precipice of an alternate reality – one where the martial art of Stand-fighting reigns supreme. It all began when we introduced someone who knows karate into the fray, but little did we know, it was the catalyst for an epic transformation.

So, picture this – I've spent years mastering my Stand, Hierophant Green. But one day, something changed. A new contender arrived on the scene, a so-called "Gun Girl." She was packing heat, and not just any heat – it was a barrage of bullets. I watched in awe as she unleashed a relentless combination of Dash Attack -> Shoot -> Dash Attack -> Shoot -> Dash Attack -> Reload.

It was like watching a new form of Stand-fighting, where gunplay and martial arts clashed. And the world was transformed. We all began to realize that our decades of mastering karate were in vain. It wasn't about who could throw the most precise punch anymore; it was about firepower and precision, guns taking the upper hand.

Banks, once thought to be impenetrable fortresses, were now facing an entirely new threat – armed robberies on a massive scale. No more "Ora Ora Ora" – it was all "Brrrrrrrrrrrr." The world's economy plunged into uncertainty, and those who once made a living from karate dojos had to reinvent themselves as gunsmiths.

The most significant loss in this transformation? The United States. A country renowned for its karate abilities, one with the most powerful military, suddenly had to abandon its martial prowess. They tried karate nukes, but even those couldn't stand against the power of firearms. America, once a titan, was reduced to a shadow of its former self, its economy losing trillions of enkidollars.

On the other side of this alternate reality, the Japanese stood resolute, holding onto their gun culture. They remained loyal to their weapons and swiftly adapted to the new era. Even after facing numerous karate nukes from America, they persevered, transforming into the world's most powerful military.

And amid this chaos, there was a curious moment. Neco-Arc, that mischievous character from the Type-Moon universe, couldn't help but celebrate the insanity of it all with her whimsical dance, as if to say, "This is a world where anything goes."

And thus,, I witnessed the transformation of a world where karate once reigned supreme into a place where gunplay took over. An alternate reality I never thought I'd see. It's like a Stand battle where the rules have been completely rewritten. So, prepare yourself, for this is an adventure that will have you training for another 200 years if you want to make sense of it all.

Score: 9/10

Mario Kart Wii, or as I like to call it, the poor mod for Cocoto Kart Racer, is plagued by the disastrous decision to implement Rabbid Rules. The Bullet Bill meta allows lazy players to win without any skill, and Madman Mackola's so-called "meta tactics" only exacerbate the issues. It's essentially a broken mess that crashes whenever you try to make an epic comeback. Comparisons to life's struggles are laughable; it's just a video game. Let's face it; there are better ways to spend your time, like not playing this crash-prone disaster and opting for a more worthwhile experience like Final Fantasy XIV. An abysmal 4 out of 10 for this failed attempt at Mario Kart greatness.

In a world filled with shovelware and a madman hell-bent on making you endure it, Persona 3 Portable is your beacon of hope, a reminder that having a beloved game at your fingertips can be a lifesaver. But be warned, should the madman grow audacious and corner you with shovelware in those moments away from your trusty PC, the consequences can be dire. If you lack your game on a mobile device, it might be time to say your goodbyes. You'll need the solace of your cherished Persona as much as you need air to breathe.

This reimagined iteration of Persona 3 presents an intriguing blend of familiar storytelling with some notable twists and trade-offs. It's certainly not the definitive version of the game, but it carves out its unique niche in the Persona series.

The most significant alteration here is the ability to choose a female protagonist, offering a different perspective on the narrative and introducing new social links. It's a divisive change, and I'd argue that it's the weakest route in the game, altering Shinjiro's character arc in a way that is unsatisfying. This decision will likely polarize players - you might love the new perspective, or you might wish it had been left untouched.

It's worth noting that Persona 3 Portable isn't the definitive version of the game. It lacks the animated cutscenes of the original and some aspects of the game's presentation feel dated. For those hoping to see the same level of cinematic storytelling found in more recent Persona titles, it might fall short.

But it's not all shadows and no substance. The game's core mechanics, the addictive blend of life simulation and turn-based dungeon crawling, remain as engaging as ever. The Social Link system is still a standout feature, allowing you to forge bonds with your fellow students and build a richer narrative experience. It's these elements that make the Persona series so unique, and they're still at the forefront of Persona 3 Portable.

One key consideration is the modern port of the game, which has its share of issues. However, at least on PC, there are dedicated modders and fans who have taken it upon themselves to fix some of these problems and enhance the experience. You may find that with the right mods, it can become the definitive way to experience this chapter in the Persona saga.

In the end, Persona 3 Portable may not be the definitive version of the game, and it certainly shakes up some established elements. However, its unique features and the ability to take the Persona experience on the go can be a refreshing take on a beloved classic. It's not quite stirred to perfection, but it's far from a disappointment.

For Persona 3 Portable, I'll award it a 7 out of 10. It's an alternative perspective on a great story, worth trying for those willing to embrace change in the world of Persona.

WarioWare: Smooth Moves is a quirky, off-the-wall adventure that'll have you questioning reality and laughing hysterically at the same time. While some might deny its existence (seriously, who's ever heard of it?), those in the know understand its zany appeal.

This game is like stumbling into an alternate dimension where chaos reigns supreme, and Wario is your mischievous guide. With its unique microgames and unconventional controls, it's a wild ride from start to finish. Whether you're racing against the clock or trying to figure out what exactly you're supposed to be doing, each microgame offers a fresh and unexpected challenge.

Sure, it may not be as legendary as its sequel, WarioWare: Shove It Up Your Own Ass Game (seriously, who comes up with these names?), but Smooth Moves holds its own as a wacky, unforgettable experience. So, if you're ready to embrace the absurdity and dive headfirst into the chaos, give WarioWare: Smooth Moves a spin. Just don't be surprised if you find yourself questioning reality along the way.

Score: 8/10

Holocure: Save the Fans! plunges players into the enchanting world of VTubers, where kawaii desu desu vibes and over-the-top expressions reign supreme. This game is an unabashed celebration of the quirky and endearing culture surrounding virtual YouTubers, offering a unique experience for fans of the phenomenon. With characters embodying various anime tropes like onii-chan, tsundere, and yandere, Holocure serves up a delightful dose of Japanese pop culture.

The gameplay, while not groundbreaking, captures the essence of the VTuber universe. The developers did a commendable job incorporating elements that resonate with fans, from the tsundere interactions to the ever-present onii-chan references. The soundtrack, featuring a blend of catchy J-pop tunes and inspirational lyrics, adds a fitting backdrop to the VTuber spectacle. However, the game's narrow focus on VTuber culture may limit its appeal to those outside the fanbase.

While Holocure: Save the Fans! is undoubtedly a niche experience, it successfully caters to the fervent VTuber enthusiasts who appreciate the playful charm of virtual personalities. Its limited scope and niche appeal might hinder broader success, but for fans deeply entrenched in VTuber culture, it provides a heartwarming journey into the world of kawaii dreams. Score: 7/10.

Donkey Kong Country Returns, or as I'd like to call it, Kaizo Kong nightmare edition, throws players into levels of absurd difficulty. The absence of King K. Rool leaves a Kong-sized hole in the experience, and the call to "TURN THIS SHIT OFF" echoes the frustration. Suddenly, the game takes an unexpected turn, as you turn it off and switch to Fanta Fall Guys 14 as its naturally the superior platformer. The Miz and Madman Mackola's antics adds a layer of chaos. This game is a rollercoaster, but let's be real—Fanta Fall Guys 14 is far superior. Final score? Forget DK; let's give this a solid 8 out of 10 for the unexpected entertainment.

In the world of zombie apocalypse survival games, Left 4 Dead 2 brings a unique twist that sometimes makes you question your choices. However, I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the chibi cat character breaking into a Gangnam Style dance when picking up an Amougus (or, should I say, an "Among Us" item). It's a peculiar and unexpected sight in a game known for its intense zombie battles. This bizarre addition might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it adds a dash of humor to the otherwise grim setting.

Now, let me give you a "Plantation survival" tip and be sure to take it seriously. Don't even think about going full "billymax" on it. Survival in Left 4 Dead 2 demands teamwork, strategy, and adaptability. Rushing headlong, guns blazing, might work in some games, but it's a sure way to meet a gruesome end in this one.

Score: 7/10

Now, if only Nintendo would get on board with the unconventional power-up ideas. Picture this: Mario dons a Weezer-themed suit, complete with a Rivers Cuomo hat and a guitar that can defeat enemies with sonic waves. It's a missed opportunity for synergy, Nintendo. And let's not forget the Lovejoy or Demondice power-ups, each with their unique pros and cons. But if you really want to challenge yourself, switch to Tom MacDonald mode, where you're restricted to goomba-killing duty and prohibited from taking down those pesky boo's. It's a weird world, but in the end, Mario prevails. 7/10.

"POOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIRRRYYYYYAAAA" - the iconic battle cry that echoes through the bizarre world of Xenoblade Chronicles 2. The voice acting in this game is so wildly inconsistent that it transcends the boundaries of cringe and becomes a surreal masterpiece. Pyra's constant "POOIIIRRAAAAAAAAAAA" is either an intentional artistic choice or a spectacular failure, depending on how you interpret it. But hey, do you even play video games if you're not experiencing this rollercoaster of emotions? Some might say it's just porn, but it's the kind of porn that involves questionable voice acting and sword-wielding anime characters. Xenoblade Chronicles 2 earns a 9/10 for daring to be different and leaving players questioning their existence in the most entertaining way possible.

To truly appreciate Guilty Gear Strive, you need to approach it with a certain level of understanding and appreciation for its intricacies. Much like vaping, the game's depth and complexity might not be immediately apparent to everyone. The stunning visuals, tight gameplay, and unique character roster require a level of skill and insight that goes beyond simple button-mashing. Just as vaping enthusiasts have a deep appreciation for the art of blowing clouds, fans of Guilty Gear Strive understand the nuances of its combat system and character interactions. Those who dismiss it as just another fighting game are missing out on something truly special. Guilty Gear Strive is not just a game; it's a statement, a philosophy, a way of life. So, while some may not understand it, for those who do, it's an experience like no other.

Score: 8/10

Team Fortress 2, a game that has garnered a dedicated following over the years, finds itself in a unique position within the gaming landscape. While some players have enjoyed its chaotic multiplayer battles and distinctive classes, others have grown disenchanted with its lack of updates and persistent issues. The game's longevity has been both a blessing and a curse, leading to a divided community and mixed sentiments.

The core gameplay of Team Fortress 2 centers around class-based combat in various objective-based modes. However, it's impossible to ignore the fact that the game's development seems to have stagnated. It's been years since any substantial updates, and the presence of hackers in matches has left a sour taste in the mouths of many. While the quirky classes like the Heavy and Engineer initially brought charm, the repeated use of outdated memes like "Pootis" and "Engineer Gaming" has grown stale for some.

Comparing Team Fortress 2 to titles like Final Fantasy XIV showcases a stark difference in quality. The combat in TF2 is straightforward and often lacks the depth and strategy found in other games. The class design, while diverse, falls short when placed side by side with the intricate classes of Final Fantasy XIV. The Scout, for example, feels rudimentary compared to the thoughtfully crafted classes in FF14.

Community dynamics also play a role in shaping the experience. Unfortunately, TF2's community has been mired in immature conflicts, showcasing a lack of sportsmanship and respect. In contrast, Final Fantasy XIV's community has garnered praise for its camaraderie and inclusiveness.

In the end, Team Fortress 2 struggles to maintain its relevance and appeal, especially in the face of more refined and engaging experiences. Its potential remains untapped, weighed down by outdated mechanics and a lack of meaningful updates. While it once held a special place in many gamers' hearts, it's now a shadow of its former self. Rating: 6.2/10

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Score: 2/10

Skyrim's on two PCs, Wii, Atari too,
Gamepass, VHS, Moses' tablets, it's true.
Todd Howard, thanks, but this game's worn thin,
Mods keep it fresh, but where’s Elder Scrolls 6 been?

"Oh, you’re finally awake," in my head, it’s a chant,
Command prompts can’t save me, escape I can’t grant.
Dawnguard’s the peak, but Fraud Coward stalls,
Release Elder Scrolls 6, hear our desperate calls.

Mod Cowtard speaks, "New funky mode’s in town,
Skyrim Remastered, Final Mix goin' down."
I’d rather play Tetris, clear lines, no grind,
Skyrim’s re-releases, losing my mind.

Wholesome Reddit Chungus, you’ve been alerted,
This game’s undead, my patience’s been diverted.
It's legendary, sure, but let it rest,
6 outta 10, now give us the best.

I LOVE Tsukihime

Tsukihime is a masterpiece in visual novel storytelling, captivating players with its dark and immersive narrative. Released in December 2000 by Type-Moon, this game takes players on a journey through the supernatural, following the protagonist Shiki Tohno as he grapples with his newfound ability to see "death lines" and the consequences of his actions.

The world of Tsukihime is richly detailed, with intricate lore and captivating characters that draw players in from the start. Each decision made by the player shapes the outcome of the story, leading to multiple branching paths and endings to explore. The game's atmospheric soundtrack sets the mood perfectly, enhancing the emotional impact of key moments throughout the narrative.

Tsukihime isn't afraid to delve into mature themes, including explicit content depicted in NSFW CGs. These scenes, while controversial, add depth to the story and character development, showcasing the game's willingness to push boundaries and challenge players' expectations.

Additionally, the inclusion of NSFW CGs are a form of revenge for spoilers, such as Shirou Emiya's death, this adds an intriguing layer to the game's mechanics. This mechanic allows players to engage with the story in a unique way, using explicit content as a means of retaliation for spoiling the game's narrative framework.

Overall, Tsukihime is a must-play visual novel for fans of the genre. Its gripping story, memorable characters, stunning artwork, and innovative gameplay mechanics make it a standout title that continues to captivate players even years after its initial release.

Score: 9.5/10

Bloons TD 6? More like Bloons TD Missed It All!

Bloons TD 6 brings me back to the days when I'd waste hours playing cruddy flash games on Coolmathgames.com in grade school. Yes, the monkey-driven madness is still here, but honestly, what's the appeal? I mean, who's got time to pop balloons when you could be off on grand adventures in Final Fantamid or Midsona 5 Royal? It's like trading a gourmet meal for a soggy sandwich.

Remember those nostalgic mobile games from the early 2000s? Well, even those are leagues better than Bloons TD 6. But some folks just can't resist the lure of those colorful balloons, I guess. Seriously, it's as if all of my friends have been abducted by these rubber menaces. The fact that many are too busy with this monetized nonsense instead of coming to say hi is nothing short of infuriating.

The saddest part is that while the world is waiting for the next big gaming experience, he's clicking away at bloons. Shitty mobile games from the early 2000s, with all their pixelated charm and simplicity, are like timeless classics compared to this. I don't get it. It's like saying you'd rather eat ramen noodles every day when a gourmet feast awaits.

Sorry, Bloons TD 6, but I can't give you more than a 3 out of 10. Holy freaking balloons, it's a mess!

If I were to reimagine Super Smash Bros. Brawl and make it truly epic, it would deserve a 20 out of 10! Let's dive into the idea of Fate in Smash, shall we?

Imagine this: the roster includes all your favorite video game characters, not just Nintendo's all-stars. You've got the Fate series' heroes and villains, with Saber, Archer, and Rider duking it out alongside Mario and Sonic. Each character comes with their unique Noble Phantasm or Super Smash ability, adding a whole new level of strategy and excitement to the battles.

The stages would transport you to iconic locations from the Fate series, with epic backdrops and shifting environments. Plus, there'd be an engaging story mode that combines the thrilling narratives of Fate with the chaotic multiverse of Smash. Players would embark on a quest that could rival the Subspace Emissary's charm.

In this ultimate version of Smash Brawl, the battles wouldn't be marred by awkward tripping mechanics or overly floaty jumps. They'd be intense, fast-paced, and highly competitive. The game would keep you hooked for hours on end, providing endless enjoyment for both casual players and esports enthusiasts.

While this is just a dream, it's a testament to the potential that Super Smash Bros. Brawl had. If only it had embraced some of these ideas, it could have been a truly legendary game.

For Super Smash Bros. Brawl, I would give the real game a score of 7 out of 10. While it had its share of issues, including slower gameplay and the controversial tripping mechanic, it still provided an enjoyable experience with its extensive character roster and exciting battles. The addition of new characters like Sonic and Solid Snake, as well as the Subspace Emissary adventure mode, added value to the game. It remained a popular choice for multiplayer brawls and party gaming.

Waltuh, oh Waltuh, you can't escape the Nintendo Ninjas, especially when playing Mario Kart Black. Unlicensed music in a Mario mod? That's a bold move, but hey, maybe Walter White can save you. Slap his face on the cover and hope the Nintendo Ninjas mistake it for some Breaking Bad spinoff. It's shovelware, but with a twist. Waltuh, my man, you're in deep now. VPN or not, those ninjas know. So, let's race through the legal loopholes and dodge the copyright claims. In the end, it's an exhilarating ride with consequences. Waltuh, use a VPN next time. 6/10 for the thrill and impending danger.

Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin is an absolute trip! Who would have thought Kanye West would make a surprise appearance, screaming about Tracer, the Scout, and working things out? And the monsters deciding to off themselves, echoing the fate of the main character's father? It's a wild ride, and that's not even in the game!

But let's get real, the actual game is fantastic too. The intricate story, the epic battles, and the emotional rollercoaster of monster hunting are all top-notch. Even without the Kanye cameo, the game offers a gripping experience that keeps you on the edge of your seat. If you're into monster hunting and unexpected celebrity shoutouts, this game is a must-play.

Score: 9.5/10

Metro: Last Light Redux is a trip through the darkened corridors of post-apocalyptic madness, and somewhere along the way, we stumbled into the chaotic carnival of Mario Party. Picture this: mutated creatures replaced by adorable characters, bullets swapped with dice rolls, and gas masks with party hats. It's a fever dream crossover you never knew you needed.

Survival in the Metro might be a desperate dance, but surviving the cutthroat competition of Mario Party is a whole other level of madness. The narrative? More like the narrative chaos of arguing with your friends over who stole your star. Metro: Last Light Redux – where the shadows hold secrets, and the Mario Party madness is just a pipe warp away.

Score: 9.7/10

Ronaldo's SIUUU may be missing from Wii Sports, but the game itself is a true victory dance. Whether swinging a virtual tennis racket or bowling a strike, Wii Sports brings an engaging physicality to gaming. The simplicity and accessibility make it a timeless classic, bringing people of all ages together for some friendly competition. While it may lack Ronaldo's iconic celebration, Wii Sports deserves a solid 9/10 for its innovative approach and enduring appeal.

Mario Party 6, the puppet master of friendships, tearing alliances apart one star at a time. The dogshit rollercoaster of emotions, as you oscillate between joy and pure frustration, is what makes this game a twisted masterpiece. It's not about winning; it's about surviving the onslaught of merciless mini-games and board events. Cheggars party quiz? Please, that's a kiddie pool compared to the shark-infested waters of Mario Party 6. Embrace the chaos, relish the dogshit, and remember, it's not personal; it's just Mario Party. 9/10 for the sheer audacity of ruining friendships with a smile.

The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners is a mess of shovelware, a reminder of a time when we weren't inundated with garbage games. The zombies move at a snail's pace, making them more of a nuisance than a threat. The inability to kill NPCs adds an unnecessary layer of frustration, but if you glitch the game enough, you can bypass this limitation, which is both amusing and indicative of the game's lack of polish. Overall, a forgettable experience that fails to live up to its potential.

Score: 4/10

Melty Blood Actress Again, my friend, is a game that demands your attention in the fighting game realm. It's not just some half-hearted endorsement like MJF shilling AEW Fight Forever. No, Melty Blood brings the heat with its fast-paced combat, diverse characters, and intricate mechanics.

Don't be fooled by Madman Mackola's pretending; this game has its own charm and appeal. The forced smiles and contractual obligations don't apply here. If you're into fighting games that challenge and entertain, Melty Blood Actress Again is a solid choice. Give it a shot and let the combat do the talking.

Score: 9/10

Tekken 7, the latest installment in the iconic fighting game series, brings together a colorful cast of characters to engage in intense battles that span both martial arts and martial styles. The game introduces us to the epic rivalry of "EEEEEHHHHH!" and Slap Bear, a feud that has captured the attention of players worldwide.

At its core, Tekken 7 delivers the thrilling gameplay the series is known for, with its fast-paced combat and diverse move sets. The roster is rich with unique fighters, each representing their own fighting style and personality. From the gravity-defying moves of "EEEEEHHHHH!" to the hard-hitting antics of Slap Bear, every character brings a distinct flavor to the battles.

The rivalry between "EEEEEHHHHH!" and Slap Bear stands out as a highlight, showcasing the clash between traditional martial arts and unconventional brawling. The amusing banter and fierce competition between these two rivals add a layer of entertainment that goes beyond the combat itself.

The addition of Neko-chan, the enigmatic E-Girl, adds an intriguing twist to the game, albeit accompanied by the inevitable online discussions surrounding her. Her unique abilities and playstyle offer a fresh perspective on the battles, appealing to players looking for something unconventional.

The inclusion of paid DLC characters like the Hot Topic Final Fantasy boy and Enkidu's daughter may raise some eyebrows, but they contribute to the game's diversity and the ever-evolving roster. While Enkidu's daughter may not have learned karate from her pops, she still brings her own style to the ring, even if it doesn't align with traditional karate techniques.

Graphically, Tekken 7 maintains the series' standard of excellence, with detailed character models and dynamic environments that enhance the immersive experience. The fighting mechanics are solid and responsive, allowing both newcomers and veterans to enjoy the gameplay and experiment with different strategies.

However, there are instances where the repetitive nature of certain moves, like "DOING THE SAME ATTACK 15 TIMES," can become a point of contention. While this can be seen as part of the game's strategy, it may also lead to frustrating encounters, particularly in competitive settings.

In conclusion, Tekken 7 offers an exciting continuation of the franchise, delivering a diverse roster, engaging battles, and memorable rivalries. The clashes between martial arts and martial styles bring a unique flavor to the game, and while the inclusion of certain DLC characters might raise some questions, they contribute to the game's variety. With its eye-catching visuals, entertaining character dynamics, and engaging combat, Tekken 7 secures its place as a strong contender in the world of fighting games.

Score: 8/10

Ape Escape 2, the sequel to the beloved Ape Escape series, unleashes a frenzy of primate pandemonium once again. Or does it? Amidst the chaos, confusion, and conspiracies, one can't help but wonder: is this a brilliant mod or a new installment? Let's dive into the wild world of Ape Escape 2 and decipher the monkey madness.

The game thrusts you into an adventure where you must recapture those mischievous apes, who, against all logic, seem to be perpetually escaping. Yet, a shadow of doubt looms: could this be an elaborate ruse or a misguided attempt at a sequel? The skepticism seems to stem from the sheer disbelief that the apes could escape yet again, raising suspicions of a grand scheme at play.

The narrative intricacies aside, Ape Escape 2 retains the quirky charm that fans adore. Navigating through inventive levels and employing an array of gadgets to round up the simian escapees delivers a nostalgic experience. The game manages to capture the essence of its predecessor while introducing new elements that keep the formula fresh.

While the confusion surrounding the game's identity adds an air of mystery, it doesn't deter from the gameplay itself. The controls are responsive, the environments are colorful and engaging, and the sheer joy of corralling the apes back into captivity is as satisfying as ever. The game offers a blend of platforming, puzzle-solving, and light-hearted humor that keeps players engaged from start to finish.

The iconic monkey-catching gameplay remains the heart of Ape Escape 2, making it a must-play for fans of the series and newcomers alike. Whether this is a genuine sequel or a clever imitation, the game's fun factor can't be denied.

So, as the apes continue their seemingly endless quest for freedom, and doubts persist about the legitimacy of Ape Escape 2, there's one thing that's certain: the appeal of wrangling these escapade-loving monkeys endures. The chaos, the confusion, and the conspiracies only add to the allure, creating an experience that's as entertaining as it is enigmatic. Whether it's an official sequel or a mod, Ape Escape 2 delivers monkey madness that's worth the ride.

Score 8/10

hey, you… come here… mhm, just a little closer… husshhh… it's okay, I'm here…

Here, let me hold you…

See? Doesn't that feel better?

Gooood game〜 yeah, you are! Gooood game〜

Hehe, I see that little smile! D'aww, don't hide it from me! Don't be fussy, it's okay…

Score: 9/10

TowerFall Ascension, a game that defies the odds, turns out to be a decent surprise, contradicting initial expectations of falling into the abyss of nightmarish shovelware. The inclusion of homing arrows and drill arrows, while cheap, contributes to the thrill, akin to the chaos induced by TF2's notorious aimbot snipers. It's a game that caught me off guard, and in the ever-evolving landscape of gaming, TowerFall Ascension stands as a testament to the unpredictable gems one can stumble upon. Score: 8/10.

Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin, man, it's like a perfect symphony of farming and combat. You know, it's like when Anthony Fantano says, "I'm thinking... a 10" – that's how good this game is. It's not just a game; it's an experience. The way it combines the serene art of rice cultivation with kick-ass combat is mind-blowing.

Fantano would probably give it a 10 just for the sheer creativity and uniqueness. The visuals, the storyline, the whole vibe – it's a masterpiece. Sakuna doesn't just entertain; it immerses you in a world where growing rice is as thrilling as kicking demon butt. If Anthony Fantano were reviewing Sakuna, he'd likely give it that coveted 10, he's not here to do so, so I'll have to take the wheel instead:

I'm thinking... a 10

Final Fantasy XIV, a realm reborn from the ashes of mediocrity, stands as a testament to the power of dedication and genuine care for the gaming community. In a landscape often tainted by subpar shovelware, FFXIV rises like a phoenix, showcasing the true potential of what an MMORPG can be.
From the moment you step into the breathtaking landscapes of Eorzea, you're greeted with an awe-inspiring world that beckons exploration and adventure. Each update is a testament to the developers' commitment to delivering a rich, immersive experience that captivates players. The constant influx of new content ensures that FFXIV never feels stagnant, offering a wealth of gameplay and narrative to sink your teeth into.
One of the most remarkable aspects of FFXIV is its vibrant player base. The sense of community and camaraderie is palpable, a stark contrast to the toxic environments often found in other online games. The absence of youtuber predators and a commitment to fostering a safe space for players contribute to a welcoming atmosphere.
The game's cosmetics, which glow with an ethereal allure, don't come with a hefty price tag, a refreshing departure from the microtransaction-driven culture prevalent in the gaming industry. The diligent developers listen to the community's feedback, resulting in a game that's constantly evolving and improving based on player input.
While FFXIV shines brightly, even the brilliance of Eorzea can't escape comparisons to other beloved franchises. The expectations set by the Fire Emblem series are lofty indeed, and FFXIV, while exceptional in its own right, faces the unenviable task of matching the iconic Fire Emblem: Fire and Ice.
In contrast, the disappointment expressed by certain players is rooted in a longing for what once was. The game's evolution, while embraced by many, doesn't resonate with everyone, and the shift in narrative focus has left some fans yearning for the days of Rivers Cuomo and his unique journey. The combat alterations, while attempting to bring new dynamics, have divided opinions and sparked nostalgia for the telekinetic battles of yore.
In the end, Final Fantasy XIV is a triumph that exemplifies the potential of what an MMORPG can achieve. Its engrossing world, abundant content, and dedicated community make it a standout title in the genre. While it may not fulfill the expectations of being Fire Emblem: Fire and Ice, it carves its own path of excellence. Rating: 9.0/10

WarioWare: Move It! is a game that will leave you speechless, and not in a good way. The game introduces a new feature where the female TikTok text-to-speech voice narrates some of the actions, but unfortunately, it's execution has mixed results. I find the voice super annoying, with its exaggerated emphasis on random words and an overall uncanny tone. This choice has led to a polarizing effect, leading to me outright skipping videos featuring this voice. It's a shame that such a small aspect of the game can bring such negative vibes, overshadowing an otherwise enjoyable experience.

Score: 5/10

While Super Mario Maker 2 may not quite live up to the masterpieces created in other games like TF2, it still offers an impressive and creative canvas for Mario fans to express themselves.

This game is all about giving players the tools to craft their own Mario levels, and it excels in this regard. The level editor is robust and user-friendly, allowing both newcomers and experienced designers to bring their ideas to life. Whether you want to build a challenging platforming gauntlet or a whimsical, puzzle-filled adventure, Super Mario Maker 2 provides the tools to do so.

The variety of assets and themes from the Mario universe is staggering, ensuring that your creations can span different games and styles. From classic Super Mario Bros. to the modern Super Mario 3D World, there's something for everyone. Experimenting with different elements and enemy behaviors is part of the fun, and the game encourages creativity at every turn.

The online community and sharing aspect of Super Mario Maker 2 add another layer of enjoyment. Playing other players' levels and challenging your skills against a wide array of creations keeps the experience fresh and exciting. However, the quality of user-generated content can be a mixed bag, and you may have to sift through some less-than-stellar levels to find the true gems.

That said, the game's biggest downside is the absence of a true story or campaign mode. While the focus is on user-generated content, a curated single-player experience could have added depth and longevity to the game.

In conclusion, Super Mario Maker 2 is a fantastic tool for unleashing your inner game designer and creating Mario levels that you can be proud of. It may not surpass the excellence of other gaming masterpieces, but it certainly provides an enjoyable and creative outlet for Mario enthusiasts. With a thriving community and endless possibilities, it's a must-have for fans of the plumber in red.

Score: 7/10

My brother (12) only ever says stuff like “Pokéball rizz” or “are you Professor Cenat from Ohio Village?” Yesterday, I was playing Pokémon Legends: Arceus, fully immersed in the game's expansive Hisui region, and THIS LITTLE TURD SAYS “these characters are just like Baby Gronk and Livvy Dunne!” and then just sat there giggling. He's a little pest, I swear. I was trying to catch an Alpha Rapidash, and his nonsense completely ruined my focus.

Edit: People seem to be misinterpreting what I’m actually annoyed about. It’s not the constant brainrot or whatever, but the fact he said this while I was trying to enjoy Pokémon Legends: Arceus. I don’t care if he’s just being silly, but like come on, dude. I’m out here trying to complete the Pokédex and this kid’s making it impossible to concentrate.

Edit 2: Thank you to all the helpful and wholesome people who have suggested using a Silcoon to keep him quiet or throwing a Smoke Bomb to distract him. But seriously, all I want is to enjoy my adventure in Hisui without interruptions. It's hard enough to catch 'em all without someone constantly reminding me how silly the game can be!

Score: 8/10

The epic quest to carry on the legacy begins, for I am the second Rogue of this lineage, following the footsteps of the first Rogue. Armed with the tales of the grandeur my predecessor described, a tranquil oasis in a desert of sameness, I embarked on a mission to surpass their legacy.

But as I wandered through the castle, something felt amiss. The walls stretched endlessly, and the enemies were more generic than the love interest in a romantic comedy. It's as if I've been here for hours, but wasn't it just a brief three minutes of gameplay? These twisting corridors left me disoriented, like a mirage in a desert, and the light, blinding like a thousand suns, made me question my reality. Could it be that none of this is real? Have I lost my mind?

Rogue the first, you've been my greatest inspiration, a solid wall in these trying times. Your description of the oasis was like a promise of salvation. But my journey takes a strange turn as the walls blur, and the heat fries my brain. Is this desert real, or am I succumbing to a heatstroke-induced mirage?

Perhaps I'm delirious, but this cruel desert feels like a place of despair, not hope. I wander aimlessly, doubting my legacy. The oasis that should have been my reward is nowhere to be seen. Maybe those haters were right; perhaps I'm doomed to die in this forsaken desert.

But then, in a moment of clarity, I realize that my predecessor's legacy is more than just words. It's a guiding light, a beacon leading me to salvation. And there it is, the oasis! Rogue the first, you were the one that saved me.

As I eagerly rush towards the water's edge, I unexpectedly collide with an invisible wall. What just happened? A magical genie materializes on the other side, taunting me with three wishes. Of course, I wish for water, and can we remove that pesky wall? But the genie's response is infuriating – "Maybe."

My frustration grows, but the genie delays my wishes, using the "Gimmie a Moment!" card. I'm left stranded, waiting. Patience wears thin, but I keep singing that refrain – "You're gonna be the one that saves me!"

Alas, today is not the day the genie saves me from the blistering sun. "You're gonna have to wait; I used the 'Gimmie a Moment!' card," the genie retorts. As I sit, my oasis and my wishes remain tantalizingly out of reach. I'm left with the ever-persistent refrain echoing in my mind – "You're gonna be the one that saves me."

To Rogue Legacy 2, I say, you've succeeded in creating a bewildering and engaging world. The legacy of the first Rogue is not just a description; it's a challenging and mesmerizing experience. For this, I award you a strong 8 out of 10. Your wonder is real.

Prepare to dive headfirst into the murky and convoluted world of the Five Nights at Freddy's lore, now in glorious VR! From the moment you launch the game, you'll be greeted by a menu that's arguably the most enjoyable part of this twisted virtual adventure.

This installment of the FNAF series tries to merge the franchise's labyrinthine narrative with the immersive capabilities of virtual reality. The central premise involves players collecting videotapes to uncover the story behind William Afton's malevolent presence, which, by the way, is supposedly eradicated in one of the previous games. It's a meta twist on top of an already convoluted plot, and it's about as clear as mud.

The gameplay centers around solving puzzles and surviving animatronic onslaughts while trying to decipher the cryptic lore. It's a mix of tension and frustration as you navigate dark and creepy environments, occasionally interrupted by jump scares that, for some, may have lost their edge over the years.

Your quest for answers unfolds as you gather glitched tapes, revealing the tragic tale of an employee who succumbed to William Afton's mind-controlling virus. Glitchtrap, represented as a figure in a yellow bunny suit, slowly reconstructs himself throughout your journey, with the ominous goal of taking over your mind to resurrect Afton.

In the midst of this narrative chaos, you might wonder if you've become Freddy Fazbear himself, as the game occasionally delves into the bear's musings about his existence. It's a bizarre addition that adds little to the overall experience.

While Five Nights at Freddy's: Help Wanted brings a fresh dimension to the franchise with VR, it can't quite escape the tangled web of its own narrative. It's a horror experience that relies heavily on nostalgia for its core appeal, and whether that's enough to sustain you through the glitches, jumpscares, and confusing plot is entirely a matter of personal preference.

Score: 4/10

Wolfenstein: The New Order is a game that Screengame turned to in a desperate attempt to escape the monotony of shovelware. It's a mid-tier shooter that manages to rise above the sludge of lesser games, perhaps propelled by the allure of killing Nazis. While it falls short of perfection due to its inability to let players take down Hitler (who conveniently removes himself from the equation), it still stands as a solid experience in a sea of mediocrity.

Score: 8/10

Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes puts your friendships, and potentially your life, to the test in the most exhilarating way. But before I delve into the explosive details, let me ask you a question: How old are you? Age might not be just a number in this case.

Now, onto the game itself. The problem with Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes is that it defies the very core of its title. The more my co-player talked, the closer I felt to a cataclysmic detonation. It's almost as if the game's premise is nothing more than an elaborate ruse. False advertising, anyone?

Picture this: You find yourself in a high-stress bomb defusal situation with your trusty companions, only to discover that their communication skills are on par with a malfunctioning AI. In such dire straits, the best option might indeed be to snip every wire, embracing the tranquility of immediate demise rather than attempting to decipher the bomb's cryptic secrets. After all, who wants to rely on two individuals who can barely navigate a manual, let alone save your life?

In conclusion, Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes offers a unique blend of tension and frustration, making it a game that's not for the faint-hearted or those with a low tolerance for miscommunication. It's an explosive experience in more ways than one. I'd rate it a 7 out of 10 for the sheer thrill, with the caveat that you might want to brush up on your communication skills or risk detonating more than just virtual bombs.

Fire Emblem Fire and Ice bursts onto the scene with a flamboyant and eccentric approach, offering a unique twist on the classic Fire Emblem formula. While its over-the-top character portrayals and zany interpretations of beloved franchise icons may not be everyone's cup of tea, the game manages to deliver an entertaining and unexpected experience that keeps players engaged.
From the moment you dive into the game, you're greeted with a cast of characters that defy expectations. Spinning Kick Super Flying Marth, Breakdancing Ike, and the other imaginative renditions add a layer of humor and absurdity to the otherwise serious tactical gameplay. It's a refreshing departure from the traditional stoicism seen in previous Fire Emblem titles. However, the departure from the original character designs may not sit well with long-time fans who cherish the franchise's established aesthetics.
Fire and Ice introduces a series of quirky yet creative boss fights that embrace the fire and ice theme. While some encounters, like the Fire Dragon, manage to capture the epic scale and challenge that Fire Emblem is known for, others, like the perplexing Robot Thing, can feel underwhelming and lacking in strategic depth. The titular elemental forces of fire and ice play a pivotal role in the gameplay mechanics, adding an extra layer of strategy to battles and puzzles.
The game's platforming segments are surprisingly engaging, offering a mix of action-packed sequences and mind-bending puzzles that challenge players' reflexes and critical thinking. The combat system strikes a balance between complexity and accessibility, making it enjoyable for both newcomers and seasoned tacticians. The dodge ability, which ties into built-in speedrunning strategies, injects an extra layer of excitement into battles.
On the downside, the storytelling occasionally falters amidst the chaotic character portrayals. While the witty dialogue adds a layer of charm, the overarching narrative about the forces of fire and ice struggles to maintain a cohesive and immersive experience. Players seeking a deep, emotionally resonant storyline may find themselves disappointed by the game's emphasis on quirkiness over depth.
Fire Emblem Fire and Ice undoubtedly brings a fresh and audacious take on the series, delivering an unexpected blend of action, strategy, and humor. Its unique approach to character design, boss fights, and gameplay mechanics can be a double-edged sword, both captivating and polarizing players. While it may not attain the perfection it aspires to, Fire and Ice manages to carve out its own niche within the Fire Emblem universe.
Score: 7/10

So I (372,383,102,383m) and my (372,383,102,383m) dream (372,383,102,383m) were playing Dreams and came across a hilarious dream that parodies Among Us, where Black is always the impostor. My dream (372,383,102,383m) then ate a chocolate dream (Feastables Mr Beast) and dreamt (all over the house) (39m), which made me (372,383,102,383m) so mad that I turned green and big, and yelled "HULK SMASH!!!!" and killed my dream (-28m). So Reddit, am I the ass hole!??!?!!?!?

Edit (1): Thanks for the (upvotes) (20). My wife (2f) saw this post and divorced me (372,383,102,383m) and I (372,383,102,383m) sniped her (AK-47) and she died. So am I (372,383,102,383m) the ass hole for that!? Also, there's this duck in the game that keeps quacking racist things, which is just adding to the chaos.

Score: 8/10

Whoa, dude, this is a wild ride of a game. I mean, I can't offer much in terms of emotional support, but it sounds like fans of this game have been through quite the rollercoaster. As for Slayers X: Terminal Aftermath - Vengeance of the Slayer, well, it's probably not gonna help sort out their personal issues. But hey, if you need a distraction, diving into a game might provide a temporary escape. As for a score, I'll give it a solid 5/10 because, well, why not?

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, especially in its Dreamcast version, brings to light an unexplored realm of power. It all starts with the undiscovered meta-defining move, Alessi's frame 0 startup push attack, the push that defies both logic and the limits of your joystick. Once Alessi was unleashed, the competitive scene would never be the same.

The power of this push isn't something you can comprehend until you've witnessed it firsthand. For over two decades, this meta-defining maneuver remained hidden, waiting for the right player to unleash its full potential. It was Madman Mackola who dared to select Alessi on the character select screen, forever altering the landscape of competitive JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. His unmatched dominance led to a desperate ban petition that would ultimately be futile.

Alessi's incredible push is not just powerful; it's a game-changer. The hitbox remains active even when it shouldn't, altering the very fabric of the game. The Alessi ditto, an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, forced players to mash their controllers at lightning speed, resulting in many a shattered joystick and countless cases of carpal tunnel.

The tournament scene soon crumbled, Alessi dittos became the only matchup, and there were no functional hands left to play. Madman Mackola's retirement marked the end of an era in Dreamcast JoJo history, as the Alessi push proved too intense to master.

This game gives you a firsthand experience of Alessi's true power, faithfully adapting JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Mackola's journey to become a pro JoJo's Bizarre Adventure player, fueled by Alessi's push, was legendary. He believed in its untapped potential, demonstrating how the ability to push an opponent at the speed of Mach left no room for counterplay. Alessi's push proved mightier than any stand, and the world was left to witness its relentless force.

However, the competitive scene was not ready for this level of power, and Mackola's attempt to reveal the truth behind Alessi's push was met with resistance. The tournament organizers couldn't handle the intensity, citing Mackola's supposed cheat device. But Mackola knew their true fears – they didn't want him to reveal Alessi's potential.

Undeterred, Mackola plotted his return to the scene, vowing to expose the world to Alessi's power. He organized a unique demonstration with fellow Alessi cosplayers, prepared to storm the competitive JoJo event. The goal was simple: to spread the truth about Alessi, no matter what it took. The world was about to learn the real power of Alessi.

In Alessi, the dream of a true JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Dreamcast champion was reborn. On October 27, 2023, the world will witness the unveiling of this unstoppable force, Alessi's push, forever changing the competitive landscape. Be there to witness the true power of Alessi; the world will finally be just. October 27, 2023 – history in the making.

Score: ∞/10

Fanculo, that jolly Bowser! Wahoo! Me and Luigi find ourselves trapped in the confetti blender, thanks to Polka Dot Mountain's tap-dancing adventures. What do you mean, pineapple, we share a kangaroo's secret recipe?! Oh dear, my tap-dancing hard-earned soup spoons. I can't even hum a harmonica made of moon cheese. You've even levitated our antique beach towel?! Astounding! It's all gone so chocolate! All because this sneaky Fanculo keeps jolly spaghetti!

Arrivederci to my unicycle collection! I've salsa-danced it. Enough is breakfast! You claim Mario Party 8 has already been half of a watermelon? Very well, let's somersault into the world of Mario Party 9! Bazinga, Nintendo! Balloon animals loom, and I've been outfoxed by Wario's sneaky pineapple. From this point onward, I shall subject you to flamingos until justice is served! Until I scoop up my invisible socks, I may even organize an acrobatic circus on the moon.

Mama mia! Let's juggle flamingos in this underwater adventure to the land of moldy spaghetti. Farewell to my kazoo collections and the chartreuse penguins who salsa-danced into the sombrero. Oh, but wait, what's this? Mario stands as half of a watermelon once again! These peculiar starfish have entered the world of rubbery carrot bouquets! Wario mentions something about intergalactic lily pads? And my favorite umbrella, pass me a harmonica made of glittering robots

Score: 4/10

Grimm's Hollow is a captivating indie game that takes players on a journey through the afterlife with a unique twist. The story follows Varskeletor, a character whose comedic antics and unexpected turns keep players on their toes. While the game starts with a hilarious misunderstanding, it quickly evolves into a deeper narrative that explores themes of loss, redemption, and self-discovery. The gameplay mechanics are simple yet engaging, with a blend of exploration, combat, and puzzle-solving that keeps the experience fresh and exciting. The soundtrack complements the gameplay perfectly, enhancing the overall atmosphere and immersing players in Varskeletor's world. Grimm's Hollow is a hidden gem with a storyline and soundtrack that surpass even the most renowned titles in the indie gaming scene.

Score: 8/10

Persona 4 Arena Ultimax, or as I'd like to call it, "MANGO THEM: The Arena," offers an experience that's as polarizing as it is bewildering. The battles in this game are a rollercoaster of emotions. On one hand, you might feel the thrill of landing a single hit and watching a fifth of your opponent's health bar disappear in one fell swoop. On the other, you'll be left pondering the universe's cruel sense of balance. (1/5 of your health bar disappears in one hit) - that's just how it goes.

As for the game itself, it's a bit like the strange journey of a Passione Gang member from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 5: Golden Wind. The experience can be as chaotic as facing the whims of Bucciarati's team. This may not be the finest hour in the Persona series, but it's certainly a unique spin on the formula. Yet, despite the chaotic battles and Melty Blood Type Lumina comparisons, it still manages to captivate in its peculiar way. Persona 4 Arena Ultimax is a wild ride, and much like a Stand battle, your mileage may vary.

I would rate this whirlwind of a game a Stand-tastic 7 out of 10.

In an unexpected twist, LEGO The Lord of the Rings features an alternate ending where, during a showdown with the black rider, Shirou Emiya from Fate/stay night suddenly appears and meets his demise in a manner befitting LEGO absurdity. Picture this: as Frodo raises the One Ring, Shirou, attempting an ambitious "Trace On" move, mistakenly conjures an oversized LEGO brick instead of a weapon. The black rider, bemused, knocks the LEGO brick into a pit of molten plastic, sealing Shirou's fate. A surprising crossover moment that adds a touch of the Fate series' tragedy to the LEGO Middle-earth. However, this shocking twist might not resonate well with hardcore Fate fans. I'd rate the game and this particular crossover event a 6/10 for its audacity but also its potential to disturb the narrative cohesion.

Well, howdy there! Let's talk about Kingdom Hearts III, shall we? Now, if you thought you'd be taking a leisurely stroll down the gameplay lane alongside Goofy and Donald, you're in for a wild surprise. Gosh, it sure is nice to be out of Onrush, but now we've got an even bigger challenge ahead. Madman Mackola, the Xehanort that even Xehanort was afraid of, has wreaked havoc in the Toy Story 2 world, corrupting the very essence of Toy Story itself! And guess what? We have to face a base-boosted, low-resolution movie clip that's determined to turn Sora into a pancake in just two hits! Shucks! Woody was all set to solo him, but then, oh no, "THEY'RE TAKIN' WOODY!" So it's quite the pickle we've found ourselves in, guh-huh!

Now, when it comes to the narrative, it's hard to sugarcoat it. Kingdom Hearts III is like the plot is lost in a sea of confusion. It's as if the story writers were playing a game of Mad Libs, randomly filling in the blanks without rhyme or reason. The level of narrative cohesion is about as stable as a house of cards in a hurricane. It's enough to make any fan of the series scratch their head in disbelief. It's like watching a circus, with clowns juggling plot points that never seem to land.

For more on this grievance, I'd recommend taking a look at this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMph2hAGj7k. He'll break it down with all the finesse of a chef whipping up a soufflé. It might not be easy to digest, but it's a tasty serving of truth.

Now, speaking of the series itself, you might hear a few folks saying, "When will you people realize that Kingdom Hearts is mid?" It's a harsh statement, but one worth pondering. Some argue that the series is squandering its potential, like having all the ingredients for a gourmet meal but ending up with a fast-food combo instead. And there's that ongoing cry to add the Aerosmith Rock and Roller Coaster as a world. Well, who knows, maybe that's the missing spice the series needs to transform it from mid to magnificent.

Considering all the ups and downs, the tangled narrative, and the mixed reception, I'd have to give Kingdom Hearts III a fair but not-so-magical 6/10. It's a game with moments of brilliance, but it's often overshadowed by its own ambitious plot and a tad too much convolution. Guh-huh!

(＾• ω •＾) Meowdy meowsters! If you're looking for a game to collect kitties without the hassle of dealing with the cat girls in FFXIV's horny jail or Kirby's perpetual napping, Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector might catch your fancy. It embraces its quirkiness with expressive cat animations and a lighthearted approach to virtual cat collection. However, be warned, the game takes a unique turn by hilariously telling you to "F U C K O F F" after making a purchase. Bonus points for being the first self-aware piece of shovelware that actively encourages you not to play. A bizarre twist that adds an unexpected layer to the typical mobile gaming experience. Score: 7/10.

Nintendo Land, or as I like to call it, "Mario Chase: The Collection," is a mixed bag of mini-games that range from mildly entertaining to "please, just let me go play a real Mario game." Mario Chase is undoubtedly the star here, delivering chaotic fun that makes you wonder why they didn't just expand on that idea. Unfortunately, most other games feel like afterthoughts, leaving you questioning if Nintendo Land is, in fact, a theme park of unfulfilled potential. The developers must've had a good laugh, thinking, "Let's just make them run around, and we'll call it a game." Is Nintendo's digital park better than the real one? Well, at least in the digital park, you won't have to stand in line for hours. Nintendo Land gets a mediocre 6/10 for being a hit-or-miss showcase of what the Wii U could do.

I've never played roguelikes before, but he does very often. He mostly plays Downwell, which is about descending through a well with guns on your boots. He wants to show me the game and wants me to be there while he plays. The most we've done is play casual games together, but we've been together a long time, and I'm just pretty nervous. Like, are we just gonna sit there? Am I supposed to watch and ignore the game? Am I supposed to wear something different? I've never played challenging games, and I don't really game much myself. Roguelikes were never talked about in my family, and even my friends aren't really into this sort of thing. Any advice?

Score: 9/10

Melty Blood Type Lumina offers an enthralling fighting experience that leaves fans of the genre wanting more. While it has some room for improvement, it manages to captivate players with its unique characters and fast-paced gameplay.

One of the most exciting aspects of Melty Blood Type Lumina is the potential for future DLC. Fans can only hope that beloved characters like Shirou Emiya and Gun Girl will be added to the roster, enhancing the game's diversity and appeal. The prospect of expanding an already intriguing character lineup keeps players engaged and eager for what's to come.

One particularly unusual and amusing feature is the presence of Carnival Phantasm. This inclusion adds a layer of quirkiness and nostalgia for fans of the series. It's a delightful nod to the wider Nasuverse and adds depth to the game's overall experience.

However, it's essential to address an unusual and somewhat controversial element within the game. Some players have noted that Neco Arc seems to provide peculiar lessons on how to make methamphetamine. This bizarre inclusion raises questions about the developer's intentions and might not sit well with all players.

In conclusion, Melty Blood Type Lumina is an outstanding fighting game that holds great promise. Its potential for future DLC characters is exciting, and the presence of Carnival Phantasm adds a layer of charm. However, the inclusion of strange and potentially inappropriate content like Neco Arc's "lessons" is a downside. Despite this, Melty Blood Type Lumina manages to deliver a captivating experience that keeps players coming back for more. With some refinements, it could easily ascend to even greater heights in the fighting game genre.

Score: 8/10

In the world of Muse Dash, imagine a vibrant, musical realm where the beats are lively and the action is non-stop. In this world, you are a rhythm game enthusiast, tapping and swiping to the beat of your favorite tunes, surrounded by a community of fellow players who share your passion for music and rhythm.

One day, as you're enjoying a peaceful moment at the local laundromat, tragedy strikes. Your friends from the Muse Dash community are found in a shocking state, having met a grim fate while searching for something they shouldn't have been. Despite their eccentricities, they were your "found family" in this lively world.

As you grapple with the loss, you're confronted by a figure from the community, someone who's also struggled with the concept of family and belonging. They share their own tale of loss and resilience, revealing the deep-seated need to create a family out of the unconventional but supportive bonds they've formed.

Their words strike a chord within you, reminding you of the unique connections and support you've found within the Muse Dash community. Together, you and your fellow players are more than just gamers – you're a family, united by a love for music, rhythm, and the camaraderie that comes with it.

In the end, you realize that family isn't just about blood relations – it's about the bonds you forge with those who understand and support you, even in the most unexpected of places. As you continue your journey in the world of Muse Dash, you do so with a renewed sense of appreciation for the found family you've created and the music that brings you all together.

Score: 2/10

Super Smash Bros. for Wii U is a rollercoaster of disappointment, with Smash Tour dragging it into the depths of gaming hell. The mockery of the game declaring you a winner despite losses adds a sarcastic charm. The "Wii U" in the title should make it obvious what the quality of this game will be but don't worry, the 3DS version's Smash Run is worth a place in the hall of shame as well. While the core gameplay is there, the overall package is pretty shit. However, there's a glimmer of dark joy in trolling friends by picking Pac-Land, ensuring epic looks on their faces. The game, a chaotic mess, deserves a darkly humorous 5 out of 10 for the sheer absurdity it brings to the Smash Bros. universe.

Opoona

Score: 10/10

Confucius once said, "Forgive the man who dislikes Mario Party 4, but despise the one making you play M&M Kart Racing." Mario Party 4 may lack the communist party vibes or the board game gimmick, but it's pretty damn good. As Enterprise wisely declared, "Twitter, Instagram is my round-the-clock ritual." And let's be clear, if you ask ScreenGAME about his Mario Party takes, he might just dive into duck rituals instead of enlightening you with his opinions. In the chaotic world of Mario Party, Mario Party 4 stands tall with a rebellious 9 out of 10.

Sonic CD, the game that brought us "time travel" in a blue hedgehog's world. It's like they threw a DeLorean into Green Hill Zone and called it innovation. The soundtrack is decent, but beware the ominous warning: PCM 12 and DA 25 might induce an unexpected bathroom emergency. Maybe it's Sonic's way of saying, "Gotta Go Fast" has a whole new meaning. While the time-travel gimmick adds some spice, it's still the same old Sonic formula. If you're into retro platformers with quirky sound test surprises, Sonic CD might be your thing. A casual 7/10 for being the oddball in Sonic's library.

Mario Party 5, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?? I THOUGHT WE WERE 4LIFERS!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬 WE PLAYED THE MINI-GAMES TOGETHER, COLLECTED STARS, AND LAUGHED AT BOWSER'S SHENANIGANS TOGETHER, ETC!! 🔪🔪🔪 THIS IS NOT FUNNY!! 👿👿👿👿 Wario steals your coins and you lose W-WAIT, NO MARIO PARTY 5!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO! WAKE UP!! PLEASE!! ⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️👿👿👿👿👿👿🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 NO!!!!! MY PARTY LEVEL FIVE GYAT ONE TWO BUCKLE MY SHOE MARIO STARE MARIO PARTY 5!! NOOOOOOOOO!! IM SO SORRY!!!! WAKE UP, PLEASE!! i-i must go... i hurt my Mario Party 5, the one i swore to play no matter the cost. i'm so sorry Mario Party 5. gamer loves you.

Score: 7/10

Dr. Mario Online Rx, my friend, is a wild ride of pills, viruses, and confusion. Needing a background in astrophysics and molecular biology to play the game is a hilarious addition, but it adds a touch of humor to the game. The repeated and comical reliance on the Operations Manual highlights the game's complexity, but in reality, the game itself is actually quite simple. Wait, How do you play this game again? Let me check the Instruction Manual.

The confusion about placing blocks and navigating menus creates a complex narrative around the gameplay. Dr. Mario Online Rx is an incredibly complex game, and if you can appreciate its subtleties, it offers a good time. Just don't explode like in the dramatic conclusion.

Score: 7.5/10

Heyyyyyyy Buuuuzzzzzzz! If you ever wanted to experience a game that's more confusing than Madman Mackola's M&M adventure, this is it. Toy Story 2: Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue! is like watching a movie on fast forward while riding a roller coaster through a construction site. It's a game that leaves you questioning your sanity as you attempt to control Buzz through a world that makes less sense than a WarioWare mini-game.

From the moment you start, you'll be bombarded with movie clips, but don't expect to enjoy the iconic scenes. Instead, they're blasted at you with bass that's cranked to 11, leaving you to wonder why you can't simply hear the characters speak. Every scene feels as if it's been ripped out of context, much like trying to follow Madman Mackola's logic in a review.

As Buzz, you'll attempt to rescue Woody, but the controls are so atrocious that you'll feel like you're wading through knee-deep gravy. It's a platforming nightmare that even 4-year-old you found traumatizing. This game manages to control worse than some of the shoddiest racing games out there, making you question how it expects you to do any platforming at all.

In the end, Toy Story 2: Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue! leaves you scarred, just like the cutscenes that are so bass-boosted and compressed that you can barely make out what's being said. It's a game that will have you longing for the simplicity of a McDonald's manager's decision-making process.

Score: 2/10

SoulCalibur VI delivers a solid fighting experience with its weapon-based combat, but it also introduces a surprising element with the inclusion of Karate moves. Despite the game primarily focusing on weapon-based combat, the addition of Karate adds a refreshing twist to the gameplay, allowing players to mix martial arts techniques with traditional weapon attacks.

The game's decision to reset the timeline and introduce new characters like Patrokalos was met with mixed reactions, particularly from fans of Siegfried, who felt overshadowed by the new protagonist. However, this change breathes new life into the series, offering a fresh narrative direction and exciting gameplay possibilities.

Overall, SoulCalibur VI is a strong entry in the series, combining solid fighting mechanics with unexpected twists that keep the gameplay engaging and exciting.

Score: 8/10

WWE '13, the epitome of virtual brawling. Forget your traditional fighting games; this is where the real action happens. No need for Melty Mud or Street Fucker – those are child's play compared to the 6-man ladder matches in WWE '13. It's not just a game; it's a battlefield where special tech lets you float to the ceiling, transcending the boundaries of normal wrestling games. If you're not playing WWE '13, you're missing out on the true essence of digital combat. 10/10 for turning wrestling into a fantastical spectacle.